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00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:11,512
♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
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00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,431
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
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00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,266
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:18,227
♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:19,812
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
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00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:22,023
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
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♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
8
00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:28,362
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm!
Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
9
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,158
♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪
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[ Cellphone ringing ]
11
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:46,547
[ Sighs ]
12
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:47,882
[ Cellphone beeps ]
13
00:00:48,049 --> 00:00:49,508
Yes, Eric?
14
00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:54,305
[ Sobbing ]
15
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:58,517
Eric,
this isn't working.
16
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,936
Heidi, no, please!
17
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:03,564
Heidi, Heidi,
I would be nothing without you.
18
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,066
Okay?
I'm sorry.
19
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,567
Okay?
Please!
20
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:07,985
You called me a whore
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00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:09,862
and pushed me
in front of a car.
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Heidi,
I was in a bad mood.
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I told you -- that's
what happens after I eat.
24
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My blood sugar spikes,
25
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and I get all anxious
and then I crash --
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Eric, you can't just
keep being mean to me
27
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and blaming it
on your blood sugar.
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But it--
But it's true, Heidi!
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It's all my mom's fault.
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She feeds me
all this crap,
31
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and my body doesn't know
how to process it.
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Mom!
33
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Mom!
34
00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:30,007
Yes, hon?
35
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:32,760
You fucked up my life, Mom!
Fuck you!
36
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,428
How could you feed me
like that, you bitch?!
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Get outta here!
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Eric, if blood sugar
is really the problem,
39
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then you need to change
how you eat, right?
40
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Right. Like, what'd ya --
what'd ya mean?
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Eric, every time
I've talked to you
42
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about maybe being a vegan
with me,
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you just tell me
vegans are pussies,
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but then you try and blame
food and your mom for --
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It is the food
and it is my mom, Heidi!
46
00:01:53,239 --> 00:01:54,657
It is!
I wanna be vegan with you!
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I need your help to show me how.
Please, Heidi.
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I need you right now,
more than ever.
49
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I want to do this.
Please.
50
00:01:59,745 --> 00:02:01,247
You really mean it?
51
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:03,165
Yes, Heidi!
That's how much I love you.
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I'm vegan from now on.
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All right, Eric.
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We'll see how
this goes, okay?
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I'll see you tomorrow.
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Okay.
Okay, bye, honey.
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[ Cellphone beeps ]
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♪♪
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[ Indistinct conversations ]
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That dirty whore!
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Who does that bitch
think she is?!
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Packing my lunch for me?
Fuck her, dude!
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00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,480
Pissed off at your girlfriend
again, huh, Eric?
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She's not
a girlfriend.
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She's a controlling,
manipulative whore!
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00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:31,861
That's enough,
Cartman.
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00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,571
I am so sick
of hearing you
68
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:34,947
call Heidi
horrible things!
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That's because
you don't understand
70
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how much it sucks
to be in a relationship.
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Hey, babe.
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Oh, hey, babe.
What's going on?
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What are you up to?
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00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,624
Nothing, just telling the guys
how awesome it is to be vegan.
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That's great.
You wanna come eat with me?
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I can explain
what I packed.
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Yeah, sure.
That sounds awesome.
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I don't get it.
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I just really
don't get it.
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How is she still
supporting him?
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00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,221
She loves him,
I guess.
82
00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,598
But he clearly
sucks.
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00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:01,891
She has to know
he sucks.
84
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:03,058
What the hell
is going on?
85
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:04,810
Well, it's not
our problem.
86
00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:06,270
It is our problem.
87
00:03:06,437 --> 00:03:08,814
This is affecting us --
our whole school.
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There's got to be a reason
she sticks by him.
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00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:14,403
[ School bell rings ]
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00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:16,947
[ Cheering ]
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00:03:18,657 --> 00:03:20,409
Oh, Heidi.
92
00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:21,702
Heidi,
you got a sec?
93
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- Oh, hey, Kyle.
- Hey.
