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- (car horn honks)
- (indistinct chatter)
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MULLHULLAND:
Citizens of Denver,
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00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:19,787
we are in the middle
of an environmental crisis.
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00:00:19,887 --> 00:00:22,723
The winters are bringing
less and less snow.
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And now, we are facing a drought
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00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:28,529
due to the effects
of Global ManBearPig.
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- A drought?
- (overlapping chatter)
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00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:32,166
- What? No.
- ManBearPig?
- What? ManBearPig?
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00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:36,003
ALL of Denver's water comes from
streams up in the mountains,
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00:00:36,104 --> 00:00:39,740
but now, ManBearPig
has decimated these areas
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and wreaked havoc
on the upper mountain streams.
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And so, effective immediately,
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we are declaring a drought
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and cutting back
on all the city's water.
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- No!
- You can't do that!
- (overlapping shouting)
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What about our
homeowners' association rules?
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00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:57,958
Some of us are required
to have nice, green lawns.
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You expect us to have
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- nice, brown lawns?
- (overlapping shouting)
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I own 12 golf courses
in the Denver Metro area.
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You're not cutting down
on my damn water.
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Have you all forgotten
about the Pi Pi?
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I have Denver's
largest water park.
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All water parks are 50% pee
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and 50% water.
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You-you can't forget
about a Pi Pi.
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Nobody wants to lose the water,
but we're in a drought.
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- (shouting stops)
- MULHULLAND: There simply isn't
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enough water coming to Denver
from up in the mountains.
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And the water up there
is being used
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for farms and agriculture.
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What kind of agriculture?
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♪ ♪
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♪ Da, da, da, da,
da, da, da, da ♪
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♪ Da, da, da, da. ♪
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How's it looking?
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They still look dry.
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Okay, then I'm gonna
open the reserves.
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♪ If you ain't taking care
of business ♪
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This you must expect... ♪
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Yeah!
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00:02:01,222 --> 00:02:03,857
When it's wet ♪
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Oh, come on... ♪
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(laughing)
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Oh! ♪
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Come on ♪
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Oh! Yeah ♪
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Slippery when it's wet ♪
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00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:24,445
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo ♪
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Slippery when it's wet ♪
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Slippery, slippery ♪
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Slippery when it's wet. ♪
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♪ ♪
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(overlapping chatter, laughter)
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CARTMAN:
Yeah, and so,
and so then, so then
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00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:44,998
Clyde said that if a chick
uses hairspray,
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00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,934
you can actually
light her head on fire.
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00:02:47,034 --> 00:02:48,469
Nuh-uh.
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00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,738
Yeah-huh, Tolkien.
You guys want to see?
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00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,306
Kenny, do you have matches?
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00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,675
Yeah, of course I have matches.
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Check this out, you guys.
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- BUS DRIVER: Eric Cartman.
- (bus brakes)
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00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,352
Eric Cartman.
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00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,554
What? You're ruining it.
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00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:09,223
This is your stop.
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00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:12,960
Oh. Right.
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00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:14,962
Scuse-scuse me.
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Hey. Hey, guys.
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You want to come hang out
at my house for a bit?
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00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:28,476
Uh, no, that's cool.
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It's not my fault
that my mom lost her job
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and we had to move, you guys.
It's really not so bad.
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Uh, yeah, maybe some other time.
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CARTMAN:
My house is cool, you guys.
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00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:40,388
- Kenny, you want to come chill?
- I'm cool, dude.
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It's still way better
than your house, Kenny!
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'Cause your family's poor!
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Your family's poor, Kenny.
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Hi, honey. How was school?
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Fuck you, Mom.
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You doing anything, Tolkien?
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00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,454
You want to come over
to my house, play a board game?
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00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:16,023
Oh, um,
I should probably go home.
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00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:18,792
Well, okay, you want to play
a game over at your house?
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00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,894
Yeah, uh, I-I don't know.
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Sorry, I'm just...
not in the best mood, I guess.
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00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:27,301
Hey, are you still worried
about Karen?
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00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,569
Yeah.
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00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,103
Yeah, me, too.
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00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:31,739
But we all have to try
to just be happy, you know?
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00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:33,541
No matter what happens
with Karen.
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00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,809
You're right. Okay, come on.
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RANDY:
Hey.
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Stan, where do you think
you're going?
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I'm gonna go hang out
at Tolkien's house
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00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:44,585
for a bit, Karen.
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00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,219
No, you're not.
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00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,221
Yes, I am, Karen.
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00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:49,557
You better knock that off.
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I don't want you
playing with Tolkien.
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Karen, just come back inside.
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I've told you
I don't want our son
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hanging out with those people.
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00:04:56,964 --> 00:04:59,633
And exactly what do you mean
by "those people"?
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I mean traitors
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00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,572
who I hired to give my weed
more street cred,
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00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:07,307
and then go out and open
their own weed business.
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00:05:07,408 --> 00:05:09,309
You're not the only weed grower
in this valley.
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But I was supposed to be
the only Black one.
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WATER COMMISSIONER:
Excuse me.
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You the owners of these farms?
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I own Tegridy Weed,
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the original marijuana farm
on this street.
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Okay, and your name is...
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His name is Karen Marsh.
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You better get that fucking name
out your fucking mouth.
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Well, gentlemen,
I'm the Water Commissioner.
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Colorado Division
of Water Resources.
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I'm here to find out
exactly what's going on
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with the city's water. Weed?
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The city's water?
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Well, you see, the water here
is supposed to make its way
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to all the thirsty people
down in Denver.
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And, uh...
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Well, there's a lot
of thirsty people down there.
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I just want to see
how much you farmers
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are actually using.
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Okay, well, we can show you...
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Well, you should check
out his fucking farm.
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If you're, if you're gonna
check out anyone's water,
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it should be his.
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All right, maybe I'll do that.
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(car door opens, closes)
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(engine starts)
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CARTMAN:
* I live in a hot dog ♪
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On a lonely old hill ♪
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People make fun of me ♪
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And that's not cool ♪
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I'm isolated from my friends ♪
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Against my will ♪
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♪ My possessions
are now condiments ♪
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And that is not cool ♪
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♪ And I don't want
to live like this ♪
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You don't know how I feel ♪
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I've got no room to grow ♪
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And it is just so not cool ♪
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♪ Just once in my life,
I'd like cool stuff to happen ♪
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00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:04,792
♪ Everything keeps changing,
and I'm not adapting ♪
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00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:08,195
♪ I'm crying like a girl,
and it's super not cool ♪
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00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:12,199
♪ And I just want
something cool to happen ♪
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To me ♪
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I've lived through such pain ♪
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The word's been so cruel ♪
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♪ Something's got to happen,
something that's cool ♪
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00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:26,580
♪ I just want something cool
to happen... ♪
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This is it, right here.
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To me. ♪
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REALTOR:
Okay, right this way,
Mr. Cussler.
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00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,628
You are going to love
this property.
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00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:44,932
It's over 30 acres, and it's
in a real up-and-coming area.
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I think you could build
an amazing home here.
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00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,371
Yes. Yes, I believe I could.
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00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,907
REALTOR:
Now, it's about an hour commute
from where you are in Denver,
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00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,343
but I think the potential here
is fabulous.
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00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,113
TALNUA CUSSLER:
Oh, yes.
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00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,083
It looks absolutely ideal.
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00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:04,618
Do you like to entertain?
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00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,286
Because you could easily build
a ten-bedroom house
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00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,522
on this property.
You could have a dedicated gym,
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00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,057
even a full-size movie theater.
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00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,192
Full-size movie theater?
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00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:13,927
If you want, we can walk
around the property.
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00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:15,896
- It's a bit muddy, but we can...
- That won't be necessary.
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00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:19,299
I'll take it.
Full asking price. Cash.
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00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:20,801
Oh-oh-oh.
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00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,203
Da Da.
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00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,875
- (knock on door)
- Yes. Come in.
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Mom said you wanted to see me.
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00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,913
Yes, Shelley, have a seat.
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Close the door, please.
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00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:37,217
(Randy clears throat)
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00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,588
I've been, uh, wanting
to talk to you, Shelley.
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00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,122
Um...
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00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:45,926
Can you tell me why everyone
is calling me "Karen"?
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00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:48,929
Don't worry about it.
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00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,464
Well, everybody
keeps calling me Karen,
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00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,066
and I don't get it.
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00:08:53,166 --> 00:08:55,235
Is it, is it, like,
a joke or something?
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00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:58,939
"Karen" is a pejorative term
for a white person
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00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:01,575
who acts overly entitled
and demanding.
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00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,945
Okay, well, that's fucked up.
193
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,514
Don't you think that's
a little, like, sexist?
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00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,949
I didn't start it.
