♪ You woke up this morning Got yourself a gun ♪
♪ Your mama always said You'd be the chosen one ♪
♪ She said "You're one in a million ♪
♪ And you've got to burn To shine" ♪
♪ But you were born Under a bad sign ♪
♪ With a blue moon In your eyes ♪
♪ And you woke up this morning And all that love had gone ♪
♪ Your papa never told you About right and wrong ♪
♪ But you're looking good Baby ♪
♪ I believe that You're afeelin' fine ♪
♪ No shame about it ♪
♪ Born under a bad sign ♪
♪ With a blue moon In your eyes ♪
♪ Sing it now ♪
♪ Woke up this morning ♪
♪ You got a blue moon ♪
♪ Got a blue moon In your eyes ♪
♪ Woke up this morning ♪
♪ You say you woke up This morning ♪
♪ The world turned Upside down ♪
♪ Lordy, brother Things ain't been the same ♪
♪ Since the blues Walked in our town ♪
♪ But you're one in a million ♪
♪ 'Cause you got That shotgun shine ♪
♪ No shame about it Born under a bad sign ♪
♪ With a blue moon In your eyes, yeah ♪
♪ Yeah ♪ ♪ Woke up this morning ♪
♪ Got yourself a gun ♪
♪ Woke up this morning ♪ ♪ Got yourself a gun ♪
Mr. Soprano?
Ahem. Yeah.
Have a seat.
My understanding from Dr. Cusamano,
your family physician, is that you collapsed.
Possibly a panic attack?
You were unable to breathe?
They said it was a panic attack.
Of course, all the blood work and the neurological work
came back negative.
And they sent me here.
You don't agree that you had a panic attack?
How are you feeling now?
Good.
Fine.
Back at work.
What line of work are you in?
Waste management consultant.
Look, it's impossible for me to talk to a psychiatrist.
Any thoughts at all on why you blacked out?
I don't know.
Stress, maybe.
About what?
I don't know.
The morning of the day I got sick, I'd been thinking.
It's good to be in something from the ground floor.
I came too late for that, I know.
But lately, I'm getting the feeling
that I came in at the end.
The best is over.
Many Americans I think feel that way.
I think about my father.
He never reached the heights like me.
But in a lot of ways, he had it better.
He had his people, they had their standards,
they had pride.
Today, what do we got?
Did you have these feelings of loss more acutely
in the hours before you collapsed?
I don't know.
A couple months before,
there's these two wild ducks landed in my pool.
It was amazing.
They're from Canada or someplace,
and it was mating season.
They had some ducklings.
Oh, what's the matter?
Come on, get some bread.
Come on.
Yumyum. Yumyum.
My daughter's friend was there to drive my daughter, Meadow, to school.
Meadow, your father with those ducks.
I know, the whole yard smells like duck poo.
It's, like, embarrassing. Girls, you gotta have
more than just cranberry juice for breakfast, all right?
You need brain food for school.
Happy birthday, handsome. Mwah! Thirteen.
Yeah, he doesn't act it. Shut up.
The male and female duck made a home in your pool and did it?
Ew! Get out of here! You're so gross!
Girls, you want some of last night's sfogliatelle?
Get out of here with that fat.
One bite.
How do you stay so skinny, Mrs. Soprano?
Him, with those ducks.
Listen, if you don't like that ramp,
I'll build you another one.
Maybe it's the wood.
Hey! Hey, kids! Come here!
Come here, they're trying to fly!
The babies! They're trying to fly!
Look, they're trying to fly.
National Geographic, Dad.
Yeah, super.
You showed us yesterday.
This is great!
Now my wife feels this friend is a bad influence.
It's so cool you're gonna be able to come to Aspen
with my family at Christmas.
Last year at Aspen I saw Skeet Ulrich,
as close as from where you're sitting.
Oh, my God.
Miss Meadow, we made a deal.
You keep your school grades up and you keep your curfew
between now and Christmas, then you get to go.
I know that.
Morning, ladies. Hey, Mr. Soprano.
We're late, Dad. Hey, happy birthday.
Thanks, Dad.
You're gonna be home tonight
for Anthony Jr.'s birthday party, right?
Birdman, hello?
Yeah. Yeah. I'll get home early from work.
I'm not talking about work.
This isn't gonna work.
I can't talk about my personal life.
Finish telling me about the day you collapsed.
I drove to work with my nephew, Christopher.
He's learning the business.
Now, he's an example of what I was talking about before.
Did you call what'shisname down at Triboro Towers
about the hauling contract?
I got home too late last night.
