1 00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:11,512 ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪ 2 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,431 ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 3 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,266 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 4 00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:18,227 ♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 5 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:19,812 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 6 00:00:19,979 --> 00:00:22,023 ♪ People spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ♪ 7 00:00:22,189 --> 00:00:24,817 ♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 8 00:00:24,984 --> 00:00:28,362 ♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ 9 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:32,158 ♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪ 10 00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,078 ♪♪ 11 00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:37,455 [ Thunder crashes ] 12 00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,248 CRYSTAL: [ Screams ] 13 00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:41,042 Mommy! 14 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,295 Mommy! 15 00:00:44,462 --> 00:00:46,714 He's gonna get me! 16 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:48,424 Honey, honey, who's gonna get you? 17 00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:50,593 The president! I saw him! 18 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,261 He's gonna get me! 19 00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:55,181 Crystal, the president isn't going to get you. 20 00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:56,390 But I saw him! 21 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,059 See what I told you? 22 00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,435 It's that liberal school she's going to, 23 00:00:59,602 --> 00:01:01,812 filling her head with all kinds of garbage. 24 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:05,066 Sweetie, the president is doing the best job he can. 25 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,859 Your liberal school is just trying 26 00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:08,194 to convince you he's dangerous. 27 00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:09,612 But -- But, Daddy, he's gonna -- 28 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:10,863 Unh-unh. No "buts." 29 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,740 The president is in the White House, 30 00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:15,451 not here trying to get you, okay? 31 00:01:15,618 --> 00:01:18,037 - Okay. - All right. 32 00:01:18,204 --> 00:01:20,372 We're having a talk with that school in the morning. 33 00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,000 Goodnight, honey. 34 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:27,338 [ Thunder crashes ] 35 00:01:27,505 --> 00:01:34,762 ♪♪ 36 00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:37,431 Hey! How are my approval ratings? 37 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,517 [ Screams ] 38 00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:41,310 [ Thunder rumbles ] 39 00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:42,853 REPORTER: And the latest reports are now saying 40 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,563 that over a million Canadians 41 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,774 were killed in the nuclear blast. 42 00:01:46,941 --> 00:01:48,901 The bomb dropped by the U.S. President 43 00:01:49,068 --> 00:01:50,945 took out the entire city of Toronto 44 00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:53,322 and fallout is expected to kill thousands more 45 00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:54,782 in the coming days. 46 00:01:58,661 --> 00:02:00,746 Ike. 47 00:02:00,913 --> 00:02:03,165 Ike, I'm sorry that I... 48 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:06,210 'caused a nuclear bomb to be dropped on Canada. 49 00:02:06,377 --> 00:02:07,461 I was just -- 50 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,879 You know, I was just trying 51 00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,756 to get shows that were toxic taken down. 52 00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:12,675 You know, those shows can be really harmful. 53 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:14,510 Oh, stop being a victim. 54 00:02:14,677 --> 00:02:16,804 Jesus Christ! 55 00:02:22,518 --> 00:02:24,895 BOB: What I want to know is what gives you the right 56 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:28,065 to preach your political views to my children?! 57 00:02:28,232 --> 00:02:30,401 Our daughter woke up with nightmares 58 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,778 that the president was going to get her. 59 00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,780 Just because two liberals happen to be 60 00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:36,282 principal and vice principal 61 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:38,826 doesn't mean you can brainwash my kids! 62 00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,703 Uh, we sort of have some bigger problems 63 00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,163 right now, Mister, uh... 64 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,206 It's White. Bob White. 65 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:46,709 You've probably never even heard of our family, huh? 66 00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:49,545 Well, the Whites have been here since the beginning! 67 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:50,921 Not that it matters. 68 00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,631 'Cause no one cares about the Whites! 69 00:02:52,798 --> 00:02:54,466 Sure, everyone else has problems, 70 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:57,261 but does anyone ever ask the Whites how they're doing? 