195
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:09,983
Well, who did?
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00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,184
The Internet.
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00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,654
So-so now somebody is a Karen
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00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:16,456
just 'cause they want
to be treated with some respect?
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00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,693
I deserve to not have people
walk all over me, okay?
200
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:23,030
I have the right to call
the cops when things happen.
201
00:09:23,130 --> 00:09:24,932
That's fine, Karen.
202
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:27,334
Shelley, I deserve to not have--
203
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,502
What the fuck is he doing here?
204
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,939
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
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00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:36,576
Excuse me, this is my property.
206
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:39,312
Your soil seems very hydrated.
207
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,014
Must be getting lots of water.
208
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,316
What are you saying,
that I use too much?
209
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:47,154
I use the water that my crops
need and nothing more.
210
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,857
Is that a Slip 'N Slide
over there?
211
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:55,262
That is an agricultural
Slip 'N Slide, yes.
212
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,798
Apparently, you know nothing
about farming.
213
00:09:57,898 --> 00:10:00,167
Look, if you have
any excess of water,
214
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:03,136
you might actually make some
money, that's all I'm saying.
215
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,172
Make money? Wait, what?
216
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,507
You heard of water transfers?
217
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:10,010
See, you have a lease
to use some of the water
218
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:12,279
from your stream here,
but what you don't use,
219
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,481
you could actually sell
the rights to.
220
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:16,717
I already talked
to your neighbor about it.
221
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,185
Yeah, well, see, the thing is,
222
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:20,120
this farm is about Tegridy,
223
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,855
not stupid water rights.
224
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,257
And if you want to keep
coming here and bugging me,
225
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,226
then I would like to speak
to your manager
226
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,961
because you are harassing me,
227
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:30,297
and I am important.
228
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:34,301
Well, have a nice day, Karen.
229
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,269
It's Randy!
230
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:39,673
I know what Karen means.
I'm not stupid.
231
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:43,944
(video game guns blasting)
232
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,146
What the water commissioner
said is true.
233
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,215
We have water rights
to use 10,000 gallons
234
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,750
a month off our stream.
235
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:52,652
If we could cut back our
agricultural water use by 50%
236
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,955
and show that our excess water
is making it down
237
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,523
to the Denver Reservoir,
238
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:58,125
then we'd have
the right to sell it.
239
00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,626
You really think so?
240
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:01,194
I was a financial consultant
241
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:03,330
before I was a weed farmer--
there's potential here.
242
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,265
But how do we
even prove the water
243
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:07,200
from our farms makes it
all the way to Denver?
244
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,902
- Raingutter regatta.
- What?
245
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,304
We made those little boats
in online COVID camp, remember?
246
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,007
Oh, yeah. I bet we could
float that down our stream.
247
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,411
We demonstrate
where the water goes,
248
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,813
and meanwhile,
249
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:22,082
we start selling off
pieces of our water rights
250
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,185
to subscribers that want it.
251
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,788
Boys, can you
build me a test boat?
252
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:30,057
Sure.
253
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:32,726
We're about to start
our very own...
254
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:33,894
streaming service.
255
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,428
Whores in this house ♪
256
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:37,564
♪ There's some whores
in this house ♪
257
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,900
♪ There's some whores in this
house, there's some whores ♪
258
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,502
- * In this house *
- * I said certified freak ♪
259
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:45,272
Seven days a week ♪
260
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,640
♪ Wet-ass pussy,
make that pullout game weak ♪
261
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:49,609
- * Woo, yeah *
- * Ah ♪
262
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,711
Yeah, yeah ♪
263
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:54,147
♪ Yeah, yeah,
you fucking with some ♪
264
00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:56,016
♪ Wet-ass pussy,
bring a bucket ♪
265
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,618
♪ And a mop
for this wet-ass pussy... ♪
266
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,754
TOLKIEN'S DAD:
The Credigree Weed
streaming service.
267
00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,122
We are currently in beta testing
268
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,057
to see if our stream
makes it to Denver,
269
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:05,358
but if it does, we are seeing
270
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:08,061
if there are any
interested subscribers.
271
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:11,899
- (overlapping shouting)
- * Give me everything you got for this ♪
272
00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:14,902
♪ Wet-ass pussy, beat it up,
baby, catch a charge ♪
273
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:17,871
♪ Extra large and extra hard,
put this pussy... ♪
274
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,406
Come on.
275
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,108
♪ Swipe your nose
like a credit card ♪
276
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,143
♪ Hop on top, I want to ride,
I do a kegel ♪
277
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,345
♪ While it's inside, spit
in my mouth, look in my eyes ♪
278
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,614
♪ This pussy is wet,
come take a dive ♪
279
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,416
Tie me up like I'm surprised ♪
280
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:31,084
♪ Let's roleplay,
I'll wear a disguise ♪
281
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,453
♪ I want you to park
that big Mack truck ♪
282
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:35,022
Right in this little garage ♪
283
00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:36,990
♪ Make it cream,
make me scream ♪
284
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,592
♪ Out in public, make a scene,
I don't cook, I don't clean ♪
285
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,895
- * But let me tell you how I got this ring *
- * Ayy, ayy ♪
286
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:44,097
♪ Gobble me, swallow me,
drip down the side of me ♪
287
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,133
♪ Quick, jump out 'fore you let
it get inside of me, I tell ♪
288
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,268
♪ Him where to put it, never
tell him where I'm 'bout to be ♪
289
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:50,170
♪ I'll run down on him 'fore
I have a-- ayy-- runnin' me ♪
290
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,839
♪ Talk your shit,
bite your lip ♪
291
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:53,907
♪ Ask for a car
while you ride that dick ♪
292
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,775
♪ You really ain't never got to
fuck him for a thang ♪
293
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,477
♪ He already made his mind up
'fore he came ♪
294
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:58,879
♪ Now get your boots
and your coat ♪
295
00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,513
For this wet-ass pussy ♪
296
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:01,849
♪ He bought a phone
just for pictures ♪
297
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:03,216
Of this wet-ass pussy ♪
298
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,085
Paid my tuition just to ♪
299
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,786
♪ Kiss me on this
wet-ass pussy ♪
300
00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:09,622
♪ Now make it rain
if you want to see some ♪
301
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:12,926
- * Wet-ass pussy *
- * Now from the top, make it drop ♪
302
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,562
♪ That's some wet-ass pussy,
now get a bucket ♪
303
00:13:15,662 --> 00:13:17,931
♪ And a mop,
that's some wet-ass pussy ♪
304
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,467
♪ I'm talkin' WAP, WAP, WAP,
that's some ♪
305
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,102
Wet-ass pussy ♪
306
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,603
Macaroni in a pot ♪
307
00:13:23,703 --> 00:13:25,105
That's some wet-ass pussy ♪
308
00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:26,206
Huh ♪
309
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,141
Whores in this house ♪
310
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:30,177
♪ There's some whores in this
house, there's some whores ♪
311
00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,846
♪ In this house, there's some
whores in this house ♪
312
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:35,282
♪ There's some whores
in this house, there's some... ♪
313
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:37,384
- Yeah! We did it! Yeah!
- We totally did it, dude.
314
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:40,387
As you can see, the water
from Credigree Farms flows
315
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,255
directly into
Denver's water supply.
316
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:45,192
Well, in that case,
I suppose all your subscribers
317
00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:46,994
get to have more water
from the reservoir.
318
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:48,495
Ah. Oh.
319
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,830
You all make-a Pi Pi so happy.
320
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:53,300
Now, my water park
can have a-plenty a-water
321
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,068
to mix with all-a the pee.
322
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,236
Of course,
323
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:57,504
you will have to prove
324
00:13:57,604 --> 00:13:59,239
that the flow of water
is constant.
325
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,074
We'll need a little boat
to come through
326
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,775
to the reservoir every day.
327
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:04,477
Every day?
328
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:08,115
Boys, I'm gonna need you to make
a lot more boats for my stream.
329
00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:10,984
How do you feel about...
20 bucks a boat?
330
00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,186
20 bucks a boat? Hell yeah.
331
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:15,488
We're gonna be rich, dude.
332
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,126
Mom. Mom, I need to talk to you.
333
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:20,527
Come on, sit down.
334
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,629
Eric, if you're going
to yell at me again
335
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,697
about our home, I really
don't have the strength.
336
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,099
No, Mom.
337
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,701
I'm never gonna need
to yell at you ever again.
338
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,303
We're gonna
get out of here, Mom.
339
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:32,339
What are you talking about?
340
00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,574
I've figured our way
out of this hot dog.
341
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:36,309
I don't know if you've seen,
but there's a rich guy
342
00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,011
building a big house
across the street.
343
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:39,913
We can live in that house, Mom.
344
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,314
We can have him take care of us.
