1 00:00:14,807 --> 00:00:16,891 (MAN SINGING) Oh, yeah 2 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,560 Oh 3 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:26,401 You gotta wake up one mornin' As the sun greets the dawn 4 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:32,782 You're gonna wake up one mornin' As the sun greets the dawn 5 00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:46,796 You didn't realize 6 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,007 (FAINTER) You didn't realize 7 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:53,302 Oh, you're my best friend, baby 8 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,764 (SCREAMS) You're gonna miss me, baby 9 00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:59,767 - (MUSIC CONTINUES FAINTLY) - What came first? 10 00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:02,895 The music or the misery? 11 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,148 People worry about kids playing with guns, 12 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,566 or watching violent videos, 13 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:09,610 that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. 14 00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:13,156 Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands 15 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:16,826 of songs about heartbreak, rejection, 16 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:20,121 pain, misery and loss. 17 00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:23,708 Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? 18 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:27,003 Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music? 19 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,087 (MUSIC CONTINUES OVER HEADPHONES) 20 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,602 You don't have to go this second. 21 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:46,230 - You can stay until whenever. - (WHISPERING) No. 22 00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:47,815 We've done the hard part now, I might as well just... 23 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,859 Stay for tonight, then. 24 00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:55,281 Laura. 25 00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:00,369 You're just gonna... 26 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:20,389 My desert island, all-time top five 27 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:24,477 most memorable breakups, in chronological order 28 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,521 are as follows, 29 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:30,608 Alison Ashmore, Penny Hardwick, 30 00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:34,195 Jackie Alden, Charlie Nicholson and Sarah Kendrew. 31 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:37,448 Those were the ones that really hurt. 32 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:40,868 Can you see your name on that list, Laura? 33 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,997 Maybe you'd sneak into the top 10. 34 00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,501 But there's just no room for you in the top five. Sorry! 35 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,212 Those places are reserved for the kind of humiliation and heartbreak 36 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:53,548 you're just not capable of delivering. 37 00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,758 (HEAVY METAL MUSIC) 38 00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,679 If you really wanted to mess me up, 39 00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:02,348 you should have gotten to me earlier! 40 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,101 (CAR DOOR SLAMS) 41 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,895 (BLUES HARMONICA) 42 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:14,944 - (CLICKS) - (MUSIC STOPS) 43 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:21,576 Which brings us to number one on the top five all-time breakup list, 44 00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,995 Alison Ashmore. 45 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,207 One moment they weren't there, 46 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,626 not in any form that interested us, anyway, 47 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:34,380 and then the next, you couldn't miss them. 48 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,883 They were everywhere. 49 00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:40,219 And they'd grown breasts. 50 00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,345 And we wanted... 51 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,850 Actually, we didn't even know what we wanted. 52 00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:47,852 But it was something interesting. 53 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,272 Disturbing, even. 54 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:56,485 My relationship with Alison Ashmore lasted for six hours, 55 00:03:56,570 --> 00:04:00,364 the two hours after school, before The Rockford Files, 56 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:03,117 for three days in a row. 57 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,828 But on the fourth afternoon... 58 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,458 Kevin Bannister. 59 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,378 Slut. 60 00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:19,050 It would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. 61 00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,969 Relationships have become more sophisticated. 62 00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:24,555 Females less cruel. 63 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,642 Skins thicker. Instincts more developed. 64 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,646 But there seems to be an element of that afternoon 65 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:34,106 in everything that's happened to me since. 66 00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:39,320 All my romantic stories are a scrambled version of that first one. 67 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:43,032 Number two on the top five all-time breakup list 68 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,451 was Penny Hardwick. 69 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,829 Penny was great looking, and her top five recording artists 70 00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:52,792 were Carly Simon, Carole King, James Taylor, Cat Stevens 71 00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:54,794 and Elton John. 72 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:58,673 (SINGING) I remember when rock was young 73 00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,884 Erin! No, come here! 74 00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:05,388 Holdin' hands and skimmin' stones 75 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,722 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 76 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,224 ROB: She was nice. 77 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,102 Nice manners, nice grades, nice looking. 78 00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,896 She was so nice, in fact, that she wouldn't let me put my hand 79 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:17,566 underneath or even on top of her bra. 80 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:20,820 Attack and defense. Invasion and repulsion. 81 00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,822 It was as if breasts were little pieces of property, 82 00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:25,783 that had been unlawfully annexed by the opposite sex. 83 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,577 They were rightfully ours, and we wanted them back. 84 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:32,164 Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breast 85 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:34,375 that I would try to touch her between her legs. 86 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:36,293 It was like trying to borrow a dollar, getting turned down, 87 00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,504 and asking for 50 grand instead. 88 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,010 I wasn't interested in Penny's nice qualities, just breasts. 89 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,804 And therefore, she was no good to me. 90 00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:50,016 What's the point? It never goes anywhere. 91 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:56,272 (CRYING) Rob? 92 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,608 ROB: I started dating a girl who everyone said 93 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,694 would give it up and who didn't, 94 00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,821 and Penny went with this asshole named Chris Thompson, 95 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:07,908 who told me he had sex with her after something like three dates. 96 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,202 (EXPLOSION) 97 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:15,041 I own this store called Championship Vinyl. 98 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:16,709 It's located in a neighborhood 99 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:20,046 that attracts the bare minimum of window shoppers. 100 00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:24,550 I get by because of the people who make a special effort to shop here. 101 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,719 Mostly young men 102 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:29,346 who spend all their time looking for deleted Smiths singles 103 00:06:29,431 --> 00:06:33,517 and original, not re-released, underlined, Frank Zappa albums. 104 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,569 (FLUORESCENT LIGHTS BUZZING) 105 00:06:44,321 --> 00:06:48,616 Fetish properties are not unlike porn. 106 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:52,495 I'd feel guilty taking their money, if I wasn't, 107 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,789 well, kind of one of them. 108 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,416 (DOOR OPENING) 109 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:02,630 - Morning, Dick. - Oh, hi. Hi, Rob. 110 00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,757 Have a good weekend? 111 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:07,009 Yeah, okay. 112 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,554 I found the first Licorice Comfits album over at Vintage Vinyl. 113 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:12,431 The one on Testament of Youth. 114 00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:15,267 Never released here, a Japanese import only. 115 00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:17,686 Great. Great. 116 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:22,274 - I'll tape it for you. - No, that's okay. Really. 117 00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:25,361 You liked their second one, you said. Pop, Girls, etc. 118 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,947 That's the one with Cheryl Ladd on the cover. 119 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:35,663 Oh, you never saw the cover, though. You just had that tape I made you. 120 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,665 Yeah, I haven't really absorbed that one yet. 121 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:38,958 (BEEPING) 122 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,586 Well... 123 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,964 - I'll just make it for you. - Okay. 124 00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,841 (MAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY) 125 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,808 Dick, what's this? 126 00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,936 It's the new Belle and Sebastian. You like it? 127 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,146 (MAN IMITATING ROCK GUITAR) 128 00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:03,899 (SINGS IN FALSETTO) 129 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,862 (DICK'S RECORD CONTINUES) 130 00:08:07,946 --> 00:08:11,490 Holy Shiite. What the fuck is that? 131 00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:13,993 It's the new Belle and Sebastian... 132 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,662 It's a record we've been listening to and enjoying, Barry. 133 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:20,958 Well, that's unfortunate, because it sucks ass. 134 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,586 - (MUSIC STOPS) - Yours, I assume? 135 00:08:27,799 --> 00:08:29,592 (POP ROCK MUSIC BLARING) 136 00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:36,682 (SINGING) Mmm, yeah 137 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,894 I used to think maybe you loved me 138 00:08:39,978 --> 00:08:42,938 Now, baby, I'm sure 139 00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,815 Turn it off, Barry! 140 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,735 And I just can't wait till the day 141 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:50,112 - It won't go any louder. - Turn it off! 142 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,203 Now every time I go for the mailbox 143 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,747 I hold myself down 144 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,920 'Cause I just can't wait till you write me or 145 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,213 (CLICKS OFF TAPE) 146 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,091 Okay, buddy. Uh... 147 00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:13,928 I was just trying to cheer us up. So, go ahead. 148 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:16,555 Put on some old sad bastard music. See if I care. 149 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,933 I don't want to hear old sad bastard music, Barry. 150 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,810 - I just want something I can ignore. - BARRY: Here's the thing. 151 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,063 I made that tape special for today, 152 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,815 my special Monday morning tape for you, special. 153 00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,068 It's fucking Monday afternoon! You should get out of bed earlier. 154 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,570 Come on, dude. 155 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:34,531 Play it. Don't you want to hear what's next? 156 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:37,076 - What's next? - Play it! 157 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,245 Say it. 158 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,330 Little Latin Lupe Lu. (CHUCKLES) 159 00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:43,707 Mitch Ryder & The Detroit Wheels? 160 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,585 - No! - (BELL RINGING) 161 00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,213 - The Righteous Brothers. - Well, never mind. 162 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:50,464 No, not "never mind." Tell me right now. 163 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:51,840 What's wrong with The Righteous Brothers? 164 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,051 Nothing, I just prefer the other... 165 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:55,177 Bullshit! 166 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:58,055 How can it be bullshit to state a preference? 167 00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,848 Since when did this store become a fascist regime? 168 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,642 Since you brought that tape in. 169 00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:02,977 Oh, man, that's great! 170 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,937 That's the fun thing about workin' in a record store. 171 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:07,481 You get to play crappy pap you don't even want to listen to. 172 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,441 I thought this tape was gonna be 173 00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:13,195 a fuckin' conversation stimulator, man! 174 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:16,657 I was gonna ask you for your top five records to play on a Monday morning. 175 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,785 - You just had to fuckin' ruin it. - We'll do it next Monday. 176 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,037 No! I wanna do it now! 177 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,289 I can't fire them. 178 00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:24,915 I hired these guys for three days a week 179 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:29,169 and they just started showing up every day, that was four years ago. 180 00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:36,719 Number three in the top five all-time breakup list? 181 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:40,222 Charlie Nicholson. Sophomore year at college. 182 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,058 Whoo! Am I glad that's over. 183 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,102 ROB: As soon as I saw her, I realized she was the kind of girl 184 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:48,647 I'd wanted to meet ever since I was old enough to meet girls. 185 00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,733 I mean, she was different. 186 00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,736 She was dramatic, and she was exotic. 187 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,029 (INDISTINCT) 188 00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,614 And she talked a lot, and when she talked, 189 00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:02,578 she said remarkably interesting things about music, books, film and politics. 