1 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:11,512 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪ 2 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,431 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 3 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,266 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 4 00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:18,227 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 5 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:19,812 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 6 00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ♪ 7 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,817 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 8 00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:28,362 ♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ 9 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,158 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪ 10 00:00:34,410 --> 00:00:39,665 ♪♪ 11 00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:41,792 Welcome to Netflix. 12 00:00:41,959 --> 00:00:45,254 Last year, we approved 16 original shows and movies, 13 00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:50,217 and this year, it is our goal to make that number 1,087. 14 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,220 That's why we here at Netflix are thrilled to be working 15 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,515 with you two comedy geniuses, Terrance and Phillip. 16 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:02,229 [ Farts ] 17 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,856 [ Laughs ] 18 00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:05,441 Classic stuff. 19 00:01:05,608 --> 00:01:06,859 Now go ahead and pitch what you're thinking 20 00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:08,736 for your Netflix original series. 21 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:12,031 Well, we were thinking that we'd do a show 22 00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:14,116 where Phillip and I are on a farm. 23 00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:15,993 With a cow. 24 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,454 [ Chuckling ] Okay, I love it so far. 25 00:01:18,621 --> 00:01:21,248 The sun is just starting to come up, and then... 26 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:23,542 I fart on Phillip. 27 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:28,380 And I say, "Terrance! You farted!" 28 00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:30,049 And I... 29 00:01:30,216 --> 00:01:34,470 fart on Terrance. 30 00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:36,347 And then it's like a back and forth kind of thing? It's sort of like a -- 31 00:01:36,514 --> 00:01:40,434 It's like a back and forth kind of thing. 32 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:44,146 I fart on him. 33 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,648 He... 34 00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:47,191 farts... 35 00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:48,526 on... 36 00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:49,735 On you. Got it. 37 00:01:49,902 --> 00:01:51,278 No! 38 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:53,155 On the cow. 39 00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:54,990 - [ Laughs ] - [ Laughs ] 40 00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:58,369 Welcome to Netflix, you sons a bitches! Yeah! 41 00:01:58,536 --> 00:02:00,496 - Hooray. - Hooray. 42 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:04,667 [ School bell rings ] 43 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:08,170 [ Children shouting excitedly ] 44 00:02:08,337 --> 00:02:09,505 Come on, Tweek! Hurry! 45 00:02:09,672 --> 00:02:11,465 What's going on? 46 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,593 Cartman and his girlfriend are fighting again! 47 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,264 [ Cartman grunting ] 48 00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:19,765 God damn it. 49 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:21,058 - Sweetheart! - Piece of shit! 50 00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:23,894 [ Cartman grunting ] 51 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,521 Honey! I wanna watch "Terrance and Phillip" 52 00:02:25,688 --> 00:02:27,106 tonight with my friends! 53 00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:28,732 You promised we'd have a date night! 54 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,693 Ugh! 55 00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,278 It's just one night, babe! 56 00:02:32,444 --> 00:02:33,487 Stan is having a viewing party, honey! 57 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,697 [ Grunts ] 58 00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:36,198 So then why can't I come?! 59 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:38,117 "Terrance and Phillip" is guys' night thing baby! 60 00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:39,535 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 61 00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:41,203 What the hell are you all doing?! 62 00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:42,746 Watching Heidi get her bitch-ass kicked! 63 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:43,956 Fuck you, Wendy! 64 00:02:44,123 --> 00:02:45,332 Don't take that crap, Heidi! 65 00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,917 Let Cartman have it! 66 00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,753 Guys! Guys, this has gone on way too long! 67 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,756 Can't we all stop being so mean to each other? 68 00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:56,969 Shut up, Kyle. You sound like your mom. 69 00:02:57,136 --> 00:03:00,055 [ Laughter ] 70 00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,765 That was awesome, baby. I love you. 71 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,434 I love you, too, babe. 72 00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,227 - Aww... - Damn it. 73 00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,563 Fights over. Kyle ruined it! 74 00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:13,110 All right, everyone. Listen up. 75 00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:15,404 As you know, there has been a lot of bullying 76 00:03:15,571 --> 00:03:17,615 and insensitivity at our school. 