1 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,698 Hey! 2 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,207 I'll be right with you. 3 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:19,305 So, Cameron. Here you go. 4 00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:23,059 Nine schools in 1 0 years. My, my. Army brat? 5 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:25,728 -Yeah. My dad is... -That's enough. 6 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:30,316 I'm sure you won't find Padua any different than your old schools. 7 00:02:30,901 --> 00:02:34,070 Same little ass-wipe shit-for-brains everywhere. 8 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:41,077 Excuse me? Did you just say... Am I in the right office? 9 00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,913 Not anymore, you're not. I've got deviants to see and a novel to finish. 10 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,915 Now, scoot. Scoot! 11 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,708 Okay. 12 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,837 Thanks. Thanks a lot. 13 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,425 Patrick Verona. 14 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:59,095 I see we're making our visits a weekly ritual. 15 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,765 Only so we can have these moments together. Should I hit the lights? 16 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,434 Oh, very clever, kangaroo boy. 17 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,020 Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria? 18 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:11,607 I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst. 19 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:12,942 Bratwurst? 20 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:16,237 Aren't we the optimist? 21 00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,951 Next time, keep it in your pouch, okay? 22 00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:24,120 Scoot! 23 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,636 Hello! Michael Eckman. I'm supposed to show you around. 24 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,889 Oh, hi. Thank God. You know... 25 00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:45,808 Normally they send down one of those audio visual geeks. 26 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,643 No, I do. I know what you mean. 27 00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,312 Hey, Michael, where should I put those slides? 28 00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:53,482 Michael? So... Cameron. 29 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,820 Here's the breakdown. Over there, we've got your basic beautiful people. 30 00:03:57,946 --> 00:04:01,324 Now listen. Unless they talk to you first, don't bother. 31 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,410 -Wait. Is that your rule or theirs? -Watch. Hey, there. 32 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,495 -Eat me. -You see that? 33 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:10,499 To the left, we have the coffee kids. 34 00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:13,085 -That was Costa Rican, butthead! -Very edgy. 35 00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,087 Don't make any sudden movements around them. 36 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:17,673 These delusionals are your white Rastas. 37 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,343 They're big Marley fans. They think they're black. 38 00:04:20,469 --> 00:04:22,345 -Semi-political, but mostly... -Smoke a lot of weed? 39 00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:25,598 -Yeah. These guys... -Wait, wait. Let me guess. Cowboys? 40 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:29,310 Yeah, but the closest they've come to a cow is McDonald's. 41 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,855 McDonald's. 42 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,858 These are your future Mvys. We're all Ivy League accepted. 43 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,860 Yuppie greed is back, my friend. 44 00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,863 -Hey, guys, how you doin'? -Close it, Bogey! 45 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,951 -Yesterday, I was their god. -What happened? 46 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,871 Bogey Lozenstein started a rumor that I... 47 00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:52,041 That I buy my Izods at an outlet mall. 48 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,044 -So they kicked you out? -Hostile takeover. But don't worry. 49 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:58,172 -He'll pay. Now, over here... -Oh, my God. 50 00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:09,558 -What group is she in? -The "don't even think about it" group. 51 00:05:09,685 --> 00:05:11,143 That's Bianca Stratford. She's a sophomore. 52 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,562 I burn, I pine, I perish. 53 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:17,233 Of course you do. You know, she's beautiful and deep. 54 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,693 I'm sure. 55 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:21,904 Yeah, but see, there's a difference between like and love. 56 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:25,574 Because I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack. 57 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:28,077 But I love my Skechers. 58 00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:30,329 That's because you don't have a Prada backpack. 59 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,918 Listen, forget her. Incredibly uptight father. 60 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:37,086 And it's a widely known fact that 61 00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,922 the Stratford sisters aren't allowed to date. 62 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:41,590 Yeah. 63 00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:43,676 Whatever. 64 00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:54,520 Okay, then. What did everyone think of the Sun Also Rises? 65 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:58,274 I loved it. He's so romantic. 66 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:00,526 Romantic? Hemingway? 67 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:03,529 He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half his life 68 00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:06,115 hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers. 69 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,785 As opposed to a bitter, self-righteous hag who has no friends? 70 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,789 Pipe down, Chachi. 71 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,209 I guess in this society, being male and an asshole 72 00:06:17,294 --> 00:06:19,128 makes you worthy of our time. 73 00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:21,797 What about Sylvia Plath, 74 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:24,633 or Charlotte Bronte or Simone de Beauvoir? 75 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,970 What'd I miss? 76 00:06:28,096 --> 00:06:31,307 The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education. 77 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,475 Good. 78 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,394 -Hey, hey! -Mr. Morgan. 79 00:06:35,479 --> 00:06:37,730 Is there any chance we could get Kat to take her Midol 80 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,774 before she comes to class? 81 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,818 Someday you're gonna get bitch-slapped, 82 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,613 and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it. 83 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:48,991 And, Kat, I want to thank you for your point of view. 84 00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,577 I know how difficult it must be for you to overcome all those years 85 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,413 of upper-middle class suburban oppression. 86 00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:55,998 Must be tough. 87 00:06:56,500 --> 00:07:00,169 But the next time you storm the P.T.A., crusading for better lunch meat, 88 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,171 or whatever it is you white girls complain about, 89 00:07:02,297 --> 00:07:05,007 ask them why they can't buy a book written by a black man! 90 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:08,761 -That's right, mon! -Don't even get me started on you two. 91 00:07:11,348 --> 00:07:12,515 Anything else? 92 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,184 Yeah, go to the office. You're pissing me off. 93 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,394 -What? Mr. Morgan... -Later! 94 00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:25,861 Undulating with desire, 95 00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:29,698 Adrienne removes her red... 96 00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:42,545 Crimson cape 97 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,923 at the sight of Reginald's stiff and... 98 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,555 Judith! 