190 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,163 And she talked a lot. 191 00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,457 Have you ever seen him less than 300 feet tall? 192 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:08,584 - No. - Huh? No. 193 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:12,338 And you won't, will you, sweetheart? No. 194 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:16,008 Kiss my neck. Yeah. 195 00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:21,764 And she liked me. She liked me. She liked me. 196 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:25,142 At least, I think she did. (CLEARS THROAT) 197 00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:27,561 ROB: Do you like that one? CHARLIE: Yeah. 198 00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:29,855 It's okay. 199 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:32,274 ROB: We went out for two years. 200 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:35,694 And I never got comfortable. 201 00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:40,032 Why would a girl, no, a woman like Charlie go out with me? 202 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:47,539 I felt like a fraud. 203 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,541 I felt like one of those people who suddenly shave their heads 204 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,377 and said they'd always been punks. 205 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:54,088 I was sure I'd be discovered at any second. 206 00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,840 (ROCK GUITAR PLAYING) 207 00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,677 And I worried about my abilities as a lover. 208 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,474 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 209 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,898 And I was intimidated by other men in her design department 210 00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:16,985 and became convinced she was gonna leave me for one of them. 211 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,993 Then she left me for one of them. 212 00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:26,912 The dreaded Marco. 213 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:32,126 Charlie! You fucking bitch! Let's work it out! 214 00:12:32,210 --> 00:12:35,879 Just open the fucking door. Charlie! 215 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:39,341 Look, let's talk it... 216 00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,927 (THUNDERCLAP) 217 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:53,647 (GRUNTS) 218 00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,944 And then I lost it. 219 00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:02,990 Kinda lost it all, you know? 220 00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:05,451 Faith, dignity, about 15 pounds. 221 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:07,202 (SCREAMING) 222 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,166 (CONTINUES SCREAMING) 223 00:13:13,668 --> 00:13:16,253 When I came to, a few months later, 224 00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:19,756 I found, to my surprise, I had flunked out of school. 225 00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:24,136 Started working at a record shop. 226 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,138 Some people never got over 'Nam, 227 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,849 or the night their band opened for Nirvana. 228 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,643 I guess I never really got over Charlie. 229 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:34,980 But the thing I learned from the whole Charlie debacle 230 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,982 is that you gotta punch your weight. 231 00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:39,818 You see, Charlie, she's out of my class. 232 00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:43,906 She's too pretty. Too smart. Too witty. Too much. 233 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,533 I mean, what am I? I'm a middleweight. 234 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:48,827 Hey, I'm not the smartest guy in the world, 235 00:13:48,912 --> 00:13:50,829 but I'm certainly not the dumbest. 236 00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:53,457 I mean, I've read books like Unbearable Lightness of Being, 237 00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,793 and Love in the Time of Cholera. 238 00:13:56,878 --> 00:14:00,881 And I think I've understood them. They're about girls, right? 239 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,049 Just kidding. 240 00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:04,843 But I have to say, 241 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,012 my all-time favorite book is Johnny Cash's autobiography, 242 00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:08,430 - Cash by Johnny Cash. - (PHONE RINGING) 243 00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:12,684 - Championship. - LAURA: Hi. 244 00:14:21,736 --> 00:14:22,778 Hi. 245 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,447 Um... 246 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,659 I was thinking I could come by the house 247 00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:31,578 and pick up some stuff while you're at work tomorrow. 248 00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:34,373 While I'm at work. While I'm at work. 249 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:35,832 Oh, boy. Oh, boy, oh, boy. 250 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:39,294 That's what you've got to say, is "Oh, boy," and "Bravo." 251 00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:43,882 - Laura, this is just so dumb. - Look, Rob, I gotta go. 252 00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:46,301 (DIAL TONE) 253 00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,805 MAN: I'm looking for a record for my daughter for her birthday. 254 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:53,892 I Just Called to Say I Love You. Do you have it? 255 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,895 - Yeah. We have it. - Great. Great. 256 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,773 - Can I have it, then? - No. No. 257 00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,817 - You can't. - Why not? 258 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,069 It's sentimental, tacky crap. 259 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:07,072 Do we look like the kind of store that sells I Just Called to Say I Love You? 260 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,908 - Go to the mall. - What's your problem? 261 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:13,245 Do you even know your daughter? There's no way she likes that song. 262 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,664 - Oh, is she in a coma? - Oh, okay, buddy. 263 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:19,293 I didn't know it was "Pick On the Middle-Aged Square Guy" Day. 264 00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:21,295 My apologies. I'll be on my way. 265 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:22,879 Bye-bye. 266 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,884 Fuck you. 267 00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,974 Nice, Barry. Really, really nice. It was top class. 268 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,184 Rob, "Top Five Musical Crimes 269 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,770 "Perpetrated by Stevie Wonder in the '80s and '90s." Go. 270 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:42,190 Sub-question, is it, in fact, unfair 271 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,693 to criticize a formerly great artist for latter-day sins? 272 00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,195 Is it better to burn out than to fade away? 273 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,948 - Barry, I'm fucking broke, man. - He was gonna buy one record 274 00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,492 which we didn't have, and then leave and never come back. 275 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,119 That's not the point. What did he ever do to you? 276 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,537 He offended me with his terrible taste. 277 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,706 It wasn't his terrible taste. It was his daughter's. 278 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,959 Are you defending that ass-muncher? Come on, Rob. 279 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,420 You're goin' soft in your old age. Jesus. 280 00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,964 Now, all of a sudden I'm offending your golf buddy. 281 00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:08,008 I'm gonna tell you something for your own good, pal. 282 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:11,762 That's the worst fuckin' sweater I've ever seen. It's a Cosby sweater. 283 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,680 A Cosby sweater! 284 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:16,141 Did Laura let you leave the house like that? 285 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,267 (LAUGHING) 286 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:20,479 - Fuckin' asshole. - Hey, hey! 287 00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:22,481 - Will you shut up? Will you? - Break it up. 288 00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:24,900 You're a fuckin' maniac. I swear to God. If you tore this thing, 289 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,694 it's vintage, and I will fucking sock your nose. 290 00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,738 You'll pay big. 291 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,001 DICK: Are you all right? 292 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:47,506 Yeah. Look, Dick. Laura and I broke up. 293 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:51,885 She's gone. So if we ever see Barry again, you can tell him that. 294 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:55,722 Oh, of course I will, Rob. No problem. 295 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:58,475 No problem at all. 296 00:16:59,936 --> 00:17:03,021 I'll tell him next time I see him. 297 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,649 Definitely. 298 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:10,654 I've got some other stuff to tell him anyway, so it's no problem. 299 00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:15,367 I'll just tell him, you know, about Laura, 300 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:19,996 then, when I tell him the other stuff. 301 00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:22,791 Mmm. 302 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:26,920 Do you want to talk about it? 303 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,464 That kind of thing? 304 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:33,260 No. Thank you, though, Dick. 305 00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:35,137 Thank you. 306 00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,472 (SWITCH CLICKING) 307 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:57,868 Look at these. 308 00:17:57,952 --> 00:17:59,411 I used to dream I'd be surrounded 309 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,872 by exotic women's underwear forever and ever. 310 00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,874 Now I know they just save their best pairs 311 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:07,294 for the nights they know they're gonna sleep with somebody. 312 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,007 (SWITCHING ON LAMP) 313 00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:14,301 (NEEDLE SCRATCHING ON RECORD) 314 00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:16,011 (HARMONICA PLAYING) 315 00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:19,181 Hello, Laura, this is your mother. 316 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,183 Your father's angina is a little rough today. 317 00:18:21,267 --> 00:18:23,769 I thought he might like to talk to you. It's no big deal. 318 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:25,812 - I love you two. Bye-bye. - (RECORDER CLICKING OFF) 319 00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:29,191 Anyway, me and Charlie, we didn't match. 320 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,568 Marco and Charlie matched. 321 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:35,489 But me and Sarah, number four on the all-time list, we matched. 322 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:38,450 She'd just been dumped by some asshole named Michael. 323 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:41,453 I mean, Michael was such an asshole. 324 00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,789 I'd just been run over by Charlie. 325 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,874 I know exactly what you mean. 326 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,294 I mean, it's just so painful. 327 00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:52,839 And draining. I'm just gonna be by myself for awhile. 328 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,718 Me, too. Me, too. 329 00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:05,519 It made sense to pool our collective loathing for the opposite sex, 330 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,145 and while we were at it, 331 00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:10,023 we get to share a bed with somebody at the same time. 332 00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:13,151 We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. 333 00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:15,153 Only people of a certain disposition 334 00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:18,073 are frightened of being left alone for the rest of their lives at 26. 335 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,116 We were of that disposition. 336 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:23,829 - So, when she told me... - I met someone else. 337 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:31,461 - Who? - Just someone else. 338 00:19:31,546 --> 00:19:34,965 ...it was contrary to the whole spirit of our arrangement. 339 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,717 (ROB SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 340 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:43,181 - So, how come I got dumped? - (DOOR BUZZES) 341 00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:44,599 What? 342 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,232 - Hey, Dick, come on in. What is it? - Oh, um, 343 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:55,694 well, we're going to Lounge Ax, and I was just wondering, 344 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:58,655 if you wanted to come along with us. 345 00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,657 Whoa! 346 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:03,034 Um, Marie De Salle's playing. 347 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,537 You remember I told you about her today? I like her. 348 00:20:05,621 --> 00:20:10,292 She's kind of Sheryl Crow-ish, crossed with a post-Partridge Family, 349 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,794 pre-L.A. Law Susan Dey kind of thing. 350 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:16,590 - But, you know, black. - Yeah. 351 00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:20,635 So, I just wanted to know if you wanted to come along. 352 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,681 Barry thought so, too, really, but I guess it looks as if 353 00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:28,476 - you're reorganizing your records. - Reorganizing my records. 354 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:32,689 - What is it? Chronological? - No. 355 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:36,401 - Not alphabetical. - Nope. 356 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:41,740 - What? - Autobiographical. 357 00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,409 - No fucking way. - Yeah. 358 00:20:44,493 --> 00:20:46,578 I can tell you how I got from Deep Purple 359 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:48,914 to Howlin' Wolf in just 25 moves. 360 00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:50,749 Oh, my God. 361 00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:52,751 And if I want to find the song Landslide 362 00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:55,045 by Fleetwood Mac, I have to remember 363 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:59,549 that I bought it for someone in the fall of 1983 pile, 364 00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:02,928 but didn't give it to them for personal reasons. 365 00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:05,597 - That sounds... - Comforting. 366 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:07,223 - Yes. - It is. 367 00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:08,308 (PHONE RINGING) 368 00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:10,477 Hello? 369 00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:13,438 Well, shit, I can stick around, you know, man, 370 00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,815 if you want me to help out. 371 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,817 But you really shouldn't keep them piled like this 372 00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:21,154 - because it gets pressured... - Hold on. See you tomorrow. 373 00:21:21,238 --> 00:21:24,824 - Oh. Okay. I'll see you. - Okay. 374 00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,826 - (DOOR CLOSES) - Hi, Mom. 375 00:21:26,911 --> 00:21:29,496 How's the store? 376 00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:32,874 You're very lucky that Laura is doing as well as she's doing. 377 00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:36,336 Because if it wasn't for her, I don't think either of us would ever sleep. 378 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,048 She left. She's gone. 379 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,801 What? What do you mean? 380 00:21:42,885 --> 00:21:45,470 - (CHUCKLES) Where did she go? - How would I know where? 381 00:21:45,554 --> 00:21:47,847 She's gone. Girlfriend leave. 382 00:21:47,932 --> 00:21:50,934 Not say where gone. Laura move out. 383 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:54,270 - Well, call her mother. - She just called. 384 00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:58,233 She doesn't even know. Probably the last time I'll ever hear her voice. 