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00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,331
Uh, listen, uh --
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I-I know you and Cartman
have an anniversary coming up,
96
00:03:27,583 --> 00:03:29,084
and I was just wondering,
you know,
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how do you think
he's doing?
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00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,462
As a boyfriend?
99
00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:33,172
Well,
what do you mean?
100
00:03:33,339 --> 00:03:35,633
Well, you know, like,
some of us are thinking that,
101
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:38,469
uh, maybe he's not super
qualified to be with you.
102
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Oh, God.
Not you, too.
103
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Just, like, what are
the things about Cartman
104
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that you find...
remotely redeeming?
105
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Look, don't you think I get it
enough from my girlfriends?
106
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"He sucks, Heidi.
What's wrong with you?
107
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:51,482
Why can't you admit
he's a loser?
108
00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:53,442
How could anyone
ever go with him?"
109
00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,319
I was just
following my heart.
110
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Isn't that what
you're supposed to do?
111
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You don't have
to get defensive.
112
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- I just --
- Who's being defensive?!
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He's great!
We're doing great!
114
00:04:01,075 --> 00:04:02,910
I didn't make
a bad decision.
115
00:04:03,077 --> 00:04:06,121
I don't need you to stand there
and say, "I told you so."
116
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,289
I didn't say,
"I told you" --
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00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,083
You know, you don't know
what Eric's like
118
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,043
when we're alone,
okay?
119
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:14,046
He's actually
really good to me.
120
00:04:15,506 --> 00:04:16,757
Wow.
121
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:22,388
[ Knocking on door ]
122
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,973
Heidi!
123
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,599
Oh, my God.
You're not gonna believe this.
124
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,351
- What?
- You were so right...
125
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,394
[ Door closes ]
...when you said there were
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00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:29,895
vegan options
for everything.
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00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,022
Remember how you told me
about Beyond Meat?
128
00:04:32,189 --> 00:04:33,315
Yeah, the vegan meat
that's made
129
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,025
with all vegetables
and plants.
130
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:36,277
Well, I tried it,
and you were right.
131
00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,611
You can't even
tell the difference
132
00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:38,946
between that
and real meat.
133
00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:40,281
Really?
That's great, babe.
134
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,408
So now I've been trying
all kinds of vegan foods.
135
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,952
You gotta try this.
It's called Beyond KFC.
136
00:04:45,119 --> 00:04:47,371
Oh, wow.
It's all plant-based.
137
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:48,664
Soy protein, and just --
Y-You gotta taste this.
138
00:04:48,831 --> 00:04:50,124
Just try it.
139
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,003
It tastes just like KFC.
140
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,839
I know, right?!
Isn't that crazy?
141
00:04:57,006 --> 00:04:58,257
Like -- Like, seriously,
142
00:04:58,424 --> 00:04:59,758
how could you even tell
that this was vegan?
143
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,136
Try the -- try the Beyond
Mashed Potatoes and Gravy too.
144
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,679
They say you can even drink
the Beyond Gravy by itself
145
00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:04,930
as like a protein boost.
146
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:08,267
I don't know about you,
but I could eat this every day.
147
00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:12,604
Yeah, it's really good.
148
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:13,897
Delicious.
149
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,984
[ School bell rings ]
150
00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:19,069
Guys, listen.
151
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,071
I think I know why
Heidi won't admit
152
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:22,239
Cartman's
a horrible boyfriend.
153
00:05:22,406 --> 00:05:23,949
Dude, are you
still on this?
154
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,743
Yeah!
It's important!
155
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:27,411
Maybe she's telling
the truth, Kyle.
156
00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:29,413
Maybe Eric really does
love and support her
157
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:30,706
in ways
that we don't see.
158
00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:32,249
You guys!
You guys!
159
00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:34,209
- Have you seen Heidi?
- No.
160
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,462
Well, uh, we've been trying
some different foods lately,
161
00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:39,381
and, uh, Heidi's put on
some pounds, you guys.
162
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,175
Heidi's
getting fat?
163
00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:42,676
Yeah, Token,
don't start ripping on me
164
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,219
for having a fat girlfriend,
all right?
