1 00:00:23,837 --> 00:00:25,464 So stay with us because later this afternoon, 2 00:00:25,538 --> 00:00:28,473 we're lucky enough to be talking to Anna Scott, 3 00:00:28,541 --> 00:00:30,475 Hollywood's biggest star by far. 4 00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:33,804 Miss Scott's latest film is once again topping the charts. 5 00:00:38,169 --> 00:00:42,868 She may be the face I can't forget 6 00:00:42,941 --> 00:00:47,037 A trace of pleasure or regret 7 00:00:47,111 --> 00:00:51,047 May be my treasure or the price 8 00:00:51,115 --> 00:00:53,481 I have to pay 9 00:00:53,551 --> 00:00:56,611 She may be the mirror 10 00:00:56,688 --> 00:00:58,622 Of my dream 11 00:00:58,690 --> 00:01:02,148 A smile reflected in a stream 12 00:01:02,226 --> 00:01:05,821 She may not be what she may seem 13 00:01:05,897 --> 00:01:11,529 Inside her shell 14 00:01:11,603 --> 00:01:16,199 She who always seems so happy in a crowd 15 00:01:16,274 --> 00:01:20,005 Whose eyes can be so private and so proud 16 00:01:20,078 --> 00:01:25,948 No one's allowed to see them when they cry 17 00:01:26,017 --> 00:01:31,045 She may be the love that cannot hope to last 18 00:01:31,122 --> 00:01:35,525 May come to me from shadows of the past 19 00:01:35,593 --> 00:01:38,756 That I'll remember till the day 20 00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:40,855 I die 21 00:01:40,932 --> 00:01:45,801 She may be the reason I survive 22 00:01:45,870 --> 00:01:49,533 The why and wherefore I'm alive 23 00:01:49,607 --> 00:01:52,838 The one I'll care for through the rough 24 00:01:52,910 --> 00:01:55,276 And ready years 25 00:01:55,346 --> 00:02:00,443 Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears 26 00:02:00,518 --> 00:02:04,113 And make them all my souvenirs 27 00:02:04,188 --> 00:02:07,589 For where she goes I've got to be 28 00:02:07,659 --> 00:02:10,856 The meaning of my life is 29 00:02:10,928 --> 00:02:19,896 She 30 00:02:19,971 --> 00:02:26,069 Oh, she 31 00:02:26,244 --> 00:02:28,502 Of course I've seen her films... 32 00:02:28,579 --> 00:02:30,979 and always thought she was, well, fabulous. 33 00:02:31,049 --> 00:02:33,984 But, you know, a million, million miles from the world I live in... 34 00:02:34,052 --> 00:02:38,716 which is here, Notting Hill, my favorite bit of London. 35 00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:42,886 There's the market on weekdays selling every fruit and vegetable known to man. 36 00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,123 Rock hard bananas, five for a pound! 37 00:02:46,197 --> 00:02:48,961 The tattoo parlor with a guy outside who got drunk... 38 00:02:49,033 --> 00:02:52,491 and now can't remember why he chose "I love Ken." 39 00:02:52,570 --> 00:02:56,973 The radical hairdressers where everyone comes out looking like the Cookie Monster, 40 00:02:57,041 --> 00:02:59,271 whether they want to or not. 41 00:02:59,343 --> 00:03:01,436 And then, suddenly, it's the weekend, 42 00:03:01,512 --> 00:03:04,208 and from break of day hundreds of stalls appear out of nowhere, 43 00:03:04,282 --> 00:03:06,944 filling Portobello Road, right up to Notting Hill Gate. 44 00:03:07,018 --> 00:03:10,579 And wherever you look thousands of people are buying millions of antiques, 45 00:03:10,655 --> 00:03:15,820 some genuine and some... not quite so genuine. 46 00:03:15,893 --> 00:03:19,590 And what's great is that lots of friends have ended up in this part of London. 47 00:03:19,664 --> 00:03:23,191 That's Tony, for example, architect turned chef, 48 00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:26,703 who recently invested all the money he ever earned in a new restaurant. 49 00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:29,934 And so, this is where I spend my days and years... 50 00:03:30,007 --> 00:03:33,841 in this small village in the middle of the city in a house with a blue door... 51 00:03:33,911 --> 00:03:37,369 that my wife and I bought together before she left me for a man... 52 00:03:37,448 --> 00:03:40,042 who looked exactly like Harrison Ford. 53 00:03:40,118 --> 00:03:43,087 And where I lead a strange half-life with a lodger called- 54 00:03:43,154 --> 00:03:45,088 Spike! 55 00:03:48,926 --> 00:03:53,295 You couldn't help me with an incredible important decision, could you? 56 00:03:53,364 --> 00:03:57,391 Is this important in comparison to, let's say, whether they should cancel Third World debt? 57 00:03:57,468 --> 00:04:00,596 That's right. I am at last going out on a date with the great Janine, 58 00:04:00,671 --> 00:04:02,969 and I just wanna be sure I've picked the right T-shirt. 59 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,975 - What are the choices? - Well, wait for it. 60 00:04:13,317 --> 00:04:16,669 First there's this one. Cool, huh? 61 00:04:16,803 --> 00:04:21,137 Yeah, it might make it hard to strike a really romantic note. 62 00:04:21,207 --> 00:04:23,141 Point taken. Don't despair. 63 00:04:23,209 --> 00:04:26,940 If it's romance we're looking for, I believe I have just the thing. 64 00:04:31,150 --> 00:04:35,086 Yeah, well, there again, she might not think you had true love on your mind. 65 00:04:35,154 --> 00:04:38,180 Right. Just one more. 66 00:04:43,830 --> 00:04:46,321 True love here I come. 67 00:04:51,371 --> 00:04:55,774 Well, yeah. Yeah, that's- that's, um, perfect. 68 00:04:55,842 --> 00:04:58,834 Great. Thanks. 69 00:04:58,911 --> 00:05:02,210 - Wish me luck. - Good luck. 70 00:05:07,587 --> 00:05:10,181 And so it was just another hopeless Wednesday, 71 00:05:10,256 --> 00:05:13,020 as I walked the thousand yards through the market to work, 72 00:05:13,092 --> 00:05:17,620 never suspecting that this was the day that was gonna change my life forever. 73 00:05:17,697 --> 00:05:21,155 This is work, by the way, my little travel bookshop, 74 00:05:22,268 --> 00:05:25,328 - Morning, Martin. - Morning, Monsignor. 75 00:05:25,405 --> 00:05:28,431 which, um, well, sells travel books, 76 00:05:28,508 --> 00:05:31,875 and to be frank with you, doesn't always sell many of those. 77 00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:39,109 Classic. Profit from major sales push, 78 00:05:39,185 --> 00:05:42,279 minus 347 pound. 79 00:05:43,856 --> 00:05:47,485 Shall I, uh, go and get you a cappuccino? 80 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:50,552 - You know, ease the pain a bit. - Yeah, yeah. 81 00:05:50,630 --> 00:05:53,724 Better make it a half. All I can afford. 82 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:58,635 Get your logic. Demi-cappu coming right up. 83 00:06:22,829 --> 00:06:25,229 Um, can I help you at all? 84 00:06:26,632 --> 00:06:29,931 No, thanks. I'll just... look around. 85 00:06:31,003 --> 00:06:33,836 Fine. 86 00:06:39,278 --> 00:06:42,509 Uh, that book's really not great. 87 00:06:42,582 --> 00:06:46,609 Just in case, you know, browsing turned to buying. You'd be wasting your money. 88 00:06:46,686 --> 00:06:49,177 But if it's Turkey you're interested in, 89 00:06:49,255 --> 00:06:52,281 um, this one, on the other hand, is very good. 90 00:06:52,358 --> 00:06:56,590 Um, I think the man who wrote it has actually been to Turkey, which helps. 91 00:06:56,662 --> 00:07:00,564 Um, there's also a very amusing incident with a kebab, 92 00:07:00,633 --> 00:07:03,397 um, which is one of many amusing incidents. 93 00:07:03,469 --> 00:07:05,437 Thanks. I'll think about it. 94 00:07:05,505 --> 00:07:08,030 Or, in the bigger hardback variety, there's- 95 00:07:08,107 --> 00:07:12,168 I'm sorry. Can you just give me a second? 96 00:07:15,314 --> 00:07:17,544 Excuse me. 97 00:07:17,617 --> 00:07:19,642 - Yes? - Bad news. 98 00:07:19,719 --> 00:07:21,152 What? 99 00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:24,815 We've got a security camera in this bit of the shop. 100 00:07:24,891 --> 00:07:26,153 So? 101 00:07:26,225 --> 00:07:28,955 So I saw you put that book down your trousers. 102 00:07:30,329 --> 00:07:34,561 - What book? - The one down your trousers. 103 00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:37,228 I don't have a book down my trousers. 104 00:07:37,303 --> 00:07:39,271 Right. 105 00:07:39,338 --> 00:07:41,636 I tell you what. Um, I'll call the police, and, um, 106 00:07:41,707 --> 00:07:45,541 if I'm wrong about the whole "book down the trousers" scenario, 107 00:07:45,611 --> 00:07:47,044 I really apologize. 108 00:07:47,113 --> 00:07:52,483 Okay. What if... I did have a book down my trousers? 109 00:07:52,552 --> 00:07:55,419 Well, ideally, when I went back to the desk, 110 00:07:55,488 --> 00:08:00,585 you'd remove the Cadogan Guide to Bali from your trousers... 111 00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:03,857 and either wipe it and put it back or buy it. 112 00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:06,330 I'll see you in a sec. 113 00:08:06,399 --> 00:08:08,867 I'm sorry about that. 114 00:08:08,935 --> 00:08:11,460 No, it's fine. 115 00:08:11,537 --> 00:08:15,439 I was gonna steal one, but now I've changed my mind. 116 00:08:15,508 --> 00:08:18,443 Oh, signed by the author, I see. 117 00:08:18,511 --> 00:08:20,843 Um, yeah, couldn't stop him. 118 00:08:20,913 --> 00:08:23,814 If you can find an unsigned one, it's worth an absolute fortune. 119 00:08:23,883 --> 00:08:26,875 Excuse me. 120 00:08:26,953 --> 00:08:28,978 - Yes? - Can I have your autograph? 121 00:08:29,055 --> 00:08:31,523 Uh, sure. 122 00:08:31,591 --> 00:08:33,718 - Uh- - Here. 123 00:08:33,793 --> 00:08:37,285 - What's your name? - Rufus. 124 00:08:42,034 --> 00:08:44,025 What does it say? 125 00:08:44,103 --> 00:08:49,166 That's my signature. And above it, it says, "Dear Rufus, you belong in jail." 126 00:08:49,242 --> 00:08:51,335 Good one. 127 00:08:53,079 --> 00:08:56,640 - Do you want my phone number? - Tempting. 128 00:08:56,716 --> 00:08:59,549 But... no. Thank you. 129 00:09:03,422 --> 00:09:06,323 I will take this one. 130 00:09:06,392 --> 00:09:08,860 Oh, right, right. So, uh- 131 00:09:08,928 --> 00:09:12,989 Well, on second thoughts, um, maybe it's not that bad after all. 132 00:09:13,065 --> 00:09:15,966 Actually, it's a sort of a classic, really. 133 00:09:16,035 --> 00:09:19,596 None of those childish kebab stories you find in so many books these days. 134 00:09:19,672 --> 00:09:21,606 And, um, I tell you what. 135 00:09:21,674 --> 00:09:23,665 I'll throw in one of those for free. 136 00:09:23,743 --> 00:09:26,268 Useful for, uh, lighting fires, 137 00:09:26,345 --> 00:09:29,280 wrapping fish, that sort of thing. 138 00:09:32,184 --> 00:09:34,675 - Thanks. - Pleasure. 139 00:10:05,851 --> 00:10:10,220 Cappuccino, as ordered. 140 00:10:10,289 --> 00:10:12,314 Thanks. 141 00:10:12,391 --> 00:10:15,485 I don't think you'll believe who was just in here. 142 00:10:15,561 --> 00:10:18,428 Who? Was it someone famous? 143 00:10:19,832 --> 00:10:21,925 - No, no, no. - No? 144 00:10:22,001 --> 00:10:26,529 Would be exciting, though, wouldn't it, if someone famous came into the shop? Hmm? 145 00:10:26,606 --> 00:10:30,565 Do you know- and this is pretty amazing, actually- 146 00:10:30,643 --> 00:10:32,907 but I once saw Ringo Starr. 147 00:10:32,979 --> 00:10:35,277 - Where was that? - Kensington High Street. 148 00:10:35,348 --> 00:10:37,282 At least I think it was Ringo. 149 00:10:37,350 --> 00:10:40,080 It might have been that man from Fiddler on the Roof. 150 00:10:40,152 --> 00:10:42,814 - You know, Toppy. - Topol. 151 00:10:42,888 --> 00:10:45,584 Yes, that's right. Topol. 152 00:10:45,658 --> 00:10:47,592 Mm-hmm. 153 00:10:47,660 --> 00:10:51,528 Actually, Ringo Starr doesn't- doesn't look at all like, uh, Topol. 154 00:10:51,597 --> 00:10:54,691 Yeah, but he was- he was quite a long way away from me. 155 00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:57,861 So actually it could've been neither of them. 156 00:10:57,937 --> 00:11:00,804 Yes, I suppose so, yes. 157 00:11:00,873 --> 00:11:05,276 - It's not a classic anecdote, is it? - Not a classic, no. No. 158 00:11:09,081 --> 00:11:13,518 - Another one? - Yes. No. 159 00:11:13,586 --> 00:11:17,044 Let's go crazy. I'll have an orange juice. 160 00:11:22,595 --> 00:11:25,393 - Okay, thanks. Bye-bye. - See you later. 161 00:11:32,304 --> 00:11:34,329 - Oh! - Oh! Shit! 162 00:11:34,407 --> 00:11:37,399 - Oh, my God! - Bugger! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 163 00:11:37,476 --> 00:11:40,343 - Here. Let me- - Get your hands off! 164 00:11:40,413 --> 00:11:43,211 I'm really sorry. I- I live just over the street. 165 00:11:43,282 --> 00:11:46,513 I have, um, water and soap. You can get cleaned up. 166 00:11:46,585 --> 00:11:48,815 No, thank you. I just need to get my car back. 167 00:11:48,888 --> 00:11:52,221 I also have a phone. I'm confident that in five minutes... 168 00:11:52,291 --> 00:11:55,260 we could have you spick-and-span and back on the street again. 169 00:11:55,327 --> 00:11:58,057 In the non-prostitute sense, obviously. 170 00:12:01,167 --> 00:12:04,364 All right. Well- What do you mean, "just over the street"? 171 00:12:04,437 --> 00:12:08,156 - Give it to me in yards. - Uh, 18 yards. 172 00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:11,461 That's my house there with the blue front door. 173 00:12:14,403 --> 00:12:17,634 Come on in. I'll just- I'll just- 174 00:12:20,743 --> 00:12:25,840 Um, right. Right. Come in. 175 00:12:25,915 --> 00:12:29,316 It's, um, not quite as tidy as it normally is, I fear. 176 00:12:29,385 --> 00:12:32,548 But, um- The bathroom's on the top floor. 177 00:12:32,621 --> 00:12:36,489 And the telephone's just- just up here. 178 00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:40,392 Here. Let- Let me, um- 179 00:12:46,201 --> 00:12:49,637 Um, round the corner. Straight on- straight on up. 180 00:12:53,442 --> 00:12:55,376 Bugger. 181 00:13:00,316 --> 00:13:02,181 Uh-oh. 182 00:13:15,030 --> 00:13:16,930 Uh, 183 00:13:16,999 --> 00:13:20,196 would you like a cup of tea before you go? 184 00:13:20,269 --> 00:13:22,635 - No. - Coffee? 185 00:13:22,705 --> 00:13:25,469 - No. - Orange juice? 186 00:13:26,609 --> 00:13:31,069 Probably not. Um, something else cold. 187 00:13:31,146 --> 00:13:33,080 Uh- 188 00:13:33,148 --> 00:13:37,278 Coke? Water? 189 00:13:37,353 --> 00:13:39,287 Some disgusting sugary drink... 190 00:13:39,355 --> 00:13:41,448 pretending to have something to do with fruits of the forest? 191 00:13:41,523 --> 00:13:44,583 - No. - Would you like something to eat? 192 00:13:44,660 --> 00:13:46,924 Uh, something to nibble? 193 00:13:46,996 --> 00:13:50,864 Um, apricots soaked in honey? 194 00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:54,369 Quite why, no one knows, because it stops them tasting of apricots... 195 00:13:54,436 --> 00:13:56,768 and makes them taste like honey, 196 00:13:56,839 --> 00:14:01,799 and if you wanted honey, you'd just buy honey instead of... apricots. 