385 00:21:58,359 --> 00:21:59,442 (SOBBING) 386 00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:03,571 (SOBBING CONTINUES) 387 00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,950 I'm all right, if that's what's upsetting you. 388 00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:10,870 - That is not what's upsetting me. - It fuckin' should be, shouldn't it? 389 00:22:10,955 --> 00:22:13,498 I knew this would happen. What are you gonna do, Rob? 390 00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,667 I'm gonna drink wine. I'm gonna watch TV and go to bed. 391 00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:17,669 - Then I'm gonna go to work. - And then what? 392 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:20,255 I'm gonna meet a girl, have children, and the next time we talk 393 00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:22,257 - I'll have it all figured out, okay? - I knew! 394 00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:25,343 - I knew it was gonna happen. - What are you getting so upset about? 395 00:22:25,428 --> 00:22:27,345 - You know why she left. - It's got nothing to do with marriage. 396 00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:31,266 - (LAUGHS) So you say. - Mom? I'm telling you, for the last time. 397 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,268 Laura didn't even want to get married. 398 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,895 She's not that kind of girl. That's not what happens now. 399 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:38,648 Oh, I don't know what happens now. 400 00:22:38,733 --> 00:22:42,027 Apart from, you meet someone, you move in, she goes! 401 00:22:42,111 --> 00:22:45,363 You meet someone, you move in, she goes! 402 00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:47,741 - Shut up, Mom. Goddamn! - (BANGS DOWN PHONE) 403 00:22:47,825 --> 00:22:50,493 That's some cold shit. 404 00:22:53,497 --> 00:22:57,917 John Dillinger was shot dead behind that theater in a hail of FBI gunfire. 405 00:22:58,002 --> 00:23:02,047 You know who tipped them off? His fuckin' girlfriend. 406 00:23:02,131 --> 00:23:04,090 He just wanted to go to the movies. 407 00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:08,887 (WOMAN SINGING INDISTINCTLY) 408 00:23:14,769 --> 00:23:17,312 Is that Peter fucking Frampton? 409 00:23:25,696 --> 00:23:31,534 (SINGING) Don't Don't hesitate 410 00:23:31,619 --> 00:23:34,871 'Cause our love 411 00:23:35,664 --> 00:23:39,209 Just won't wait 412 00:23:41,295 --> 00:23:45,465 Ooh, baby I love your way 413 00:23:47,843 --> 00:23:50,136 - DICK: Rob! - What? 414 00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:54,474 I always hated that song. 415 00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:56,518 - Yeah. - Now I kinda like it. 416 00:23:58,229 --> 00:24:00,897 - Yeah. - Yeah. 417 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:09,489 She should have done The Number Four with a Smile. 418 00:24:09,573 --> 00:24:12,992 Wasn't her record called, Number Four with a Smile? 419 00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:15,620 - That's what I said. - No, no. You said The Number Four. 420 00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:17,622 There's no "The" at the front. 421 00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:20,458 It's a reference to a Chinese meal in Toronto. 422 00:24:20,543 --> 00:24:22,460 So I think that there is a "The," 423 00:24:22,545 --> 00:24:24,921 - but I could be wrong. - You can be, 424 00:24:25,005 --> 00:24:27,090 and are wrong. 425 00:24:32,012 --> 00:24:36,474 I wanna be with you night and day 426 00:24:36,559 --> 00:24:38,768 I want to date a musician. 427 00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:42,105 I want to live with a musician. 428 00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:44,941 She'd write songs at home, and ask me what I thought of 'em, 429 00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:48,361 and maybe even include one of our private little jokes in the liner notes. 430 00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:52,657 Maybe a little picture of me in the liner notes. 431 00:24:52,741 --> 00:24:54,993 Just in the background somewhere. 432 00:24:55,077 --> 00:24:58,830 Don't hesitate 433 00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:01,040 (CHEERING) 434 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:02,333 (APPLAUSE) 435 00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:11,259 - So, uh, you live in Chicago now? - I do. 436 00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:13,928 - Do you love it? - You should come to our record store. 437 00:25:14,013 --> 00:25:16,139 - Championship Vinyl. - Oh, my God. You'd love it. 438 00:25:16,223 --> 00:25:18,600 - He owns it. It's on Milwaukee... - You'll find everything. 439 00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:22,061 - Soul, trip-hop, salsa... - Ska, techno... 440 00:25:22,146 --> 00:25:24,898 - Will you come? Championship Vinyl. - It sounds okay. 441 00:25:24,982 --> 00:25:26,941 - Enjoyed your set. - Thank you. 442 00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:29,903 Why did you tell her about the store? 443 00:25:29,987 --> 00:25:33,114 Oh, man, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was classified information. 444 00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:36,159 I know we don't have any customers, but I thought that was a bad thing, 445 00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:38,328 not a business strategy. 446 00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:52,592 (GUITAR PLAYING) 447 00:25:52,801 --> 00:25:54,719 - (ANSWERING MACHINE CLICKING) - WOMAN: Rob? 448 00:25:54,803 --> 00:25:58,723 It's Liz. Just calling to see if, 449 00:25:58,807 --> 00:26:01,601 you know, well, you're okay. 450 00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:07,357 Look, I'm your friend, too, so I'm not taking sides yet. 451 00:26:08,609 --> 00:26:11,236 Give me a call, okay? Bye. 452 00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:13,112 (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPING) 453 00:26:16,450 --> 00:26:17,825 (DOOR OPENING) 454 00:26:19,245 --> 00:26:20,703 (DOOR CLOSING) 455 00:26:41,642 --> 00:26:44,060 - Hi. - What are you doing here? 456 00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:46,813 - Took the morning off. - Come on, Rob. 457 00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:49,565 Do you still love me? 458 00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:55,405 - Well, it's not really the issue. - Why? What else is there? 459 00:26:55,489 --> 00:26:57,407 What do you mean? What else is there? 460 00:26:57,491 --> 00:26:59,200 (GROANS) I don't know! 461 00:27:00,661 --> 00:27:03,454 But it doesn't change the way we don't get along at all. 462 00:27:03,539 --> 00:27:06,624 In fact, I hope we're not in love anymore, to be honest. 463 00:27:06,709 --> 00:27:09,585 It would give me a better opinion of love right now. 464 00:27:09,670 --> 00:27:11,879 Did I beat you? Did I tell you you were a bad person? 465 00:27:11,964 --> 00:27:14,132 I mean, what the fuck? 466 00:27:14,216 --> 00:27:15,466 What should I have done to make you happy? 467 00:27:15,551 --> 00:27:18,136 Nothing. Make yourself happy. 468 00:27:18,220 --> 00:27:22,056 - Why am I not happy? - Because 469 00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:25,518 you're the same person you used to be. 470 00:27:25,602 --> 00:27:26,769 And I'm not. 471 00:27:29,398 --> 00:27:32,775 - And all I've done is changed jobs. - And clothes and hairstyles. 472 00:27:32,860 --> 00:27:35,153 - Attitudes and friends. - I couldn't go to work 473 00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:37,822 - with my hair dyed pink. - You're harder. 474 00:27:37,906 --> 00:27:40,658 You haven't changed so much as a pair of socks since I've known you. 475 00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:43,786 - Come on, Laura, you're being stupid. - You used to talk about the future. 476 00:27:43,871 --> 00:27:46,289 Now you don't even do that. 477 00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:47,915 I'm all right. You're the one that hates her job. 478 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:49,959 You haven't got a clue. 479 00:27:50,044 --> 00:27:53,171 I like my job. 480 00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:56,049 All I'm saying is, you have to allow for things to happen to people. 481 00:27:56,133 --> 00:27:58,509 Most of all, to yourself. 482 00:27:58,594 --> 00:28:01,387 You don't, Rob. 483 00:28:01,472 --> 00:28:03,431 So what's the use? 484 00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:14,192 (GUITAR PLAYS SOFTLY) 485 00:28:14,276 --> 00:28:16,861 MAN: Rob! It's your turn. 486 00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:19,489 Okay. I'm feeling kind of basic today. 487 00:28:19,573 --> 00:28:22,950 Top five side ones. Track ones. 488 00:28:23,035 --> 00:28:25,244 Janie Jones, Clash. From The Clash. 489 00:28:25,329 --> 00:28:26,329 (BARRY GROANS) 490 00:28:26,413 --> 00:28:28,706 Let's Get It On, Marvin Gaye, from Let's Get It On. 491 00:28:28,791 --> 00:28:31,209 Nirvana, Smells Like Teen Spirit, off Nevermind. 492 00:28:31,293 --> 00:28:33,544 Oh, no, Rob, that's not obvious enough. Not at all. 493 00:28:33,629 --> 00:28:37,465 How about Point ofKnow Return on Point of Know Return? 494 00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:38,674 - Shut up, shut up. - (LAUGHING) 495 00:28:38,759 --> 00:28:40,885 White Light/White Heat, Velvet Underground. 496 00:28:40,969 --> 00:28:43,012 - That would be on my list. - Not on mine. 497 00:28:43,097 --> 00:28:46,057 Massive Attack, No Protection, the song is 498 00:28:46,141 --> 00:28:49,560 - Radiation Ruling the Nation. - Oh, kind of a new record. 499 00:28:49,645 --> 00:28:51,562 - Very... In a minute. - Excuse me, I was... 500 00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:55,608 Very nice, Rob. A sly declaration of new classic status 501 00:28:55,692 --> 00:28:57,610 slipped into a list of old safe ones. 502 00:28:57,694 --> 00:29:01,072 - Very pussy! - (CHUCKLES) Excuse me, I was... 503 00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:03,741 In a minute. Couldn't you be any more obvious than that, Rob? 504 00:29:03,826 --> 00:29:06,035 How about, I don't know, The Beatles? 505 00:29:06,120 --> 00:29:08,329 How about fucking Beethoven? 506 00:29:08,414 --> 00:29:10,832 Track one, side one of the Fifth Symphony? 507 00:29:10,916 --> 00:29:14,585 How can someone who has no interest in music own a record store? 508 00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:17,797 Do you still have that Beefheart French import Safe As Milk? 509 00:29:17,881 --> 00:29:19,507 Um... 510 00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:24,554 (IN SINGSONG) Let's see. 511 00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:28,266 Ah! Yes, here it is. 512 00:29:32,312 --> 00:29:35,481 Yes. (BLOWING) 513 00:29:35,566 --> 00:29:38,526 - How much you want for it? - Uh... 514 00:29:40,779 --> 00:29:44,240 Oh, no. You know what? I don't think I'm selling it this week. 515 00:29:44,324 --> 00:29:46,701 - Maybe next week. - Oh, no. You said that last week. 516 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:49,078 Did I? Yeah, well, I just... 517 00:29:49,163 --> 00:29:51,873 I... 518 00:29:51,957 --> 00:29:53,875 Nicely played. 519 00:29:53,959 --> 00:29:56,294 You know, I don't have that record. Buy it for $40. 520 00:29:56,378 --> 00:29:59,505 - Rob? - Sold. 521 00:29:59,590 --> 00:30:01,632 Now, why would you sell it to me and not to him? 522 00:30:01,717 --> 00:30:04,302 - Because you're not a geek, Louis. - You guys are snobs. 523 00:30:04,386 --> 00:30:06,888 - No, we're not. - No, seriously. You're totally elitist. 524 00:30:06,972 --> 00:30:09,223 You feel like the unappreciated scholar, 525 00:30:09,308 --> 00:30:10,808 so you shit on the people who know less than you. 526 00:30:10,893 --> 00:30:11,893 ALL: No! 527 00:30:11,977 --> 00:30:14,687 - Which is everybody. - ALL: Yes. 528 00:30:14,771 --> 00:30:16,689 It's just sad, that's all. 529 00:30:20,736 --> 00:30:23,946 (SIGHS) I'm sick of the sight of this place. 530 00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:25,990 Some days, I'm afraid I'll go berserk. 531 00:30:26,074 --> 00:30:28,493 Throw the Country "A" through "K" rack out on the street 532 00:30:28,577 --> 00:30:31,037 and go work at a Virgin Megastore and never come back. 533 00:30:32,831 --> 00:30:34,040 (GROANS) 534 00:30:34,249 --> 00:30:35,541 (TELEPHONE RINGING) 535 00:30:35,626 --> 00:30:37,543 - Hello? - ROB: Hey, Liz. 536 00:30:37,628 --> 00:30:41,506 - Hey, Rob. - I just wanted to call and thank you 537 00:30:41,590 --> 00:30:43,508 for that message you sent me last night. 538 00:30:43,592 --> 00:30:45,801 It really made me feel like less of an asshole. 539 00:30:45,886 --> 00:30:50,973 Well. How are you holding up? 540 00:30:51,058 --> 00:30:53,351 Good, good. I mean, look. 541 00:30:53,435 --> 00:30:56,103 Maybe we're just not right for each other. Or maybe we are. 542 00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:58,731 - Mmm-hmm. Yeah. - Time will tell at this point, 543 00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:01,442 and if it's time to move on, it's time to move on. 544 00:31:01,735 --> 00:31:06,280 I don't know. I don't want to take sides. 545 00:31:06,365 --> 00:31:09,033 And I like you with Laura. I think you guys are good together. 546 00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:13,454 And I don't think much of this lan guy. 547 00:31:14,790 --> 00:31:17,875 Rob, Marie De Salle is in the store. 548 00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:23,214 I've gotta go, Liz. 549 00:31:27,261 --> 00:31:29,178 - We should maybe turn off her music. - I know. 550 00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:32,640 Hey. Like the music. 551 00:31:32,724 --> 00:31:35,309 Oh, yeah, yeah. I can go turn it off if you want. 552 00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:37,687 - You might be sick of it. - (LAUGHING) 553 00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:40,940 - You should turn it up. - Oh, right. Yeah. Okay. 554 00:31:41,024 --> 00:31:44,151 Let me go do that, after I do something else that I have to go do. 555 00:31:44,236 --> 00:31:47,780 - All righty. - Yeah, I got the... Excuse me. 556 00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:03,629 What fucking lan guy? 557 00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:07,883 Laura doesn't know anybody called lan. 558 00:32:07,968 --> 00:32:09,927 There's no lan in her office. 559 00:32:10,012 --> 00:32:11,929 She has no friends called lan! 560 00:32:12,014 --> 00:32:15,933 I'm almost certain she has never met anyone named lan in her life. 561 00:32:16,018 --> 00:32:18,352 She lives in an 562 00:32:19,813 --> 00:32:21,731 "lan-less" universe. 563 00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:31,949 "I. Raymond." 564 00:32:33,577 --> 00:32:37,038 Ray. "I." 565 00:32:37,122 --> 00:32:39,206 Ian. 566 00:32:39,291 --> 00:32:42,251 Mr. I. Raymond, "Ray" to his friends, 567 00:32:42,336 --> 00:32:44,420 and more importantly to his neighbor. 568 00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:47,673 The guy who, until about six weeks ago, lived upstairs. 569 00:32:47,758 --> 00:32:49,967 I start to remember things about him now. 570 00:32:50,052 --> 00:32:52,345 His horrible clothes and hair. 571 00:32:52,429 --> 00:32:54,347 His music, Latin and Bulgarian, 572 00:32:54,431 --> 00:32:56,557 whatever world music was trendy that week. 573 00:32:56,642 --> 00:32:58,559 He had rings on his fingers. 574 00:32:58,644 --> 00:33:00,561 Awful cooking smells. 575 00:33:00,646 --> 00:33:03,648 I never liked him much then, and I fuckin' hate him now. 576 00:33:14,618 --> 00:33:17,870 We used to listen to him having sex. 577 00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:21,916 Upstairs. 578 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,335 (MOANING) 579 00:33:24,419 --> 00:33:25,753 (BED CREAKING) 580 00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:27,421 (SPRINGS SQUEAKING) 581 00:33:28,382 --> 00:33:29,674 (GIGGLES) 582 00:33:30,926 --> 00:33:33,719 Jeez, he goes on long enough. 583 00:33:33,804 --> 00:33:38,849 (SIGHS) I should be so lucky. 584 00:33:40,060 --> 00:33:41,268 (LAUGHS) 585 00:33:45,982 --> 00:33:47,108 (CRYING) 586 00:33:52,739 --> 00:33:54,657 MAN: (SINGING) It feels so good 587 00:33:54,741 --> 00:33:57,660 ROB: You are as abandoned and noisy as any character in a porn film. 588 00:33:57,744 --> 00:34:00,204 You are lan's plaything, responding to his touch 589 00:34:00,288 --> 00:34:02,540 with shrieks of orgasmic delight. 590 00:34:02,624 --> 00:34:05,543 No woman in the history of the world is having better sex 591 00:34:05,627 --> 00:34:07,545 than the sex you are having with lan 592 00:34:07,629 --> 00:34:09,588 in my head. 593 00:34:09,673 --> 00:34:12,842 Oh, baby Give it up 594 00:34:12,926 --> 00:34:16,053 - (LAURA GROANING LOUDLY) - Ain't no use 595 00:34:16,138 --> 00:34:18,305 (SHOUTING) 596 00:34:18,724 --> 00:34:20,516 (LAUGHING BITTERLY) 597 00:34:26,356 --> 00:34:30,067 Number five. Jackie Alden. 598 00:34:30,152 --> 00:34:32,570 Jackie Alden's breakup 599 00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:34,572 had no effect on my life whatsoever. 600 00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:36,991 It was a casual thing, and I was glad when it ended. 601 00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:41,078 I just slotted her in to bump Laura out of position. 602 00:34:41,163 --> 00:34:44,915 But now, congratulations, Laura. 603 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,251 You made it to the top five. 604 00:34:47,335 --> 00:34:51,672 Number five with a bullet. Welcome. 605 00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:55,593 (SINGING) Won't somebody please 606 00:34:55,677 --> 00:34:59,472 Help me with my misery 607 00:35:03,351 --> 00:35:04,477 Can't somebody see 608 00:35:04,561 --> 00:35:07,730 Hey! Do you have Soul? 609 00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:10,816 What this one girl's done to me 610 00:35:10,901 --> 00:35:13,611 - That all depends. - (TELEPHONE RINGING) 611 00:35:14,988 --> 00:35:17,615 Back row, right next to the Blues. 612 00:35:17,699 --> 00:35:19,658 Championship Vinyl. 613 00:35:22,913 --> 00:35:25,414 Yeah. Yeah, I'm interested. Sure. 614 00:35:25,499 --> 00:35:28,250 - What's your address? - (DOOR SQUEAKING) 615 00:35:29,586 --> 00:35:31,504 ROB: Hey, Liz. 616 00:35:31,588 --> 00:35:34,840 Hey, Rob. You fucking asshole! 617 00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:36,675 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 618 00:35:39,721 --> 00:35:42,348 - LIZ: Hi, Barry. - (DOOR OPENS) 619 00:35:42,682 --> 00:35:46,227 (SINGING) Soarin' and borin' 620 00:35:46,311 --> 00:35:50,815 I feel I'm ignorin' 621 00:35:50,899 --> 00:35:55,986 My time in the world Have you heard 622 00:35:56,071 --> 00:35:58,823 For a couple of years, I was the deejay at a club. 623 00:35:58,907 --> 00:36:01,033 I was good at it, I think. 