99 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:57,184 What's another word for "engorged"? 100 00:07:58,103 --> 00:07:59,603 I'll look it up. 101 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:00,855 Okay. 102 00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:06,569 -Swollen. Turgid. -Tumescent? 103 00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:08,863 Perfect. 104 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:13,409 So, I hear you were terrorizing Mr. Morgan's class again. 105 00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:18,289 Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action. 106 00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:21,375 The way you expressed your opinion to Bobby Ridgezay? 107 00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:24,503 By the way, his testicle retrieval operation went quite well, 108 00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,338 in case you're interested. 109 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,717 I still maintain that he kicked himself in the balls. 110 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,635 The point is, Kat... 111 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,306 Cat. 112 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:43,647 People perceive you as somewhat... 113 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:44,899 Tempestuous? 114 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,943 "Heinous bitch" is the term used most often. 115 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,740 You might want to work on that. 116 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,784 Thank you. 117 00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:59,413 As always, thank you for your excellent guidance. 118 00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:02,625 I'll let you get back to Reginald's quivering member. 119 00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,630 "Quivering member." I like that. 120 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,966 Virgin alert. Your favorite. 121 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:19,391 Lookin' good, ladies. 122 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:22,144 Oh, she's out of reach, even for you. 123 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,981 -No one's out of reach for me. -You wanna put money on that? 124 00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:28,025 Money, I've got. 125 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:30,444 This I'm gonna do for fun. 126 00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,950 -Who's that guy? -That's Joey Donner. 127 00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:38,619 He's a jerk off, and a model. 128 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:40,246 -He's a model? -A model. 129 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:43,582 Mostly regional stuff, but he's rumored to have a big tube sock ad coming out. 130 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,334 -Really? -Really. 131 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,801 Man, look at her. Is she always so... 132 00:09:53,885 --> 00:09:56,262 -Vapid? -How can you say that? She's totally... 133 00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,138 -Conceited. -What are you talking about? 134 00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,015 There's more to her than you think. 135 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:04,436 Look at the way she smiles, and look at her eyes, man. 136 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:08,857 She's totally pure. You're missing what's there. 137 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:11,527 No, no, Cameron, no. What's there 138 00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:15,948 is a snotty little princess wearing a strategically planned sun dress 139 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:19,451 to make guys like us realize that we can never touch her 140 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,371 and guys like Joey realize that they want to. 141 00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:26,083 She, my friend, is what we will spend the rest of our lives not having. 142 00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:28,168 Put her in your spank bank, move on. 143 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:31,088 -Move on. -No, no. You're wrong about her. 144 00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:33,507 I mean, you know, not about the spanking part, 145 00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,967 but the rest, you're wrong. 146 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:38,595 All right... I'm wrong? You wanna take a shot, be my guest. 147 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:40,514 She's actually looking for a French tutor. 148 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:42,683 Are you serious? That's perfect! 149 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,768 Do you speak French? 150 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,062 Well, no, but I will. 151 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,861 Hey. Your little Rambo look is out, Kat. 152 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:57,865 -Didn't you read last month's Cosmo? -Run along. 153 00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:04,413 I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be under whelmed, 154 00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,707 but can you everjust be "whelmed"? 155 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:10,336 -I think you can in Europe. -Hi, ladies. 156 00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:13,213 Would you szeet young things like a ride? 157 00:11:18,762 --> 00:11:20,804 Careful on the leather. 158 00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:27,227 That's a charming new development. 159 00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:28,937 It's disgusting. 160 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:35,152 Remove head from sphincter, then drive! 161 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,576 -You okay? -Yeah. 162 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,287 Just a minor encounter with the shrew. 163 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:48,916 -That's your girlfriend's sister. -That's Bianca's sister? 164 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,294 The mewling, rampalian wretch herself. 165 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:55,297 -Stay cool, bro. -Yeah, see you later. 166 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:57,758 Look out! 167 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:07,309 My balls! Oh, boy. 168 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,829 Yeah! 169 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,087 Hello, Katarina. Make anyone cry today? 170 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:20,048 Sadly, no. But it's only 4:30. 171 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,011 -Hi, Daddy. -Hello, precious. 172 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:26,513 -And where have you been? -Nowhere. 173 00:13:26,598 --> 00:13:29,391 Hey, what's this? It says Sarah Lawrence. 174 00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:37,566 I got in! 175 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:39,860 Honey, that's great, 176 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,987 but isn't Sarah Lawrence on the other side of the country? 177 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:44,406 Thus the basis of its appeal. 178 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,700 I thought we decided you were going to stay here and go to school. 179 00:13:46,784 --> 00:13:49,077 "U-Dub," like me. Be a Husky. 180 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,873 No, you decided. 181 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:56,376 Oh, okay, so what, you just pick up and leave, is that it? 182 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:57,920 Let's hope so. 183 00:13:58,421 --> 00:14:00,464 Ask Bianca who drove her home. 184 00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,674 Kat, don't change the... Drove? Who drove you home? 185 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,260 Now, don't get upset, Daddy, but there's this boy... 186 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:08,096 -Who's a flaming imbecile. -And I think he might ask me... 187 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:10,057 Please. I think I know what he's going to ask you. 188 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,976 And I think I know the answer. No. It's always no. 189 00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:14,770 What are the two house rules? 190 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,272 Number one, no dating till you graduate. 191 00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:20,108 Number two, no dating till you graduate. 192 00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:23,111 -That's it. -Daddy, that's so unfair. 