77 00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,700 To counteract this, it is my firm belief 78 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,368 that South Park Elementary 79 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,205 is in desperate need of a strong woman. 80 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:25,998 So in looking for a new vice principal, 81 00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:28,083 we wanted to find a powerful, intelligent, 82 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:31,170 and independent female to be a role model for us all. 83 00:03:31,337 --> 00:03:32,546 And with that said, I'd like to introduce 84 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,381 our new vice principal -- Strong Woman. 85 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,884 [ Claps ] 86 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,053 Thank you, PC Principal. 87 00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,763 All right, everyone. Listen up. 88 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:42,556 I'm the new vice principal of the school. 89 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:44,600 My name is Strong Woman. 90 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,393 I've already spent a few days here at the school 91 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,229 watching and observing, 92 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:50,397 and we definitely have things we can all be working on. 93 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,607 Hey! Stotch! 94 00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:53,108 You do not disrespect Strong Woman 95 00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:55,402 by talking when she's talking. 96 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,363 You really think I couldn't have handled that myself? 97 00:03:57,529 --> 00:03:59,448 Oh! Uh, I was just making sure everything was -- 98 00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:01,700 You really had to grab the mic out of my hand like that? 99 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,202 Shit. I mean -- No, sorry. Sorry, I'm not -- 100 00:04:03,369 --> 00:04:04,870 Uh, here you go. 101 00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:06,247 I want the girls here at this school 102 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,873 to know that they can talk to me about anything. 103 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,416 But I also want the boys to know 104 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,752 that what I'm looking for is a better place for everybody. 105 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,170 Turning this school around 106 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:14,463 is going to take work from everyone. 107 00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:17,216 From everyone. 108 00:04:17,383 --> 00:04:19,843 I'm sorry. Am I not doing this correctly? 109 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:23,430 No. No. Sorry! I thought I'd add -- Just add for emphasis. 110 00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:26,892 You felt it wasn't strong enough, me just saying it? 111 00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:30,729 No, I'm -- Uh, I'm sorry. 112 00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:32,815 I'm looking forward to being your vice principal. 113 00:04:32,982 --> 00:04:35,484 And I'm looking forward to turning this school around. 114 00:04:35,651 --> 00:04:36,610 All right. Now, if we have any que-- 115 00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:38,279 I'm not finished. 116 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,655 Right! Oh, I'm sorry. 117 00:04:39,822 --> 00:04:41,615 Pay attention, everybody! 118 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:45,077 ♪♪ 119 00:04:45,244 --> 00:04:48,247 It's "The Terrance & Phillip Show!" 120 00:04:48,414 --> 00:04:49,665 On Netflix. 121 00:04:49,832 --> 00:04:52,668 ♪♪ 122 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,503 Hey, Terrance! 123 00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:59,133 What did the black lawyer say to the Muslim priest? 124 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:02,261 I don't know, Phillip. What? 125 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,060 [ Farts ] 126 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,395 [ Laughs ] 127 00:05:11,562 --> 00:05:13,814 [ Laughs ] 128 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,065 [ Laughter ] 129 00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:16,066 [ Doorbell rings ] 130 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,986 Come in! [ Door opens ] 131 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,155 - Did we miss it? - It's just starting. 132 00:05:21,322 --> 00:05:22,906 Oh, look, honey -- Kyle's mom is here! 133 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,533 Shouldn't you be at Temple, Ms. Broflovski? 134 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:26,869 [ Laughter ] 135 00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,370 Hola. 136 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,581 Would you like to buy some chimichangas? 137 00:05:30,748 --> 00:05:32,499 Sí, mi amigo! 138 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,294 Here. I'll give you two pesos. 139 00:05:35,461 --> 00:05:36,670 [ Farts ] [ Farts ] 140 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,505 [ Laughing and farting ] 141 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,090 [ Laughter ] 142 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,842 Dude, that's awesome! 