345
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:43,283
Eric, how would we do that?
346
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,653
Because we are gonna get you...
347
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,655
fake tits.
348
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:49,522
What?
349
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:50,890
Breast implants, Mom.
350
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:52,325
That's what rich guys like.
351
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:53,593
You remember
what Matt Damon said?
352
00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,495
Fortune favors the brave, Mom.
353
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:57,464
When rich guys come up here
and get one look at you with
354
00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,166
your big, sweet tits, they're
gonna give us everything...
355
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,867
Eric, that's enough, okay?
356
00:15:00,968 --> 00:15:03,303
What do you mean it's enough?
I've-I've figured it all out.
357
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:05,172
Rich guys want a woman
with nice titties, Mom.
358
00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:06,573
- It's very...
- Okay.
359
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,841
Eric, I'm not comfortable
talking about this.
360
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,611
Well, I'm not comfortable
living in a fucking hot dog.
361
00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:15,182
We live here because I gave in
to you and quit my job.
362
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:17,050
What do you want from me, Eric?
363
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:19,152
I want you
364
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,355
to get breast implants, Mom.
(sniffles)
365
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,724
So-so that rich guys like you,
366
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:28,195
and we can go live
in a sweet house.
367
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:29,729
Please, Mom,
368
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:33,133
I just want you
to get fake tits.
369
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:36,069
Eric, even if I wanted to,
370
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:38,305
the fact is, we can't afford it.
371
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,873
A surgery like that
is very expensive.
372
00:15:40,974 --> 00:15:42,109
Like, how expensive?
373
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,211
At least $10,000.
374
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:47,247
$10,000?
375
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,881
Yes, Eric.
376
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:51,618
We can't afford it?
377
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:55,922
We can't afford it.
378
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:03,463
Chief.
379
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:05,698
- Chief, there's a big problem.
- What is it?
380
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:09,002
We've got a code red
emergency call on 911.
381
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:10,370
It's Karen.
382
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,173
Oh, not Karen again.
Jesus Christ.
383
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:14,574
(phone beeps)
384
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,576
Yes, Karen,
how can we help you this time?
385
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:18,845
Okay, first of all,
I know what it means
386
00:16:18,945 --> 00:16:21,314
when you call me Karen,
so you can just knock it off.
387
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,850
Secondly, secondly,
my neighbor's kid
388
00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,285
is over here at my house.
389
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:27,520
There's a kid trespassing
at your house?
390
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,589
No, my son invited him over
391
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,359
for lunch, and my wife is making
him hot dogs and tater tots,
392
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,327
even though I said
I don't want him here.
393
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,429
Well, then what harm
is he doing, Karen?
394
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,465
His family farm is shady.
395
00:16:38,565 --> 00:16:40,667
Did you know that they're
doing a streaming service?
396
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,335
I demand that you investigate.
397
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:45,138
How did they manage
to even show that their water
398
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:46,339
goes through to Denver?
399
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:48,441
Hello? Are you listening to me?
400
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:50,510
I want to talk to your manager.
401
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:53,546
I've already told you, Karen,
I don't have a manager.
402
00:16:56,383 --> 00:16:57,884
Thanks, Mrs. Marsh.
403
00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:59,152
Can you believe that?
404
00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,454
The cops aren't even
gonna do anything.
405
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,090
Oh, well, at least
you tried, Karen.
406
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,058
- (chair scrapes floor)
- It just doesn't make sense.
407
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:08,061
How is that traitor
able to prove his water
408
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,762
makes it down to Denver?
409
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:10,897
Well, um...
410
00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,632
maybe he got some
creative people
411
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,667
to put something on his stream.
412
00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,770
Yeah, I'll bet you he did.
413
00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:20,140
He's got to be paying
some expert or something.
414
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:22,975
Oh, if I could find that guy,
I'd pay him double.
415
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:27,347
Well, you know, at camp,
they had us build these...
416
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:28,715
little boats, that, uh...
417
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:30,550
They're kind of tough
to make, but...
418
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:34,454
I think that we could
make you something.
419
00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:37,757
And then we could float
the boats downstream
420
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:39,826
from the farm
with little Tegridy sails
421
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:42,929
on them to show people
where the water's coming from.
422
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:44,964
Could you guys build me
a test boat right away?
423
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:48,101
Oh, uh, yeah, we could probably
build you something, yeah.
424
00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:51,037
I can't wait to see the look
on that traitor's face
425
00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:54,874
when he sees that we're
in the streaming business, too.
426
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,579
Last night, I had a dream
that Ariana Grande
427
00:17:59,679 --> 00:18:01,080
was trying to fuck
her own ass with a gun,
428
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:03,683
but then she farted,
and blood shot out her dick.
429
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:06,886
(laughs) Ariana Grande?
That's hilarious.
430
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,126
STAN:
Kyle.
431
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,761
Kenny. You guys, get over here.
432
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,429
Sit down, you guys.
We need to talk.
433
00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:19,299
What's going on, dude?
434
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,468
Check this out.
435
00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:22,769
Where'd you get that?
436
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:24,604
Making stuff
for streaming services.
437
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,072
Holy shit. Really?
438
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:27,674
We made these
for my family's farm.
439
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,676
Then we took another deal
to make them for Stan's.
440
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,578
So then we went out
and offered boats to, like,
441
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:32,979
three other farms,
and now they want stuff
442
00:18:33,079 --> 00:18:34,314
for their streams, too.
443
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,249
- So, you guys want to help us?
- I don't get it.
444
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,817
You don't have to.
We don't, either.
445
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,319
You just have to make boats.
446
00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:40,753
But we want to keep it
on the low
447
00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,455
because we don't want
other kids copying us.
448
00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:43,856
Are you guys
gonna have Cartman help?
449
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,525
No. He'll fuck it
all up somehow.
450
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,993
Okay, I'm in.
451
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,470
(sighs) Fuck.
452
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:07,480
Faster. Work faster.
453
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,316
We need to be up and running.
454
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:11,184
WATER COMMISSIONER:
Excuse me.
455
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,486
Mr. Cussler, is it?
456
00:19:13,586 --> 00:19:15,322
Who are you?
457
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:18,691
I'm the water commissioner.
458
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,728
I just, uh, wanted to see
what you're up to up here.
459
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,796
I'm not up to anything. Why?
460
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:26,333
Well, you know, there's a lot
of streaming services
461
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:29,068
starting up
in this town, and, uh...
462
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:32,272
word on the street is you might
be trying to outdo them all.
463
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:35,375
They're all just
small time creeks.
464
00:19:35,475 --> 00:19:37,777
When it comes
to the Streaming Wars,
465
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:41,013
I intend to be
the Amazon... River.
466
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:44,384
Yeah, well, you see,
there's regulations,
467
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:45,885
Mr. Cussler.
468
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,455
There's state rules
when it comes to streaming.
469
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:50,523
And, uh, well,
470
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:54,294
if you don't follow them,
bad things can happen.
471
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:57,630
Is that right? Boys?
472
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:03,169
I'm not some pissant
little farmer, Commissioner.
473
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:07,540
You want to threaten me,
I'll threaten you right back.
474
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,842
I didn't mean
to threaten you, sir.
475
00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,344
In fact,
476
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,746
I think I can help you.
477
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:16,783
(school bell rings)
478
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,330
We've only got
20 minutes left, you guys.
479
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:31,564
We've got to work faster.
480
00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,132
I'm waiting on more
popsicle sticks.
481
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,034
Come on, Butters, you have to
speed up your station.
482
00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:38,738
I'm sucking down popsicles
as fast as I can, fellas.
483
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:43,743
There you guys are.
484
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,748
How come you're in
the home ec room during recess?
485
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:50,683
Are those popsicle stick boats?
486
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:55,087
Oh, yeah. We're just making
some popsicle boats.
487
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:57,557
We're gonna, you know, like,
race them, you know.
488
00:20:57,657 --> 00:21:00,360
You're gonna race
all those popsicle boats?
489
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,762
Yeah, just, you know,
490
00:21:02,862 --> 00:21:04,564
race them, see which one wins.
491
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,333
Right-right, fellas?
492
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,969
Oh. That sounds
like a fun activity. Um...
493
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:11,838
I was just gonna ask you guys,
494
00:21:11,938 --> 00:21:14,541
do you know any way
to, like, raise money?
495
00:21:16,476 --> 00:21:17,777
What do you mean?
496
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:19,178
We have no idea
what you're talking about.
497
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,013
Okay, I just...
498
00:21:21,113 --> 00:21:23,683
I need to try and raise
some money because...
499
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,452
my mom needs to have a surgery,
500
00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:28,588
and we can't afford it.
501
00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:32,825
Oh. Dude...