71 00:02:57,428 --> 00:02:59,346 Mr. White, we assure you that we run the school 72 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,390 in a very... professional manner 73 00:03:01,557 --> 00:03:03,767 and don't let... personal emotions 74 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,020 get in the way. 75 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:07,938 Oh, sure you don't! 76 00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:09,315 You know how hard I had to fight 77 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:10,983 to even get this meeting with you? 78 00:03:11,150 --> 00:03:13,235 "Oh, who wants to talk to the administration?" 79 00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,820 "Oh, it's just the Whites?" 80 00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:17,072 "Aw, who cares about the Whites? They're fine." 81 00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:20,159 Well, we've just about had it you... 82 00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:24,788 ♪ If loving you is wrong, I don't wanna be right ♪ 83 00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:26,665 ♪ I don't wanna be right ♪ 84 00:03:26,832 --> 00:03:30,586 ...and, damn it, we won't be ignored! 85 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:32,296 I'm sorry. Is anyone else hearing 86 00:03:32,463 --> 00:03:35,966 "(If Loving You is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right" 87 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,676 Uh, no. Mr. and Mrs. White, 88 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:40,387 we promise that we will not let anything happen 89 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:45,184 that might bring the integrity of this school into question. 90 00:03:45,351 --> 00:03:48,062 Guess that's all the Whites can hope for these days. 91 00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:56,528 [ Thunder crashes ] 92 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:10,376 Hey! 93 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:11,835 [ Screams ] 94 00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,170 How are my approval ratings? 95 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,506 It's the president! [ Screams ] 96 00:04:15,673 --> 00:04:19,009 Wait, come back! What's wrong?! 97 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:21,387 Still no word from the president 98 00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:23,514 as his 'Splatty Tomato' approval rating 99 00:04:23,681 --> 00:04:26,850 drops to an unprecedented 3%. 100 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,811 This puts the president four points below 101 00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:31,647 "Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature." 102 00:04:31,814 --> 00:04:33,649 Meanwhile, the Canadian Prime Minister, 103 00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:36,777 Justin Trudeau, called upon Canadians to stand strong. 104 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:40,239 Make no mistake, America. 105 00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,658 If you do not hand over your president, 106 00:04:42,825 --> 00:04:45,286 there will be war the likes of which you have never seen. 107 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,289 Canadians will rise together. 108 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,041 I call on all Canadians here and abroad 109 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,460 to stand with their country. 110 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:56,297 The U.S. President must answer for his crime. 111 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,591 And only Canada can bring him to justice. 112 00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:05,306 ♪♪ 113 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:07,850 [ Shudders, whimpers ] 114 00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:10,561 There, there, Tweek. Everything is gonna be okay. 115 00:05:10,728 --> 00:05:13,647 I saw what I saw, Craig! You have to believe me! 116 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,566 What's going on? 117 00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,484 Tweek's having a panic attack. 118 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,862 It was real! He tried to get me! 119 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:20,863 Who did? 120 00:05:21,030 --> 00:05:23,574 The president! 121 00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:26,702 It's just your imagination, Tweek. 122 00:05:26,869 --> 00:05:29,038 It's not his imagination. 123 00:05:29,204 --> 00:05:31,373 I saw him, too. 124 00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,875 You saw the president? 125 00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:35,127 Out by the quarry, but I didn't believe it. 126 00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:36,920 I said, "How could this be --" 127 00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,340 The president? I saw him, too. 128 00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,675 He had a blue suit and an orange face. 129 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,677 He kept asking me, "How are my --" 130 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:46,388 TOKEN: "How are my approval ratings?" 131 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,974 I saw him, too. 132 00:05:49,141 --> 00:05:51,018 Dude, isn't this all really familiar? 133 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,394 I saw something just like this 134 00:05:52,561 --> 00:05:54,688 on that show called "Stranger --" 135 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,524 "Stranger Things." 136 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:01,320 "Stranger Things" is the show. I saw it, too. 137 00:06:01,487 --> 00:06:04,073 But wait, isn't "Stranger Things" just like that movie -- 138 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,699 Just like that movie "It." 139 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:07,576 You saw it, too? 140 00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,703 Yeah, I saw it in the theater. 141 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,539 I saw "Stranger Things" and "It." 142 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,293 Jesus. 143 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,754 I don't think anyone's imagining anything. 144 00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:20,631 I think the president is here. 145 00:06:20,798 --> 00:06:22,174 You kids get inside somewhere. 