197 00:14:01,877 --> 00:14:04,345 Um, but nevertheless, there we go there. 198 00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:06,574 They're yours if you want them. 199 00:14:06,649 --> 00:14:08,514 No. 200 00:14:11,053 --> 00:14:13,453 Do you always say "no" to everything? 201 00:14:15,391 --> 00:14:17,325 No. 202 00:14:18,861 --> 00:14:21,489 I'd better be going. 203 00:14:21,563 --> 00:14:24,828 Thanks for your, uh, help. 204 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,834 You're welcome. 205 00:14:26,902 --> 00:14:32,272 And, uh, may I also say, um, heavenly. 206 00:14:32,341 --> 00:14:35,276 I'll just take my one chance to say it. 207 00:14:35,344 --> 00:14:37,608 After you've read that terrible book, 208 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,012 you're certainly not going to be coming back to the shop. 209 00:14:40,082 --> 00:14:42,710 Thank you. 210 00:14:42,785 --> 00:14:46,744 Yeah. Well, my pleasure. 211 00:14:57,299 --> 00:15:00,063 So... 212 00:15:00,135 --> 00:15:02,194 it was nice to meet you. 213 00:15:02,271 --> 00:15:06,537 Surreal but, um- but nice. 214 00:15:08,610 --> 00:15:10,544 Sorry. 215 00:15:18,053 --> 00:15:21,511 "Surreal but nice"? What was I thinking? 216 00:15:33,202 --> 00:15:35,727 - Hi. - Hi. 217 00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:39,865 - I forgot my other bag. - Oh, right. Right. 218 00:15:48,684 --> 00:15:50,618 Thanks. 219 00:16:21,183 --> 00:16:25,950 I'm very sorry about the "surreal but nice" comment. 220 00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:28,489 - Disaster. - That's okay. 221 00:16:28,557 --> 00:16:33,324 I thought the apricot and honey thing was the real low point. 222 00:16:35,497 --> 00:16:38,227 Oh, my God. My flatmate. 223 00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:40,962 I'm sorry. There's no excuse for him. 224 00:16:43,539 --> 00:16:45,473 - Hey. - Hi. 225 00:16:45,541 --> 00:16:47,907 I'm just going into the kitchen to get some food. 226 00:16:47,976 --> 00:16:52,345 Then I'm gonna tell you a story that will make your balls shrink to the size of raisins. 227 00:16:57,252 --> 00:17:00,847 Probably best not to tell anyone about this. 228 00:17:00,923 --> 00:17:03,915 Right. Right. No one. 229 00:17:03,992 --> 00:17:06,290 I mean, I'll tell myself sometimes. 230 00:17:06,361 --> 00:17:08,989 But don't worry. I won't believe it. 231 00:17:15,437 --> 00:17:17,632 - Bye. - Bye. 232 00:17:29,051 --> 00:17:32,179 There's something wrong with this yogurt. 233 00:17:34,056 --> 00:17:37,184 It's not yogurt. It's mayonnaise. 234 00:17:37,259 --> 00:17:39,284 Oh, right. There we are then. 235 00:17:39,361 --> 00:17:41,158 Mm. 236 00:17:41,230 --> 00:17:44,131 On for a videofest tonight? 237 00:17:45,534 --> 00:17:48,697 I got some absolute classics. 238 00:17:51,273 --> 00:17:54,299 - Smile. - No. 239 00:17:57,679 --> 00:18:01,911 - Smile. - I've got nothing to smile about. 240 00:18:10,959 --> 00:18:12,893 Okay. 241 00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:15,589 In about seven seconds, 242 00:18:15,664 --> 00:18:18,360 I'm going to ask you to marry me. 243 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,634 Imagine. 244 00:18:27,709 --> 00:18:32,510 Somewhere in the world there's a man who's allowed to kiss her. 245 00:18:35,083 --> 00:18:37,813 Yes, she is, uh, 246 00:18:37,886 --> 00:18:41,686 fairly fabulous. 247 00:18:49,798 --> 00:18:52,358 - Do you have any books by Dickens? - No. 248 00:18:52,434 --> 00:18:56,894 No, I'm afraid we're a travel bookshop. We only sell travel books. 249 00:18:58,540 --> 00:19:01,805 Oh, right. How about the new John Grisham thriller? 250 00:19:03,245 --> 00:19:07,238 Well, no, 'cause that's, uh- that's a novel too, isn't it? 251 00:19:07,316 --> 00:19:10,149 Oh, right. 252 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:16,587 Have you got Winnie the Pooh? 253 00:19:18,160 --> 00:19:20,628 Martin, your customer. 254 00:19:20,696 --> 00:19:22,755 Uh, can I help you? 255 00:19:29,438 --> 00:19:31,804 Once in a lifetime 256 00:19:34,209 --> 00:19:36,143 Hey. 257 00:19:36,211 --> 00:19:38,145 Hi. 258 00:19:39,715 --> 00:19:44,448 - Once in a lifetime - Just, um, incidentally, 259 00:19:44,519 --> 00:19:47,511 uh, why... are you wearing that? 260 00:19:47,589 --> 00:19:51,320 Combination of factors really. Uh, no clean clothes. 261 00:19:51,393 --> 00:19:55,295 There never will be, you know, unless you actually clean your clothes. 262 00:19:55,364 --> 00:19:57,798 Right. Vicious circle. 263 00:19:57,866 --> 00:20:00,562 And I was, like, rooting around in your things... 264 00:20:00,635 --> 00:20:02,660 and I found this, and I thought "cool." 265 00:20:04,324 --> 00:20:06,884 Kinda... spacey. 266 00:20:10,029 --> 00:20:12,930 There's something wrong with the goggles, though. 267 00:20:12,999 --> 00:20:15,900 No, they were, um, prescription. 268 00:20:15,969 --> 00:20:19,598 - Groovy. - So I could see all the fishes properly. 269 00:20:19,672 --> 00:20:22,300 You should do more of this stuff. 270 00:20:22,375 --> 00:20:26,334 - So, look, any messages today? - Yeah, I wrote a couple down. 271 00:20:26,412 --> 00:20:29,813 So there were two. There were two messages? Right? 272 00:20:31,751 --> 00:20:35,084 You want me to write down all your messages? 273 00:20:35,155 --> 00:20:39,285 Okay, who are the ones that you didn't write down from? 274 00:20:41,194 --> 00:20:42,627 No. Gone completely. 275 00:20:42,695 --> 00:20:44,629 Oh, no. There was one from your mum. 276 00:20:44,697 --> 00:20:47,325 She said don't forget lunch, and her leg's hurting again. 277 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,960 - No one else? - Absolutely no one else. 278 00:20:53,406 --> 00:20:56,705 Though if we're going for this obsessive writing down all the message thing, 279 00:20:56,776 --> 00:21:00,212 some American girl called Anna called a few days ago. 280 00:21:05,752 --> 00:21:08,687 - What did she say? - Well, it was genuinely bizarre. 281 00:21:08,755 --> 00:21:14,216 She said, "Hi. It's Anna." Then she said, "Call me at The Ritz"... 282 00:21:14,294 --> 00:21:17,786 and then gave herself a completely different name. 283 00:21:17,864 --> 00:21:21,800 - Which was? - Absolutely no idea. 284 00:21:21,868 --> 00:21:24,302 Remembering one name's hard enough. 285 00:21:24,370 --> 00:21:26,634 No, I- I know that. She- She said that. 286 00:21:26,706 --> 00:21:28,970 Um, I know she's using another name. 287 00:21:29,042 --> 00:21:32,500 The problem is she left the message with my flatmate... 288 00:21:32,579 --> 00:21:34,513 which was a very serious mistake. 289 00:21:34,581 --> 00:21:38,881 Um, I don't know. Imagine, if you will, the stupidest person you've ever met. 290 00:21:38,952 --> 00:21:43,184 - Are you doing that? - Yes, sir, I have him in my mind. 291 00:21:43,256 --> 00:21:46,555 And now double it. And that is the, um- what can I say- 292 00:21:46,626 --> 00:21:49,186 the git that I am living with. 293 00:21:49,262 --> 00:21:50,661 And he can't remember- 294 00:21:50,730 --> 00:21:53,824 - Try Flintstone. - I'm sorry, what? 295 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:57,336 I think she said her name was Flintstone. 296 00:21:59,405 --> 00:22:04,365 I don't- I don't suppose, um, Flintstone rings any bells, does it? 297 00:22:04,444 --> 00:22:07,709 - Oh, I'll put you right through, sir. - Oh, my God. 298 00:22:10,350 --> 00:22:13,513 Hello. Hi. 299 00:22:13,586 --> 00:22:15,520 - Hi there. - Hello? 300 00:22:15,588 --> 00:22:17,522 Hi. Hi. 301 00:22:17,590 --> 00:22:21,356 - Sorry. It's William... Thacker. - Yes? 302 00:22:21,427 --> 00:22:23,952 Um, we- I work in a bookshop. 303 00:22:24,030 --> 00:22:27,898 Uh-huh. You played it pretty cool there, waiting for three days to call. 304 00:22:27,967 --> 00:22:31,198 Oh, no, I promise you I've never played anything cool in my entire life. 305 00:22:31,271 --> 00:22:34,763 My flatmate, who'll I'll stab to death later, never gave me the message. 306 00:22:36,342 --> 00:22:39,004 I don't know. Perhaps, um, 307 00:22:39,078 --> 00:22:43,412 I could drop round for tea later or something. 308 00:22:43,483 --> 00:22:48,477 - Things are pretty busy here. I might be free around 4:00. - Right. Right. Great. 309 00:22:48,554 --> 00:22:51,284 - Bye. - Yea- Bye. 310 00:22:56,963 --> 00:22:58,897 Classic. 311 00:23:03,803 --> 00:23:05,737 Classic. 312 00:23:43,676 --> 00:23:46,338 - Which floor? - Three, please. 313 00:24:14,774 --> 00:24:17,504 Uh, are you sure this is- 314 00:24:17,577 --> 00:24:20,273 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Sure. 315 00:24:31,557 --> 00:24:33,491 - Hi. Hi. I'm Karen. - Hi. 316 00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:36,084 I'm sorry. Things are running a little bit late. 317 00:24:36,162 --> 00:24:40,258 Here's the, uh, thing. Do you wanna come this way? 318 00:24:40,333 --> 00:24:43,063 Through here. 319 00:24:47,140 --> 00:24:49,574 So what did you think of the film? 320 00:24:49,642 --> 00:24:52,440 Yeah, I thought it was fantastic. I thought it was, uh, 321 00:24:52,512 --> 00:24:56,073 Close Encounters meets Jean de Florette. 322 00:24:58,151 --> 00:25:00,085 I agree. 323 00:25:00,153 --> 00:25:03,088 I'm sorry. I didn't get down what magazines you're from. 324 00:25:03,156 --> 00:25:05,647 - Time Out. - Great. 325 00:25:05,725 --> 00:25:08,694 And you're from? 326 00:25:11,597 --> 00:25:15,693 Uh, Horse & Hound. 327 00:25:20,139 --> 00:25:23,734 The name's William Thacker. I think, actually, she might be expecting me. 328 00:25:23,810 --> 00:25:26,608 Oh, okay. Take a seat and I'll go check. 329 00:25:30,183 --> 00:25:33,584 I see you've, uh- I see you've brought her some flowers. 330 00:25:33,653 --> 00:25:36,588 No. 331 00:25:36,656 --> 00:25:39,989 These are for my, um, grandmother. 332 00:25:40,059 --> 00:25:42,823 She's in a hospital just down the road. 333 00:25:42,895 --> 00:25:45,625 Thought I'd kill two birds with one stone, you know. 334 00:25:45,698 --> 00:25:48,963 Sure, right. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. 335 00:25:49,035 --> 00:25:51,765 Which hospital's that? 336 00:25:51,838 --> 00:25:53,965 Do you mind me not saying? 337 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,304 It's a rather distressing disease. 338 00:25:56,375 --> 00:25:59,105 - Name of the hospital kind of gives it away. - Absolutely. Sure. 339 00:25:59,178 --> 00:26:01,112 Cheers. Ooh, yes. 340 00:26:01,180 --> 00:26:03,978 Right, uh, Mr. Thacker. Will you come this way. 341 00:26:04,050 --> 00:26:06,450 Right. 342 00:26:06,519 --> 00:26:09,386 You've got five minutes. 343 00:26:18,164 --> 00:26:21,361 - Hi. - Hello. 344 00:26:21,434 --> 00:26:25,393 Uh, I brought these, but clearly- 345 00:26:25,471 --> 00:26:29,271 No, they're great. They're great. 346 00:26:29,342 --> 00:26:32,209 Ah, listen, I'm sorry about not ringing back. 347 00:26:32,278 --> 00:26:34,212 The whole "two-names concept"... 348 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,805 was totally too much for my flatmate's pea-sized intellect. 349 00:26:36,883 --> 00:26:40,717 No, it's a stupid privacy thing. I always pick a... cartoon character. 350 00:26:40,786 --> 00:26:42,981 Last time I was Mrs. Bambi. 351 00:26:45,892 --> 00:26:49,123 - Everything all right? - Yes, thank you. 352 00:26:49,195 --> 00:26:51,993 And you're from, uh, Horse & Hound. 353 00:26:52,064 --> 00:26:54,658 - Yeah. - Good. 354 00:26:54,734 --> 00:26:57,464 Is that so? Well. 355 00:27:03,442 --> 00:27:05,569 So, uh- 356 00:27:08,681 --> 00:27:13,914 Uh, I'll just... fire away then, shall I? 357 00:27:15,488 --> 00:27:17,547 Right. 358 00:27:17,623 --> 00:27:19,557 Uh- 359 00:27:20,993 --> 00:27:24,326 The film's great, and, um, 360 00:27:24,397 --> 00:27:27,389 I just was wondering whether... 361 00:27:27,466 --> 00:27:29,627 you ever thought of having, um, 362 00:27:29,702 --> 00:27:33,433 more, uh, horses in it. 363 00:27:36,576 --> 00:27:40,103 Uh, well, we would have liked to, 364 00:27:40,179 --> 00:27:45,515 but it was, um, difficult, obviously, being set in space. 365 00:27:47,019 --> 00:27:50,853 Space, right, yeah. Yeah, obviously very difficult. 366 00:27:52,258 --> 00:27:54,192 I'm so sorry. I arrived outside. 367 00:27:54,260 --> 00:27:56,228 They thrust this thing into my hand- 368 00:27:56,295 --> 00:27:59,594 No, it's my fault. I thought this would all be over by now. 369 00:27:59,665 --> 00:28:02,395 I just wanted to sort of apologize for the kissing thing. 370 00:28:02,468 --> 00:28:04,402 I seriously don't know what came over me. 371 00:28:04,470 --> 00:28:07,462 And I just wanted to make sure that you were fine about it. 372 00:28:09,308 --> 00:28:14,769 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely fine. 373 00:28:14,847 --> 00:28:19,011 Do remember that Miss Scott is also keen to talk about her next project... 374 00:28:19,085 --> 00:28:22,782 which is, um, shooting later in the summer. 375 00:28:22,855 --> 00:28:26,313 Ah, yes, excellent. Excellent. 376 00:28:31,297 --> 00:28:35,427 Any horses in that one? 377 00:28:35,501 --> 00:28:40,939 Or hounds for that matter. Our readers are equally intrigued by both species. 378 00:28:41,007 --> 00:28:43,805 It takes place on a submarine. 379 00:28:43,876 --> 00:28:47,334 Oh. Well, bad luck. 380 00:28:48,748 --> 00:28:51,376 But, um, 381 00:28:51,450 --> 00:28:53,748 if there were horses in it, 382 00:28:53,819 --> 00:28:56,413 would you be riding them... 383 00:28:56,489 --> 00:29:01,119 or would you be getting, a- a stunt-horse-double-man-thing? 384 00:29:03,529 --> 00:29:08,364 I- I'm a complete moron. I apologize. I- 385 00:29:08,434 --> 00:29:12,336 This is very weird. It's the sort of thing that happens in dreams, 386 00:29:12,405 --> 00:29:14,999 not in real life. 387 00:29:15,074 --> 00:29:17,565 I mean, good dreams. It's a- 388 00:29:17,643 --> 00:29:21,204 It's a dream, in fact, uh, to see you again. 389 00:29:22,782 --> 00:29:26,445 What happens next in the dream? 390 00:29:28,321 --> 00:29:32,690 I suppose in the, uh, dream- 391 00:29:32,758 --> 00:29:36,319 dream scenario- I just, uh, 392 00:29:36,395 --> 00:29:38,590 change my personality... 393 00:29:38,664 --> 00:29:41,292 because you can do that in dreams and, um, 394 00:29:43,669 --> 00:29:47,935 walk over and, uh, kiss the girl. 395 00:29:48,007 --> 00:29:50,635 But, uh- 396 00:29:58,317 --> 00:30:02,048 Time's up, I'm afraid. Did you get what you wanted? 397 00:30:02,121 --> 00:30:07,308 - Um, nearly, nearly. - Well, maybe just one last question. 398 00:30:08,716 --> 00:30:11,344 - Sure. - Right, right. 399 00:30:14,989 --> 00:30:18,390 Are you... busy tonight? 400 00:30:18,459 --> 00:30:23,362 - Yes. - Right. Right. 401 00:30:24,933 --> 00:30:28,892 - Come in. - Well, it was nice to meet you. 402 00:30:28,970 --> 00:30:31,234 Yes, and you. 403 00:30:31,306 --> 00:30:33,740 Surreal... but nice. 404 00:30:33,808 --> 00:30:38,211 Thank you. You are Horse & Hounds' favorite actress. 