624 00:36:01,117 --> 00:36:03,661 And while I was doing it, it's the happiest I've ever been. 625 00:36:03,745 --> 00:36:05,663 And, that's where I met Laura. 626 00:36:05,747 --> 00:36:07,623 (DANCE MUSIC BLARING) 627 00:36:09,251 --> 00:36:12,002 She was already a lawyer, but she worked for Legal Aid, 628 00:36:12,087 --> 00:36:14,004 hence the leatherjacket and the clubbing. 629 00:36:14,089 --> 00:36:16,340 Oh, I liked her right away. 630 00:36:16,424 --> 00:36:19,009 - Hey! - Hey! 631 00:36:19,094 --> 00:36:21,929 That's a kick-ass record. 632 00:36:22,013 --> 00:36:24,306 - What? - That's a kick-ass record. 633 00:36:24,391 --> 00:36:27,268 Yeah, I know. 634 00:36:30,438 --> 00:36:33,357 - Um... What's your name? - Laura! 635 00:36:33,441 --> 00:36:34,942 (LAUGHING) 636 00:36:36,945 --> 00:36:40,781 Hey! I was gonna say, come back next week and I'll make you a tape. 637 00:36:40,866 --> 00:36:43,701 - All right. Thank you. - Okay? 638 00:36:43,785 --> 00:36:46,161 - Rob. - I'm still Laura. 639 00:36:47,622 --> 00:36:50,708 To be honest, I hadn't met anyone as promising as Laura 640 00:36:50,792 --> 00:36:53,627 since I started deejaying, and meeting promising women 641 00:36:53,712 --> 00:36:56,380 is kind of what the deejaying thing is supposed to be about. 642 00:36:58,466 --> 00:37:01,594 And anyway, we... We moved on from there. 643 00:37:01,678 --> 00:37:02,761 (INAUDIBLE) 644 00:37:02,846 --> 00:37:05,264 She lost her lease on her apartment in Lakeview 645 00:37:05,348 --> 00:37:07,683 and she moved in with me. 646 00:37:07,767 --> 00:37:09,685 And it stayed that way for years. 647 00:37:12,397 --> 00:37:15,566 She didn't make me miserable, or anxious, 648 00:37:15,650 --> 00:37:17,568 or ill-at-ease. 649 00:37:17,652 --> 00:37:23,449 And, you know, it sounds boring, but it wasn't. 650 00:37:23,533 --> 00:37:28,162 It wasn't spectacular, either. It was just 651 00:37:28,246 --> 00:37:30,497 good. 652 00:37:32,334 --> 00:37:34,960 But really good. 653 00:37:35,045 --> 00:37:39,006 So. How come I'm suddenly an asshole? 654 00:37:46,014 --> 00:37:50,392 I get the feeling that Liz talked to Laura. 655 00:37:50,477 --> 00:37:53,437 And Liz stuck up for me. 656 00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:56,315 And Laura told her a few things. 657 00:37:56,399 --> 00:37:58,317 I don't know what precisely Laura said, 658 00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:01,779 but she would have revealed at least two, maybe even all four 659 00:38:01,863 --> 00:38:04,239 of the following pieces of information. 660 00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:12,831 - One, that I slept with someone else... - He slept with somebody else. 661 00:38:12,916 --> 00:38:17,086 - What? ...while she, Laura, was pregnant. 662 00:38:17,170 --> 00:38:21,131 - While I was pregnant. - No! 663 00:38:21,216 --> 00:38:26,345 Two. That my affair directly contributed... 664 00:38:26,429 --> 00:38:29,181 ...pretty much directly to me terminating the pregnancy. 665 00:38:29,265 --> 00:38:31,141 (SOFTLY) No. 666 00:38:31,226 --> 00:38:34,645 Three, that after the abortion, 667 00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:36,855 I borrowed a large sum of money from her... 668 00:38:36,940 --> 00:38:38,148 ...four grand or so... 669 00:38:38,274 --> 00:38:40,734 ...and have not, as of yet, repaid any of it. 670 00:38:40,902 --> 00:38:44,738 - Bastard! - Four. 671 00:38:44,823 --> 00:38:47,658 That shortly before she left me, 672 00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:52,496 I told her that I was kind of unhappy in the relationship. 673 00:38:52,580 --> 00:38:56,875 And maybe sort of looking around for someone else. 674 00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,212 He was "sort of, maybe," looking around for somebody else. 675 00:39:00,296 --> 00:39:02,339 Did I do and say those things? 676 00:39:02,424 --> 00:39:04,633 - Yes. - No! 677 00:39:04,718 --> 00:39:06,635 Yes, I did. 678 00:39:08,263 --> 00:39:12,349 - I am a fuckin' asshole. - That's it. 679 00:39:12,434 --> 00:39:15,519 Liz. No, sit down. Sit down. 680 00:39:17,897 --> 00:39:19,898 That's shocking. 681 00:39:19,983 --> 00:39:21,942 That is shocking. 682 00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:30,200 First of all, the money. 683 00:39:30,285 --> 00:39:32,661 Laura had it, and I didn't. 684 00:39:32,746 --> 00:39:35,164 And she wanted to give it to me. 685 00:39:35,248 --> 00:39:38,042 I've never been able to pay her back 686 00:39:38,126 --> 00:39:40,502 because I've never been able to. 687 00:39:40,587 --> 00:39:43,088 Just because she moved in with some Supertramp fan 688 00:39:43,173 --> 00:39:45,466 it doesn't make me five grand richer. 689 00:39:45,550 --> 00:39:49,136 And number two, this stuff about me half-looking around for someone else, 690 00:39:49,220 --> 00:39:51,138 she tricked me into saying it. 691 00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:53,515 We were having this State-of-the-Union-type conversation, 692 00:39:53,600 --> 00:39:56,852 and she said, matter-of-factly, that we were pretty unhappy at the moment. 693 00:39:56,936 --> 00:39:59,229 And did I agree? And I said yes. 694 00:39:59,314 --> 00:40:03,484 And she asked me whether I ever thought about meeting other people. 695 00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:06,653 So, then I asked her if she ever thought about meeting someone else. 696 00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:09,323 She says, "Of course." So I admit that, yes, 697 00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:11,617 I daydream about it from time to time. 698 00:40:11,701 --> 00:40:14,119 Now, I can see what we were really talking about, 699 00:40:14,204 --> 00:40:17,581 is her and lan, and she suckered me into absolving her. 700 00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:20,250 It was a sneaky lawyer's trick. 701 00:40:20,335 --> 00:40:23,253 And I fell for it because 702 00:40:23,338 --> 00:40:25,589 she's much smarter than me. 703 00:40:29,469 --> 00:40:32,554 All right. Then the pregnancy. 704 00:40:32,639 --> 00:40:35,516 I didn't know she was pregnant. 705 00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:39,937 Of course I didn't. I didn't know because she hadn't told me. 706 00:40:40,021 --> 00:40:43,690 She hadn't told me because I had told her that I had sort... 707 00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:46,610 Yes, I'd slept with someone else, so I didn't find out she was pregnant 708 00:40:46,694 --> 00:40:48,612 till way later. 709 00:40:50,698 --> 00:40:52,116 We were going through this good period, 710 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,742 and I made some crack about having kids. 711 00:40:53,827 --> 00:40:54,827 What? 712 00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:58,163 She just burst into tears, and I said, "Well, what is it?" you know. 713 00:40:58,248 --> 00:41:00,707 And I made her tell me, and she did, 714 00:41:00,792 --> 00:41:03,836 and I went into this brief and ill-advised bout of self-righteousness. 715 00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,046 You know, "What right do you have? My child, too." 716 00:41:06,131 --> 00:41:08,423 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 717 00:41:12,637 --> 00:41:15,222 That pretty much brings us up to date. 718 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:19,393 Who needs a drink? 719 00:41:21,062 --> 00:41:22,479 (GUITAR PLAYING) 720 00:41:23,273 --> 00:41:25,399 MAN: (SINGING) Who loves the sun 721 00:41:27,068 --> 00:41:30,487 Who cares that it makes plants grow 722 00:41:32,365 --> 00:41:35,242 What's wrong with me? Seriously. 723 00:41:35,326 --> 00:41:37,870 What happened? 724 00:41:38,913 --> 00:41:42,749 Why am I doomed to be left? 725 00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:45,419 Doomed to be rejected? 726 00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:47,421 I need answers. 727 00:41:50,508 --> 00:41:54,178 Number one. Alison Ashmore. 728 00:41:54,262 --> 00:41:56,680 (RINGING) 729 00:41:56,764 --> 00:41:59,183 - Hello? Hi. - This is Rob Gordon calling. 730 00:41:59,267 --> 00:42:03,020 - I'm an old friend of Alison's. And... - What did you say your name was? 731 00:42:03,104 --> 00:42:05,355 Rob. Rob Gordon. 732 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,567 (CHUCKLES) I was actually her first boyfriend 733 00:42:08,651 --> 00:42:10,027 in the seventh grade, 734 00:42:10,111 --> 00:42:12,112 and I was just wondering if you had any way of reaching her. 735 00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:14,239 - Her number, or... - I hate to quibble with you, Rob, 736 00:42:14,324 --> 00:42:16,909 but Alison married her first boyfriend. 737 00:42:16,993 --> 00:42:20,537 Kevin Bannister. He is her first and last boyfriend. 738 00:42:20,622 --> 00:42:24,166 - You've gotta be kidding me. - No, I'm quite serious. 739 00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:28,170 She is Mrs. Kevin Bannister, and she lives in Australia. 740 00:42:28,254 --> 00:42:29,796 We went out together in the seventh grade. 741 00:42:29,881 --> 00:42:31,465 I beg your pardon. 742 00:42:31,549 --> 00:42:34,593 Well, technically, I'm her first boyfriend, okay? 743 00:42:34,677 --> 00:42:36,595 I met her a few days before Kevin did. 744 00:42:36,679 --> 00:42:37,930 Technically, number one. Me. 745 00:42:38,014 --> 00:42:41,308 I don't know what you mean by "technically." 746 00:42:41,392 --> 00:42:44,019 You know, I'm number one. Me. Technically. 747 00:42:44,103 --> 00:42:46,188 I see. Well, maybe it's my mistake. 748 00:42:46,272 --> 00:42:49,441 I've got to go now, Bob. Okay, bye-bye. 749 00:42:53,988 --> 00:42:55,322 (HANGS UP RECEIVER) 750 00:42:56,491 --> 00:43:00,744 Alison married Kevin! 751 00:43:00,828 --> 00:43:03,956 I am fine now. 752 00:43:05,083 --> 00:43:07,125 Married her junior high school sweetheart. 753 00:43:07,210 --> 00:43:11,213 Kissed me on the bench, kissed Kevin on the bench, married Kevin. 754 00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:15,050 This is great! It's got nothing to do with me. 755 00:43:15,134 --> 00:43:17,344 This is fate. This is destiny. 756 00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:21,181 It is beyond my control. Beyond my fault. I love this! 757 00:43:24,686 --> 00:43:29,106 I want more. I want to see the others on the big top five. 758 00:43:29,190 --> 00:43:31,817 I want to see Penny, and Charlie and Sarah, all of them! 759 00:43:31,901 --> 00:43:34,611 You know, just see 'em and talk to 'em. 760 00:43:34,696 --> 00:43:36,613 You know, like a Bruce Springsteen song. 761 00:43:36,698 --> 00:43:40,867 You call, you ask 'em how they are, and you see if they've forgiven you. 762 00:43:40,952 --> 00:43:44,705 Yeah, and then... And then I'd feel good. 763 00:43:44,789 --> 00:43:45,914 And they'd feel good. 764 00:43:45,999 --> 00:43:50,043 No, they'd feel good maybe, but you'd feel better. 765 00:43:52,213 --> 00:43:54,214 I'd feel clean and calm. 766 00:43:54,299 --> 00:43:57,801 That's what you're looking for. You want to get ready to start again, 767 00:43:57,885 --> 00:44:00,053 that'd be good for you. 768 00:44:00,138 --> 00:44:03,390 Great, even. 769 00:44:03,474 --> 00:44:06,727 You'd give that big final good luck and goodbye to your all-time top five, 770 00:44:06,811 --> 00:44:09,187 and just move on down the road. 771 00:44:11,482 --> 00:44:13,525 Good luck, goodbye. 772 00:44:13,609 --> 00:44:16,737 Thanks, Boss. 773 00:44:16,821 --> 00:44:17,863 (MUSIC ENDS) 774 00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:21,491 Penny is as beautiful as she was in high school 775 00:44:21,576 --> 00:44:23,493 and really grown into herself. 776 00:44:23,578 --> 00:44:26,163 She reviews movies for a living, which is unassailably cool, 777 00:44:26,247 --> 00:44:30,459 even if she does make these little notes with this little flashlight pen. 778 00:44:30,543 --> 00:44:33,170 We have a good time, and we hate the same actors, 779 00:44:33,254 --> 00:44:35,797 and everything's goin' great. 780 00:44:35,882 --> 00:44:38,383 She tells me about her life, I tell her about mine. 781 00:44:38,468 --> 00:44:40,802 We both get it. We both relate. 782 00:44:40,887 --> 00:44:45,515 And then, with no real explanation, I just launch into it. 783 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:48,143 I tell her about how Laura wanted to sleep with lan and not me. 784 00:44:48,227 --> 00:44:50,687 Charlie wanted to sleep with Marco and not me. 785 00:44:50,772 --> 00:44:53,523 Alison Ashmore wanted Kevin Bannister and not me. 786 00:44:53,608 --> 00:44:55,025 And you, you wanted to... 787 00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:58,403 You wanted to have sex with Chris Thompson and not me. 788 00:44:58,488 --> 00:45:01,656 And I was hoping you could help me understand why this keeps happening. 789 00:45:01,741 --> 00:45:05,285 Why, you know, I'm doomed to be left. Doomed to be rejected. 790 00:45:05,370 --> 00:45:07,287 Do you understand? 791 00:45:08,956 --> 00:45:13,210 Um, well, I was crazy about you. 792 00:45:13,294 --> 00:45:18,090 I wanted to sleep with you one day, but not when I was 16. 793 00:45:18,174 --> 00:45:22,344 You know, when you broke up with me, you broke up with me, 794 00:45:22,428 --> 00:45:26,264 because I was, to use your charming expression, "tight," 795 00:45:26,349 --> 00:45:29,726 I cried and I cried and I hated you, and when that little shitbag 796 00:45:29,811 --> 00:45:31,937 asked me out, and I was too tired to fight him off, 797 00:45:32,021 --> 00:45:35,273 it wasn't rape, because I said okay, but it wasn't far off! 798 00:45:35,358 --> 00:45:38,777 You know I couldn't have sex until after college because I hated it so much? 799 00:45:38,861 --> 00:45:43,740 That's when you're supposed to have sex, Rob. In college! 800 00:45:43,825 --> 00:45:46,576 And now you want to have a little chat about rejection! 801 00:45:46,661 --> 00:45:49,162 Well, fuck you, Rob! 802 00:45:50,498 --> 00:45:52,124 (JAZZ SAXOPHONE) 803 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:56,628 My God, she's right. 804 00:45:56,712 --> 00:46:00,340 I broke up with her. I rejected her. 805 00:46:00,425 --> 00:46:01,842 That's another one I don't have to worry about. 806 00:46:01,926 --> 00:46:04,094 I should have done this years ago. 807 00:46:04,178 --> 00:46:06,555 - Ma'am? Can I get the check, please? - Right away, sir. 808 00:46:08,266 --> 00:46:10,851 Next up, Charlie. 809 00:46:12,395 --> 00:46:15,105 But I'm not quite ready for that. 810 00:46:15,189 --> 00:46:18,525 So I go directly to number four on the all-time breakup list. 811 00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:22,362 Sarah, my partner in rejection, who rejected me. 812 00:46:23,573 --> 00:46:26,992 - Hi, Rob. - Hi. 813 00:46:27,076 --> 00:46:30,454 - Nice to see you. - Hi. 814 00:46:30,538 --> 00:46:33,290 - Okay. Yeah. Yeah. - Nice to see you. 815 00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:35,542 - Want me to come... - You want... Okay, let's go out. 816 00:46:37,003 --> 00:46:39,421 I can't believe I left you for him. 817 00:46:39,505 --> 00:46:41,256 Probably seemed like a good idea at the time. 818 00:46:41,340 --> 00:46:43,049 I don't know why, though. 819 00:46:47,597 --> 00:46:51,475 - Are you seeing anybody? - Um, no, yeah. 820 00:46:51,559 --> 00:46:54,978 - No? No. - Yeah. I mean, I'm in between things. 821 00:46:55,062 --> 00:46:57,647 - How are you doing? - Me? Not good. 822 00:46:57,732 --> 00:46:59,983 - Really? - No. 823 00:47:00,067 --> 00:47:03,653 Oh, it's so hard. The medication I was on is not working. 824 00:47:03,738 --> 00:47:06,239 So, we're trying something else, but it's like they don't know about it, 825 00:47:06,324 --> 00:47:08,909 so I'm like a guinea pig, and... But I'm making money. That's good. 826 00:47:08,993 --> 00:47:11,995 I lost my job a month ago. So it's been like hand to mouth... 827 00:47:12,079 --> 00:47:14,498 ROB: No, I haven't got the heart for the rejection conversation. 828 00:47:14,582 --> 00:47:15,874 There are no hard feelings, 829 00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:18,752 and I'm glad she ditched me and not the other way around. 830 00:47:18,836 --> 00:47:20,754 I'll call you. Nice to see you. 831 00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,756 - Fine. Bye. See you later. - You, too. 832 00:47:26,219 --> 00:47:29,137 (WHISPERING) I could have wound up having sex back there. 833 00:47:29,222 --> 00:47:31,431 And what better way to exorcise rejection demons 834 00:47:31,516 --> 00:47:34,059 than to screw the person who rejected you, right? 835 00:47:34,143 --> 00:47:36,186 But you wouldn't be sleeping with a person. 836 00:47:36,270 --> 00:47:38,688 You'd be sleeping with a whole, sad, single-person culture. 837 00:47:38,773 --> 00:47:40,232 It would be like sleeping with 838 00:47:40,316 --> 00:47:43,068 Talia Shire in Rocky, if you weren't Rocky. 839 00:47:43,152 --> 00:47:45,654 I feel guilty enough as it is. 840 00:47:45,738 --> 00:47:47,656 (WHISPERING) There's only Charlie left now. 841 00:47:50,952 --> 00:47:54,663 She's in the fuckin' phone book. 842 00:47:54,747 --> 00:47:56,706 She should be living on Neptune. 843 00:47:56,791 --> 00:48:00,961 She's an extraterrestrial, a ghost, a myth, not a person in a phone book. 844 00:48:03,798 --> 00:48:05,090 (LINE RINGING) 845 00:48:05,967 --> 00:48:07,217 (CLICKING) 846 00:48:07,301 --> 00:48:09,010 Hello, this is Charlie. 847 00:48:09,095 --> 00:48:11,221 Answering machine. I'll leave a nice, polite message 848 00:48:11,305 --> 00:48:13,265 and she'll never call back. 849 00:48:15,017 --> 00:48:18,520 The Killing Moon EP is almost impossible to find, especially on CD. 850 00:48:18,604 --> 00:48:19,896 Yet another cruel trick 851 00:48:19,981 --> 00:48:22,566 played on all the dumb-asses who got rid of their turntables. 852 00:48:22,650 --> 00:48:24,276 But every other Echo and the Bunnymen album... 853 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:25,610 I have all the other ones. 854 00:48:25,695 --> 00:48:27,904 Oh, you do? Well, how about The Jesus and Mary Chain? 855 00:48:27,989 --> 00:48:29,656 - They always seemed... - They always seemed what? 856 00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:31,825 They always seemed really great is what they always seemed. 857 00:48:31,909 --> 00:48:33,827 They picked up where your precious Echo left off 858 00:48:33,911 --> 00:48:35,829 and you're complaining about no more Echo albums. 859 00:48:35,913 --> 00:48:38,832 I can't believe you don't own this fucking record! That's insane! 860 00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:40,417 Jesus! 861 00:48:41,002 --> 00:48:42,586 (SOUL MUSIC) 862 00:48:42,670 --> 00:48:45,463 Well, the interesting thing about Green Day is that 863 00:48:45,548 --> 00:48:49,593 so much of their music is, in truth, directly influenced by, 864 00:48:49,677 --> 00:48:51,928 in my opinion, two bands. 865 00:48:52,013 --> 00:48:54,264 - The Clash... - The Clash! 