502
00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:34,961
How much does your mom
need for her surgery?
503
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:38,264
About $10,000.
I'm sorry, you guys.
504
00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:41,468
Just go back to your boat races.
I'll talk to you later.
505
00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:43,603
Cartman, wait.
506
00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:47,374
You actually can help us.
507
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:48,375
Yeah.
508
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:49,676
What do you mean?
509
00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,678
Look, dude, we're
actually making money
510
00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:52,779
for a streaming service.
511
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:54,347
- Really?
- TOLKIEN: Yeah, come on.
512
00:21:54,447 --> 00:21:56,315
You can help us, and we'll
cut you in on the profits.
513
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:58,385
Oh, my God, what-what
streaming service is it?
514
00:21:58,485 --> 00:21:59,819
It's a bunch of different ones.
515
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:02,021
Here, help me
cut out these masts.
516
00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:04,123
Okay, yeah, sure.
517
00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:06,626
And, Cartman, I'm sorry.
518
00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:08,695
Thanks, Kyle.
519
00:22:10,196 --> 00:22:12,231
♪ ♪
520
00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:25,111
It's a green boat.
521
00:22:25,211 --> 00:22:26,679
(crowd cheering)
522
00:22:26,779 --> 00:22:27,947
Anyone on the green boat
523
00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:29,649
streaming service
can have their allotment
524
00:22:29,749 --> 00:22:31,418
of water for the day.
525
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,252
Oh, here comes the white boat.
526
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,654
(crowd cheering)
527
00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:35,922
Subscribers to
528
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,557
Kush Country Farms
Streaming service
529
00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:38,558
have their allotments.
530
00:22:38,658 --> 00:22:40,126
Escusi. Escusi.
531
00:22:40,226 --> 00:22:43,463
Pi Pi's been a-waiting
all day for his water ticket.
532
00:22:43,563 --> 00:22:45,498
My water park need water.
533
00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:47,033
You'll just have to be patient.
534
00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:48,968
There's a lot of different
streaming services now.
535
00:22:49,068 --> 00:22:52,004
Yes, there's a-too many
streaming services.
536
00:22:52,104 --> 00:22:54,273
There's a streaming service
for this-a,
537
00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,476
and streaming service
for that-a.
538
00:22:56,576 --> 00:22:59,412
Pi Pi can't find his stuff-a.
539
00:22:59,512 --> 00:23:00,913
Why can't-a Pi Pi just have
540
00:23:01,013 --> 00:23:03,850
a one streaming service
have-a everything?
541
00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:06,052
Pi Pi got a streaming service
he like-a,
542
00:23:06,152 --> 00:23:08,220
and then-a
Pi Pi's stuff not on it.
543
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,523
Pi Pi so confuse-a.
544
00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:13,359
(scanner beeping)
545
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:16,929
Yeah, yeah, we're getting
more supplies now.
546
00:23:17,029 --> 00:23:18,364
You guys just
keep building boats.
547
00:23:18,465 --> 00:23:19,866
We'll be there fast as we can.
548
00:23:19,966 --> 00:23:21,934
Dude, I'm starting to think
we took on too much.
549
00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:24,003
- It's okay.
- It's not okay.
550
00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:26,005
We haven't even finished
Karen's boats yet.
551
00:23:26,105 --> 00:23:27,740
I do not want to piss Karen off.
552
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,842
Tolkien, I've told you,
don't worry about Karen.
553
00:23:29,942 --> 00:23:31,878
Everything's gonna be fine.
554
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:41,921
Hello, boys. That's quite
a haul you have there.
555
00:23:43,022 --> 00:23:45,492
My name is Mr. Cussler.
556
00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:47,560
I bought some property up here.
557
00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:49,361
I've been asking around,
and, uh...
558
00:23:49,462 --> 00:23:52,298
I believe you're the ones responsible...
559
00:23:52,398 --> 00:23:53,733
for these?
560
00:23:53,833 --> 00:23:56,703
- Maybe.
- Fantastic little boats.
561
00:23:56,803 --> 00:23:58,270
I'm a big fan of your work.
562
00:23:58,370 --> 00:24:00,807
I have a nice stream
going through my property,
563
00:24:00,907 --> 00:24:03,175
and I'd like you
to make something for me.
564
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:06,913
- Oh, we're-we're pretty, uh...
- We're pretty loaded up, man.
565
00:24:07,013 --> 00:24:08,447
Oh, I'm sure you are.
566
00:24:08,548 --> 00:24:11,851
That's why I'd like to make you
an exclusive deal.
567
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:14,386
I want 10,000
of your little boats,
568
00:24:14,487 --> 00:24:17,524
and I'll pay you $15,000.
569
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:19,659
BOTH:
$15,000?
570
00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:23,429
But I'm gonna need them
right away. Say three days?
571
00:24:23,530 --> 00:24:25,832
I have... big plans.
572
00:24:25,932 --> 00:24:28,200
Dude, we can't make 10,000 boats
in three days.
573
00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:29,902
We'll do it.
574
00:24:37,777 --> 00:24:40,613
Cartman, come on,
that looks like shit.
575
00:24:40,713 --> 00:24:42,048
Come on what, Kyle?
576
00:24:42,148 --> 00:24:43,415
Look, I-I know we're making
a lot of these,
577
00:24:43,516 --> 00:24:46,118
but we still have to
make them look nice.
578
00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:48,220
- Does it really matter?
- Yes, it matters.
579
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,222
The streaming services
are paying for nice boats.
580
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:51,991
BUTTERS:
(laughs) They don't
give a fuck, Kyle.
581
00:24:52,091 --> 00:24:54,260
They're gonna take
everything they can get.
582
00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:55,995
Everyone knows,
at the end of the day,
583
00:24:56,095 --> 00:24:58,565
there's only gonna be, like,
three streaming services,
584
00:24:58,665 --> 00:25:00,567
so they, like, everyone
just wants to have their shit
585
00:25:00,667 --> 00:25:03,035
on their stream
and get bought out, you know?
586
00:25:03,135 --> 00:25:05,471
And they don't give a fuck
how good anything is.
587
00:25:05,572 --> 00:25:08,207
And the people who made all the
deals, they don't give a fuck
588
00:25:08,307 --> 00:25:10,810
'cause they're all gonna get
fired anyway, you know?
589
00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:12,344
And everyone working
at this streaming service
590
00:25:12,444 --> 00:25:14,346
is now working over
at that streaming service.
591
00:25:14,446 --> 00:25:17,249
No one gives a shit about
what fucking goes on in it.
592
00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:19,351
Butters, I-I think you've had
too many popsicles.
593
00:25:19,451 --> 00:25:21,821
Yeah, I think maybe I've had
one too many popsicles.
594
00:25:21,921 --> 00:25:22,889
(door opens)
595
00:25:22,989 --> 00:25:25,491
You guys, you guys, we did it.
596
00:25:25,592 --> 00:25:26,793
KENNY:
What'd we do?
597
00:25:26,893 --> 00:25:29,996
We just got an offer
for 10,000 boats.
598
00:25:30,096 --> 00:25:31,931
It's $15,000, you guys.
599
00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:33,833
That's almost $3,000 each.
600
00:25:33,933 --> 00:25:36,335
- We're millionaires!
- Whoo-hoo!
601
00:25:36,435 --> 00:25:39,906
Hey, hey, aren't you guys
forgetting something?
602
00:25:40,006 --> 00:25:42,274
Cartman's mom's surgery?
603
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:43,910
Oh, right.
604
00:25:44,010 --> 00:25:46,012
Well, what do you say, guys?
605
00:25:46,112 --> 00:25:47,780
With this money,
before we do anything,
606
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:49,215
we pay for Cartman's
mom's surgery.
607
00:25:49,315 --> 00:25:51,183
You definitely have
my share, Eric.
608
00:25:51,283 --> 00:25:51,984
Mine, too.
609
00:25:52,084 --> 00:25:54,453
I really...
610
00:25:54,553 --> 00:25:57,189
really... don't fucking
deserve you guys.
611
00:25:57,289 --> 00:25:59,025
Come on, let's get to work.
612
00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:11,604
(water pipes creaking)
613
00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:17,443
NEWS REPORTER (over TV):
Just how bad could
the water situation get
614
00:26:17,543 --> 00:26:19,912
for Park County farmers
this summer?
615
00:26:20,012 --> 00:26:21,714
A new study says
this year's snowpack
616
00:26:21,814 --> 00:26:24,617
has almost completely
melted, and, once again,
617
00:26:24,717 --> 00:26:26,285
ManBearPig is to blame.
618
00:26:26,385 --> 00:26:28,721
That's right, Tom.
It appears ManBearPig
619
00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:32,759
has done a lot more damage this
year than originally predicted.