193 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,198 All right, you want to know what's unfair? This is for you, too. 194 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,576 This morning I delivered a set of twins to a 1 5-year-old girl. 195 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,203 Do you know what she said to me? 196 00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,663 I'm a crack whore who should have 197 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:35,374 made my skeezy boyfriend wear a condom? 198 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,628 Close, but no. 199 00:14:39,796 --> 00:14:42,965 She said, "I should have listened to my father." 200 00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,592 -She did not. -Well, that's what she would have said 201 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:47,719 if she wasn't so doped up. 202 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,056 Can we focus on me for a second, please? 203 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,267 I am the only girl in school who's not dating. 204 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,851 Oh, no, you're not. Your sister doesn't date. 205 00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:56,228 And I don't intend to. 206 00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:57,938 And why is that again? 207 00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:01,024 Have you seen the unwashed miscreants that go to that school? 208 00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,402 Where did you come from? Planet Loser? 209 00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:06,488 As opposed to Planet Look At Me, Look At Me. 210 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,949 Okay, here's how we solve this one. 211 00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:12,869 Old rule out. New rule, Bianca can date 212 00:15:15,373 --> 00:15:16,915 when she does. 213 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:21,086 But she's a mutant! What if she never dates? 214 00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,547 Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that. 215 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,008 And I'll get to sleep at night. 216 00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:27,259 The deep slumber of a father 217 00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:29,845 whose daughters aren't out being impregnated. 218 00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:33,849 -We'll talk about Sarah Lawrence later. -Fine. 219 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,851 -Wait! Daddy! -Gotta go. 220 00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,813 Can't you just find some blind, deaf retard 221 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:42,065 to take you to the movies so I can have one date? 222 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,067 I'm sorry. Looks like you'll just have to miss out 223 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:47,112 on the witty repartee of Joey "Eat Me" Donner. 224 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:51,033 You suck. 225 00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,714 Hi. Can we make this quick? 226 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,258 Roxanne Corinne and Andrew Jarrett are having an incredibly horrendous 227 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,761 public break-up on the quad, again. 228 00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:14,514 Oh, yeah, okay. I thought that we'd 229 00:16:14,599 --> 00:16:17,934 start with pronunciation, if that's all right with you. 230 00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:21,438 Not the hacking and gagging and spitting part, please. 231 00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,107 Well, there is an alternative. 232 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,194 -There is? -Yeah, French food. 233 00:16:27,278 --> 00:16:30,155 We could eat some together 234 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:33,075 Saturday night? 235 00:16:35,745 --> 00:16:37,621 You're asking me out? 236 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,791 That's so cute. What's your name again? 237 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:44,044 Cameron. Listen, I know that your dad doesn't let you date, 238 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:46,380 but I thought that if it was for French class... 239 00:16:46,464 --> 00:16:49,424 -Oh, wait a minute. Curtis... -Cameron. 240 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:53,470 My dad just came up with a new rule. I can date when my sister does. 241 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:56,139 You're kidding. Let me ask you, do you like sailing? 242 00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,849 'Cause I read about this place that rents boats... 243 00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,768 A beaucoup problemo, Calvin. 244 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:04,523 In case you haven't heard, my sister's a particularly hideous breed of loser. 245 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:08,777 Yeah. Yeah, I noticed she's a little antisocial. 246 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:11,822 -Why is that? -Unsolved mystery. 247 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,408 She used to be really popular, and then it was like 248 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,618 she got sick of it or something. 249 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:17,953 Theories abound as to why, 250 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,039 but I'm pretty sure she's just incapable of human interaction. 251 00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:23,041 Plus, she's a bitch. 252 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,920 Well, yeah, but I'm sure, you know, that there are 253 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:30,966 lots of guys who wouldn't mind going out with a difficult woman. 254 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:35,178 I mean, you know, people jump out of airplanes and ski off cliffs. 255 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,473 It'd be like "Extreme Dating." 256 00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:42,602 You think you could find someone that extreme? 257 00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,479 Yeah, sure, why not? 258 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,858 -And you'd do that for me? -Hell, yes! 259 00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:51,194 I mean, you know, I could look into it. 260 00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,912 Now, I have gathered a group of guys, couldn't be more perfect. 261 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:02,539 Padua's finest. 262 00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,837 Hi. How you doin'? 263 00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:13,842 Would any of you be interested in dating Katarina Stratford? 264 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:20,682 I've never been that ripped. 265 00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:23,894 Maybe if we were the last two people alive, 266 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,812 and there were no sheep. 267 00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:27,022 Are there sheep? 268 00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:37,324 Did I or did I not tell you it was pointless? 269 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,409 No one will go out with her. 270 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,874 Hey, hey, what about him? 271 00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:48,335 Him? No, don't... Don't look at him, okay? 272 00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:52,547 He's a criminal. I heard he lit a state trooper on fire. 273 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:56,551 -He just did a year in San Quentin. -Well, at least he's horny. 274 00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,304 I'm serious, man. He's whacked. 275 00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:03,892 He sold his own liver on the black market for a new set of speakers. 276 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:12,651 He's our guy. 277 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,254 Hi. How you doin'? 278 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,463 Listen, I... 279 00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,760 Okay. Later, then. 280 00:19:46,102 --> 00:19:48,436 How do we get him to date Kat? 281 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:50,981 I don't know. 282 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:54,109 I mean, we could pay him, 283 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,821 but we don't have any money. 284 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,448 Yeah, well, what we need is a backer. 285 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:04,286 -What's that? -Someone with money who's stupid. 286 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,958 Oh, yeah. 287 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:21,303 Is that a peach Fruit Roll-Up? Because you don't see many... 288 00:20:21,387 --> 00:20:24,222 Oh, okay. Yeah. All right. 289 00:20:25,182 --> 00:20:26,600 -Are you lost? -No. 290 00:20:26,684 --> 00:20:28,643 Actually, I just came by to chat. 291 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,188 -We don't chat. -Well, actually, I thought 292 00:20:32,315 --> 00:20:35,400 that I'd run an idea by you, just to see if you're interested. 