I didn't want to wake the man up.
Did you get up early this morning and call?
He's always in his office by 6:00.
I was nauseous this morning.
My mother told me I shouldn't even come in today.
Bear in mind, this is a kid
who just bought himself a $60,000 Lexus.
There's that guy Mahaffey. Get out.
Yeah, right there next to the booboo in pink.
Back up.
My friend Mahaffey.
Pulling his taffy.
Hello.
We saw this guy...
and there was this issue of an outstanding loan.
Can I stop you for a second?
I don't know where this story is going.
But there are a few ethical ground rules
we should quickly get out of the way.
What you tell me here
falls under doctor/patient confidentiality.
Except, if I was...
If I was to hear, let's say, a murder was to take place.
Not that I'm saying it would, but if.
If a patient comes to me and tells me a story
where someone's going to get hurt,
I'm supposed to go to the authorities.
Technically.
You said you were in waste management.
The environment.
Dr. Cusamano, besides being your family physician,
is also your nextdoor neighbor.
See what I'm saying?
I don't know what happened with this fellow.
I'ml'm... I'm just saying.
Nothing.
We had coffee.
Alex!
Help!
♪ Don't know why I love you like I do ♪
♪ Nananana ♪
♪ Know why I do ♪
Security! Help!
Oh, shit!
♪ I just want Your love to share ♪
♪ Now I wonder why ♪
♪ I love you like I do ♪
♪ Is it because I think you love me too? ♪
♪ I wonder why ♪
♪ I love you like I do ♪
Asshole!
Christopher: Tony! Wait up!
♪ Don't know why I care ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, oohooh Oohooh, ooh ♪
Security!
Hey, security!
You all right? My leg is broken!
The bone's coming through! Oh, let me see. Let me see.
I'll give you a fucking bone, you prick!
Where's my fucking money?
So you had coffee.
Right.
You son of a bitch, motherfucker!
What are you doing? Get over here!
That's $3,000 here!
$3,000.
Go ahead.
Where's our fucking money?
Ah! I'll get the money!
I know you'll get the fucking money.
You know what you should get? A cork in your fucking mouth,
because you tell people I'm nothing
compared to the people that used to run things.
Sorry! You prick.
I'm nothing?
I'm s...
Shut up!
What are you crying about?
HMO, huh?
You're covered, you prick!
Degenerate fucking gambler.
Go on.
Next day, I had a breakfast meeting.
I was called in to consult
by a garbagehauling company I represent.
All right, Big, what's the story with Triboro Towers?
Well, the site manager wants to renew his contract with Dick,
but this Kolar Sanitation...
It's another nationwide company.
Yeah, the Kolar brothers.
They're some kind of Czechoslovakian immigrants or some shit.
These Polacks, they'll haul paper, plastic and aluminum
for 7,000 a month less than Dick.
They pay us 40 times the monthly for stealing your stop.
That's the thing. They won't.
He says if he can tell the commie bosses back in Czechoslovakia
to go fuck themselves, he can fucking tell us.
Oh!
I give up.
Fucking garbage business.
Yeah, I know. It's all changing.
Let me see what I can do.
Are you sure?
You over your stomachache? Oh, yeah.
Good.
What are you doing here? Hey.
Hey, Gabriella sends me down here for the gabagool.
The gabagool. Best in the area.
Hey, T, let me ask you something.
You used to go to school with a guy named Artie Bucco?
This situation came up. It involves my uncle.
I can't go into details on this one.
That's fine. But I will say this.
My uncle adds to my general stress level.
It's none of my business,
but down at the club,
word is your Uncle Junior is gonna whack Pussy Malanga.
He's gonna do it at your friend Artie Bucco's restaurant.
Hey, boys. How are you?
Don't move.
Uncle Jun', how you doing?
Hey!
Hey, good to see you.
Hiya, Chris. Hey, Uncle Junior.
Yeah, I was just talking about you.
It's Anthony Jr.'s birthday dinner tonight, right?
Yeah. Yeah. Don't buy anything big.
We overindulge him.
Okay?
Hey! Oh!
Artie, how's your rash? It's itchy.
Come here.
Good to see you.
Can you come over? Yeah, have a seat.
You know what it means for Arthur,
one of these old mutts gets wet in here?
Yeah. It'll ruin his business.
You better sit down with your uncle.
Uncle Junior's my father's brother.
Good guy. Just getting old.
Cranky.
Used to take me to Yankee games when I was a kid.
I love my uncle.
At the same time, when I was young,
he told my girl cousins I would never be a varsity athlete.