143 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,887 [ Laughter ] 144 00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:46,597 Wha-What's wrong, dude? 145 00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:48,098 For the first time, I feel kinda bad 146 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,434 for the person being farted on. 147 00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,311 Ohp. Kyle's mom doesn't like the cartoon, guys. 148 00:05:52,478 --> 00:05:55,481 Better shut it off. [ Laughter ] 149 00:05:55,647 --> 00:05:58,192 Baby, I fuckin' love you so much. 150 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:03,197 All right, everyone. Listen up. 151 00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:05,199 As you all know, we've been looking for a strong woman 152 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,659 to take on the roll of vice principal at this school. 153 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:09,620 We couldn't be happier with the selection we've made, 154 00:06:09,787 --> 00:06:12,164 and we're sure she'll be making our school a better place. 155 00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:14,333 So with that, let me turn over the floor 156 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:16,543 to our new vice principal -- Strong Woman. 157 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:19,046 [Applause ] 158 00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:21,215 Thanks, everyone. All right. Listen up. 159 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,591 I fully appreciate that some of you 160 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:24,635 might be uncomfortable with me being here. 161 00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:26,804 Earlier today, I noticed that some faculty 162 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:30,224 weren't sure whether to call me Miss Woman or just Strong. 163 00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:31,809 If I were a man, you'd probably address me 164 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,560 as Vice Principal Woman, 165 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,937 so why would it should it be any different, huh? 166 00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:38,065 - We good? - M'kay. 167 00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:39,983 So I've been getting to know some of the students here, 168 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,360 and I'm definitely hearing 169 00:06:41,527 --> 00:06:43,070 a lot of frustration and confusion 170 00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:45,280 over issues that all the schools are facing right now. 171 00:06:45,447 --> 00:06:47,783 I also spent some time observing in the cafeteria 172 00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:49,410 and was pretty shocked by the abusive and intolerant language. 173 00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:50,661 [ Hootie and the Blowfish's "Hold My Hand" plays ] 174 00:06:50,828 --> 00:06:53,205 Not sure if any of you have noticed, 175 00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:55,582 ♪ With a little love ♪ but a lot of the girls are eating their lunches 176 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,875 ♪ And some tenderness ♪ out on the playground to avoid being around 177 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:59,169 the toxic environment that's been created. 178 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:02,005 ♪ We'll walk upon the water ♪ It's my intention to make the cafeteria... 179 00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:04,883 ♪ We'll rise above the mess ♪ 180 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,636 ♪ With a little peace ♪ P.E. class is another huge problem at this school. 181 00:07:07,803 --> 00:07:11,265 ♪ And some harmony ♪ The girls' gym outfits... 182 00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,016 ♪ We'll take the world together ♪ ...seem not to have been updated since the '60s. 183 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:14,977 We have a lot of work to do here, I intend to do it quickly. 184 00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:16,645 Excuse me. I-I'm sorry, 185 00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:19,690 but, uh, is anyone else hearing Hootie and the Blowfish 186 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:21,567 like very, very softly? 187 00:07:21,733 --> 00:07:23,652 ♪ 'Cause I wanna run with you ♪ 188 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,195 Yeah, yeah. I hear it. 189 00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:28,282 It's - It's coming from over here somewhere. 190 00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:30,409 Excuse me, everyone. I, um -- I need to get to the restroom. 191 00:07:30,576 --> 00:07:31,618 Sorry. I'll be right back. 192 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:39,460 [ Children shouting, laughing ] 193 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:41,420 [ Farts, laughs ] 194 00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:43,839 [ Farts ] [ Laughter ] 195 00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:44,840 Hold on, hold on. Over here. Over here. 196 00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:48,051 [ Farting ] 197 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:50,304 [ Farts ] [ Laughs ] 198 00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:52,014 [ Farting, laughing ] 199 00:07:52,181 --> 00:07:56,310 ♪♪ 200 00:07:56,477 --> 00:07:57,644 Join together, let no man -- [ Farts ] 201 00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,062 Ugh! 202 00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:07,029 ♪♪ 203 00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:15,245 ♪♪ 204 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:19,333 Man: That's it. That's it, Kyle. 205 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:29,499 ♪♪ 206 00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:33,931 No more. 207 00:08:34,097 --> 00:08:38,268 No more of them doody jokes. 208 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,729 No more watching cartoons of people -- 209 00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:44,483 people having to go doody, 210 00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:47,861 and poo-pooing on each other's heads. 