620
00:26:32,859 --> 00:26:34,560
As the spring thaws continue,
621
00:26:34,661 --> 00:26:36,328
we simply aren't seeing
that much water
622
00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:39,065
from way up
on the mountain peaks.
623
00:26:39,165 --> 00:26:41,233
If ManBearPig
is truly out there,
624
00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:43,435
then farmers might want
to start looking
625
00:26:43,535 --> 00:26:46,405
at the state
of that snowpack, Tom.
626
00:27:02,088 --> 00:27:04,323
♪ ♪
627
00:27:26,846 --> 00:27:29,081
♪ ♪
628
00:27:52,705 --> 00:27:54,774
Over here.
629
00:27:54,874 --> 00:27:57,109
Here!
630
00:27:57,209 --> 00:28:00,112
What is all this? What happened?
631
00:28:00,212 --> 00:28:02,749
The housing market up here...
632
00:28:02,849 --> 00:28:04,150
it went crazy.
633
00:28:04,250 --> 00:28:06,118
We've just been
selling properties
634
00:28:06,218 --> 00:28:08,120
without sleeping or eating.
635
00:28:08,220 --> 00:28:10,589
This property here
was the last to get an offer.
636
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:12,524
The seller countered,
but we haven't heard back,
637
00:28:12,624 --> 00:28:14,126
and it's really
a buyer's market.
638
00:28:14,226 --> 00:28:15,361
Who's buying it all?
639
00:28:15,461 --> 00:28:17,930
Some rich guy from the city.
640
00:28:18,030 --> 00:28:19,531
(coughs)
641
00:28:19,631 --> 00:28:21,533
But we are currently
taking backup offers,
642
00:28:21,633 --> 00:28:23,535
if you'd like.
Do you have a broker?
643
00:28:23,635 --> 00:28:26,172
We are really the best in town.
My coworker Janice
644
00:28:26,272 --> 00:28:29,241
sold over 100 listings
in 72 hours.
645
00:28:31,077 --> 00:28:32,178
Look at this.
646
00:28:32,278 --> 00:28:34,646
They were right
about ManBearPig.
647
00:28:34,747 --> 00:28:36,916
There's not nearly
as much snow as last year.
648
00:28:37,016 --> 00:28:40,086
Yeah. There's a lot
you can do with this property.
649
00:28:40,186 --> 00:28:41,988
It has explosive views
650
00:28:42,088 --> 00:28:44,290
and a southern exposure
for those chilly winter nights.
651
00:28:44,390 --> 00:28:46,258
You can't sell
all the land up here.
652
00:28:46,358 --> 00:28:47,994
Can't you see
they just want the water?
653
00:28:48,094 --> 00:28:51,663
That's probably why they asked
for the inspection contingency.
654
00:28:51,764 --> 00:28:53,532
We countered
with an extra 20 days
655
00:28:53,632 --> 00:28:56,268
until close of escrow.
(chuckles) We got them.
656
00:28:56,368 --> 00:28:58,104
There's no snow up here.
657
00:28:58,204 --> 00:28:59,906
There won't be enough water
for South Park.
658
00:29:00,006 --> 00:29:02,341
You...
659
00:29:02,441 --> 00:29:04,343
You could have
a walkout basement here
660
00:29:04,443 --> 00:29:06,445
with room
for an outdoor kitchen.
661
00:29:07,746 --> 00:29:11,183
Think of
the entertaining potential.
662
00:29:11,283 --> 00:29:13,452
Do you like to entertain?
663
00:29:24,463 --> 00:29:26,498
(yawns)
664
00:29:29,235 --> 00:29:31,470
(chickens clucking)
665
00:29:43,315 --> 00:29:45,551
(water rushing)
666
00:30:02,768 --> 00:30:05,304
"Cussler Industries"?
667
00:30:07,573 --> 00:30:09,775
Huh? Huh?
668
00:30:09,876 --> 00:30:12,111
Oh!
669
00:30:36,235 --> 00:30:38,470
♪ ♪
670
00:30:43,976 --> 00:30:46,512
My streaming service!
671
00:30:51,483 --> 00:30:53,785
Happy surprise time ♪
672
00:30:53,886 --> 00:30:55,487
To you ♪
673
00:30:55,587 --> 00:30:58,824
♪ Something's happened
that's cool... ♪
674
00:30:58,925 --> 00:31:00,426
What is this, Eric?
675
00:31:00,526 --> 00:31:03,529
Just sit down right here ♪
676
00:31:03,629 --> 00:31:06,999
♪ Your son has done
something cool. ♪
677
00:31:07,099 --> 00:31:08,267
Are you ready, Mom?
678
00:31:08,367 --> 00:31:10,903
(giggles) Yes.
What is it, sweetie?
679
00:31:13,805 --> 00:31:16,408
- Wait a minute, Eric, what is this?
- (door opens)
680
00:31:16,508 --> 00:31:19,845
Okay, hello, Mrs. Cartman.
I'm Dr. Stevens.
681
00:31:19,946 --> 00:31:22,814
I understand you're interested
in breast augmentation?
682
00:31:22,915 --> 00:31:24,250
That's right, she is.
683
00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:26,452
Well, there are a few options.
684
00:31:26,552 --> 00:31:28,620
We prefer
the saline implants now.
685
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:30,389
They-they can be put
either under
686
00:31:30,489 --> 00:31:32,124
the chest muscle or on top.
687
00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:34,994
Did you have any idea what size
breasts you wanted to achieve?
688
00:31:35,094 --> 00:31:36,628
The largest size.
689
00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:39,431
Eric, I've told you
a hundred times,
690
00:31:39,531 --> 00:31:41,567
I'm not getting a boob job.
691
00:31:41,667 --> 00:31:45,404
Uh, I'm a bit confused here,
Mrs. Cartman.
692
00:31:45,504 --> 00:31:48,474
Your procedure has already been
completely paid for.
693
00:31:48,574 --> 00:31:51,210
- What?
- Surprise!
694
00:31:51,310 --> 00:31:53,479
I raised all the money, Mom.
It's done.
695
00:31:53,579 --> 00:31:57,349
No, Eric. I said
I don't want breast implants.
696
00:31:57,449 --> 00:31:58,850
You said we couldn't afford it.
697
00:31:58,951 --> 00:32:00,452
I went out,
and I worked every day,
698
00:32:00,552 --> 00:32:02,388
and I got you the money
for new tits, Mom.
699
00:32:02,488 --> 00:32:04,957
I'm fine with my body
the way it is.
700
00:32:05,057 --> 00:32:07,826
You are, but rich guys aren't.
Am I right, Doctor?
701
00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:09,895
Okay, uh, Mrs. Cartman,
702
00:32:09,996 --> 00:32:12,531
if you'd like to just go back
up to the front office,
703
00:32:12,631 --> 00:32:14,266
they can refund all the money.
704
00:32:14,366 --> 00:32:18,037
No! No, Doctor, please,
I live in a hot dog!
705
00:32:18,137 --> 00:32:20,306
Because he made me quit my job,
706
00:32:20,406 --> 00:32:21,773
and I promised myself
707
00:32:21,873 --> 00:32:24,343
I wouldn't give in
to him ever again.
708
00:32:24,443 --> 00:32:27,513
Get fake tits or else
I'll call the police, Mom.
709
00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:30,082
Do what you want, Eric.
I am done with this.
710
00:32:30,182 --> 00:32:31,483
Fine, then I'll run away.
711
00:32:31,583 --> 00:32:33,419
You'll just have
to run away, then.
712
00:32:33,519 --> 00:32:34,720
I'll go live with Grandma.
713
00:32:34,820 --> 00:32:37,156
I'm sure Grandma
would love that.
714
00:32:38,090 --> 00:32:40,792
I've given in to you
too many times, Eric.
715
00:32:40,892 --> 00:32:42,594
It stops now.
716
00:32:42,694 --> 00:32:45,564
You're not gonna give in, huh?
We'll just see about that.
717
00:32:45,664 --> 00:32:49,301
Doctor, keep those tits on ice.
718
00:32:51,370 --> 00:32:52,971
(door opens)
719
00:32:53,072 --> 00:32:54,606
(door closes)
720
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:02,914
What is that?
721
00:33:03,015 --> 00:33:06,585
It's... it's a little boat.
722
00:33:06,685 --> 00:33:09,155
Stan, are you making stuff
723
00:33:09,255 --> 00:33:11,423
for other streaming services?
724
00:33:12,624 --> 00:33:15,127
Stanley? We had a deal.
725
00:33:15,227 --> 00:33:18,330
Are you making stuff for other
streaming services, yes or no?
726
00:33:18,430 --> 00:33:21,300
Yes. This guy paid us
a shitload of money.