866 00:48:54,348 --> 00:48:57,434 Uh, correct, The Clash. But also, 867 00:48:57,518 --> 00:49:00,937 by this band called Stiff Little Fingers. 868 00:49:03,566 --> 00:49:07,861 Um, I think you would really love this band. 869 00:49:09,572 --> 00:49:11,031 (MUSIC STOPS) 870 00:49:13,367 --> 00:49:15,118 (GRUNGE MUSIC PLAYING) 871 00:49:18,456 --> 00:49:20,957 It sounds great. 872 00:49:21,083 --> 00:49:23,251 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 873 00:49:23,336 --> 00:49:28,465 - My name's Anaugh. - The name's... My name's Dick. 874 00:49:28,549 --> 00:49:31,801 Is this the new Green Day? 875 00:49:33,387 --> 00:49:38,266 You don't have it? That is perverse. 876 00:49:38,351 --> 00:49:41,728 Don't tell anybody you don't own fucking Blonde on Blonde. 877 00:49:43,522 --> 00:49:47,067 It's gonna be okay. 878 00:49:50,279 --> 00:49:54,074 I will now sell five copies of The Three E.P. 's by The Beta Band. 879 00:49:54,158 --> 00:49:55,241 Good. 880 00:49:55,326 --> 00:49:56,451 (C.D. CHANGER CLICKING) 881 00:49:56,535 --> 00:49:57,786 (MUSIC STOPS) 882 00:49:57,870 --> 00:49:59,663 (DRUMS PLAYING) 883 00:49:59,747 --> 00:50:01,581 (SYNTHESIZERS PLAYING) 884 00:50:03,959 --> 00:50:07,087 (SINGING) There is something inside that you want to say 885 00:50:07,171 --> 00:50:10,090 Say it out loud It'll be okay 886 00:50:10,174 --> 00:50:16,680 I will be all right I will be all right 887 00:50:16,764 --> 00:50:19,683 There's something inside That you wanna say 888 00:50:19,809 --> 00:50:21,226 You can say it out loud It'll be okay 889 00:50:21,310 --> 00:50:23,520 - MAN: Who is that? - It's the Beta Band. 890 00:50:23,604 --> 00:50:26,439 - It's good. - I know. 891 00:50:29,694 --> 00:50:31,111 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 892 00:50:35,783 --> 00:50:38,159 - Barry! The door! - Fuck! 893 00:50:38,244 --> 00:50:40,620 ROB: Go! Go! 894 00:50:40,788 --> 00:50:43,415 (CHATTERING) 895 00:50:44,959 --> 00:50:47,836 Hey! Okay, fuckos. 896 00:50:47,920 --> 00:50:49,796 How much is this deck worth, and how much did you steal? 897 00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:52,465 Can you do the math? Barry, call the cops. 898 00:50:52,550 --> 00:50:54,467 - No! - No, hold up. Hold up. 899 00:50:58,264 --> 00:51:00,181 Ryuichi Sakamoto, 900 00:51:00,266 --> 00:51:04,602 Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Breakbeats, Serge Gainsbourg. 901 00:51:04,687 --> 00:51:06,563 What are you guys, stealing for other people? 902 00:51:06,647 --> 00:51:07,814 No, those are for us. 903 00:51:07,898 --> 00:51:09,274 You guys slamming to Joni Mitchell now? 904 00:51:09,358 --> 00:51:10,483 You're like, so bigoted. 905 00:51:10,568 --> 00:51:12,235 To look at us, and think you know what we listen to. 906 00:51:12,319 --> 00:51:13,611 I think you have more. 907 00:51:13,696 --> 00:51:16,114 God, man! 908 00:51:31,505 --> 00:51:32,589 (SIGHS) 909 00:51:35,134 --> 00:51:37,302 Hi. 910 00:51:37,386 --> 00:51:39,304 What do you want? 911 00:51:39,388 --> 00:51:42,015 I thought I could give you a ride back. 912 00:51:45,186 --> 00:51:48,271 - Are you coming home? - Yeah. 913 00:51:48,355 --> 00:51:52,358 Well, I'd like to come over to your house to pick up some things. 914 00:51:54,695 --> 00:51:56,654 My house. 915 00:52:05,498 --> 00:52:10,168 - How'd it go today? - All right. 916 00:52:10,252 --> 00:52:14,005 - Do you wanna go? - Sure. 917 00:52:26,727 --> 00:52:30,647 So, have you tackled the Great Reorganization yet? 918 00:52:30,731 --> 00:52:35,109 You bet. You can take this with you if you want. 919 00:52:35,194 --> 00:52:39,656 Look at this place, Laura, it's a dump. 920 00:52:39,740 --> 00:52:42,700 What are you making now? 60, 70 a year? 921 00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:44,953 And you were living in this shithole. 922 00:52:45,037 --> 00:52:47,747 Bet you can't even remember what you were doing here. 923 00:52:47,832 --> 00:52:50,625 I was here because I wanted to be with you. 924 00:52:50,709 --> 00:52:53,419 It had nothing to do with this place. 925 00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:56,548 So, uh, where are you staying now? 926 00:52:56,632 --> 00:52:59,801 I think you know that. 927 00:52:59,885 --> 00:53:01,886 I had to work that out for myself, though, didn't I? 928 00:53:01,971 --> 00:53:03,137 I'm sorry. 929 00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:05,890 I know I haven't been very fair. 930 00:53:05,975 --> 00:53:08,726 That's why I came to the store tonight. 931 00:53:08,811 --> 00:53:11,729 It took me a while to work up the courage. 932 00:53:11,814 --> 00:53:14,899 - You scared now? - Yes, of course I am. 933 00:53:14,984 --> 00:53:18,069 I feel terrible, Rob. You know, this is really hard. 934 00:53:18,153 --> 00:53:20,822 Good. 935 00:53:20,906 --> 00:53:25,827 So, how is everything going with lan? 936 00:53:25,911 --> 00:53:28,037 Is it working out okay? 937 00:53:28,122 --> 00:53:30,874 - You're living with the guy. - Don't. 938 00:53:30,958 --> 00:53:32,667 I'm just asking how it's going. 939 00:53:32,877 --> 00:53:35,503 Look, I'm not living with the guy, okay? 940 00:53:35,838 --> 00:53:39,173 I'm just staying with him for a few days until I figure out what I'm doing. 941 00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:44,429 I left because we weren't exactly getting along, and we weren't talking about it. 942 00:53:44,513 --> 00:53:46,389 I'm getting to a point where I want to get my shit together 943 00:53:46,515 --> 00:53:49,475 and I can't really see that ever happening with you. 944 00:53:50,269 --> 00:53:53,271 And, yes, I sort of got interested in someone else. 945 00:53:53,647 --> 00:53:55,315 And that went further than it should have, 946 00:53:55,399 --> 00:53:58,067 so it seemed like a good time to go. 947 00:53:59,820 --> 00:54:03,823 But I have no idea what will happen with lan in the long run. 948 00:54:05,659 --> 00:54:07,869 Probably nothing. 949 00:54:13,375 --> 00:54:16,085 So, what? 950 00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:19,672 You definitely haven't decided to dump me? Is that it? 951 00:54:19,965 --> 00:54:22,634 There's still a chance we might get back together? 952 00:54:22,885 --> 00:54:24,802 I don't know. 953 00:54:24,887 --> 00:54:26,888 Well, if you don't know, 954 00:54:28,974 --> 00:54:30,892 there's a chance, right? 955 00:54:34,688 --> 00:54:36,981 I mean, it would be like 956 00:54:37,066 --> 00:54:39,233 if someone was in the hospital and he was seriously ill, 957 00:54:39,318 --> 00:54:42,528 and the doctor said, "I don't know if this patient has a chance of survival," 958 00:54:42,613 --> 00:54:44,530 that doesn't mean the patient's definitely gonna die, does it? 959 00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:45,782 I mean, he might live. 960 00:54:45,866 --> 00:54:48,284 - Even if it's a remote possibility. - I suppose so. 961 00:54:48,369 --> 00:54:50,119 - So we have a chance. - Shut up, Rob. 962 00:54:50,204 --> 00:54:52,872 I just want to know, what chance do we have? 963 00:54:53,207 --> 00:54:54,457 I don't know what chance. 964 00:54:54,541 --> 00:54:56,209 If you could tell me roughly... 965 00:54:56,293 --> 00:54:57,335 (CHUCKLES) 966 00:54:57,419 --> 00:55:00,088 All right, we have a 9% chance of getting back together. 967 00:55:00,172 --> 00:55:02,465 - Nine? - Nine. 968 00:55:02,549 --> 00:55:03,633 Great. 969 00:55:03,717 --> 00:55:05,093 Look, I know I'm asking a lot, 970 00:55:05,177 --> 00:55:07,804 but could you take off for a while so I can get my stuff packed up? 971 00:55:07,888 --> 00:55:09,389 No problem. 972 00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:12,433 - You want me to leave my own house? - Yes, please. 973 00:55:16,689 --> 00:55:21,484 Laura, can I ask you one question? 974 00:55:21,568 --> 00:55:24,278 Yes. One. 975 00:55:24,363 --> 00:55:27,156 You're not gonna like it. 976 00:55:27,241 --> 00:55:29,617 Just ask it. 977 00:55:31,078 --> 00:55:32,996 Is it better? 978 00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:36,165 Is what better? Better than what? 979 00:55:36,250 --> 00:55:40,878 Well, sex, I guess. Is it better? 980 00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:43,673 (LAUGHS) Is that really what's bothering you? 981 00:55:43,757 --> 00:55:46,634 Yes. Yes, of course. 982 00:55:47,928 --> 00:55:50,263 Do you really think it would make a difference either way? 983 00:55:50,431 --> 00:55:53,641 - I don't know. - Well, the answer is, I don't know either. 984 00:55:53,726 --> 00:55:56,227 We haven't done it yet. 985 00:55:57,604 --> 00:55:59,689 Never? 986 00:55:59,773 --> 00:56:01,733 I haven't felt like it. 987 00:56:01,817 --> 00:56:04,235 Not even before, when he was living upstairs? 988 00:56:04,319 --> 00:56:07,196 No. I was living with you, remember? 989 00:56:07,281 --> 00:56:11,159 We've slept together, but we haven't made love. 990 00:56:13,287 --> 00:56:15,288 Not yet. 991 00:56:17,458 --> 00:56:19,542 - I'll tell you one thing. - What? 992 00:56:21,462 --> 00:56:24,172 Sleeping together is better. 993 00:56:25,424 --> 00:56:27,425 Sleeping together is better? 994 00:56:27,509 --> 00:56:31,054 But not the sex, because you haven't done it yet? 995 00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:33,973 - Will you please just go? - Yeah. 996 00:56:34,433 --> 00:56:39,479 (SINGING) We are the champions My friends 997 00:56:39,563 --> 00:56:42,690 Yes! Put 'em up! 998 00:56:42,775 --> 00:56:46,360 And we'll keep on fighting Till the end 999 00:56:46,445 --> 00:56:49,489 I feel good. I feel great. 1000 00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:55,078 I feel like a new man. I feel so much better, in fact, 1001 00:56:55,162 --> 00:56:57,747 that I go straight out and sleep with Marie De Salle. 1002 00:56:57,831 --> 00:57:00,083 No time for losers 1003 00:57:00,167 --> 00:57:05,171 'Cause we are the champions 1004 00:57:08,008 --> 00:57:11,594 (WHISPERING) "How could this have happened?" you ask. 1005 00:57:11,678 --> 00:57:15,765 "How does he... How does he do it?" 1006 00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:18,101 How does a regular guy like me 1007 00:57:18,185 --> 00:57:21,270 become the number one lover man in his postal district? 1008 00:57:21,355 --> 00:57:25,942 He's grumpy, he's broke, he hangs out with the musical moron twins, 1009 00:57:26,026 --> 00:57:30,279 and yet he gets to go to bed with somebody like Marie De Salle. 1010 00:57:30,364 --> 00:57:34,408 Hey. Marie. 1011 00:57:34,493 --> 00:57:36,619 - Everything go all right? - Yeah, yeah. 1012 00:57:36,703 --> 00:57:40,373 She just wanted to pick up some stuff, you know. It was no big deal. It was... 1013 00:57:40,457 --> 00:57:44,043 I hate that time. Picking-up-stuff time. 1014 00:57:44,128 --> 00:57:47,046 You know that song I play, Eartha Kitt Times Two? 1015 00:57:47,131 --> 00:57:48,214 Of course! 1016 00:57:48,298 --> 00:57:51,968 I wrote that about me and my ex dividing our record collection. 1017 00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:53,970 Great, great song. 1018 00:57:54,054 --> 00:57:56,848 A while back, Dick, Barry and I agreed 1019 00:57:56,932 --> 00:57:59,976 that what really matters is what you like 1020 00:58:00,060 --> 00:58:02,687 not what you are like. 1021 00:58:02,771 --> 00:58:05,148 Books, records, films, these things matter. 1022 00:58:05,232 --> 00:58:07,984 Call me shallow. It's the fucking truth. 1023 00:58:08,068 --> 00:58:10,903 And by this measure, I was having one of the best dates of my life. 1024 00:58:11,238 --> 00:58:13,656 - You love that show? - Yes! (LAUGHS) 1025 00:58:13,740 --> 00:58:16,534 Starring... Starring... Who starred in The Prisoner? 1026 00:58:16,618 --> 00:58:18,494 - McGoohan. - That's right! 1027 00:58:18,579 --> 00:58:22,665 And then, we talk about our exes. 1028 00:58:22,749 --> 00:58:26,127 She's dry and self-deprecating. 1029 00:58:26,211 --> 00:58:27,879 Great sense of humor about it, 1030 00:58:27,963 --> 00:58:29,672 and I can really see why her songs are so good. 1031 00:58:29,756 --> 00:58:31,174 I guess she's happy. 1032 00:58:31,258 --> 00:58:33,968 I don't speak about Laura with as much depth. 1033 00:58:34,052 --> 00:58:37,221 But it feels, even to me, like I'm being intimate. 1034 00:58:37,306 --> 00:58:40,349 I express regret, I say nice things about her, 1035 00:58:40,434 --> 00:58:45,646 and I hint at a deep ocean of melancholy just below the surface. 1036 00:58:45,731 --> 00:58:48,649 Which is all bullshit, really. 1037 00:58:48,734 --> 00:58:52,528 I've just invented a sketch of a decent, sensitive guy, 1038 00:58:52,613 --> 00:58:55,323 because I'm in the position to invent him. 1039 00:58:55,407 --> 00:58:59,493 And I guess all that charming, nervous stuff seems to work somehow, 1040 00:58:59,578 --> 00:59:03,164 because we get back to her house and 1041 00:59:05,709 --> 00:59:07,793 it just happens. 1042 00:59:12,299 --> 00:59:14,425 And then we make love. It's great. 1043 00:59:15,135 --> 00:59:17,845 And that's it. I'm not gonna go into all that other stuff. 1044 00:59:17,930 --> 00:59:20,014 You know, the who-did-what-to-whom stuff. 1045 00:59:20,098 --> 00:59:22,642 You know that song Behind Closed Doors by Charlie Rich? 1046 00:59:23,018 --> 00:59:25,770 It's one of my favorite songs. 1047 00:59:25,854 --> 00:59:27,313 I can say we had a good time. 1048 00:59:28,607 --> 00:59:30,316 I can say that. 1049 00:59:30,442 --> 00:59:32,485 Marie's a terrific woman. 1050 00:59:35,822 --> 00:59:39,242 And then, in the morning... 1051 00:59:39,326 --> 00:59:42,078 You didn't have me fooled, 1052 00:59:42,162 --> 00:59:47,541 acting all cool about, um, what's-her-name. 1053 00:59:47,626 --> 00:59:52,713 - Laura. - Laura, right, right. Laura. 1054 00:59:52,798 --> 00:59:55,675 What was yours called again? 1055 00:59:55,759 --> 00:59:59,095 It was called James. 1056 00:59:59,179 --> 01:00:01,180 - James. - James. 1057 01:00:01,265 --> 01:00:03,808 Do you miss him? 1058 01:00:05,143 --> 01:00:07,061 Yeah. 1059 01:00:07,145 --> 01:00:10,231 That's how it works, right? 1060 01:00:10,315 --> 01:00:15,236 I think it's okay if you feel horny and fucked up at the same time. 1061 01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:17,697 Why should we be denied our basic human rights, 1062 01:00:17,781 --> 01:00:19,824 just 'cause we messed up our relationships? 1063 01:00:20,784 --> 01:00:22,827 You think sex is a basic human right? 1064 01:00:22,911 --> 01:00:25,705 Hell, yeah! Yeah. (LAUGHS) 1065 01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:31,752 I'm not gonna let that asshole come between me and a fuck. 1066 01:00:34,756 --> 01:00:37,717 - Which way are you going? - That way. You? 1067 01:00:37,801 --> 01:00:41,095 - That way. - Ah, so it is. 1068 01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,562 - Talk to you. - I'll call you. 1069 01:00:49,646 --> 01:00:52,356 (LAUGHS) Right. 1070 01:00:56,111 --> 01:01:00,031 What did Laura mean last night when she said, "I haven't slept with him yet"? 1071 01:01:00,115 --> 01:01:03,284 Yet! What does "yet" mean anyway? 1072 01:01:03,368 --> 01:01:06,662 It means you're gonna do it, doesn't it? Or does it? 1073 01:01:06,747 --> 01:01:09,665 Just come on. What would it mean to you, that sentence, 1074 01:01:09,750 --> 01:01:13,169 "I haven't seen Evil Dead II yet"? 1075 01:01:13,253 --> 01:01:14,795 Well, to me it would mean that you're a liar. 1076 01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:18,674 You've seen it twice. Once with Laura, oops, and once with me and Dick. 1077 01:01:18,759 --> 01:01:19,967 We had that conversation 1078 01:01:20,052 --> 01:01:22,845 about that guy making shotgun ammo off-screen in the 14th century. 1079 01:01:22,929 --> 01:01:24,930 Right. But let's just say that I hadn't seen it. 1080 01:01:25,015 --> 01:01:27,183 And I said, "I haven't seen Evil Dead II yet." 1081 01:01:27,267 --> 01:01:28,351 What would you think? 1082 01:01:28,435 --> 01:01:32,521 I'd think that you're a cinematic idiot, and I'd feel sorry for you. 1083 01:01:32,606 --> 01:01:34,940 All right. But from that one sentence, 1084 01:01:35,025 --> 01:01:37,360 would you think that I was going to see it? 1085 01:01:37,444 --> 01:01:39,779 I'm sorry, Rob. I'm struggling here. 1086 01:01:39,863 --> 01:01:42,490 You're asking me what would I think if you told me 1087 01:01:42,574 --> 01:01:45,368 you hadn't seen a film that you have already seen. 1088 01:01:45,452 --> 01:01:47,703 Just listen to me. If I said to you... 1089 01:01:47,788 --> 01:01:50,581 "I haven't seen Evil Dead II yet," yes. 1090 01:01:50,665 --> 01:01:53,459 Would you get the impression that I really wanted to see it? 1091 01:01:53,543 --> 01:01:56,754 Oh, well, you couldn't have been desperate to see it, 1092 01:01:56,838 --> 01:01:58,756 otherwise you'd have already gone. 1093 01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:01,133 Right. I'm not gonna see that movie. 1094 01:02:04,805 --> 01:02:09,058 But the word "yet." Yeah, you know what? 1095 01:02:09,142 --> 01:02:11,894 I get the impression that you wanted to see it, 1096 01:02:11,978 --> 01:02:15,064 otherwise you'd have said you didn't want to go. 1097 01:02:15,148 --> 01:02:17,274 But in your opinion, would I definitely go? 1098 01:02:17,359 --> 01:02:19,944 How the fuck am I supposed to know? Probably. 1099 01:02:20,028 --> 01:02:22,947 - Why? - Because it's a brilliant film. 1100 01:02:23,031 --> 01:02:27,952 It's so funny and violent, and the soundtrack kicks fucking ass. 1101 01:02:29,329 --> 01:02:32,415 I never thought I'd say this, but can I go work now? 1102 01:02:32,499 --> 01:02:34,250 Look, Laura, if you don't want me to call you at work, 1103 01:02:34,334 --> 01:02:35,876 then give me your home number. 1104 01:02:35,961 --> 01:02:37,878 Oh, I forgot. You can't. 1105 01:02:38,004 --> 01:02:41,257 I'm not gonna get off this phone until you agree to meet me for a drink. 1106 01:02:41,341 --> 01:02:42,716 I'm sorry, but I don't see 1107 01:02:42,801 --> 01:02:45,636 why this has to be on your terms all the time, really. 1108 01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:48,264 Okay, okay! We'll meet, then, tonight. 1109 01:02:48,348 --> 01:02:50,850 That'd be great if you're not too busy. 1110 01:02:50,934 --> 01:02:54,270 - (DIAL TONE) - It'll be really good to see you. 1111 01:03:07,951 --> 01:03:09,869 So, how are you? 1112 01:03:09,953 --> 01:03:11,996 Have you slept with him yet? 1113 01:03:14,749 --> 01:03:16,667 Is that why you wanted to see me? 1114 01:03:16,751 --> 01:03:18,878 I guess. 1115 01:03:21,131 --> 01:03:23,257 What do you want me to say? 1116 01:03:23,341 --> 01:03:27,720 I want you to say you haven't, and I want that to be the truth. 1117 01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:32,516 I can't do that. 1118 01:03:47,199 --> 01:03:48,866 (THUNDERCLAP) 1119 01:03:57,250 --> 01:03:58,959 (PHONE RINGING) 1120 01:04:02,506 --> 01:04:03,923 (RINGING CONTINUES) 1121 01:04:10,764 --> 01:04:13,098 You must have known it would happen. 1122 01:04:13,183 --> 01:04:16,101 You couldn't have been entirely unprepared like you said. 1123 01:04:16,186 --> 01:04:18,187 I've been living with the guy. 1124 01:04:18,271 --> 01:04:20,272 We were bound to get around to it sometime. 