(SOPRANOS THEME SONG)
(Pussy) So how's your mom, Ton? (Tony) Same.
But my ex-goomar's cousin, I got her to take care of her. Russian girl.
Who was telling me the Bevilaqua kid has money from construction?
- Fucking Matthew was never any good. - He sure cried like a baby.
I think the family was relieved he got taken out.
What are you gonna eat?
Hey, waiter!
(STOPPING TAPE)
That's the closest CW16 got Tony to discussing the Bevilaqua murder?
I think at this point it's time to consider 16, Bonpensiero, compost.
Bonpensiero was crucial to the Webistics stock fraud case.
So RICO-wise...
the airline tickets, mail and wire fraud...
if the mother testifies for immunity.
Whose own mother's gonna testify?
I say focus on his garbage business.
- Extortion. Interstate trucking. - It'll yield a prosecutable murder.
Richie Aprile, no doubt about it, the cartel had him whacked.
But Tony shows diligence when it comes to debugging.
- What about the home? - They talked in the basement.
His own basement? Where's the due diligence there?
Tony avoids business at home.
He'll take somebody out by the pool. Except there he fears parabolics.
The basement has noisy AC ducts. He turns on the air and he feels safe.
"Surreptitiously enter and leave." A "sneak and peek" warrant.
- Correct. - I said you could enter the basement.
Do we have to impact this family's privacy?
First we determine where to best place the wire.
Then the listening device will be fabricated and we install it.
See that they limit both entrances to the basement.
It's not a Better Homes and Gardens tour.
Happy hunting.
(Tony) You know, the coffeemaker's got to be plugged in for it to work!
Same time as yesterday.
I'm just going to the stationery store.
I'll be right back. You don't gotta follow me. All right?
(HONKING)
To drop a wire there's got to be nobody home for at least two hours.
The maid is gone on Tuesday afternoons.
- Why? - Classes to get her U.S. citizenship.
She's gone from 1 till about 2:45.
Class, then she and her husband have lunch.
He's applying for citizenship too.
What's his name again?
- Stasiu Wosilius. - I'll run that by Anti-Terrorism.
Carmela's gone on Tuesday. Tennis.
We need somebody on her and everybody that's got a key to the house.
Daughter's at Columbia.
Why risk it? She's 45 minutes away. Put somebody on her.
Anyone breaks for home, we need to warn the team to get the hell out.
(RAP SONG PLAYING)
- Unit 1, Baby Bing headed your way. - Copy, control.
Unit 2, you got Bada Bing headed your way.
Excuse me. Unit 3, Mrs. Bing also in motion.
(sums POP some
- Do you have contact of Princess Bing? - Roger, control.
(SPY THEME SONG PLAYING)
Unit 4, here comes the maid. Gray Jetta.
S.E. Team, the location's secure. You have 90 minutes.
Control, we're headed into the sausage factory.
(POP SONG PLAYING)
Oh, Look at this.
- Just in time. - Set a plate.
You got it.
I had him darn it in the shoulder, like she wanted.
- It shouldn't have torn. - Beautiful coat.
- What the fuck? Lunch is ready. - I wash my hands.
- You washed your hands. - I tied my shoe.
- So what? - I can't stand touching shoelaces.
Ever tie your shoes and notice the ends of your laces are wet?
- From what? Why would they be wet? - I got no fucking idea.
- You stand at the urinals... - Come on, will you?
He's asking, I'm telling. It's important.
Even if the lace is dry and you don't touch the shoe.
- Bacteria and virus migrate. - You see this on TV?
I gotta watch TV to figure out the world? A men's shithouse is a sewer.
In ladies' johns, you could eat maple ice cream from the toilets.
There's exceptions. But a men's?
Piss all over the fucking ﬂoor. Urinals jammed with cigarettes.
They can pour all the ice they want, it does nothing to kill germs.
- Even if you don't drag the laces. - Shut the fuck up!
Mission control, I'm disabling the line to the phone company.
Phone line to the alarm is neutralized. Cut it.