146 00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:25,552 I have to warn the town. 147 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,137 Ugh! 148 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:30,557 [ Indistinct chatter, shouting ] 149 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,226 All right, people. People, please. 150 00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:34,645 We need everyone to try and stay calm. 151 00:06:34,812 --> 00:06:36,355 How can we stay calm when the president's 152 00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:37,981 out there scaring our children?! 153 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,526 Look, we all want the president out of here. 154 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,444 It's just a matter of how we do it. 155 00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,738 I know you all want to get rid of him. 156 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,448 That's not true. 157 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:47,991 The Whites still support the president! 158 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:50,327 Oh, for fuck's sake, White, he's running around 159 00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:52,663 eating our pets and terrorizing our kids! 160 00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,581 You think Hillary would have been any better? 161 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:55,749 [ Shouting, booing ] 162 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,042 MAN: Just sit down, Bob! 163 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,169 I'm just sayin'! I'm just sayin'! 164 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,672 Listen, everyone. I have a team right now 165 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,465 that's trying to locate the president, 166 00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,134 and I'd like you to hear from Officer Bright, 167 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,094 who's leading the search. 168 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,180 Hey, folks. We know you're all concerned, 169 00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,641 but I want to assure you that we are doing everything we can 170 00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:15,185 to track the president down and have him safely removed. 171 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:17,438 Since the president was given a splatty tomato, 172 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,232 he's become very desperate and very dangerous. 173 00:07:20,399 --> 00:07:23,318 If you see the president, do not approach him. 174 00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:25,529 Do not try to reason with him. 175 00:07:25,696 --> 00:07:28,657 Most importantly, remember that this is the president, 176 00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:31,076 so you cannot shoot him. All right? 177 00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:33,370 You can't even talk about shooting him. 178 00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,830 Don't even... 179 00:07:34,997 --> 00:07:37,833 do any coy satirical takes on shooting him. 180 00:07:40,169 --> 00:07:41,253 Okay, good. 181 00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:42,880 What we're trying to do here 182 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,923 is just get the president to go away. 183 00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,301 We're gonna be handing out padlocks like this one 184 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:49,136 so everyone can lock up their garbage. 185 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,889 If we don't feed the president, hopefully he'll just move on. 186 00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,474 Are there any questions? 187 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,059 Can we talk about a friend shooting him 188 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:58,437 if it's in a sort of a sarcastic way? 189 00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:00,439 No, no, no. Now, it's - it's just best 190 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:02,649 to avoid that kind of talk altogether. 191 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,109 Remember, they can do to you 192 00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:05,486 what they did to Kathy Griffin. 193 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,321 Made her not funny for 30 years? 194 00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:08,906 That's right. 195 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,657 So best thing is just lock up your garbage 196 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,744 and see if we can get the president to go away. 197 00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,082 Jesus. 198 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,501 Now kids are going missing. 199 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,127 We're all gonna be missing soon! 200 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:24,588 [ Exclaims ] 201 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:26,381 Kyle! 202 00:08:27,883 --> 00:08:29,468 It's my fault. 203 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:31,887 Ike went to go take matters into his own hands. 204 00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:33,222 I have to find him. 205 00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,140 We'll help you. 206 00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:36,642 We'll all help you. 207 00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:38,519 Guys, this could be really dangerous. 208 00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,062 You're not going. 209 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:41,772 You promised tonight we'd have a date night. 210 00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:43,649 Darling, this is a little more pressing than date night. 211 00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,901 Oh, great. 212 00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:48,195 So, Kyle's stupid brother goes missing, and I get fucked. 