293 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,903 -I'm not. -Well, hear me out. 294 00:20:37,987 --> 00:20:40,989 Now, you want Bianca, right? 295 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,784 But she can't go out with you because her sister 296 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:48,705 is this insane head case, and no one will go out with her, right? 297 00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,624 Does this conversation have a purpose? 298 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,709 What I think you need to do, 299 00:20:52,835 --> 00:20:55,837 is you need to hire a guy who'll go out with her. 300 00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,506 Someone who doesn't scare so easily. 301 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,010 That guy? 302 00:21:03,012 --> 00:21:06,723 -I heard he ate a live duck once. -Everything but the beak and feet. 303 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:09,517 Clearly, he's a solid investment. 304 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,687 -What's in it for you? -Hey. 305 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:16,733 I'm walking down the hall and I say hello to you, you say hello to me. 306 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:19,861 Yeah, yeah, I get it. You're cool by association. 307 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,323 I'll think about it. 308 00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:28,912 -We're done now. -Yeah. 309 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,335 What are you doing getting him involved? 310 00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:36,670 Relax, now. Relax. 311 00:21:36,754 --> 00:21:38,672 We let him pretend he's calling the shots. 312 00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:42,717 While he's busy setting things up, you have time with Bianca. 313 00:21:44,553 --> 00:21:46,930 That is a good idea. All right. 314 00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:52,060 I have a dick on my face, don't I? 315 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,024 Now, remember, guys, 316 00:21:58,526 --> 00:22:01,528 grip it and rip it. 317 00:22:15,376 --> 00:22:17,335 Hey. How you doin'? 318 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:23,967 I had some great duck last night. 319 00:22:26,095 --> 00:22:27,762 Do I know you? 320 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,432 You see that girl? 321 00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:34,894 -Yeah. -That's Kat Stratford. 322 00:22:35,312 --> 00:22:37,230 I want you to go out with her. 323 00:22:37,690 --> 00:22:39,524 Yeah, sure, Sparky. 324 00:22:41,652 --> 00:22:45,405 Look, I can't take out her sister until Kat starts dating. 325 00:22:45,489 --> 00:22:48,241 You see, their dad's whacked out. He's got this rule where the girls... 326 00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:51,661 That's a touching story. It really is. Not my problem. 327 00:22:52,788 --> 00:22:54,247 Would you be willing to make it your problem 328 00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:56,791 if I provide generous compensation? 329 00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:01,421 You're gonna pay me to take out some chick? 330 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:07,010 -How much? -Twenty bucks. 331 00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:16,644 Fine, 30. 332 00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:20,482 Well, let's think about this. 333 00:23:20,608 --> 00:23:24,486 We go to the movies, that's 1 5 bucks. 334 00:23:26,781 --> 00:23:29,949 We get popcorn, that's 53. 335 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,328 And she'll want Raisinets, right? 336 00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:37,207 So, we're looking at 75 bucks. 337 00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:41,252 This isn't a negotiation. Take it or leave it, Trailer Park. 338 00:23:41,796 --> 00:23:44,422 Fifty bucks and we got a deal, Fabio. 339 00:23:48,969 --> 00:23:51,638 Great practice, everybody. 340 00:23:51,722 --> 00:23:54,724 -Good hustle, Stratford. -Thanks, Mr. Chapin. 341 00:24:03,818 --> 00:24:06,778 Hey there, girlie. How you doin'? 342 00:24:07,238 --> 00:24:09,447 Sweating like a pig, actually. And yourself? 343 00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:11,950 Now, there's a way to get a guy's attention, huh? 344 00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:14,160 My mission in life. 345 00:24:14,245 --> 00:24:16,955 But obviously, I struck your fancy, so, you see, it worked. 346 00:24:17,039 --> 00:24:18,706 The world makes sense again. 347 00:24:20,459 --> 00:24:23,837 -Pick you up on Friday, then. -Oh, right. Friday. 348 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:28,466 Well, the night I take you places you've never been before. 349 00:24:28,551 --> 00:24:30,760 Like where? The 7-Eleven on Broadway? 350 00:24:30,845 --> 00:24:33,513 Do you even know my name, screw boy? 351 00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:35,765 I know a lot more than you think. 352 00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:37,809 Doubtful. Very doubtful. 353 00:24:45,109 --> 00:24:46,192 We are screwed. 354 00:24:46,277 --> 00:24:48,236 Hey, I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude. 355 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:51,364 -I want to hear you upbeat. -We're screwed! 356 00:24:51,448 --> 00:24:53,491 -There you go. -Hey, Coach Chapin! 357 00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,498 Run, Bogey! 358 00:25:07,715 --> 00:25:09,841 Have you ever considered a new look? 359 00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:12,260 I mean, seriously. You could have some definite potential 360 00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:14,429 buried under all this hostility. 361 00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:17,223 I'm not hostile. I'm annoyed. 362 00:25:17,391 --> 00:25:19,392 Why don't you try being nice? 363 00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:21,311 People wouldn't know what to think. 364 00:25:21,395 --> 00:25:23,563 You forget, I don't care what people think. 365 00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:25,023 Yes, you do. 366 00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:26,900 No, I don't. 367 00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:31,070 You don't always have to be who they want you to be, you know. 368 00:25:32,406 --> 00:25:35,158 I happen to like being adored, thank you. 369 00:25:35,993 --> 00:25:37,619 Where'd you get the pearls? 370 00:25:37,703 --> 00:25:39,204 They're Mom's. 371 00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:42,415 And you've been what, hiding them for three years? 372 00:25:42,499 --> 00:25:44,709 No. Daddy found them in a drawer last week. 373 00:25:44,793 --> 00:25:46,753 So you're just gonna start wearing them now? 374 00:25:46,837 --> 00:25:49,797 It's not like she's coming back to claim them! 375 00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:54,594 Besides, they look good on me. 376 00:25:55,888 --> 00:25:57,680 Trust me. They don't. 377 00:26:03,187 --> 00:26:05,647 Nice ride. Vintage fenders. 378 00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:08,107 Are you following me? 379 00:26:08,192 --> 00:26:11,402 I was in the Laundromat. I saw your car. I came over to say hi. 380 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:12,570 Hi. 381 00:26:14,782 --> 00:26:17,700 -Not a big talker, huh? -Depends on the topic. 382 00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:20,703 My fenders don't really whip me into a verbal frenzy. 383 00:26:20,788 --> 00:26:24,499 -You're not afraid of me, are you? -Why would I be afraid of you? 384 00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:27,085 -Well, most people are. -Well, I'm not. 385 00:26:27,169 --> 00:26:28,211 Well, maybe you're not afraid of me, 386 00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:31,130 but I'm sure you've thought about me naked. 387 00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,508 Am I that transparent? 388 00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:36,469 I want you, I need you. Oh, baby, oh, baby. 389 00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,231 What is it, asshole day? 390 00:26:48,899 --> 00:26:51,109 -Do you mind? -Not at all. 391 00:27:01,829 --> 00:27:03,413 You bitch! 392 00:27:07,584 --> 00:27:08,668 Whoops. 393 00:27:09,086 --> 00:27:10,503 "Whoops"? 394 00:27:11,588 --> 00:27:14,173 My insurance does not cover PMS! 395 00:27:16,135 --> 00:27:18,970 Well, then tell them I had a seizure. 396 00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:20,138 Is this about Sarah Lawrence? 397 00:27:20,222 --> 00:27:22,390 Are you punishing me because I want you to stay close to home? 398 00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:25,184 Aren't you punishing me because Mom left? 399 00:27:25,269 --> 00:27:27,186 You think you could leave her out of this? 400 00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:29,355 Fine. Then stop making my decisions for me. 401 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,357 I'm your father. That's my right. 402 00:27:31,442 --> 00:27:33,609 So what I want doesn't matter. 