165
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,637
Just try
and be cool about it.
166
00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:47,222
Hey, babe.
167
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:49,683
Oh, hey, hey, hey, Heidi.
What's going on?
168
00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,687
I-I'm not feeling
the best again.
169
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,231
I might see if my mom
can come pick me up.
170
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,233
Pick you up?
That could be tough.
171
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,403
I -- I know,
but I just feel bloated.
172
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:03,197
I think there might
have been something bad
173
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:04,907
in that Beyond Arby's.
174
00:06:05,074 --> 00:06:05,991
Yeah,
well, cool babe.
175
00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,576
Maybe you should, uh,
176
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,286
just waddle on down
to the nurse's office.
177
00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:10,704
Can you come with?
178
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,206
Oh, sure.
179
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,209
We have to help
that girl.
180
00:06:15,376 --> 00:06:17,086
Can't you see
what's happening?
181
00:06:17,252 --> 00:06:19,296
Kyle,
it's none of our business.
182
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:20,672
You're wrong.
183
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,966
In a way...
184
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:26,428
I think we're all going out
with Cartman right now.
185
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:28,138
Uh-huh.
186
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,807
Yeah, I understand that,
faggot.
187
00:06:29,973 --> 00:06:32,267
And you should understand
how my balls are gonna taste
188
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:34,228
when your country
starts needing money.
189
00:06:34,395 --> 00:06:35,854
I don't give two shits
about a treaty.
190
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:36,897
You're a Polish midget.
191
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,148
[ Knock on door ]
Come in.
192
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,944
Uh-huh. Hang -- Hang on.
I'm gonna call you back.
193
00:06:42,111 --> 00:06:43,695
Yeah, go fuck yourself,
retard.
194
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,030
[ Receiver clicks ]
195
00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,116
Mr. President,
we have a problem.
196
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:48,659
People are
pretty upset.
197
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,869
Oh, don't tell me
people are still mad
198
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,454
about that nigger thing.
199
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:56,041
It's pronounced "Niger,"
Mr. President.
200
00:06:56,208 --> 00:06:57,835
And it's a country
in Africa.
201
00:06:58,001 --> 00:06:59,711
Ooh, aren't we fancy.
202
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:02,214
Okay, I don't want
a bunch "Nigers" in Africa
203
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,507
aiding terrorists.
204
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:04,925
Mr. President,
205
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,343
you need to be
a little more careful.
206
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,095
There's
an investigation.
207
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:09,763
A worker
with ties to Russia
208
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,474
was found
raped and executed.
209
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,685
Raped and executed?
210
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:15,853
Oh, you mean
fucked to death?
211
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,438
Oh, yeah, that was me.
212
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:19,857
Mr. President, people
are starting to question
213
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,108
your oath
to the office!
214
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,901
My oath to the office
215
00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:25,320
was that I would fuck
everyone to death, remember?
216
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:26,905
Ooh, I 'member!
217
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:28,490
- Me, too. I 'member!
- I 'member that.
218
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:30,159
You guys be quiet.
219
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:31,577
And you guys
just get out there
220
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,662
and put a positive spin
on this whole thing.
221
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:36,498
How are we supposed to put
a positive spin on it?
222
00:07:36,665 --> 00:07:38,375
It's getting pretty hard
to keep defending you.
223
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,669
Maybe it's time
we put our foot down.
224
00:07:40,836 --> 00:07:42,296
Oooh.
225
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:43,380
[ Beep, whir ]
226
00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:45,757
[ Door closes, locks ]
227
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,968
Hope you brought
some condoms.
228
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,512
[ Ball bouncing ]
229
00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:06,820
Hello.
230
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,780
I know things have been
difficult between us lately.
231
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,783
I know you think
all boys are sort of pigs,
232
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,660
but just know that
a lot of us boys
233
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:17,414
think girls are amazing
and smart and beautiful.
234
00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:19,333
Not -- Not like
hot beautiful,
235
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,834
I mean like
inside beautiful.
