1 00:01:07,569 --> 00:01:09,820 Houston, this is Condor. 2 00:01:09,988 --> 00:01:12,948 We are doing an EVA of the payload. 3 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:16,201 We are about to present the module with... 4 00:01:17,537 --> 00:01:18,663 What the...? 5 00:01:18,830 --> 00:01:22,082 Oh, my gentle Jesus! 6 00:01:22,751 --> 00:01:25,419 Houston, we have a problem. 7 00:01:26,755 --> 00:01:30,090 Launch procedure commence. 8 00:01:44,856 --> 00:01:46,523 Oh, yeah! 9 00:01:46,691 --> 00:01:49,860 Oh, yes! Yes! 10 00:01:51,863 --> 00:01:55,991 And I'm spent. 11 00:01:56,409 --> 00:02:00,121 - Do you smoke after sex? - I don't know, baby. I never looked. 12 00:02:02,408 --> 00:02:05,627 Oh, Austin. 13 00:02:06,629 --> 00:02:09,380 - What shall we do now? - Well, I've got an idea. 14 00:02:09,548 --> 00:02:11,800 - Why don't we shag? - Again? 15 00:02:11,967 --> 00:02:15,220 Sure, baby. We're only up to chapter 11 in the Kamasutra. 16 00:02:15,638 --> 00:02:18,765 Don't you wanna try the Wheelbarrow or the Praying Donkey... 17 00:02:18,933 --> 00:02:21,184 ...or the Chinese Shag Swing? 18 00:02:21,352 --> 00:02:23,770 I'm gonna get us some more champagne, Jungle Boy. 19 00:02:25,147 --> 00:02:27,816 I'm gonna get us some more champagne, Jungle Boy. 20 00:02:32,321 --> 00:02:33,863 Are you okay? 21 00:02:34,031 --> 00:02:36,115 I've never felt better, Austin. 22 00:02:37,743 --> 00:02:39,410 All right, then. 23 00:02:40,079 --> 00:02:42,997 I'm just gonna go watch a movie. 24 00:02:45,918 --> 00:02:49,379 Hey, In Like Flint. That's my favorite movie. 25 00:02:58,014 --> 00:03:01,183 Vanessa, what's going on? 26 00:03:03,019 --> 00:03:06,272 I don't know what you mean, Austin. I'm the same... 27 00:03:08,942 --> 00:03:10,150 You must... 28 00:03:12,863 --> 00:03:14,280 Oh, my God! 29 00:03:18,952 --> 00:03:20,119 Vanessa! 30 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,079 You're a Fembot! 31 00:03:22,247 --> 00:03:23,873 No shit, Sherlock. 32 00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,544 Machine-gun jubblies? 33 00:03:28,712 --> 00:03:31,255 How did I miss those, baby? 34 00:03:31,798 --> 00:03:34,174 Perhaps next time you should try foreplay. 35 00:03:34,342 --> 00:03:36,802 Right. Oh, my God. 36 00:03:54,780 --> 00:03:57,157 Here's your wedding present, Mr. Powers. 37 00:03:57,325 --> 00:04:02,370 A kamikaze bride from me, Dr. Evil. 38 00:04:13,966 --> 00:04:15,592 Oh, thank God. 39 00:04:22,558 --> 00:04:25,018 I can't believe Vanessa... 40 00:04:25,186 --> 00:04:27,145 ...my bride... 41 00:04:27,313 --> 00:04:29,648 ...my one true love... 42 00:04:29,815 --> 00:04:33,693 ...the woman who taught me the beauty of monogamy... 43 00:04:33,861 --> 00:04:37,530 ...was a Fembot all along. 44 00:04:38,574 --> 00:04:41,701 Wait a tick. That means I'm single again. 45 00:04:42,161 --> 00:04:44,663 Oh, behave! 46 00:04:45,081 --> 00:04:46,957 Yeah! 47 00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:49,293 Yeah, baby, yeah! 48 00:04:49,461 --> 00:04:51,045 Halt! 49 00:05:04,559 --> 00:05:06,727 Disgusting. 50 00:05:11,525 --> 00:05:13,317 Yeah, baby, yeah! 51 00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:31,585 Yeah. 52 00:05:41,179 --> 00:05:42,972 Hey, how are you? Good to see you. 53 00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:45,391 Good. Hey. Yeah. 54 00:05:45,559 --> 00:05:47,477 Revolting. 55 00:05:49,981 --> 00:05:51,940 What's that? What's that? Oh. 56 00:05:52,108 --> 00:05:54,609 Yes. Yeah, that looks good on you, man! 57 00:05:54,777 --> 00:05:57,154 Hey, what's going on? Good to see you guys. 58 00:05:57,321 --> 00:05:59,823 Yes. Good to see you. 59 00:06:00,616 --> 00:06:02,367 Yeah. 60 00:06:02,535 --> 00:06:07,039 Rabbis, how are you? Nice meat. Yes, nice meat. 61 00:06:07,665 --> 00:06:08,707 Photo op. 62 00:06:33,066 --> 00:06:35,025 Yeah, baby. 63 00:07:33,377 --> 00:07:35,753 Keep a close eye on that Kreplachistan situation. 64 00:07:35,921 --> 00:07:37,421 Sir. 65 00:07:42,387 --> 00:07:43,887 Jerry, Jerry. 66 00:07:44,055 --> 00:07:46,849 Okay. Thank you. Thank you very much. 67 00:07:47,225 --> 00:07:49,101 If you just joined us, today's topic is: 68 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:52,062 "My father is evil and he wants to take over the world." 69 00:07:54,399 --> 00:07:57,734 Okay, let's meet Scott Evil. 70 00:08:02,490 --> 00:08:04,908 - Hi, Scott. Nice to have you with us. - Thanks, Jerry. 71 00:08:05,368 --> 00:08:06,743 Tell us about your father. 72 00:08:08,079 --> 00:08:10,914 Well, my dad is the head of a worldwide evil organization... 73 00:08:11,082 --> 00:08:13,250 ...with aspirations of world domination. 74 00:08:15,336 --> 00:08:17,421 Wow, pretty serious stuff. Where is he now? 75 00:08:17,922 --> 00:08:21,967 He's, like, cryogenically frozen, orbiting the Earth or something. 76 00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:23,385 That's what you think. 77 00:08:23,553 --> 00:08:25,470 But we have a surprise for you, Scott. 78 00:08:25,638 --> 00:08:28,765 Okay, let's bring out Scott's father, Dr. Evil. 79 00:08:30,435 --> 00:08:33,604 What? I didn't... What? 80 00:08:35,273 --> 00:08:37,275 General, we've got a situation here. 81 00:08:40,613 --> 00:08:41,654 What is it, sergeant? 82 00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:43,239 Hello, Scott. 83 00:08:44,116 --> 00:08:45,825 Daddy's back. 84 00:08:46,118 --> 00:08:49,621 How could you do this to me? On national television. 85 00:08:49,788 --> 00:08:52,123 Well, throw me a fricking bone here, Scott. 86 00:08:52,917 --> 00:08:55,168 Why'd you run out on me? 87 00:08:56,295 --> 00:08:58,129 Because you're not quite evil enough. 88 00:08:59,798 --> 00:09:01,132 Well, it's true. 89 00:09:02,468 --> 00:09:03,927 You're quasi-evil. 90 00:09:04,261 --> 00:09:05,637 You're semi-evil. 91 00:09:05,804 --> 00:09:07,597 You're the margarine of evil. 92 00:09:08,432 --> 00:09:10,767 You're the Diet Coke of evil. 93 00:09:10,935 --> 00:09:13,478 Just one calorie. Not evil enough. 94 00:09:13,646 --> 00:09:15,396 What are you? Some kind of freak? 95 00:09:15,564 --> 00:09:17,982 - Hey, shut up, ****off! - Okay. Okay, come on. 96 00:09:18,150 --> 00:09:21,319 - I'll kick your ***, punk! - Bring it on, you skanky *****. 97 00:09:21,487 --> 00:09:22,946 All right, all right. Come on. 98 00:09:23,113 --> 00:09:25,323 No one talks to my son like that. It's okay. 99 00:09:25,491 --> 00:09:27,742 You mother******* piece of ****! 100 00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:32,998 Yeah, ****! I'll kick your ***, you ****ing ****sucker! 101 00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:34,291 You piece of ****! 102 00:09:36,711 --> 00:09:39,838 You were born in your mother's ****, you **********. 103 00:09:40,006 --> 00:09:41,674 Jerry, Jerry. I'm okay. 104 00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:43,008 I'm okay. 105 00:09:43,176 --> 00:09:46,178 All right, you were born in your mother's ******* *******! 106 00:09:46,346 --> 00:09:49,431 - I'll ****ing kill you! I'll kill you both! 107 00:09:50,225 --> 00:09:52,184 There you go. Great. 108 00:09:52,852 --> 00:09:55,354 There you go, I got your hood! I got your hood! 109 00:09:55,522 --> 00:09:58,107 Settle down. Okay, settle down. It's okay. Okay, okay. 110 00:09:58,275 --> 00:10:00,109 It's only a television show. Calm down. 111 00:10:00,277 --> 00:10:03,028 - Okay, I'm all right. I'm easy. - Okay. Everything okay? 112 00:10:03,196 --> 00:10:06,740 - Get this jerk out of here. - I'll give you a **** piece of ****... 113 00:10:06,992 --> 00:10:08,284 You mother******. 114 00:10:11,037 --> 00:10:12,288 He's biting me! 115 00:10:12,455 --> 00:10:15,040 He's biting me! The ****er's biting me! 116 00:10:15,208 --> 00:10:16,959 **** off, you ****! 117 00:10:17,127 --> 00:10:19,545 Give me that! The world is mine! 118 00:10:19,713 --> 00:10:22,006 The world is mine, you *******! 119 00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:38,481 You've got mail. Hello, Basil. 120 00:10:38,649 --> 00:10:40,984 Hello, Austin. How was your honeymoon? 121 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:44,321 Well, it turns out that Vanessa was a Fembot. 122 00:10:44,488 --> 00:10:47,657 Yes, we knew all along, sadly. 123 00:10:48,576 --> 00:10:51,244 Anyway, I have a new assignment for you, Austin. 124 00:10:51,412 --> 00:10:53,413 You're scheduled for a photo shoot... 125 00:10:53,581 --> 00:10:56,750 ...and one of the models works for Dr. Evil. 126 00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,168 Groovy, baby! 127 00:10:58,336 --> 00:11:01,129 Shaguar, ho! 128 00:11:09,430 --> 00:11:10,889 Show me to the models, baby. 129 00:11:11,349 --> 00:11:14,017 Let the magic begin. 130 00:11:14,185 --> 00:11:17,145 Who have we got today? Okay, great. 131 00:11:17,313 --> 00:11:18,938 Austin, I've heard a lot about you. 132 00:11:19,106 --> 00:11:21,900 I'm Rebecca Romijn. I don't believe I've had the pleasure. 133 00:11:22,068 --> 00:11:26,113 Well, of course you haven't had the pleasure, Rebecca. 134 00:11:26,281 --> 00:11:28,240 We just met, baby, yeah. 135 00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:34,080 Who are you, baby? 136 00:11:34,247 --> 00:11:35,873 Ivana. 137 00:11:36,458 --> 00:11:38,292 Ivana Humpalot. 138 00:11:38,668 --> 00:11:39,919 Excuse me? 139 00:11:40,087 --> 00:11:41,796 Ivana Humpalot. 140 00:11:41,963 --> 00:11:46,258 And "lvana" toilet made out of gold, but it's just not in the cards, now, is it? 141 00:11:47,928 --> 00:11:49,220 You know. 142 00:11:49,388 --> 00:11:51,472 Okay, everyone. Let's get started. 143 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,808 Yes! Beautiful! Feeling it! 144 00:11:53,975 --> 00:11:57,269 Let's get some smiles. It's all in here. That's it. Yes. 145 00:11:57,437 --> 00:11:58,938 Let's let the inside out. 146 00:11:59,106 --> 00:12:00,314 Okay, you're an animal! 147 00:12:00,482 --> 00:12:02,983 Yes! There we go! You're a tiger! 148 00:12:03,151 --> 00:12:04,318 You're Tony the Tiger! 149 00:12:04,486 --> 00:12:05,986 You're great! 150 00:12:06,154 --> 00:12:09,073 Very good. Loving it. Now you're a lemur. 151 00:12:09,241 --> 00:12:12,284 Running as a pack. Yes, yes. We go left. 152 00:12:12,452 --> 00:12:14,328 We go right. Yes, yes, yes. 153 00:12:14,496 --> 00:12:17,123 There's a predator out in the jungle. What's going on? 154 00:12:17,290 --> 00:12:18,582 Burrow! Burrow! 155 00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:20,501 You're a lemur! It's all you've got! 156 00:12:20,669 --> 00:12:22,796 You don't have sharp teeth capable of biting. 157 00:12:22,964 --> 00:12:25,257 Make interconnected tunnels like the Vietcong. 158 00:12:25,425 --> 00:12:26,466 And look! Look, look! 159 00:12:26,634 --> 00:12:28,593 I'm not even shooting you. It's crazy. 160 00:12:28,761 --> 00:12:30,262 And I'm spent. 161 00:12:30,930 --> 00:12:32,639 Right, that's a wrap, everyone. 162 00:12:33,349 --> 00:12:34,349 Miss Humpalot. 163 00:12:34,517 --> 00:12:36,101 Da, darling? 164 00:12:36,269 --> 00:12:39,855 - Shall we? - Give me moment. 