403 00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:35,361 You're 1 8. You don't know what you want. 404 00:27:35,446 --> 00:27:37,697 And you won't know what you want till you're 45, 405 00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:40,116 and even if you get it, you'll be too old to use it. 406 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,035 I want to go to an East Coast school! 407 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:43,703 I want you to trust me to make my own choices, 408 00:27:43,787 --> 00:27:45,580 and I want you to stop trying to control my life 409 00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:48,249 just because you can't control yours! 410 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:50,460 Yeah? Well, you know what I want? 411 00:27:53,630 --> 00:27:54,881 We'll continue this later. 412 00:27:54,965 --> 00:27:56,341 Can't wait. 413 00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:01,012 Did you just maim Joey's car? 414 00:28:01,096 --> 00:28:03,097 Yeah. Looks like you're gonna have to take the bus. 415 00:28:03,182 --> 00:28:05,308 Has the fact that you're completely psycho 416 00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:07,685 managed to escape your attention? 417 00:28:08,896 --> 00:28:10,104 Daddy! 418 00:28:15,361 --> 00:28:19,280 -When I shell out 50, I expect results. -Yeah, I'm on it. 419 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:22,909 Watching that bitch violate my car doesn't count as a date. 420 00:28:22,993 --> 00:28:25,953 Now, if you don't get any, I don't get any. 421 00:28:26,789 --> 00:28:28,373 So get some. 422 00:28:29,666 --> 00:28:31,542 I just upped my price. 423 00:28:32,086 --> 00:28:34,754 -What? -Hundred bucks a date. 424 00:28:35,589 --> 00:28:38,674 -In advance. -Forget it. 425 00:28:38,926 --> 00:28:41,177 Well, forget her sister, then. 426 00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:49,310 You better hope you're as smooth as you think you are, Verona. 427 00:29:01,031 --> 00:29:02,448 -Go. -No, you go. 428 00:29:02,533 --> 00:29:04,075 I went before. 429 00:29:12,751 --> 00:29:15,628 We know what you're trying to do with Kat Stratford. 430 00:29:15,712 --> 00:29:18,798 Is that right? What do you plan to do about it? 431 00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:21,134 -Help you out. -Why's that? 432 00:29:22,970 --> 00:29:24,303 The situation is, 433 00:29:24,388 --> 00:29:28,349 my man Cameron here has a majorjones for Bianca Stratford. 434 00:29:29,643 --> 00:29:31,769 What is it with this chick? She have beer-flavored nipples? 435 00:29:31,854 --> 00:29:35,440 -Hey! -I... I think I speak correctly 436 00:29:35,524 --> 00:29:38,151 when I say that Cameron's love is pure, 437 00:29:38,235 --> 00:29:40,069 purer than, say, Joey Donner's. 438 00:29:40,154 --> 00:29:42,405 I'm in this for the cash. Donner can plow whoever he wants. 439 00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:44,824 Okay, there will be no plowing. 440 00:29:45,492 --> 00:29:47,493 Patrick... Pat... 441 00:29:48,078 --> 00:29:50,204 Let me explain something to you here. 442 00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:54,167 We set this whole thing up so Cameron can get the girl. Cameron. 443 00:29:54,251 --> 00:29:56,043 Joey's just a pawn. 444 00:29:59,506 --> 00:30:01,340 So, you two are gonna help me tame the wild beast. 445 00:30:01,425 --> 00:30:02,550 Absolutely. 446 00:30:02,634 --> 00:30:05,636 We'll do some research, we'll find out what she likes. 447 00:30:05,721 --> 00:30:07,388 We're your guys. 448 00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:11,684 And he means that in a strictly non-prison movie type of way. 449 00:30:13,562 --> 00:30:14,770 Let's start here. 450 00:30:14,855 --> 00:30:18,524 Now, Friday night, Bogey Lozenstein is having a party. 451 00:30:18,609 --> 00:30:20,735 It's the perfect opportunity. 452 00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:24,489 -Perfect opportunity for what? -For you to take out Kat. 453 00:30:26,533 --> 00:30:28,201 I'll think about it. 454 00:30:29,536 --> 00:30:32,205 And for a little payback. 455 00:30:32,623 --> 00:30:34,415 This is gonna be some party. 456 00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:45,885 Let's do this. 457 00:31:06,740 --> 00:31:09,367 Now, this is really important, okay? 458 00:31:09,701 --> 00:31:11,994 Which one do you like better? 459 00:31:16,416 --> 00:31:19,752 I think I like the white shirt better. 460 00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:22,338 -Yeah, it's... It's more... -Pensive? 461 00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:26,217 Damn. I was going for thoughtful. 462 00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:27,927 So, are you going to Bogey Lozenbrau's thing 463 00:31:28,011 --> 00:31:29,470 on Friday night? 464 00:31:29,555 --> 00:31:31,222 Yeah, I might. 465 00:31:31,306 --> 00:31:35,393 Good, 'cause you know, I'm not gonna bother if you won't be there. 466 00:31:38,605 --> 00:31:39,981 See you there. 467 00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:41,774 -Okay. -All right. 468 00:31:58,375 --> 00:32:01,460 So, have you heard about Bogey Lowenstein's party? 469 00:32:01,545 --> 00:32:05,506 Yes, and I really, really, really want to go. 470 00:32:05,632 --> 00:32:09,218 But you know I can't. Not unless my sister does. 471 00:32:09,303 --> 00:32:11,721 Yeah, I know. I'm working on that, but so far, 472 00:32:11,805 --> 00:32:14,348 you know, she's not going for my guy. 473 00:32:14,641 --> 00:32:17,893 -She's not a... -K.D. Lang fan? No. 474 00:32:18,020 --> 00:32:20,521 I found a picture of Jared Leto in her drawer once, 475 00:32:20,606 --> 00:32:23,858 so I'm pretty sure she's not harboring same-sex tendencies. 476 00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:27,945 Okay, so that's the kind of guys she likes... Like, pretty guys. 477 00:32:28,030 --> 00:32:29,655 I don't know. All I've ever heard her say 478 00:32:29,740 --> 00:32:32,950 is that she'd die before dating a guy that smokes. 479 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,202 Okay, all right, no smoking. What else? 480 00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:37,204 You're asking me to investigate the inner workings 481 00:32:37,289 --> 00:32:39,165 of my sister's twisted mind? 482 00:32:39,249 --> 00:32:41,208 I don't think so. 483 00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:43,002 Well, nothing else has worked. 484 00:32:43,086 --> 00:32:45,838 We need to go behind enemy lines here. 485 00:32:50,636 --> 00:32:52,219 Okay, here we go. 486 00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,640 Class schedule, reading list, 487 00:32:55,724 --> 00:32:59,268 date book, concert tickets, concert tickets. 488 00:33:04,858 --> 00:33:07,068 Black panties! 489 00:33:07,152 --> 00:33:09,111 What does that tell us? 490 00:33:09,404 --> 00:33:11,697 She wants to have sex someday, that's what. 491 00:33:11,782 --> 00:33:14,116 You... She could just like the color. 492 00:33:14,201 --> 00:33:17,244 You don't buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it. 493 00:33:19,665 --> 00:33:23,668 So... Can I see your room? 494 00:33:25,170 --> 00:33:26,253 No. 495 00:33:29,841 --> 00:33:32,218 A girl's room is very personal. 496 00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:34,762 Oh, okay. 497 00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:48,734 -Nice bike. -Yeah, you think so? 498 00:34:03,625 --> 00:34:06,043 Wow. Is this what a bar looks like? 499 00:34:07,754 --> 00:34:10,756 Don't touch anything. You may get hepatitis. 500 00:34:22,602 --> 00:34:23,686 So, what have you got for me? 501 00:34:23,770 --> 00:34:27,356 A little insight into a very complicated girl. 502 00:34:28,191 --> 00:34:31,026 Excuse me. Just one question before we start. 503 00:34:31,153 --> 00:34:34,113 Should you be drinking alcohol when you don't have a liver? 504 00:34:34,197 --> 00:34:36,198 -What? -Nothing. Nothing. 505 00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:41,954 All right, first thing. Kat hates smokers. 506 00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:48,627 So, you're telling me I'm a non-smoker. 507 00:34:48,712 --> 00:34:53,090 -Yes. Well, just for now. -And here's another problem. 508 00:34:53,175 --> 00:34:56,844 Bianca said that Kat likes pretty guys. 509 00:35:04,436 --> 00:35:06,479 Are you telling me I'm not a pretty guy? 510 00:35:06,563 --> 00:35:07,813 He's very pretty! 511 00:35:07,898 --> 00:35:11,650 -This is a gorgeous guy. -I just wasn't sure. I didn't know. 512 00:35:14,070 --> 00:35:16,781 All right. Yeah, okay. Here's this. 513 00:35:18,909 --> 00:35:20,159 "Likes. 514 00:35:20,535 --> 00:35:24,622 "Thai food, feminist prose and angry girl music 515 00:35:24,706 --> 00:35:27,041 "of the indie rock persuasion." 516 00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:29,835 Here's a list of CDs she has in her room. 517 00:35:32,506 --> 00:35:34,507 So, I'm supposed to buy her some noodles and a book 518 00:35:34,591 --> 00:35:37,384 and sit around listening to chicks who can't play their instruments, right? 519 00:35:37,469 --> 00:35:39,887 Have you ever been to Club Skunk? 520 00:35:40,013 --> 00:35:42,681 Her favorite band's playing there tomorrow night. 521 00:35:42,766 --> 00:35:45,017 I can't be seen at Club Skunk, all right? 522 00:35:45,101 --> 00:35:46,852 But she'll be there. She's got tickets. 523 00:35:46,937 --> 00:35:49,271 Assail your ears for one night. 524 00:35:52,275 --> 00:35:54,944 She has a pair of black underwear. 525 00:35:55,403 --> 00:35:57,196 If that helps. 526 00:35:57,739 --> 00:35:59,532 Couldn't hurt, right? 