1125 01:04:20,357 --> 01:04:21,524 (SNIFFLING) 1126 01:04:21,608 --> 01:04:25,736 Rob, are you there? What are you thinking? 1127 01:04:25,820 --> 01:04:27,071 (COUGHING) 1128 01:04:28,698 --> 01:04:31,367 We can meet for another drink if you want. 1129 01:04:31,451 --> 01:04:34,036 So I can explain it better. I owe you that much. 1130 01:04:34,120 --> 01:04:36,372 I don't have your number. 1131 01:04:36,456 --> 01:04:39,041 I don't want this to be the last conversation we have. 1132 01:04:39,125 --> 01:04:41,460 - I know what you're like. - You do, huh? 1133 01:04:41,628 --> 01:04:43,045 (DIAL TONE) 1134 01:04:47,300 --> 01:04:49,635 I need a second opinion. 1135 01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:54,723 (PHONE RINGS) 1136 01:04:54,808 --> 01:04:57,434 Hi, this is Tim. City and state, please. 1137 01:04:57,519 --> 01:05:01,146 Uh, Chicago. A residence. Mr. Ian Raymond. 1138 01:05:01,231 --> 01:05:03,482 - Please hold for that number. - May I also have that address? 1139 01:05:03,567 --> 01:05:05,025 - Certainly. - Thank you. 1140 01:05:11,157 --> 01:05:12,449 (PHONE RINGING) 1141 01:05:14,327 --> 01:05:16,870 - (SITAR PLAYING) - (RINGING CONTINUES) 1142 01:05:36,266 --> 01:05:38,017 (PHONE RINGING) 1143 01:05:39,978 --> 01:05:43,105 - Rob? - Laura, I just want to say something. 1144 01:05:43,189 --> 01:05:46,775 I think you're running, you're running from a sharp point 1145 01:05:46,860 --> 01:05:50,404 that anybody hits in any relationship, and it's just gonna happen again. 1146 01:05:50,488 --> 01:05:53,532 But it's gonna be with this guy lan, later, when you're older. 1147 01:05:53,617 --> 01:05:54,742 (SIREN WAILING) 1148 01:05:54,868 --> 01:05:57,244 With a guy with a Steven Seagal ponytail. 1149 01:05:57,329 --> 01:06:00,706 You know what I'm saying? And he doesn't love you. 1150 01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:03,417 And he doesn't understand you, not the way I will. 1151 01:06:03,501 --> 01:06:06,629 And I will even more so in the future. 1152 01:06:12,218 --> 01:06:14,345 I mean, if you want to experiment or whatever... 1153 01:06:14,429 --> 01:06:17,556 I'm not experimenting. Why don't you go experiment? 1154 01:06:17,641 --> 01:06:20,768 - IAN: Laura, are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine. 1155 01:06:20,852 --> 01:06:22,144 Is that him? 1156 01:06:22,228 --> 01:06:24,563 Look, can you call me at work? 1157 01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:26,523 I gotta go now. 1158 01:06:28,568 --> 01:06:30,819 You look upset. 1159 01:06:30,904 --> 01:06:33,614 Yeah, I'm upset, but I'm fine. 1160 01:06:33,698 --> 01:06:37,034 - Maybe I should talk to him. - No, I don't think that's a good idea. 1161 01:06:37,118 --> 01:06:39,578 Conflict resolution is my job. 1162 01:06:39,663 --> 01:06:42,289 Yeah, I know. But, lan, there's really nothing to resolve. 1163 01:06:42,374 --> 01:06:43,457 But thank you. 1164 01:06:48,588 --> 01:06:50,589 You have got to stop calling her. 1165 01:06:50,674 --> 01:06:52,675 You're really upsetting her, and him! 1166 01:06:52,759 --> 01:06:55,219 - Like I care about him. - Well, you should. 1167 01:06:55,303 --> 01:06:56,512 Why? 1168 01:06:56,596 --> 01:06:58,639 Because all you're doing is forming a little unit. 1169 01:06:58,723 --> 01:06:59,848 Them against you! 1170 01:06:59,933 --> 01:07:02,476 Before you started all this psychotic madness, 1171 01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:05,979 there was no unit, there was just three people in a mess. 1172 01:07:06,064 --> 01:07:08,732 But now they've got something in common. 1173 01:07:08,817 --> 01:07:10,943 And you don't want to make anything worse. 1174 01:07:11,027 --> 01:07:13,153 How could it get any worse than Laura with lan? 1175 01:07:13,238 --> 01:07:16,115 - Come on, Liz. - Rob, Rob, Rob. 1176 01:07:16,199 --> 01:07:17,533 Can I ask you a question? 1177 01:07:17,617 --> 01:07:19,993 And you can think about it if you want to. 1178 01:07:20,078 --> 01:07:21,995 Just what is it? 1179 01:07:22,080 --> 01:07:25,666 Why do you want Laura back so badly? 1180 01:07:30,672 --> 01:07:32,589 Rob, phone. 1181 01:07:32,674 --> 01:07:34,550 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1182 01:07:36,761 --> 01:07:40,013 Barry, that fucking pricer's busted, and I'm not the one who broke it. 1183 01:07:40,098 --> 01:07:43,726 - Hello. - WOMAN: Rob? Bonjour. Bonjour. 1184 01:07:43,810 --> 01:07:46,186 - Who is this? - (WOMAN LAUGHING) 1185 01:07:48,815 --> 01:07:50,774 Is this Charlie? 1186 01:07:51,234 --> 01:07:52,359 (LAUGHING) 1187 01:07:54,154 --> 01:07:56,280 Hi. I just got back into town. 1188 01:07:57,615 --> 01:08:01,535 Wow! Rob Gordon. The Rob Gordon. 1189 01:08:01,619 --> 01:08:03,579 So how are you doing? Huh? 1190 01:08:03,663 --> 01:08:05,706 Does it seem like millions of years ago? 1191 01:08:05,790 --> 01:08:09,168 Yeah, yeah. Like a billion, right? 1192 01:08:09,252 --> 01:08:13,172 So... God, Charlie Nicholson. How are you? 1193 01:08:13,256 --> 01:08:16,300 I mean, do you have kids and stuff like everybody else? 1194 01:08:16,384 --> 01:08:19,762 No. No, I'm too young, too single. 1195 01:08:19,846 --> 01:08:22,514 I don't know. Kids are too "time-consuming," 1196 01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:24,099 I guess, is the expression I'm looking for. 1197 01:08:24,184 --> 01:08:26,435 I'm not making this up. This is how she talks, 1198 01:08:26,519 --> 01:08:27,978 as if nobody ever had a conversation about having kids 1199 01:08:28,062 --> 01:08:29,688 in the history of the world. 1200 01:08:29,773 --> 01:08:31,064 She's incredible. 1201 01:08:31,691 --> 01:08:35,194 So, anyway, are you in or out, Rob? 1202 01:08:35,278 --> 01:08:38,197 - I'm sorry? - Well, you know, I don't know. 1203 01:08:38,281 --> 01:08:40,949 I just find these long-lost boyfriend calls a little unnerving. 1204 01:08:41,034 --> 01:08:44,620 - There's been a rash of them recently. - Is that right? 1205 01:08:44,704 --> 01:08:48,874 Yeah. Oh, remember Marco? I went out with him after you. 1206 01:08:48,958 --> 01:08:51,627 - Kind of. - Kind of, yeah. (LAUGHS) 1207 01:08:51,711 --> 01:08:54,004 Well, he called a few months ago. 1208 01:08:54,088 --> 01:08:55,464 I think he was going through one of those 1209 01:08:55,548 --> 01:08:57,549 what-does-it-all-mean kind of things. 1210 01:08:57,634 --> 01:09:00,636 He wanted to see me and "rehash the past," as they say. 1211 01:09:00,720 --> 01:09:04,181 Was I up for that? No. No. 1212 01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:07,476 So, I don't know, do all men go through that? 1213 01:09:07,560 --> 01:09:09,061 I've never heard of it before. 1214 01:09:09,145 --> 01:09:13,148 I'm sorry, Charlie, but what does "Are you in or out" mean? 1215 01:09:13,233 --> 01:09:15,818 Well, it means, are we friends or aren't we? 1216 01:09:15,902 --> 01:09:18,403 Because if we are, that's great, that's great. 1217 01:09:18,488 --> 01:09:22,324 But if we're not, I don't really want to spend time playing catch-up. 1218 01:09:22,408 --> 01:09:25,536 You know what I mean? I'm just really busy, you know? 1219 01:09:25,620 --> 01:09:27,788 Oh, yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. Of course. 1220 01:09:27,872 --> 01:09:31,333 - So, are you in or out, Rob? - I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. 1221 01:09:31,417 --> 01:09:36,004 Oh, yeah? Great. Do you want to come for a dinner party tomorrow night? 1222 01:09:43,555 --> 01:09:45,472 Can I help you? 1223 01:09:48,268 --> 01:09:49,852 Hello, Rob. 1224 01:09:49,936 --> 01:09:54,815 Remember me? Ray. Ian. 1225 01:09:54,899 --> 01:09:57,484 I thought maybe we should talk. 1226 01:09:57,610 --> 01:09:59,820 - No. - Sort things out. 1227 01:09:59,904 --> 01:10:02,656 - What needs sorting out? - Ten phone calls a night. 1228 01:10:02,740 --> 01:10:06,076 Hanging around outside my house. 1229 01:10:06,160 --> 01:10:09,997 - I've stopped all of that now. - You were there this morning. 1230 01:10:13,334 --> 01:10:16,712 Obviously, I know how special Laura is, 1231 01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:18,171 (PAGER BEEPING) 1232 01:10:18,256 --> 01:10:22,718 And I know how much pain you must be going through right now. 1233 01:10:22,802 --> 01:10:26,179 I would hate it if I lost her. 1234 01:10:26,306 --> 01:10:29,433 (CHUCKLES) Guess who? 1235 01:10:29,517 --> 01:10:32,477 But I'd like to believe that if she decided 1236 01:10:32,562 --> 01:10:35,314 that she didn't want to see me anymore, 1237 01:10:35,398 --> 01:10:37,900 that I would respect those wishes. 1238 01:10:37,984 --> 01:10:40,485 You know what I'm saying, G? 1239 01:10:40,570 --> 01:10:42,905 - Yeah. - Good. 1240 01:10:42,989 --> 01:10:45,032 So, shall we leave it at that, then? 1241 01:10:45,116 --> 01:10:47,534 I've already left it, 1242 01:10:47,619 --> 01:10:50,245 you pathetic rebound fuck! 1243 01:10:50,330 --> 01:10:53,832 Now, get your patchouli stink out of my store! 1244 01:10:53,917 --> 01:10:56,043 Move it, lard-ass! 1245 01:10:57,337 --> 01:10:59,421 Dumb motherfucker. 1246 01:10:59,505 --> 01:11:02,549 So, shall we leave it at that, then? 1247 01:11:02,634 --> 01:11:05,802 - No. - Don't! Don't! 1248 01:11:05,887 --> 01:11:07,930 - He's not worth it! - Leave town! 1249 01:11:08,014 --> 01:11:10,515 Leave the country! You little bitch! 1250 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:15,437 'Cause you'll look back at 10 phone calls a night as the golden age! 1251 01:11:15,521 --> 01:11:17,564 Get ready, motherfucker! 1252 01:11:17,649 --> 01:11:20,025 So, shall we leave it at that, then? 1253 01:11:21,861 --> 01:11:22,945 (GRUNTING) 1254 01:11:24,697 --> 01:11:26,740 - Get him! - (SHOUTING) 1255 01:11:30,036 --> 01:11:31,161 (GRUNTING) 1256 01:11:31,245 --> 01:11:32,955 (SHOUTING) 1257 01:11:36,834 --> 01:11:40,212 - Come on! - Get him, man! 1258 01:11:41,714 --> 01:11:44,925 Well, think about it, Rob. 1259 01:11:45,093 --> 01:11:47,552 Okay? 1260 01:11:55,353 --> 01:11:56,812 (DOOR CLOSES) 1261 01:12:10,034 --> 01:12:12,619 Hey, jelly bean. 1262 01:12:12,704 --> 01:12:15,914 - Charles. - (LAUGHS) 1263 01:12:15,999 --> 01:12:18,709 - How are you? - Good. How are you? 1264 01:12:18,876 --> 01:12:20,043 (CHATTERING) 1265 01:12:22,755 --> 01:12:26,216 Hey, everybody! Everybody, this is Rob. 1266 01:12:26,300 --> 01:12:28,719 Rob, this is everybody. 1267 01:12:28,803 --> 01:12:30,721 - Hi. - ALL: Hi. 1268 01:12:30,805 --> 01:12:32,180 Come on in. Make yourself at home. 1269 01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:33,515 - Is that for me? - Yeah. 1270 01:12:33,599 --> 01:12:35,350 Oh, it's a little warm. I'll put it in the fridge. 1271 01:12:35,435 --> 01:12:37,602 I think if you get a dog, you've got to raise it yourself. 1272 01:12:39,022 --> 01:12:40,355 You have to deal with a dog from day one. 1273 01:12:40,440 --> 01:12:41,606 Of course you do. 1274 01:12:41,691 --> 01:12:45,027 You're gonna take care of him, raise him. 1275 01:12:45,111 --> 01:12:47,571 - Fine, thanks. Do you want a drink? - Yeah, I would. 1276 01:12:47,655 --> 01:12:51,575 ROB: I can see now that I'm doomed to die 1277 01:12:51,659 --> 01:12:55,579 a long, slow suffocating death, and I try to figure out why. 1278 01:12:55,663 --> 01:12:58,832 Of course there's envy. Why isn't my life like this? 1279 01:12:58,916 --> 01:13:03,462 Sure, I want their money and clothes and jobs and opinions. 1280 01:13:03,546 --> 01:13:06,673 And I'd like to have advice on jet lag, but that's not it. 1281 01:13:06,758 --> 01:13:08,592 I mean, they're not bad people, and I'm not a class warrior. 1282 01:13:08,676 --> 01:13:10,052 It's something else. 1283 01:13:10,136 --> 01:13:11,928 CHARLIE: I never did. And I was very supportive. 1284 01:13:12,013 --> 01:13:13,221 ROB: Then it dawns on me. 1285 01:13:13,306 --> 01:13:15,182 It came down to me to tell him the truth. 1286 01:13:15,266 --> 01:13:16,391 Charlie's awful. 1287 01:13:16,476 --> 01:13:18,226 WOMAN: What was the truth? 1288 01:13:18,311 --> 01:13:19,603 ROB: She doesn't listen to anyone. 1289 01:13:19,687 --> 01:13:21,563 She says stupid things, 1290 01:13:21,647 --> 01:13:24,608 and she apparently has no sense of humor at all, 1291 01:13:24,692 --> 01:13:27,402 and talks shit all night long. 1292 01:13:27,487 --> 01:13:30,572 Maybe she's been like this all along. 1293 01:13:30,656 --> 01:13:33,116 - Bye, sweetheart. - Bye-bye. 1294 01:13:33,201 --> 01:13:36,411 CHARLIE: Call me tomorrow, okay? Call me. Promise to call me. 1295 01:13:36,496 --> 01:13:38,497 - Bye. - (DOOR CLOSES) 1296 01:13:38,790 --> 01:13:39,998 (SIGHS) 1297 01:13:40,500 --> 01:13:42,167 (SNAPS FINGERS) 1298 01:13:42,460 --> 01:13:44,836 How did I manage to edit all this out? 1299 01:13:45,797 --> 01:13:49,841 How had I made this girl the answer to all the world's problems? 1300 01:13:49,926 --> 01:13:52,385 - Hey, Charlie. - Hey, Rob. 1301 01:13:55,306 --> 01:13:56,473 (SIGHS) 1302 01:13:57,517 --> 01:14:00,560 So, Charlie, why'd you dump me for Marco? 1303 01:14:00,645 --> 01:14:04,439 Fuck! I knew it! I knew it! 1304 01:14:04,524 --> 01:14:08,235 I knew it! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 1305 01:14:08,319 --> 01:14:10,737 - What? - You are. You are going through 1306 01:14:10,822 --> 01:14:13,615 one of those what-does-it-all-mean things. 1307 01:14:13,699 --> 01:14:15,742 I can't believe you, Rob. 1308 01:14:15,827 --> 01:14:18,787 Yes, I am. Very much. Indeed so. 1309 01:14:18,871 --> 01:14:20,705 Oh, God. 1310 01:14:20,873 --> 01:14:22,874 - Come on. Answer the question. - (SIGHS) 1311 01:14:22,959 --> 01:14:26,461 Oh, come on, Charlie. Don't hold back. 1312 01:14:26,546 --> 01:14:28,922 You can say whatever you like. 1313 01:14:29,006 --> 01:14:31,299 Why'd you dump me for Marco? 1314 01:14:31,384 --> 01:14:37,222 Marco just seemed to be a bit more glamorous. 1315 01:14:37,348 --> 01:14:40,892 You know? More sure of himself. 1316 01:14:41,018 --> 01:14:43,603 Less hard work. 1317 01:14:45,148 --> 01:14:48,692 A little sunnier. 1318 01:14:48,776 --> 01:14:50,735 Sparkier. 1319 01:14:53,156 --> 01:14:56,741 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1320 01:14:58,870 --> 01:15:01,496 - You put that ad up? - Yeah. 1321 01:15:01,581 --> 01:15:02,873 What can you play? 1322 01:15:02,957 --> 01:15:06,793 Nothin'. What kind of stuff are you into? 1323 01:15:06,878 --> 01:15:09,212 ROCK GUY: The kind of stuff you mentioned. 1324 01:15:09,297 --> 01:15:11,923 But we want to be more experimental than that. 1325 01:15:12,008 --> 01:15:16,178 We want to retain our pop sensibilities, but, you know, go further out. 1326 01:15:16,262 --> 01:15:19,181 - That sounds great. - No gigs yet. 1327 01:15:19,265 --> 01:15:22,767 We just got together. Is Tuesday night cool for you? 1328 01:15:22,852 --> 01:15:25,353 We'll just, you know, 1329 01:15:25,438 --> 01:15:28,106 - jam. - Yeah. 1330 01:15:28,191 --> 01:15:30,609 BARRY: All right. 1331 01:15:31,986 --> 01:15:34,946 - Later. - (MUSIC CONTINUES) 1332 01:15:39,285 --> 01:15:40,702 (DOOR OPENS) 1333 01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:42,454 (DOOR CLOSES) 1334 01:15:42,538 --> 01:15:44,873 - What? - What do you mean, what? 1335 01:15:44,957 --> 01:15:47,417 You've had that poster up on the wall for, like, 17,000 years. 1336 01:15:47,501 --> 01:15:49,586 And then some guy comes in off the street. 1337 01:15:49,670 --> 01:15:51,213 You act like it's no big deal. 1338 01:15:51,297 --> 01:15:52,881 It's just a garage band. It's nothing special. 1339 01:15:52,965 --> 01:15:54,382 You don't play an instrument. 1340 01:15:54,467 --> 01:15:55,675 I can sing. 1341 01:15:55,760 --> 01:15:58,553 What, you think I'm gonna stick around here the rest of my life? 1342 01:15:58,638 --> 01:16:01,681 Hey, it's half past a monkey's ass. Let's go. 1343 01:16:01,766 --> 01:16:05,727 I can't meet you guys at the club tonight. 1344 01:16:05,811 --> 01:16:07,270 Why? 1345 01:16:08,606 --> 01:16:11,274 - Who are you going to see? - Nobody. 1346 01:16:11,359 --> 01:16:15,237 Rob! Lookie, lookie! Dick, are you getting some? 1347 01:16:16,781 --> 01:16:18,990 (LAUGHS) Un-fucking-believable! 1348 01:16:19,116 --> 01:16:21,618 Dick's got a hot date! How did this happen? 1349 01:16:21,702 --> 01:16:23,536 What rational explanation can there possibly be? 1350 01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:24,913 What's her name? 1351 01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:28,124 - Anaugh. - Anaugh? Anaugh Conda? 1352 01:16:28,209 --> 01:16:31,169 - Anaugh Moss. - (LAUGHS) Anaugh Moss? 1353 01:16:31,254 --> 01:16:34,297 Is she all green and fuzzy and mossy? 1354 01:16:34,382 --> 01:16:36,883 And you met this bruiser where, exactly? 1355 01:16:36,968 --> 01:16:40,053 The home for the mentally challenged or the blind or the bus station? 1356 01:16:40,137 --> 01:16:44,015 Um, here. She asked me about the new Green Day album, and... 1357 01:16:44,100 --> 01:16:47,018 Oh, man! Finally! Anaugh. 1358 01:16:47,103 --> 01:16:50,730 That's great, Dick! Really smoke that ass. 1359 01:16:50,815 --> 01:16:52,732 Listen, Rob, I can't go to the club, either. 1360 01:16:52,817 --> 01:16:55,110 I gotta get some lyrics down on paper. 1361 01:16:55,194 --> 01:17:00,240 Oh, yeah, me, too. Well, not lyrics to get down. 1362 01:17:00,324 --> 01:17:04,995 But, um... So, I'll see you tomorrow. 1363 01:17:11,711 --> 01:17:13,003 (DOOR CLOSES) 1364 01:17:48,873 --> 01:17:51,541 - Hi, Laura. - "Top five dream jobs." 1365 01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:53,418 - Hey, that's private. - "Number one, 1366 01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:58,256 "journalist for Rolling Stone magazine, 1976 to 1979. 1367 01:17:58,341 --> 01:18:01,926 "Get to meet the Clash, Chrissie Hynde, Sex Pistols, David Byrne. 1368 01:18:02,011 --> 01:18:03,845 "Get tons of free records. 1369 01:18:03,929 --> 01:18:05,388 "Number two, 1370 01:18:05,473 --> 01:18:09,809 "Producer, Atlantic Records, 1964 to 1971. 1371 01:18:09,894 --> 01:18:12,604 "Get to meet Aretha, Wilson Pickett, Solomon Burke." 1372 01:18:12,688 --> 01:18:14,022 - More free records. - "More free records 1373 01:18:14,106 --> 01:18:15,565 "and a shitload of money. 1374 01:18:15,649 --> 01:18:19,361 - "Number three, any kind of musician." - Besides classical or rap. 1375 01:18:19,445 --> 01:18:21,154 "Settle for being one of the Memphis Horns or something." 1376 01:18:21,238 --> 01:18:22,364 Sure. 1377 01:18:22,448 --> 01:18:26,034 "I'm not asking to be Jagger or Hendrix or Otis Redding. 1378 01:18:26,118 --> 01:18:28,036 "Number four, film director." 1379 01:18:28,120 --> 01:18:30,580 Any kind except German or silent. 1380 01:18:30,664 --> 01:18:33,625 And number five, we have "architect." 1381 01:18:33,709 --> 01:18:36,544 - Yeah. - Seven years' training. 1382 01:18:36,629 --> 01:18:38,713 I'm not sure I even want to be an architect. 1383 01:18:38,798 --> 01:18:39,923 So you've got a list here 1384 01:18:40,007 --> 01:18:42,550 of five things you'd do if qualifications, 1385 01:18:42,635 --> 01:18:45,053 and time and history and salary were no object? 1386 01:18:45,137 --> 01:18:47,722 One of them you don't really want to do anyway. 