And, frankly, that was a tremendous blow
to my selfesteem.
Who's there?
It's me, Ma.
Who are you?
Ma, open the door.
Anthony? Yeah, it's me.
Open the door.
Hi, how are you?
Geez, Ma, get some air in here.
You lock the door after you?
Yeah, I did.
You know, somebody called here last night after dark.
Who?
You think I'd answer? It was dark out.
Ma, I'll never understand that.
The phone is an auditory thing. Dark is an eye thing.
I can understand not going out after dark.
You get jumped in the shadows, whatever.
But not answering the phone after dark?
Oh, listen to him. He knows everything.
You want some lunch? I got eggplant.
No. No. I just ate.
Know who I just ran into? Uncle Jun'.
Oh, that one.
You think he ever comes to see his sisterinlaw?
Yeah.
Remember Artie Bucco?
Kid who I went to elementary school with?
Artie. Oh!
Yeah, I still see his mother.
She tells me he calls her every day.
Yeah, well...
Uncle Jun's gonna make a problem for Artie.
Could affect his livelihood.
What's that?
CD player.
For who?
For me? Yeah.
I don't want it.
You don't want...?
You love music.
All the old stuff is being reissued on CD.
All your old favorites.
"Pajama Game," Connie Francis.
Here.
Come on. Come on. Move around a little bit.
It's good for you. What? What?
Oh... Come on, come on.
Stop that.
Ma, you need something to occupy your mind.
When Dad died, you were going to do all kinds of things.
Oh, he was a saint.
Yeah, I know he was, but he's gone.
You were gonna travel,
you were gonna get a volunteer job.
You've done nothing. Stop telling me how to live my life.
Just shut up.
I just worry about you...
And don't start with that nursing home business again.
It's not a nursing home! How many times I gotta say this?
It's a retirement community.
You're with active seniors your own age.
You go places. You do things.
I've seen these women in these nursing homes
in these wheelchairs, babbling like idiots.
Here, eat your eggplant.
I told you, I already ate lunch.
All right, listen.
You just speak to Uncle Junior about Artie, okay?
He respects you. He'll listen to you.
If your uncle has business with Arthur,
he knows what he's doing.
And I don't?
Well, all I know is,
daughters are better at taking care of their mothers than sons.
Yeah, and I bought CDs for a broken record.
And I expect to see you tonight at Anthony Jr.'s birthday party
with your baked ziti.
Only if I'm picked up and I'm brought back home.
I don't drive when they're predicting rain.
You're a healthy girl. It's good for you to drive.
Use it or lose it. I gotta go to work.
Sure.
Run off.
And that night was my son's birthday party.
My wife invites the priest.
He's always at the house.
Hey, Tony. How you doing?
You like crème anglaise?
You bless it, I'll eat it.
She's not coming. Who?
Grandma just called.
Started crying and hung up.
She needs a purpose in life.
Your mother is tougher than you think.
So what? No fucking ziti now?
Hey!
At first, it felt like...
ginger ale in my skull.
Mom, Daddy just fell! Mom!
Oh, my God! Tony! Tony!
Dad!
Get back!
Madonna mia! Daddy!
Dad!
Anthony Jr., call 911.
Dr. Cusamano put me in the hospital.
Gave me every kind of test.
When you're in the MRI,
there's a microphone by your head
if you get claustrophobia and have to come out.
Only, I suggest that you don't do that,
'cause we'd only have to start over again from the beginning.
Okay.
Hey, Carm.
Thought you might want some company.
Yeah.
6:30 in the morning.
How are the kids?
They're worried about you.
I told Anthony Jr. we'd raincheck his birthday.
Okay.
Think I got a brain tumor?
Well, we're gonna find out.
What a bedside manner.
Very encouraging.
What are you, gonna not know?
We had some good times.
Had some good years.
Here he goes now with the nostalgia.
Hey, all I'm saying is no marriage is perfect.
Well, having that goomar on the side helps.
I told you, I'm not seeing her anymore.
How do you think I feel having that priest around all the time?
Don't even go there, all right?
Father is a spiritual mentor.
He's helping me to be a better Catholic.
Yeah.
Well, we all got different needs.
What's different between you and me
is you're going to hell when you die!
My nephew, Christopher,
was handling the garbage contract problem.
But on this, I will also not go into detail.
♪ Now, when I was A little boy ♪
♪ At the age of five ♪
♪ I had something In my pocket ♪
♪ Keeps a lot of folks alive ♪
♪ Now I'm a man ♪
♪ Made 21... ♪
Emil Kolar.