405 00:30:39,581 --> 00:30:42,049 You and Black Beauty... 406 00:30:42,116 --> 00:30:44,050 tied. 407 00:30:49,157 --> 00:30:51,091 How was she? 408 00:30:51,159 --> 00:30:54,651 Oh, um, fabulous. 409 00:30:54,729 --> 00:30:58,825 Excellent. Wait a minute. She took your grandmother's flowers. 410 00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:02,461 Uh, yeah, yeah. That's right. 411 00:31:02,537 --> 00:31:04,596 - Bitch. - Oh, Mr. Thacker. 412 00:31:04,672 --> 00:31:09,109 Mr. Thacker, if you'd like to come with me, we can rush you through the others. 413 00:31:09,177 --> 00:31:10,610 The others? 414 00:31:10,678 --> 00:31:13,272 Mr. Thacker is from Horse & Hound. 415 00:31:16,251 --> 00:31:18,947 - How's it going? - Very well, thank you. 416 00:31:19,020 --> 00:31:22,217 Have a seat. 417 00:31:22,290 --> 00:31:25,487 Well, did you enjoy the film? 418 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,620 Yes, enormously. 419 00:31:28,696 --> 00:31:30,527 - Well, fire away. - Right. 420 00:31:32,100 --> 00:31:34,432 Did you enjoy making the film? 421 00:31:34,502 --> 00:31:38,404 - Yes, I did. - Good. 422 00:31:38,473 --> 00:31:40,941 Any bit in particular? 423 00:31:41,009 --> 00:31:44,137 You tell me what bit you enjoyed the most, 424 00:31:44,212 --> 00:31:47,204 and I'll tell you if I enjoyed making that bit. 425 00:31:49,250 --> 00:31:52,981 Uh, I... 426 00:31:53,054 --> 00:31:56,080 liked the bit in space... 427 00:31:56,157 --> 00:31:58,091 very much. 428 00:31:58,159 --> 00:32:01,720 Did you identify with the character you're playing? 429 00:32:05,466 --> 00:32:09,562 - No. - No. 430 00:32:11,472 --> 00:32:15,238 Oh. Why not? 431 00:32:21,683 --> 00:32:25,346 Because he's playing a psychopathic flesh-eating robot. 432 00:32:25,420 --> 00:32:27,650 Classic. 433 00:32:27,722 --> 00:32:30,520 So, uh, 434 00:32:30,591 --> 00:32:33,185 is this your first film? 435 00:32:33,261 --> 00:32:36,128 No. It's my 22nd. 436 00:32:36,197 --> 00:32:40,133 Of course it is. Any favorites among the 22? 437 00:32:41,569 --> 00:32:43,503 Working with Leonardo. 438 00:32:43,571 --> 00:32:47,632 - Da Vinci? - DiCaprio. 439 00:32:47,709 --> 00:32:50,576 Of course. 440 00:32:50,645 --> 00:32:54,638 And is- is he your favorite Italian director? 441 00:32:59,187 --> 00:33:02,315 - Mr. Thacker. - Oh, no. 442 00:33:02,390 --> 00:33:05,188 - Have you got a minute? - No. 443 00:33:11,132 --> 00:33:12,690 Hi. 444 00:33:14,869 --> 00:33:16,803 Hi. 445 00:33:16,871 --> 00:33:20,568 Um- Yeah, so the, um- 446 00:33:20,641 --> 00:33:24,907 the- the thing I was doing tonight, I'm not doing anymore. 447 00:33:24,979 --> 00:33:27,470 I told them I had to spend the evening... 448 00:33:27,548 --> 00:33:31,348 with Britain's premier equestrian journalist. 449 00:33:31,419 --> 00:33:34,513 Oh. Well, great. 450 00:33:34,589 --> 00:33:36,784 Fantastic. That's, uh- 451 00:33:36,858 --> 00:33:40,089 Oh. Shittity brickitty. 452 00:33:40,161 --> 00:33:43,722 It's my sister's birthday. Shit. We're meant to be having dinner. 453 00:33:43,798 --> 00:33:46,699 - Okay, that's fine. - No. I'm sure I can get out of it. 454 00:33:46,768 --> 00:33:50,226 No, I mean, if it's fine with you, I'll be your date. 455 00:33:51,806 --> 00:33:54,900 You- You'll be my date... 456 00:33:54,976 --> 00:33:57,706 to my little sister's birthday party? 457 00:33:57,779 --> 00:34:01,545 - If it's all right. - Well, yeah, I'm sure it's all right. 458 00:34:01,616 --> 00:34:03,481 My friend Max is cooking, 459 00:34:03,551 --> 00:34:06,543 and he is generally acknowledged to be the worst cook in the world. 460 00:34:06,621 --> 00:34:11,058 But, um, you know, you could hide the food in your handbag or something. 461 00:34:11,125 --> 00:34:15,357 - Okay. - Okay. 462 00:34:17,365 --> 00:34:21,267 - He's bringing a girl? - Miracles do happen. 463 00:34:21,335 --> 00:34:25,431 - Does the girl have a name? - Don't know. Wouldn't say. 464 00:34:25,506 --> 00:34:28,236 Oh, Christ! What is going on in there? 465 00:34:28,309 --> 00:34:32,109 Oh, God! 466 00:34:34,315 --> 00:34:37,113 Hi. Come on in. Vague food crisis. 467 00:34:43,024 --> 00:34:45,049 Hiya! Sorry. 468 00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:48,061 The guinea-fowl is proving more complicated than expected. 469 00:34:48,129 --> 00:34:51,064 - He's cooking guinea-fowl? - Don't even ask. 470 00:34:51,132 --> 00:34:53,999 - Hi. - Hi. 471 00:34:54,068 --> 00:34:56,662 Good Lord, you're the spitting image of- 472 00:34:56,737 --> 00:34:58,728 Bella, this is Anna. 473 00:35:00,508 --> 00:35:02,635 - Right. - Okay, crisis over. 474 00:35:02,710 --> 00:35:05,645 Max, this is Anna. 475 00:35:05,713 --> 00:35:09,149 - Hi. - Hello, Anna- 476 00:35:09,217 --> 00:35:11,981 Scott. Have some wine. 477 00:35:12,053 --> 00:35:14,317 Thank you. 478 00:35:14,388 --> 00:35:16,151 I'll get it. 479 00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,094 Red or white? 480 00:35:21,162 --> 00:35:23,926 - Oh. Hey. - Hi. 481 00:35:23,998 --> 00:35:27,525 - Oh, yes, happy birthday. - Thank you. 482 00:35:27,602 --> 00:35:29,832 Look, your brother's brought this girl. 483 00:35:29,904 --> 00:35:31,337 Hi, guys. 484 00:35:32,673 --> 00:35:34,664 Oh, holy fuck! 485 00:35:34,742 --> 00:35:38,200 Hon, this is Anna. Anna, this is Honey. She's my baby sister. 486 00:35:38,279 --> 00:35:40,304 Oh. Hi. 487 00:35:40,381 --> 00:35:43,282 Oh, God. This is one of those key moments in life... 488 00:35:43,351 --> 00:35:46,286 when it's possible you can be really genuinely cool... 489 00:35:46,354 --> 00:35:51,519 and I- I'm going to fail just a hundred percent. 490 00:35:53,561 --> 00:35:57,998 I- I absolutely, totally and utterly adore you. 491 00:35:58,065 --> 00:36:02,365 And I just think... you are the most beautiful woman in the world. 492 00:36:02,436 --> 00:36:05,633 And, more importantly, I genuinely believe, 493 00:36:05,706 --> 00:36:10,643 and I've believed for some time now, that we could be best friends. 494 00:36:10,711 --> 00:36:13,646 So what do you think? 495 00:36:15,716 --> 00:36:17,684 Uh, lucky me. 496 00:36:19,620 --> 00:36:22,350 Well, happy birthday. 497 00:36:22,423 --> 00:36:27,486 Oh, you gave me a present. We're best friends already then. 498 00:36:27,562 --> 00:36:30,258 Marry Will. He's a really nice guy. Then we can be sisters. 499 00:36:30,331 --> 00:36:32,697 Well, I'll think about it. 500 00:36:34,569 --> 00:36:37,094 That'll be Bernie. 501 00:36:38,306 --> 00:36:40,638 - Hi. - Hi. Sorry I'm late. 502 00:36:40,708 --> 00:36:43,643 Bollocksed up at work again, I fear. 503 00:36:43,711 --> 00:36:46,236 - Millions down the drain. - Well done. 504 00:36:46,314 --> 00:36:49,477 - Bernie, this is Anna. - Hello, Anna. Delighted to meet you. 505 00:36:49,550 --> 00:36:53,418 - And you. - Honey bunny, Happy birthday to you 506 00:36:53,487 --> 00:36:56,285 - Hi, Bella. - Hi. 507 00:36:56,357 --> 00:37:00,020 Um, it- it- it's a hat. You don't have to wear it or anything. 508 00:37:00,094 --> 00:37:03,029 - Hi, Will. - Hi. 509 00:37:03,097 --> 00:37:05,895 Hi. 510 00:37:05,967 --> 00:37:08,595 - Hi. - What? 511 00:37:08,669 --> 00:37:10,637 - Wine, Bernie? - Mm. 512 00:37:10,705 --> 00:37:13,139 You haven't slept with her, have you? 513 00:37:13,207 --> 00:37:15,641 That is a cheap question, and the answer is, of course, no comment. 514 00:37:15,710 --> 00:37:17,644 - No comment means "yes." - No, it doesn't. 515 00:37:17,712 --> 00:37:19,646 - Do you ever masturbate? - Definitely no comment. 516 00:37:19,714 --> 00:37:22,376 - You see, it means "yes." - Oh, my God! 517 00:37:22,450 --> 00:37:26,978 So, uh, tell me, um, Anna, what do you do? 518 00:37:27,054 --> 00:37:30,820 - I'm an actress. - Oh, splendid. 519 00:37:30,891 --> 00:37:32,916 What do you do? 520 00:37:32,994 --> 00:37:36,760 I'm actually in the stock market myself, so, uh, not really similar fields. 521 00:37:36,831 --> 00:37:39,959 Though, um- um, I have done the odd bit of amateur stuff. 522 00:37:40,034 --> 00:37:44,528 Um- uh, P.G. Wodehouse. Farce, all that, you know. 523 00:37:44,605 --> 00:37:47,233 "Careful there, Vicar." 524 00:37:47,308 --> 00:37:50,573 Always imagined it's a pretty tough job, though, acting. 525 00:37:50,645 --> 00:37:54,638 - The wages are a scandal, aren't they? - They can be. 526 00:37:54,715 --> 00:37:56,683 I see friends from university- clever chaps. 527 00:37:56,751 --> 00:37:58,719 Been in the business longer than you. 528 00:37:58,786 --> 00:38:03,519 They're scraping by on seven, eight thousand a year. 529 00:38:03,591 --> 00:38:05,923 You know, it's no life. 530 00:38:05,993 --> 00:38:10,362 - What sort of acting do you do? - Films, mainly. 531 00:38:10,431 --> 00:38:15,334 Oh, splendid. Oh, well done. How's the pay in movies? 532 00:38:15,403 --> 00:38:20,306 I mean, last film you did, what did you get paid? 533 00:38:20,374 --> 00:38:22,604 Fifteen million dollars. 534 00:38:23,678 --> 00:38:25,612 Right. 535 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:29,878 So that's, well, fairly good. 536 00:38:29,950 --> 00:38:32,009 Right, I think we're ready. 537 00:38:32,086 --> 00:38:34,020 - Ooh. - Okay. 538 00:38:34,088 --> 00:38:36,022 Bella, can you tell me where I can find- 539 00:38:36,090 --> 00:38:38,149 Oh, sorry. It's down the corridor on the right. 540 00:38:38,225 --> 00:38:40,284 I'll show you. 541 00:38:43,230 --> 00:38:45,721 Quickly, quickly. Talk very, very quickly. 542 00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,427 What are you doing here with Anna Scott? 543 00:38:47,501 --> 00:38:49,492 - Anna Scott? - Yes. Shut up! 544 00:38:49,570 --> 00:38:51,561 - What, the film star? - Shh! 545 00:38:51,639 --> 00:38:54,267 - Oh, God! - What? 546 00:38:54,341 --> 00:38:57,174 - Oh, God. Oh, goddy God. - What did you say to her? 547 00:38:57,244 --> 00:39:00,702 I don't believe it. I actually walked into the loo with her. 548 00:39:00,781 --> 00:39:03,648 I was still chatting when she started unbuttoning her jeans. 549 00:39:03,718 --> 00:39:06,152 - She had to ask me to leave. - Oh, God. 550 00:39:06,220 --> 00:39:08,188 So you knew who she was? 551 00:39:08,255 --> 00:39:10,519 Of course I did, but he didn't. 552 00:39:10,591 --> 00:39:14,652 Well, not instantly, but I- I- I got away with it. 553 00:39:17,732 --> 00:39:22,499 - What do you think of the guinea-fowl? - I'm a vegetarian. 554 00:39:22,570 --> 00:39:25,004 Oh, God. 555 00:39:25,072 --> 00:39:27,870 So, how's the guinea-fowl? 556 00:39:27,942 --> 00:39:31,343 Best guinea-fowl I've ever tasted. 557 00:39:31,412 --> 00:39:33,937 It's amazing how you 558 00:39:34,014 --> 00:39:36,710 Can speak right to my heart 559 00:39:42,289 --> 00:39:45,690 Without saying a word 560 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:49,696 You can light up the dark 561 00:39:53,667 --> 00:39:58,934 Try as I may, I can never explain 562 00:39:59,006 --> 00:40:05,021 - What I hear when you don't say a thing 563 00:40:05,155 --> 00:40:09,091 Having you here, Anna, firmly establishes what I've long suspected- 564 00:40:09,159 --> 00:40:11,957 that we really are the most desperate lot of underachievers. 565 00:40:12,028 --> 00:40:14,963 - Shame. - I'm not saying it's a bad thing. 566 00:40:15,031 --> 00:40:18,432 In fact, I think it's something we should take pride in. 567 00:40:18,501 --> 00:40:21,766 I'm gonna give the last brownie as a prize... 568 00:40:21,838 --> 00:40:24,238 to the saddest act here. 569 00:40:24,307 --> 00:40:27,037 - Uh-oh. - Bern. 570 00:40:27,110 --> 00:40:30,341 Yeah, all right. Well, obviously, it's me, isn't it? 571 00:40:30,413 --> 00:40:33,473 I mean, I work in the city in a job I don't understand, 572 00:40:33,550 --> 00:40:35,984 and everyone keeps getting promoted above me. 573 00:40:36,052 --> 00:40:38,612 I haven't had a girlfriend since- well, since puberty. 574 00:40:38,688 --> 00:40:41,748 And... nobody fancies me. 575 00:40:41,825 --> 00:40:44,385 And if these cheeks get any chubbier, they never will. 576 00:40:44,461 --> 00:40:48,261 - Nonsense. I fancy you. - Really? 577 00:40:48,331 --> 00:40:50,925 Yeah. Or I did before you got so fat. 578 00:40:51,001 --> 00:40:53,936 You see. And unless I'm much mistaken, 579 00:40:54,004 --> 00:40:56,632 your job still pays you rather a lot of money... 580 00:40:56,706 --> 00:40:59,140 whilst Honey here earns 20 pence a week... 581 00:40:59,209 --> 00:41:02,042 flogging her guts out in London's worst record store. 582 00:41:02,112 --> 00:41:05,240 Yes! And I haven't got hair. I've got feathers. 583 00:41:05,315 --> 00:41:09,149 And I've got funny goggly eyes. And I'm attracted to cruel men. 584 00:41:09,219 --> 00:41:11,779 And, actually, no one will marry me... 585 00:41:11,855 --> 00:41:14,983 because, um, my boosies have actually started shrinking. 586 00:41:15,058 --> 00:41:17,492 - You see, it's incredibly sad. - But on the other hand, 587 00:41:17,560 --> 00:41:19,323 her best friend is Anna Scott. 588 00:41:19,396 --> 00:41:22,854 That's true. I can't deny it. She needs me. What can I say? 589 00:41:24,034 --> 00:41:27,629 And most of her limbs work, whereas I'm stuck in this thing day and night, 590 00:41:27,704 --> 00:41:29,729 in a house full of ramps. 591 00:41:29,806 --> 00:41:32,673 And to add insult to serious injury, 592 00:41:32,742 --> 00:41:38,009 I've totally given up smoking, my favorite thing. 593 00:41:38,081 --> 00:41:42,450 And, um, well, the truth is, 594 00:41:42,519 --> 00:41:44,714 we can't have a baby. 595 00:41:50,393 --> 00:41:52,486 Oh, Belle. 596 00:41:52,562 --> 00:41:56,020 C'est la vie. 597 00:41:57,701 --> 00:42:01,569 Still, um, we're lucky in lots of ways. 598 00:42:01,638 --> 00:42:04,664 But surely that's worth a brownie. 599 00:42:06,242 --> 00:42:11,509 Well, I don't know. Look at William. 600 00:42:11,581 --> 00:42:14,744 - Very unsuccessful professionally. - That's true. 601 00:42:14,818 --> 00:42:19,687 Divorced. Used to be handsome, now kind of squidgy round the edges. 602 00:42:20,890 --> 00:42:23,688 And absolutely certain never to hear from Anna again... 603 00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,820 - once she's heard that his nickname at school was- - Floppy. 604 00:42:26,896 --> 00:42:30,059 You did. I can't believe it, you did. 605 00:42:30,133 --> 00:42:33,534 Thanks very much. Thank you. Well, at least I get the last brownie. 606 00:42:33,603 --> 00:42:35,537 I think so, yes. 607 00:42:35,605 --> 00:42:37,573 Well, wait. What about me? 608 00:42:39,142 --> 00:42:43,203 I'm sorry? You think you deserve the brownie? 609 00:42:43,279 --> 00:42:47,511 Well, a shot at it at least, huh? 610 00:42:47,584 --> 00:42:50,519 You'll have to prove it. This is a very, very good brownie. 611 00:42:50,587 --> 00:42:53,249 I'm gonna fight for it. 612 00:42:53,323 --> 00:42:56,690 I've been on a diet every day since I was 19, 613 00:42:56,760 --> 00:43:00,093 which basically means I've been hungry for a decade. 