727
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:22,968
I paid you a shitload of money.
728
00:33:23,069 --> 00:33:24,803
Yeah, we make them
for whoever pays us.
729
00:33:24,903 --> 00:33:26,738
We make stuff
for Credigree, too.
730
00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:28,307
For Credigree?
731
00:33:28,407 --> 00:33:30,242
They're the enemy, Stan.
732
00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:31,710
You live here.
733
00:33:31,810 --> 00:33:34,046
You're exclusive
to Tegridy Weed.
734
00:33:34,146 --> 00:33:36,482
(scoffs) Everyone is fighting
and trying to get rich,
735
00:33:36,582 --> 00:33:38,184
and we're just in the middle
doing our thing.
736
00:33:38,284 --> 00:33:40,419
Doing your thing. Wow.
737
00:33:40,519 --> 00:33:42,121
You're a fucking dick.
738
00:33:42,221 --> 00:33:43,989
How much money's enough, Stan?
739
00:33:44,090 --> 00:33:45,291
Cock-sucking cunt.
740
00:33:45,391 --> 00:33:47,426
- What is going on?
- Oh, nothing.
741
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:49,695
Your son and his friends
just made exclusive deals
742
00:33:49,795 --> 00:33:51,797
for multiple streaming services.
743
00:33:51,897 --> 00:33:52,931
Ugh.
744
00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:54,500
Oh, but I guess
that's just Karen
745
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,268
being Karen again, huh?
746
00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:58,470
Yeah, screw whatever
Karen thinks.
747
00:33:58,570 --> 00:34:01,973
Maybe it's bad for business,
but fuck Karen.
748
00:34:02,074 --> 00:34:03,742
Okay, I'm sorry.
749
00:34:03,842 --> 00:34:06,478
We're going to march right over
to where this guy lives,
750
00:34:06,578 --> 00:34:08,480
and tell him that
you can't possibly take on
751
00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:10,582
another streaming service
without sacrificing
752
00:34:10,682 --> 00:34:13,819
- the quality of your product.
- Rats.
753
00:34:19,558 --> 00:34:21,093
(clears throat)
754
00:34:30,536 --> 00:34:33,472
Well, Mom, I guess
I'll be leaving now.
755
00:34:33,572 --> 00:34:35,574
Oh, really? Where are you going?
756
00:34:35,674 --> 00:34:37,309
I can't do this anymore, Mom.
757
00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:39,845
If you won't listen to me, then
I really don't have a choice.
758
00:34:39,945 --> 00:34:42,381
Well, I'm very sorry
to hear that, Eric.
759
00:34:42,481 --> 00:34:44,816
I hope you take
good care of yourself.
760
00:34:45,817 --> 00:34:47,986
Okay, well, I guess I'll just
ask you one more time
761
00:34:48,086 --> 00:34:49,821
if you would please
get fake tits. I know...
762
00:34:49,921 --> 00:34:52,558
I'm not getting
breast implants, Eric.
763
00:34:52,658 --> 00:34:54,160
Okay, that's fine.
764
00:34:54,260 --> 00:34:55,561
So, you're running away?
765
00:34:55,661 --> 00:34:57,329
Oh, I'm not running away, Mom.
766
00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:58,997
No, that would be
the easy way out.
767
00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:00,799
You remember when
I told you how easy
768
00:35:00,899 --> 00:35:02,601
breast enhancement would be,
769
00:35:02,701 --> 00:35:04,370
and you said, "If it's so easy,
why don't you do it?"
770
00:35:04,470 --> 00:35:06,172
Well, I'm taking
your advice, Mom.
771
00:35:06,272 --> 00:35:09,074
If you won't get fake breasts,
then I will.
772
00:35:09,175 --> 00:35:11,577
- What?
- I've already paid the clinic,
773
00:35:11,677 --> 00:35:13,379
and I'll just tell them that
the implants were for me.
774
00:35:13,479 --> 00:35:14,880
You know it's 2022, right?
775
00:35:14,980 --> 00:35:16,782
You know they do surgeries
like this to kids now?
776
00:35:16,882 --> 00:35:19,951
Guess I'll just go
and get fake tits, Mom.
777
00:35:20,051 --> 00:35:23,555
Well, Eric, I guess
that's just your choice.
778
00:35:24,523 --> 00:35:26,158
Mom, I'm serious. It's 2022.
779
00:35:26,258 --> 00:35:28,194
They do these kinds
of surgeries to kids now.
780
00:35:28,294 --> 00:35:29,628
Yes, I know.
781
00:35:29,728 --> 00:35:31,530
Okay, well, then
I'm gonna go to the doctor,
782
00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:32,998
and I'm gonna go get
breast implants.
783
00:35:33,098 --> 00:35:34,633
Okay.
784
00:35:34,733 --> 00:35:37,269
Okay, Mom,
I'm going out the door.
785
00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:39,471
Okay, sweetie, be safe.
786
00:35:39,571 --> 00:35:40,872
Gonna go get fake tits now.
787
00:35:40,972 --> 00:35:42,674
If that's what you want, Eric.
788
00:35:42,774 --> 00:35:44,610
It's not what I want, it's what
you're making me do, Mom.
789
00:35:44,710 --> 00:35:47,546
Okay, honey, well, I love you.
790
00:35:49,781 --> 00:35:52,718
- Okay, well, I'll see you.
- Bye, honey.
791
00:35:56,522 --> 00:35:57,923
Gonna go get breast implants.
792
00:35:58,023 --> 00:36:01,227
I'll come pick you up
when you're done.
793
00:36:01,327 --> 00:36:03,729
Cool.
794
00:36:18,244 --> 00:36:19,978
Come on.
795
00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:26,852
Yes?
796
00:36:26,952 --> 00:36:29,421
Hello, we'd like to speak
with Mr. Cussler, please.
797
00:36:29,521 --> 00:36:30,789
For what?
798
00:36:30,889 --> 00:36:33,124
Well, I want to let him know
that my son here
799
00:36:33,225 --> 00:36:36,395
made a streaming deal
that he had no business making.
800
00:36:36,495 --> 00:36:37,563
Didn't you, Stan?
801
00:36:37,663 --> 00:36:39,097
No, technically, no.
802
00:36:39,197 --> 00:36:40,399
Technically what?
803
00:36:40,499 --> 00:36:43,101
I'm afraid
Mr. Cussler can't see you.
804
00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:44,836
Oh, really? Okay, well,
805
00:36:44,936 --> 00:36:47,906
you go and tell him
that it's Karen Marsh, okay?
806
00:36:48,006 --> 00:36:50,041
And that I will talk
to him right now.
807
00:36:50,141 --> 00:36:53,078
He can't talk to you
because he's dead.
808
00:36:53,178 --> 00:36:54,680
What?
809
00:36:54,780 --> 00:36:57,416
Mr. Cussler's body was found
several hours ago.
810
00:36:57,516 --> 00:36:59,585
He was... attacked
811
00:36:59,685 --> 00:37:01,587
by ManBearPig.
812
00:37:04,823 --> 00:37:06,492
(indistinct radio chatter)
813
00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:07,893
Everyone keep this area clear.
814
00:37:07,993 --> 00:37:09,561
I need casts of the footprints.
815
00:37:09,661 --> 00:37:12,598
Keep your radios down. We don't
want the press showing up.
816
00:37:12,698 --> 00:37:14,165
What's going on here?
817
00:37:14,266 --> 00:37:15,667
Aw, shit, it's Karen.
818
00:37:15,767 --> 00:37:17,102
(officers grumbling)
819
00:37:17,202 --> 00:37:19,638
Hey, look, my son
was in business with this guy.
820
00:37:19,738 --> 00:37:21,707
You really think
he was killed by ManBearPig?
821
00:37:21,807 --> 00:37:23,141
Take a look for yourself.
822
00:37:23,241 --> 00:37:26,011
Something tore him apart
and shit in his face.
823
00:37:26,111 --> 00:37:27,879
Workers found him
late this morning.
824
00:37:27,979 --> 00:37:29,781
The footprints
are those of a pig,
825
00:37:29,881 --> 00:37:31,182
but the claw marks
are those of a bear,
826
00:37:31,283 --> 00:37:33,652
and the excrement,
clearly that of a man.
827
00:37:35,053 --> 00:37:37,589
Why would ManBearPig
single him out?
828
00:37:37,689 --> 00:37:38,957
Apparently, this Cussler guy
829
00:37:39,057 --> 00:37:40,959
was taking advantage
of the water supply.
830
00:37:41,059 --> 00:37:43,362
ManBearPig must've gotten
some kind of vengeance
831
00:37:43,462 --> 00:37:45,196
for the rich guy's greed.
832
00:37:46,732 --> 00:37:48,367
Oh, no.