527 00:37:16,902 --> 00:37:19,278 Verona! What are you doing here? 528 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:21,697 I need agua! 529 00:37:27,913 --> 00:37:29,496 Two waters. 530 00:37:37,255 --> 00:37:40,132 If you're planning on asking me out, you might as well just get it over with. 531 00:37:40,216 --> 00:37:43,636 Do you mind? You're kind of ruining this for me. 532 00:37:43,887 --> 00:37:46,096 You're not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke. 533 00:37:46,181 --> 00:37:49,141 I know. I quit. Apparently they're bad for you. 534 00:37:49,225 --> 00:37:50,601 You think? 535 00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:55,648 You know, these guys are no Bikini Kill or the Raincoats. 536 00:37:55,732 --> 00:37:57,733 But they're not bad. 537 00:38:01,571 --> 00:38:04,740 -You know who the Raincoats are? -Why, don't you? 538 00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:10,579 I was watching you out there before. I've never seen you look so sexy. 539 00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:24,385 -Come to Bogey's party with me. -You never give up, do you? 540 00:38:26,596 --> 00:38:27,805 Was that a yes? 541 00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:31,183 -No. -Well, then, was that a no? 542 00:38:31,267 --> 00:38:34,353 -No. -I'll see you at 9:30 then! 543 00:38:45,448 --> 00:38:47,616 Should have used the window. 544 00:38:48,368 --> 00:38:50,035 -Hi, Daddy. -Hi. 545 00:38:51,663 --> 00:38:53,330 Where are we going? 546 00:38:53,415 --> 00:38:56,875 Well, if you must know, a small study group of friends. 547 00:38:57,043 --> 00:38:59,211 Otherwise known as an orgy? 548 00:38:59,504 --> 00:39:01,547 Mr. Stratford, it's just a party. 549 00:39:01,631 --> 00:39:03,674 And hell is just a sauna. 550 00:39:04,718 --> 00:39:07,052 Do you know anything about a party? 551 00:39:07,220 --> 00:39:10,973 -People expect me to be there. -Kat's not going, you're not going. 552 00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:13,392 Why can't you be normal? 553 00:39:13,476 --> 00:39:16,228 -Define "normal." -Bogey Lozenstein's party is normal. 554 00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:18,897 -What's a Bogey Lozenstein? -Bogey's party is just a lame excuse 555 00:39:18,982 --> 00:39:20,691 for all the idiots at our school to drink beer 556 00:39:20,775 --> 00:39:22,151 and rub up against each other 557 00:39:22,235 --> 00:39:24,361 in hopes of distracting themselves from the pathetic emptiness 558 00:39:24,446 --> 00:39:25,529 of their meaningless... 559 00:39:25,613 --> 00:39:28,407 -Meaningless, consumer-driven lives. -Meaningless, consumer-driven lives. 560 00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,118 Can you, forjust one night, 561 00:39:31,202 --> 00:39:34,663 forget that you're completely wretched and be my sister? 562 00:39:34,914 --> 00:39:39,126 Please? 563 00:39:41,838 --> 00:39:44,882 Come on, Kat. Please do this for me. 564 00:39:47,260 --> 00:39:49,136 Fine. I'll make an appearance. 565 00:39:55,060 --> 00:39:57,978 -It's starting. -It's just a party, Daddy. 566 00:40:01,024 --> 00:40:03,233 I want you to wear the belly. 567 00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:04,943 Daddy, no. 568 00:40:05,570 --> 00:40:07,071 Not all night. 569 00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:10,032 Just around the living room for a minute so you can understand 570 00:40:10,116 --> 00:40:12,743 the full weight of your decisions. 571 00:40:14,788 --> 00:40:16,955 -I am perfectly aware... -Listen to me. 572 00:40:17,040 --> 00:40:19,374 Every time you even think about kissing a boy, 573 00:40:19,459 --> 00:40:22,169 I want you to picture wearing this under your halter top. 574 00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:24,338 You are so completely unbalanced. 575 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:27,299 -We're going now. -All right, wait a minute. 576 00:40:27,634 --> 00:40:29,551 No drinking, no drugs, no kissing, 577 00:40:29,636 --> 00:40:33,847 no tattoos, no piercings, no ritual animal slaughters of any kind. 578 00:40:34,182 --> 00:40:36,141 Oh, God, I'm giving them ideas. 579 00:40:36,643 --> 00:40:37,851 Daddy! 580 00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:41,480 -What are you doing here? -9:30, right? 581 00:40:41,648 --> 00:40:44,983 -Oh, I'm early. -Whatever. I'm driving. 582 00:40:46,194 --> 00:40:48,153 Who knocked up your sister? 583 00:40:51,324 --> 00:40:53,700 So then, Bianca says that I was right, 584 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:56,453 that she didn't wear the Kenneth Coles with that dress 585 00:40:56,538 --> 00:41:00,165 because she thought that it was mixing genres, right? 586 00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:04,128 And the fact that I noticed, and this is a direct quote, listen, 587 00:41:04,212 --> 00:41:06,505 "Really meant something." 588 00:41:06,589 --> 00:41:08,841 You told me that part already. 589 00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:10,801 I've been thinking about her all the time. 590 00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:15,430 Stop being so self-involved for one minute. How do I look? 591 00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:18,934 You look like my Great Uncle Milton. 592 00:41:19,185 --> 00:41:21,395 -You think I should lose the tie? -Yeah. 593 00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,064 Maybe you're right. I'm just so nervous. 594 00:41:24,149 --> 00:41:27,025 And I'm also very excited. I'm nervous, I'm excited. 595 00:41:27,193 --> 00:41:28,986 It's all very mixed up. I don't know what to do! 596 00:41:29,070 --> 00:41:31,780 All right, just calm down, all right? 597 00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:35,117 The last party I went to was at Chuck E. Cheese. 598 00:41:35,743 --> 00:41:39,079 You want to talk about some fun. That's a good time. 599 00:42:02,896 --> 00:42:05,731 Now, remember, guys. Don't touch anything. 600 00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:10,736 What did I tell you? 601 00:42:12,906 --> 00:42:15,115 Must be Nigel with the Brie. 602 00:42:41,768 --> 00:42:44,895 You know, I'm... I'm thinking of getting a Tercel. 603 00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:47,981 Yeah, that's a Toyota. 604 00:42:49,776 --> 00:42:53,278 It has dual side air bags and a spacious back seat. 605 00:43:00,078 --> 00:43:02,371 -Kiss me! -Kiss him. 606 00:43:02,455 --> 00:43:03,914 -Okay. -Good. 607 00:43:08,127 --> 00:43:09,211 Hey, thanks, man! 608 00:43:13,174 --> 00:43:14,466 Sweet. 609 00:43:15,510 --> 00:43:17,886 Looking fresh tonight, pussycat. 610 00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:21,682 Wait. Was that... Did your hairline just recede? 611 00:43:22,767 --> 00:43:25,102 -Hey, where are you goin'? -Away. 612 00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:27,980 -Your sister here? -Stay away from my sister. 613 00:43:28,064 --> 00:43:30,691 Oh, I'll stay away from your sister. 614 00:43:30,817 --> 00:43:33,151 But I can't guarantee she'll stay away from me. 615 00:43:33,653 --> 00:43:37,489 -Fight! -Fight! 616 00:43:45,164 --> 00:43:47,040 You guys, please! Take it outside! 617 00:43:53,089 --> 00:43:54,548 Thank you! 618 00:43:56,968 --> 00:43:59,678 Hey, Kat. Look who found me. 619 00:44:01,180 --> 00:44:04,391 -Bianca, wait. -Please do not address me in public. 620 00:44:04,475 --> 00:44:05,684 No, there's something I need to tell you. 621 00:44:05,768 --> 00:44:10,105 I am busy enjoying my adolescence, so scamper off and do the same. 622 00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:11,356 Bu-bye. 623 00:44:14,902 --> 00:44:16,153 Want one? 624 00:44:17,071 --> 00:44:19,489 -What is this? -Right on, sister! 625 00:44:20,825 --> 00:44:22,868 I've been looking all over the place for you. 626 00:44:22,952 --> 00:44:25,662 I'm getting trashed, man. Isn't that what you're supposed to do at a party? 627 00:44:25,747 --> 00:44:28,040 I don't know. I say do what you want to do. 628 00:44:28,124 --> 00:44:30,125 Funny. You're the only one. 629 00:44:30,501 --> 00:44:31,710 Later. 630 00:44:44,432 --> 00:44:46,975 Lord of the dance! Hi, Heather. 631 00:44:47,060 --> 00:44:49,895 -Bite me. -Should've kept the tie. 632 00:44:50,063 --> 00:44:52,939 Hey. Hey, have you seen her around anywhere? 633 00:44:53,149 --> 00:44:55,192 -Relax. -Relax? I'm fine. 634 00:44:56,361 --> 00:44:57,861 Follow the love. 635 00:45:00,948 --> 00:45:02,324 Hi, Bianca. 636 00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:04,951 Oh, hi, Cameron. 637 00:45:07,330 --> 00:45:09,289 You know Chastity? 638 00:45:10,333 --> 00:45:13,585 Yeah. I think we have art together, right? 639 00:45:13,669 --> 00:45:14,836 Neat. 640 00:45:16,756 --> 00:45:18,757 So, you... 641 00:45:19,425 --> 00:45:21,385 You really look amazing. 642 00:45:22,762 --> 00:45:25,597 -Thanks. -And we all know I look amazing. 643 00:45:27,141 --> 00:45:28,225 Yeah. 644 00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:32,145 Bianca, let's go. We're all congregating around Mr. Cuervo. 645 00:45:32,855 --> 00:45:34,898 I'll see you around, okay? 646 00:45:47,787 --> 00:45:49,704 So, I've got the Sears catalog thing going, 647 00:45:49,789 --> 00:45:53,041 and the tube sock gig, that is gonna be huge. 648 00:45:55,962 --> 00:45:58,296 And I'm up for a hemorrhoid cream ad next week. 649 00:45:58,381 --> 00:46:00,882 I know it sounds kind of bogus, but... 650 00:46:00,967 --> 00:46:03,009 I get to do some acting. 651 00:46:11,561 --> 00:46:13,603 You see what I did there? 652 00:46:14,814 --> 00:46:18,024 That was underwear. I'll show you the bathing suit one again. 