Hold your breath. I'm clipping the siren.
Pick it, Wilson.
Control, we're working on entry. Estimate three to four minutes.
You're not hungry?
- Have some braciole. - No, thanks.
I got no appetite.
- Today would've been our birthday. - "Our" birthday?
Oh, yeah.
Spoons.
- Happy birthday. How old are you? - 51.
Who came first, you or Spoons?
Philip was my kid brother by 11 minutes.
Hey, it was a fucking tragedy.
What're you gonna do?
- It's the life we chose. Right, Pat? - But my brother was never a heavy guy.
I mean, he was a sweet, gentle man.
- Your brother was your twin brother? - Philly.
Friends, like us, called him Spoons. Somebody whacked the kid.
Before you came over.
You big-mouthed fuck! Fuck!
(GUN SHOTS)
- You identical twin? Or the other kind? - Identical.
Here, have something to eat.
There's a twin bond. Unless you experienced it, you can't understand.
- Okay with onions? - Maybe it sounds crazy to you.
Hey, nothing sounds crazy anymore. The older I get...
It's over, right?
Don't it happen that twins can die within days of each other?
- That would've been okay, believe me. - Come on! God forbid!
- I miss him so much. - Well, that's natural.
You're with us. Leave the morbid shit back at Junior's crew...
and have a happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
You wanna commit suicide? Tie your shoes and have a bite of braciole.
Hey, stonato, it's a joke. Come on!
Hello!
- God, don't transfer me now. - Adriana La Cerva.
How green was my fucking valley.
Carmela!
Hi, Ed.
This is my friend. Adriana La Cerva, Ed Restuccia.
I'm delighted to teach a pal of Carm's. My most disciplined student.
Perfect muscle tone doesn't hurt either.
I have to apologize, Carm.
I thought I called everybody. I won't be teaching here anymore.
- Everything's all right? - Basically.
Kitty got this dot-com job in San Diego, so we're moving.
- I didn't even know you were married. - Yeah.
But you're in luck. Birgit is taking over.
- How wonderful. - I never even played once.
That's why you're here.
Carm, I was wondering about letters of recommendation...
Kitty's company sells antiques, so if you wanted a piece...
- No antiques. My house is traditional. - I'm cutting into your lesson.
- Carmela, bye. Nice meeting you. - Take care.
( MARCHING BAND PLAYING )
Baby Bing is leaving school property. I'm on it.
- Taking orders. - Snapple.
- Me too. - I only got 2 bucks.
Mrs. Celeste almost saw my board.
- What a retard rule: "No boards." - They can't see how useful boards are.
In the cafeteria, each person could just roll past the food...
- ...and make their decisions. - Yeah.
That food tastes like ass.
Hit it!
- I had enough for one. - Give me a hit.
Don't backwash.
- I won't do anything for this school. - Mom's all, "Get involved."
- I am. With boarding. - It's Egon.
Hey, Kosma!
Okay!
- Where you been? - Orthodontist.
- What class you ditching? - Assembly.
- Excellent jersey. - Yeah.
- Wait. You went out for JV ball? - Yeah.
Mr. Quadriplegic, remind me not to visit you in the hospital.
- That is a cool shirt. - Yeah.
- What position? - Douche bag.
(LAUGHS)
Okay, cut it!
(SINGING SCHOOL THEME)
Y'all should have come.
- Where'd you go? - We started off at Smoke's, as usual.
But we wound up at this place, Ruby Foo's...
round Broadway and 65th, or something.
It was so fun. God, did I get hammered!
- Don't you have a quiz today? - Frosh Week. What do they expect?
- I'll study now. - I have a bio lab. I haven't read it.
- Still miss New Jersey? - It's only, like, half an hour away.
It's just this transition. It's a lot of work.
New York is an experience that unalterably changes a person.
- It is really great. - And all this freedom of college.
(SINGING NEW YORK THEME)
- When did you have your last cocktail? - 11:30 this morning.
Jesus, Caitlin.
(LOUD SIRENS OUTSIDE)
- What is the most important right? - Right to vote.