165 00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:51,992 Dr. Evil... 166 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:56,538 ...several years ago, we invested in a small, Seattle-based coffee company. 167 00:12:57,832 --> 00:13:02,043 Today, Starbucks offers premium-quality coffee... 168 00:13:02,211 --> 00:13:04,045 ...at affordable prices. 169 00:13:04,505 --> 00:13:06,798 Delish. 170 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,134 Dr. Evil... 171 00:13:09,302 --> 00:13:14,890 ...if we shift our resources away from evil empires and toward Starbucks... 172 00:13:15,057 --> 00:13:17,893 ...we can increase our profits fivefold. 173 00:13:18,060 --> 00:13:21,606 Number Two, I make the decisions here, okay? 174 00:13:21,773 --> 00:13:23,900 I demand a little respect. 175 00:13:24,067 --> 00:13:27,069 Dr. Evil, you have a little of the... 176 00:13:27,237 --> 00:13:28,988 Silence! 177 00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:32,533 I will not tolerate your insolence! 178 00:13:32,701 --> 00:13:34,076 Frau Farbissina. 179 00:13:37,915 --> 00:13:39,040 How are things? 180 00:13:39,208 --> 00:13:43,044 I have come to embrace the love that dare not speak its name. 181 00:13:43,212 --> 00:13:45,213 To my right is my lover. 182 00:13:45,380 --> 00:13:47,507 We met at the LPGA tour. 183 00:13:47,674 --> 00:13:50,551 Her name is Unibrau. 184 00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:52,220 Right on. 185 00:13:53,722 --> 00:13:55,556 Welcome, Unibrau. 186 00:13:57,935 --> 00:13:58,935 Doctor, you... 187 00:13:59,102 --> 00:14:00,937 - What? - You have a little... 188 00:14:01,104 --> 00:14:03,022 ...milk nose mustache. 189 00:14:05,150 --> 00:14:07,276 I know. I know, I know. 190 00:14:07,861 --> 00:14:11,280 Meant to. It's how we drink it in Belgium. 191 00:14:11,448 --> 00:14:12,740 It's called a Belgian Dip. 192 00:14:12,908 --> 00:14:16,119 Dr. Evil, while you were frozen... 193 00:14:16,287 --> 00:14:19,790 ...we began a program to clone you. 194 00:14:19,958 --> 00:14:23,126 - Cool. - Send in the clone! 195 00:14:23,461 --> 00:14:26,797 He is exactly like you in every way... 196 00:14:30,802 --> 00:14:33,262 ...except one-eighth your size. 197 00:14:34,847 --> 00:14:36,098 Breathtaking. 198 00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:38,559 I shall call him... 199 00:14:39,394 --> 00:14:41,061 ...Mini-Me. 200 00:14:46,150 --> 00:14:47,943 Your stock is rising, Number Two. 201 00:14:51,406 --> 00:14:52,823 Come, Mr. Bigglesworth. 202 00:14:55,493 --> 00:14:57,828 Mini-Me, are you hungry? 203 00:14:58,246 --> 00:14:59,454 Something to eat? 204 00:14:59,622 --> 00:15:00,747 Not even a Hot Pocket? 205 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:03,500 An Eggo? 206 00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:07,129 No. No, we don't gnaw on our kitty. 207 00:15:07,297 --> 00:15:08,630 Leave... No. 208 00:15:08,798 --> 00:15:10,757 Leave Mini-Mr. Bigglesworth alone. 209 00:15:10,925 --> 00:15:13,553 Just love him and stroke him. 210 00:15:14,930 --> 00:15:19,058 As you know, every diabolical scheme that I've hatched... 211 00:15:19,226 --> 00:15:22,186 ...has been thwarted by Austin Powers. 212 00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:24,522 And why is that, ladies and gentlemen? 213 00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:27,692 You never kill him when you get the chance, and you're a dope? 214 00:15:29,111 --> 00:15:30,445 No, no, no. 215 00:15:30,613 --> 00:15:32,405 No, no. 216 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,452 Down. Down, Mini-Me. 217 00:15:37,620 --> 00:15:43,166 No. Austin Powers always defeats me because he has mojo. 218 00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:44,542 Mojo? 219 00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,419 Mojo. 220 00:15:46,587 --> 00:15:50,548 The libido, the life force, the essence, the right stuff. 221 00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:53,551 What the French call a certain... 222 00:15:53,719 --> 00:15:55,470 ...I don't know what. 223 00:15:55,888 --> 00:15:57,555 Ladies and gentlemen... 224 00:15:57,723 --> 00:16:01,351 ...I've developed a device for traveling through time which I call... 225 00:16:01,518 --> 00:16:03,561 ...a "time machine." 226 00:16:03,729 --> 00:16:06,731 Using this "time machine"... 227 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:11,153 ...I'm going to go back to the '60s and steal Austin Powers' mojo. 228 00:16:11,321 --> 00:16:12,738 If you have a time machine... 229 00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:17,284 ...why not just go back and kill Austin when he's sitting on the crapper? 230 00:16:17,452 --> 00:16:21,372 How about no, Scott, okay? 231 00:16:22,123 --> 00:16:26,210 Why not use your knowledge of the future to play the stock market? 232 00:16:26,378 --> 00:16:28,087 We could make trillions. 233 00:16:28,588 --> 00:16:31,757 Why make trillions when we could make... 234 00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,343 ...billions? 235 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:38,263 A trillion is more than a billion, numbnuts. 236 00:16:38,848 --> 00:16:40,099 All right, zip it. 237 00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:41,934 - You can't even... - Zip it! 238 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,560 Zip. 239 00:16:43,728 --> 00:16:46,730 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, ex-"zip it" A. 240 00:16:47,148 --> 00:16:50,776 - Number Two, would you please...? - Look, I'm Zippy Longstocking. 241 00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:54,196 When a problem comes along You must zip it 242 00:16:55,699 --> 00:16:57,199 Zip it good 243 00:16:57,367 --> 00:16:58,367 Frau, would you...? 244 00:17:00,954 --> 00:17:02,913 Subtitle: Zip it. 245 00:17:03,081 --> 00:17:04,206 - I'm just trying... - Zip! 246 00:17:04,374 --> 00:17:06,793 Would you like to have a suckle of my zipple? 247 00:17:06,961 --> 00:17:08,753 - I want you... Stop... - Zip! Eh. 248 00:17:08,921 --> 00:17:10,004 - Zip it! Zip it! This... 249 00:17:11,382 --> 00:17:12,590 You know... 250 00:17:12,758 --> 00:17:13,800 You're like a child. 251 00:17:14,468 --> 00:17:17,554 Talking... If you... Just... One time... 252 00:17:18,139 --> 00:17:20,390 Zip it. Unveil the time portal. 253 00:17:31,444 --> 00:17:32,986 As you know... 254 00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:35,822 ...Austin Powers was frozen in 1967. 255 00:17:37,158 --> 00:17:40,243 Therefore, I will travel to 1969... 256 00:17:40,411 --> 00:17:42,954 ...two years after he was frozen. 257 00:17:43,122 --> 00:17:44,748 He'll be helpless. 258 00:17:44,915 --> 00:17:49,461 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm about to travel through time. I bid you adieu. 259 00:17:56,510 --> 00:17:58,511 I'm okay. I'm okay. 260 00:17:59,847 --> 00:18:02,349 Not turned on, I suppose. Yeah. 261 00:18:02,517 --> 00:18:04,351 Do you think you could...? 262 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:06,937 Yeah, thanks. 263 00:18:07,105 --> 00:18:09,190 Come, Mini-Me! 264 00:18:13,028 --> 00:18:15,529 Don't be scared, Mini-Me. 265 00:18:26,374 --> 00:18:30,461 Dr. Evil. Welcome to 1969. 266 00:18:30,629 --> 00:18:32,755 Thank you, Number Two. 267 00:18:32,923 --> 00:18:35,758 You look so healthy and youthful. 268 00:18:35,926 --> 00:18:37,092 Well, thank you. 269 00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:41,680 Heil, doctor. - And Frau, you look so... 270 00:18:44,768 --> 00:18:46,852 Right. 271 00:18:47,729 --> 00:18:50,564 You know, Dr. Evil, I received your memo from the future. 272 00:18:50,732 --> 00:18:52,733 Your new lair is up and running. 273 00:18:52,901 --> 00:18:55,736 Is it a hollowed-out volcano, like I asked for? 274 00:18:56,863 --> 00:18:58,907 Of course. 275 00:18:59,742 --> 00:19:01,284 Good. 276 00:19:01,452 --> 00:19:04,412 Then it's all going perfectly to plan. 277 00:19:32,358 --> 00:19:34,526 Yeah, baby, yeah! 278 00:19:40,324 --> 00:19:41,992 When did you get the clapper? 279 00:19:42,159 --> 00:19:46,371 November, 1964. Dutch East Indies, shore leave. 280 00:19:46,789 --> 00:19:49,374 Do you know how we keep warm in Russia? 281 00:19:50,793 --> 00:19:52,627 I can guess, baby. 282 00:19:52,795 --> 00:19:53,920 We play chess. 283 00:19:54,463 --> 00:19:56,132 I guessed wrong. 284 00:19:56,300 --> 00:20:00,553 It takes a keen intellect to play chess, Mr. Powers. 285 00:20:01,930 --> 00:20:04,891 I assume you know how to play. 286 00:20:06,977 --> 00:20:08,060 Of course, baby. 287 00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:31,167 What to do, what to do. 288 00:21:01,699 --> 00:21:04,368 Let me ask you a question. 289 00:21:04,535 --> 00:21:06,703 And be honest. 290 00:21:06,871 --> 00:21:09,164 Do I make you horny, baby? 291 00:21:09,332 --> 00:21:10,374 Do I? 292 00:21:10,541 --> 00:21:12,793 Do I make you randy? 293 00:21:12,961 --> 00:21:14,169 Yeah? 294 00:21:16,214 --> 00:21:18,048 No more games. 295 00:21:18,216 --> 00:21:21,343 Dr. Evil sent me here to kill you... 296 00:21:21,511 --> 00:21:23,220 ...but I find you so... 297 00:21:24,389 --> 00:21:26,682 - Sexy and... - Yes. Yes. 298 00:21:27,433 --> 00:21:29,184 Just make love to me. 299 00:21:29,352 --> 00:21:32,813 Now, Austin Powerovich. Hurry. 300 00:21:37,568 --> 00:21:39,820 You are hairy, like animal! 301 00:21:39,988 --> 00:21:42,739 Grr, baby. Very grr. 302 00:21:42,907 --> 00:21:45,367 Make love to me, monkey man. 303 00:21:46,703 --> 00:21:52,250 Dr. Evil, I don't understand how we can hope to steal Austin Powers' mojo. 304 00:21:52,418 --> 00:21:54,085 We've tried this before. 305 00:21:55,295 --> 00:21:57,839 The security around Powers is foolproof. 306 00:21:58,215 --> 00:22:02,593 Ah, but this time we have an operative inside the Ministry of Defense. 307 00:22:02,761 --> 00:22:03,845 Really? 308 00:22:04,930 --> 00:22:07,056 Yes, really. 309 00:22:08,517 --> 00:22:12,270 He's stealing Austin Powers' mojo even as we speak. 310 00:22:12,438 --> 00:22:13,604 Really? 311 00:22:15,733 --> 00:22:17,358 Really. 312 00:22:19,111 --> 00:22:20,903 He's a disgruntled Scottish guard... 313 00:22:21,071 --> 00:22:24,449 ...known for his lethal temper and his unusual eating habits. 314 00:22:24,616 --> 00:22:26,284 He weighs a metric ton. 315 00:22:26,452 --> 00:22:27,744 His name: 316 00:22:27,911 --> 00:22:30,121 Fat Bastard. 317 00:22:32,207 --> 00:22:36,127 We've had reports there's a spy in the Ministry of Defense. 318 00:22:36,295 --> 00:22:38,629 The contents of this room are vital to the country. 319 00:22:38,797 --> 00:22:41,215 Be on special alert. 320 00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:42,967 Yes, sir! 321 00:22:43,135 --> 00:22:46,638 And try to lose some weight, for God's sake. 322 00:22:47,098 --> 00:22:48,557 Yes, sir! 323 00:22:51,311 --> 00:22:54,480 Mr. English Colonel, telling me to lose weight. 324 00:22:55,148 --> 00:22:58,150 Oh, I'm a hard case, he says. 325 00:22:58,318 --> 00:23:02,988 Well, listen up, sonny Jim, I ate a baby! 326 00:23:03,156 --> 00:23:04,323 Oh, aye. 327 00:23:04,491 --> 00:23:07,493 Baby: The other Other White Meat. 328 00:23:07,660 --> 00:23:10,496 Baby: It's what's for dinner. 