Chris Moltisanti.
In Czech Republic, too, we love pork.
You ever have our sausages?
No, no. I thought the only sausages they had
was Italian and Jimmy Dean's.
See what you learn when you cross cultures and shit?
My Uncle Evzen doesn't know I came.
But if we make any progress here tonight,
I'll have to tell him.
Hey, we have to make progress, Email.
We gotta stop the madness.
The garbage business is changing.
You and I are the younger generation.
We have issues in common.
"Emil."
Where'd you go to high school? Was it Poland?
I'm not Polish.
Well, Czechoslovakian, what's that?
That's a type of Polack, right?
We came to this country when I was nine.
I went to West Essex.
Yo, money, you used to play my cousin Gregory in football.
He went to Boon... Where's the stuff?
Ah, yes. Yes, yes.
The reason for the visit.
I got it all deployed for you.
Taste the wares, Email.
"Emil."
♪ I'm a man ♪
♪ Spelled M... ♪
The doctors kept me hanging about the tests,
as doctors will do.
So my uncle and I played a round of golf and had lunch.
You keep mentioning your uncle. What seems to be the problem?
Who do you think you are?
I'm the person who says how things go,
that's who I think I am.
Now, listen, Artie's dinner business is nice,
upscale people from the suburbs.
Don't ruin his life.
Vesuvio is where Pussy feels safe.
He's been eating here all his life.
Hey, you kill him someplace else.
You may run North Jersey,
but you don't run your Uncle Junior.
How many fucking hours did I spend playing catch with you?
Can we focus more on your immediate family?
My wife and my daughter were not getting along.
Woman on TV: Your husband plowed under his corn to build a baseball field.
Darn, these laser discs are incredible.
Tony watches Godfather II all the time.
He says the camera work looks just as good as in the theater.
Yeah, Gordon Willis. Tony prefers II, not I?
Yeah. He likes the part where Vito goes back to Sicily.
III was, like, what happened?
Where does Tony rank Goodfellas?
What, do you have raccoons?
Somebody's jimmying the window.
What?
You have all these security lights.
Who would try and...?
Oh, no.
Jeez, Louise.
Hold it!
Meadow?
I notice the glass rattles every time I walk to the laundry room.
Do we have any, whatdoyoucallit, putty?
Don't give me that.
You snuck out! What's going on?
You locked my bedroom window on purpose so I'd get caught.
Normal people thought you were upstairs doing your homework.
You have become a master of lying and conniving.
Yeah, I know I'm grounded,
but Patrick's swim meet is tomorrow, and he needed me.
Grounded for this?
Oh, no, you're not grounded.
You're not going to Aspen with Hunter Scangarelo,
that's where you're not going.
Yes!
But this shit I'm telling you, it'll all blow over.
Didn't you admit to Dr. Cusamano
that you were feeling depressed?
Melfi.
What part of the Boot you from, hon?
Dr. Melfi.
My father's people were from Caserta.
Avellino.
My mother would've loved it if you and I got together.
Anxiety attacks are legitimate psychiatric emergencies.
Suppose you were driving and you passed out?
Let me tell you something.
Nowadays, everybody's gotta go to shrinks and counselors
and go on Sally Jessy Raphael
and talk about their problems.
Whatever happened to Gary Cooper?
The strong, silent type.
That was an American.
He wasn't in touch with his feelings.
He just did what he had to do.
See, what they didn't know is once they got Gary Cooper
in touch with his feelings,
that they wouldn't be able to shut him up.
And then it's dysfunction this, and dysfunction that,
and dysfunction vaffancul'.
You have strong feelings about this.
Let me tell you something.
I had a semester and a half of college,
so I understand Freud.
I understand therapy as a concept.
But in my world, it does not go down.
Could I be happier?
Yeah. Yeah, who couldn't?
Do you feel depressed?
Since the ducks left...
I guess.
The ducks that preceded your losing consciousness.
Let's talk about them.
You can't blame T for being pissed.
You whacked this kid. You should've waited for me.
That's the last time I show any fucking initiative.
Imagine how I felt?
T's running down the garbage business;
I just fucking wet a guy to hold on to one of our stops.
He's not running it down. It's getting harder in New York.
Back.
One, two, three!
Come on!
This is fucked up.
What, Pussy?
The Kolar uncle is gonna find the kid dead in one of his bins
and get out of our fucking business?
No way.
Louis Brasi sleeps with the fishes.
"Luca Brasi."
Luca. Whatever.
There's differences, Christopher, okay,
from the Luca Brasi situation and this.