213 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:50,864 How come I'm always the one getting shit on around here? 214 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,783 I don't need anyone to go with me. 215 00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,535 Oh, what's the matter, Kyle? 216 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:55,744 Don't want me around because you had the hots for me 217 00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,746 and I shut you down? 218 00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:01,166 I would never have the hots for the person you are now. 219 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:02,543 STAN: Come on, you guys. 220 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:04,419 Look, we all know what we're supposed to do now. 221 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,713 We all saw "It" and "Stranger Things." 222 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,840 We need to get our backpacks and go out to the woods 223 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,635 and save the town from evil to some kick-ass '80s' music! 224 00:09:11,802 --> 00:09:17,307 ♪♪ 225 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:18,684 Hello, joining us for lunch today? 226 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,310 Uh, yes. 227 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:21,979 We are here with our student of the day 228 00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,438 to reward him lunch 229 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,523 with the principal and vice principal. 230 00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:26,191 We have a reservation. 231 00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:27,901 Okay, last name? 232 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:28,944 Woman. 233 00:09:29,111 --> 00:09:31,071 First name. 234 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,198 Strong. 235 00:09:33,365 --> 00:09:34,783 Oh, yes, Strong Woman, here we are. 236 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,119 We have a nice booth set up for you. 237 00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,456 We can't keep doing this. 238 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,166 People are gonna see through it. 239 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,668 Is it my fault that I found 240 00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,503 the most amazing, perfect, beautiful woman... 241 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:47,546 at work? 242 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:49,798 Nobody will understand. 243 00:09:49,965 --> 00:09:51,133 Maybe they will. 244 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,926 We're co-workers who are in love. 245 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,470 You really think that's going to bother people? 246 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,141 Well, should we order now? 247 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:13,697 [ Whistles softly ] 248 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:14,615 RANDY: What are you doing, Bob? 249 00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:16,450 Aah! 250 00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,368 Have you been putting food out for the president? 251 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:19,995 No, I was just, uh, 252 00:10:20,162 --> 00:10:21,913 taking these finger sandwiches to the trash. 253 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,791 We all agreed not to feed him so he'd go away. 254 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,960 We didn't all agree! You all agreed! 255 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,046 Nobody asked the Whites how they felt! 256 00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,089 Nobody cares what the Whites have to say! 257 00:10:31,256 --> 00:10:32,841 Bob, come on. 258 00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:34,801 You have to know it's not safe to have him here. 259 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,054 In 2003, Hillary Clinton admitted 260 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:38,639 to taking funds for her foundation 261 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:40,432 from foreign diplomats! 262 00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:42,392 What's that got to do with anything, Bob? Come on. 263 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,186 It's fucking true! 264 00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:47,272 Bob, if Canada finds out the president is hiding here, 265 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,358 they are going to nuke us. 266 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,068 He needs to go. 267 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,445 Hillary wouldn't have been any better. 268 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,406 Give me the finger sandwiches. 269 00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,116 Fine! 270 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,035 Go ahead and take the White's sandwiches! 271 00:11:00,202 --> 00:11:02,537 They've taken everything else! 272 00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:07,167 [ The Chicago Bears' "The Super Bowl Shuffle" plays ] 273 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,294 ♪ We are the Bears shufflin' through ♪ 274 00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:11,505 ♪ Shufflin' on down, doin' it for you ♪ 275 00:11:11,672 --> 00:11:13,674 ♪ We're so bad we know we're good ♪ 276 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,051 ♪ Blowin' your mind like we knew we would ♪ 277 00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:18,470 ♪ We're not here to start no trouble ♪ 278 00:11:18,637 --> 00:11:20,263 ♪ We're just here to do the Super Bowl shuffle ♪ 279 00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,848 Dude, this is '80s' music? 280 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,226 Yeah. It's Pandora. '80s channel. 281 00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:26,103 Well, just skip to the next song, man. 282 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,437 We're trying to get psyched to destroy evil. 283 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,690 We need better '80s' music than that. 284 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,150 ♪ Gloria ♪ 285 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:35,862 ♪ You're always on the run now ♪ 286 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,908 ♪ Running after somebody ♪ 287 00:11:40,075 --> 00:11:43,453 ♪ You gotta get him somehow ♪ 288 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,080 ♪I think you've got to slow down ♪ 289 00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:47,916 Heidi. Honey, what are you doing? 