614 00:43:02,332 --> 00:43:05,927 I've had a series of not-nice boyfriends, one of whom hit me. 615 00:43:06,002 --> 00:43:09,062 Uh, and every time I get my heart broken, 616 00:43:09,139 --> 00:43:13,473 the newspapers splash it about as though it's entertainment. 617 00:43:15,478 --> 00:43:20,643 And... it's taken two rather painful, um, operations... 618 00:43:20,717 --> 00:43:22,708 to get me looking like this. 619 00:43:22,786 --> 00:43:25,914 - Really? - Really. 620 00:43:28,057 --> 00:43:32,858 And one day not long from now, my looks will go, 621 00:43:32,929 --> 00:43:35,762 they will discover I can't act, 622 00:43:35,832 --> 00:43:40,701 and I will become some sad, middle-aged woman... 623 00:43:40,770 --> 00:43:45,571 who... looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while. 624 00:43:53,516 --> 00:43:55,984 No, nice try, gorgeous, but you don't fool anyone. 625 00:43:56,052 --> 00:43:58,646 No. 626 00:43:58,721 --> 00:44:00,689 Pathetic effort to hog the brownie. 627 00:44:02,692 --> 00:44:06,128 - Thank you for such a terrific time. - I'm delighted. 628 00:44:07,564 --> 00:44:10,499 - That's a great tie. - Now you're lying. 629 00:44:10,567 --> 00:44:13,195 Okay, it's true. I told you I was bad at acting. 630 00:44:13,269 --> 00:44:15,737 - It was lovely to meet you. - Yeah, and you. And you. 631 00:44:15,805 --> 00:44:18,569 I'll wait until you've gone before I tell him you're a vegetarian. 632 00:44:18,641 --> 00:44:21,439 - No! - Oh! 633 00:44:23,012 --> 00:44:26,504 - Good night. - I'm so sorry about the loo thing. 634 00:44:26,583 --> 00:44:29,108 I meant to leave. I just- 635 00:44:29,185 --> 00:44:31,619 Ring me if you want someone to go shopping with. 636 00:44:31,688 --> 00:44:35,215 I know lots of nice, cheap places, not that money is necessarily- 637 00:44:35,291 --> 00:44:37,225 It was just so nice to meet you. 638 00:44:37,293 --> 00:44:40,194 - Happy birthday. You're my style guru. - Thank you. 639 00:44:40,263 --> 00:44:42,424 - Sorry. Can I just- - Oh. 640 00:44:42,498 --> 00:44:44,432 - Thanks. - Leave her. 641 00:44:44,500 --> 00:44:46,434 - Good night, everyone. - Bye. 642 00:44:46,502 --> 00:44:49,403 Max, Belle, we'll see you in a couple of days. 643 00:44:49,472 --> 00:44:51,997 - Thank you, everybody. Call us. - Bye, guys. 644 00:44:52,075 --> 00:44:54,737 - Bye, Anna. - Love your work. 645 00:44:54,811 --> 00:44:57,245 Bye, Hon. 646 00:45:03,653 --> 00:45:07,612 Sorry. They always do that when I leave the house. 647 00:45:07,690 --> 00:45:11,353 It's a stupid thing. I hate it. 648 00:45:21,437 --> 00:45:24,133 - "Floppy," huh? - It's the hair. 649 00:45:24,207 --> 00:45:26,607 - Mm-hmm. - It's to do with the hair. 650 00:45:29,178 --> 00:45:31,510 Why is she in a wheelchair? 651 00:45:31,581 --> 00:45:36,018 Uh, because she had an accident about 18 months ago. 652 00:45:36,085 --> 00:45:39,248 And the pregnancy thing, is that to do with the accident? 653 00:45:39,322 --> 00:45:40,755 You know, I'm not sure. 654 00:45:40,823 --> 00:45:44,122 I don't think they tried for kids before, as fate would have it. 655 00:45:52,635 --> 00:45:55,661 Do you want to, um- 656 00:45:55,738 --> 00:45:58,866 My place is just, um- 657 00:45:58,942 --> 00:46:01,103 Too complicated. 658 00:46:01,177 --> 00:46:03,475 That's fine. 659 00:46:08,384 --> 00:46:10,579 Busy tomorrow? 660 00:46:12,655 --> 00:46:16,091 - I thought you were leaving tomorrow. - I was. 661 00:46:18,928 --> 00:46:23,558 All these streets round here have these mysterious communal gardens in the middle of them. 662 00:46:23,633 --> 00:46:25,999 - They're like little villages. - Let's go in. 663 00:46:26,069 --> 00:46:28,663 Ah, no, that's the point. They're private villages. 664 00:46:28,738 --> 00:46:31,673 Only the people who live round the edges are allowed in. 665 00:46:31,741 --> 00:46:35,074 Oh. You abide by rules like that? 666 00:46:35,144 --> 00:46:37,476 I don't. No, no. But others do. 667 00:46:37,547 --> 00:46:39,947 I just do what I want. 668 00:46:40,016 --> 00:46:42,951 Um- Right. 669 00:46:46,222 --> 00:46:49,089 Whoopsidaisies. 670 00:46:49,158 --> 00:46:51,683 What did you say? 671 00:46:51,761 --> 00:46:54,423 - Nothing. - Yes, you did. 672 00:46:54,497 --> 00:46:58,627 - No, I didn't. - You said, "Whoopsidaisies." 673 00:46:58,701 --> 00:47:02,000 No one says, "Whoopsidaisies," do they? I mean, unless they're- 674 00:47:02,071 --> 00:47:05,438 There is no "unless." Because no one has said "Whoopsidaisies" for 50 years. 675 00:47:05,508 --> 00:47:09,376 And even then it was- it was just little girls with blonde ringlets. 676 00:47:09,445 --> 00:47:13,609 Exactly. Right. So here we go again. 677 00:47:15,551 --> 00:47:18,486 Oh! Oh! Whoopsidaisies. 678 00:47:20,056 --> 00:47:22,684 Yeah, well, it's a disease. It's a clinical thing. 679 00:47:22,759 --> 00:47:26,525 I'm taking pills and having injections. And I'm told it won't last long. 680 00:47:26,596 --> 00:47:29,565 - Okay, stand aside. - I don't think that's a good idea. 681 00:47:29,632 --> 00:47:32,624 Really, it's quite, um, tricky. Anna. 682 00:47:34,303 --> 00:47:38,501 Anna, don't. It's harder than it- No, it's not. It's easy. 683 00:47:46,582 --> 00:47:48,516 Come on, Flopsy. 684 00:47:48,584 --> 00:47:50,745 Right. 685 00:47:50,820 --> 00:47:53,345 All right. 686 00:47:53,423 --> 00:47:57,382 Oh, bugger. 687 00:47:57,460 --> 00:48:00,952 Oh, God, this could be very unpleasant. 688 00:48:04,702 --> 00:48:08,502 Ay! Bugger, bugger. 689 00:48:12,043 --> 00:48:17,310 Now what in the world in this garden could make that ordeal worthwhile? 690 00:48:21,986 --> 00:48:25,012 It's amazing how you 691 00:48:25,089 --> 00:48:28,388 Can speak right to my heart 692 00:48:30,595 --> 00:48:33,325 Nice garden. 693 00:48:33,398 --> 00:48:36,390 Without saying a word 694 00:48:36,467 --> 00:48:40,164 You can light up the dark 695 00:48:44,008 --> 00:48:49,446 Try as I may, I can never explain 696 00:48:49,514 --> 00:48:55,714 What I hear when you don't say a thing 697 00:48:58,990 --> 00:49:02,289 - You say it best - You say it best 698 00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:05,591 When you say nothing at all 699 00:49:05,663 --> 00:49:08,632 "For June who loved this garden. 700 00:49:08,700 --> 00:49:11,999 From Joseph who always sat beside her." 701 00:49:15,740 --> 00:49:19,039 Some people do spend their whole lives together. 702 00:49:27,018 --> 00:49:29,543 All day long I can hear 703 00:49:29,621 --> 00:49:32,385 People talking out loud 704 00:49:38,029 --> 00:49:41,556 - But when you hold me near - When you hold me near 705 00:49:41,633 --> 00:49:48,562 - You drown out the crowd - Out the crowd 706 00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:54,579 - Try as they may they can never define - Come and sit with me. 707 00:49:54,646 --> 00:50:00,812 What's been said between your heart and mine 708 00:50:00,885 --> 00:50:06,084 The smile on your face lets me know that you need me 709 00:50:06,157 --> 00:50:08,091 There's a truth in your eyes 710 00:50:08,226 --> 00:50:10,854 - Saying you'll never leave me - Bollocks! Bollocks! 711 00:50:10,928 --> 00:50:13,829 - Have you seen my glasses? - No, afraid not. 712 00:50:13,898 --> 00:50:18,096 Big, big bollocks! Average day, my glasses are everywhere. 713 00:50:18,169 --> 00:50:20,603 Everywhere I look there's a pair of glasses. 714 00:50:20,672 --> 00:50:23,402 But when I want to go to the cinema, they've vanished. 715 00:50:23,474 --> 00:50:25,408 It's one of life's real cruelties. 716 00:50:25,476 --> 00:50:28,934 That's compared to, like, earthquakes in the Far East or testicular cancer, is it? 717 00:50:29,013 --> 00:50:31,345 Oh, shit. Is that the time? 718 00:50:31,416 --> 00:50:35,011 - Thanks for all your help on the glasses thing. 719 00:50:35,086 --> 00:50:37,452 Oh, you're welcome. Did you find them? 720 00:50:37,522 --> 00:50:39,490 - Sort of. - Great. 721 00:50:48,566 --> 00:50:55,904 Oh, the smile on your face lets me know that you need me 722 00:50:55,973 --> 00:50:57,907 There's a truth in your eyes 723 00:50:57,975 --> 00:51:02,639 Saying you'll never leave me 724 00:51:04,415 --> 00:51:09,580 The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall 725 00:51:09,654 --> 00:51:11,588 So who left who? 726 00:51:11,656 --> 00:51:14,557 - Uh, she left me. - Why? 727 00:51:14,625 --> 00:51:17,924 - She saw through me. - Uh-oh. 728 00:51:17,995 --> 00:51:21,330 That's not good. 729 00:51:21,399 --> 00:51:23,629 You can give me Anna Scott any day. 730 00:51:23,701 --> 00:51:26,602 I didn't like her last film. Fell asleep as soon as the lights went down. 731 00:51:26,671 --> 00:51:28,605 I don't really care what the film's like. 732 00:51:28,673 --> 00:51:31,403 Any film with her in, it's fine by me. 733 00:51:33,444 --> 00:51:35,605 She's not my type at all. I prefer the other one. 734 00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:38,205 You know, blonde, sweet-looking. 735 00:51:38,282 --> 00:51:40,216 You know, what's-her-name. 736 00:51:40,284 --> 00:51:42,582 Has an orgasm every time you take her out for a cup of coffee. 737 00:51:42,653 --> 00:51:44,780 Meg Ryan. 738 00:51:44,856 --> 00:51:48,292 No, she's too wholesome. The point about Miss Scott is... 739 00:51:48,359 --> 00:51:51,294 she's got that twinkle in her eyes. 740 00:51:51,362 --> 00:51:54,058 Probably drug-induced. Spends most of her life in bloody rehab. 741 00:51:54,132 --> 00:51:56,726 Well, whatever. She's so clearly up for it. 742 00:51:56,801 --> 00:51:59,736 You see, most girls, they're all like, "Stay away, chum." 743 00:51:59,804 --> 00:52:03,900 But Anna, she is absolutely gagging for it. 744 00:52:05,977 --> 00:52:08,445 Do you know that in over 50% of the languages, 745 00:52:08,513 --> 00:52:12,313 the word for "actress" is the same as the word for "prostitute"? 746 00:52:12,383 --> 00:52:15,045 Where did you get that from? 747 00:52:15,119 --> 00:52:19,783 And Anna is your definitive actress, 748 00:52:19,857 --> 00:52:23,657 someone really filthy you can just flip over and start again. 749 00:52:25,229 --> 00:52:28,494 - Right, that's it. Sorry. - No, no. There's really no point. 750 00:52:31,469 --> 00:52:33,664 Um, sorry- sorry to disturb you guys. 751 00:52:33,738 --> 00:52:36,172 - But, um- - Can I help? 752 00:52:36,240 --> 00:52:39,801 Well, yeah. I wish I hadn't overheard your conversation, but I did. 753 00:52:39,877 --> 00:52:42,471 And, um, I just think, you know, 754 00:52:42,547 --> 00:52:45,482 the person you're talking about is a real person. 755 00:52:45,550 --> 00:52:48,519 And I think she probably deserves a little bit more consideration... 756 00:52:48,586 --> 00:52:51,282 rather than having jerks like you drooling over her. 757 00:52:51,355 --> 00:52:54,017 Oh, sod off, mate. What are you, her dad? 758 00:53:01,732 --> 00:53:04,030 - I'm sorry. - No, I love that you tried. 759 00:53:04,101 --> 00:53:07,002 Time was I'd have done the same thing. In fact- 760 00:53:11,943 --> 00:53:13,877 Hi. 761 00:53:15,346 --> 00:53:17,371 Oh, my God. 762 00:53:17,448 --> 00:53:19,973 I just wanted to apologize for my friend. He's very sensitive. 763 00:53:20,051 --> 00:53:21,518 Uh, look, I'm sorr- 764 00:53:21,586 --> 00:53:24,521 No, no, leave it. It's, you know- I'm sure you didn't mean any harm. 765 00:53:24,589 --> 00:53:27,080 I'm sure it was just friendly banter. 766 00:53:27,158 --> 00:53:30,059 I'm sure you guys have dicks the size of peanuts. Enjoy your dinner. 767 00:53:30,127 --> 00:53:33,153 The tuna's really good. 768 00:53:35,433 --> 00:53:38,869 I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done that. 769 00:53:38,936 --> 00:53:41,871 - No, you were brilliant. - I'm rash and I'm stupid. 770 00:53:41,939 --> 00:53:45,033 What am I doing with you? 771 00:53:45,109 --> 00:53:47,737 Uh, I don't know, I'm afraid. 772 00:53:47,812 --> 00:53:49,746 I don't either. 773 00:53:54,252 --> 00:53:56,846 Here we are. 774 00:53:56,921 --> 00:53:58,855 Yes. 775 00:54:00,391 --> 00:54:02,723 - Well, look- - Do you wanna come up? 776 00:54:04,996 --> 00:54:09,899 Well, there seems to be... lots of reasons why I shouldn't, so- 777 00:54:09,967 --> 00:54:12,902 There are lots of reasons. 778 00:54:16,173 --> 00:54:19,404 Do you wanna come up? 779 00:54:22,813 --> 00:54:25,043 Give me five minutes? 780 00:54:42,366 --> 00:54:44,300 - Hi. - Hi. 781 00:54:47,138 --> 00:54:50,471 To be able to do that is such a wonderful thing. 782 00:54:50,541 --> 00:54:52,566 - You've got to go. - Why? 783 00:54:52,643 --> 00:54:57,774 Because my boyfriend who was in America is, in fact, now in the next room. 784 00:54:57,848 --> 00:55:00,078 - Boyfriend? - Yes. 785 00:55:00,151 --> 00:55:03,712 - Baby, who is it? - Uh, it's, uh- 786 00:55:04,822 --> 00:55:07,620 - Uh- - Uh, room service. 787 00:55:07,692 --> 00:55:12,322 Oh. How you doing? I thought you guys always wore those, uh, penguin coats. 788 00:55:13,397 --> 00:55:15,331 Usually we do. 789 00:55:15,399 --> 00:55:18,266 But I was just, uh- just changed to go home. 790 00:55:18,336 --> 00:55:22,568 And, um, then I thought I'd take this final call. 791 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:25,370 Oh, great. If you don't mind, I would like something too. 792 00:55:25,443 --> 00:55:28,003 Could you bring me up some really, really cold water? 793 00:55:28,079 --> 00:55:30,479 I'll see what I can do. 794 00:55:30,548 --> 00:55:34,985 - Still, not sparkling. - Absolutely. Ice-cold still water. 795 00:55:35,052 --> 00:55:38,488 Unless it's illegal in the U.K. to serve beverages below room temperature. 796 00:55:38,556 --> 00:55:42,458 I wouldn't want you going to jail just to satisfy my whim, now. 797 00:55:42,526 --> 00:55:45,689 - No, I'm sure it's fine. - Thank you. - I- 798 00:55:45,763 --> 00:55:49,824 Hey, one more thing. Could you adios these dirty dishes and take out that trash too? 799 00:55:52,837 --> 00:55:54,771 - Uh- - Right. 800 00:55:54,839 --> 00:55:57,273 No. No. Um, don't- don't- don't do that. 801 00:55:57,341 --> 00:55:59,707 I don't think it's his job to clear. 802 00:55:59,777 --> 00:56:04,009 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What's your name, man? 803 00:56:05,282 --> 00:56:07,216 Bernie. 804 00:56:07,284 --> 00:56:09,514 Oh, listen, Bernie. 805 00:56:09,587 --> 00:56:12,886 Thank you. I really appreciate it. 806 00:56:12,957 --> 00:56:14,891 Hey, you. 807 00:56:19,296 --> 00:56:24,233 So, tell me. Tell me, tell me. Good surprise or nasty surprise? 808 00:56:24,301 --> 00:56:27,134 - Good surprise. - Oh, you're such a liar. 809 00:56:27,204 --> 00:56:29,638 She hates surprises. Hey, what are you gonna order? 810 00:56:29,707 --> 00:56:32,642 - Huh? - From him. What are you gonna order? 811 00:56:32,710 --> 00:56:34,974 Um, I haven't decided yet. 812 00:56:35,046 --> 00:56:37,207 Oh, well, don't overdo it. 813 00:56:37,281 --> 00:56:41,308 I don't want people saying, "There goes that famous actor with the big, fat girlfriend." 