653 00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:22,904 You see the difference? 654 00:46:24,574 --> 00:46:26,491 All right, I'll show you guys. 655 00:46:57,356 --> 00:47:00,025 Is it me, or does this party all of a sudden suck? 656 00:47:06,824 --> 00:47:08,950 Really, really, 657 00:47:09,076 --> 00:47:10,452 thank you! 658 00:47:11,370 --> 00:47:13,914 Hey. Hey, Kat, why don't you let me have this one, huh? 659 00:47:13,998 --> 00:47:15,790 No! This one's mine. 660 00:47:16,918 --> 00:47:19,878 My man! How did you get her to do it? 661 00:47:19,962 --> 00:47:21,671 -Do what? -Act like a human. 662 00:47:24,133 --> 00:47:25,717 Yeah! All right! 663 00:47:26,511 --> 00:47:27,594 Go! 664 00:47:32,308 --> 00:47:33,725 See this? 665 00:48:05,967 --> 00:48:08,009 -Are you okay? -I'm fine. 666 00:48:10,930 --> 00:48:12,931 You're not fine. Come on. 667 00:48:14,684 --> 00:48:15,934 I just need to lie down. 668 00:48:16,018 --> 00:48:18,311 You lie down and you'll go to sleep. 669 00:48:18,396 --> 00:48:21,064 -Sleep is good. -Not if you have a concussion. 670 00:48:21,274 --> 00:48:23,233 Come on. Here, sit down. 671 00:48:24,569 --> 00:48:27,112 -Sit. -Hey, hey, we need to talk. 672 00:48:27,196 --> 00:48:30,782 -I'm a little busy right now. -Can you give me a second? 673 00:48:35,037 --> 00:48:37,247 -What? -It's off, okay? The whole thing's off. 674 00:48:37,331 --> 00:48:39,416 What are you talking about? 675 00:48:40,126 --> 00:48:43,169 She never wanted me. She wanted Joey the whole time. 676 00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:45,422 Cameron, do you like the girl? 677 00:48:45,881 --> 00:48:48,800 -Yeah. -And is she worth all this trouble? 678 00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:50,802 I thought she was, but, you know, I... 679 00:48:50,886 --> 00:48:52,804 Well, she is or she isn't. 680 00:48:52,888 --> 00:48:55,473 See, first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. 681 00:48:55,558 --> 00:48:57,475 Secondly, don't let anyone ever make you feel 682 00:48:57,560 --> 00:49:00,186 like you don't deserve what you want. 683 00:49:00,730 --> 00:49:02,105 Go for it! 684 00:49:06,068 --> 00:49:07,611 -Come on. -Why? 685 00:49:18,414 --> 00:49:19,581 This is so patronizing. 686 00:49:19,665 --> 00:49:22,250 Leave it to you to use big words when you're smashed. 687 00:49:22,335 --> 00:49:25,337 -I don't think so. -Kat. 688 00:49:27,173 --> 00:49:30,258 -Why are you doing this? -I told you. You may have a concussion. 689 00:49:30,343 --> 00:49:31,885 You don't care if I never wake up. 690 00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:34,012 -Sure I do. -Why? 691 00:49:34,263 --> 00:49:37,182 Because then I'd have to start taking out girls who actually like me. 692 00:49:37,266 --> 00:49:39,392 -Like you could find one. -Oh, see? That, there. 693 00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:41,561 Who needs affection when I have blind hatred? 694 00:49:41,646 --> 00:49:45,106 -I just... Let me sit down for a while. -All right. There. 695 00:50:00,539 --> 00:50:02,624 -So, why'd you let him get to you? -Who? 696 00:50:02,708 --> 00:50:04,918 -Joey. -I hate him. 697 00:50:07,046 --> 00:50:10,674 Well, you've chosen the perfect revenge, mainlining tequila. 698 00:50:12,051 --> 00:50:15,512 -Well, you know what they say. -Nope. What do they say? 699 00:50:16,722 --> 00:50:19,933 No, no, no, no. Kat, come on, wake up! Look at me! 700 00:50:20,476 --> 00:50:23,019 Listen to me, Kat! Open your eyes! 701 00:50:28,943 --> 00:50:30,068 Hey. 702 00:50:31,070 --> 00:50:33,238 Your eyes have a little green in them. 703 00:50:51,257 --> 00:50:52,674 I don't know if we should go. 704 00:50:52,758 --> 00:50:55,677 Hey, a bunch of us are going to Jarrett's. Ready? 705 00:50:55,761 --> 00:50:58,263 I have to be home in 20 minutes. 706 00:50:58,431 --> 00:51:01,683 Well, you know I don't have to be home till 2:00, so... 707 00:51:02,017 --> 00:51:05,729 -One more chance. -Man, I can't. 708 00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:07,981 -Damn. -That's a shame. 709 00:51:09,358 --> 00:51:11,276 -You wanna go? -Sure. 710 00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,445 -Chastity! -Hey, you passed. 711 00:51:14,530 --> 00:51:15,739 Bitch. 712 00:51:20,327 --> 00:51:22,829 -Hey. Have fun tonight? -Tons. 713 00:51:23,873 --> 00:51:26,082 Hey, Cameron? 714 00:51:27,460 --> 00:51:30,420 Do you think you could give me a ride home? 715 00:51:33,924 --> 00:51:35,633 I should do this. 716 00:51:35,718 --> 00:51:37,427 -Do what? -This! 717 00:51:38,637 --> 00:51:41,473 -Start a band? -No, install car stereos. 718 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:45,143 Yeah, start a band. My father would love that. 719 00:51:58,532 --> 00:52:02,494 You don't strike me as the type that would ask your father for permission. 720 00:52:02,578 --> 00:52:05,997 -Oh, so now you think you know me? -I'm getting there. 721 00:52:06,081 --> 00:52:09,501 The only thing people know about me is that I'm scary. 722 00:52:10,836 --> 00:52:13,505 Yeah, well, I'm no picnic myself. 723 00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:25,517 So what's up with your dad? Is he... Is he a pain in the ass? 724 00:52:25,601 --> 00:52:27,977 No, he just wants me to be somebody that I'm not. 725 00:52:28,062 --> 00:52:29,771 -Who? -Bianca. 726 00:52:29,855 --> 00:52:31,272 Oh, Bianca. 727 00:52:35,110 --> 00:52:38,071 No offense or anything... I mean I know everyone "digs" your sister, 728 00:52:38,155 --> 00:52:40,865 but she's without. 729 00:52:48,374 --> 00:52:49,624 You know, 730 00:52:51,710 --> 00:52:54,462 you're not as vile as I thought you were. 731 00:53:05,099 --> 00:53:07,809 Maybe we should do this another time. 732 00:53:52,396 --> 00:53:55,481 You never wanted to go sailing with me, did you? 733 00:53:56,984 --> 00:53:58,276 Yes, I did. 734 00:53:59,695 --> 00:54:01,154 No, you didn't. 735 00:54:02,907 --> 00:54:05,533 Okay, no, not actually... 736 00:54:05,618 --> 00:54:08,328 Well, then that's all you had to say. 737 00:54:10,539 --> 00:54:12,999 Have you always been this selfish? 738 00:54:16,128 --> 00:54:17,503 Yes. 739 00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:22,759 You know, just 'cause you're beautiful, 740 00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:27,013 that doesn't mean that you can treat people like they don't matter. 741 00:54:27,264 --> 00:54:30,099 I mean, I really liked you, okay. 742 00:54:30,184 --> 00:54:33,019 I defended you when people called you conceited, 743 00:54:33,103 --> 00:54:35,188 I helped you when you asked me to, 744 00:54:35,272 --> 00:54:39,442 I learned French for you and then you just blow me off so you could... 745 00:55:09,765 --> 00:55:11,849 And I'm back in the game! 746 00:55:15,312 --> 00:55:19,607 Kat, me lady. You szay to the rhythm of me heart. 747 00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:21,609 Dance for me, cozgirl. 748 00:55:21,735 --> 00:55:24,988 Kat, babe, what do we oze you for the table dance? 749 00:55:26,115 --> 00:55:28,574 All right, not that I give a damn, but how was everybody's weekend? 750 00:55:28,659 --> 00:55:31,452 Oh, I don't know. Maybe we should ask Kat. 751 00:55:32,037 --> 00:55:34,163 Unless she kicked the crap out of your dumb butt, 752 00:55:34,248 --> 00:55:36,207 I don't wanna hear about it. 753 00:55:36,291 --> 00:55:41,045 Okay, let's open up our books to page 73, Sonnet 141. 754 00:55:41,130 --> 00:55:42,588 And listen up. 755 00:55:42,673 --> 00:55:44,632 "In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes 756 00:55:44,717 --> 00:55:46,843 "For they in thee a thousand errors note 757 00:55:46,927 --> 00:55:49,053 "But 'tis my heart that loves what they despise 758 00:55:49,138 --> 00:55:51,973 "Who, in despite of view, is pleas'd to dote" 759 00:55:53,600 --> 00:55:56,769 Now, I know Shakespeare's a dead white guy, 760 00:55:56,854 --> 00:55:59,397 but he knozs his shit, so we can overlook that. 761 00:55:59,481 --> 00:56:02,233 I want you all to write your own version of this sonnet. 762 00:56:04,653 --> 00:56:07,697 Yes, Miss I-Have-An-Opinion- About-Everything? 763 00:56:07,865 --> 00:56:10,491 Do you want this in iambic pentameter? 764 00:56:11,326 --> 00:56:13,036 You're not gonna fight me on this? 765 00:56:13,120 --> 00:56:15,872 No, I think it's a really good assignment. 766 00:56:16,832 --> 00:56:18,207 You're just messin' with me, aren't you? 767 00:56:18,292 --> 00:56:21,127 No, I'm really looking forward to writing it. 768 00:56:21,211 --> 00:56:22,462 Get out of my class. 769 00:56:22,546 --> 00:56:24,881 -What? -Out. Get out! 770 00:56:31,805 --> 00:56:34,098 -Thanks, Mr. Morgan. -Shut up. 771 00:56:57,831 --> 00:57:00,708 Hey. Cool picture. 772 00:57:01,710 --> 00:57:04,462 What's that collar for? Is that to keep him from licking his stitches? 773 00:57:08,092 --> 00:57:12,178 Kidding. No, because I know you're a fan of Shakespeare. 774 00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:15,556 More than a fan. We're involved. 775 00:57:16,517 --> 00:57:17,683 Okay. 776 00:57:19,353 --> 00:57:22,313 "Who could refrain That had a heart to love 777 00:57:23,065 --> 00:57:26,651 -"and in that heart..." -"Courage to make love known." 778 00:57:27,528 --> 00:57:29,946 -That's Macbeth, right? -Right. 779 00:57:32,324 --> 00:57:35,284 So, listen, I... I have this friend, 780 00:57:36,328 --> 00:57:38,329 and he likes your friend... 781 00:57:45,712 --> 00:57:47,547 What did you do to her? 782 00:57:47,631 --> 00:57:49,924 I didn't do anything. She would've been too drunk to remember. 783 00:57:50,008 --> 00:57:51,801 But the plan was working. 