290 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:49,584 This is the place -- 291 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:53,547 This is the place where I ended it all, remember? 292 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,298 This is where I threw my phone off the bridge 293 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:57,300 and quit Twitter for good. 294 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,678 I was so different then... 295 00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:03,098 so naive and hopeful. 296 00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,600 Yes, honey, now, can we get going, please? 297 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:08,353 I'm sorry! I'm trying to have a moment here! 298 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:11,732 This is where our whole relationship started, asshole! 299 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:13,650 Yes, it's very touching, sweetheart. 300 00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,318 I love you so much. 301 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,696 [ Quietly ] I'm sorry about this, you guys. 302 00:12:17,863 --> 00:12:21,158 I remember feeling like I had nobody. 303 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:22,951 Skinny bitch. 304 00:12:23,118 --> 00:12:26,163 We need to keep going, guys. 305 00:12:27,748 --> 00:12:30,250 Don't tell me you haven't gotten the president out of here. 306 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,085 We haven't gotten the president out of here. 307 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,795 And there's some worse news. 308 00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,714 A bunch of kids have gone missing. 309 00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:38,008 - What? - I think we have to assume 310 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,343 that the president has... eaten them. 311 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,012 [ Cries ] 312 00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:43,764 Why are you here talking to me 313 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,766 instead of trying to find the president?! 314 00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,852 Don't worry, we're close. He's out in the woods somewhere. 315 00:12:49,019 --> 00:12:51,396 And we've set up a fox trap. 316 00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,190 A fox trap? 317 00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:55,776 [ Mouse squeaking ] 318 00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:59,571 [ Insects chirping ] 319 00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:00,697 [ Mouse shrieks ] 320 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:02,449 [ Thud in distance ] 321 00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:12,626 Oh, Fox News... 322 00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,252 They'll listen to me. 323 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:16,254 They'll get my side of the story right! 324 00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:21,051 [ Imitates bird call ] 325 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:22,719 It's a trap! 326 00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:23,970 What? 327 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:28,975 It's a Fox trap, Mr. President! 328 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,144 Oh, thank God for the Whites... 329 00:13:33,355 --> 00:13:39,361 ♪ Hold on to the nights ♪ Ike! Ike?! 330 00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:44,658 ♪ Hold on to the memories ♪ 331 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:47,869 Dude. Come on! This is not kick-ass '80s music! 332 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,872 "Hold On to the Nights" Richard Marx. 1988. 333 00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,124 Do we really need music? 334 00:13:53,291 --> 00:13:55,210 Yeah! Craig just has the wrong stuff. 335 00:13:55,377 --> 00:13:57,087 Forget your Pandora. I'm doing Spotify. 336 00:13:57,254 --> 00:13:58,922 '80s music. 'Kay. There. 337 00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:02,175 ♪ I've got Pac-Man fever ♪ ♪ Pac-Man fever ♪ 338 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,635 Oh, yeah. That's better. 339 00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:05,595 Can we go please?! 340 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:08,431 ♪ I've got Pac-Man fever ♪ ♪ Pac-Man fever ♪ 341 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:10,809 ♪ I'm going out of my mind ♪ 342 00:14:10,976 --> 00:14:11,852 ♪ Going out of my mind ♪ 343 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,186 Kyle: Here it is. 344 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,605 [ Door creaks opens ] 345 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,274 Ike? 346 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,317 Wait a minute... 347 00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,528 Isn't this the place you brought me before? 348 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:22,821 The place you said your friends smashed your phone 349 00:14:22,988 --> 00:14:24,114 and computer...? 350 00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:26,408 I remember I felt so bad for you. 351 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,869 We used to sit in the park and talk for hours. 352 00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,787 How come we never do that anymore? 353 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,581 Oh, fuck. Here we go. 354 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,040 Here we go what?! 355 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,001 You used to be so nice to me. 356 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:37,419 You used to be nice to me! 357 00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:39,045 I tried! 358 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,547 But then you started rolling your eyes 359 00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:42,674 every time I tried to talk to you! - Ughhh... 360 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:44,050 He's not here either. 