Look, the Kolars know the kid is dead, it hardens their position.
Plus, now, the cops are looking for a fucking murderer.
So, what do you wanna do?
He disappears.
He never comes home.
They know, but they don't know.
They hope maybe he'll turn up... if.
Yeah, yeah.
Come on. Let's get him.
Got him? Yeah.
Take him to Staten Island. I'll cut him up.
All right. Pussy, you know, T collapsing at the birthday,
what would you do if he was, like, disabled?
Why would you even ask that?
Our lecture series in action.
It's someone from the university
discussing the novels of, I believe, Zora Neale Hurston.
Hm!
Didn't you just read her in school, Med?
It's very nice.
You know, Grandma, this place is pretty neat.
You should really think about it.
This room was renovated last year.
What goes on behind there?
Those doors lead to our nursing unit.
This is a nursing home!
Ma... This is a residence,
but just in case...
No, you are not getting me into...
Ma, you're not listening. Ma, that's not what she said.
You're not listening to what she's saying, Ma.
I know these women in their wheelchairs.
Babbling like idiots. Ma, you're not listening.
No, Anthony, please. Ma...
You think you're so high and mighty, don't you?
With your fancy office.
Ma... Ma...
Anthony, people come here to die.
Oh, my God!
Somebody get a doctor.
Dad! Get a... oh!
So?
You've come back for help.
Don't look at that as a defeat.
She's part of that generation
that grew up during the Depression.
But the Depression to her was a trip to Six Flags.
There's that "D" word again.
Stay with your mother.
Now that my father's dead, he's a saint.
When he was alive?
Nothing.
Hm!
And my dad was tough.
He ran his own crew.
A guy like that, and my mother wore him down to a little nub.
He was a squeaking little gerbil when he died.
Quite a formidable maternal presence.
I gotta be honest with you, I'm...
not getting any satisfaction from my work either.
Why?
Well, because of RICO.
Is he your brother?
No, the RICO statutes?
Of course. Right. You know? You read the papers?
You know the government's using electronic surveillance
and various legal strategies to squeeze my business.
Do you have any qualms about how you actually make a living?
Yeah.
I find I have to be the sad clown.
Laughing on the outside...
crying on the inside.
See, things are trending downward.
Used to be a guy got pinched,
he took his prison jolt no matter what.
Everybody upheld the code of silence.
Nowadays, no values.
Guys today have no room for the penal experience,
so everybody turns government witness.
I feel exhausted just talking about it.
Well, with today's pharmacology,
no one needs to suffer
with feelings of exhaustion and depression.
Here we go.
Here comes the Prozac.
♪ But when I see you naked ♪
♪ Lose all control ♪
♪ Like a fire burning Deep in my soul, yeah ♪
Mahaffey does not have the money.
What do you mean, Mahaffey doesn't have the money?
Mahaffey does not have the money.
How could he not have the money?
The man does not have the money.
We ran the man over with the car, T himself.
The man has no wiggle room.
He's bled dry.
So...
I hear that Junior wants to whack Pussy Bompensiero.
Pussy Malanga.
Oh, Little Pussy? Yeah, Little Pussy.
You think he's gonna fuck with Big Pussy?
My Pussy?
Andrea.
Stay with drinks on the house, all night.
Sorry, Mr. Dante.
Sorry. That's okay.
So...
your uncle resents that you're the boss.
Sadness accrues.
Your uncle's had a hardon
his whole life, first against your father,
his younger brother,
because he was a made man before him.
And now you.
So, sure, he can't stomach your telling him what to do.
Hesh, I love the man.
The man is driven, in toto,
by his insecurities.
I feel bad I was the messenger.
Your friend, Artie, with the restaurant,
get him out of town for three weeks.
That way, the restaurant closes,
the hit has to go down someplace else.
You old fucking Jew.
No wonder my old man kept you around so long.
So, what about this fucking Jew's 250 on Mahaffey's 100?
All right, Mahaffey has a new business partner:
You.
These HMOs,
they pay out millions of dollars every day
to doctors, hospitals, whatever the fuck.
That MRI I had? $2,000 a pop.
Now, we give this Mahaffey a choice.
He either has his company start paying out phony claims
to fake clinics we set up,
or he pays Hesh the 250 grand he owes him,
which we know he cannot do.
Or it's a rainy night in Lyndhurst.
Very smart.
Could be major.
Could be as good as garbage.
Hey, garbage is our bread and butter.
Was.
Miss Meadow.
So, Med... I'm not going.