814 00:56:43,621 --> 00:56:45,714 I should leave. 815 00:56:51,929 --> 00:56:55,387 This is a fairly strange reality to be faced with. 816 00:56:56,734 --> 00:56:58,668 I'm so sorry. 817 00:57:01,405 --> 00:57:03,703 I don't know... 818 00:57:03,774 --> 00:57:06,072 what to say. 819 00:57:06,143 --> 00:57:08,407 Well, 820 00:57:08,479 --> 00:57:10,640 I think, um, 821 00:57:10,715 --> 00:57:13,912 "good-bye" is traditional. 822 00:57:58,015 --> 00:58:00,142 I can think of younger days 823 00:58:02,686 --> 00:58:05,314 When living for my life 824 00:58:07,992 --> 00:58:10,085 Was everything 825 00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:12,594 A man could want to do 826 00:58:15,533 --> 00:58:19,094 I could never see 827 00:58:19,169 --> 00:58:25,472 Tomorrow 828 00:58:25,543 --> 00:58:29,570 I was never told 829 00:58:29,647 --> 00:58:34,516 About the sorrow 830 00:58:37,254 --> 00:58:40,087 And 831 00:58:40,157 --> 00:58:44,184 How can you mend 832 00:58:44,261 --> 00:58:47,719 A broken heart 833 00:58:51,268 --> 00:58:55,830 How can you stop the rain from falling down 834 00:58:58,509 --> 00:59:01,774 Tell me how can you stop 835 00:59:04,782 --> 00:59:09,014 That old sun from shining 836 00:59:09,086 --> 00:59:12,647 What makes the world 837 00:59:12,723 --> 00:59:16,454 Go round 838 00:59:16,527 --> 00:59:18,859 - And - Come on. 839 00:59:18,929 --> 00:59:21,830 - How can you mend - Open up. 840 00:59:21,899 --> 00:59:25,626 This is me. Spikey. 841 00:59:27,171 --> 00:59:31,403 I'm in contact with some quite important spiritual vibrations. 842 00:59:33,077 --> 00:59:36,911 Come on. Hit me with it. 843 00:59:40,651 --> 00:59:43,552 - There's this girl- - Aha. 844 00:59:43,621 --> 00:59:47,421 See, I been gettin' a female vibe. Good. 845 00:59:47,491 --> 00:59:50,119 Speak on, dear friend. 846 00:59:50,194 --> 00:59:52,754 She's someone who... 847 00:59:52,830 --> 00:59:55,924 can't be mine, and, uh, 848 00:59:58,135 --> 01:00:03,596 it's as if I've taken love heroin, and now I can't ever have it again. 849 01:00:03,674 --> 01:00:06,905 I've opened Pandora's box and there's trouble inside. 850 01:00:06,977 --> 01:00:08,911 Mmm. 851 01:00:10,981 --> 01:00:13,472 Yeah. 852 01:00:13,550 --> 01:00:18,154 Tricky. 853 01:00:20,391 --> 01:00:23,622 I knew a girl at school called Pandora. 854 01:00:26,463 --> 01:00:29,523 Never got to see her box or- 855 01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:31,534 Right. 856 01:00:31,602 --> 01:00:35,299 Right. Thanks. That's very helpful. 857 01:00:37,074 --> 01:00:40,669 You didn't know she had a boyfriend? 858 01:00:40,744 --> 01:00:43,235 No. No. 859 01:00:43,313 --> 01:00:45,247 Why? Did you? 860 01:00:46,817 --> 01:00:48,978 Oh, bloody hell. I don't believe it. 861 01:00:49,053 --> 01:00:53,217 My whole life ruined because I don't read Hello magazine. 862 01:00:53,290 --> 01:00:57,090 Let's face facts. This was always a no-win situation. 863 01:00:58,562 --> 01:01:01,087 Anna's... a goddess. 864 01:01:01,165 --> 01:01:04,225 You know what happens to mortals who get involved with the gods. 865 01:01:04,301 --> 01:01:07,099 - Buggered, is it? - Every time. 866 01:01:07,171 --> 01:01:12,074 But don't despair. I think I have the solution to your problems. 867 01:01:12,142 --> 01:01:14,872 - Really? - Mm-hmm. Her name is Tessa. 868 01:01:14,945 --> 01:01:16,810 She works in the Contracts Department. 869 01:01:16,880 --> 01:01:20,179 The hair, I admit, is unfashionably frizzy, 870 01:01:20,250 --> 01:01:24,243 but she's bright as a button and kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row. 871 01:01:24,321 --> 01:01:26,585 Apparently. 872 01:01:29,126 --> 01:01:31,754 Now... try. 873 01:01:34,832 --> 01:01:36,993 I got completely lost. 874 01:01:37,067 --> 01:01:39,763 It's very difficult, isn't it? Everything's got the word "Kensington" in it. 875 01:01:39,837 --> 01:01:43,204 Kensington Park Road. Kensington Garden. Kensington bloody Park Garden. 876 01:01:43,273 --> 01:01:45,798 - Tessa, this is Bella, my wife. - Hello. 877 01:01:45,876 --> 01:01:47,969 - You're in a wheelchair. - That's right. 878 01:01:48,045 --> 01:01:50,479 And this is William. 879 01:01:50,547 --> 01:01:52,879 - Hello, William. - Hi. 880 01:01:52,950 --> 01:01:56,010 - Max has told me everything about you. - Has he? 881 01:01:56,086 --> 01:01:58,714 Oh, yes. You are a naughty boy. 882 01:01:58,789 --> 01:02:01,121 - Wine? - Oh, yes, please. 883 01:02:01,191 --> 01:02:03,216 Come on, Willie. Let's get sloshed. 884 01:02:03,293 --> 01:02:05,318 - Red or white? - Red. 885 01:02:08,031 --> 01:02:10,363 Keziah. 886 01:02:11,869 --> 01:02:15,134 - Some woodcock? - No, thank you. I'm a fruitarian. 887 01:02:15,205 --> 01:02:17,571 Ah. 888 01:02:19,109 --> 01:02:21,907 What is a fruitarian, exactly? 889 01:02:21,979 --> 01:02:25,813 We believe that fruits and vegetables have feelings, 890 01:02:25,883 --> 01:02:28,181 so we think cooking is cruel. 891 01:02:28,252 --> 01:02:32,245 We only eat things that have actually fallen from the tree or bush, 892 01:02:32,322 --> 01:02:34,517 that are, in fact, dead already. 893 01:02:36,326 --> 01:02:40,592 Ah. Oh, right. 894 01:02:40,664 --> 01:02:42,598 Right. 895 01:02:42,666 --> 01:02:44,861 So, um, these carrots? 896 01:02:44,935 --> 01:02:47,563 - Have been murdered, yes. - Murdered. 897 01:02:49,106 --> 01:02:52,234 Poor old carrots. That's- 898 01:02:52,309 --> 01:02:54,243 That's beastly. 899 01:02:57,614 --> 01:03:00,708 Delicious coffee. 900 01:03:00,784 --> 01:03:03,309 I'm sorry about the lamb. 901 01:03:03,387 --> 01:03:08,154 No. I thought it was... really, you know, interesting. 902 01:03:08,225 --> 01:03:11,285 Interesting means inedible. 903 01:03:11,361 --> 01:03:14,797 Really inedible. Yes, you're right. 904 01:03:17,534 --> 01:03:21,300 Well, maybe we'll meet again. 905 01:03:21,371 --> 01:03:25,068 Yeah, yeah. That would be, uh- 906 01:03:25,142 --> 01:03:27,076 be great. 907 01:03:34,618 --> 01:03:36,552 Bye. 908 01:03:55,639 --> 01:03:58,130 Well? 909 01:03:58,208 --> 01:04:00,142 Perfect. 910 01:04:00,210 --> 01:04:02,405 Absolutely perfect. 911 01:04:04,882 --> 01:04:07,749 And? 912 01:04:07,818 --> 01:04:11,584 I think you've forgotten what an unusual situation you two have. 913 01:04:13,757 --> 01:04:18,194 To find someone you actually... love, who'll love you. 914 01:04:18,262 --> 01:04:21,129 The chances are always minuscule. 915 01:04:22,599 --> 01:04:24,533 Look at me. 916 01:04:24,601 --> 01:04:29,163 Apart from the American, I've only loved two girls, both total disasters. 917 01:04:29,239 --> 01:04:31,298 - That's not fair. - One of them marries me, then leaves me... 918 01:04:31,375 --> 01:04:34,401 faster than you can say "Indiana Jones." 919 01:04:34,478 --> 01:04:37,914 And the other- who seriously ought to have known better- 920 01:04:37,981 --> 01:04:39,972 casually marries my best friend. 921 01:04:40,050 --> 01:04:44,180 - She still loves you, though. - In a depressingly asexual way. 922 01:04:46,323 --> 01:04:48,553 I never fancied you much, actually. 923 01:04:48,625 --> 01:04:52,186 Oh, God. 924 01:04:52,262 --> 01:04:55,925 I loved you. You were terribly funny, but... 925 01:04:55,999 --> 01:04:58,297 all that kissing my ears. 926 01:04:58,368 --> 01:05:01,030 I don't believe it. This is just getting worse. 927 01:05:01,104 --> 01:05:03,800 I shall find myself 30 years from now still sitting on this sofa. 928 01:05:05,375 --> 01:05:09,141 - Do you wanna stay? - Yeah. Why not? 929 01:05:09,212 --> 01:05:11,976 All that awaits me at home is a masturbating Welshman. 930 01:05:16,086 --> 01:05:18,145 Here we go. 931 01:05:18,221 --> 01:05:20,155 - Good night. - Night. 932 01:05:39,248 --> 01:05:41,307 - See you. - Right. 933 01:05:49,658 --> 01:05:52,024 Guilty. Very, very guilty. 934 01:05:52,094 --> 01:05:54,028 So it seems. 935 01:06:41,510 --> 01:06:44,104 Hi. 936 01:06:45,748 --> 01:06:47,978 Can I come in? 937 01:06:48,050 --> 01:06:49,984 Come in. 938 01:06:57,259 --> 01:07:00,387 They were taken years ago. 939 01:07:00,462 --> 01:07:03,397 I know it was- 940 01:07:03,465 --> 01:07:08,095 But I was poor and- It happens a lot. 941 01:07:08,170 --> 01:07:10,536 That's not an excuse. I just- 942 01:07:13,175 --> 01:07:16,338 But to make matters worse, 943 01:07:16,412 --> 01:07:19,643 it now appears as though... 944 01:07:19,715 --> 01:07:23,742 someone was filming me as well. 945 01:07:23,819 --> 01:07:27,550 So what was a stupid photo shoot... 946 01:07:27,623 --> 01:07:29,921 now looks like a porn film. 947 01:07:32,428 --> 01:07:35,488 The pictures have been sold and they're just... 948 01:07:35,564 --> 01:07:37,498 everywhere. 949 01:07:40,803 --> 01:07:43,067 I didn't know where to go. 950 01:07:45,574 --> 01:07:47,508 The hotel's surrounded. 951 01:07:51,747 --> 01:07:55,046 I know it's been months, but- 952 01:07:55,117 --> 01:07:57,483 This is the place. 953 01:07:59,855 --> 01:08:02,119 Thank you. 954 01:08:05,327 --> 01:08:07,761 I'm just in London... 955 01:08:07,830 --> 01:08:10,697 for two days, but what with your papers, 956 01:08:10,766 --> 01:08:13,701 it's the worst place to be. 957 01:08:13,769 --> 01:08:17,637 These pictures are just so horrible, and they're so grainy. 958 01:08:17,706 --> 01:08:19,640 It makes me look like- 959 01:08:19,708 --> 01:08:21,733 Don't think about it. 960 01:08:24,079 --> 01:08:26,343 We'll sort it out. 961 01:08:29,284 --> 01:08:33,653 What would you like? Tea? 962 01:08:33,722 --> 01:08:35,656 Bath? 963 01:08:39,695 --> 01:08:42,892 A bath would be great. 964 01:08:45,033 --> 01:08:46,967 Oh, Christ alive! 965 01:08:51,673 --> 01:08:54,039 Brilliant. Fantastic. 966 01:08:57,546 --> 01:08:59,673 Magnificent. 967 01:09:06,188 --> 01:09:08,122 You must be Spike. 968 01:09:21,804 --> 01:09:25,331 - Hi. - Just... 969 01:09:25,407 --> 01:09:27,341 checkin'. 970 01:09:32,147 --> 01:09:34,081 Thank you, God. 971 01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:40,411 I'm really sorry about last time. 972 01:09:40,489 --> 01:09:42,855 - Oh- - He just flew in. 973 01:09:42,925 --> 01:09:44,859 - I had no idea. - All right. 974 01:09:44,927 --> 01:09:49,523 In fact, I had no idea if he was ever gonna fly in again. 975 01:09:49,598 --> 01:09:52,726 It's not often one has the opportunity to adios... 976 01:09:52,801 --> 01:09:55,668 the plates of a major Hollywood film star. 977 01:09:55,737 --> 01:09:58,262 It was, um- It was thrilling for me. 978 01:10:01,977 --> 01:10:03,911 So how is he? 979 01:10:06,014 --> 01:10:07,948 I don't know. 980 01:10:10,752 --> 01:10:12,686 It just got to the point... 981 01:10:12,754 --> 01:10:16,212 where I couldn't remember any of the reasons why we were together. 982 01:10:17,526 --> 01:10:19,460 And you and love? 983 01:10:22,030 --> 01:10:25,193 Oh, well, there's a question, um, 984 01:10:25,267 --> 01:10:27,792 without an interesting answer. 985 01:10:31,940 --> 01:10:33,874 I have thought about you. 986 01:10:35,911 --> 01:10:39,039 - Oh. - It's just that... 987 01:10:39,114 --> 01:10:42,641 anytime I've tried to keep... 988 01:10:42,718 --> 01:10:46,552 anything normal with a person that was... 989 01:10:46,622 --> 01:10:48,817 normal, it's just been a disaster. 990 01:10:48,891 --> 01:10:53,225 Listen, I appreciate that. Absolutely. 991 01:10:53,295 --> 01:10:56,287 So what is that, a film you're doing? 992 01:10:56,365 --> 01:11:00,495 Um, start in L.A. on Tuesday. 993 01:11:00,569 --> 01:11:03,595 Would you like me to take you through your lines? 994 01:11:03,672 --> 01:11:06,800 Would you? 'Cause it's all talk, talk, talk. 995 01:11:06,875 --> 01:11:09,036 Hand it over. 996 01:11:10,312 --> 01:11:14,009 Right. Um, basic plot? 997 01:11:14,082 --> 01:11:17,108 I'm a difficult but brilliant junior officer... 998 01:11:17,185 --> 01:11:22,088 who in about 20 minutes is gonna save the world from nuclear disaster. 999 01:11:22,157 --> 01:11:24,421 Mm-hmm. Okay. Well done, you. 1000 01:11:24,493 --> 01:11:26,757 "Message from Command. Would you like them to send in the H.K.s?" 1001 01:11:26,828 --> 01:11:29,854 No. Turn over four T.R.S.s and tell them we need radar feedback... 1002 01:11:29,932 --> 01:11:31,866 before the K.F.T.s return at 1900. 1003 01:11:31,934 --> 01:11:35,563 Then inform the Pentagon we'll need Black Star cover from 1000 through 1215. 1004 01:11:35,637 --> 01:11:39,596 And if you say one word about how many mistakes I made in that speech, I'll pelt you with olives. 1005 01:11:39,675 --> 01:11:42,269 - Very well, Captain. I'll pass that on straightaway. - Thank you. 1006 01:11:42,344 --> 01:11:44,278 - How many mistakes did I make? - Eleven. 1007 01:11:44,346 --> 01:11:48,612 - Damn it. And Wainwright- - Cartwright. 1008 01:11:48,684 --> 01:11:50,879 Cartwright, Wainwright, whatever your name is, 1009 01:11:50,953 --> 01:11:52,887 I promised little Jimmy I'd be home for his birthday, 1010 01:11:52,955 --> 01:11:55,446 so could you get a message to him that I may be late. 1011 01:11:55,524 --> 01:11:57,719 Certainly. And, uh, little Johnny? 1012 01:11:57,793 --> 01:12:00,193 - My son's name is Johnny? - Yep. 1013 01:12:00,262 --> 01:12:02,958 - Then get a message to him too. - I'll do what I can, Captain, 1014 01:12:03,031 --> 01:12:04,965 but I can't promise anything. 1015 01:12:05,033 --> 01:12:09,732 And Cartwright goes. 1016 01:12:09,805 --> 01:12:13,935 - What do you think? - Gripping. It's not Jane Austen. 1017 01:12:14,009 --> 01:12:16,978 It's not Henry James, but it's... gripping. 1018 01:12:17,045 --> 01:12:20,811 - Think I should do Henry James instead? - You would be brilliant. 1019 01:12:20,882 --> 01:12:26,252 But this writer- writers- they're pretty damn good too. 1020 01:12:26,321 --> 01:12:28,915 You never get anyone on Wings of the Dove saying, 1021 01:12:28,991 --> 01:12:31,789 "Inform the Pentagon we need Black Star cover." 1022 01:12:31,860 --> 01:12:33,794 For me the book is the poorer for it. 1023 01:12:39,067 --> 01:12:41,501 I can't believe you have that picture. 1024 01:12:43,071 --> 01:12:45,505 You like Chagall? 1025 01:12:45,574 --> 01:12:50,273 I do. It feels like how love should be- 1026 01:12:50,345 --> 01:12:53,075 floating through a dark blue sky. 1027 01:12:53,148 --> 01:12:55,844 With a goat, playing a violin. 1028 01:12:55,917 --> 01:12:57,851 Well, yes. 1029 01:12:57,919 --> 01:13:01,013 Happiness isn't happiness without a violin-playing goat. 1030 01:13:22,126 --> 01:13:24,060 You have big feet. 1031 01:13:26,731 --> 01:13:30,895 Yes. Yes, always have had. 1032 01:13:32,737 --> 01:13:36,332 You know what they say about men with big feet. 1033 01:13:37,608 --> 01:13:39,667 No. What's that? 1034 01:13:39,744 --> 01:13:43,407 Uh, big feet, 1035 01:13:43,481 --> 01:13:46,143 large... shoes. 1036 01:13:51,990 --> 01:13:53,924 The thing that is so irritating... 1037 01:13:53,992 --> 01:13:57,359 is that now I'm so fierce when it comes to nudity clauses. 