( In Polish ) What is this?
Special capers from Italy. Soprano kids don't like them.
- Who wrote the "Star-Spangled Banner"? - Martin Luther King.
- Stasiu, you know this. - I want to eat.
Francis Scott Key.
Fuck his whore of a mother.
What holiday was celebrated by the American colonists?
- Martin Luther King. - Stasiu!
That's answer to number 49. "Who was civil rights leader?"
- Which sandwich is for you? - I don't care.
This hostility of yours.
Why do we bother having our picnics together?
Are you so bitter about driving a cab you have to ruin a beautiful day?
- Ready. - Start shooting over here.
Back in Lodz, I was an engineer with 20 employees...
and a grant from the state to do autonomous research.
It bores you?
Don't take those out. Put them with capers. I take them home.
They belong to Mrs. Soprano.
They have so much stuff. Tomorrow I'm taking some champagne glasses.
That's just for Anthony Jr.
- They're expecting WWIII. - More likely the Colombo wars.
He's got the Black & Decker. I got one of those.
- 120-gallon water heater. - My house, we shiver after showers.
Wait a minute. Go back.
Look at the brown water, there.
- What, Ike? - You don't see it?
Creep forward. Give us some magnification.
That baby's gonna blow.
Tony got about six months left on that lining.
- A shame we can't warn him. - During his trial we can inform him.
Except that's at least a year from now. By that time, boom!
Okay, now you see that lamp there?
- Is that the C-140 microphone? - They took sound readings. That's new.
They talk where the AC is loudest. That's where we're placing it.
When's this puppy going in?
Tomorrow.
Okay, fellas and gals, our big day. As I speak I have Baby Bing, on time.
Handing off to you, George.
I'm on Baby Bing's carpool vehicle.
Furio Giunta Cadillac returning. Went past me about five minutes ago.
Der Bingle's up early. He's in the Cadoo.
- Copied. I got the handoff. - Roger that.
- How's the stock doing? - Up three at the close.
- Another two so far today. - Beautiful.
Listen, Ton, I think we may have a problem.
Log off. That cookie shit makes me nervous.
We may have a problem about our friend, the twin.
Yeah, so?
Joey Fleiss hangs out at The Nest, in Bloomfield.
- Chip's place. - Yeah.
Our friend is a fixture there. Joey says he's been into the booze.
He's all fucked up. They had to pick him up off the floor.
Chip went to him. "Pat, what the fuck? Can I do anything?" Etcetera.
Pat launches this diatribe about how one can smile and still be a villain.
And that he knows how his brother died and who's responsible.
- He mention me by name? - No. Me neither.
- Hearing this? - How would he know we clipped Spoons?
- Twin telepathy? - Somebody's putting ideas in his head.
(GOLF ANNOUNCER ON TV)
- Don't let us interfere with your game. - May be a cop trying to flip him.
Getting him worked up with theories.
- He was talking weird. - What do we do?
We brought him over from Junior to keep an eye on him.
So that's what we'll keep doing.
Make no mistake, part of this guy loves you.
But it's gotta be hard coming in to work...
looking in the eyes of the guy who had your brother whacked.
And even having to smile.
We always have the option.
Mrs. Bing in motion.
We got the housekeeper then it's all yours.
(LAUGHING)
Hit low to high, Carmela! And think about your grip.
Fuck!
No, that's good. Nice extension.
Ah!
Racket back, Carmela! Come on!
- Fuck. - No, that's good.
- Shouldn't that housekeeper be out? - Take a look.
Ow!
Okay, guys, collect.
Ade, let me work with you here. Carm, you collect.
Maid's car is still here.
Okay, let's just focus. Be serious and follow through.
- Right! Almost. - Okay.
( In Polish ) Oh my God. Oh my God.
- Did you hear something? - I don't know.
We think we heard something from inside the sausage factory.
Hold your position.
Okay.
- Stand up straight. - Okay.
Here you go.
See? Low to high. All right, I can't do this with you.
(PHONE RINGING)
- Okay. - Sorry.