236
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,127
I -- I'm not saying
you're hot.
237
00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:23,337
You're not --
You're not hot.
238
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:24,796
I'm not saying
you're ugly.
239
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:27,007
It doesn't matter.
You're all hot on the inside.
240
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:29,176
If we could all just see
inside you, it would be hot.
241
00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:30,219
Oh, shit.
242
00:08:30,385 --> 00:08:31,762
What do you want,
Kyle?
243
00:08:31,929 --> 00:08:33,263
It's Heidi Turner.
244
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,139
You guys shouldn't
criticize her so much
245
00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:35,766
for going with Cartman.
246
00:08:35,933 --> 00:08:37,392
Why not? Eric Cartman
is a horrible person.
247
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:39,394
I know!
I-I know that, okay?
248
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,146
Trust me, I hate Cartman
as much as any of you.
249
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,357
But just, give her some space,
you know?
250
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,359
You can't keep saying,
"We told you so,"
251
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:46,944
because if you make her
feel dumb,
252
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:48,111
she just doubles down
and tries to prove to herself
253
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,321
that it wasn't dumb.
254
00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,449
Why do you care?
Do you like Heidi?
255
00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:53,867
No!
256
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,786
Oh, my God.
He so likes Heidi.
257
00:08:55,953 --> 00:08:56,578
Obvi.
258
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,330
No, I don't!
259
00:08:58,497 --> 00:09:00,290
Do I?
260
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,461
Hey, Kyle!
261
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:05,837
Hey, I was thinkin' about
what you said --
262
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,464
how we should all help Heidi
break up with Eric?
263
00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:10,092
You're right.
It's our moral obligation.
264
00:09:10,259 --> 00:09:12,844
Yeah, no, we're not
getting involved in that.
265
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:13,971
Oh, we're not?
266
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:15,514
Yeah, no,
yeah, I, uh --
267
00:09:15,681 --> 00:09:17,558
I think we need
to stay out of it.
268
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,142
Oh.
Okay, then.
269
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:22,980
Cartman, can we talk?
270
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,439
Sure, Kyle.
What's up?
271
00:09:24,606 --> 00:09:26,650
I just -- I hope that
maybe you can realize
272
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:28,193
what you have with Heidi
273
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,821
and -- and just try
to be good to her, okay?
274
00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:32,990
Kyle, let me tell you something
about relationships.
275
00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:34,408
There's always two sides.
Okay?
276
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,410
You compromise,
she compromises.
277
00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:38,036
Sometimes you criticize
each other,
278
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,997
but it's all part of trying
to make each other better.
279
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,415
Some day, maybe you'll
have a girlfriend
280
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:42,457
and you'll understand.
281
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:43,417
Oh, here she comes.
282
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,588
[ Beating drum ]
Boom-baba, boom-baba!
283
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,006
Clear the hallway,
everyone!
284
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,007
Heidi's comin' troo!
285
00:09:51,383 --> 00:09:53,218
Wha-- What are you
doing, Eric?
286
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:54,970
I was just practicing marching
bass drum for my buddy Kyle.
287
00:09:55,137 --> 00:09:56,263
It's his favorite.
288
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:57,514
Oh, okay.
289
00:09:57,681 --> 00:09:59,308
Um, are we still on
for lunch?
290
00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,018
You betcha.
Can't wait.
291
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:02,811
Okay.
See ya.
292
00:10:02,978 --> 00:10:06,231
[ Beating drum ]
Boom-baba, boom-baba, boom!
293
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,902
♪♪
294
00:10:11,069 --> 00:10:12,571
Some concern
295
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:14,781
over the president's competency
again today.
296
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,992
It was during
a Middle East peace conference
297
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:19,578
when the president referred to
the people of Saudi Arabia
298
00:10:19,745 --> 00:10:22,247
as "a bunch
of dirty sand Nigers."
299
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:23,832
Though the comments
seem divisive,
300
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:25,459
Speaker of the House
Paul Ryan
301
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:28,337
says he's sticking
by his president 100%.