Every year on this date since you were ittybitty,
Mom and Meadow get all dolled up,
drive into New York, Plaza Hotel,
for tea under Eloise's portrait.
Look. Where's yours?
I have too much homework.
Meadow, it's our little tradition.
We always have so much fun.
To tell you the truth,
I felt it was dumb since I was eight.
I just go because you like it.
And here I thought this was something we would do
long after you got married with girls of your own.
Hopefully I won't be living anywhere around here by then.
You've got mail.
Meadow, you can't just lie and cheat
and break the rules you don't like.
What? You have something you want to say to me?
Mom, do you have any idea
how much it means to actually go skiing in Aspen?
I mean, do you think that's gonna happen every year,
like lame tea and scones at the Plaza Hotel?
Goodbye.
Close my door, please.
There he is. Artie.
Okay, give me a drop. Give me a drop.
Oh! A drop, not a spurt.
Suave, a drop.
Artie. That's good.
Hey! How are you?
All right, stir the meatballs.
Listen, I was wondering if you can help me out.
Yeah, what do you need?
Cruise, Caribbean, "S.S. Sagafjord,"
11th through the 29th.
Pair of tickets. I can't use them.
Can you take them off my hands?
Where'd they come from?
Comps.
Comps?
What does that mean, "comps"?
In my capacity as business manager
for the Kitchen and Restaurant Workers Union,
I administer the dental plan.
You listening to me? Yeah. Yeah.
A couple of dentists got together, and in appreciation,
they awarded me these tickets.
Problem is, I can't get away those days.
Here.
When's the last time you got away and took a little vacation?
Anthony, thank you.
All right.
Mr. Soprano...
You cannot accept a gift like that from Tony Soprano.
No way. Listen to me, Charmaine,
if I gotta stick my hand up the ass of one more lobster
without taking a break, I'm gonna go postal.
Arthur, I don't even want to talk about it anymore.
Please!
Art... Art, Melissa.
Come on, honey. It's time to go home.
Honey, you have to get away. Come on.
We have to get away, for the marriage.
No! It's bad enough that these mobsters
still come in and patronize the place, okay?
But so, what? We're not connected.
Right, because we just turned down those tickets.
But the tickets were comps.
Tony is a labor leader.
Arthur, please grow up!
Does the mind not rebel at any possible scenario
under which dentists are sending the don of New Jersey
first class on a Norwegian steamship?
Come on, Arthur.
Somebody donated their kneecaps for those tickets.
Herman, there is no way I can subvert my fucking company.
What, have them pay claims for MRIs that never happened?
The paperwork will look just like the real.
Well, how do I not get caught?
Alex, I hate to hear you knocking yourself like this.
Come on, you're a smart guy.
I'm depressed.
I'm so fucking depressed I can't eat, sleep.
You on Prozac? Zoloft. It's similar.
It's supposed to help with the gambling too.
Yeah? No shit. Yeah, well,
this whole new generation of antidepressants
are supposed to be useful against compulsive behaviors.
That's a shame.
A medication comes along after your gambling
gets your fucking hip busted to shit.
I'm trying not to be cynical. Alex, son,
your debt and the feeling surrounding it
is the source of all your problems.
You know it and I know it.
I'm sorry I haven't paid you, Herman.
I know you are.
And I never meant to denigrate Tony Soprano.
Hey, you wanna go for a walk in the rocks?
The crutches. I can't. Come on. It's beautiful there.
Come on. We'll help you.
I go out there to think.
Thanks, but no.
Let's try it.
What you were saying before, you know, with the MRIs.
( train whistle blares distantly )
T!
Dick's looking for you!
Hey, Tony.
I just heard from Triboro Towers.
The Kolar brothers withdrew their bid.
That's good. That's good.
Oh, listen, by the way, Artie Bucco's here to see you.
I gotta go, guys.
Take care. I'll see you.
Artie!
Artie, you all right?
I can't.
What are you talking about?
We discussed this. You gotta leave town.
I'm sorry.
This is unacceptable.
I had an 8:00 reservation I made two weeks ago.
Sir, as I explained,
people are not leaving their tables,
and there are five parties ahead of you.
So, what would you like...? Can I help you?
I tore her a new one.
Why don't we just go to another restaurant and eat?
We're here.
Mr. Soprano, how you doing?
Giuseppe, how you doing?
Hey. Signora, come stai?
This way. Excuse me.
Sweetie pie, I'm hungry.
Tony, where are you going? Hey.
Hey.
How are you?
Good.
You come here?
When possible.
Hey, listen,
those decorating tips you gave me,
they really work.
Good.
How you doing?