329 00:23:35,563 --> 00:23:38,982 Oh, I've got your mojo now, sonny Jim! 330 00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:44,864 - What's wrong? - Crikey! 331 00:23:45,032 --> 00:23:47,700 I've lost my mojo. 332 00:23:51,497 --> 00:23:55,166 Austin, the test results confirm that you've lost your mojo. 333 00:23:55,334 --> 00:23:57,669 And it couldn't come at a worse time. 334 00:23:57,837 --> 00:24:01,714 We have evidence that Dr. Evil has developed a time machine... 335 00:24:01,882 --> 00:24:04,843 ...and has traveled back to the year 1969. 336 00:24:05,344 --> 00:24:08,138 Luckily, we too have developed a time-travel device... 337 00:24:08,305 --> 00:24:11,516 ...to transport you back to the '60s. 338 00:24:12,977 --> 00:24:16,187 This is where you input your destination. 339 00:24:16,355 --> 00:24:19,858 Wait a tick. Basil, if I travel back to 1969... 340 00:24:20,025 --> 00:24:21,693 ...and I was frozen in 1967... 341 00:24:21,861 --> 00:24:24,195 ...presumably, I could go visit my frozen self. 342 00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:26,990 But if I'm still frozen in 1967... 343 00:24:27,158 --> 00:24:29,909 ...how could I have been unthawed in the '90s and traveled... 344 00:24:30,077 --> 00:24:32,036 Oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed. 345 00:24:32,204 --> 00:24:36,583 I suggest you don't worry about this sort of thing and just enjoy yourself. 346 00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:40,254 - That goes for you all too. - Yes. 347 00:24:40,422 --> 00:24:41,922 This is smashing, Basil. 348 00:24:42,090 --> 00:24:48,846 I'll go back to the '60s, recharge my mojo, defeat Dr. Evil and be back in time for tea. 349 00:24:49,014 --> 00:24:51,932 Swinging '60s, here I come, baby, yeah! 350 00:24:52,100 --> 00:24:53,559 Move! Move! 351 00:24:53,727 --> 00:24:55,311 Move! 352 00:24:57,105 --> 00:24:58,772 No, Austin, no! No! 353 00:24:59,149 --> 00:25:00,524 Sorry. 354 00:25:00,692 --> 00:25:03,152 - I bet that's expensive. Quite all right. 355 00:25:04,946 --> 00:25:07,114 Oh, sorry, here we go. Yes, yes. 356 00:25:07,282 --> 00:25:08,324 Almost. - Sorry! 357 00:25:08,491 --> 00:25:09,825 Easy, easy. 358 00:25:09,993 --> 00:25:11,660 God damn barrels, Austin. 359 00:25:11,828 --> 00:25:14,205 Yeah, see, here we go, here we go. All right. 360 00:25:14,372 --> 00:25:16,624 Yeah, baby, yeah! 361 00:25:17,959 --> 00:25:20,127 Godspeed, Austin Powers. 362 00:25:38,898 --> 00:25:40,941 I'm home. 363 00:25:50,826 --> 00:25:52,327 Austin Powers! 364 00:25:52,495 --> 00:25:55,205 - Austin Powers? - Yes. 365 00:25:56,249 --> 00:26:00,293 I'm back in the '60s, baby, yeah! 366 00:26:04,048 --> 00:26:05,590 Yeah, all right, there you are. 367 00:26:14,392 --> 00:26:16,101 Yeah! 368 00:26:18,854 --> 00:26:23,358 Hey, hey, hey. Get your hands off my heinie, baby. 369 00:26:43,297 --> 00:26:44,839 Who are you today, baby? 370 00:26:46,049 --> 00:26:48,384 My name is Robin Swallows. 371 00:26:48,552 --> 00:26:51,220 Swallows. That's an interesting name. 372 00:26:51,888 --> 00:26:53,973 Maiden name is Spitz. 373 00:26:54,141 --> 00:26:56,726 Well, which is it, baby? Spitz or Swallows? 374 00:27:45,610 --> 00:27:49,738 Those are skintight. How do you get into those pants, baby? 375 00:27:49,906 --> 00:27:52,032 You can start by buying me a drink. 376 00:28:03,294 --> 00:28:05,545 I want. I want. 377 00:28:24,482 --> 00:28:27,902 You better play it cool. Your friend works for Dr. Evil. 378 00:28:28,070 --> 00:28:31,823 And just who do you work for, baby? 379 00:28:34,785 --> 00:28:36,994 Tell me, Mr. Powers. 380 00:28:37,496 --> 00:28:38,746 Do you swing? 381 00:28:38,914 --> 00:28:40,665 Are you kidding, baby? 382 00:28:40,833 --> 00:28:44,377 I put the "grr" in "swinger," baby! 383 00:28:45,087 --> 00:28:47,839 Then why don't you come right... 384 00:28:48,006 --> 00:28:49,674 ...over... here. 385 00:28:49,842 --> 00:28:51,467 Okay, I could do that. 386 00:28:53,178 --> 00:28:54,554 Easy. 387 00:28:54,721 --> 00:28:55,763 Cheeky. 388 00:29:06,191 --> 00:29:08,609 Prepare to die, Powers! 389 00:29:10,487 --> 00:29:11,946 Use the machine gun! 390 00:29:21,875 --> 00:29:24,209 Say goodbye, Powers! 391 00:29:26,296 --> 00:29:28,672 Use the bazooka! 392 00:29:29,841 --> 00:29:33,302 No! 393 00:29:40,768 --> 00:29:44,688 The fall will kill us both, Powers! 394 00:29:53,781 --> 00:29:56,200 You can't win, Powers. 395 00:29:58,328 --> 00:30:00,621 Why won't you die? 396 00:30:06,044 --> 00:30:07,085 Care for a ride? 397 00:30:11,466 --> 00:30:14,092 Go! Go! Go! 398 00:30:14,260 --> 00:30:16,136 Go! 399 00:30:19,391 --> 00:30:21,267 Austin Powers, I presume. 400 00:30:21,435 --> 00:30:22,977 Powers by name... 401 00:30:23,145 --> 00:30:26,189 ...Powers by reputation. 402 00:30:26,357 --> 00:30:28,399 Felicity Shagwell, CIA. 403 00:30:28,567 --> 00:30:32,445 Shagwell by name, Shag-very-well by reputation. 404 00:30:32,613 --> 00:30:34,155 Oh, behave. 405 00:30:35,366 --> 00:30:37,867 Not if I can help it. 406 00:30:40,329 --> 00:30:43,665 Yes. Ooh. 407 00:30:50,214 --> 00:30:51,548 You know what's remarkable... 408 00:30:51,715 --> 00:30:56,302 ...is how much England looks in no way like southern California. 409 00:31:13,195 --> 00:31:14,279 Crikey! 410 00:31:14,446 --> 00:31:17,324 We've got company. It looks like one of Dr. Evil's assassins. 411 00:31:40,515 --> 00:31:42,182 Steady now. Steady. 412 00:31:42,350 --> 00:31:44,101 Hands up. 413 00:31:45,061 --> 00:31:47,605 Do you remember me, Austin Powers? 414 00:31:48,023 --> 00:31:54,194 I don't recall your name, but your fez is familiar. 415 00:31:57,699 --> 00:31:59,825 My name is Mustafa. 416 00:31:59,993 --> 00:32:02,828 And I'm the man who will be killing you now. 417 00:32:16,260 --> 00:32:17,344 Who sent you? 418 00:32:17,511 --> 00:32:18,637 You'll have to kill me. 419 00:32:18,804 --> 00:32:20,138 Who sent you? 420 00:32:20,306 --> 00:32:22,057 Kiss my ass, Powers. 421 00:32:22,224 --> 00:32:23,558 Who sent you? 422 00:32:23,893 --> 00:32:25,727 Dr. Evil. 423 00:32:27,063 --> 00:32:29,397 - That was easy. - That was easy. 424 00:32:29,565 --> 00:32:31,066 Why did you tell us? 425 00:32:31,233 --> 00:32:33,777 I can't stand to be asked the same question three times. 426 00:32:33,944 --> 00:32:35,320 It just irritates me. 427 00:32:35,488 --> 00:32:37,405 Where is Dr. Evil hiding? 428 00:32:37,573 --> 00:32:40,617 Why would he tell me? I'm just one of his low-level functionaries. 429 00:32:40,785 --> 00:32:44,412 - Where is Dr. Evil hiding? - You'll have to torture me. I'll never tell. 430 00:32:44,580 --> 00:32:48,041 - Where's Dr. Evil hiding? - Damn. Three times. 431 00:32:48,376 --> 00:32:51,211 He's hiding in the secret volcano lair. 432 00:32:51,379 --> 00:32:54,547 Where's Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair? 433 00:32:55,591 --> 00:32:57,258 I spit at that question! 434 00:32:57,426 --> 00:33:00,095 Do I really have to ask you two more times? 435 00:33:00,262 --> 00:33:01,721 Go to hell, Powers. 436 00:33:02,348 --> 00:33:03,723 Fine. 437 00:33:03,891 --> 00:33:08,938 Where is Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair? 438 00:33:09,106 --> 00:33:11,941 I will take it to the grave with me! 439 00:33:12,109 --> 00:33:14,026 You have to answer. He asked three times. 440 00:33:14,194 --> 00:33:16,112 No, no, no. 441 00:33:16,738 --> 00:33:20,116 The second question was, "Do I really have to ask you two more times?" 442 00:33:20,534 --> 00:33:23,452 That would be the first question in a new line of questioning... 443 00:33:23,620 --> 00:33:26,205 ...and wouldn't count in the other line of questioning. 444 00:33:26,373 --> 00:33:27,623 Yeah, he's right. 445 00:33:27,791 --> 00:33:29,959 I'm just trying to get information from you. 446 00:33:30,127 --> 00:33:33,421 I don't need any consistency in the questions, do I? 447 00:33:33,588 --> 00:33:36,549 No, no. You're preaching to the converted. I... Uh! 448 00:33:36,717 --> 00:33:38,676 Well, if I'm preaching to the converted... 449 00:33:38,844 --> 00:33:41,762 ...why are you being so slavish to the three-question form? 450 00:33:41,930 --> 00:33:44,974 You're not even looking at me, man. Now you're just being rude. 451 00:33:45,142 --> 00:33:46,809 You're not listening, man. 452 00:33:51,481 --> 00:33:53,315 Oh, crikey. 453 00:33:56,987 --> 00:34:00,322 Well, Austin, I think this time you may have finally met your match. 454 00:34:00,490 --> 00:34:01,907 Oh, no, baby. 455 00:34:02,075 --> 00:34:05,454 I've beaten Dr. Evil before, and I'll beat him again. 456 00:34:05,621 --> 00:34:07,581 I was talking about me. 457 00:34:13,713 --> 00:34:15,338 Yeah. 458 00:34:15,757 --> 00:34:19,301 Hello, up there. I seem to have fallen down a cliff. 459 00:34:19,469 --> 00:34:22,137 I'm still alive, but I'm very badly injured. 460 00:34:22,305 --> 00:34:25,223 I think my legs might be broken, but I'll try to stand up. 461 00:34:26,893 --> 00:34:28,393 Yes, they are broken. 462 00:34:28,561 --> 00:34:32,355 Perhaps you could toss me a Band-Aid or some antibacterial cream. 463 00:34:32,523 --> 00:34:36,276 I'm in an extraordinarily large amount of pain. 464 00:34:36,444 --> 00:34:41,031 The bone has gone through the skin. I fear it might be gangrenous. 465 00:34:41,199 --> 00:34:45,535 The wound is beginning to smell a little like almonds, which is not good. 466 00:34:45,703 --> 00:34:46,912 Please? 467 00:34:47,246 --> 00:34:48,455 No one? 468 00:34:48,623 --> 00:34:50,207 - Sorry. - I'll try the other leg. 469 00:34:57,507 --> 00:35:01,051 Two of my assassins are dead. I will not tolerate failure. 470 00:35:01,220 --> 00:35:05,890 I'm the man who will maintain the dignity of this evil organization. 471 00:35:06,058 --> 00:35:08,059 What the hell was that? 472 00:35:08,227 --> 00:35:10,019 Volcanic eruption! 473 00:35:19,196 --> 00:35:23,533 May I present to you my spy in the Ministry of Defense: 474 00:35:24,576 --> 00:35:26,828 Fat Bastard. 475 00:35:27,913 --> 00:35:31,040 First things first. Where's your shitter? 476 00:35:31,208 --> 00:35:34,585 I've got a turtle head poking out. 477 00:35:35,587 --> 00:35:36,754 Charming. 478 00:35:37,256 --> 00:35:38,714 I'm not kidding. 479 00:35:38,882 --> 00:35:42,969 I got a crap on deck that could choke a donkey. 480 00:35:43,595 --> 00:35:45,721 It's squidgey. 481 00:35:46,974 --> 00:35:50,226 Christ, I'm getting all emotional from it, you know? 482 00:35:51,270 --> 00:35:52,770 Right... 483 00:35:52,938 --> 00:35:56,607 Fat Bastard, could I have my mojo, please? 484 00:35:56,775 --> 00:35:58,610 Where's my money? 485 00:35:58,778 --> 00:36:01,071 All right, give him his money. 486 00:36:03,658 --> 00:36:06,785 Jesus Christ, he's tiny. 487 00:36:07,245 --> 00:36:10,873 I've had bigger chunks of corn in my crap. 488 00:36:12,250 --> 00:36:14,376 Wait a minute. 489 00:36:14,961 --> 00:36:17,588 He kind of looks like a baby. 490 00:36:17,755 --> 00:36:20,632 Come here, I'm gonna eat you! 491 00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:23,844 I'm bigger than you, I'm higher on the food chain. 