302
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,798
Reporter: Speaker Ryan,
it's the anniversary
303
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,050
of the president
being elected.
304
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:35,052
How do you think
he's doing?
305
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,428
Well,
what do you mean?
306
00:10:36,595 --> 00:10:38,180
He's great.
We're doing great.
307
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,140
A lot of people judge him
and just see the negative.
308
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,142
People don't know how great
the president can be
309
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:43,810
behind closed doors.
310
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,480
They don't get to see
all his good qualities.
311
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:50,275
Uh-huh. And is that semen
on your black eye?
312
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:52,194
Oh! No, I-I, uh --
I tripped on a doorknob!
313
00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:53,987
That's just --
That's doorknob cum.
314
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:07,084
You doing okay,
Heidi?
315
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,170
I keep thinking
Eric's going to change.
316
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:15,050
[ Sighs ]
Heidi...
317
00:11:15,217 --> 00:11:16,510
People like Cartman,
318
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:19,012
they always make things
someone else's fault.
319
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,723
We all wrongly see ourselves
as the victim sometimes,
320
00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,518
but Cartman sees himself
as the victim all the time.
321
00:11:24,685 --> 00:11:26,853
He'll always find someone
to blame for his shortcomings,
322
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,731
and because of that,
he's never gonna change.
323
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,817
Before we started
going out,
324
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,111
I was
in a really bad place.
325
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:37,364
I felt pushed away
by society.
326
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:39,241
Then this guy came along
327
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:40,909
who told me all the things
I wanted to hear,
328
00:11:41,076 --> 00:11:43,745
and I just went
with it.
329
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,622
Does that make me
a bad person?
330
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:46,998
[ Rihanna's "Unfaithful" playing ]
No, Heidi.
331
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,835
Good people make bad decisions
every day.
332
00:11:50,001 --> 00:11:52,629
I've been defending him
for so long.
333
00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,297
I don't know how
I'm gonna face people
334
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,882
if I finally give up.
335
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,593
♪♪
336
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,554
♪ Story of my life ♪
337
00:12:00,721 --> 00:12:02,222
♪ Searching for the right ♪
338
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:05,559
♪ But it keeps avoiding me ♪
339
00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,144
♪ Sorrow in my soul ♪
340
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,687
♪ 'Cause it seems that wrong ♪
341
00:12:08,854 --> 00:12:12,357
♪ Really loves my company ♪
342
00:12:12,524 --> 00:12:15,902
♪ I don't wanna
do this anymore ♪
343
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,072
♪ I don't wanna
be the reason why ♪
344
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,284
♪ Every time
I walk out the door ♪
345
00:12:22,451 --> 00:12:25,871
♪ I see him die
a little more inside ♪
346
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:29,124
♪ I don't wanna
hurt him anymore ♪
347
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:33,336
♪ I don't wanna
take away his life ♪
348
00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:38,717
♪ I don't wanna
do this anymore ♪
349
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:40,343
[ Muffled ]
Please, Heidi!
350
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:41,219
[ Sobbing ]
351
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:44,347
♪ Whoa ♪
352
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:47,768
♪ Anymore ♪
353
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:51,271
[ Knocking on door ]
354
00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:54,357
[ Crying ]
355
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,568
Hi...
356
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:57,694
Hi...
357
00:12:57,861 --> 00:13:00,155
Hi...Hi...Hi...
358
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:04,576
[ Doorbell rings ]
359
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:07,954
Hi...Hi...Hi...
360
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,331
What do you want?
361
00:13:09,498 --> 00:13:13,210
He-He-He-Heidi broke up with me,
Token.
362
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,337
[ Whimpers ]
363
00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:16,713
So?
364
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,882
I have nothing now, Token.
365
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,343
She was my whole world.
366
00:13:21,510 --> 00:13:23,929
C-Can I just stay here
with you please?
367
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,972
What?! Why?!
You still have a house!
368
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,558
I know how you feel now,
Token.
369
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:30,393
To be pissed off
at the world.