361 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,552 Dude, maybe your brother 362 00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:46,887 didn't even go looking for the president. 363 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,972 You don't understand Canadians. 364 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,391 They're fiercely loyal to their country. 365 00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:55,020 When Canada is attacked, they all join in the fight. 366 00:14:55,186 --> 00:15:03,570 ♪♪ 367 00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:11,912 ♪♪ 368 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:20,378 ♪♪ 369 00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:24,883 Randy! Randy! 370 00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:26,176 What? They got him! 371 00:15:26,343 --> 00:15:28,094 They found the president! 372 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,557 We found his hideout. There. 373 00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:36,353 [ Eerie whispering ] 374 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:38,396 Someone's gotta go flush him out. 375 00:15:38,563 --> 00:15:39,814 I'll be ready to trap him. 376 00:15:39,981 --> 00:15:40,899 I'll do it. 377 00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,150 Hey, hey! 378 00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,985 Just remember he's been eating animals 379 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:46,237 and living like a monster. Just... 380 00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:48,907 prepare yourself for what you're about to see. 381 00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:52,494 [ Insects chirping ] 382 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,670 Oh, my God! 383 00:16:01,836 --> 00:16:04,047 What the -- Principal and Vice Principal...? 384 00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:05,131 I told you we couldn't hide. 385 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,549 But... 386 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,259 But you two work together -- [ Gags ] 387 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:12,013 You two work togeth-- [ Vomits ] 388 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:14,724 [ Vomiting continues ] 389 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,018 Hey, what the hell's going on?! 390 00:16:17,185 --> 00:16:18,395 They're together! 391 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,063 Who's together? 392 00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,857 The principal and the vice principal! 393 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:26,820 They can't be together! They're co-workers! 394 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:28,613 [ Vomits ] 395 00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:31,574 Wait, wait. You mean he's actually her superior 396 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,952 and they were in there -- [ Gags ] 397 00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:37,706 [ Vomiting ] 398 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:44,045 Who would want to put their penis in a co-worker?! 399 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:45,964 [ Gags, vomits ] 400 00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:47,841 [All vomiting ] 401 00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:50,593 ♪ Playing with the Queen of Hearts ♪ 402 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,762 ♪ Knowing it ain't really smart ♪ 403 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:56,016 ♪ The Joker ain't the only fool ♪ 404 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,851 ♪ Who'll do anything for you ♪ 405 00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,561 Oh, my God! Look! 406 00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:01,396 ♪ Laying out another lie ♪ 407 00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:03,023 These are Ike's toy binoculars! 408 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:04,232 He was here! 409 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,692 Ike! 410 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,610 I remember this place too... 411 00:17:07,777 --> 00:17:10,822 This is where you brought me on Halloween. Remember? 412 00:17:10,989 --> 00:17:12,532 [ Sarcastically ] Yes, darling, wasn't it romantic? 413 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:14,284 No! It wasn't romantic. 414 00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:16,870 There was a witch and you had me dress up like Gretel and... 415 00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,289 [gasps] you were trying to get me killed! 416 00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,541 Sweetheart, you made me late to the pumpkin patch, remember? 417 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,418 I was hurt. - You were hurt! 418 00:17:23,585 --> 00:17:25,462 You were the victim. 419 00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:27,797 I'm glad you understand. 420 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,508 Who turned you into this, Heidi? 421 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,427 Shut up! Skinny-ass bitch! 422 00:17:32,594 --> 00:17:35,305 You don't know anything! 423 00:17:35,472 --> 00:17:37,348 Heidi, I think spooky walk in the woods 424 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:38,933 is making you lose it a little bit. 425 00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,018 Stan: Guys! 426 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:51,071 I'm seriously dehydrated and starving. 427 00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,322 I'm pretty sick of this shit, 428 00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:54,616 so you better-- Aah! 429 00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:00,455 Have we already done a search of this area? 430 00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:02,332 Maybe Heidi went there with her boyfriend! 431 00:18:02,499 --> 00:18:04,167 She would have called by now. 432 00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:05,794 I just talked to the McKormicks. 433 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,670 They haven't seen Tweek or Craig since yesterday. 434 00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:13,259 Randy! 