Nils. Nils.
Do you know who that was?
Well, I mean, obviously, you do.
What, is he a patient?
You know I can't say.
Decorating tips. Yeah, right.
Nils, shut the fuck up.
Mr. Borglund, they're setting up your table right now.
Whoa.
Who was that woman tonight at the restaurant?
My decorator.
What, you're redoing the garbage dump?
That's funny.
Hey, you better not be messing with that hat!
Goddamn! Come on! That's JFK's hat!
I bought it at that auction!
Give me that!
Irina, Jesus.
I know there is something more intimate between you and her.
Nothing intimate. We just talk.
Yeah.
Oh, like that.
Mr. Soprano, buonasera.
Months we don't see you. Where you been?
Signora Carmela.
Da questa parte.
You know, sometimes...
life is good.
Life is often good.
True Regaliali, for example.
You been in good spirits the last couple days.
Carmela...
something I gotta confess.
What are you doing?
Getting my wine in position to throw in your damn face.
You're always with the drama, you.
Go ahead and confess already, please, get it over with.
I'm on Prozac.
Oh. Oh, my God.
I've been seeing a therapist.
Oh, my God.
I think that's great.
I think that's so wonderful. I think that's so gutsy.
All right, take it easy. I just think that's wonderful.
Well, you'd think I was Hannibal "Lecture" before or something.
I just think it's great.
Psychology doesn't address the soul.
That's something else. But this is a start.
This is something. Oh, I'm gonna shut up now.
I'll shut up now.
You're the only person who knows.
The only reason I'm telling you this is 'cause you're my wife,
and you're the only person on this planet
that I'm completely and totally honest with.
Oh, please.
Hey, goddamn it, I'm serious.
The wrong person finds out about this,
and I get a steeljacketed antidepressant
right in back of the head.
I didn't realize you were so unhappy.
I don't know.
My mother...
You told him about your father, right?
Who? Your therapist.
Yeah.
Yeah, I told him.
Oh, good.
But your mother is the one.
I don't know.
I just feel like lately my life's out of balance.
Our existence on this earth is a puzzle.
My own daughter hates me.
She doesn't hate you, Carm.
We were best friends.
Mothers and their daughters.
She'll come back to you.
Hello?
Jesus, I got through.
What's the matter, no social life?
Blow me.
Dad! I brought you my primavera.
It's your favorite.
Who is it? Christopher.
Hey. Friend of ours just got back in town.
Newscaster on TV: Little Pussy Malanga,
sometimes confused with fellow mobster Big Pussy Bompensiero,
had just returned from Florida when he was...
So it's gonna go down soon?
Don't worry about it. I got a way to put it to bed.
Come on, Meadow!
Go, Falcons! Let's go!
So when do you need this by?
Right away.
Way to go, Meadow!
Beautiful. Beautiful.
I got it!
I think I can get a party like that together.
Side out? That ball hit the line.
What are you doing, ref?
Mom didn't come?
Didn't think you wanted her to.
The car's over there.
Hey, Mr. Dante. Hi.
See you, Heather. Hey.
You guys played a good game.
That Heather Dante, where'd she get that spike?
Dad, don't you think it's totally unfair
what Mom is doing?
And now, like, making this little movie scene out of it.
The sad mom who can't even come to her daughter's sports events.
Dad.
Don't you think it's totally out there?
I mean, my Aspen trip. What is she thinking?
Dad?
It's been years since I've been here.
Dad, please talk to her. Please.
This is so stupid.
Why are we sitting here?
You know, your mother thinks you have the capacity
to be a top student, and I agree.
What do you guys want, perfection?
What are you looking at?
Your greatgrandfather and his brother Frank,
they built this place.
Big whoop.
Stone and marble workers.
They came over here from Italy, and they built this place.
Yeah, right.
Two guys.
No.
There were two guys and a crew of laborers.
They didn't design it...
but they knew how to build it.
Go out now and find me two guys
who can put decent grout around your bathtub.
So I feel good.
So I don't know if I'm gonna be needing to come back.
It's not the Prozac.
Why not?
You said you're thinking clearer,
and your wife says you seem to be better?
It's not the medication.
Prozac takes several weeks
to build up effective levels in the blood.
Well, what is it, then?
Coming here. Talking.
Hope comes in many forms.
Well, who's got time for that?
What is it you want to say to me?
I had a dream last night.
My belly button was a...
Phillips head screw.
And I'm working unscrewing it.
And when I get it unscrewed...
my penis falls off.