370
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,729
To feel completely screwed over
by society.
371
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:33,980
I totally get it now.
372
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,941
I wanna do what you guys do
373
00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,443
and go disrespect the flag
and flip cars over and stuff.
374
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:45,367
[ Doorbell rings ]
375
00:13:45,534 --> 00:13:47,661
Token, pleeeeease.
376
00:13:47,828 --> 00:13:49,454
I'm sorry for everything!
377
00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:52,123
I really understand now
how you guys feel.
378
00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:54,417
Please, what time
is your family gonna go
379
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,044
disrespect the flag tonight?
380
00:13:56,211 --> 00:13:57,838
- I wanna go with.
- Get outta here!
381
00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,840
- What's going on?
- Nothing, Mom.
382
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:03,093
Heidi broke up
with meeeee...
383
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,846
Token, he's freezing.
Come on in out of the snow.
384
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:08,390
Thank youuuuu...
385
00:14:08,557 --> 00:14:09,599
No!
386
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:14,646
Okay, we're safe to talk.
387
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:16,189
It's not safe!
388
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,066
No where's safe,
don't you understand?
389
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:19,818
We're all about to
get killed!
390
00:14:19,985 --> 00:14:22,612
Shh! Keep your voices down!
Look at this?
391
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:25,073
What are
all these numbers?
392
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,992
The latest approval ratings.
393
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:29,160
I've been researching
our own independent poll.
394
00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,663
The president is tanking.
395
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:35,417
These numbers are so low
that we might just have an out.
396
00:14:35,584 --> 00:14:37,878
Well, don't you guys
see what this means?
397
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,005
I don't know anything,
I'm just a turtle.
398
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,924
It means that the swing voters
are turning against him.
399
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,676
It's those people who matter.
400
00:14:44,843 --> 00:14:47,220
Those are the ones who can
finally turn this thing around!
401
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,222
And then we don't have to
get killed!
402
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,308
We can't let the president
know about this.
403
00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:53,435
- Just let him--
- What are you guys talking about?
404
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:54,895
No, nothing!
405
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,021
- Nope!
- Nothing, Mr. President.
406
00:14:56,187 --> 00:14:57,439
Oh, okay...
407
00:14:57,606 --> 00:14:59,232
Just having a little chat
or something?
408
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,109
It's an opinion poll,
Mr. President.
409
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:02,819
Your numbers are down,
410
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,821
and I wanted to show you
so you could do something!
411
00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:06,615
Oh, you bitch!
412
00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,700
I was the one who researched
the poll, Mr. President!
413
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,201
Let me see that...
414
00:15:10,368 --> 00:15:13,622
Huh...
Isn't that interesting.
415
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:15,332
But it's not a problem.
416
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:18,043
See, I know something
about societal psychology
417
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,045
that you three turd balls
don't.
418
00:15:20,211 --> 00:15:21,713
Everything's gonna be fine.
419
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:25,592
[ Sniffling ]
420
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:29,846
So...
421
00:15:30,013 --> 00:15:31,056
You guys about done
with the soup?
422
00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:32,849
Don't you like it,
Eric?
423
00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:34,267
Well, yeah, no,
it's great.
424
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,685
It's just -- well,
what time do you guys
425
00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,354
usually go out and disrespect
the flag and stuff?
426
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,397
- What?
- Oh, no...
427
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,316
Don't tell me you guys
already disrespected the flag
428
00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:42,859
and flipped over cars today?
Did I miss it?
429
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,486
What the hell
are you talking about?
430
00:15:44,653 --> 00:15:46,363
I told you
not to let him in.
431
00:15:46,529 --> 00:15:48,740
Please, I don't know what to do
with all this anger and hurt!
432
00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:51,117
I'm sorry your girlfriend
broke up with you, Eric,
433
00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,161
but maybe
you'll get back together.
434
00:15:53,328 --> 00:15:56,373
No, no, we've broken up before,
but this time is different.
435
00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:58,541
I can tell.
Something's changed with her.