She's leaving the court.
Der Bingle's leaving the Bing too.
Hey, watch it!
This does not look good. Mrs. Bing bearing north on Grand View Avenue.
She's on Boxwood Road. She's heading toward the factory.
Abort. Repeat, abort! S.E. Team, get the hell out of there.
Abort, Andy. It's not a go. Repeat, we are not a go.
- Must be a crisis with a kid. - I place Baby Bing in the school.
- Unit 5, report. - A big Roger from this end too.
She went in her room. She told a friend she was gonna sleep.
- Think somebody made us? - I don't know.
But we're finished for today, ladies and gentlemen.
Ten years. Ten fucking years he said this thing would last! Motherfuck!
- You said that. What are you doing? - I told you not to put this shit here!
Fuck!
- Fuck! - Never mind that. Save the pictures.
The prom. Look at this. Fucking ruined.
- Mr. Ruggerio, thank God. - The fucking water heater blew.
Your guarantee's gotta be expired by now.
Madonna.
- Do we have any idea what went down? - No.
- Family emergency. - Plumber went there.
Look, we don't have any idea what happened.
So let's not speculate.
We're shit out of luck till Tuesday.
We'll send somebody there to stake the house out.
Maybe we got a long-term problem.
Well, we're heading back to Quantico.
We got a job in Denver day after tomorrow.
A mosque.
(KNOCKING)
Morning. We'd like to get onto your property to trim some growth...
that's posing a safety hazard with the power lines.
Okay. Go around the side.
Records show our repair department had some crews here yesterday.
- Were you affected by the shortfalls? - Yesterday?
No.
Oh.
The people next door had some trucks go up there. But, no, we're fine.
How about them? Do you know if everything's okay over there?
As far as I know.
- Well, we'll go talk to them. - Probably you should.
- They're in the M... - Pardon?
Nothing. They're different.
For this neighborhood, they're different, that's all.
- Well, we'll get busy in the back. - Thanks.
- Still nothing out of the ordinary. - Ls the kid home sick?
I don't see him. I see an arm, piece of robe...
it could be Tony. He's eating Sugar Pops.
Wait, somebody just walked past the kitchen window. It's the maid.
- They're good. - Fresh this morning.
- How are things on Bloomfield? - The Cuban was at the casino.
Big John's okay with a 60-40 split because we own the building.
- What the hell? - What?
The fuck? Is that Pat Parisi?
Oh, shit!
What should we do?
He's drunk!
- I told John, "Look..." - Let's talk downstairs.
Motherfucker.
I don't understand this at all.
Cocksucker.
What's up, Ike?
What happened at the Soprano house was, the heater blew.
Our unit saw Ruggerio haul the old one out.
- Ruggerio. A plumber? - Why?
My sister was friends with Mrs. Ruggerio.
Yeah, that's Mr. Ruggerio's neighborhood.
We have to get it in before our warrant goes stale.
Boy, we've had every one of Tony's phones bugged for four years.
- The guy says less than Harpo Marx. - Next Tuesday the wire drop's a go.
Der Bingle has left the building.
(HONKING)
They fucking made me.
- Wire drop is still a go. - Confirming access to switching box.
I'm going in.
Unit 2, Mrs. Bing in motion.
- Just the maid and it's yours, team. - Copy that.
Siren wire is cut.
The teacher knows nothing.
Why do you quarrel with him always? English is his first language...
He waste our time with those trick questions. "Stop. Men at work."
How do we know it doesn't mean, "Stop all men who are working"?
He shouldn't have taken a point.
He thinks I'm a hack cabbie from Pakistan.
- Please, where are you going? - I'm going back to work!
- Excuse me? - You scared me.
Sorry. ls the West Essex Language School around here?
- There. - Is it coed?
- What? - You wouldn't happen to be Polish?
Yes.
That's... My grandmother is Polish.
It's locked today.
- Yes? - My grandmother...
Excuse me. How can I help you, sir?
I was wondering if I could ask you about the school. How is it?