1387 01:18:47,807 --> 01:18:49,516 Well, I did put it at number five. 1388 01:18:49,600 --> 01:18:52,060 Wouldn't you rather own your own record store than be an architect? 1389 01:18:52,144 --> 01:18:54,646 - Yeah, I suppose. - And you wouldn't want to be 1390 01:18:54,730 --> 01:18:58,191 a 16th-century explorer or the king of France? 1391 01:18:58,275 --> 01:19:00,693 - God, no. - All right. There you go, then. 1392 01:19:00,778 --> 01:19:04,072 Dream job number five, record store owner. 1393 01:19:12,540 --> 01:19:15,959 I find it interesting that you keep showing up here, Laura. 1394 01:19:16,043 --> 01:19:18,586 Well, this is the last of it. 1395 01:19:18,671 --> 01:19:22,507 Those bags look heavy. Where's lan? 1396 01:19:22,591 --> 01:19:24,259 Or Ray or... 1397 01:19:25,511 --> 01:19:27,470 What is his fucking name anyway? 1398 01:19:27,555 --> 01:19:29,681 - What do you call him? Ian or Ray? - Ray. 1399 01:19:29,765 --> 01:19:32,225 - I hate lan. - I hate him, too. 1400 01:19:33,394 --> 01:19:36,855 Yeah, I'm sure. 1401 01:19:36,939 --> 01:19:38,857 See ya. 1402 01:19:40,234 --> 01:19:42,193 Goodbye. 1403 01:19:52,538 --> 01:19:55,540 Top five thing I miss about Laura. 1404 01:19:55,624 --> 01:19:59,252 One, sense of humor. Very dry, but it can also be warm and forgiving. 1405 01:19:59,336 --> 01:20:02,964 And she's got one of the best all-time laughs in the history of all-time laughs. 1406 01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:05,467 She laughs with her entire body. 1407 01:20:05,551 --> 01:20:08,261 Two, she's got character. 1408 01:20:08,345 --> 01:20:11,639 Or at least she had character before the lan nightmare. 1409 01:20:11,724 --> 01:20:13,433 She's loyal and honest, 1410 01:20:13,517 --> 01:20:16,394 and she doesn't even take it out on people when she's having a bad day. 1411 01:20:16,479 --> 01:20:18,730 That's character. 1412 01:20:19,023 --> 01:20:20,190 Three, 1413 01:20:24,487 --> 01:20:27,238 I miss her smell 1414 01:20:27,323 --> 01:20:30,241 and the way she tastes. 1415 01:20:30,326 --> 01:20:33,411 It's a mystery of human chemistry, and I don't understand it. 1416 01:20:33,496 --> 01:20:38,750 Some people, as far as your senses are concerned, just feel like home. 1417 01:20:43,380 --> 01:20:46,299 I really dig how she walks around. 1418 01:20:46,383 --> 01:20:49,427 It's like she doesn't care how she looks or what she projects. 1419 01:20:49,512 --> 01:20:54,224 And it's not that she doesn't care, it's just, she's not affected, I guess. 1420 01:20:54,308 --> 01:20:56,601 And that gives her grace. 1421 01:20:56,685 --> 01:21:00,063 And five, she does this thing in bed when she can't get to sleep. 1422 01:21:00,147 --> 01:21:01,481 She kind of half-moans 1423 01:21:01,565 --> 01:21:03,858 and then rubs her feet together an equal number of times. 1424 01:21:03,943 --> 01:21:05,610 It just kills me. 1425 01:21:06,779 --> 01:21:10,114 Believe me, I could do a top five things about her that drive me crazy, 1426 01:21:10,199 --> 01:21:13,493 but it's just your garden-variety women, you know, schizo stuff, 1427 01:21:13,577 --> 01:21:16,454 and that's the kind of thinking that got me here. 1428 01:21:20,960 --> 01:21:23,711 Ah! Damn! 1429 01:21:23,796 --> 01:21:27,340 - You maggots! - Whoa, whoa! Toss it, man! 1430 01:21:27,424 --> 01:21:30,176 - You're pretty when you're angry. - Shit! 1431 01:21:30,261 --> 01:21:33,471 (HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1432 01:21:33,556 --> 01:21:36,057 Hey, Rob, Laura called. 1433 01:21:36,141 --> 01:21:38,059 Really? 1434 01:21:38,143 --> 01:21:41,104 (SINGING) What you gonna do 1435 01:21:41,188 --> 01:21:45,858 The man's gone out to get you 1436 01:21:45,943 --> 01:21:49,070 How you gonna look 1437 01:21:49,154 --> 01:21:52,073 - What is this? - It's Vince and Justin. 1438 01:21:52,157 --> 01:21:54,993 - Who's Vince and Justin? - Those little skate fuckers. 1439 01:21:55,077 --> 01:21:57,370 - No way. - Way. 1440 01:21:58,664 --> 01:21:59,998 It's really... 1441 01:22:00,082 --> 01:22:01,708 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 1442 01:22:01,792 --> 01:22:04,794 It's really fuckin' good. 1443 01:22:09,049 --> 01:22:10,675 Hey, do you guys know Vince and Justin, 1444 01:22:10,759 --> 01:22:11,968 the guys that come in my store? 1445 01:22:12,052 --> 01:22:14,262 - Yeah, they're right over there, man. - Thanks. 1446 01:22:14,513 --> 01:22:18,600 - Quit smoking. I'm telling you... - Hey! Your tape. 1447 01:22:18,684 --> 01:22:21,603 - It's good. - I know. We made it. 1448 01:22:21,687 --> 01:22:23,771 - Thank you. - I mean, it's rough, but, unbelievably, 1449 01:22:23,856 --> 01:22:25,148 it shows promise. 1450 01:22:25,232 --> 01:22:28,026 I'll put out your record. 1451 01:22:28,110 --> 01:22:31,779 Any profits we split down the middle after I recoup expenses, okay? 1452 01:22:31,864 --> 01:22:33,406 VINCE: Recoup expenses? 1453 01:22:33,490 --> 01:22:36,326 Man, you're gonna recoup a big, fat Mercedes, is what you're gonna do. 1454 01:22:36,410 --> 01:22:38,953 - We're not there yet, Justin. - I'm Vince. 1455 01:22:39,038 --> 01:22:41,414 Whatever. What's the name of your band? 1456 01:22:41,498 --> 01:22:43,833 - Uh, the Kinky Wizards. - Nice. 1457 01:22:43,917 --> 01:22:45,877 What's the name of your label? 1458 01:22:45,961 --> 01:22:48,129 Top Five Records. 1459 01:22:48,213 --> 01:22:49,505 What was that? 1460 01:22:49,590 --> 01:22:51,633 You just told them you're gonna put out a record with them? 1461 01:22:51,717 --> 01:22:53,635 Yeah. So what? You said yourself those guys are good. 1462 01:22:53,719 --> 01:22:55,136 What are you getting hot about? 1463 01:22:55,220 --> 01:22:56,971 Well, it just seems that you think it would be wiser 1464 01:22:57,056 --> 01:22:59,140 to start a record label by putting out a record 1465 01:22:59,224 --> 01:23:01,476 with business-crippling Nazi youth shoplifters, 1466 01:23:01,602 --> 01:23:04,854 than someone you know in your bitter, jealous heart is a musical visionary. 1467 01:23:04,938 --> 01:23:06,272 What do your songs sound like? 1468 01:23:06,357 --> 01:23:08,983 Sex Pistols? Nirvana? Pop Abrams and the Smurfs? 1469 01:23:09,068 --> 01:23:10,818 You wouldn't be familiar with our immediate influences. 1470 01:23:10,903 --> 01:23:12,320 - Try me. - They're mostly German. 1471 01:23:12,404 --> 01:23:14,614 Kraftwerk? Falco? Hasselhoff? 1472 01:23:14,698 --> 01:23:17,116 Hey. You called? 1473 01:23:17,910 --> 01:23:19,327 (SPUTTERING) 1474 01:23:19,745 --> 01:23:21,663 Fuckin' asshole. 1475 01:23:23,791 --> 01:23:25,750 - Laura, are you all right? - (SOBBING) 1476 01:23:25,834 --> 01:23:29,629 My dad, my dad died. 1477 01:23:39,848 --> 01:23:43,226 - What's up? - Laura's dad died. 1478 01:23:43,769 --> 01:23:45,728 Oh, drag. 1479 01:23:47,606 --> 01:23:49,565 I'm sorry, Rob. 1480 01:23:51,610 --> 01:23:55,530 Hey, top five songs about death. 1481 01:23:55,614 --> 01:23:58,658 A Laura's dad tribute list. 1482 01:23:58,742 --> 01:24:02,328 Okay? Okay. 1483 01:24:02,413 --> 01:24:04,747 Leader Of The Pack. 1484 01:24:04,832 --> 01:24:09,001 The guy fuckin' beefs it on his motorcycle and dies, right? 1485 01:24:09,086 --> 01:24:11,170 Dead Man's Curve. Jan and Dean. 1486 01:24:11,255 --> 01:24:12,922 Do you know that right after they recorded that song, 1487 01:24:13,006 --> 01:24:14,590 Jan himself crashed his... 1488 01:24:14,675 --> 01:24:16,592 - It was Dean, you fuckin' idiot. - It was Jan. 1489 01:24:16,677 --> 01:24:19,137 - It was a long time after the... - Okay, whatever. 1490 01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:22,306 Tell Laura I Love Her. That would bring the house down. 1491 01:24:22,391 --> 01:24:24,642 - Laura's mom could sing it. - (PHONE RINGING) 1492 01:24:24,935 --> 01:24:26,978 - You know what I'd want? - Huh? 1493 01:24:27,146 --> 01:24:29,522 One Step Beyond by Madness. 1494 01:24:29,606 --> 01:24:32,442 No, no, no, no, no. When are you going home? 1495 01:24:32,526 --> 01:24:35,778 In a minute, when I get it together. 1496 01:24:35,863 --> 01:24:38,948 And You Can't Always Get What You Want. 1497 01:24:39,032 --> 01:24:41,826 Immediate disqualification because of its involvement with The Big Chill. 1498 01:24:41,910 --> 01:24:44,579 Oh, God, you're right. 1499 01:24:44,663 --> 01:24:47,081 Um, Mom wants you to come to the funeral. 1500 01:24:47,166 --> 01:24:51,669 - Oh. Me? - Yes. My dad really liked you. 1501 01:24:51,754 --> 01:24:55,089 And Mom never told him we'd split, because he wasn't up to it. 1502 01:24:55,174 --> 01:24:57,759 Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald. Gordon Lightfoot. 1503 01:24:57,843 --> 01:24:59,802 Bastard. That's so good, that should have been mine. 1504 01:24:59,887 --> 01:25:02,597 Do you want me there? 1505 01:25:02,681 --> 01:25:05,600 I don't care, as long as you don't expect me to hold your hand. 1506 01:25:05,684 --> 01:25:08,019 - Is Ray going? - No! 1507 01:25:11,273 --> 01:25:14,066 (SINGING) The night Laura's daddy died 1508 01:25:14,193 --> 01:25:17,528 Sha-na-na, na-na-na na-na-na-na-na 1509 01:25:17,696 --> 01:25:19,572 Brother, what a night it really was 1510 01:25:19,656 --> 01:25:22,074 Mother, what a night it really... Angina's tough 1511 01:25:22,159 --> 01:25:24,452 Glory be 1512 01:25:24,536 --> 01:25:26,579 Brother, what a night it really was 1513 01:25:26,663 --> 01:25:28,664 Brother, what a night Angina's tough 1514 01:25:28,749 --> 01:25:29,791 (SCREAMING) 1515 01:25:29,875 --> 01:25:30,875 (ORGAN PLAYING) 1516 01:25:30,959 --> 01:25:34,420 Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. 1517 01:25:34,505 --> 01:25:38,299 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, 1518 01:25:38,383 --> 01:25:41,302 - on Earth as it is in heaven. - Songs at my funeral, 1519 01:25:41,386 --> 01:25:45,431 Many Rivers To Cross by Jimmy Cliff, Angel by Aretha Franklin, 1520 01:25:45,516 --> 01:25:47,141 and I've always had this fantasy 1521 01:25:47,226 --> 01:25:49,936 that some beautiful, tearful woman will insist on 1522 01:25:50,020 --> 01:25:53,606 You're The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me by Gladys Knight. 1523 01:25:53,690 --> 01:25:57,401 - But who would that woman be? - Amen. 1524 01:26:05,118 --> 01:26:06,410 (LAURA SOBBING) 1525 01:26:09,540 --> 01:26:11,249 (SOBBING CONTINUES) 1526 01:26:29,768 --> 01:26:31,686 - Hey, Jo. - Hi, Liz. 1527 01:26:31,770 --> 01:26:33,729 Hey. How are you doing? 1528 01:26:33,814 --> 01:26:37,149 I'm all right, I suppose. Mom's not too bad. 1529 01:26:37,234 --> 01:26:39,610 But Laura, I don't know. 1530 01:26:39,736 --> 01:26:44,198 Yeah, well, she's had a rough time of it already, without this. 1531 01:26:44,283 --> 01:26:47,994 It's just so hard when you put all of your efforts into one area of your life 1532 01:26:48,078 --> 01:26:50,037 and it doesn't work out. 1533 01:26:51,498 --> 01:26:52,623 Don't mind me, really. 1534 01:26:52,708 --> 01:26:55,960 Just pretend like you're talking about someone else. It's okay. 1535 01:26:56,044 --> 01:26:59,463 Well, in fact, we are talking about someone else. 1536 01:26:59,548 --> 01:27:01,382 We're talking about Laura. 1537 01:27:01,466 --> 01:27:03,301 - Oh. - Oh? 1538 01:27:03,427 --> 01:27:06,345 Don't fuckin' say "oh" like that to me, Liz. 1539 01:27:06,430 --> 01:27:09,765 I'm really sorry, Jo. Look, I can either stick up for myself, 1540 01:27:09,850 --> 01:27:12,935 or I can believe everything you say about me and end up hating myself. 1541 01:27:13,020 --> 01:27:15,354 But that's not much of a life, is it? Huh? 1542 01:27:15,439 --> 01:27:18,274 Do you think this is really the time to be talking about... 1543 01:27:18,358 --> 01:27:21,444 Just because it's never the time, Liz? I can't go on apologizing my whole life. 1544 01:27:21,528 --> 01:27:24,238 I think just the once would do! 1545 01:27:29,286 --> 01:27:32,204 - I'm very sorry, Laura. - Thanks for coming. 1546 01:27:32,289 --> 01:27:35,082 I'm so sorry, Laura. 1547 01:27:35,167 --> 01:27:38,210 LAURA: Thank you. I appreciate that. 1548 01:27:38,295 --> 01:27:42,924 Laura, I'm sorry. 1549 01:28:01,693 --> 01:28:04,320 (SINGING) Most ofthe time 1550 01:28:04,404 --> 01:28:07,949 I'm clear-focused all around 1551 01:28:08,033 --> 01:28:11,160 Most of the time 1552 01:28:11,244 --> 01:28:14,497 I can keep both feet on the ground 1553 01:28:15,999 --> 01:28:18,834 I can follow the path 1554 01:28:18,919 --> 01:28:22,338 I can read the signs 1555 01:28:22,422 --> 01:28:26,884 Stay right with it When the road unwinds 1556 01:28:26,969 --> 01:28:30,346 I can handle whatever 1557 01:28:30,430 --> 01:28:33,683 I stumble upon 1558 01:28:33,767 --> 01:28:37,687 I don't even notice 1559 01:28:37,771 --> 01:28:39,230 She's gone 1560 01:28:39,314 --> 01:28:41,524 I can see now I never really committed to Laura. 1561 01:28:42,985 --> 01:28:45,653 I always had one foot out the door 1562 01:28:45,737 --> 01:28:48,948 and that prevented me from doing a lot of things. 1563 01:28:49,032 --> 01:28:52,284 Like thinking about my future. 1564 01:28:52,369 --> 01:28:56,038 I guess it made more sense to commit to nothing. 1565 01:28:56,123 --> 01:28:58,082 Keep my options open. 1566 01:28:59,918 --> 01:29:02,837 And that's suicide. 1567 01:29:04,589 --> 01:29:07,800 By tiny, tiny increments. 1568 01:29:07,884 --> 01:29:11,429 I can make it all match up 1569 01:29:11,513 --> 01:29:14,223 I can hold my own 1570 01:29:14,307 --> 01:29:17,351 I can deal with the situation 1571 01:29:17,477 --> 01:29:19,645 Right down to the bone 1572 01:29:19,730 --> 01:29:23,190 I can survive 1573 01:29:23,275 --> 01:29:25,776 And I can endure 1574 01:29:25,861 --> 01:29:29,613 And I don't even think 1575 01:29:29,698 --> 01:29:30,698 (GRUNTS) 1576 01:29:30,782 --> 01:29:32,616 About her 1577 01:29:32,701 --> 01:29:34,994 Most of the time 1578 01:29:37,456 --> 01:29:41,208 Are you gonna lie in that flower bed all night? 1579 01:29:45,964 --> 01:29:47,882 No. 1580 01:29:47,966 --> 01:29:50,676 - You're soaking. - Yeah. 1581 01:29:50,761 --> 01:29:52,553 You're also an idiot. 1582 01:29:55,724 --> 01:29:57,725 Look, Laura, I'm really sorry. 1583 01:29:57,809 --> 01:30:00,061 Thank you. I appreciate it. 1584 01:30:00,145 --> 01:30:01,645 Why don't you just get back, 1585 01:30:01,730 --> 01:30:03,481 and I'm just gonna wait here for the bus. 1586 01:30:03,565 --> 01:30:04,899 No, I don't want to be there. 1587 01:30:04,983 --> 01:30:07,693 When I saw you leave, I used it as an excuse to get out. 1588 01:30:10,363 --> 01:30:12,281 Is there anything I can do? 1589 01:30:12,365 --> 01:30:14,658 - Come on. - Where? 1590 01:30:14,743 --> 01:30:17,369 I'll show you. Let's go. 1591 01:30:18,246 --> 01:30:19,914 Right. 1592 01:30:32,803 --> 01:30:36,555 Dad used to bring us here when we were kids. 1593 01:30:39,434 --> 01:30:43,020 Listen, Rob, would you have sex with me? 1594 01:30:46,066 --> 01:30:49,360 'Cause I want to feel something else than this. 1595 01:30:49,444 --> 01:30:53,781 It's either that, or I go home and put my hand in the fire. 1596 01:30:55,283 --> 01:30:59,495 Unless you want to stub cigarettes out on my arm. 1597 01:30:59,579 --> 01:31:03,958 No. I only have a few left. I've been saving them for later. 1598 01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:08,087 Right. It'll have to be sex, then. 1599 01:31:08,171 --> 01:31:10,339 Right. Right. 1600 01:31:11,883 --> 01:31:15,803 I knew there was a reason I wore a skirt today. 1601 01:31:15,887 --> 01:31:19,932 - Just stay there. - Okay. 1602 01:31:35,240 --> 01:31:37,533 - Hi. - Hi. 1603 01:31:37,617 --> 01:31:42,163 It doesn't seem so long ago that I looked at you from here. 1604 01:32:08,773 --> 01:32:10,107 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1605 01:32:19,242 --> 01:32:21,785 Hey, go be with your mom. 1606 01:32:22,954 --> 01:32:25,080 I'm too tired. 1607 01:32:25,165 --> 01:32:28,459 I'm too tired not to be with you. 1608 01:32:34,466 --> 01:32:37,218 So if you had a bit more energy, we'd stay split up? 1609 01:32:37,302 --> 01:32:39,762 But things being as they are, you being wiped out and all, 1610 01:32:39,846 --> 01:32:41,805 you wanna get back together? 1611 01:32:41,890 --> 01:32:44,892 - Is that it? - Yeah. 1612 01:32:49,022 --> 01:32:51,148 Mmm. What about lan? 1613 01:32:52,901 --> 01:32:55,486 Well, Ray's a disaster. 1614 01:32:56,655 --> 01:32:58,697 Look. 1615 01:32:58,782 --> 01:33:02,576 I know it's not very romantic, Rob. 1616 01:33:02,661 --> 01:33:05,412 But there will be romance again at some stage, I'm sure. 1617 01:33:05,497 --> 01:33:09,250 - I just... - So, that's it? 1618 01:33:09,334 --> 01:33:13,295 Well, you've made it clear you want me back, so... 1619 01:33:13,380 --> 01:33:17,091 Look, um, we can talk about it later if you want to. 1620 01:33:17,175 --> 01:33:20,219 Right now, I just... 1621 01:33:22,681 --> 01:33:26,016 Right now, I just want to go home with you. 1622 01:33:27,852 --> 01:33:29,770 Okay. 1623 01:33:29,854 --> 01:33:32,856 So, yeah. 1624 01:33:47,163 --> 01:33:51,208 And so we got back together, and it was great. 1625 01:33:51,293 --> 01:33:54,211 She moved all her stuff back in, all at once. 1626 01:33:54,296 --> 01:33:56,505 When did you decide to get back with me, exactly? 1627 01:33:56,589 --> 01:33:58,632 I'm not telling you. 1628 01:33:58,717 --> 01:34:02,219 See, that's not a nice way to play. 1629 01:34:02,387 --> 01:34:05,556 We went out to dinner every night. 1630 01:34:05,724 --> 01:34:07,808 - (LAUGHING) - MAN: What else? 1631 01:34:07,892 --> 01:34:11,395 We stayed in and made love all the time. 1632 01:34:11,479 --> 01:34:14,440 We talked about the future. 1633 01:34:14,524 --> 01:34:17,568 Important stuff. Issues. 1634 01:34:17,652 --> 01:34:20,487 How can you like Art Garfunkel and Marvin Gaye? 1635 01:34:20,572 --> 01:34:23,490 That's like saying you support the Israelis and the Palestinians. 1636 01:34:23,575 --> 01:34:25,826 No, it's not like saying that at all, actually, Rob. 1637 01:34:25,910 --> 01:34:27,995 Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel make pop records. 1638 01:34:28,079 --> 01:34:30,372 Made. Made. Marvin Gaye's dead. His father shot him. 1639 01:34:30,457 --> 01:34:35,836 You could say it was everything I ever wanted, really. 1640 01:34:35,920 --> 01:34:37,963 - Marvin Gaye! Let's Get It On. - I know. 1641 01:34:38,048 --> 01:34:39,256 That's our song! 1642 01:34:39,341 --> 01:34:41,175 Marvin Gaye is responsible for our entire relationship. 1643 01:34:41,259 --> 01:34:43,594 Oh, is that so? I'd like a word with him, then. 1644 01:34:43,678 --> 01:34:47,014 It was everything I ever wanted. 1645 01:34:47,098 --> 01:34:50,100 Except, for some fucking reason, 1646 01:34:52,437 --> 01:34:54,396 this... 1647 01:34:56,566 --> 01:34:58,275 (WOMAN SINGING IN FRENCH) 1648 01:35:02,155 --> 01:35:05,657 Excuse me. Is this Stereolab? 1649 01:35:05,742 --> 01:35:07,868 Yeah. Yeah, it is. 1650 01:35:07,952 --> 01:35:10,704 I haven't heard this one. It's really good. 1651 01:35:10,789 --> 01:35:12,831 Yeah, I know. 1652 01:35:12,916 --> 01:35:14,917 Are you Bob? 1653 01:35:15,043 --> 01:35:17,044 Rob. 1654 01:35:17,128 --> 01:35:20,047 Oh, right. Yeah, Rob. You used to deejay. 