436
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,251
Heidi won't even
answer my phone calls.
437
00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,253
Heidi?
Turner?
438
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,756
- The Turners' daughter?
- Yeah...
439
00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:06,800
I thought she was
with that Kyle Broflovski kid.
440
00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:11,763
- What?
- I saw them at the park today holding hands.
441
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,975
[ Upbeat, whimsical music plays ]
Kyle.
442
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,143
Kyle?
443
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,396
Kyle!
444
00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,481
Kyle, Kyle!
445
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,359
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle!
446
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,069
Kyle!
447
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:29,447
♪♪
448
00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:31,408
Kyle...
449
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:35,495
Kyle!
450
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,289
[ Laughing ]
451
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:43,586
♪♪
452
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:48,717
♪♪
453
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:50,552
Kyle...
454
00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:52,178
Yeah. Kyle.
455
00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,392
[ School bell rings ]
456
00:17:00,812 --> 00:17:03,148
Cartman: Kyle!
457
00:17:03,314 --> 00:17:06,484
[ Western music plays ]
458
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:08,111
I should have known.
459
00:17:08,278 --> 00:17:09,863
You lying snake!
460
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,406
Cartman, I didn't mean
for things to happen
461
00:17:11,573 --> 00:17:12,824
the way they did.
462
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:14,492
Did it bother you
that I was happy?
463
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:16,661
Is that why you took her
from me, Kyle?!
464
00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,246
Cartman, you weren't happy.
Shut up, Kyle.
465
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:19,914
All you did was bitch about her
all the time!
466
00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,082
You're not gonna talk your way
out of this one!
467
00:17:21,249 --> 00:17:23,001
This is the end, Kyle.
468
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:24,753
It's you or me!
469
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,838
- Come on, Cartman, I-
- You took everything from me!
470
00:17:27,005 --> 00:17:28,256
Stop it.
471
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:30,300
All you've ever done
is work to ruin my life!
472
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:32,510
Well, now I'm gonna
finally fight back!
473
00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:34,054
Fuck him up, Eric!
474
00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:35,096
Aah!
[ Grunts ]
475
00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:37,682
Fuck you, Kyle.
476
00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:39,350
I'm sorry, Cartman.
477
00:17:39,517 --> 00:17:42,437
You just have to accept
that Heidi's moved on.
478
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,692
[ Girls giggling ]
479
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:50,195
Guys, I just wanna say
here's to Heidi!
480
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,363
Welcome back
to the land of the living!
481
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,115
[ Cheering ]
To Heidi!
482
00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:56,618
[ Chuckles ] Thanks, guys!
Thanks for taking me out.
483
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:58,161
- This is really fun!
- No worries!
484
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,246
We're just glad you
finally came to your senses!
485
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,956
Yeah! No kidding!
486
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,500
We seriously thought you might
marry that piece of shit!
487
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,418
[ Laughter ]
488
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:08,755
Well, you know he -- he actually
had some good qualities too.
489
00:18:08,922 --> 00:18:10,548
Uhh, yeah, like what?
Racism?
490
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,258
Or the sociopath part?
491
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,803
[ Laughter ]
492
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:16,429
Yeah, I mean,
no offense, Heidi,
493
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,181
but what the fuck
were you thinking?!
494
00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:19,682
Guys, she's admitted
she made a mistake.
495
00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,601
You make a mistake
on your homework.
496
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:23,895
What Heidi did was more like
a momentary loss of all sanity.
497
00:18:24,062 --> 00:18:26,481
[ Laughter ]
498
00:18:26,648 --> 00:18:29,109
It was just
what I believed in.
499
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,735
Don't worry, Heidi,
500
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,028
we're not gonna keep telling you
we told you so!
501
00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:34,489
But we told you so!
[ Laughter ]
502
00:18:34,656 --> 00:18:36,366
The only thing
I wanna know is
503
00:18:36,533 --> 00:18:38,618
how did you bring yourself
to actually kiss him?
504
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,578
Girls: Ew!