You know, I pick it up, and I'm holding it,
and I'm running around looking for the guy
who used to work on my Lincoln when I drove Lincolns,
so he can put it back on.
And, you know, I'm holding it up,
and this bird swoops down and grabs it in its beak...
and flies off with it.
What kind of bird?
I don't know.
Seagull or something.
A waterbird?
I saw The Birds last week on cable.
You think maybe that planted the idea?
What else is a waterbird?
Pelican.
Flamingo.
What about ducks?
Those goddamned ducks.
What is it about those ducks that meant so much to you?
I don't know, it was just a trip
having those wild creatures come into my pool
and have their little babies.
I was sad to see them go.
Oh, Jesus, fuck. Now he's gonna cry.
Shit. Fuck me.
When the ducks gave birth to those babies,
it became a family.
You're right.
That's the link.
The connection.
I'm afraid I'm gonna lose my family...
like I lost the ducks.
That's what I'm full of dread about.
That's always with me.
What are you so afraid's going to happen?
I don't know.
You work so hard.
You work so damn hard.
And to see your life's dream...
burn down.
Look at it this way. You collect the insurance.
That's all.
Arthur, you gotta say to yourself,
it could've been worse. Yeah.
How could it have been worse?
Fucking faulty stove.
Suppose people stop coming to the restaurant? You ever think of that?
I don't know. I don't know what the fuck.
He's right about that.
There's no insurance for that.
But why would people stop coming to the restaurant?
It's just starting to catch on.
Know what I'm figuring out lately?
Talking helps.
That's right.
He's right, he's right.
Hope comes in many forms.
Absolutely.
Come on.
Oh, jeez. Here, hold this.
Come on. Artie...
Artie, come on. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, look at me. Look at me.
I'll always help you.
Come on. Come on.
Go cook.
Hey, let him cook. He'll feel better. Go ahead.
Hey, someday I'll tell him we torched the restaurant
as the best solution.
All right, enough of this shit. What's wrong with you?
You know, a simple, "Way to go, Chris,"
on the Triboro Towers contract would've been nice.
That's it.
You're right.
I have no defense.
That's how I was parented.
Never supported. Never complimented.
You know, my cousin Gregory's girlfriend
is what they call a development girl
out in Hollywood, right?
She said I could sell my life story, make fucking millions.
I didn't do that. I stuck it out with you.
I'll fucking kill you.
What are you gonna do, go Henry Hill on me now?
You know how many mobsters are selling screenplays
and screwing everything up?
She said I could maybe even play myself.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Forget Hollywood screenplays. Forget those distractions, huh?
What do you think, I haven't had offers?
You got work to do.
New avenues.
Everything's gonna be all right from here on in.
Come on.
Lookit, it's a beautiful day.
What could be bad?
It's nice of you to pick me up for the party, Junior.
At least somebody cares about me.
These kids today. I suppose he thinks
once he's got me locked in a nursing home,
I'll die faster.
And then he won't have to drive me anywhere.
Well, if his father were still alive,
you can bet your boots
he'd show more decency and respect for his mother.
Well, my brother John was a man among men.
He was a saint.
Anyway, lots of things are different now
from Johnny's and my day.
What do you mean?
I'm not free to run my business like I want.
Oh, isn't that awful.
Just this week, your son stuck his hand in.
Made it a hundred times more difficult for me.
Plus, he thumbs his nose at New York.
Oh! What are you gonna do?
He's part of a whole generation.
You remember the crazy hair?
And the dope.
Now it's fags in the military.
Stop it, Junior.
You're making me very upset.
I don't like to, Livia,
but I'm all agita all the time.
And I'll tell you something else.
Things are down all across the board.
A lot of friends of ours are complaining.
We used to be recessionproof.
No more.
You can't blame it all on the Justice Department.
Our friends say to me,
"Junior, why don't you take a larger hand in things?"
Something may have to be done, Livia, about Tony.
I don't know.
There they are. Hey, Ma. Uncle Jun'.
You're using mesquite.
That makes the sausage taste peculiar.
Hi, Grandma.
Happy birthday, my big boy.
Carmela, my mother's here.
Everybody, let's eat!
I want him to open my present first.
Hey, Arthur. Arthur.
What am I, babysitting for you?
Hey, Meadow, I'm not gonna eat, are you?
( boys laughing and imitating gunfire )
♪ The beast in me ♪
♪ Is caged by frail And fragile bars ♪
♪ Restless by day ♪
♪ And by night Rants and rages at the stars ♪
♪ And God help ♪
♪ The beast in me ♪
♪ God help ♪
♪ The beast in me ♪