Sweet mother of Jesus! Look at her today.
Hi, Ade!
Hi, guys. Be back in a second.
Listen to this now. "Hi, Ade!"
Hi!
- Hi. - Hey, you.
- I love those. - Yeah?
Oh, my God.
- Where'd you get them? - Near my house.
Ay-Ay-Ay.
- This table's been moved. - From the flood.
It's not under the duct anymore. Should we move it?
- Two, three feet? Who's gonna notice? - No, wait. Somebody might.
But normal course of events, Tony will assume Carmela moved it back.
- If anybody even notices. - Make an executive decision.
- Grab an end. - Easy.
When she heard I was deferring, she's like, "That's sketchy."
Are you serious?
Eric Scatino hates Montclair. He's doing acid.
God, he was so straight-edge. Hi, Caitlin.
Hi.
This is Hunter, my friend I was telling you about.
(LOUD RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
Wow.
Do you like Citron Jell-O shots?
- I haven't had any alcohol in a week. - I know.
I was gonna say we should go to Panchito's, then I remembered. Bad idea.
- I went to the health center. - For that problem swallowing?
They gave me BuSpar.
That's for anxiety, right?
I guess.
There was this weight lifter on the subway.
He was eating chicken parts and spitting bones back in the container.
And the whole car reeked.
This blind man sitting next to him, you could tell he felt invaded.
We all did. Everybody just stared straight ahead.
New York.
(DOOR OPENING)
Hey.
Where is everybody?
- What're you doing? - Receipts from Sunday's game.
- You got a problem? - What, Ton?
I said, "Do you got a problem?"
- With what, Ton? - I heard you got a problem being here.
I like being here.
- You're sure? - Yeah.
Don't say you're sure if you're not sure.
You bought your daughter a nice house? After you came over with us?
- Yeah, that's nice. - Wonderful thing.
And your brother, buon'anima.
You've recovered from that shit? You put your grief behind you?
Let me hear you say it.
I put the grief behind me.
I'm gonna go get a coffee and a bun.
You got a younger son too? You ought to bring him to the house.
We can get something to eat, they can go in the pool.
We'll have to leave this junk on the table. Don't know where to put it.
Control, you hearing me?
- Loud and clear. Leave the factory. - Roger that.
Wire's in, Bobby. I'm good to go.
- Control, we're in motion. - Touchdown.
Dig, Soprano! Come on! You wanna join the team?
You think it's all for show and not for go? Dig in.
You're out of there, George. Unit 3, we're in.
(FOOTSTEPS)
- So I got a job for you. - Right.
- Might get a little messy. - I understand.
- Wet work. - All right.
- I'll make it worth your while. - I'm not worried.
- Look over here. - Minimization, 40 seconds.
- The old one flooded the whole place. - I can smell the mildew, you know?
You're an engineer. I figured you could rig a system...
some PVC shit or something, so if it happens again...
you get the overflow and put it over to a sump pump.
Chip out the concrete.
- Four-O. - They're not discussing OC.
In two minutes we're allowed to check back in.
What do you think?
Whatever.
Well, how much?
Time, materials... I don't know how to concoct estimate.
Well, fair enough.
- Let me get measure. Get started. - All right.
- Hi, Stasiu. - Hello.
- You gonna use this? - If you want it, take it.
- No, you go ahead. - Go ahead. I'll use the bike.
I have to sort Meadow's laundry anyway.
Lilliana's making her a leg of lamb to take.
In Lodz, I had grant from the state to do an autonomous research.
Why don't you use it? I'll take the bike.
Jesus, already. No, you go ahead.
Stas said he could smell the mildew down here. Right, Stas?
We've gotta let the place dry out.
Got some girl to take care of my mother.
- Yeah, where'd you find her? - Agency.
(Tony) Good coffee this morning.
(Carmela) Vienna Roast. It's not as acidic as the Italian.
Cleaned me out.
What you need is more roughage overall in your diet.
I've had something stuck in my teeth for two days.
You gotta use the other floss.
(POP SONG PLAYING)