833
00:37:48,467 --> 00:37:50,802
Karen? What is it?
834
00:37:52,070 --> 00:37:53,271
Karen?
835
00:37:53,372 --> 00:37:54,706
It's just that...
836
00:37:54,806 --> 00:37:57,709
if ManBearPig was getting
vengeance on Cussler,
837
00:37:57,809 --> 00:38:00,946
would he also want
to come after my son?
838
00:38:12,458 --> 00:38:13,492
(knock on door)
839
00:38:13,592 --> 00:38:15,961
Ah, yes. Come on-a in.
840
00:38:16,061 --> 00:38:18,129
It's a-open.
841
00:38:19,365 --> 00:38:21,667
Hello, Pi Pi.
Do you have a minute?
842
00:38:21,767 --> 00:38:24,870
Oh, my good friend
from-a Credigree Farm-a.
843
00:38:24,970 --> 00:38:28,173
So nice a-you to visit.
Mwah. Mwah.
844
00:38:28,273 --> 00:38:31,777
Look. Everything going good
for-a Pi Pi water park.
845
00:38:31,877 --> 00:38:34,413
Everyone having fun.
846
00:38:34,513 --> 00:38:37,616
Yes, that's what I came
to talk to you about.
847
00:38:37,716 --> 00:38:39,385
Pi Pi, I'm sorry, but...
848
00:38:39,485 --> 00:38:41,887
I'm going to have to cancel
my streaming service.
849
00:38:41,987 --> 00:38:44,322
What? Cancel-a Pi Pi?
850
00:38:44,423 --> 00:38:46,825
The drought is worse
than everyone thought.
851
00:38:46,925 --> 00:38:49,094
ManBearPig did a lot
of damage this year and...
852
00:38:49,194 --> 00:38:51,430
I don't have enough water
for my crops.
853
00:38:51,530 --> 00:38:54,199
Oh, that's too bad.
854
00:38:54,299 --> 00:38:57,736
It's too bad 'cause
now you fucked, a-huh?
855
00:38:57,836 --> 00:39:00,606
I need my water rights back,
856
00:39:00,706 --> 00:39:02,441
or else my farm won't survive.
857
00:39:02,541 --> 00:39:04,910
Oh, you make-a Pi Pi cry.
858
00:39:05,010 --> 00:39:06,845
What-a you expect-a, huh?
859
00:39:06,945 --> 00:39:09,080
It's a drought everywhere.
860
00:39:09,180 --> 00:39:11,717
Why you think I buy your water?
861
00:39:11,817 --> 00:39:14,853
You can-a suck Pi Pi dick, huh?
862
00:39:14,953 --> 00:39:16,321
Hey, you son of a bitch.
863
00:39:16,422 --> 00:39:18,156
You knew what you were doing
the whole time.
864
00:39:18,256 --> 00:39:19,958
You think I'm just gonna
sit here and take it?
865
00:39:20,058 --> 00:39:21,292
I'll call
the water commissioner.
866
00:39:21,393 --> 00:39:24,129
Oh, no. No, you-you don't
have to call him.
867
00:39:24,229 --> 00:39:25,831
He's right here.
868
00:39:28,567 --> 00:39:30,502
Afternoon, pal.
869
00:39:30,602 --> 00:39:33,304
How's the drought treating you?
870
00:39:33,405 --> 00:39:35,607
So, the water commissioner
was working
871
00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:37,242
for you the whole time.
872
00:39:37,342 --> 00:39:39,511
Well, I don't have a problem
kicking both of your asses.
873
00:39:39,611 --> 00:39:44,416
Oh, I'd be a little more worried
about the other guy.
874
00:39:47,686 --> 00:39:49,588
(roaring)
875
00:39:49,688 --> 00:39:50,922
(screeching)
876
00:39:51,022 --> 00:39:53,825
ManBearPig.
He's working for you, too?
877
00:39:53,925 --> 00:39:56,928
Everybody wants to get
in the streaming business.
878
00:39:57,028 --> 00:39:58,430
You're the one who bought
all the properties
879
00:39:58,530 --> 00:39:59,865
on the mountaintop.
880
00:39:59,965 --> 00:40:01,399
You just have it all
figured out, don't you?
881
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:05,103
Yeah, looks like-a Pi Pi
has it all pretty figured out.
882
00:40:05,203 --> 00:40:08,106
Goddamn it, I'm not gonna
let you... (screams)
883
00:40:12,778 --> 00:40:15,046
(screams)
884
00:40:18,784 --> 00:40:21,520
(choking)
885
00:40:21,620 --> 00:40:23,722
I'm sorry, Pi Pi can't hear you.
886
00:40:26,558 --> 00:40:27,793
(screaming)
887
00:40:35,834 --> 00:40:38,003
(screaming)
888
00:40:52,584 --> 00:40:54,152
How is he?
889
00:40:54,252 --> 00:40:58,123
I believe he's
coming to, Doctor.
890
00:40:58,223 --> 00:41:00,258
(groaning)
891
00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:04,429
Hello, Eric. Just want to let
you know everything went fine.
892
00:41:04,530 --> 00:41:06,131
We're gonna let
the anesthesia wear off
893
00:41:06,231 --> 00:41:08,166
a little more, and then
we can let you go home.
894
00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:09,668
(stammers)
895
00:41:09,768 --> 00:41:11,970
Okay. Um, cool.
896
00:41:12,070 --> 00:41:13,605
CARTMAN'S MOM:
Well, you did it, Eric.
897
00:41:13,705 --> 00:41:15,874
I hope you're happier now.
898
00:41:15,974 --> 00:41:18,043
They all said
you were very insistent.
899
00:41:18,143 --> 00:41:20,078
That you said you'd
cancel them if they didn't
900
00:41:20,178 --> 00:41:21,780
put breast implants
in one of us.
901
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:23,882
I-I...
902
00:41:23,982 --> 00:41:25,984
I-I have fake tits?
903
00:41:28,286 --> 00:41:29,955
CARTMAN'S MOM:
They said that tube
904
00:41:30,055 --> 00:41:32,290
is for draining blood
while the swelling goes down.
905
00:41:32,390 --> 00:41:36,261
Your breasts are swollen now
as a reaction to the implants.
906
00:41:36,361 --> 00:41:39,531
Okay, well, now that you see
how serious I was,
907
00:41:39,631 --> 00:41:41,132
what're you gonna do now?
908
00:41:41,232 --> 00:41:44,202
I'm gonna go down and
get some grocery shopping done.
909
00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:46,237
Mom?
910
00:41:46,337 --> 00:41:48,907
I will go to school like this.
911
00:41:49,007 --> 00:41:52,077
You're gonna have to give in
at some point.
912
00:41:52,177 --> 00:41:54,445
Mom?
913
00:41:54,546 --> 00:41:57,415
(school bell rings)
914
00:41:57,515 --> 00:41:59,350
Well, have you guys seen
Butters or Cartman?
915
00:41:59,450 --> 00:42:01,319
- What the hell is going on?
- I don't know, but we have
916
00:42:01,419 --> 00:42:03,054
a lot of boats to make,
and recess is almost over.
917
00:42:03,154 --> 00:42:04,355
You guys. You guys.
918
00:42:04,455 --> 00:42:06,257
There you are.
What's wrong dude?
919
00:42:06,357 --> 00:42:10,095
Um, we need to stop making stuff
for streaming services.
920
00:42:10,195 --> 00:42:11,262
What're you talking about?
921
00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:13,064
It's all getting really weird.
922
00:42:13,164 --> 00:42:15,934
The guy we made the deal with?
He was killed.
923
00:42:16,034 --> 00:42:17,235
He was killed?
924
00:42:17,335 --> 00:42:19,671
I think we got greedy.
I got greedy.
925
00:42:19,771 --> 00:42:21,840
We should've never gotten
involved in the streaming wars.
926
00:42:21,940 --> 00:42:23,709
They've upset
the balance of nature.
927
00:42:23,809 --> 00:42:24,743
Hey, whoa, whoa, Stan.
928
00:42:24,843 --> 00:42:26,444
We weren't greedy, okay?
929
00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:28,046
We made the money
for a good reason.
930
00:42:28,146 --> 00:42:29,347
Yeah, dude. Don't forget,
931
00:42:29,447 --> 00:42:31,049
everything we did
was for a good cause.
932
00:42:31,149 --> 00:42:32,050
CARTMAN:
You guys.
933
00:42:32,150 --> 00:42:33,752
You guys, something
934
00:42:33,852 --> 00:42:36,354
is seriously wrong with my mom.
935
00:42:36,454 --> 00:42:38,624
She's acting crazy.
936
00:42:38,724 --> 00:42:41,559
Are any of your parents
acting weird at all?