1038 01:13:57,428 --> 01:14:00,158 You actually have... clauses in your contract about nudity? 1039 01:14:00,231 --> 01:14:02,165 Definitely. 1040 01:14:02,233 --> 01:14:05,828 "You may show the dent of the top of the artist's buttocks, but neither cheek." 1041 01:14:05,903 --> 01:14:09,134 Or if there's a stunt bottom being used... 1042 01:14:09,207 --> 01:14:12,176 "artist must have full consultation." 1043 01:14:12,243 --> 01:14:17,442 - You have a stunt bottom? - I could have a stunt bottom, yes. 1044 01:14:17,515 --> 01:14:21,952 Are people tempted to go for better bottoms than their own? 1045 01:14:22,020 --> 01:14:24,648 Yeah. I would. This is important stuff. 1046 01:14:24,722 --> 01:14:28,715 It's one hell of a job, isn't it? What do you put on your passport? 1047 01:14:28,793 --> 01:14:31,193 "Profession: Mel Gibson's bottom." 1048 01:14:31,262 --> 01:14:33,457 Actually, Mel does his own ass work. 1049 01:14:33,531 --> 01:14:35,499 - Right. - Why wouldn't he? 1050 01:14:35,566 --> 01:14:39,662 - Absolutely. - It's delicious. 1051 01:14:39,737 --> 01:14:43,070 What, the ice cream or Mel Gibson's bottom? 1052 01:14:43,141 --> 01:14:46,008 Both. Equally. 1053 01:14:46,077 --> 01:14:48,705 But you wouldn't necessarily lick both? 1054 01:14:48,780 --> 01:14:53,114 Well, this is tart. 1055 01:14:53,184 --> 01:14:55,379 And fuzz-free. 1056 01:14:59,457 --> 01:15:02,085 And, uh- 1057 01:15:02,160 --> 01:15:04,822 Bedroom. There's clean sheets. 1058 01:15:14,739 --> 01:15:17,333 Today's been a good day, 1059 01:15:17,408 --> 01:15:20,343 which in the circumstances is... 1060 01:15:20,411 --> 01:15:23,209 unexpected. 1061 01:15:23,281 --> 01:15:25,545 Thank you. 1062 01:15:29,120 --> 01:15:32,214 Anyway, um, 1063 01:15:32,290 --> 01:15:34,258 time for bed. 1064 01:15:35,426 --> 01:15:37,360 Or sofa bed. 1065 01:15:43,734 --> 01:15:47,737 Good night. 1066 01:16:33,351 --> 01:16:35,285 Oh, my God. 1067 01:16:43,427 --> 01:16:45,861 Hello? 1068 01:16:45,930 --> 01:16:47,864 Hello. 1069 01:16:49,600 --> 01:16:53,195 - Spike. - I wonder if I could have a little word. 1070 01:16:53,271 --> 01:16:56,604 - Right. - I don't want to interfere or anything, 1071 01:16:56,674 --> 01:16:59,336 but she's just split up from her boyfriend, right? 1072 01:16:59,410 --> 01:17:03,210 - Maybe. - And she's in your house. 1073 01:17:04,715 --> 01:17:08,207 - Yes. - And you get on very well. 1074 01:17:09,921 --> 01:17:12,651 - Yes. - Well, isn't this, perhaps, 1075 01:17:12,723 --> 01:17:14,782 a nice opportunity to... 1076 01:17:18,563 --> 01:17:20,497 slip her one. 1077 01:17:20,565 --> 01:17:22,533 Spike, for God's sakes. She's in trouble. Get a grip. 1078 01:17:22,600 --> 01:17:25,262 You think it's the wrong moment. Fair enough. 1079 01:17:30,441 --> 01:17:32,409 - Do you mind if I have a go? - Spike! 1080 01:17:32,476 --> 01:17:35,377 - Okay. - I'll talk to you in the morning. 1081 01:17:35,446 --> 01:17:40,179 Okay. Might be too late, but okay. 1082 01:17:49,994 --> 01:17:53,725 Please, sod off. 1083 01:17:53,798 --> 01:17:55,732 - Okay. All right. - No. No, no! 1084 01:17:55,800 --> 01:17:59,600 Wait! I thought you were, um, someone else. 1085 01:18:01,339 --> 01:18:05,105 I thought you were Spike. I'm thrilled that you're not. 1086 01:19:06,671 --> 01:19:08,605 Wow. 1087 01:19:10,908 --> 01:19:12,842 What? 1088 01:19:12,910 --> 01:19:14,844 Nothing. 1089 01:19:49,980 --> 01:19:52,676 It does strike me as, 1090 01:19:52,750 --> 01:19:56,481 well, surreal that I'm allowed to see you naked. 1091 01:19:56,554 --> 01:19:59,523 - You and every person in this country. - I'm sorry. 1092 01:20:01,058 --> 01:20:03,720 What is it about men and nudity, huh? 1093 01:20:03,794 --> 01:20:05,728 Particularly breasts. 1094 01:20:05,796 --> 01:20:10,495 - How can you be so interested in them? - Well- 1095 01:20:10,568 --> 01:20:13,128 But, seriously, they're just breasts. 1096 01:20:13,204 --> 01:20:16,037 Every second person in the world has them. 1097 01:20:16,107 --> 01:20:19,838 More than that, when you think about it. Meat Loaf has a very nice pair. 1098 01:20:19,910 --> 01:20:23,368 But they're odd-looking. 1099 01:20:23,447 --> 01:20:26,245 They're for milk. Your mother has them. 1100 01:20:26,317 --> 01:20:29,844 You've seen a thousand of them. What's all the fuss about? 1101 01:20:29,920 --> 01:20:33,185 Actually, I can't think what it is, really. 1102 01:20:33,257 --> 01:20:35,851 Let me just have a quick look. 1103 01:20:40,498 --> 01:20:43,490 Nope, nope. Beats me. 1104 01:20:46,604 --> 01:20:50,131 Rita Hayworth used to say, 1105 01:20:50,207 --> 01:20:53,938 "They go to bed with Gilda, they wake up with me." 1106 01:20:54,011 --> 01:20:59,142 - Who was Gilda? - Her most famous part. 1107 01:20:59,216 --> 01:21:02,185 Men went to bed with the dream, 1108 01:21:02,253 --> 01:21:05,916 and they didn't like it when they woke up with the reality. 1109 01:21:07,491 --> 01:21:09,425 Do you feel that way? 1110 01:21:12,163 --> 01:21:15,860 You are lovelier this morning than you have ever been. 1111 01:21:19,570 --> 01:21:21,504 I'll be right back. 1112 01:21:35,119 --> 01:21:37,053 Breakfast in bed. 1113 01:21:37,121 --> 01:21:41,490 - Oh. - Or it's brunch or lunch or something. 1114 01:21:41,559 --> 01:21:44,289 My God. 1115 01:21:44,361 --> 01:21:46,295 Can I stay a bit longer? 1116 01:21:49,066 --> 01:21:51,000 Stay forever. 1117 01:21:53,537 --> 01:21:55,801 Okay. Oh. Forgot the jam. 1118 01:22:00,144 --> 01:22:02,510 I'll get the jam, you get the door. 1119 01:22:18,340 --> 01:22:20,205 Jesus Christ. 1120 01:22:22,978 --> 01:22:25,378 What? 1121 01:22:25,447 --> 01:22:27,779 What is it? 1122 01:22:27,849 --> 01:22:30,818 - Nothing, really. - You're up to something. 1123 01:22:30,886 --> 01:22:33,787 Anna, no, please! 1124 01:22:36,325 --> 01:22:41,126 My God. And they got a picture of you dressed like that. 1125 01:22:41,196 --> 01:22:42,925 Yes. 1126 01:22:44,800 --> 01:22:46,734 Undressed like this, yeah. 1127 01:22:48,570 --> 01:22:52,199 - Morning, darling ones. - It's me. The press are here. 1128 01:22:52,274 --> 01:22:54,504 No, there are hundreds of them. 1129 01:22:54,576 --> 01:22:57,204 My brilliant plan was not so brilliant. I know. 1130 01:22:57,279 --> 01:23:00,578 I know. I know. Just get over here. 1131 01:23:00,649 --> 01:23:02,583 Damn it. 1132 01:23:07,756 --> 01:23:10,816 - Um, I wouldn't go outside. - Why not? 1133 01:23:13,462 --> 01:23:16,124 - Just take my word for it. - Oh. 1134 01:23:38,687 --> 01:23:40,882 How did I look? Not bad. 1135 01:23:40,956 --> 01:23:44,983 Not at all bad. Well-chosen briefs, I'd say. 1136 01:23:45,060 --> 01:23:47,722 Chicks love gray. 1137 01:23:47,796 --> 01:23:50,458 Nice firm buttocks. 1138 01:23:54,436 --> 01:23:56,370 How are you doing? 1139 01:23:56,438 --> 01:23:59,032 How do you think I'm doing? 1140 01:24:00,442 --> 01:24:02,706 - I don't know what happened. - I do. 1141 01:24:02,778 --> 01:24:07,715 Your furry friend thought he'd make a buck telling the papers where I was. 1142 01:24:07,783 --> 01:24:09,717 - That's not true. - Really? 1143 01:24:09,785 --> 01:24:13,118 The entire British press got up this morning and thought, "I know where Anna Scott is. 1144 01:24:13,188 --> 01:24:16,123 She's in that house with the blue door in Notting Hill." 1145 01:24:16,191 --> 01:24:18,955 Then you go out in your goddamn underwear! 1146 01:24:19,027 --> 01:24:22,019 - I went out in my goddamn underwear too. - Get out! 1147 01:24:22,097 --> 01:24:24,156 Sorry. 1148 01:24:24,232 --> 01:24:28,066 - I'm so sorry. - This is such an unbelievable mess. 1149 01:24:28,136 --> 01:24:31,071 I come to you to protect myself against more crappy gossip, 1150 01:24:31,139 --> 01:24:33,073 and now I've landed in it all over again. 1151 01:24:33,141 --> 01:24:35,974 For God's sake, I've got a boyfriend! 1152 01:24:36,044 --> 01:24:39,775 - You have? - As far as they're concerned I do. 1153 01:24:39,848 --> 01:24:44,717 And now, tomorrow there'll be pictures of you in every newspaper from here to Timbuktu! 1154 01:24:44,786 --> 01:24:47,755 I know that, but... just let's stay calm. 1155 01:24:47,823 --> 01:24:51,589 You stay calm! This is a perfect situation for you, isn't it? 1156 01:24:51,660 --> 01:24:54,026 Minimum input, maximum publicity. 1157 01:24:54,096 --> 01:24:56,690 Everywhere you go, people will say, "Well done, you. 1158 01:24:56,765 --> 01:25:00,565 You slept with that actress. We saw the pictures." 1159 01:25:00,635 --> 01:25:03,399 - That is spectacularly unfair. - That's yours. 1160 01:25:03,472 --> 01:25:05,406 Maybe it'll even help business. 1161 01:25:05,474 --> 01:25:08,068 Buy a boring book about Egypt from the guy that screwed Anna Scott. 1162 01:25:08,143 --> 01:25:11,943 Stop! Stop! I beg you! 1163 01:25:12,013 --> 01:25:14,277 Calm down. How about a cup of tea? 1164 01:25:14,349 --> 01:25:16,408 I don't want a goddamn cup of tea. 1165 01:25:17,819 --> 01:25:20,481 I just wanna go home. 1166 01:25:20,555 --> 01:25:23,319 Spike, see who that is, and put some clothes on, for God's sake. 1167 01:25:23,391 --> 01:25:26,053 Looks like a chauffeur to me. 1168 01:25:26,128 --> 01:25:28,562 Spike owes you an expensive dinner or holiday, 1169 01:25:28,630 --> 01:25:31,656 depending who's got the brains to get the going rate on betrayal. 1170 01:25:31,733 --> 01:25:33,667 That is not true. Wait a minute. 1171 01:25:33,735 --> 01:25:36,431 This is crazy behavior. 1172 01:25:36,505 --> 01:25:39,770 Can't we just laugh about all this? 1173 01:25:39,841 --> 01:25:43,572 Seriously. In the huge sweep of things, this stuff doesn't matter. 1174 01:25:43,645 --> 01:25:46,842 What he's gonna say next is there's people starving in the Sudan. 1175 01:25:46,915 --> 01:25:50,681 Well, there are, and we don't have to go anywhere near that far. 1176 01:25:50,752 --> 01:25:53,687 My best friend slipped down stairs, cracked her back... 1177 01:25:53,755 --> 01:25:56,315 and she's in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. 1178 01:25:56,391 --> 01:26:00,760 All I'm asking for is a normal amount of perspective. 1179 01:26:00,829 --> 01:26:03,320 You're right. Of course, you're right. 1180 01:26:03,398 --> 01:26:06,196 It's just that I've dealt with this garbage for ten years. 1181 01:26:06,268 --> 01:26:08,202 You've had it for ten minutes. 1182 01:26:08,270 --> 01:26:11,728 Our perspectives are very different. 1183 01:26:11,807 --> 01:26:15,334 Today's newspapers will be lining tomorrow's wastepaper bin. 1184 01:26:15,410 --> 01:26:17,537 - Excuse me? - You know. 1185 01:26:17,612 --> 01:26:19,807 It's just one day. 1186 01:26:19,881 --> 01:26:23,476 Tomorrow, today's papers will all have been thrown out. 1187 01:26:23,552 --> 01:26:25,713 You really don't get it. 1188 01:26:25,787 --> 01:26:28,221 This story will be filed. 1189 01:26:28,290 --> 01:26:33,193 Every time anyone writes anything about me, they'll dig up these photos. 1190 01:26:33,261 --> 01:26:35,252 Newspapers last forever. 1191 01:26:35,330 --> 01:26:38,197 I'll regret this forever. 1192 01:26:40,302 --> 01:26:42,236 Right. 1193 01:26:45,540 --> 01:26:47,906 Right. 1194 01:26:47,976 --> 01:26:50,240 I will feel the opposite, 1195 01:26:50,312 --> 01:26:54,442 if that's okay by you, and, uh, 1196 01:26:54,516 --> 01:26:57,508 always be glad that you... came to stay. 1197 01:27:00,055 --> 01:27:02,956 But, um, you're probably right. 1198 01:27:03,024 --> 01:27:04,958 You better go. 1199 01:27:45,667 --> 01:27:47,897 Was it you? 1200 01:27:50,272 --> 01:27:55,073 I may have told a few people down at the pub. 1201 01:27:56,878 --> 01:27:58,812 Right. 1202 01:28:02,250 --> 01:28:06,084 Ain't no sunshine when she's gone 1203 01:28:08,490 --> 01:28:12,085 It's not warm when she's away 1204 01:28:14,930 --> 01:28:18,195 Ain't no sunshine when she's gone 1205 01:28:18,266 --> 01:28:21,099 And she's always gone too long 1206 01:28:21,169 --> 01:28:25,071 Any time she goes away 1207 01:28:27,542 --> 01:28:31,444 Ain't no sunshine when she's gone 1208 01:28:34,015 --> 01:28:37,951 It's not warm when she's away 1209 01:28:40,422 --> 01:28:43,687 Ain't no sunshine when she's gone 1210 01:28:43,758 --> 01:28:46,625 And she's always gone too long 1211 01:28:46,695 --> 01:28:50,631 Any time she goes away 1212 01:28:53,134 --> 01:28:56,968 Wonder this time where she's gone 1213 01:28:59,407 --> 01:29:03,173 Wonder if she's gone to stay 1214 01:29:05,580 --> 01:29:08,743 Ain't no sunshine when she's gone 1215 01:29:08,817 --> 01:29:11,650 And this house just ain't no home 1216 01:29:11,720 --> 01:29:15,520 Any time she goes away 1217 01:29:17,892 --> 01:29:20,986 Ain't no sunshine when she's gone 1218 01:29:21,062 --> 01:29:23,758 And this house just ain't no home 1219 01:29:23,832 --> 01:29:27,495 Any time she goes away 1220 01:29:29,871 --> 01:29:33,671 Any time she goes away 1221 01:29:35,910 --> 01:29:39,573 Any time she goes away 1222 01:29:42,217 --> 01:29:45,709 Any time she goes away 1223 01:29:48,490 --> 01:29:52,259 Have I got something for you. Something which will make you love me so much, 1224 01:29:52,327 --> 01:29:55,660 you will want to hug me every day for the rest of my life. 1225 01:29:55,730 --> 01:29:58,665 Blimey. What is it? 1226 01:29:58,733 --> 01:30:00,928 Phone number of Anna Scott's agent in London... 1227 01:30:01,002 --> 01:30:03,527 and her agent in New York. 1228 01:30:07,415 --> 01:30:10,816 Listen, you think about her all the time. Now you can ring her. 1229 01:30:10,886 --> 01:30:14,413 Yeah. Brilliant. Thanks. 1230 01:30:14,489 --> 01:30:17,481 I'll see you tonight. Hey, Marty. Ooh! Sexy cardi. 1231 01:30:43,618 --> 01:30:47,918 Shh! Hello! I have a little speech to make. 1232 01:30:47,989 --> 01:30:52,892 I won't stand up because I can't... be bothered. 1233 01:30:52,961 --> 01:30:57,728 Exactly a year ago today, this man here started the finest restaurant in London. 1234 01:30:57,799 --> 01:30:59,733 - Hear, hear. - Thank you very much. 1235 01:30:59,801 --> 01:31:02,361 Unfortunately, no one ever came to eat here. 1236 01:31:02,437 --> 01:31:05,270 It's a tiny hiccup. 1237 01:31:05,340 --> 01:31:08,639 And so we have to face the fact that from next week, 1238 01:31:08,710 --> 01:31:10,644 we must find somewhere new to eat. 1239 01:31:12,013 --> 01:31:16,347 I just want to say to Tony... don't take it personally. 1240 01:31:16,418 --> 01:31:20,252 The more I think about things, the more I see no rhyme or reason in life. 1241 01:31:20,322 --> 01:31:23,985 No one knows why some things work out and some things don't. 1242 01:31:24,059 --> 01:31:25,890 Why some of us get lucky... 1243 01:31:25,961 --> 01:31:29,124 - and some of us- - Get fired. 1244 01:31:29,197 --> 01:31:30,528 - What? - No! 1245 01:31:30,599 --> 01:31:33,363 Yeah, well, it seems they're shifting the whole outfit... 1246 01:31:33,435 --> 01:31:36,029 much more towards the emerging markets. 1247 01:31:36,104 --> 01:31:40,734 And, of course, well, I was total crap, so- 1248 01:31:40,809 --> 01:31:43,073 A toast to Bernie- the worst stockbroker in the whole world. 