211 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,155 It's not funny anymore, is it, Kyle? 212 00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:53,700 ♪♪ 213 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:59,206 [ Hootie and the Blowfish's "Hold My Hand" plays ] 214 00:08:59,373 --> 00:09:00,249 ♪ With a little love ♪ 215 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,084 [ Music plays muffled ] 216 00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:03,794 ♪ And some tenderness ♪ 217 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,587 [ Music plays normally ] 218 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,590 [ Muffled ] ♪ We'll walk upon the water ♪ 219 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,968 [ Music stops ] 220 00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,386 Hello there, Mister... 221 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:13,595 Principal, is it? 222 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,389 That's right. I'm PC Principal. 223 00:09:15,556 --> 00:09:16,932 What's bringing you in today? 224 00:09:17,099 --> 00:09:19,601 I'm, uh, having this problem with my ears. 225 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:22,396 There's like a persistent kind of a...ringing going on. 226 00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:25,315 Okay. Can you describe the ringing? 227 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,693 It's, uh, Hootie and the Blowfish. 228 00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,570 You're hearing a song? 229 00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,322 Yeah, um, [clears throat] there's a new woman 230 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,908 that has joined our faculty. Her name is Strong Woman. 231 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,451 And, uh, she seems to have set off 232 00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,245 some kind of device in my ears. 233 00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:41,248 So, maybe you're having some feelings for her. 234 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:43,166 No, that couldn't be it. We work in the same place, 235 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,918 so it'd be impossible for me to like her. 236 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,212 I'm thinking there must be some kind of device in my ears. 237 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,006 Well, I looked, 238 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,758 and Hootie and the Blowfish aren't in your ears. 239 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,387 I believe your hearing them in your mind and your heart. 240 00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:57,556 Oh, dude. 241 00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:59,141 Bro. 242 00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:07,441 [ Knock on door ] 243 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:09,359 You may enter. 244 00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,655 Vice Principal Woman? 245 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:16,283 Yes? What can I do for you? 246 00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,868 My name's Kyle, 247 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:19,870 and I've been doing a lot of changing lately. 248 00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:22,205 I came because I might be able to offer some... 249 00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,790 insight into our problems here. 250 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,876 Please. By all means. 251 00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:28,337 You see, there's a culture at this school 252 00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:30,130 that embraces meanness, 253 00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,799 and I believe now it comes from a Canadian TV show. 254 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,010 All the boys watch it. I did, too. 255 00:10:35,177 --> 00:10:36,803 We all laughed while they... 256 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,972 farted on innocent people's heads. 257 00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:40,515 The thing is... 258 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,601 I never felt for the person being farted on... 259 00:10:42,768 --> 00:10:45,103 until now. 260 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:47,189 I want to work with you to try open people's eyes. 261 00:10:47,356 --> 00:10:49,775 Because I get it now. 262 00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:52,986 You want to blame farts? 263 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:54,946 That seems kind of ridiculous, doesn't it? 264 00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,240 What? 265 00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:58,659 I mean, it's a slippery slope 266 00:10:58,825 --> 00:10:59,576 when we start pointing the finger 267 00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,536 for our own short comings. 268 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,747 But -- But I thought for sure you would be on my side. 269 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,249 Kind of sounds like something my mother would say, actually. 270 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,835 What?! Oh, forget it! 271 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,840 Cartman: May I have your attention please? 272 00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,634 Mrs. Broflovski, your tampons 273 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:16,927 are available at the front desk. 274 00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:19,096 Mrs. Broflovski, your tampons 275 00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:20,055 are available at the front desk. 276 00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,723 Thank you. [Laughs] 277 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:23,684 [ Laughter ] 278 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,478 Heidi: [Laughs] Come on. We gotta get outta here! 279 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:28,814 [ Growls ] 280 00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:32,359 ♪ Hold my hand ♪ 281 00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:34,444 ♪ Want you to hold my hand ♪ 282 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,571 ♪ Hold my hand ♪ 283 00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:37,906 You wanted to see me, PC Principal? 