937
00:42:41,660 --> 00:42:44,963
Hey, fellas, are we making more
boats for the-- Whoa, hello!
938
00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:47,065
Jesus, what happened
to you, Eric?
939
00:42:47,165 --> 00:42:49,167
Okay, okay, fine. I was hoping
940
00:42:49,267 --> 00:42:50,802
everyone would just be cool,
941
00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:53,605
but I guess we need to talk
about the elephants in the room.
942
00:42:53,705 --> 00:42:55,373
This was not a choice.
943
00:42:55,473 --> 00:42:57,142
You guys, I...
944
00:42:57,242 --> 00:43:00,145
I live in a hot dog, okay?
945
00:43:00,245 --> 00:43:02,247
And all I want
is to have a real home,
946
00:43:02,347 --> 00:43:04,616
and a room that is mine
to sleep in at night.
947
00:43:04,716 --> 00:43:06,051
To-- Is something funny, Clyde?
948
00:43:06,151 --> 00:43:08,119
(stifled laughter)
949
00:43:08,219 --> 00:43:09,855
Yeah, it's real funny.
950
00:43:09,955 --> 00:43:11,389
If I were you guys,
I'd be super pissed
951
00:43:11,489 --> 00:43:13,158
at my mom because you
worked hard for this money.
952
00:43:13,258 --> 00:43:14,960
All right, Cartman,
stop fucking around.
953
00:43:15,060 --> 00:43:16,327
Obviously, those aren't real.
954
00:43:16,427 --> 00:43:19,030
I didn't say they're real.
They're not real.
955
00:43:19,130 --> 00:43:20,932
They're silicone implants
surgically inserted
956
00:43:21,032 --> 00:43:22,367
under the chest muscle.
957
00:43:22,467 --> 00:43:23,935
Nobody believes
you actually got fake tits.
958
00:43:24,035 --> 00:43:25,436
These are real fake tits.
959
00:43:25,536 --> 00:43:28,206
Kenny, feel them.
Go on. feel them.
960
00:43:33,712 --> 00:43:35,113
Those are fucking real, dude.
961
00:43:35,213 --> 00:43:36,614
- What?
- Thank you, Kenny.
962
00:43:36,715 --> 00:43:38,483
Now, if we can all get our minds
off fucking boobs
963
00:43:38,583 --> 00:43:40,819
for a second,
something's happened to my mom.
964
00:43:40,919 --> 00:43:42,988
TOLKIEN:
Mom? Mom, what's wrong?
965
00:43:43,088 --> 00:43:46,157
Mom, slow down,
I can't understand you.
966
00:43:47,726 --> 00:43:49,527
What do you mean Dad is missing?
967
00:43:49,627 --> 00:43:51,663
See?
968
00:43:56,067 --> 00:43:58,670
I want to congratulate you,
Pi Pi.
969
00:43:58,770 --> 00:44:01,172
It appears you've won
the streaming wars.
970
00:44:01,272 --> 00:44:04,976
And I want to thank-a you
for your service.
971
00:44:05,076 --> 00:44:07,178
It's been-a nice
working with you.
972
00:44:07,278 --> 00:44:10,048
(chuckles) You think it's over?
973
00:44:10,148 --> 00:44:11,717
You're gonna need me
more than ever.
974
00:44:11,817 --> 00:44:15,253
Oh, but, uh, but I have-a
everything I need now.
975
00:44:15,353 --> 00:44:17,488
Water?
976
00:44:17,588 --> 00:44:19,624
You silly little guy.
977
00:44:19,725 --> 00:44:22,427
You really think you own
all the water now?
978
00:44:22,527 --> 00:44:25,163
You know who actually
owns the water?
979
00:44:25,263 --> 00:44:27,065
The State of Colorado.
980
00:44:27,165 --> 00:44:28,800
Every drop that rains
from the sky.
981
00:44:28,900 --> 00:44:31,636
Your little water rights
won't mean anything when Arizona
982
00:44:31,737 --> 00:44:34,773
comes knocking, when Kansas
wants all their water.
983
00:44:34,873 --> 00:44:37,342
Oh, no. You make-a Pi Pi worry.
984
00:44:37,442 --> 00:44:40,912
You're gonna need me
for a long time, buddy.
985
00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:43,548
You know who
really own the water?
986
00:44:43,648 --> 00:44:44,883
Nobody.
987
00:44:44,983 --> 00:44:46,151
Now, the people a Denver,
988
00:44:46,251 --> 00:44:48,153
they think they have-a
plenty of water,
989
00:44:48,253 --> 00:44:50,555
so they gonna go and use it all.
990
00:44:50,655 --> 00:44:53,391
And when all
the water is-a gone,
991
00:44:53,491 --> 00:44:57,462
there's only one thing left
for people to use.
992
00:44:57,562 --> 00:45:01,632
The one thing that-a Pi Pi have
more than everybody, huh?
993
00:45:04,669 --> 00:45:07,705
No, no, no. It's good.
It's completely safe.
994
00:45:07,806 --> 00:45:09,140
Just a little salty, eh?
995
00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:12,177
You're planning on selling piss?
996
00:45:12,277 --> 00:45:14,245
It's-a, it's-a destiny.
997
00:45:14,345 --> 00:45:16,381
All the fresh water go bye-bye.
998
00:45:16,481 --> 00:45:19,417
Everybody gonna have to wash
their clothes in pee.
999
00:45:19,517 --> 00:45:22,120
Brush their teeth in pee, no?
1000
00:45:22,220 --> 00:45:24,589
And who has the most pee
1001
00:45:24,689 --> 00:45:26,657
in all the land-a?
1002
00:45:26,758 --> 00:45:29,227
Only a psychopath
would speed up climate change
1003
00:45:29,327 --> 00:45:30,862
for his own profit.
1004
00:45:30,962 --> 00:45:34,199
Yeah, well, you see, ManBearPig,
1005
00:45:34,299 --> 00:45:38,136
eventually,
he gonna kill everybody.
1006
00:45:38,236 --> 00:45:41,339
He just gonna kill you first.
1007
00:45:42,340 --> 00:45:44,542
- (screaming)
- (roaring)
1008
00:45:50,048 --> 00:45:51,749
("Use Me"
by Bill Withers playing)
1009
00:45:51,850 --> 00:45:54,285
(water commissioner
continues screaming)
1010
00:46:00,758 --> 00:46:03,494
They keep trying to tell me ♪
1011
00:46:05,997 --> 00:46:09,734
All you want to do is use me ♪
1012
00:46:12,904 --> 00:46:15,406
Uh-huh, but my answer ♪
1013
00:46:18,043 --> 00:46:21,579
♪ Yeah, to all that
use me stuff ♪
1014
00:46:24,983 --> 00:46:27,552
I-I-I, yes, I want ♪
1015
00:46:27,652 --> 00:46:29,420
To spread the news ♪
1016
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,756
♪ That if it feels this good
getting used ♪
1017
00:46:31,857 --> 00:46:34,192
♪ Oh, you just keep on
using me... ♪
1018
00:46:34,292 --> 00:46:36,527
(laughter)
1019
00:46:37,628 --> 00:46:40,231
Until you use me up ♪
1020
00:46:43,501 --> 00:46:46,771
Until you use me up ♪
1021
00:46:51,242 --> 00:46:53,711
My brother ♪
1022
00:46:56,347 --> 00:46:57,615
Sit me right down ♪
1023
00:46:57,715 --> 00:47:00,251
And he talked to me ♪
1024
00:47:01,853 --> 00:47:03,488
Uh-huh ♪
1025
00:47:03,588 --> 00:47:06,157
♪ And I want
to spread the news ♪
1026
00:47:06,257 --> 00:47:09,194
♪ That if it feels this good
getting used ♪
1027
00:47:09,294 --> 00:47:13,364
♪ Girl, you just
keep on using me ♪
1028
00:47:14,265 --> 00:47:17,335
Until you use me up ♪
1029
00:47:20,571 --> 00:47:23,674
Until you use me up ♪
1030
00:47:27,245 --> 00:47:29,580
They keep trying to tell me ♪
1031
00:47:32,583 --> 00:47:36,321
All you want to do is use me ♪
1032
00:47:39,457 --> 00:47:42,393
Uh-huh, but my answer ♪
1033
00:47:42,493 --> 00:47:44,762
Uh-huh ♪
1034
00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:48,533
♪ Yeah, to all that
use me stuff ♪
1035
00:47:51,669 --> 00:47:55,606
♪ I-I-I, yes, I want
to spread the news ♪
1036
00:47:55,706 --> 00:47:58,609
♪ That if it feels this good
getting used ♪
1037
00:47:58,709 --> 00:48:02,613
♪ Oh, you just
keep on using me. ♪