1249 01:31:43,144 --> 01:31:45,874 I thank you. And Tony, the worst restaurateur. 1250 01:31:45,947 --> 01:31:48,541 - Tony and Bernie. Both crap... - The terrible two. 1251 01:31:48,617 --> 01:31:51,245 in their own special ways. 1252 01:31:54,022 --> 01:31:56,456 Since it's an evening of announcements, 1253 01:31:56,524 --> 01:31:59,925 uh, I've also got one. 1254 01:31:59,995 --> 01:32:03,226 Um, I've decided to get engaged. 1255 01:32:03,298 --> 01:32:08,702 I've found myself a nice, slightly odd-looking bloke... 1256 01:32:08,770 --> 01:32:12,001 who I know is gonna make me happy for the rest of my life. 1257 01:32:13,675 --> 01:32:16,337 Wait a sec. I mean, I- 1258 01:32:16,411 --> 01:32:20,438 I'm your brother. I don't know anything about this. Is he- 1259 01:32:20,515 --> 01:32:24,076 Is he financially viable? 1260 01:32:24,152 --> 01:32:26,814 He's an artist... with brilliant prospects. 1261 01:32:29,391 --> 01:32:32,519 - This is a secret you've been keeping from me. - No, I swear! 1262 01:32:32,594 --> 01:32:34,619 By the way, it's you. 1263 01:32:37,966 --> 01:32:41,163 - Me? - What do you think? 1264 01:32:43,004 --> 01:32:44,938 Well, yeah. 1265 01:32:47,008 --> 01:32:49,340 Groovy. 1266 01:32:49,411 --> 01:32:53,643 Excuse me. Are there any more announcements? 1267 01:32:53,715 --> 01:32:56,240 Well, actually, yes. 1268 01:32:56,317 --> 01:32:59,252 I feel I should apologize to everyone... 1269 01:32:59,320 --> 01:33:01,720 for my behavior over the last six months. 1270 01:33:01,790 --> 01:33:05,419 I have, as you know, been somewhat down in the mouth. 1271 01:33:05,493 --> 01:33:09,054 There's an understatement. There are dead people on better form. 1272 01:33:09,130 --> 01:33:12,861 But I just wish to make it clear that I've turned a corner, 1273 01:33:12,934 --> 01:33:17,030 and, um, henceforward intend to be impressively happy. 1274 01:33:23,011 --> 01:33:26,913 Without a love of my own 1275 01:33:30,919 --> 01:33:35,185 - Blue moon - Ba-boom, ba-boom 1276 01:33:35,256 --> 01:33:38,692 You knew just what I was there for 1277 01:33:38,760 --> 01:33:41,661 Oh, God. I'm horribly drunk. 1278 01:33:41,730 --> 01:33:44,824 You heard me saying a prayer for 1279 01:33:44,899 --> 01:33:46,958 - Come here. - Ba-boom, ba-boom 1280 01:33:47,035 --> 01:33:50,232 Someone I really could care for 1281 01:33:50,305 --> 01:33:54,639 - So you've laid the ghost? - Wah, wah, wah, wah 1282 01:33:54,709 --> 01:33:56,609 I believe I have. 1283 01:33:56,678 --> 01:34:00,045 Don't give a damn about the famous girl? 1284 01:34:00,115 --> 01:34:01,912 No. 1285 01:34:01,983 --> 01:34:04,781 No, I don't think I do. 1286 01:34:04,853 --> 01:34:07,754 Which means you won't be distracted by the fact that she's back in London... 1287 01:34:07,822 --> 01:34:09,483 grasping her Oscar... 1288 01:34:09,557 --> 01:34:12,583 and currently to be found filming, most days, on Hampstead Heath. 1289 01:34:14,429 --> 01:34:16,363 Oh, God, no. 1290 01:34:19,634 --> 01:34:22,432 So not over her, in fact. 1291 01:35:05,980 --> 01:35:08,881 - Can I help you? - Yeah, I'm, um- 1292 01:35:08,950 --> 01:35:11,350 - I'm looking for Anna Scott. - Does she know you're coming? 1293 01:35:11,419 --> 01:35:14,911 No. No, uh, she doesn't. 1294 01:35:14,989 --> 01:35:18,288 - I'm afraid I can't let you through. - Right. 1295 01:35:18,359 --> 01:35:23,353 I mean, I am actually a friend. I'm not a lunatic, but- 1296 01:35:23,431 --> 01:35:26,298 - No, you basically, er- - Can't let you through, sir. 1297 01:36:08,243 --> 01:36:09,710 Well, this is, uh- 1298 01:36:09,777 --> 01:36:13,144 I only found out you were here yesterday. 1299 01:36:13,214 --> 01:36:16,980 - I was going to call, but I- - Uh, Anna. 1300 01:36:17,051 --> 01:36:19,519 Yes. Um- 1301 01:36:19,587 --> 01:36:22,021 Things aren't going very well, and it's our last day. 1302 01:36:22,090 --> 01:36:24,524 Absolutely, yeah. You're clearly very busy. 1303 01:36:24,592 --> 01:36:27,026 But if- if you could wait, 1304 01:36:27,095 --> 01:36:29,757 there are... things to say. 1305 01:36:34,235 --> 01:36:36,169 Okay. 1306 01:36:38,106 --> 01:36:41,007 Drink tea. There's lots of tea. 1307 01:36:47,448 --> 01:36:49,382 Come and have a look. 1308 01:36:53,755 --> 01:36:56,918 Are you a fan of Henry James? 1309 01:36:56,991 --> 01:36:59,721 - This is a Henry James film? - Yeah. 1310 01:37:06,968 --> 01:37:09,198 This is, uh, Harry. 1311 01:37:09,270 --> 01:37:12,467 He'll give you a pair of headphones so you can hear the dialogue. 1312 01:37:12,540 --> 01:37:14,474 - Thank you very much. - No problem. 1313 01:37:14,542 --> 01:37:17,204 - Hi. - Hi. Here we go. 1314 01:37:17,278 --> 01:37:20,770 - Volume's on the side. Have a seat. - Thank you. 1315 01:37:28,990 --> 01:37:32,448 We are living in cloud cuckoo land. We'll never get this done today. 1316 01:37:32,527 --> 01:37:34,791 We've got to. I have to be in New York on Thursday. 1317 01:37:34,862 --> 01:37:39,060 Oh, stop showing off. God, that's an enormous ass. 1318 01:37:39,133 --> 01:37:43,331 - I'm not listening. - But seriously, it's not fair. 1319 01:37:43,404 --> 01:37:45,736 So many tragic young teenagers with anorexia... 1320 01:37:45,807 --> 01:37:48,435 and that girl has an ass she could perfectly well share around... 1321 01:37:48,509 --> 01:37:52,411 with at least ten other women and still be big-bottomed. 1322 01:37:52,480 --> 01:37:54,971 I would think, looking at something nice like that, 1323 01:37:55,049 --> 01:37:59,247 you and your... bony little excuse for an arse... 1324 01:37:59,320 --> 01:38:01,254 would be well advised to keep quiet. 1325 01:38:01,322 --> 01:38:03,494 Now down to business. The end of the scene. 1326 01:38:03,562 --> 01:38:06,759 Um, I ask you when you're telling everyone, and you say- 1327 01:38:06,832 --> 01:38:10,996 Um, tomorrow will be soon enough. 1328 01:38:11,069 --> 01:38:13,503 And then I- Right. Okay. 1329 01:38:13,572 --> 01:38:17,406 Say, who was that rather diffident chap I saw you talking to round the back? 1330 01:38:17,476 --> 01:38:19,410 No one. 1331 01:38:20,812 --> 01:38:23,838 Just some guy from the past. I- 1332 01:38:23,915 --> 01:38:27,851 It's a bit of an awkward situation. I don't know what he's doing here. 1333 01:38:44,970 --> 01:38:46,904 'Course. 1334 01:38:52,677 --> 01:38:55,771 Thanks. I've got to, um- 1335 01:38:55,847 --> 01:38:57,781 Any time. 1336 01:39:07,359 --> 01:39:10,795 Ladies and gentlemen, can we have you on your first marks? 1337 01:39:10,862 --> 01:39:12,989 On your first marks! 1338 01:39:25,110 --> 01:39:28,443 Uh, I-I do hate to disturb you whilst you're cooking the books, 1339 01:39:28,513 --> 01:39:31,710 but, uh, there's a delivery for you. 1340 01:39:31,783 --> 01:39:34,149 Martin, really. Can't you just do it yourself? 1341 01:39:34,219 --> 01:39:38,747 But you see, this is not for the shop. This is for you. 1342 01:39:39,824 --> 01:39:41,416 Right. Okay. 1343 01:39:41,493 --> 01:39:46,192 Tell me, if I employ a wet rag, would I have to pay it as much as I pay you? 1344 01:39:50,368 --> 01:39:53,201 Hi. 1345 01:39:53,271 --> 01:39:55,364 Hello. 1346 01:39:55,440 --> 01:39:57,567 You disappeared. 1347 01:39:57,642 --> 01:40:00,270 Yeah. Yeah. Um- 1348 01:40:00,345 --> 01:40:04,213 I had to leave. I didn't want to disturb. 1349 01:40:04,282 --> 01:40:08,275 - How have you been? - Fine, fine. Everything much the same. 1350 01:40:08,353 --> 01:40:12,449 When they change the law, Spike and I will marry immediately. 1351 01:40:12,524 --> 01:40:15,584 Whereas you, I've watched in wonder. 1352 01:40:15,660 --> 01:40:17,890 - Awards, glory. - Oh, no. 1353 01:40:17,963 --> 01:40:21,399 It's- It's all nonsense, believe me. 1354 01:40:21,466 --> 01:40:24,435 I'd no idea how much nonsense it was, but... 1355 01:40:24,502 --> 01:40:26,436 nonsense it all is. 1356 01:40:28,607 --> 01:40:31,075 Well, um- 1357 01:40:31,142 --> 01:40:36,170 Yesterday was our last day of filming, so... I'm leaving. 1358 01:40:38,316 --> 01:40:41,774 But, um- 1359 01:40:41,853 --> 01:40:45,482 I brought this for you from home, 1360 01:40:45,557 --> 01:40:47,787 so I thought I'd give it to you. 1361 01:40:49,227 --> 01:40:52,162 Thank you. 1362 01:40:52,230 --> 01:40:54,164 Shall I- 1363 01:40:54,232 --> 01:40:56,826 Oh, no, don't open it now. I'll be embarrassed. 1364 01:40:59,671 --> 01:41:03,072 Well, thank you. I don't know what it's for, but thanks anyway. 1365 01:41:03,141 --> 01:41:07,635 Actually, I had it in my apartment, and I thought you'd- 1366 01:41:10,015 --> 01:41:12,813 But when it came to it, I didn't know how to call, 1367 01:41:12,884 --> 01:41:15,978 having behaved so badly. 1368 01:41:16,054 --> 01:41:17,988 Twice. 1369 01:41:19,591 --> 01:41:23,755 So it's just been sitting in the hotel. 1370 01:41:23,828 --> 01:41:28,162 Then you came and... I figured- 1371 01:41:31,803 --> 01:41:34,169 The thing is- 1372 01:41:34,239 --> 01:41:36,173 The thing is- 1373 01:41:38,943 --> 01:41:41,844 What? What is the thing? 1374 01:41:43,081 --> 01:41:45,413 Don't even think about it. Go away immediately. 1375 01:41:45,483 --> 01:41:48,145 - Go away. - Right. 1376 01:41:48,219 --> 01:41:50,153 Sorry. 1377 01:41:52,424 --> 01:41:54,858 You were saying? 1378 01:41:57,362 --> 01:42:00,820 Yes. 1379 01:42:00,899 --> 01:42:03,732 I have to go away today, but I... 1380 01:42:03,802 --> 01:42:07,101 wondered if I didn't... 1381 01:42:07,172 --> 01:42:11,575 whether you might let me see you a little, 1382 01:42:11,643 --> 01:42:14,510 or... a lot, maybe. 1383 01:42:17,782 --> 01:42:20,683 See if you could like me again. 1384 01:42:20,752 --> 01:42:23,186 But yesterday that actor asked you who I was, 1385 01:42:23,254 --> 01:42:26,018 and you just dismissed me out of hand. 1386 01:42:27,392 --> 01:42:30,486 I heard. 1387 01:42:30,562 --> 01:42:33,759 You had a microphone. I had headphones. 1388 01:42:33,832 --> 01:42:35,823 You expect me to tell the truth about my life... 1389 01:42:35,900 --> 01:42:38,494 to the most indiscreet man in England? 1390 01:42:39,938 --> 01:42:42,270 Uh, excuse me. 1391 01:42:42,340 --> 01:42:44,774 It's your mother on the phone. 1392 01:42:47,545 --> 01:42:49,672 Will you tell her I'll ring her back? 1393 01:42:49,748 --> 01:42:52,842 I've actually tried that tack, but she said you've said that once before, 1394 01:42:52,917 --> 01:42:54,885 and it's now been about 24 hours... 1395 01:42:54,953 --> 01:42:58,389 and the foot that was purple is now sort of blackish in color and- 1396 01:42:58,456 --> 01:43:02,222 Right, right. Yeah. Perfect timing, as ever. 1397 01:43:04,396 --> 01:43:07,194 Martin, hold the fort a second. 1398 01:43:07,265 --> 01:43:09,631 Uh, yes. All right. 1399 01:43:14,773 --> 01:43:17,298 Um, could I just say- 1400 01:43:17,375 --> 01:43:22,438 I thought Ghost was the most wonderful film. 1401 01:43:23,681 --> 01:43:26,343 - Is that right? - Oh, yes. 1402 01:43:29,554 --> 01:43:33,456 Um, I've always wondered... 1403 01:43:33,525 --> 01:43:36,722 what Patrick Swayze's like in- in- in real life. 1404 01:43:36,795 --> 01:43:40,458 I can't say that I know Patrick all that well. 1405 01:43:40,532 --> 01:43:42,796 He wasn't that friendly during filming? 1406 01:43:42,867 --> 01:43:48,305 Well, I'm sure he was friendly to Demi Moore who acted with him in Ghost. 1407 01:43:50,775 --> 01:43:53,141 Oh. Oh, right. 1408 01:43:53,211 --> 01:43:55,145 Sorry. 1409 01:43:56,781 --> 01:44:00,046 Always been a bit of an ass. 1410 01:44:00,118 --> 01:44:03,087 Um, anyway- Um- 1411 01:44:03,154 --> 01:44:05,088 Well, it was lovely to meet you. 1412 01:44:05,156 --> 01:44:07,590 I'm a huge, huge fan of yours. 1413 01:44:07,659 --> 01:44:11,288 And Demi's, of course. 1414 01:44:13,798 --> 01:44:16,028 Sorry. 1415 01:44:16,100 --> 01:44:17,965 That's fine. 1416 01:44:18,036 --> 01:44:21,836 There's always a pause when the jury goes out to consider their verdict. 1417 01:44:24,108 --> 01:44:27,271 Anna, look, um- 1418 01:44:27,345 --> 01:44:31,145 I'm a fairly levelheaded bloke, 1419 01:44:31,216 --> 01:44:35,084 not often in and out of love. 1420 01:44:35,153 --> 01:44:37,280 But, uh- 1421 01:44:41,826 --> 01:44:44,226 Can I just say no to your... 1422 01:44:44,295 --> 01:44:48,629 kind request and, uh, leave it at that? 1423 01:44:52,036 --> 01:44:55,369 Yes. 1424 01:44:55,440 --> 01:44:58,967 Fine. Of course. I- 1425 01:44:59,043 --> 01:45:01,102 Of course. 1426 01:45:02,814 --> 01:45:05,874 I'll just be going, then. It was nice to see you. 1427 01:45:05,950 --> 01:45:08,885 The thing is, 1428 01:45:08,953 --> 01:45:12,411 with you I'm in real... danger. 1429 01:45:12,490 --> 01:45:15,687 It seems like a... perfect situation, 1430 01:45:15,760 --> 01:45:19,218 apart from that foul temper of yours, but... 1431 01:45:19,297 --> 01:45:23,859 my relatively inexperienced heart would, I fear, not... 1432 01:45:23,935 --> 01:45:26,733 recover, uh, if I was... 1433 01:45:26,804 --> 01:45:30,865 once again cast aside, as I would absolutely expect to be. 1434 01:45:30,942 --> 01:45:36,107 There are just too many pictures of you, too many films. 1435 01:45:36,180 --> 01:45:39,547 You'd go and I'd be, uh, 1436 01:45:39,617 --> 01:45:42,245 well, buggered, basically. 1437 01:45:43,755 --> 01:45:46,690 That really is a real no, isn't it? 1438 01:45:46,758 --> 01:45:51,457 I live in Notting Hill. You live in... Beverly Hills. 1439 01:45:51,529 --> 01:45:53,463 Everyone in the world knows who you are. 1440 01:45:53,531 --> 01:45:57,262 My mother has trouble remembering my name. 1441 01:45:57,335 --> 01:45:59,269 Fine. 1442 01:46:01,139 --> 01:46:05,473 Fine. Good decision. Good decision. 1443 01:46:09,180 --> 01:46:12,707 The fame thing isn't really real, you know? 1444 01:46:16,521 --> 01:46:20,150 And don't forget I'm- 1445 01:46:20,224 --> 01:46:24,024 I'm also just a girl... 1446 01:46:24,095 --> 01:46:28,259 standing in front of a boy... 1447 01:46:28,333 --> 01:46:30,893 asking him to love her. 1448 01:46:41,779 --> 01:46:43,713 Good-bye. 1449 01:47:06,082 --> 01:47:08,516 So what do you think? Good move? 1450 01:47:08,584 --> 01:47:10,882 Yeah, good move. 1451 01:47:10,953 --> 01:47:13,649 I mean, when all's said and done, she's nothing special. 1452 01:47:13,723 --> 01:47:15,657 I saw her taking her trousers down, 1453 01:47:15,725 --> 01:47:18,592 and I definitely glimpsed some cellulite down there. 1454 01:47:18,661 --> 01:47:21,494 Good decision, yeah. 1455 01:47:21,564 --> 01:47:23,998 All actresses are as mad as snakes. 1456 01:47:24,067 --> 01:47:27,127 - Tones, what do you reckon? - Never met her, never want to. 1457 01:47:27,203 --> 01:47:30,934 - Brilliant. Max? - Absolutely. Never trust a vegetarian. 1458 01:47:31,007 --> 01:47:33,737 Great. Thanks. Brilliant. 1459 01:47:35,044 --> 01:47:37,569 I was called and I came. What's up? 1460 01:47:37,647 --> 01:47:39,808 William's just turned down Anna Scott. 1461 01:47:41,451 --> 01:47:44,352 You daft prick. 