492 00:36:24,012 --> 00:36:26,138 Get in my belly! 493 00:36:26,306 --> 00:36:28,265 Come on! 494 00:36:29,434 --> 00:36:31,143 You're lucky, wee man! 495 00:36:32,729 --> 00:36:34,354 Can I have a hug? 496 00:36:35,565 --> 00:36:36,815 Dr. Evil. 497 00:36:37,567 --> 00:36:39,943 Let me make you a deal, all right? 498 00:36:40,111 --> 00:36:42,654 You get the mojo, you keep your money... 499 00:36:42,822 --> 00:36:45,324 ...and I'll get your baby. 500 00:36:47,327 --> 00:36:50,078 Right... 501 00:36:50,330 --> 00:36:53,665 I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs 502 00:36:53,833 --> 00:36:57,629 I want my baby back, baby back, baby back ribs 503 00:36:57,796 --> 00:36:59,172 Excuse me. 504 00:36:59,340 --> 00:37:03,176 Chili, baby back ribs 505 00:37:03,344 --> 00:37:06,763 Dr. Evil, what are we going to do about Powers? 506 00:37:06,931 --> 00:37:10,767 Austin Powers is no longer a threat to me. 507 00:37:10,935 --> 00:37:13,603 I have his mojo. 508 00:37:50,057 --> 00:37:53,560 All right, everyone. You're dismissed. 509 00:37:54,062 --> 00:37:56,271 Private time. 510 00:38:27,887 --> 00:38:31,265 Dr. Evil, I don't want this to interfere with our work. 511 00:38:31,433 --> 00:38:33,600 Don't worry, mama. 512 00:38:33,768 --> 00:38:36,186 Things won't get weird. 513 00:38:44,446 --> 00:38:46,447 One for me. 514 00:38:48,617 --> 00:38:50,869 And one for my homeys. 515 00:38:52,955 --> 00:38:54,289 Herr Doctor. 516 00:39:24,153 --> 00:39:25,612 Hello. 517 00:39:25,780 --> 00:39:27,530 So, what happened here? 518 00:39:27,698 --> 00:39:29,824 Apparently a rogue agent named Fat Bastard... 519 00:39:29,992 --> 00:39:32,577 ...infiltrated the unit assigned to guard your chamber. 520 00:39:32,745 --> 00:39:36,414 He used some sort of nerve gas. These men don't remember a thing. 521 00:39:36,582 --> 00:39:41,002 Captain, crosscheck Fat Bastard's profile with the mainframe at Langley. 522 00:39:41,170 --> 00:39:43,296 - Yes, ma'am. Can I borrow that, please? 523 00:39:43,464 --> 00:39:45,841 Thank you. Yes, Austin, yes, yes. 524 00:39:46,009 --> 00:39:49,178 Look at me. I'm a sexy bitch, baby, yeah. 525 00:39:49,346 --> 00:39:50,846 You're a popsicle, yes. 526 00:39:51,223 --> 00:39:53,516 Yes. No! No! 527 00:39:53,683 --> 00:39:55,518 And I'm spent. 528 00:39:55,685 --> 00:39:58,020 Let's go, baby. Yeah! 529 00:40:02,651 --> 00:40:03,943 Hey there. How are you? 530 00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:19,041 Come on, Felicity, come on. 531 00:40:49,031 --> 00:40:50,740 Yeah, babe! 532 00:40:52,869 --> 00:40:55,245 - Shall we sit down? Yeah. - Yeah. 533 00:40:55,413 --> 00:40:58,707 This is great. - Groovy. 534 00:40:59,917 --> 00:41:02,711 So, Austin, what's the future like? 535 00:41:02,879 --> 00:41:05,797 Well, everyone has a flying car... 536 00:41:05,965 --> 00:41:08,341 ...entire meals come in pill form... 537 00:41:08,509 --> 00:41:12,262 ...and the Earth is ruled by damned dirty apes! 538 00:41:12,722 --> 00:41:13,763 Oh, my God. 539 00:41:14,307 --> 00:41:15,765 Had you for a second. 540 00:41:17,435 --> 00:41:19,603 You can have me for even longer, if you want. 541 00:41:20,521 --> 00:41:23,773 You're one groovy baby... 542 00:41:25,276 --> 00:41:26,401 ...baby. 543 00:41:28,112 --> 00:41:30,488 Too many "babys." 544 00:41:31,324 --> 00:41:34,284 Don't you dare move. 545 00:41:36,871 --> 00:41:42,210 Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Burt Bacharach and Mr. Elvis Costello. 546 00:41:45,923 --> 00:41:49,133 What do you get when you fall in love? 547 00:41:49,801 --> 00:41:52,094 A guy with a pin to burst your bubble 548 00:41:52,262 --> 00:41:54,138 - Would you care to dance? - I'd love to. 549 00:41:54,306 --> 00:41:57,099 That's what you get for all your trouble 550 00:41:57,267 --> 00:42:08,653 I'll never fall in love again 551 00:42:10,322 --> 00:42:15,159 Don't tell me what it's all about 552 00:42:15,327 --> 00:42:19,247 Because I've been there And I'm glad I'm out 553 00:42:19,414 --> 00:42:23,042 Out of those chains Those chains that bind you 554 00:42:23,210 --> 00:42:27,088 That is why I'm here to remind you 555 00:42:27,256 --> 00:42:30,591 What do you get when you fall in love 556 00:42:30,759 --> 00:42:34,513 You only get lies and pain and sorrow 557 00:42:34,681 --> 00:42:38,308 So for at least until tomorrow 558 00:42:38,476 --> 00:42:52,572 I'll never fall in love again 559 00:42:52,740 --> 00:42:54,658 You're quite good on your feet. 560 00:42:54,826 --> 00:42:57,202 I'm even better off my feet. 561 00:43:10,341 --> 00:43:12,342 Oh, behave, baby. 562 00:43:18,933 --> 00:43:19,975 - Hi. - Hi. 563 00:43:20,143 --> 00:43:21,893 Hi there. 564 00:43:23,438 --> 00:43:26,231 - How are things? - Good, Herr Doctor. And you? 565 00:43:26,399 --> 00:43:29,192 Great. 566 00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:31,404 Just taking a break? 567 00:43:32,489 --> 00:43:35,825 Try the Hot Pockets. They're breathtaking. 568 00:43:39,079 --> 00:43:40,955 - It got weird, didn't it? - Yeah. 569 00:43:41,123 --> 00:43:42,665 I knew it. 570 00:43:43,208 --> 00:43:44,834 You haven't called. 571 00:43:45,002 --> 00:43:46,252 Look, we talked about this. 572 00:43:46,420 --> 00:43:49,172 We promised each other it wouldn't get weird. 573 00:43:49,340 --> 00:43:52,675 I can't let my feelings for you interfere with my taking over the world. 574 00:43:52,843 --> 00:43:54,260 You know that. 575 00:43:54,428 --> 00:43:57,764 You know, I will never love another man. 576 00:43:59,767 --> 00:44:01,184 Yes, that's true. 577 00:44:01,727 --> 00:44:03,227 Yeah. 578 00:44:04,772 --> 00:44:07,190 Dr. Evil, I'm late. 579 00:44:07,358 --> 00:44:09,734 - No, you got here right on time. - No. 580 00:44:09,902 --> 00:44:13,696 I mean I'm late. 581 00:44:20,746 --> 00:44:22,288 Dad. 582 00:44:22,915 --> 00:44:24,374 Scott. 583 00:44:25,084 --> 00:44:26,459 Hey there, sport. 584 00:44:27,336 --> 00:44:28,670 What are you doing here? 585 00:44:28,838 --> 00:44:32,508 I was just thinking that maybe we can work all this out. 586 00:44:32,675 --> 00:44:35,302 After all, you are my father. 587 00:44:35,470 --> 00:44:39,598 Scott, you had your chance, okay? 588 00:44:39,766 --> 00:44:42,101 I already had someone created in my image. 589 00:44:42,268 --> 00:44:44,311 He's evil, he wants to take over the world... 590 00:44:44,479 --> 00:44:47,898 ...and he fits easily into most overhead storage bins. 591 00:44:48,608 --> 00:44:49,650 Him? Yes. 592 00:44:49,818 --> 00:44:51,693 Look at him. He's crazy. 593 00:44:51,861 --> 00:44:54,655 He's like a vicious little Chihuahua thing. 594 00:44:56,449 --> 00:44:58,283 He'll kill me the first chance he gets. 595 00:44:58,451 --> 00:44:59,785 Probably. 596 00:45:00,995 --> 00:45:03,831 I love you. 597 00:45:12,340 --> 00:45:16,093 I am a sexy bitch, yes. 598 00:45:16,261 --> 00:45:19,680 Felicity, make yourself at home, baby. 599 00:45:19,848 --> 00:45:21,974 What do you think of my shag pad, darling? 600 00:45:22,142 --> 00:45:24,436 It's amazing, Austin. 601 00:45:28,482 --> 00:45:30,275 Wait a tick. 602 00:45:35,948 --> 00:45:38,908 That's how my mojo was stolen. Fat Bastard. 603 00:45:41,370 --> 00:45:45,832 She's a professional agent. She's not interested in shagging. 604 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:49,544 Please, God. Spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch. 605 00:45:49,712 --> 00:45:52,547 Austin, I'm waiting. 606 00:45:58,762 --> 00:46:02,015 How about one of your world-famous massages? 607 00:46:02,850 --> 00:46:06,394 You mean a sensual massage? 608 00:46:06,896 --> 00:46:10,732 Right, then. Okay... 609 00:46:11,108 --> 00:46:12,817 Here we go. Yes. 610 00:46:12,985 --> 00:46:14,903 Yes. 611 00:46:18,324 --> 00:46:21,410 Oh, wait a minute. Something's itching me. 612 00:46:22,579 --> 00:46:24,079 That's better. 613 00:46:24,247 --> 00:46:25,873 Crikey! 614 00:46:34,090 --> 00:46:36,175 How does that feel, baby? 615 00:46:36,343 --> 00:46:37,843 Lower. 616 00:46:38,220 --> 00:46:40,971 How does that feel, baby? 617 00:46:42,182 --> 00:46:43,265 What? 618 00:46:43,433 --> 00:46:46,101 You don't have to be cute with me. We're way past that. 619 00:46:47,020 --> 00:46:48,062 We are? 620 00:46:48,647 --> 00:46:50,356 What do you think? 621 00:46:51,733 --> 00:46:53,609 Listen, Felicity... 622 00:46:55,070 --> 00:46:56,529 ...I'm sorry. 623 00:46:57,447 --> 00:46:59,114 I can't do this. 624 00:47:00,617 --> 00:47:01,909 I have to go. 625 00:47:06,122 --> 00:47:07,248 Is it me? 626 00:47:09,334 --> 00:47:11,293 I can't explain. 627 00:47:22,765 --> 00:47:25,475 Hello, Agent Shagwell. Where's Austin? 628 00:47:25,643 --> 00:47:28,728 I must've said something wrong, so he just left all of a sudden. 629 00:47:29,313 --> 00:47:33,733 Listen, Felicity. I don't want you getting too close to Austin. 630 00:47:33,901 --> 00:47:36,111 It's not meant to be. 631 00:47:36,279 --> 00:47:38,196 I don't get too close to anybody, Basil. 632 00:47:38,364 --> 00:47:41,616 - My interest is purely professional. - Good. 633 00:47:41,784 --> 00:47:44,494 Then you won't mind tracking down Fat Bastard tonight. 634 00:47:44,662 --> 00:47:45,662 No problem. 635 00:47:45,830 --> 00:47:50,375 We need you to plant this homing device on him by any means necessary. 636 00:47:50,543 --> 00:47:51,668 No problem. 637 00:47:52,003 --> 00:47:53,795 Keep up the good work. 638 00:47:53,963 --> 00:47:57,674 Remember, by any means necessary. 639 00:48:15,152 --> 00:48:16,694 Look at yourself. 640 00:48:17,404 --> 00:48:20,197 You used to be so virile. 641 00:48:21,199 --> 00:48:23,492 You were a swinger, man. 642 00:48:24,244 --> 00:48:26,621 And now you're nothing. 643 00:48:28,290 --> 00:48:31,208 But at least it can't get any worse. 644 00:48:31,627 --> 00:48:34,211 Well, surprise, surprise, huh? 645 00:48:34,379 --> 00:48:36,672 Look at that meal. 646 00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:38,591 I'm dead sexy. 647 00:48:38,759 --> 00:48:41,385 Look at my sexy body. 648 00:48:41,553 --> 00:48:42,720 Oh, yeah. 649 00:48:42,888 --> 00:48:45,181 Oh, look, I'm like a singer. 650 00:48:45,349 --> 00:48:48,392 Sexy man, sexy man 651 00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:51,312 Eating like a sexy man can 652 00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:52,813 By the way... 653 00:48:52,981 --> 00:48:55,191 ...would you like some chicken? I've got more. 654 00:48:55,359 --> 00:48:56,734 No, thanks. 655 00:48:57,569 --> 00:49:00,613 Let's see, what have we got here? I'm done with that. 656 00:49:00,781 --> 00:49:02,406 All right. 657 00:49:03,283 --> 00:49:05,076 All right, then. 658 00:49:05,243 --> 00:49:06,744 I'll just put this down here. 659 00:49:11,709 --> 00:49:14,753 Remember, by any means necessary. 660 00:49:14,921 --> 00:49:16,588 Must've eaten them already. 661 00:49:19,759 --> 00:49:22,177 Frisky, are we? 662 00:49:23,221 --> 00:49:24,513 - Give it up! - Ah! 663 00:49:25,348 --> 00:49:30,102 Ladies and gentlemen, we're about to begin phase two of our evil project. 664 00:49:30,269 --> 00:49:32,938 Or is it phase...? I don't know phases. 