1655 01:35:20,131 --> 01:35:23,217 I used to go to the Double Door to hear you spin. 1656 01:35:23,301 --> 01:35:27,179 - You were unbelievable. - (CHUCKLES) Really? Well... 1657 01:35:28,098 --> 01:35:31,100 - I'm Caroline. - Hi. 1658 01:35:31,184 --> 01:35:32,559 - (PHONE RINGING) - What do you do? 1659 01:35:32,644 --> 01:35:34,603 I work for The Reader. I write a music column. 1660 01:35:34,687 --> 01:35:38,273 You're Caroline Fortis? I read your column. 1661 01:35:38,358 --> 01:35:39,650 - It's great. - Thanks. 1662 01:35:39,734 --> 01:35:40,901 You really know what you're talking about. 1663 01:35:40,985 --> 01:35:43,070 - BARRY: Rob, phone. - Can you take a message? 1664 01:35:43,154 --> 01:35:45,239 It's your girlfriend. 1665 01:35:47,909 --> 01:35:49,827 Excuse me. 1666 01:35:56,209 --> 01:35:57,376 Hey. 1667 01:35:57,836 --> 01:36:00,045 (TRAIN PASSING OVERHEAD) 1668 01:36:09,389 --> 01:36:10,431 (INDISTINCT RAP MUSIC) 1669 01:36:10,515 --> 01:36:13,475 Hey, what the fuck is this? 1670 01:36:14,644 --> 01:36:17,146 - Talk to your woman. - It was her idea. 1671 01:36:20,483 --> 01:36:22,067 Laura! 1672 01:36:23,278 --> 01:36:25,946 "Dance music for old people"? 1673 01:36:26,030 --> 01:36:28,949 It's an idea I had when I was with, um, lan 1674 01:36:29,033 --> 01:36:30,492 and I thought it was such a good one, 1675 01:36:30,577 --> 01:36:33,036 that I was really annoyed we weren't together anymore. 1676 01:36:33,121 --> 01:36:35,205 - It may be why I came back. - A record release party? 1677 01:36:35,290 --> 01:36:37,207 What if I was doing something that can't be canceled? 1678 01:36:37,292 --> 01:36:39,126 What are you ever doing that can't be canceled? 1679 01:36:39,210 --> 01:36:41,545 That's not the point! The single cannot be done. 1680 01:36:41,629 --> 01:36:43,839 - There's a million things! - It'll be done. 1681 01:36:43,923 --> 01:36:46,300 Oh, guess what? Barry said his band will play a set. 1682 01:36:46,384 --> 01:36:48,635 Barry is playing at this thing? 1683 01:36:48,720 --> 01:36:49,761 (MUTTERING) 1684 01:36:49,846 --> 01:36:50,846 (GAGGING) 1685 01:36:50,930 --> 01:36:53,223 Fucking, what are you... Are you insane? 1686 01:36:53,308 --> 01:36:54,683 (CHUCKLES) 1687 01:36:55,268 --> 01:36:58,353 Barry, I'll give you 10% of the door if you don't play. 1688 01:36:58,438 --> 01:37:00,522 Rob, we're getting that anyway. 1689 01:37:00,607 --> 01:37:03,984 - Twenty, 20%. - No! Come on, Rob. We need the gig. 1690 01:37:04,068 --> 01:37:05,819 110%. 1691 01:37:05,904 --> 01:37:08,780 That's how much it means to me not to hear you play. 1692 01:37:08,907 --> 01:37:12,326 - Rob, we're called Sonic Death Monkey. - Sonic Death Monkey? 1693 01:37:12,410 --> 01:37:15,120 And if Laura and her bourgeois lawyer friends can't handle it, 1694 01:37:15,205 --> 01:37:16,997 fuck them. Let 'em riot. 1695 01:37:17,081 --> 01:37:19,666 We're Sonic fucking Death Monkey. 1696 01:37:19,751 --> 01:37:23,337 Let me get this straight. We made the CD with you. 1697 01:37:23,421 --> 01:37:25,297 Now your friends and your girlfriend 1698 01:37:25,381 --> 01:37:28,759 are throwing some kind of celebration party 1699 01:37:28,843 --> 01:37:31,303 and you're asking us not to come to the party? 1700 01:37:31,387 --> 01:37:33,555 Exactly. 1701 01:37:33,640 --> 01:37:36,975 I don't know, dude. That just seems kind of stupid. 1702 01:37:37,060 --> 01:37:41,647 It's just the whole thing is just blown way out of proportion. 1703 01:37:41,731 --> 01:37:44,858 It's just a three-song CD. It's a single. 1704 01:37:44,943 --> 01:37:47,027 It's not a big deal. 1705 01:37:48,446 --> 01:37:51,573 It's just that you're making something. 1706 01:37:51,658 --> 01:37:55,118 You, the critic, the professional appreciator, 1707 01:37:55,203 --> 01:37:57,412 put something new into the world. 1708 01:37:57,497 --> 01:37:59,706 The second one of those things gets sold to someone, 1709 01:37:59,791 --> 01:38:01,667 you're officially a part of it. 1710 01:38:01,793 --> 01:38:04,127 Congratulations, Rob. 1711 01:38:07,298 --> 01:38:11,009 You know, I guess I think I've always been a professional critic, 1712 01:38:11,094 --> 01:38:14,846 you know, or some sort of professional appreciator or something. 1713 01:38:14,931 --> 01:38:17,516 And I just wanted to, you know, do something new, 1714 01:38:17,600 --> 01:38:19,309 put something new out into the world, 1715 01:38:19,477 --> 01:38:22,145 kind of really put my money where my mouth is. 1716 01:38:22,230 --> 01:38:24,856 Yeah. Wow. You know, I would love to hear them. 1717 01:38:24,941 --> 01:38:26,900 Why don't I send it over to you when it's done? 1718 01:38:26,985 --> 01:38:28,485 Really? 1719 01:38:28,570 --> 01:38:31,947 - I will look forward to that. - I will look forward to sending it. 1720 01:38:32,031 --> 01:38:34,199 You know, we should get back to the interview. 1721 01:38:34,284 --> 01:38:35,742 Yeah, let's do that. 1722 01:38:35,827 --> 01:38:40,831 Okay. What are your all-time top five favorite records? 1723 01:38:40,999 --> 01:38:42,165 (CAROLINE LAUGHS) 1724 01:38:42,667 --> 01:38:44,418 In the club or at home? 1725 01:38:44,502 --> 01:38:48,797 Listen. I'll tell you what. Why don't I just make you a tape? 1726 01:38:53,052 --> 01:38:56,888 Now, the making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. 1727 01:38:56,973 --> 01:38:59,016 Many dos and don'ts. 1728 01:38:59,100 --> 01:39:02,519 First of all, you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. 1729 01:39:02,604 --> 01:39:04,896 This is a delicate thing. 1730 01:39:05,189 --> 01:39:08,025 So, for this one, I'm thinking... 1731 01:39:09,819 --> 01:39:11,820 I'm thinking... 1732 01:39:13,531 --> 01:39:15,490 When is this gonna stop? 1733 01:39:15,575 --> 01:39:17,492 When's what gonna stop? 1734 01:39:17,577 --> 01:39:19,536 Uh, nothing. 1735 01:39:23,374 --> 01:39:25,459 Who's the tape for? 1736 01:39:27,545 --> 01:39:30,380 Just some girl who interviewed me for The Reader. 1737 01:39:40,558 --> 01:39:43,477 So what am I gonna do now? Just keep jumping 1738 01:39:43,561 --> 01:39:47,272 from rock to rock for the rest of my life until there aren't any rocks left? 1739 01:39:47,357 --> 01:39:49,566 Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut 1740 01:39:49,651 --> 01:39:51,068 when I meet someone new? 1741 01:39:51,152 --> 01:39:53,904 I've been thinking with my gut since I was 14 years old, 1742 01:39:53,988 --> 01:39:55,155 and, frankly speaking, 1743 01:39:55,239 --> 01:39:58,575 I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains. 1744 01:40:05,792 --> 01:40:10,170 Hi. Drinking lunch on a school day. 1745 01:40:10,254 --> 01:40:12,839 That's a nice surprise. 1746 01:40:17,762 --> 01:40:19,596 Are you nervous about tomorrow night? 1747 01:40:19,681 --> 01:40:21,765 Not really, no. 1748 01:40:24,727 --> 01:40:28,689 Well, are you gonna talk to me, or shall I get my paper out? 1749 01:40:28,773 --> 01:40:30,148 - No, I'm gonna talk to you. - Great. 1750 01:40:30,233 --> 01:40:32,442 What are you gonna talk to me about? 1751 01:40:33,319 --> 01:40:36,363 Um, I'm gonna talk to you about whether or not 1752 01:40:37,532 --> 01:40:40,409 you want to get married to me. 1753 01:40:40,493 --> 01:40:41,743 (LAUGHING) 1754 01:40:43,454 --> 01:40:45,706 - I'm serious. - Yes, I know. 1755 01:40:45,790 --> 01:40:48,208 Well, thanks a fucking bunch. 1756 01:40:48,292 --> 01:40:51,378 I'm sorry. Two days ago, you were making tapes 1757 01:40:51,546 --> 01:40:53,547 - for that girl from The Reader. - Yeah. 1758 01:40:53,631 --> 01:40:56,883 Well, forgive me if I don't think of you as the world's safest bet. 1759 01:40:56,968 --> 01:40:59,344 Would you marry me if I was? 1760 01:40:59,429 --> 01:41:02,055 - What brought all this on? - I don't know. 1761 01:41:02,140 --> 01:41:03,974 I'm just sick of thinking about it all the time. 1762 01:41:04,058 --> 01:41:06,601 - About what? - This stuff. 1763 01:41:06,686 --> 01:41:10,564 Love and settling down and marriage, you know? 1764 01:41:10,648 --> 01:41:12,566 I want to think about something else. 1765 01:41:13,776 --> 01:41:15,902 I changed my mind. 1766 01:41:15,987 --> 01:41:18,405 That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. 1767 01:41:18,489 --> 01:41:20,532 - I do. I will. - Just shut up, please. 1768 01:41:20,658 --> 01:41:23,577 I'm trying to explain, okay? 1769 01:41:23,661 --> 01:41:26,538 That other girl, or other women, whatever... 1770 01:41:26,622 --> 01:41:30,834 I mean, I was thinking that they're just fantasies. 1771 01:41:32,211 --> 01:41:35,255 You know? And they always seem really great 1772 01:41:35,339 --> 01:41:38,592 because there's never any problems. 1773 01:41:38,676 --> 01:41:41,094 And if there are, they're cute problems, 1774 01:41:41,179 --> 01:41:44,264 like, you know, we bought each other the same Christmas present, 1775 01:41:44,348 --> 01:41:46,892 or she wants to go see a movie that I've already seen, you know? 1776 01:41:46,976 --> 01:41:49,436 And then I come home, and you and I have real problems, 1777 01:41:49,520 --> 01:41:52,856 and you don't even want to see the movie I want to see, period. 1778 01:41:52,940 --> 01:41:55,734 - There's no lingerie and... - I have lingerie. 1779 01:41:55,818 --> 01:41:57,027 Yes, you do. You have great lingerie. 1780 01:41:57,111 --> 01:41:58,987 But you also have the cotton underwear 1781 01:41:59,071 --> 01:42:02,449 that's been washed a thousand times, and it's hanging on the thing and... 1782 01:42:03,493 --> 01:42:05,118 And they have it, too. 1783 01:42:05,203 --> 01:42:07,245 It's just I don't have to see it because it's not in the fantasy. 1784 01:42:07,371 --> 01:42:09,331 Do you understand? 1785 01:42:09,415 --> 01:42:12,167 I'm tired of the fantasy 1786 01:42:12,251 --> 01:42:14,878 because it doesn't really exist. 1787 01:42:14,962 --> 01:42:18,799 And there are never really any surprises, and it never really... 1788 01:42:18,883 --> 01:42:21,259 - Delivers? - Delivers. 1789 01:42:21,344 --> 01:42:24,888 Right. And I'm tired of it. 1790 01:42:27,141 --> 01:42:30,060 I'm tired of everything else, for that matter. 1791 01:42:31,729 --> 01:42:34,272 But I don't ever seem to get tired of you. 1792 01:42:34,357 --> 01:42:36,399 So... 1793 01:42:36,484 --> 01:42:38,652 I think I know what you mean. 1794 01:42:38,736 --> 01:42:43,365 But were you really expecting me to say yes? 1795 01:42:44,909 --> 01:42:48,620 I don't know. I didn't think about it, really. 1796 01:42:50,122 --> 01:42:53,083 I thought asking was the important part. 1797 01:42:55,086 --> 01:42:59,214 Well, you've asked. Thank you. 1798 01:43:01,425 --> 01:43:03,134 (HARD ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 1799 01:43:20,486 --> 01:43:23,029 Uh, thanks for coming out here tonight. 1800 01:43:23,114 --> 01:43:26,324 That was just a little bit of I Sold My Mom's Wheelchair, 1801 01:43:26,409 --> 01:43:28,577 the title track from the album of same name, 1802 01:43:28,661 --> 01:43:31,580 the record we're having this record release party for. 1803 01:43:31,664 --> 01:43:35,375 The two burgeoning criminals behind this opus are standing by the bar. 1804 01:43:35,459 --> 01:43:38,545 They're underage, and we'll lose our liquor license. 1805 01:43:39,171 --> 01:43:40,338 (CHEERING) 1806 01:43:41,799 --> 01:43:42,883 (WHISTLING) 1807 01:43:44,302 --> 01:43:46,761 But we'll get to them in a moment. 1808 01:43:46,846 --> 01:43:50,265 First, I have to introduce a band, so please don't leave 1809 01:43:50,349 --> 01:43:54,269 until after they finish and we play the record. 1810 01:43:54,353 --> 01:43:57,647 Right now, it's my great, great pleasure 1811 01:43:57,732 --> 01:44:01,151 to introduce Sonic Death Monkey. 1812 01:44:02,194 --> 01:44:03,528 (APPLAUSE) 1813 01:44:03,613 --> 01:44:05,322 (CHEERING) 1814 01:44:09,327 --> 01:44:12,245 I'm an idiot. I should've played the whole album first. 1815 01:44:12,330 --> 01:44:13,663 These people are gonna burn the place down. 1816 01:44:13,748 --> 01:44:15,123 No, no, it's gonna be fine. 1817 01:44:15,207 --> 01:44:17,584 These people are ready for anything. 1818 01:44:17,668 --> 01:44:19,753 - It's gonna be fine. Watch. - Thank you. 1819 01:44:19,837 --> 01:44:24,215 You're so kind. Rob, thank you for the enthusiastic intro, 1820 01:44:24,300 --> 01:44:27,052 but we're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. 1821 01:44:27,136 --> 01:44:31,056 We're on the verge of being called Kathleen Turner Overdrive. 1822 01:44:31,140 --> 01:44:33,808 However, this evening we will be Barry Jive 1823 01:44:33,893 --> 01:44:36,937 and the Uptown Five. 1824 01:44:37,021 --> 01:44:38,605 (CROWD CHEERING) 1825 01:44:40,983 --> 01:44:45,403 (SINGING) I been really tryin', baby 1826 01:44:45,488 --> 01:44:48,615 To hold on to this feeling 1827 01:44:48,699 --> 01:44:51,743 For so long 1828 01:44:51,827 --> 01:44:54,287 And if you feel 1829 01:44:54,372 --> 01:44:57,791 Like I feel, sugar, come on 1830 01:44:57,875 --> 01:45:01,544 Oh, come on, oh 1831 01:45:01,629 --> 01:45:04,381 Let's get it on 1832 01:45:04,507 --> 01:45:06,591 (CROWD CHEERING) 1833 01:45:07,468 --> 01:45:10,011 Let's get it on 1834 01:45:10,096 --> 01:45:12,097 Let's love, sugar 1835 01:45:13,474 --> 01:45:16,768 Let's get it on 1836 01:45:16,852 --> 01:45:19,187 Sugar 1837 01:45:19,271 --> 01:45:22,232 Let's get it on 1838 01:45:22,316 --> 01:45:25,318 Whoo-ooh-ooh 1839 01:45:27,071 --> 01:45:30,824 We are all sensitive people 1840 01:45:30,908 --> 01:45:34,411 With so much to give 1841 01:45:34,495 --> 01:45:37,622 Understanding, sugar 1842 01:45:39,041 --> 01:45:43,003 Since we got to be 1843 01:45:43,087 --> 01:45:46,381 Let's live 1844 01:45:46,465 --> 01:45:49,592 I love you 1845 01:45:49,677 --> 01:45:53,680 There's nothing wrong 1846 01:45:53,764 --> 01:45:56,182 With me loving you 1847 01:45:56,267 --> 01:46:00,186 Sha-na-na-na-na 1848 01:46:00,271 --> 01:46:03,732 And giving yourself to me 1849 01:46:03,816 --> 01:46:06,776 Could never be wrong 1850 01:46:06,861 --> 01:46:10,196 If the love is true Oh, baby 1851 01:46:10,614 --> 01:46:12,240 (CROWD CHEERING) 1852 01:46:14,535 --> 01:46:18,538 Don't you know how sweet and wonderful 1853 01:46:18,622 --> 01:46:22,459 The making of a great compilation tape, 1854 01:46:22,543 --> 01:46:23,918 like breaking up, is hard to do 1855 01:46:24,003 --> 01:46:26,379 and takes ages longer than it might seem. 1856 01:46:26,464 --> 01:46:29,299 You gotta kick it off with a killer to grab attention. 1857 01:46:29,383 --> 01:46:32,469 Then you gotta take it up a notch, but you don't want to blow your wad. 1858 01:46:32,553 --> 01:46:36,473 So then you gotta cool it off a notch. There are a lot of rules. 1859 01:46:37,850 --> 01:46:39,476 Anyway, I've started to make a tape, 1860 01:46:39,643 --> 01:46:43,021 in my head, for Laura. 1861 01:46:43,105 --> 01:46:45,065 Full of stuff she'd like. 1862 01:46:45,149 --> 01:46:47,817 Full of stuff that'd make her happy. 1863 01:46:50,404 --> 01:46:52,822 For the first time, I can see how that's done. 1864 01:46:57,787 --> 01:47:01,915 (SINGING) I believe when I fall in love with you 1865 01:47:01,999 --> 01:47:05,335 It will be forever 1866 01:47:05,836 --> 01:47:08,671 I believe when I fall in love 1867 01:47:08,756 --> 01:47:12,884 This time it will be forever 1868 01:47:12,968 --> 01:47:17,055 Without despair 1869 01:47:17,139 --> 01:47:19,808 We will share 1870 01:47:19,892 --> 01:47:22,560 And the joys of caring 1871 01:47:22,645 --> 01:47:27,565 Will not be replaced 1872 01:47:28,651 --> 01:47:32,153 What has been 1873 01:47:32,238 --> 01:47:35,406 Must never end 1874 01:47:35,491 --> 01:47:38,952 And with the strength we have 1875 01:47:39,036 --> 01:47:43,623 Won't be erased 1876 01:47:43,707 --> 01:47:47,877 When the truth of love all planned and firm 1877 01:47:47,962 --> 01:47:51,589 They won't be hard to find 1878 01:47:51,674 --> 01:47:55,802 And the words of love I speak to you 1879 01:47:55,886 --> 01:47:59,514 Will echo in my mind 1880 01:48:02,309 --> 01:48:06,187 I believe when I fall in love with you 1881 01:48:06,272 --> 01:48:08,565 It will be forever 1882 01:48:10,359 --> 01:48:13,987 I believe when I fall in love this time 1883 01:48:14,071 --> 01:48:17,031 It will be forever 1884 01:48:18,576 --> 01:48:20,785 - Ever - Ever 1885 01:48:24,081 --> 01:48:27,709 I believe when I fall in love with you 1886 01:48:27,793 --> 01:48:30,503 It will be forever 1887 01:48:31,922 --> 01:48:35,508 I believe when I fall in love with you 1888 01:48:35,593 --> 01:48:38,636 It will be forever 1889 01:48:39,680 --> 01:48:43,600 I believe when I fall in love with you 1890 01:48:43,684 --> 01:48:47,437 It will be forever 1891 01:48:47,521 --> 01:48:51,357 I believe when I fall in love with you 1892 01:48:51,442 --> 01:48:55,069 It will be forever 1893 01:48:55,154 --> 01:48:58,865 I believe when I fall in love with you 1894 01:48:58,949 --> 01:49:02,410 It will be forever 1895 01:49:03,037 --> 01:49:05,747 - God answered - I believe when I fall in love 1896 01:49:05,831 --> 01:49:09,709 - My prayer - With you it will be forever 1897 01:49:09,793 --> 01:49:15,215 - God answered my prayer - I believe when I fall in love with you 1898 01:49:15,299 --> 01:49:17,926 - It will be forever - Oh, baby 1899 01:49:32,566 --> 01:49:34,984 (SINGING) ljust got out my little red book 1900 01:49:35,069 --> 01:49:37,528 The minute that you said good-bye 1901 01:49:39,740 --> 01:49:42,158 I thumbed right through my little red book 1902 01:49:42,243 --> 01:49:44,535 I wasn't gonna sit and cry 1903 01:49:44,620 --> 01:49:48,122 And I went from "A" to "Z" 1904 01:49:48,207 --> 01:49:52,126 I took out every pretty girl in town 1905 01:49:52,211 --> 01:49:56,339 They danced with me and as I held them 1906 01:49:56,423 --> 01:49:58,758 All I did was talk about you 1907 01:49:58,842 --> 01:50:01,177 Hear your name and I'd start to cry 1908 01:50:01,262 --> 01:50:05,098 There's just no getting over you 1909 01:50:05,182 --> 01:50:08,101 Oh, no 1910 01:50:08,185 --> 01:50:10,728 There ain't no girl in my little red book 1911 01:50:10,813 --> 01:50:13,856 Who could ever replace your charms 1912 01:50:15,693 --> 01:50:17,944 And each girl in my little red book 1913 01:50:18,028 --> 01:50:20,571 Knows you're the one I'm thinking of 1914 01:50:20,656 --> 01:50:23,908 Oh, won't you please come back 1915 01:50:23,993 --> 01:50:27,829 Without your precious love I can't go on 1916 01:50:27,913 --> 01:50:32,333 Where can love be I need you so much 1917 01:50:32,418 --> 01:50:34,711 All I did was talk talk about you 1918 01:50:34,795 --> 01:50:37,046 Hear your name and I'd start to cry 1919 01:50:37,131 --> 01:50:40,883 There's just no getting over you 1920 01:50:40,968 --> 01:50:43,761 Oh, no 1921 01:50:49,351 --> 01:50:52,687 Oh, won't you please come back 1922 01:50:52,771 --> 01:50:56,816 Without your precious love I can't go on 1923 01:50:56,900 --> 01:51:00,987 It's haunting me I need you so much 1924 01:51:01,071 --> 01:51:03,448 All I did was talk talk about you 1925 01:51:03,532 --> 01:51:05,658 Hear your name and I'd start to cry 1926 01:51:05,743 --> 01:51:10,163 There's just no getting over you 1927 01:51:10,247 --> 01:51:12,790 All I did was talk talk about you 1928 01:51:12,875 --> 01:51:15,168 Hear your name and I'd start to cry 1929 01:51:15,252 --> 01:51:19,005 There's just no getting over you 1930 01:51:19,089 --> 01:51:21,924 Oh, no