1462 01:47:44,420 --> 01:47:47,821 No, no. No, no, it's actually quite sensible. 1463 01:47:51,160 --> 01:47:54,926 That painting isn't the original, is it? 1464 01:47:54,997 --> 01:47:57,591 Um, you know, I think it might be, yeah. 1465 01:48:00,503 --> 01:48:02,869 But she said she wanted to go out with you. 1466 01:48:05,408 --> 01:48:08,343 - Yeah. - Well, that's nice. 1467 01:48:09,912 --> 01:48:13,006 What? 1468 01:48:13,082 --> 01:48:15,243 Well, you know, 1469 01:48:15,318 --> 01:48:19,448 anyone saying they wanna go out with you is pretty great, isn't it? 1470 01:48:25,228 --> 01:48:27,924 It was... 1471 01:48:27,997 --> 01:48:30,261 sort of... sweet, actually. 1472 01:48:30,333 --> 01:48:33,268 Um, I mean, I know she's an actress and all that... 1473 01:48:33,336 --> 01:48:39,241 so she can... deliver a line, but, um, 1474 01:48:39,308 --> 01:48:41,833 she said she might be as famous as she can be, 1475 01:48:41,911 --> 01:48:44,778 but also that she was... 1476 01:48:44,847 --> 01:48:48,180 just a girl... 1477 01:48:48,251 --> 01:48:52,620 standing in front of a boy... 1478 01:48:52,688 --> 01:48:55,156 asking him... to love her. 1479 01:49:10,273 --> 01:49:13,709 Oh, sod a dog. I've made the wrong decision, haven't I? 1480 01:49:15,745 --> 01:49:17,610 Yeah. 1481 01:49:17,680 --> 01:49:20,615 Max, how fast is your car? 1482 01:49:20,950 --> 01:49:24,249 Hey 1483 01:49:24,320 --> 01:49:28,120 - Good luck! - If anyone gets in our way, we have small nuclear devices. 1484 01:49:28,191 --> 01:49:30,056 - Where to? - All I can think is The Ritz. 1485 01:49:30,126 --> 01:49:32,720 - Where's Bella? - She's not coming. 1486 01:49:32,795 --> 01:49:35,992 - Oh, sod that. Bernie, in the back. - What? 1487 01:49:38,601 --> 01:49:41,035 - So glad we made it - Max, I'm okay. 1488 01:49:41,103 --> 01:49:43,196 - So glad you made it - Come on, babe. 1489 01:49:43,272 --> 01:49:46,207 You gotta gimme some lovin' 1490 01:49:46,275 --> 01:49:48,470 Gimme, gimme some lovin' 1491 01:49:48,544 --> 01:49:51,172 - Gimme some lovin' - Gimme, gimme some lovin' 1492 01:49:51,247 --> 01:49:53,579 - Gimme some lovin' - Which way are you going? 1493 01:49:53,649 --> 01:49:56,812 Down Kensington Church Street, then Knightsbridge, then Hyde Park Corner. 1494 01:49:56,886 --> 01:49:59,548 - No, crazy. Go along Bayswater. - That's right. Then Park Lane. 1495 01:49:59,622 --> 01:50:01,681 No, straight down to the Cromwell Road, then left. 1496 01:50:01,757 --> 01:50:03,748 No! 1497 01:50:05,161 --> 01:50:08,824 Stop right there! I will decide the route. All right? 1498 01:50:08,898 --> 01:50:11,128 Sorry, Max. 1499 01:50:11,200 --> 01:50:14,135 James Bond never has to put up with this sort of shit. 1500 01:50:14,203 --> 01:50:17,866 Well, I feel so good Everything is soundin' hot 1501 01:50:17,940 --> 01:50:21,137 You better take it easy 'cause the place is on fire 1502 01:50:21,210 --> 01:50:23,770 Turn right! 1503 01:50:23,846 --> 01:50:25,336 - I can't. It's one way. - Do a U-turn. 1504 01:50:25,414 --> 01:50:28,178 Oh, sod it. Hold on. 1505 01:50:28,251 --> 01:50:33,981 So glad we made it 1506 01:50:34,056 --> 01:50:37,253 Brilliant! 1507 01:50:37,326 --> 01:50:39,817 - Gimme, gimme some lovin' - Gimme some lovin' 1508 01:50:39,896 --> 01:50:41,830 Gimme, gimme some lovin' 1509 01:50:41,898 --> 01:50:45,334 - Gimme some lovin' every day - Bloody hell, this is fun! 1510 01:50:45,401 --> 01:50:47,334 - Hey - Sorry. 1511 01:50:47,403 --> 01:50:49,701 Hi. Is Miss Scott staying here? 1512 01:50:49,772 --> 01:50:53,173 - No, sir. - How 'bout Miss Flintstone? 1513 01:50:53,242 --> 01:50:56,268 - No, sir. - Uh, Bambi? 1514 01:50:56,345 --> 01:50:59,473 - No, sir. - Or, um- 1515 01:50:59,549 --> 01:51:03,679 I don't know. Beavis or Butt-head? 1516 01:51:03,753 --> 01:51:06,586 No, sir. 1517 01:51:06,656 --> 01:51:09,318 Thanks. Thanks. 1518 01:51:09,392 --> 01:51:12,020 There was a Miss Pocahontas, 1519 01:51:12,094 --> 01:51:14,722 but she checked out about an hour ago. 1520 01:51:14,797 --> 01:51:17,527 I believe she's holding a press conference at the Savoy... 1521 01:51:17,600 --> 01:51:20,660 before flying to America. 1522 01:51:24,974 --> 01:51:26,908 We have liftoff. 1523 01:51:36,018 --> 01:51:38,009 You have message for Takiama? 1524 01:51:38,087 --> 01:51:40,248 I'll just check, sir. 1525 01:51:44,260 --> 01:51:47,525 - Gimme some lovin' - Gimme, gimme some lovin' 1526 01:51:47,597 --> 01:51:50,498 Gimme some lovin' every day 1527 01:52:03,379 --> 01:52:05,745 Bugger this for a bunch of bananas. 1528 01:52:10,052 --> 01:52:13,783 Stop! Stop! Stop! Stay there! Go! Go! 1529 01:52:13,856 --> 01:52:17,121 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on! 1530 01:52:17,193 --> 01:52:20,219 Come on! No! Wait! Wait there! 1531 01:52:20,296 --> 01:52:22,423 Come on! Come on! Wait! 1532 01:52:22,498 --> 01:52:25,661 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Go on! Through, through! 1533 01:52:27,303 --> 01:52:29,863 You're my hero! 1534 01:52:29,939 --> 01:52:31,873 Whoa! Down boy. 1535 01:52:31,941 --> 01:52:34,000 Everybody should and I'm 1536 01:52:34,076 --> 01:52:36,203 So glad we made it 1537 01:52:36,278 --> 01:52:39,338 Hey, hey So glad we made it 1538 01:52:39,415 --> 01:52:42,384 You gotta gimme some lovin' 1539 01:52:42,451 --> 01:52:49,049 - Gimme, gimme some lovin' - Gimme some lovin' 1540 01:52:49,125 --> 01:52:51,525 Gimme, gimme some lovin' 1541 01:52:51,594 --> 01:52:53,528 - Gimme, gimme some lovin' - Excuse me. 1542 01:52:53,596 --> 01:52:56,262 - Yes? - Where's the press conference, please? 1543 01:52:56,332 --> 01:52:59,460 - Are you an accredited member of the press? - Yep. 1544 01:53:01,003 --> 01:53:05,463 - There you go. - That's a Blockbuster Video membership card, sir. 1545 01:53:05,541 --> 01:53:08,669 That's right. I work for their in-house magazine. 1546 01:53:08,744 --> 01:53:11,008 - Movies Are Our Business. - I'm sorry, sir. 1547 01:53:11,080 --> 01:53:13,571 - He's with me. - And you are? 1548 01:53:13,649 --> 01:53:17,983 Writing an article on how London hotels treat people in wheelchairs. 1549 01:53:18,988 --> 01:53:22,151 Yes, of course, madam. It's in the Lancaster Room. 1550 01:53:22,224 --> 01:53:24,658 Though I'm afraid you're rather late. 1551 01:53:24,727 --> 01:53:26,661 Run! 1552 01:53:41,977 --> 01:53:45,811 Does this mean that Miss Scott will not be publicizing her next film? 1553 01:53:45,881 --> 01:53:48,111 No, it absolutely does not mean that. 1554 01:53:48,184 --> 01:53:50,379 She'll be abiding by all her present commitments. 1555 01:53:50,453 --> 01:53:54,355 She just won't be making any more for the next year. 1556 01:53:54,423 --> 01:53:56,516 When will the film be released? 1557 01:53:56,592 --> 01:53:58,890 At the moment, the plan is to release in America... 1558 01:53:58,961 --> 01:54:00,895 towards the end of the autumn, 1559 01:54:00,963 --> 01:54:04,261 and over here around Christmas or early in the new year. 1560 01:54:04,335 --> 01:54:06,428 Right! Dominic. 1561 01:54:06,504 --> 01:54:09,667 Anna, how much longer are you staying in the U.K., then? 1562 01:54:09,741 --> 01:54:11,675 No time at all. I leave tonight. 1563 01:54:11,743 --> 01:54:16,680 Which is why we have to round things up now, so final questions, please. 1564 01:54:16,748 --> 01:54:18,443 Yes. Lady there. 1565 01:54:18,516 --> 01:54:21,383 Is your decision to take a year off anything to do... 1566 01:54:21,452 --> 01:54:24,717 with the rumors about Jeff and his present leading lady? 1567 01:54:24,789 --> 01:54:28,225 - Absolutely not. - Do you believe the rumors? 1568 01:54:28,293 --> 01:54:32,161 Well, it's really not my business anymore. 1569 01:54:32,230 --> 01:54:37,031 Though I will say, from my experience, rumors about Jeff do tend to be true. 1570 01:54:39,737 --> 01:54:43,730 Yeah. The last time you were here, there were some fairly graphic photographs... 1571 01:54:43,808 --> 01:54:47,835 taken of you with a young English guy. 1572 01:54:47,912 --> 01:54:51,040 So, uh, what happened there? 1573 01:54:51,115 --> 01:54:54,516 He was just a friend. We're still friends, I think. 1574 01:54:54,586 --> 01:54:57,817 Right, um- 1575 01:54:57,889 --> 01:55:00,289 Yes. Gentleman in the pink shirt. 1576 01:55:05,964 --> 01:55:10,492 Yes. Miss Scott, 1577 01:55:10,568 --> 01:55:13,002 are there any circumstances in which... 1578 01:55:13,071 --> 01:55:16,006 the two of you... 1579 01:55:16,074 --> 01:55:19,237 might be more than just good friends? 1580 01:55:21,012 --> 01:55:25,779 I hoped there would be, but no, I'm... assured there aren't. 1581 01:55:25,850 --> 01:55:29,411 - But what would you say if- - Sorry. Just the one question, please. 1582 01:55:29,487 --> 01:55:32,081 No, it's all right. You were saying. 1583 01:55:33,825 --> 01:55:36,885 I was just wondering if, uh, 1584 01:55:36,961 --> 01:55:40,727 it turned out that this person, uh- 1585 01:55:40,798 --> 01:55:42,766 Thacker. His name was Thacker. 1586 01:55:42,834 --> 01:55:44,961 Thanks, thanks. 1587 01:55:45,036 --> 01:55:47,698 I just wondered whether if... 1588 01:55:47,772 --> 01:55:51,731 Mr. Thacker realized he'd been a daft prick... 1589 01:55:54,178 --> 01:55:57,614 and got down on his knees and... begged you to reconsider, 1590 01:55:57,682 --> 01:56:01,448 whether you would, in fact, then... 1591 01:56:01,519 --> 01:56:03,578 reconsider? 1592 01:56:13,097 --> 01:56:16,260 Yes, I believe I would. 1593 01:56:18,469 --> 01:56:21,563 That's very good news. Um- 1594 01:56:23,007 --> 01:56:26,443 The readers of Horse & Hound will be absolutely delighted. 1595 01:56:33,318 --> 01:56:36,810 Right. Uh, Dominic, if you'd like to ask your question again? 1596 01:56:36,888 --> 01:56:42,292 Yeah? Anna, how long are you intending to stay here in Britain? 1597 01:56:50,167 --> 01:56:52,835 Indefinitely. 1598 01:56:59,343 --> 01:57:04,303 She may be the face I can't forget 1599 01:57:04,381 --> 01:57:07,714 The trace of pleasure or regret 1600 01:57:07,785 --> 01:57:13,690 May be my treasure or the price I have to pay 1601 01:57:13,757 --> 01:57:17,090 - She may be the song that - What happened? 1602 01:57:17,161 --> 01:57:19,129 - Summer sings - It was good. 1603 01:57:19,196 --> 01:57:23,030 May be the chill the autumn brings 1604 01:57:23,100 --> 01:57:26,160 May be a hundred different things 1605 01:57:26,237 --> 01:57:30,571 Within the measure of a day 1606 01:57:32,476 --> 01:57:37,539 She may be the beauty or the beast 1607 01:57:37,615 --> 01:57:41,813 May be the famine or the feast 1608 01:57:41,886 --> 01:57:47,085 May turn each day into a heaven or a hell 1609 01:57:47,157 --> 01:57:52,185 She may be the mirror of my dream 1610 01:57:52,263 --> 01:57:55,630 The smile reflected in a stream 1611 01:57:55,699 --> 01:57:59,635 She may not be what she may seems 1612 01:57:59,703 --> 01:58:03,195 Inside her shell 1613 01:58:38,042 --> 01:58:42,411 She who always seems so happy in a crowd 1614 01:58:42,479 --> 01:58:46,916 Whose eyes can be so private and so proud 1615 01:58:46,984 --> 01:58:49,418 No one's allowed to see them 1616 01:58:49,486 --> 01:58:53,582 When they cry 1617 01:58:53,657 --> 01:58:57,889 She may be the love that cannot hope to last 1618 01:58:57,962 --> 01:59:01,213 May come to me from shadows of the past 1619 01:59:01,347 --> 01:59:07,445 That I remember till the day I die 1620 01:59:07,520 --> 01:59:12,457 She may be the reason I survive 1621 01:59:12,525 --> 01:59:16,256 The why and wherefore I'm alive 1622 01:59:16,328 --> 01:59:19,661 The one I'll care for through the rough 1623 01:59:19,732 --> 01:59:22,200 And ready years 1624 01:59:22,268 --> 01:59:27,069 Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears 1625 01:59:27,139 --> 01:59:30,768 And make them all my souvenirs 1626 01:59:30,843 --> 01:59:34,404 For where she goes I've got to be 1627 01:59:34,480 --> 01:59:37,745 The meaning of my life is 1628 01:59:37,817 --> 01:59:46,691 She 1629 01:59:46,759 --> 01:59:51,856 Oh, she 1630 02:00:02,141 --> 02:00:06,009 It's in the way you are 1631 02:00:06,078 --> 02:00:10,378 You've got a way with me 1632 02:00:12,685 --> 02:00:17,486 Somehow you got me to believe 1633 02:00:19,992 --> 02:00:25,658 In everything that I could be 1634 02:00:25,731 --> 02:00:27,722 I gotta say 1635 02:00:27,800 --> 02:00:31,292 You really got a way 1636 02:00:31,370 --> 02:00:35,807 It's in the way you want me 1637 02:00:38,210 --> 02:00:43,147 It's in the way you hold me 1638 02:00:45,417 --> 02:00:50,411 The way you show me just what love's 1639 02:00:50,489 --> 02:00:52,719 Made of 1640 02:00:52,791 --> 02:00:59,492 It's in the way we make love 1641 02:00:59,565 --> 02:01:03,057 Oh, how I adore you 1642 02:01:03,135 --> 02:01:06,434 Like no one before you 1643 02:01:06,505 --> 02:01:11,272 I love you just the way you are 1644 02:01:11,343 --> 02:01:15,905 It's in the way you want me 1645 02:01:17,850 --> 02:01:23,220 Oh, it's in the way you hold me 1646 02:01:25,457 --> 02:01:30,360 The way you show me just what love's 1647 02:01:30,429 --> 02:01:32,659 Made of 1648 02:01:32,731 --> 02:01:38,431 It's in the way we make love 1649 02:01:40,105 --> 02:01:46,874 It's just the way you are 1650 02:01:59,425 --> 02:02:04,522 No matter what they tell us 1651 02:02:04,596 --> 02:02:07,793 No matter what they do 1652 02:02:09,768 --> 02:02:14,000 No matter what they teach us 1653 02:02:15,007 --> 02:02:18,306 What we believe is true 1654 02:02:19,778 --> 02:02:25,375 I can't deny what I believe 1655 02:02:25,451 --> 02:02:28,909 I can't be what I'm not 1656 02:02:28,988 --> 02:02:34,187 - I know our love - I know our love's forever 1657 02:02:34,259 --> 02:02:40,027 - I know - I know no matter what 1658 02:02:41,266 --> 02:02:44,895 No matter who they follow 1659 02:02:46,405 --> 02:02:49,203 No matter where they've been 1660 02:02:51,543 --> 02:02:56,378 No matter how they judge us 1661 02:02:56,448 --> 02:03:01,283 I'll be everyone you need 1662 02:03:01,353 --> 02:03:06,950 - I can't deny what I believe - What I believe 1663 02:03:07,026 --> 02:03:10,484 I can't be what I'm not 1664 02:03:10,562 --> 02:03:12,757 I know I'm not 1665 02:03:12,831 --> 02:03:17,325 I know this love's forever 1666 02:03:17,403 --> 02:03:25,037 That's all that matters now no matter what 1667 02:03:26,545 --> 02:03:30,538 - No, no matter what - No, no matter 1668 02:03:30,616 --> 02:03:33,551 - That's all that matters to me - No, no matter what 1669 02:03:33,619 --> 02:03:35,951 No, no matter 1670 02:03:36,021 --> 02:03:38,683 - That's all that matters to me - No, no matter what 1671 02:03:38,757 --> 02:03:41,089 No, no matter what 1672 02:03:41,160 --> 02:03:43,822 - That's all that matters to me - No, no matter what 1673 02:03:43,896 --> 02:03:46,057 No, no matter what 1674 02:03:46,131 --> 02:03:49,123 - That's all that matters to me - No, no matter what 1675 02:03:49,201 --> 02:03:51,431 No, no matter what 1676 02:03:51,503 --> 02:03:54,768 That's all that matters to me