665 00:49:33,106 --> 00:49:38,777 Anyways, this is the phase in which we put a giant "laser" on the moon. 666 00:49:38,945 --> 00:49:43,699 As you know, the moon rotates around the Earth, like so: 667 00:49:49,789 --> 00:49:53,625 When the moon reaches its appropriate lunar alignment... 668 00:49:53,793 --> 00:49:56,628 ...it will destroy Washington, D.C. 669 00:49:57,130 --> 00:50:01,550 You see, I've turned the moon into what I like to call... 670 00:50:01,718 --> 00:50:03,927 ...a "death star." 671 00:50:06,180 --> 00:50:08,433 - What? - Nothing, Darth. 672 00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:09,767 What did you call me? 673 00:50:09,935 --> 00:50:12,145 No, nothing. Rip-off! 674 00:50:13,647 --> 00:50:14,939 Bless you. 675 00:50:15,107 --> 00:50:17,900 Anyways, the key to this plan is the giant laser. 676 00:50:18,068 --> 00:50:21,904 It was invented by the noted Cambridge physicist Dr. Parsons. 677 00:50:22,072 --> 00:50:26,701 Therefore we shall call it "the Alan Parsons Project." 678 00:50:26,869 --> 00:50:29,162 Oh, my God. 679 00:50:29,663 --> 00:50:30,663 What now? 680 00:50:30,831 --> 00:50:35,001 The Alan Parsons Project is a progressive rock band in 1982. 681 00:50:35,169 --> 00:50:38,796 Why don't you just call it "Operation Wang Chung," ass. 682 00:50:39,173 --> 00:50:40,757 - Well, what should we...? Nothing. 683 00:50:40,924 --> 00:50:43,259 I'm sure "Operation Bananarama" will be huge. 684 00:50:43,427 --> 00:50:45,011 - What are you saying? - If you... 685 00:50:45,179 --> 00:50:46,929 - Shh! - Trying to be hip... 686 00:50:47,097 --> 00:50:49,182 Www. Ssh. Com. 687 00:50:49,349 --> 00:50:52,101 - Dot-org. - You're so... 688 00:50:52,269 --> 00:50:55,938 Dr. Evil, if we could put aside the family squabbling for a moment... 689 00:50:56,106 --> 00:50:59,025 ...I think we can get down to some serious business here. 690 00:50:59,193 --> 00:51:00,777 - Really? - Yeah. 691 00:51:00,944 --> 00:51:02,695 I don't like that insolent tone. 692 00:51:02,863 --> 00:51:04,364 I meant nothing by it. No, no. 693 00:51:04,532 --> 00:51:07,743 - You want to run things here? Is that it? - No, not at all. 694 00:51:07,911 --> 00:51:10,454 You wanna be daddy? Is that it, Number Two? 695 00:51:10,622 --> 00:51:12,206 You wanna wear the daddy pants? 696 00:51:12,373 --> 00:51:15,167 - Are you gonna cry? Are you gonna cry? - I don't think so. 697 00:51:15,335 --> 00:51:18,378 - You gonna cry? You gonna cry? - What are you...? 698 00:51:19,005 --> 00:51:20,714 Are you gonna squirt some? Are you gonna cry? 699 00:51:22,342 --> 00:51:25,052 Yeah, see? You're gonna cry, huh? You're a big man now, huh? Yeah. 700 00:51:25,220 --> 00:51:27,054 Thought so. 701 00:51:48,243 --> 00:51:49,618 Felicity. 702 00:51:49,786 --> 00:51:50,828 Austin. 703 00:51:50,995 --> 00:51:53,247 About what happened last night... 704 00:51:53,414 --> 00:51:56,166 - That's okay. You don't have to explain. - No, no, no. 705 00:51:56,334 --> 00:51:58,335 You don't understand. You see... 706 00:52:00,464 --> 00:52:02,715 ...I've lost my mojo. 707 00:52:04,426 --> 00:52:06,928 - So that's why you...? - Yes, yes. 708 00:52:09,056 --> 00:52:10,765 I thought you didn't like me. 709 00:52:10,933 --> 00:52:14,018 Oh, no, baby. You're very shagadelic. 710 00:52:14,186 --> 00:52:16,104 I just didn't wanna fall in love again... 711 00:52:16,272 --> 00:52:19,274 ...and I thought you'd never love me without my mojo. 712 00:52:19,441 --> 00:52:21,442 It's not you. You're fab. 713 00:52:21,610 --> 00:52:25,738 You're switched on. You're a bit of all right, yes. 714 00:52:26,448 --> 00:52:30,285 That is so great. There's something I should tell you too. 715 00:52:30,452 --> 00:52:33,413 Last night, I planted a homing device on Fat Bastard. 716 00:52:33,581 --> 00:52:37,208 Smashing, baby. Then we can track down Fat Bastard, get my mojo... 717 00:52:37,376 --> 00:52:41,796 ...go back to my place, hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. 718 00:52:41,964 --> 00:52:45,508 But there's more. In order to get close to Fat Bastard, I had to... 719 00:52:45,676 --> 00:52:49,637 Oh! Hello, hello. The signal's coming through. He's at Paddington Station. 720 00:52:49,805 --> 00:52:51,639 Let's go! 721 00:52:53,767 --> 00:52:55,101 We're close, baby. 722 00:52:55,269 --> 00:52:58,981 This way. Straight. No, no, left. Through here. 723 00:53:01,860 --> 00:53:04,612 We've got him. Private, bring up the ram. 724 00:53:09,701 --> 00:53:11,285 Go, go, go! 725 00:53:11,453 --> 00:53:13,078 Where is he? 726 00:53:13,955 --> 00:53:15,664 Oh, my God! 727 00:53:15,832 --> 00:53:18,667 Fat Bastard left a floater! 728 00:53:18,835 --> 00:53:24,006 In the name of all things sacred, that is the most foul-smelling thing ever! 729 00:53:24,174 --> 00:53:25,841 Somebody flush it down. 730 00:53:26,009 --> 00:53:27,426 No, no. Nobody touch anything. 731 00:53:27,594 --> 00:53:30,387 We have to get this sample to the lab to be analyzed. 732 00:53:31,973 --> 00:53:33,891 I'm gonna get it. 733 00:53:41,983 --> 00:53:45,444 Austin, there you are. Has the sample been analyzed? 734 00:53:45,612 --> 00:53:50,366 Cor, baby. You look very shagadelic, yeah. 735 00:53:50,533 --> 00:53:55,664 But do we really have to be here, Felicity? I mean, it's so boring. 736 00:53:55,831 --> 00:53:57,791 I don't believe in science. 737 00:53:57,959 --> 00:54:00,877 When it comes to the spy game... 738 00:54:01,045 --> 00:54:02,837 ...to me, it's all instinct. 739 00:54:07,802 --> 00:54:09,803 Hello, everybody. - Hello, Basil. 740 00:54:09,971 --> 00:54:11,888 The results are in. 741 00:54:12,056 --> 00:54:14,891 We've discovered trace elements of a rare vegetable... 742 00:54:15,059 --> 00:54:18,687 ...found only on one island, here, in the Caribbean. 743 00:54:18,854 --> 00:54:20,105 Whoop-dee-doo! 744 00:54:20,272 --> 00:54:22,899 What does it all mean, Basil? 745 00:54:23,067 --> 00:54:28,113 It means that this is the location of Dr. Evil's lair. 746 00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:30,156 Smashing, Basil. 747 00:54:30,324 --> 00:54:31,700 Cor. 748 00:54:31,867 --> 00:54:34,577 This coffee smells like shit. 749 00:54:37,164 --> 00:54:39,374 It is shit, Austin. 750 00:54:40,084 --> 00:54:42,752 Oh, good, then it's not just me. 751 00:54:47,258 --> 00:54:48,675 It's a bit nutty. 752 00:54:59,271 --> 00:55:00,855 Excuse me, Dr. Evil. 753 00:55:01,023 --> 00:55:04,025 I have to speak to you about this Mini-Me. 754 00:55:04,192 --> 00:55:05,443 He's not fitting in? 755 00:55:05,610 --> 00:55:08,779 Is he giving off too much of a creepy Oompa-Loompa vibe? 756 00:55:08,947 --> 00:55:10,531 No, it's just that... 757 00:55:10,699 --> 00:55:12,241 ...he bites. 758 00:55:14,578 --> 00:55:16,287 He's a biter. 759 00:55:19,249 --> 00:55:21,167 What's wrong, Mini-Me? 760 00:55:21,334 --> 00:55:23,461 Something you wanna tell us? 761 00:55:25,005 --> 00:55:27,798 Teething. Yeah. 762 00:55:28,216 --> 00:55:31,719 Get me the president of the United States of America! 763 00:55:32,763 --> 00:55:36,098 He's on, he's on. - What do you want, Dr. Evil? 764 00:55:36,266 --> 00:55:38,267 Mr. President, in 12 hours... 765 00:55:38,477 --> 00:55:42,730 ...I will destroy Washington, D.C. With this giant "laser." 766 00:55:44,149 --> 00:55:46,484 What the...? Jesus. 767 00:55:47,528 --> 00:55:48,862 Mini-Me. 768 00:55:49,030 --> 00:55:51,156 Stop humping the laser. 769 00:55:51,324 --> 00:55:52,991 Okay. Honest to God. 770 00:55:53,159 --> 00:55:57,829 Why don't you and the giant "laser" get a fricking room, for God sakes? 771 00:55:58,539 --> 00:55:59,664 Mr. President. 772 00:55:59,832 --> 00:56:02,042 After I destroy Washington, D. C... 773 00:56:02,210 --> 00:56:05,796 ...I will destroy another major city every hour, on the hour. 774 00:56:05,963 --> 00:56:08,173 That is, unless, of course, you pay me... 775 00:56:09,550 --> 00:56:13,637 ...one hundred billion dollars. 776 00:56:18,226 --> 00:56:21,103 Doctor Evil, this is 1969. 777 00:56:21,270 --> 00:56:24,022 That amount of money doesn't even exist. 778 00:56:25,691 --> 00:56:29,903 That's like saying, "I want a kajillion-bajillion dollars." 779 00:56:31,114 --> 00:56:33,073 Come on, Mr. President... 780 00:56:33,241 --> 00:56:35,367 ...show me the money. 781 00:56:35,535 --> 00:56:36,785 Show you what money? 782 00:56:36,953 --> 00:56:39,704 "Show me the money! Show me the money!" 783 00:56:39,872 --> 00:56:43,166 "You had me at 'hello."' Tear. Nothing? No? 784 00:56:43,334 --> 00:56:46,254 Psst. It's 1969. 785 00:56:46,421 --> 00:56:49,382 Jerry Maguire won't even come out for another 30 years. 786 00:56:49,675 --> 00:56:52,635 Nobody knows what you're talking about, ass. 787 00:56:53,220 --> 00:56:56,848 Scott, Daddy's working. Okay? 788 00:56:57,015 --> 00:57:00,643 And when you're in the main chamber, try and use the big-boy voice, okay? 789 00:57:01,353 --> 00:57:03,062 Thank you. 790 00:57:03,564 --> 00:57:05,982 Mr. President, allow me to demonstrate... 791 00:57:06,150 --> 00:57:09,569 ...the awesome lethality of the Alan Parsons Project. 792 00:57:09,736 --> 00:57:11,737 Fire the laser! 793 00:57:17,411 --> 00:57:19,579 Damage report! Damage report! 794 00:57:20,247 --> 00:57:23,416 It's okay. It's all right. Come on. 795 00:57:24,084 --> 00:57:27,253 Actually, that was just footage from the movie Independence Day... 796 00:57:27,421 --> 00:57:30,173 ...but the real laser would be a lot like that. Yeah. 797 00:57:30,340 --> 00:57:31,424 Scary. 798 00:57:33,343 --> 00:57:34,510 Now, Dr. Evil... 799 00:57:34,678 --> 00:57:38,097 Talk to the hand, because the face don't want to hear it anymore. 800 00:57:38,724 --> 00:57:40,767 What hand? Talk to your hand? 801 00:57:40,935 --> 00:57:43,854 You ain't all that and a bag of potato chips. 802 00:57:44,022 --> 00:57:45,439 What are you talking about? 803 00:57:45,607 --> 00:57:48,942 Don't go there, girlfriend. Mm-hm. 804 00:57:49,694 --> 00:57:51,403 Whose girlfriend? 805 00:57:51,571 --> 00:57:53,739 Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mofo. 806 00:57:53,907 --> 00:57:57,576 I had to pop a cop because he wasn't giving me my props in Oaktown. 807 00:57:57,744 --> 00:58:00,204 No? I heard that somewhere. 808 00:58:02,040 --> 00:58:03,290 You're an idiot. 809 00:58:04,459 --> 00:58:08,170 Mr. President, I think we have an understanding. 810 00:58:08,338 --> 00:58:09,463 Bye-bye. 811 00:58:09,923 --> 00:58:13,550 Dr. Evil, what are our plans regarding Austin Powers? 812 00:58:13,718 --> 00:58:18,096 Austin Powers? He's the snake to my mongoose. 813 00:58:18,264 --> 00:58:20,933 Or the mongoose to my snake. 814 00:58:21,100 --> 00:58:24,811 Either way, it's bad. I don't know animals. 815 00:58:24,979 --> 00:58:27,231 But I do know this: 816 00:58:27,398 --> 00:58:29,900 This time, it's personal. 817 00:58:30,652 --> 00:58:32,444 Kill him. 818 00:58:37,868 --> 00:58:39,994 There's Dr. Evil's island. 819 00:59:14,363 --> 00:59:15,363 Let's set up camp. 820 00:59:15,531 --> 00:59:19,117 Be careful with that bag. There's explosives in it. 821 00:59:19,952 --> 00:59:22,620 This could be dangerous. 