284 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:39,324 ♪ I'll take you to -- ♪ Oh, yes! 285 00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:40,742 Yes, Mackey, uh... 286 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,369 I just wanted to see how you thought 287 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:43,870 it was going with Strong Woman. 288 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:46,164 Well, she seems to be acclimating fine, m'kay. 289 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,416 The kids really respect her. 290 00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,167 Do you know, um... 291 00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:51,878 Do you know if Strong Woman has a boyfriend? 292 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:52,963 What?! 293 00:11:53,130 --> 00:11:54,339 Nothing. Just forget it. 294 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,091 Are you out of your fuckin' mind?! 295 00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:58,885 Askin' if a co-worker is available in today's times?! 296 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,304 I just wanted to know because if she's unavailable, 297 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,473 then maybe I can get my head off of her, all right?! 298 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,600 Oh, boy, this is bad. 299 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,769 This is real bad. 300 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:08,770 I don't know how it happened. 301 00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,188 I know it's inappropriate, 302 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,606 and yet I can't stop thinking about her. 303 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,275 I think I'm sick. 304 00:12:13,442 --> 00:12:17,237 Look, this is real fuckin' fire you're playin' with, m'kay? 305 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,364 I'm gonna get someone down here from HR! 306 00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:22,367 HR? Is that, like, Hootie removal? 307 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,202 No, Human Resources! 308 00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:25,787 The people that come in to make sure everything's 309 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,080 kept on the level. 310 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:30,333 We gotta get you back on track! 311 00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:36,590 Is Canada a bad influence on the United States? 312 00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:40,177 A group of young people called "Millennials Against Canada" 313 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:43,346 think so, and we are joined by their leader, Kyle Broflovski. 314 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:45,265 Thanks for having me, Tom. 315 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:48,435 Young man, you say Canada is to blame for most of our problems. 316 00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:51,062 All I'm saying is that there's a culture that originates 317 00:12:51,229 --> 00:12:53,106 from Canada which is at least partly to blame for the state 318 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,524 of our country now. 319 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,109 To respond to this, we're now joined 320 00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,944 by the Canadian Minister of Streaming. 321 00:12:58,111 --> 00:13:00,071 Thanks for having me, buddy. 322 00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:02,783 Minister, how do you answer to these angry millennials? 323 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,659 Well, they're pissed off because their country sucks, 324 00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,077 so they wanna point the finger at us. 325 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,871 I'm saying we're all guilty, too. 326 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,665 I grew up watching Terrance and Phillip, and I though it was funny. 327 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,210 So, you thought it was funny, but now it's not funny? 328 00:13:13,418 --> 00:13:14,795 No. It was never funny, I see it differently now. 329 00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,129 Oh, so you want to censor it? 330 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,589 We don't want to censor it, 331 00:13:17,756 --> 00:13:19,424 we just want to get rid of it! 332 00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:21,551 Uh-huh. You sound like a Jewish Mother. 333 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:24,387 Oh, see?! That's what I'm talking about right there! 334 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:27,182 That kind of mean, degrading, Canadian trash. 335 00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:29,267 Now, I resent that! I find that racist. 336 00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,811 Canadians should care about the rest of the world! 337 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:32,229 You are a racist, fwiend! 338 00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:33,772 And if you have a problem with Canada, 339 00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:35,023 maybe you should talk to your backward president! 340 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,691 - Maybe I will! - 'Kay, go ahead! 341 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,068 Maybe I know the president. 342 00:13:38,235 --> 00:13:39,444 Oh, sure you do, just like all Jewish moms 343 00:13:39,611 --> 00:13:40,862 because you don't understand how -- 344 00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:42,489 - Stop calling me that! - Can I finish?! 