435 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,719 Did you find anything? 436 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,641 Sharon...I-I... 437 00:18:19,808 --> 00:18:22,310 What is it? What did you find? 438 00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:24,729 The...There's... Ugh... 439 00:18:24,896 --> 00:18:27,065 Tell me! You have to tell me! 440 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,530 Oh, God. What did you see?! 441 00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,406 You don't want to know. 442 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:37,700 You have to tell me! I can take it! 443 00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,702 Did you find our son's arm? 444 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:44,207 Did you find him torn apart? What?! 445 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:48,920 The principal and vice principal are, like...together. 446 00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:52,132 [ Vomits ] Aww! 447 00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:58,096 [ High-pitched horn blows ] 448 00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:03,893 ♪♪ 449 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:09,691 ♪♪ 450 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:11,484 It's the president! 451 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:15,405 ♪♪ 452 00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:17,532 Ike! Kyle! 453 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,534 Stan, you're okay! 454 00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:20,994 Yeah, we're okay! 455 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,538 We got him. We got the son of a bitch. 456 00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:25,331 Get back! 457 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:29,669 Everyone back! Do it now! Get over here, family! 458 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:33,256 Bob, for the love of Pete, our country is about to go to war! 459 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:34,591 You wanna know where there's a war?! 460 00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,342 There's a war on Christmas! 461 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:37,886 Nobody cares about that! 462 00:19:38,052 --> 00:19:39,387 'Cause guess who loves Christmas. 463 00:19:39,554 --> 00:19:41,055 The Whites! 464 00:19:41,222 --> 00:19:43,057 At least this man's trying to save Christmas! 465 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,642 [ Muffled ] That's true! 466 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,769 He's not saving Christmas, Bob. 467 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:47,979 He's running around, scaring your kids, 468 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,772 and shitting in the woods. 469 00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:52,901 [ Sighs, sobs ] Come on, Bob. 470 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:54,903 What's best for your daughter? I mean, really? 471 00:19:56,362 --> 00:20:00,158 You piece of shit! This was all your fault! 472 00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:02,410 You controlled me and manipulated me 473 00:20:02,577 --> 00:20:04,287 and turned me into this! 474 00:20:04,454 --> 00:20:06,706 Baby, put down the gun, sweetheart, okay? 475 00:20:06,873 --> 00:20:09,792 I used to be kind. I used to be caring. 476 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:15,173 But then you -- you... 477 00:20:15,340 --> 00:20:18,176 No. Not you. 478 00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:21,179 Me. I did this. 479 00:20:21,346 --> 00:20:25,391 I let being a victim become a way of life. 480 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,686 If you always make yourself the victim, 481 00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,439 you can justify being awful. 482 00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:33,191 Eric... 483 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:34,692 I'm sorry. 484 00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,694 I'm breaking up with you. 485 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:39,072 Honey, don't be ridiculous. 486 00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,241 I've been ridiculous. 487 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,993 I have to learn to stop feeling sorry for myself. 488 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,454 Heidi, you are not breaking up with me. 489 00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:49,290 Yes, I am. It's over. 490 00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:51,542 I'm afraid I can't let you do that, sweetheart! 491 00:20:51,709 --> 00:20:53,962 Step back! I'll do it! I swear to God! 492 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,630 It's not gonna work this time, Eric. 493 00:20:55,797 --> 00:20:57,674 You break up with me, I will kill myself! 494 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,008 The choice is yours, Heidi! 495 00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,301 Come on, everybody! 496 00:21:00,468 --> 00:21:02,303 "Eric, we don't want you to die." 497 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:03,930 I'm sorry. 498 00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,265 You can be the victim. 499 00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:06,307 I can't. 500 00:21:06,474 --> 00:21:08,101 Heidi! 501 00:21:08,268 --> 00:21:10,270 Heidi, I'm gonna do it! Here we go! 502 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,105 Heidi?! Are you seriously -- 503 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:15,525 [ Screams ] 504 00:21:15,692 --> 00:21:17,443 MAN: He broke free. 505 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,446 The president is on the loose again. 506 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,865 He'll be even more desperate now. 507 00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:24,826 It's going to get worse. 508 00:21:24,993 --> 00:21:27,287 We can't destroy him, can we? 509 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,747 I don't know. 510 00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:31,666 I guess... 511 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:33,251 it's up to the Whites. 512 00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:42,552 ♪♪ 513 00:21:42,719 --> 00:21:49,183 ♪♪