822 00:59:32,339 --> 00:59:36,218 What if God was one of us 823 00:59:36,845 --> 00:59:41,056 Just a slob like one of us 824 00:59:54,571 --> 00:59:56,113 Well done. Very good. 825 00:59:56,281 --> 00:59:58,907 Dr. Evil. That was fantastic. 826 00:59:59,075 --> 01:00:00,743 Thank you, Number Two. 827 01:00:00,910 --> 01:00:02,244 I wrote that. Yeah. 828 01:00:02,412 --> 01:00:05,414 Dad, he put this in my bed. 829 01:00:05,582 --> 01:00:08,292 - Who? - Your stupid Mini-You. 830 01:00:08,460 --> 01:00:11,253 He put roadkill in my sheets! 831 01:00:11,671 --> 01:00:13,255 What...? Mini-Me. 832 01:00:13,423 --> 01:00:16,091 Don't you ever do that again! You hear me? 833 01:00:16,259 --> 01:00:18,594 Don't you ever do that again! 834 01:00:19,220 --> 01:00:20,846 I can't stay mad at you. 835 01:00:21,014 --> 01:00:23,307 Look at that ponem. 836 01:00:24,309 --> 01:00:28,103 Dr. Evil's headquarters is right over that next ridge. 837 01:00:28,271 --> 01:00:30,190 - Let me look. - Yeah... 838 01:00:30,649 --> 01:00:32,567 Damn it. How do we get in? 839 01:00:32,735 --> 01:00:33,777 Hello, Mommy. 840 01:00:33,944 --> 01:00:37,113 Mommy, can I have some chocolates? I want some Mars Bars. 841 01:00:37,281 --> 01:00:40,033 - Austin. Austin! - Don't smack my bottom, Mommy! 842 01:00:41,410 --> 01:00:43,036 Sorry, love. 843 01:00:43,204 --> 01:00:46,039 I got stuck in your dirty pillows. 844 01:00:46,207 --> 01:00:48,083 Let's look at the map. 845 01:00:49,418 --> 01:00:50,710 Oh, great. 846 01:00:50,878 --> 01:00:54,506 What's our plan? According to this map... 847 01:00:54,673 --> 01:00:57,467 ...the entire island is crawling with Dr. Evil's guards. 848 01:00:57,635 --> 01:01:00,970 I wanna make sure the explosives didn't get wet, but I can't find them. 849 01:01:01,138 --> 01:01:03,098 Look in the bottom. 850 01:01:03,265 --> 01:01:05,892 Okay. I'll dig a little deeper. 851 01:01:06,060 --> 01:01:07,977 Wow, this bag is really full. 852 01:01:09,522 --> 01:01:11,272 Just keep digging, darling. 853 01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:13,817 I'll just feel around for them. 854 01:01:16,987 --> 01:01:20,115 Good Lord, Austin. What sort of things do you keep in here? 855 01:01:20,282 --> 01:01:23,660 Anything that catches my fancy. My God. 856 01:01:23,828 --> 01:01:24,828 Give it a good tug. 857 01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:28,499 Oh. Do we really need this? 858 01:01:28,667 --> 01:01:31,752 I'll ask you not to open that inside, thank you very much, okay? 859 01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:33,838 Oh, my God. 860 01:01:34,756 --> 01:01:36,841 Oops. It went off. - Yes. 861 01:01:37,008 --> 01:01:38,676 It does that from time to time. 862 01:01:38,844 --> 01:01:40,136 Ugh! Yuck. 863 01:01:40,303 --> 01:01:41,345 Yeah, that's nasty. 864 01:01:42,681 --> 01:01:44,682 Yeah, sorry about that. 865 01:01:45,517 --> 01:01:46,517 Smelly. 866 01:01:46,685 --> 01:01:49,061 These people make me sick. 867 01:01:49,229 --> 01:01:51,188 Can you snap me a beer? 868 01:01:54,693 --> 01:01:56,318 Ah! What is it? 869 01:01:56,486 --> 01:01:59,280 It's a gerbil. How did that get in your bag? 870 01:02:01,867 --> 01:02:04,034 I don't know. 871 01:02:06,288 --> 01:02:08,038 Dr. Evil. 872 01:02:08,748 --> 01:02:11,500 We have a problem. Austin Powers is on the island. 873 01:02:11,668 --> 01:02:13,419 Bring him to me... 874 01:02:13,837 --> 01:02:15,337 ...alive. 875 01:02:16,590 --> 01:02:17,631 You. 876 01:02:17,799 --> 01:02:21,844 Hit it! This is a very sensitive subject. 877 01:02:34,567 --> 01:02:36,234 Yeah. 878 01:02:38,654 --> 01:02:41,198 From the moment I heard Frau Say I had a clone 879 01:02:41,365 --> 01:02:43,783 I knew that I'd be safe 'Cause I'd never be alone 880 01:02:43,951 --> 01:02:46,495 An evil doctor shouldn't speak Aloud about his feelings 881 01:02:46,662 --> 01:02:48,830 My hurt and my pain Don't make me too appealing 882 01:02:48,998 --> 01:02:51,416 I'd hoped Scott would look up to me 883 01:02:51,584 --> 01:02:54,169 Run the business of the family 884 01:02:54,337 --> 01:02:56,546 Head an evil empire Just like his dear old dad 885 01:02:56,714 --> 01:02:58,924 Give him my love And the things I never had 886 01:02:59,091 --> 01:03:01,510 Scott would think I was a cool guy 887 01:03:01,677 --> 01:03:04,012 Return the love I have Make me want to cry 888 01:03:04,180 --> 01:03:06,890 Be evil but have my feelings too 889 01:03:07,058 --> 01:03:09,184 Change my life with Oprah And Maya Angelou 890 01:03:09,352 --> 01:03:11,978 But Scott rejected me C'est la vie 891 01:03:12,146 --> 01:03:14,231 Life is cruel Treat you unfairly 892 01:03:14,398 --> 01:03:16,775 Even so A God there must be 893 01:03:17,193 --> 01:03:19,236 Mini-Me, you complete me 894 01:03:22,783 --> 01:03:24,492 Yeah 895 01:03:26,203 --> 01:03:28,162 Just me and you 896 01:03:36,964 --> 01:03:38,256 You and I 897 01:03:50,769 --> 01:03:52,603 You've got this packed really tight. 898 01:03:53,689 --> 01:03:54,730 Are you okay? 899 01:03:54,898 --> 01:03:57,525 Yeah, I just got a bit of a back cramp, that's all. 900 01:03:58,527 --> 01:04:00,486 Just keep packing it in. 901 01:04:00,654 --> 01:04:02,280 God. 902 01:04:02,447 --> 01:04:05,241 I found the explosives. Help me check them. 903 01:04:05,409 --> 01:04:07,159 You're surrounded! Drop your weapons! 904 01:04:08,203 --> 01:04:09,245 Hands up! 905 01:04:10,872 --> 01:04:12,582 Move out! 906 01:04:15,877 --> 01:04:18,130 Ladies and gentlemen, in just a few moments... 907 01:04:18,298 --> 01:04:21,508 ...we're gonna place a giant "laser" on the moon. 908 01:04:21,676 --> 01:04:26,680 From my "death star," I will destroy every city on the planet. 909 01:04:26,848 --> 01:04:28,015 Get out of it! 910 01:04:29,601 --> 01:04:34,938 Mr. Powers, Ms. Shagwell, welcome to my hollowed-out volcano. 911 01:04:35,106 --> 01:04:37,399 This is my associate, Fat Bastard. 912 01:04:37,567 --> 01:04:43,196 Felicity, I think you two may have already "met." 913 01:04:43,364 --> 01:04:44,615 Unfortunately. 914 01:04:44,782 --> 01:04:48,619 Oh, is that all the thanks I get for the night of hot sex? 915 01:04:49,203 --> 01:04:51,997 I'm dead sexy. 916 01:04:52,165 --> 01:04:53,373 You were crap. 917 01:04:54,876 --> 01:04:57,711 Yes. In your dreams. 918 01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:05,302 Felicity would never sleep with you. 919 01:05:06,721 --> 01:05:08,055 Right? 920 01:05:08,514 --> 01:05:11,808 I did what I had to do. I'm a secret agent. 921 01:05:11,976 --> 01:05:13,561 What? 922 01:05:20,069 --> 01:05:22,487 All right, that's enough, Fat Bastard. 923 01:05:22,655 --> 01:05:26,366 As much as I like seeing Powers in agony, and I do... 924 01:05:26,533 --> 01:05:29,410 ...the thought of you naked is just gross. 925 01:05:29,912 --> 01:05:32,413 You can't stop me now, Mr. Powers. 926 01:05:32,915 --> 01:05:34,666 I have your mojo. 927 01:05:34,833 --> 01:05:37,752 - My mojo... - And I'm taking it with me to the moon. 928 01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:40,546 Put them in the jail cell! 929 01:05:40,923 --> 01:05:44,842 My mojo! I'll get you, Dr. Evil, I'll get you! 930 01:05:45,010 --> 01:05:47,595 Oh, look at me, I'm shaking in my little space boots. 931 01:05:47,763 --> 01:05:49,597 I want my mojo! 932 01:05:49,765 --> 01:05:53,101 - Give back my mojo! I'll get you, Dr. Evil. - Great plan, Einstein. 933 01:05:53,268 --> 01:05:56,854 Well, you're gonna put them in a cell with one inept guard and they'll escape. 934 01:05:57,022 --> 01:05:59,357 God, you do this every time. 935 01:06:00,859 --> 01:06:02,985 You know, Scott... 936 01:06:03,153 --> 01:06:05,113 ...I've been a fricking evil doctor... 937 01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:08,991 ...for 30 fricking years, okay? 938 01:06:09,159 --> 01:06:11,745 Cut me some fricking slack. 939 01:06:12,330 --> 01:06:14,081 You forget, Scott. 940 01:06:14,249 --> 01:06:16,250 We're in a volcano. 941 01:06:16,418 --> 01:06:19,545 We're surrounded by liquid-hot magma. 942 01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:23,132 What are you drawing? 943 01:06:25,301 --> 01:06:28,178 It's just a goodbye card, that's all. 944 01:06:29,139 --> 01:06:31,014 It's sweet. 945 01:06:38,982 --> 01:06:40,816 Hey, back off. - Get him! Get the baby! 946 01:06:40,984 --> 01:06:43,277 - Back off! Simmer down. Simmer down. 947 01:06:43,445 --> 01:06:45,154 Get in there! Gnaw on him! 948 01:06:45,321 --> 01:06:47,156 He's my posse. 949 01:06:47,741 --> 01:06:48,782 Okay. 950 01:06:48,950 --> 01:06:51,493 You take special care of him. 951 01:06:51,661 --> 01:06:53,746 He's my special boy. 952 01:06:53,913 --> 01:06:55,330 Attention. 953 01:06:55,498 --> 01:06:56,999 Prepare for launch. 954 01:06:58,835 --> 01:07:03,172 Repeat, all technicians to launch positions. 955 01:07:03,339 --> 01:07:05,007 Gentlemen... 956 01:07:05,175 --> 01:07:07,802 ...I'm about to go to the moon. 957 01:07:07,970 --> 01:07:11,389 Initiate prelaunch sequence. 958 01:07:11,557 --> 01:07:14,184 Main rocket engine ignition... 959 01:07:14,351 --> 01:07:17,187 Frau. Begin the countdown. 960 01:07:17,354 --> 01:07:19,147 Five! Four! 961 01:07:19,315 --> 01:07:21,107 - Three! Two... - Frau. 962 01:07:21,275 --> 01:07:23,026 Begin the countdown at 30. 963 01:07:24,904 --> 01:07:25,945 Thirty! 964 01:07:26,113 --> 01:07:30,492 Twenty-nine, 28, 27... 965 01:07:30,659 --> 01:07:32,827 ...twenty-six, 25... 966 01:07:33,454 --> 01:07:36,331 ...twenty-four, 23... 967 01:07:36,499 --> 01:07:39,667 ...twenty-two, 21... 968 01:07:39,835 --> 01:07:42,045 ...twenty, 19... 969 01:07:42,213 --> 01:07:43,630 ...eighteen... 970 01:07:43,798 --> 01:07:47,008 ...seventeen, 16... 971 01:07:47,176 --> 01:07:50,512 ...fifteen, 14, 13... 972 01:07:50,679 --> 01:07:55,725 You know what? When the doors close, just say "go." Better. 973 01:08:00,397 --> 01:08:02,190 Go! 974 01:08:31,972 --> 01:08:34,098 Colonel, you better take a look at this radar. 975 01:08:35,809 --> 01:08:37,434 What is it, son? 976 01:08:37,602 --> 01:08:40,187 I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant... 977 01:08:40,355 --> 01:08:41,689 - Dick. Yeah? 978 01:08:41,857 --> 01:08:43,190 Take a look out of starboard. 979 01:08:43,358 --> 01:08:46,610 Oh, my God! It looks like a huge... 980 01:08:46,778 --> 01:08:48,529 - Pecker! - Where? 981 01:08:48,697 --> 01:08:51,365 Wait, that's not a woodpecker. It looks like someone's... 982 01:08:51,533 --> 01:08:52,616 Privates! 983 01:08:52,784 --> 01:08:55,703 We have reports of an unidentified flying object! 984 01:08:55,871 --> 01:08:59,290 It is a long, smooth shaft, complete with... 985 01:08:59,457 --> 01:09:00,625 Two balls! 986 01:09:00,793 --> 01:09:02,294 What is that? 987 01:09:02,461 --> 01:09:04,087 That looks just like an enormous... 988 01:09:04,255 --> 01:09:05,589 Wang! Pay attention. 989 01:09:06,090 --> 01:09:08,717 I was distracted by that enormous flying... 990 01:09:08,885 --> 01:09:10,093 - Willie. - Yeah? 991 01:09:10,261 --> 01:09:11,845 What's that? 992 01:09:12,680 --> 01:09:14,139 Well, it looks like a giant... 