345 00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:43,490 That's all you know is how to be mean and -- 346 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:44,991 There's not a -- Can I finish please?! 347 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,618 Because you were all raised on it yourselves! 348 00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:48,495 Please, can I finish?! 349 00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:51,873 All right, I'm finished. 350 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,209 All right, everyone, listen up. 351 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,586 As you know we want to provide a safe work environment 352 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,088 for all our employees. 353 00:13:58,255 --> 00:13:59,923 Sometimes feelings do arise 354 00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,801 and we are tempted by the devil to act upon them. 355 00:14:02,968 --> 00:14:04,928 So we've been reaching out to Human Resources Division 356 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:06,638 as I think we can all use someone to tell us 357 00:14:06,805 --> 00:14:09,432 about what is and isn't considered misconduct. 358 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,142 She has some great advice for us, 359 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,395 so now please welcome Heather Conduct. 360 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,938 Go ahead, Miss Conduct. 361 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,023 Hello, everyone, my name is Miss Conduct. 362 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,859 I'm here to talk about making sure we avoid 363 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,820 any trouble at this school, m'all right? 364 00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:23,780 M'kay. 365 00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:24,573 M'all right. 366 00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,491 Now, by a show of hands, 367 00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:29,995 who's ever had inappropriate feelings for a co-worker? 368 00:14:38,587 --> 00:14:41,631 Well, hello there, little girl. 369 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,926 Are you selling girl scout cookies? 370 00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,512 Why, yes I am. How about a snickerdoodle? 371 00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:52,809 All right. You asked for it. 372 00:14:52,976 --> 00:14:55,353 [ Farts ] 373 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,938 [ Laughs ] 374 00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,273 [ Laughs ] 375 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:01,735 Oh! Oh, I think I shit my pants. 376 00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,695 [ Whistle blows ] 377 00:15:03,862 --> 00:15:05,739 All right! That's it! Everyone stop! 378 00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:08,199 We're shutting it down! 379 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,790 We are Millennials Against Canada! 380 00:15:15,957 --> 00:15:17,542 We demand this kind of bullying 381 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,502 Canadian entertainment be stopped! 382 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,713 Didn't think I'd live long enough to see 383 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,882 this all happen again. 384 00:15:26,384 --> 00:15:29,596 More and more millennials are turning into Jewish mothers 385 00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,974 today as they demand the censorship of entertainment. 386 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:35,977 The protesters say they're not giving up and are demanding 387 00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,813 to speak with the president of the United States. 388 00:15:38,980 --> 00:15:40,231 [ Cellphone ringing ] 389 00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,025 Here you go! Call is coming in on your phone! 390 00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,693 Good give it here! Yes, hello? 391 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:46,613 This is the leader of the Millennials Against Canada. 392 00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,907 Kyle, what the fuck are you doing? 393 00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:51,576 Oh, I'm sorry I'm taking a stand and doing something. 394 00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:54,537 I realize this doesn't gel with your nihilism! 395 00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,957 Okay, dude. I didn't want to have say this, 396 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:59,209 but you're really starting to sound like your mom. 397 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:00,418 I'm not like my mom! 398 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:01,836 I'm gonna make a difference! 399 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:02,921 It's gonna feel real good! 400 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,631 Kyle? Kyle! 401 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,132 Don't do this man! 402 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,300 You can't mess with this shit 403 00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,718 while You Know Who is in office! 404 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,679 We're all gonna die!! 405 00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:14,516 ♪♪ 406 00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:16,685 M'all right, so now everyone, 407 00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:18,895 we're gonna do some role playing, m'all right, 408 00:16:19,062 --> 00:16:22,357 talk about appropriate ways we can talk in the workplace. 409 00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,776 Can I -- Can I get a volunteer to role play with me? 410 00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,153 M'all right? How about you Mister, uh... 411 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,947 Mr. Mackey. 