505
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:42,997
Milly: Can you imagine? Eric
Cartman's breath on your mouth?
506
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:45,166
- Ew!
- Ugh!
507
00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,584
[ Imitating Cartman ]
Heidi, come here.
508
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,044
I want to kiss you
with my tongue!
509
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:50,338
- Ew!
- [ Laughs ]
510
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:54,134
[ Sad music plays ]
511
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:59,973
♪♪
512
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,432
Hi, Eric.
513
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:03,226
What are you doing here?
514
00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,146
I don't know.
I think I...
515
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:08,148
I just wanna make sure...
516
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:09,816
you're doing okay.
517
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:12,861
I want you to know...
I'll always care about you.
518
00:19:13,027 --> 00:19:14,612
[ Sniffles ] That's good to know
'cause, like,
519
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,156
nothing helps more
when you're down
520
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:17,448
than knowing that your
girlfriend who broke up with you
521
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,701
might care.
522
00:19:19,868 --> 00:19:21,578
I'm sorry
that I've hurt you.
523
00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:24,747
I think maybe I am just stupid
and I don't know what I want,
524
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,666
and it ends up
hurting people.
525
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:28,877
No...
526
00:19:29,043 --> 00:19:31,671
You need to know something,
Heidi...
527
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,506
None of this
is your fault.
528
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:34,966
- But I'm the one who--
- No.
529
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:38,636
Heidi,
none of this is yo ur fault.
530
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,680
There's stuff
I never told you.
531
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,432
It's time...
532
00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:43,600
It's time I did.
533
00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:52,108
[ Doorbell rings ]
534
00:19:59,490 --> 00:20:01,618
- Hey.
- Hey! You all set to go?
535
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:04,078
I wanted to talk to you
first.
536
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:06,080
Okay, sure.
537
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:09,334
Kyle, I've been under
a lot of stress lately,
538
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:12,295
and it was all making me
really confused.
539
00:20:12,462 --> 00:20:14,339
Yeah,
that's understandable.
540
00:20:14,505 --> 00:20:17,425
I was being manipulated,
and I didn't even see it.
541
00:20:17,592 --> 00:20:19,260
I never do.
And...
542
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,262
I don't think you saw it either,
Kyle.
543
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:22,931
What do you mean?
544
00:20:23,097 --> 00:20:25,850
I've come to realize that
it's not my fault,
545
00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,685
it's yo ur fault, Kyle.
546
00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:29,687
You made all this happen.
547
00:20:29,854 --> 00:20:31,814
- Made me question who I was --
- But, Heidi, I thought--
548
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,943
Shh. But it's okay.
You can't help it.
549
00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:37,570
It's how you were raised...
what you were taught.
550
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:40,323
My heritage is Irish,
so I'm prone to being moody.
551
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:43,660
And you're heritage...
well, you know...
552
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:45,495
You can be a little sneaky
sometimes
553
00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:47,205
and not even realize it.
554
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,085
I'm sorry, Kyle, but...
555
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:54,254
everybody's trying to live life
the best they can.
556
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:55,964
It's hard enough
557
00:20:56,130 --> 00:20:57,799
without your people
always trying to get ahead.
558
00:21:01,386 --> 00:21:02,762
Dude...
559
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,847
did she just call me
a dirty Jew?
560
00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:17,568
♪ Happy anniversary to you... ♪
Cha, cha, cha.
561
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:21,114
♪ Happy anniversary to you... ♪
Cha, cha, cha.
562
00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:24,575
♪ Happy anniversary,
Mr. President... ♪
563
00:21:24,742 --> 00:21:28,830
♪ Happy anniversary to you ♪
564
00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:31,291
[Applause ]
Congratulations, Mr. President.
565
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:34,502
Looks like many more years
of the same are to come.
566
00:21:34,669 --> 00:21:37,755
Oh, I don't think so...
567
00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:40,800
I think the next three years
are going to be even better.
568
00:21:40,967 --> 00:21:42,176
[ Laughs ]
569
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:45,263
[ Nervous laughter ]