993 01:09:14,307 --> 01:09:15,640 - Johnson. - Yes, sir. 994 01:09:15,808 --> 01:09:19,185 Get on the horn to British intelligence and let them know about this. 995 01:09:35,494 --> 01:09:36,995 What do we do? 996 01:09:37,163 --> 01:09:39,789 Why don't you just shag Fat Bastard again? 997 01:09:39,957 --> 01:09:41,833 Austin, this is no time to get jealous. 998 01:09:42,001 --> 01:09:44,836 - Well, how could you do it? - I was just doing my job. 999 01:09:45,004 --> 01:09:47,172 No, I mean literally. How could you do it? 1000 01:09:47,340 --> 01:09:50,300 The man's so fat, the sheer mechanics of it are mind-boggling. 1001 01:09:50,468 --> 01:09:54,095 Look, don't try to lay your hang-ups on me just because you lost your mojo. 1002 01:09:54,847 --> 01:09:56,766 Ouch, baby. 1003 01:09:56,934 --> 01:09:59,018 Very ouch. 1004 01:09:59,186 --> 01:10:01,479 Look, Austin, we're running out of time. 1005 01:10:02,022 --> 01:10:03,105 I'm sorry. 1006 01:10:04,691 --> 01:10:07,485 I just did what I thought you would do in the same situation. 1007 01:10:08,862 --> 01:10:11,030 You're the reason that I became a spy. 1008 01:10:12,282 --> 01:10:14,867 I thought that I wanted to be you... 1009 01:10:15,035 --> 01:10:17,244 ...but then I realized... 1010 01:10:18,163 --> 01:10:20,206 ...that I wanna be with you. 1011 01:10:20,624 --> 01:10:22,166 You do? 1012 01:10:22,542 --> 01:10:24,168 Yeah. 1013 01:10:24,795 --> 01:10:25,878 Hang on, baby. 1014 01:10:26,046 --> 01:10:27,672 Ally-oop! 1015 01:10:29,174 --> 01:10:31,050 Look, maybe we should talk about this later. 1016 01:10:31,218 --> 01:10:33,094 We need to get past that inept guard. 1017 01:10:33,261 --> 01:10:34,387 Right. Here's the plan. 1018 01:10:34,554 --> 01:10:37,056 I pretend to be desperately ill with food poisoning. 1019 01:10:37,224 --> 01:10:40,351 The guard, drawn by my cries of pain, comes to investigate. 1020 01:10:40,519 --> 01:10:42,019 Meanwhile, you dig a pit... 1021 01:10:42,187 --> 01:10:45,272 ...line it with punji sticks made from sharpened toothbrushes. 1022 01:10:45,440 --> 01:10:48,985 The guard falls in, Bob's your uncle, we escape. What do you think? 1023 01:10:49,152 --> 01:10:51,946 That might work, but what about this? 1024 01:10:53,157 --> 01:10:56,493 - What do you think of these, my man? - Mommy! 1025 01:11:02,834 --> 01:11:05,502 What a burn. 1026 01:11:07,380 --> 01:11:10,173 That sort of thing could get a man... 1027 01:11:10,341 --> 01:11:12,092 ...fired. 1028 01:11:13,428 --> 01:11:15,971 I think he was hot... 1029 01:11:16,139 --> 01:11:18,515 ...for you. 1030 01:11:18,683 --> 01:11:20,934 - That's enough. - Yeah. 1031 01:11:26,399 --> 01:11:28,108 Ladies and gentlemen... 1032 01:11:28,276 --> 01:11:30,861 ...welcome to my moon base. 1033 01:11:31,738 --> 01:11:36,033 You've all been chosen to be part of my elite moon unit... 1034 01:11:36,200 --> 01:11:38,702 ...which is divided into two divisions: 1035 01:11:38,870 --> 01:11:43,123 Moon Unit Alpha and Moon Unit Zappa. 1036 01:11:43,291 --> 01:11:48,086 In exactly six hours, the moon will move in its orbit around the Earth... 1037 01:11:48,254 --> 01:11:50,798 ...bringing Washington, D. C... 1038 01:11:50,966 --> 01:11:54,469 ...within range of my giant "laser." 1039 01:11:54,636 --> 01:11:58,806 Begin "laser" ignition sequence. 1040 01:11:58,974 --> 01:12:01,309 Begin laser ignition! 1041 01:12:02,853 --> 01:12:07,148 Attention. Moon Unit Zappa to firing stations. 1042 01:12:07,483 --> 01:12:10,026 Initiation sequence in progress. 1043 01:12:10,194 --> 01:12:11,903 Okay. All right. 1044 01:12:12,071 --> 01:12:14,655 Gravity boost to EMS. Steady at full power. 1045 01:12:14,823 --> 01:12:18,242 All I asked for was a fricking rotating chair, okay? 1046 01:12:18,410 --> 01:12:19,869 Oh, okay. 1047 01:12:20,037 --> 01:12:24,332 Okay, okay. Getting a little afraid. 1048 01:12:24,500 --> 01:12:27,668 I need an old priest and a young priest. 1049 01:12:27,836 --> 01:12:30,671 The power of Christ compels you! 1050 01:12:30,839 --> 01:12:35,301 The power of Christ compels you! Whoa, hello. 1051 01:12:35,469 --> 01:12:40,848 Okay. Sick as a dog now. 1052 01:12:41,016 --> 01:12:44,352 - Okay. Okay. Get him a bucket. 1053 01:12:44,520 --> 01:12:46,188 Gonna vom. 1054 01:12:54,155 --> 01:12:57,533 We need to hitch a ride to the moon, baby. 1055 01:12:57,951 --> 01:13:02,162 Apollo 11 is good to go. Crew to all stations. 1056 01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:08,377 We will have liftoff in T-minus five seconds. Four... 1057 01:13:08,545 --> 01:13:10,462 ...three... two... 1058 01:13:12,090 --> 01:13:13,715 We have liftoff! 1059 01:13:13,883 --> 01:13:16,468 Apollo 11 has cleared the tower and is heading for... 1060 01:13:16,636 --> 01:13:18,095 ...a rendezvous with the moon. 1061 01:13:27,272 --> 01:13:30,023 Arm the "laser." 1062 01:13:30,525 --> 01:13:32,234 Arming the laser! 1063 01:13:32,402 --> 01:13:35,195 Attention, arming the death star. 1064 01:13:35,363 --> 01:13:37,865 - Battle stations. Laser armed! 1065 01:13:38,032 --> 01:13:40,993 All crew prepare for ready battle stations. 1066 01:13:41,161 --> 01:13:43,079 Get me the president. 1067 01:13:43,998 --> 01:13:46,249 You're gonna like this part, Mini-Me. 1068 01:13:46,417 --> 01:13:48,918 This is the part where we threaten the world leader. 1069 01:13:49,086 --> 01:13:51,880 I know we do it every time. However, it is important to... 1070 01:13:55,759 --> 01:13:57,510 Mini-Me? 1071 01:13:58,345 --> 01:14:01,097 Mini-Me, where are you? 1072 01:14:01,265 --> 01:14:05,059 Can someone put a fricking bell on him or something? 1073 01:14:06,937 --> 01:14:07,937 Great. 1074 01:14:08,105 --> 01:14:10,273 Somebody get the stick. 1075 01:14:11,817 --> 01:14:14,360 Just grab on to the hook, all right? 1076 01:14:14,528 --> 01:14:16,613 You complete me. 1077 01:14:16,780 --> 01:14:18,615 I love you. 1078 01:14:19,450 --> 01:14:20,783 Hang in there, Mini-Me. 1079 01:14:20,951 --> 01:14:25,246 If anything should happen to you, I don't know what I would do. 1080 01:14:25,414 --> 01:14:28,124 I'd probably move on and get another replica... 1081 01:14:28,292 --> 01:14:32,462 ...but there'd be a 10-minute period there when I would just be inconsolable. 1082 01:14:32,922 --> 01:14:35,048 We have your money, but it wasn't easy. 1083 01:14:35,216 --> 01:14:37,592 Papa has to do some work, okay? 1084 01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:40,888 Well, you have exactly 30 minutes to get it to me. 1085 01:14:44,976 --> 01:14:46,268 Jiminy German Jesus! 1086 01:14:46,436 --> 01:14:49,146 I can't believe we're gonna pay that madman. 1087 01:14:49,314 --> 01:14:52,650 I got nukes out the yin-yang. Just let me launch one, for chrissake! 1088 01:14:52,817 --> 01:14:57,738 Sir! Are you suggesting that we blow up the moon? 1089 01:14:57,906 --> 01:15:00,741 Would you miss it? 1090 01:15:04,996 --> 01:15:06,163 Mission control... 1091 01:15:06,331 --> 01:15:09,667 ...the swinger has landed, yeah. 1092 01:15:10,919 --> 01:15:13,170 Airlock open. 1093 01:15:16,800 --> 01:15:18,008 Repressurize. 1094 01:15:18,176 --> 01:15:19,927 - Let's find Dr. Evil. - Yeah. 1095 01:15:20,095 --> 01:15:23,013 Enjoy your stay on the moon. 1096 01:15:23,306 --> 01:15:24,348 Hello, hello. 1097 01:15:25,850 --> 01:15:27,518 There he is. 1098 01:15:30,021 --> 01:15:33,649 - I'll cover your rear. - No, you go ahead. 1099 01:15:33,900 --> 01:15:36,194 This time, it's personal. 1100 01:16:41,595 --> 01:16:45,222 No more! I can't take it anymore! 1101 01:16:45,849 --> 01:16:46,932 Peace? 1102 01:16:47,934 --> 01:16:52,021 You brought my glasses. Bless your little heart. 1103 01:16:53,273 --> 01:16:55,191 That's not right, that's... 1104 01:16:56,193 --> 01:17:00,029 Oh, don't, that's just... Now I'm pissed! 1105 01:17:00,197 --> 01:17:01,447 Judo flip! 1106 01:17:10,248 --> 01:17:12,124 Poor little bugger. 1107 01:17:12,292 --> 01:17:13,959 He's so small. 1108 01:17:14,127 --> 01:17:16,796 He's like a dog or something. 1109 01:17:17,297 --> 01:17:19,548 Poor little bugger. 1110 01:17:26,765 --> 01:17:29,601 Get off! Off! 1111 01:17:40,279 --> 01:17:41,822 Okay. 1112 01:17:44,158 --> 01:17:46,827 Oh! Oh! Get out of my suit! 1113 01:17:48,162 --> 01:17:50,872 It tickles. Oh, it tickles. No. 1114 01:17:55,461 --> 01:17:56,670 Gotcha. 1115 01:18:24,657 --> 01:18:26,033 Poor little bugger. 1116 01:18:26,869 --> 01:18:28,619 I salute you. 1117 01:18:38,255 --> 01:18:39,714 All right, slap-head. 1118 01:18:39,882 --> 01:18:41,549 Turn around. 1119 01:18:41,717 --> 01:18:44,385 Where's my mojo? 1120 01:18:44,553 --> 01:18:47,680 Well, it looks like you have a choice, Mr. Powers: 1121 01:18:47,848 --> 01:18:49,515 Save the world... 1122 01:18:50,017 --> 01:18:51,851 ...or save your girlfriend. 1123 01:18:52,019 --> 01:18:54,687 - Austin! - Felicity! 1124 01:18:54,855 --> 01:18:56,564 Don't worry about me, Austin! 1125 01:18:56,732 --> 01:18:58,232 You've gotta save the world! 1126 01:18:59,568 --> 01:19:01,194 Kill him! 1127 01:19:03,822 --> 01:19:05,072 Fire the "laser"! 1128 01:19:05,240 --> 01:19:06,240 Target locking. 1129 01:19:08,327 --> 01:19:11,078 Laser set to full fatality. 1130 01:19:11,830 --> 01:19:13,581 Judo kick! 1131 01:19:16,084 --> 01:19:18,377 Target missed. Mojo in trouble now. 1132 01:19:18,587 --> 01:19:22,758 You may have won the battle, Mr. Powers, but you lost the war. 1133 01:19:22,926 --> 01:19:26,011 No! No, no! 1134 01:19:26,179 --> 01:19:29,348 Felicity! Wake up, Felicity, wake up! 1135 01:19:35,063 --> 01:19:37,231 I love you, Felicity. 1136 01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:38,440 I love you. 1137 01:19:39,567 --> 01:19:41,693 Dr. Evil! I'll kill him! 1138 01:19:46,574 --> 01:19:48,367 Gotcha! 1139 01:19:53,915 --> 01:19:58,460 Ow! You shot me, you A-hole. 1140 01:19:58,628 --> 01:20:01,797 And now I'm going to kill you. 1141 01:20:03,132 --> 01:20:05,300 Before you do that... 1142 01:20:07,303 --> 01:20:09,555 ...know this: 1143 01:20:11,099 --> 01:20:13,058 Austin... 1144 01:20:17,021 --> 01:20:19,983 ...I am your father. 1145 01:20:21,402 --> 01:20:23,152 Really? 1146 01:20:24,446 --> 01:20:27,574 No, not really. I can't back that up. 1147 01:20:28,242 --> 01:20:30,827 Right. Idiot. Yes. 1148 01:20:30,995 --> 01:20:35,873 But isn't it interesting, Mr. Powers, that you would rather kill me... 1149 01:20:36,041 --> 01:20:38,918 ...than save your precious Felicity? 1150 01:20:39,086 --> 01:20:40,670 What do you mean? 1151 01:20:40,838 --> 01:20:45,341 Remember, there's a time portal in the main chamber. 1152 01:20:45,509 --> 01:20:48,177 You could go back and save her. 1153 01:20:48,345 --> 01:20:49,846 I'll do that. 1154 01:20:54,685 --> 01:20:56,436 Felicity! 1155 01:20:57,271 --> 01:20:58,354 Good work. 1156 01:21:00,357 --> 01:21:02,317 Good work! 1157 01:21:04,862 --> 01:21:05,987 Good work! 1158 01:21:22,297 --> 01:21:25,257 Well, it looks like you have a choice, Mr. Powers: 1159 01:21:25,425 --> 01:21:27,134 Save the world... 1160 01:21:27,302 --> 01:21:28,969 ...or save your girlfriend. 1161 01:21:29,137 --> 01:21:30,888 - Austin! - Felicity! 1162 01:21:31,056 --> 01:21:34,058 Don't worry about me, Austin! You've gotta save the world! 