412 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,491 M'all right, come on up here. 413 00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,576 M'all right now, we're just gonna pretend 414 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:34,828 it's a normal morning before work 415 00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:36,538 and we're startin' the day. M'all right? 416 00:16:36,705 --> 00:16:39,249 Oh, Mr. Mackey, good morning. 417 00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:42,043 Good morning, uh, Miss Conduct. 418 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:43,378 Now did you have a nice night? 419 00:16:43,545 --> 00:16:45,755 Yeah, yeah, it was good. 420 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,091 M'all right, okay, well, good luck today, 421 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:49,592 and I hope that our working relationship 422 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:51,886 can continue be honest and straightforward. 423 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,889 Oh, I'm very open and honest, I promise you that. 424 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,809 I can see that, you've got very honest eyes, m'all right. 425 00:16:57,976 --> 00:16:59,436 M'all right, I probably shouldn't have said 426 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:00,770 "You have honest eyes," m'all right. 427 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,480 That's a bit crossin' the line commenting 428 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,649 on his physical attributes, m'all right? That's bad. 429 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:07,235 I'm gonna stick to just talking about work only, m'all right? 430 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:09,362 So, uh, Mr. Mackey, what methods do you use 431 00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,031 for counseling the students? 432 00:17:11,197 --> 00:17:13,283 Oh, I mostly use a semi-cognitive approach 433 00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:14,868 adapted by Kiezrick Solomon. 434 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,411 Wow, you studied Solomon? 435 00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:18,413 He was actually my thesis in college. 436 00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:21,124 Are you serious? Nobody I talk to has ever even heard of him! 437 00:17:21,291 --> 00:17:22,625 No! Same here! 438 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,669 What made you attracted to his work? 439 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:26,671 Well, it's just such a natural approach, m'kay. 440 00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:28,465 M'all right. M'all right. 441 00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:29,591 When I read it, you know, first, I was like, 442 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,634 - "Whoa, okay." - M'all right. 443 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,261 "This just really makes sense," you know? 444 00:17:33,428 --> 00:17:35,096 [ Chuckles ] Well, m'all right. 445 00:17:35,263 --> 00:17:36,848 Mmm'kay. 446 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:38,266 M'all right. 447 00:17:46,191 --> 00:17:48,318 Mister President, you need to do something 448 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:50,445 about your millennials! 449 00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:53,865 What do you want me to do? 450 00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:56,284 Terrance and Phillip are Canada's largest export! 451 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:59,162 They account for 80% of our gross national product! 452 00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,915 If your citizens mess with them, they mess with all of us. 453 00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:05,502 Look, I'm president of the United States. 454 00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:08,088 I can't get involved in every petty little protest 455 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,881 against a third world country. 456 00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,092 Third world country?! How dare you! 457 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:13,802 Canada is second world at least! 458 00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:16,346 Now, you listen here, Mr. Buddy! 459 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:19,349 Either you stop the embargo on the "Terrance and Phillip show," 460 00:18:19,516 --> 00:18:22,102 or we'll bring in our own troops to stop it ourselves! 461 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,271 Are you threatening us, you beady-eyed Canuck? 462 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,690 I'm simply telling you that Canada will do 463 00:18:27,857 --> 00:18:29,526 what it must to protect itself! 464 00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:32,695 Then I guess both our countries better be prepared. 465 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:36,157 [ Dramatic music plays ] 466 00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:37,700 And then, you know, I was looking for 467 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:38,785 something to get away from the city. 468 00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,203 I've never really been a city person. 469 00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:41,496 M'all right. M'all right. 470 00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,123 I definitely get that. M'all right. 471 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,207 I like hiking around, being around in nature, m'kay. 472 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,126 I agree, I agree, the city's bad. 473 00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,920 I love hiking, too. What are some of your favorite places? 474 00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,922 Well you know Mount Evans is always nice. 475 00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:52,132 [ Chuckles ] M'all right. M'all right. 476 00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,967 [ Siren wailing ] 477 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:56,302 [Alarm bell rings ] 478 00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:57,470 What the hell is that? 479 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,430 There's some kind of... 480 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,516 military alert going out. 481 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,518 All right, military alert everyone. 482 00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:04,853 Let's get to the hallways 483 00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:05,603 and get the students to the gymnasium. 484 00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,564 Come on. Let's move! 485 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:10,233 [ Helicopter blades whirring ] 486 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,694 [ Sirens wailing ] 487 00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,696 It's the National Guard! 488 00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:16,197 The National Guard?! 489 00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:18,575 It's the president! He wants to talk to you. 490 00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:20,535 Yes, this is Millennials Against Canada. 491 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,745 Yeah, listen this thing is kind of escalating. 492 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,789 You people need to call it quits. 493 00:19:24,956 --> 00:19:26,457 We can't do that, Mr. President. 494 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,126 Someone has to do what's right! 495 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:30,962 What exactly do you want? 496 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:32,839 What do I want?! 497 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,757 I want a world... 498 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:37,677 where laughter doesn't come at someone else's expense, 499 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:42,056 where people can live freely without fear of being farted on. 500 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:46,811 I want a world where you aren't ridiculed for trying to help! 501 00:19:46,978 --> 00:19:49,772 A world where a nice girl that I liked 502 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,066 isn't turned into another Eric Cartman! 503 00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:54,694 These Canadians are in the way of that world 504 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:57,280 and everything they do and everything they have done 505 00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,616 needs to be erased from the Earth! 506 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,036 Geez, I got a little chub. 507 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,705 [ Children screaming ] 508 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:08,666 Let's go! Everyone to the gymnasium now! 509 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,627 You heard her! Move it people! 510 00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:13,588 [ Screaming continues ] 511 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,215 I have to make sure all the classrooms are empty. 512 00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,008 You go take cover with the kids! 513 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,343 I'm coming, too! 514 00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:20,511 I'm your Vice Principal! 515 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,305 All right, come on! 516 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,059 - Oh, no. - What's wrong? 517 00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,144 Vice Principal Woman, I need to ask you something. 518 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:30,271 - Okay. - This is very difficult, but, uh... 519 00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:31,898 What? What?! 520 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:32,982 [ Clears throat] Well, as you can see, 521 00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,442 there is a door in front of us. 522 00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:35,818 Yes, there is. 523 00:20:35,985 --> 00:20:36,986 I would like to open this door for you, 524 00:20:37,153 --> 00:20:39,364 however I understand the gender-based biases 525 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,199 that this could imply. - Why do you need to open the door? 526 00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:42,742 I don't need to open the door. 527 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,244 I'd just be opening it and holding it the same way 528 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,079 I would for Counselor Mackey, a student, or anyone else. 529 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,497 Somebody's going to have to open the door, 530 00:20:47,664 --> 00:20:52,335 or we could die out here. 531 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:57,966 ♪♪ 532 00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:03,721 ♪ With a little love and some tenderness ♪ 533 00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:09,727 ♪ We'll walk upon the water We'll rise above the mess ♪ 534 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:12,730 ♪ We'll take the world together ♪ 535 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:15,942 ♪ We'll take them by the hand ♪ [ Missile whistling ] 536 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:21,572 ♪ 'Cause I've got a hand for you ♪ 537 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:26,536 ♪ 'Cause I wanna run with you ♪ 538 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,163 ♪ Yesterday ♪ 539 00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:32,917 ♪ I saw you standing there ♪ 540 00:21:33,084 --> 00:21:35,712 ♪ Your head was down, your eyes were red ♪ 541 00:21:35,878 --> 00:21:37,797 ♪ No comb had touched your hair ♪ 542 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:43,636 ♪ I said get up, and let me see you smile ♪ 543 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:46,639 ♪ We'll take a walk together ♪ 544 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:49,392 ♪ Walk the road a while ♪