1163 01:21:36,227 --> 01:21:38,228 I choose love, baby! 1164 01:21:38,396 --> 01:21:39,855 Wait a tick. 1165 01:21:40,023 --> 01:21:43,484 - Who are you? - I'm you, ten minutes from now. 1166 01:21:43,818 --> 01:21:45,778 Damn it, you are handsome. 1167 01:21:47,322 --> 01:21:48,739 I was just thinking the same. 1168 01:21:50,575 --> 01:21:52,576 We are sexy. 1169 01:21:52,744 --> 01:21:55,663 We are sexy bitches, yeah. 1170 01:21:55,830 --> 01:21:59,833 All right, this is ri-goddamn-diculous. Kill them both! 1171 01:22:03,588 --> 01:22:05,255 Fire the "laser." 1172 01:22:05,423 --> 01:22:06,465 Thank you. 1173 01:22:06,633 --> 01:22:08,759 Fire the "laser"! 1174 01:22:08,927 --> 01:22:10,260 Listen, Past Austin. 1175 01:22:10,428 --> 01:22:12,764 Can you save the world while I go get the girl? 1176 01:22:12,932 --> 01:22:15,266 Sure, Austin-From-10-Minutes-From-Now. 1177 01:22:15,434 --> 01:22:17,394 Target locking. 1178 01:22:18,145 --> 01:22:21,189 Laser set to full fatality. 1179 01:22:25,277 --> 01:22:26,695 Ah! Target missed. 1180 01:22:26,862 --> 01:22:29,906 Come on, come on. You're all right. Yeah, come on. 1181 01:22:30,449 --> 01:22:32,951 - You all right? Are you okay? - Yeah. 1182 01:22:35,162 --> 01:22:39,416 Say, what's the policy on ménage à trois? 1183 01:22:39,792 --> 01:22:42,085 You are adorable. 1184 01:22:42,837 --> 01:22:43,878 Yes. 1185 01:22:44,714 --> 01:22:47,132 Looking for this, Mr. Powers? 1186 01:22:48,050 --> 01:22:50,135 My mojo. 1187 01:22:50,636 --> 01:22:54,597 Self-destruct in two minutes and counting. 1188 01:22:58,436 --> 01:23:00,979 - No! - No! 1189 01:23:03,774 --> 01:23:04,816 Watch out! 1190 01:23:15,328 --> 01:23:17,621 See you in hell, Powers! 1191 01:23:19,624 --> 01:23:21,333 No, my... 1192 01:23:21,501 --> 01:23:23,878 Okay, Austin-From-10-Minutes-From-Now. 1193 01:23:24,045 --> 01:23:27,131 This place is gonna blow! Let's go! Come on! 1194 01:23:31,344 --> 01:23:34,597 Self-destruct in 30 seconds and counting. 1195 01:23:34,765 --> 01:23:36,974 - Twenty-nine. - No! 1196 01:23:37,142 --> 01:23:39,018 - Let's go! - No! My mojo! 1197 01:23:39,186 --> 01:23:42,104 - We have to go now! - My mojo! I'm useless without it! 1198 01:23:42,272 --> 01:23:45,191 - You don't need it, you've had it all along. - What do you mean? 1199 01:23:45,358 --> 01:23:49,779 You defeated Dr. Evil, saved the world, and, believe me, you're gonna get the girl. 1200 01:23:50,489 --> 01:23:51,614 Well. 1201 01:23:54,534 --> 01:23:57,203 Yeah. All right, then. Maybe later. Yeah, come on. 1202 01:24:00,791 --> 01:24:01,957 Go! 1203 01:24:02,876 --> 01:24:05,044 I'll set the controls for 1967. 1204 01:24:06,339 --> 01:24:09,549 Felicity, why don't you come with me to 1999? 1205 01:24:09,717 --> 01:24:12,010 Well, I don't know. The '60s were just so groovy. 1206 01:24:12,178 --> 01:24:14,638 I wanna to see what happens in the '70s and '80s. 1207 01:24:14,806 --> 01:24:16,515 The '70s and the '80s? 1208 01:24:16,682 --> 01:24:19,100 You're not missing anything. I looked into it. 1209 01:24:19,268 --> 01:24:24,356 There's a gas shortage and A Flock of Seagulls. That's about it. 1210 01:24:27,151 --> 01:24:28,235 Let's go! 1211 01:24:50,007 --> 01:24:51,383 I love you, Austin Powers. 1212 01:24:51,551 --> 01:24:54,052 And I love you, Felicity Shagwell. 1213 01:24:54,679 --> 01:24:56,263 Wherever we go... 1214 01:24:56,430 --> 01:24:58,223 There we are. 1215 01:25:01,060 --> 01:25:02,645 Special delivery. 1216 01:25:04,314 --> 01:25:07,775 Ah! Surprise, surprise! 1217 01:25:09,736 --> 01:25:10,945 Listen, missy. 1218 01:25:11,572 --> 01:25:13,823 Do you fancy another go? 1219 01:25:13,991 --> 01:25:18,202 Because once you've had fat, you never go back. 1220 01:25:18,370 --> 01:25:21,831 You shut your mouth, you bastard... 1221 01:25:23,166 --> 01:25:24,542 ...who is fat. 1222 01:25:24,710 --> 01:25:25,793 That's right, yeah. 1223 01:25:25,961 --> 01:25:29,547 Before you kill us, let me ask you one question: 1224 01:25:29,715 --> 01:25:33,426 - Are you happy? - What kind of stupid-ass question is that? 1225 01:25:33,594 --> 01:25:37,263 I'm rich and I'm dead sexy! 1226 01:25:39,391 --> 01:25:41,225 Yeah. 1227 01:25:44,771 --> 01:25:47,982 Well, you didn't answer my question. Are you happy? 1228 01:25:48,400 --> 01:25:50,318 Of course I'm not happy. 1229 01:25:50,485 --> 01:25:53,195 Look at me. I'm a big, fat slob. 1230 01:25:53,363 --> 01:25:55,740 I've got bigger titties than you do. 1231 01:25:55,908 --> 01:25:59,828 I've got more chins than a Chinese phone book! 1232 01:25:59,996 --> 01:26:02,164 I've not seen my willy in two years... 1233 01:26:02,332 --> 01:26:06,668 ...which is long enough to declare it legally dead! 1234 01:26:08,504 --> 01:26:11,840 I can't stop eating. 1235 01:26:12,508 --> 01:26:14,593 I eat because I'm unhappy. 1236 01:26:18,014 --> 01:26:21,016 And I'm unhappy because I eat. 1237 01:26:21,184 --> 01:26:23,268 It's a vicious cycle. 1238 01:26:23,853 --> 01:26:25,854 If you'll excuse me... 1239 01:26:26,022 --> 01:26:29,691 ...there's someone I have to get in touch with and forgive. 1240 01:26:30,944 --> 01:26:32,819 Myself. 1241 01:26:36,991 --> 01:26:38,825 Oh, God. 1242 01:26:39,535 --> 01:26:41,870 Sorry. I farted. 1243 01:26:43,790 --> 01:26:46,041 It's a long road ahead. 1244 01:26:48,294 --> 01:26:49,878 Oh, who am I kidding? 1245 01:26:50,046 --> 01:26:51,880 I'm gonna kill you anyway. 1246 01:26:52,048 --> 01:26:53,215 Judo chop! 1247 01:26:54,717 --> 01:26:58,221 Right in the mommy-daddy button! 1248 01:26:58,389 --> 01:27:00,890 That's for calling me crap, you fatty. 1249 01:27:11,068 --> 01:27:13,528 Listen, baby, I don't care if he is a fat bastard. 1250 01:27:13,696 --> 01:27:18,199 You don't give a man a shot in the pills. It's just not cricket. 1251 01:27:19,201 --> 01:27:21,202 Do you think I'll be happy here in the '90s? 1252 01:27:21,370 --> 01:27:24,664 Well, I know the '90s might sound boring... 1253 01:27:24,832 --> 01:27:26,958 ...but as far as I'm concerned... 1254 01:27:27,126 --> 01:27:30,962 ...I've brought the best part of the '60s back with me: 1255 01:27:31,797 --> 01:27:32,922 You. 1256 01:27:33,882 --> 01:27:36,092 - Wait a minute. - Where are you going? 1257 01:28:22,724 --> 01:28:24,475 Did we get Dr. Evil? 1258 01:28:24,642 --> 01:28:27,394 No, sir. He got away in that rocket that looks like a huge... 1259 01:28:27,562 --> 01:28:31,190 Penis. The male reproductive organ. 1260 01:28:31,357 --> 01:28:34,485 Also known as tallywhacker, schlong or... 1261 01:28:34,652 --> 01:28:35,778 Wiener? 1262 01:28:35,945 --> 01:28:37,863 Any of you kids want another wiener? 1263 01:28:38,031 --> 01:28:39,990 Dad, what's that? 1264 01:28:40,158 --> 01:28:43,077 I don't know, son, but it's got great big... 1265 01:28:43,244 --> 01:28:46,830 Nuts! Hot, salty nuts! Who wants some...? 1266 01:28:46,998 --> 01:28:48,207 Lord almighty! 1267 01:28:48,374 --> 01:28:50,168 That looks just like my husband's... 1268 01:28:50,336 --> 01:28:54,672 One-eyed monster! Step right up and see the one-eyed monster! 1269 01:28:57,635 --> 01:28:59,969 Hey, what's that? It looks like a big... 1270 01:29:00,137 --> 01:29:01,221 Woody? 1271 01:29:01,388 --> 01:29:03,723 Woody Harrelson? Can I have your autograph? 1272 01:29:03,891 --> 01:29:05,892 Sure, no problem. 1273 01:29:06,060 --> 01:29:08,269 Oh, my Lord! Look at that thing. 1274 01:29:08,437 --> 01:29:09,771 It's so big. 1275 01:29:09,939 --> 01:29:11,356 I've seen bigger. That's... 1276 01:29:11,524 --> 01:29:13,650 Just a little prick. 1277 01:29:13,818 --> 01:29:15,318 It's a flu shot. 1278 01:29:15,486 --> 01:29:19,322 You've been in the coldness of space. I don't want you to get sick. 1279 01:29:19,490 --> 01:29:24,661 It's one thing to attack me. It's quite another to attack my Mini-Me. 1280 01:29:24,829 --> 01:29:27,580 I'm gonna get you, Austin Powers. 1281 01:29:27,748 --> 01:29:29,541 I'm gonna get you. 1282 01:29:47,769 --> 01:29:48,811 Thank you. 1283 01:29:48,979 --> 01:29:51,981 We're doing a follow-up to a segment we did several months ago... 1284 01:29:52,149 --> 01:29:54,900 ...on fathers who are trying to take over the world. 1285 01:29:55,527 --> 01:29:57,486 Let's begin with Scott Evil. 1286 01:30:00,782 --> 01:30:02,199 What's going on with your dad? 1287 01:30:02,367 --> 01:30:06,370 Well, my dad tried to take over the world with a giant laser on the moon. 1288 01:30:07,789 --> 01:30:08,831 I know. 1289 01:30:08,999 --> 01:30:12,084 - Well, Scott, we have a surprise for you. - What? My dad? 1290 01:30:12,252 --> 01:30:14,712 No, it's not your father. It's your mother. 1291 01:30:14,880 --> 01:30:16,422 Come on out. 1292 01:30:18,091 --> 01:30:20,092 Mom, mom, mom. 1293 01:30:20,260 --> 01:30:23,262 Mom, mom, mom. 1294 01:30:23,430 --> 01:30:24,555 Mom? 1295 01:30:25,015 --> 01:30:29,059 Scott, you are my love child with Dr. Evil. 1296 01:30:29,603 --> 01:30:31,770 I thought I was a test-tube baby. 1297 01:30:31,938 --> 01:30:34,982 He lies. All lies! 1298 01:30:36,234 --> 01:30:37,818 I love you, Mom. 1299 01:30:38,945 --> 01:30:40,821 I love you too, son. 1300 01:30:46,787 --> 01:30:47,787 Thank you. 1301 01:30:47,955 --> 01:30:50,665 You know, what have we learned here today? 1302 01:30:50,833 --> 01:30:54,753 Perhaps it's that no one can take your mojo. 1303 01:30:54,921 --> 01:30:56,004 You can look around... 1304 01:30:56,172 --> 01:30:58,965 ...but what you're really trying to find is on the inside. 1305 01:31:00,760 --> 01:31:03,345 Take care of yourself, and each other. 1306 01:31:10,311 --> 01:31:12,854 I think I'm going to like it in the '90s. 1307 01:31:13,022 --> 01:31:17,108 I never knew it could be this way. Oh, baby! Baby, baby! 1308 01:31:17,276 --> 01:31:18,818 Oh, no. 1309 01:31:21,989 --> 01:31:24,658 - Oh, that's good. - Felicity. 1310 01:31:27,161 --> 01:31:29,329 - Austin? - How could you? 1311 01:31:29,497 --> 01:31:30,997 I thought that... 1312 01:31:32,041 --> 01:31:33,667 Past Austin? 1313 01:31:35,253 --> 01:31:37,087 Technically, it's not cheating, baby. 1314 01:31:37,255 --> 01:31:40,091 Well, Felicity, I can't blame you. 1315 01:31:40,842 --> 01:31:43,052 The man is handsome, baby. 1316 01:31:43,220 --> 01:31:45,680 We're just plain handsome, man. 1317 01:31:45,847 --> 01:31:48,516 Am I wrong, but this makes me horny, baby? 1318 01:31:48,684 --> 01:31:50,726 Very randy! 1319 01:31:51,395 --> 01:31:55,731 Well, one thing's for sure: I've got my mojo back. 1320 01:31:55,899 --> 01:31:59,652 Oh, yes, yes, yes. It's definitely back. 1321 01:31:59,820 --> 01:32:01,487 Hello, you all right? 1322 01:32:02,864 --> 01:32:05,032 Me spuds are boiling. 1323 01:32:08,245 --> 01:32:11,622 Come on, darling, let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing. 1324 01:32:11,790 --> 01:32:14,375 Paging Dr. Freud. 1325 01:34:36,855 --> 01:34:39,857 Hello, up there. Is the movie over? 1326 01:34:40,024 --> 01:34:43,235 I'm still down here and I'm still in quite a lot of pain. 1327 01:34:43,403 --> 01:34:45,863 Maybe someone in the lobby could call an ambulance. 1328 01:34:46,030 --> 01:34:48,907 Oh! The pain is really quite severe. 1329 01:34:49,075 --> 01:34:51,952 I've fashioned a makeshift splint. Here goes nothing.