784 00:57:51,885 --> 00:57:54,679 What do you care? I thought you wanted out. 785 00:57:55,013 --> 00:57:57,473 Yeah, well, I did, but 786 00:57:57,558 --> 00:57:59,684 that was until she kissed me. 787 00:58:01,019 --> 00:58:03,146 -Where? -In the car. 788 00:58:06,567 --> 00:58:07,650 Sorry. 789 00:58:07,734 --> 00:58:09,569 -Dweeb! Putz! -I'm sorry. 790 00:58:09,653 --> 00:58:11,571 All right, I talked to her. 791 00:58:11,655 --> 00:58:12,905 -I got the scoop. -What'd she say? 792 00:58:12,990 --> 00:58:15,449 "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." 793 00:58:15,534 --> 00:58:17,368 That's a direct quote. 794 00:58:17,870 --> 00:58:21,038 Thanks, Michael. That's very comforting of you. 795 00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:24,959 We don't know. She could need a day to cool off. 796 00:58:31,842 --> 00:58:33,217 Maybe two. 797 00:58:43,145 --> 00:58:44,187 Hey! 798 00:58:44,271 --> 00:58:48,065 Can you imagine who would go to that antiquated mating ritual? 799 00:58:48,275 --> 00:58:50,610 I would, but I don't have a date. 800 00:58:51,028 --> 00:58:52,403 Do you really want to get all dressed up, 801 00:58:52,487 --> 00:58:55,907 so some Drakkar Noir-wearing dexter with a boner can feel you up 802 00:58:55,991 --> 00:58:59,202 while you're forced to listen to a band that by definition blozs? 803 00:58:59,286 --> 00:59:01,204 All right, all right, we won't go. 804 00:59:01,288 --> 00:59:03,873 It's not like I've got a dress anyway. 805 00:59:04,333 --> 00:59:06,792 You're looking at this from entirely the wrong perspective. 806 00:59:06,877 --> 00:59:08,377 We're making a statement. 807 00:59:08,462 --> 00:59:11,881 Oh, goody. Something new and different for us. 808 00:59:29,149 --> 00:59:32,610 -Hey there, Cupid. -Hi, Joey. 809 00:59:33,070 --> 00:59:36,405 You're concentrating awfully hard considering it's gym class. 810 00:59:37,324 --> 00:59:40,451 -Can I help you? -I want to talk to you about prom. 811 00:59:46,083 --> 00:59:49,085 Look, you know the deal. I can't go if Kat doesn't go. 812 00:59:49,169 --> 00:59:51,087 Your sister is going. 813 00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:56,259 -Since when? -Let's just say I'm taking care of it. 814 01:00:01,348 --> 01:00:04,809 This should take care of the flozers, the limo, the tux, everything. 815 01:00:04,893 --> 01:00:07,353 Just make sure she gets to the prom. 816 01:00:07,729 --> 01:00:11,023 Do you know what? I'm sick of playing your little game. 817 01:00:11,108 --> 01:00:12,942 Okay, wait, wait, wait. 818 01:00:13,026 --> 01:00:16,445 You sick of, let's say, 300? 819 01:01:39,112 --> 01:01:41,113 Excuse me. Have you seen The Feminine Mystique? 820 01:01:41,198 --> 01:01:42,323 I've lost my copy. 821 01:01:42,407 --> 01:01:45,493 -What are you doing here? -I heard there was a poetry reading. 822 01:01:45,577 --> 01:01:47,495 -You're so... -Charming. 823 01:01:48,413 --> 01:01:50,206 Wholesome. 824 01:01:50,290 --> 01:01:51,791 Unwelcome. 825 01:01:54,544 --> 01:01:56,879 You're not as mean as you think you are, you know that? 826 01:01:56,963 --> 01:01:59,382 And you're not as badass as you think you are. 827 01:01:59,466 --> 01:02:01,801 Someone still has her panties in a twist. 828 01:02:01,885 --> 01:02:05,137 Don't for one minute think that you had any effect whatsoever on my panties. 829 01:02:05,222 --> 01:02:06,680 Then what did I have an effect on? 830 01:02:06,765 --> 01:02:09,558 Other than my upchuck reflex, nothing. 831 01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:24,240 You're right, she's still pissed. 832 01:02:24,324 --> 01:02:26,367 "Sweet love, renew thy force" 833 01:02:26,451 --> 01:02:30,413 Hey! Don't say shit like that to me. People can hear you. 834 01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,373 Look, you embarrassed the girl. 835 01:02:32,457 --> 01:02:36,085 Sacrifice yourself on the altar of dignity and even the score. 836 01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:42,425 Listen, don't say shit like that to him. 837 01:02:42,759 --> 01:02:44,593 People can hear you. 838 01:03:15,083 --> 01:03:18,919 You're just too good to be true 839 01:03:19,004 --> 01:03:22,798 Can't take my eyes off of you 840 01:03:22,883 --> 01:03:25,843 You'd be like heaven to touch 841 01:03:26,511 --> 01:03:29,430 l wanna hold you so much 842 01:03:30,432 --> 01:03:33,684 At long last love has arrived 843 01:03:34,436 --> 01:03:37,438 And l thank God l'm alive 844 01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:41,233 You're just too good to be true 845 01:03:42,068 --> 01:03:45,946 Can't take my eyes off of you 846 01:04:02,964 --> 01:04:05,633 l love you, baby 847 01:04:05,717 --> 01:04:09,553 And if it's quite all right l need you, baby 848 01:04:09,638 --> 01:04:13,849 To warm the lonely night l love you, baby 849 01:04:14,100 --> 01:04:18,312 Trust in me when l say 850 01:04:18,396 --> 01:04:20,940 Oh, pretty baby 851 01:04:21,024 --> 01:04:24,818 Don't bring me down, l pray Oh, pretty baby 852 01:04:24,903 --> 01:04:30,157 Now that l found you, stay and let me love you, baby 853 01:04:30,242 --> 01:04:35,037 Let me love you 854 01:05:20,625 --> 01:05:22,751 You look pretty nervous. 855 01:05:23,628 --> 01:05:25,379 Yes, sir. 856 01:05:25,463 --> 01:05:27,548 You're szeating like a pig. 857 01:05:28,383 --> 01:05:29,717 Yes, sir. 858 01:05:29,801 --> 01:05:32,219 Your eyes are all bloodshot. 859 01:05:33,763 --> 01:05:34,888 Yes, sir. 860 01:05:34,973 --> 01:05:37,349 You've got pot, don't you? 861 01:05:43,523 --> 01:05:45,524 I'm confiscating this. 862 01:05:55,035 --> 01:05:56,452 This, too. 863 01:06:01,207 --> 01:06:03,959 Mr. Chapin, can I talk to you for a second? 864 01:06:04,044 --> 01:06:05,628 What can I do for you, Stratford? 865 01:06:05,712 --> 01:06:08,631 I have some ideas on how we can improve the girls' soccer team. 866 01:06:08,715 --> 01:06:11,050 Great! Let's talk about it later. 867 01:06:13,720 --> 01:06:18,140 The window. 868 01:06:20,894 --> 01:06:23,562 As you know, we have a really big game with Hillcrest High... 869 01:06:23,647 --> 01:06:25,147 Your bicep is huge! 870 01:06:25,231 --> 01:06:27,900 Oh, my God. The other one's even bigger. 871 01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:30,569 You don't take steroids, do you, because I've heard steroids 872 01:06:30,695 --> 01:06:33,238 can severely disintegrate your package? 873 01:06:34,407 --> 01:06:36,158 Not that I'm thinking about your package. 874 01:06:36,242 --> 01:06:38,369 -That's not the point. -Let's hope not. 875 01:06:39,537 --> 01:06:42,164 The point is they kick our butts every year. 876 01:06:42,248 --> 01:06:46,877 I was thinking, I devised a plan that will enable us to finally defeat them. 877 01:06:47,003 --> 01:06:48,420 Which is? 878 01:06:48,838 --> 01:06:51,757 -That thing that you taught us. -What thing? 879 01:06:52,092 --> 01:06:54,093 -Misdirection. -I taught you that? 880 01:06:54,177 --> 01:06:57,930 Yeah, you or Siegfried or Roy? Anyway, that's not important. 881 01:06:59,099 --> 01:07:00,683 The... Think about it. 882 01:07:00,767 --> 01:07:03,435 They're looking left and we're running right. 883 01:07:03,561 --> 01:07:05,604 Bang, we score. We win. 884 01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:08,440 Okay, but how do we get 'em to look left? 885 01:07:10,276 --> 01:07:11,777 Like this. 886 01:07:19,285 --> 01:07:21,620 Okay. Well, 887 01:07:22,914 --> 01:07:25,290 now that you've seen "the plan," 888 01:07:25,583 --> 01:07:29,878 I'm gonna go and show "the plan" to someone else. 889 01:07:31,923 --> 01:07:33,048 Okay. 890 01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:34,925 Hi. 891 01:07:43,643 --> 01:07:46,145 I can't thank you enough for helping me sneak out of detention. 892 01:07:46,271 --> 01:07:48,147 -Very cool. -No problem. 893 01:07:48,314 --> 01:07:51,483 I thought for sure I was busted when I was climbing out that window, I tell ya. 894 01:07:51,568 --> 01:07:53,902 So, how did you keep him distracted? 895 01:07:53,987 --> 01:07:56,739 I dazzled him with my wits. 896 01:08:00,452 --> 01:08:02,828 -So, what's your excuse? -For? 897 01:08:03,163 --> 01:08:05,122 For acting the way we do? 898 01:08:06,166 --> 01:08:08,417 I don't like to do what people expect. 899 01:08:08,501 --> 01:08:11,670 Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own? 900 01:08:11,796 --> 01:08:15,090 So, you disappoint 'em from the start and then you're covered, right? 901 01:08:16,342 --> 01:08:18,343 Something like that. 902 01:08:19,679 --> 01:08:22,181 -Then you screzed up. -How? 903 01:08:23,975 --> 01:08:26,018 You never disappointed me. 904 01:08:34,819 --> 01:08:36,361 Are you up for it? 905 01:08:37,030 --> 01:08:38,530 Up for what? 906 01:10:01,739 --> 01:10:03,365 All right, come on. 907 01:10:18,464 --> 01:10:20,465 No, none of that stuff is true. 908 01:10:20,592 --> 01:10:23,969 -State trooper. -Fallacy. Dead guy in the parking lot? 909 01:10:24,095 --> 01:10:25,971 Rumor. The duck? 910 01:10:26,055 --> 01:10:28,307 Hearsay. Bobby Ridgezay's balls? 911 01:10:28,641 --> 01:10:31,143 Fact. But he deserved it. He tried to grope me in the lunch line. 912 01:10:31,269 --> 01:10:33,270 -Fair enough. -The accent? 913 01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:37,149 It's real. I lived in Australia until I was 1 0. 914 01:10:37,483 --> 01:10:40,277 -With the Pygmies? -Close. 915 01:10:40,486 --> 01:10:41,987 With my mom. 916 01:10:43,656 --> 01:10:46,825 Where were you last year? I know the porn career is a lie. 917 01:10:46,910 --> 01:10:48,243 Do you? 918 01:10:56,502 --> 01:10:59,296 -Tell me something true. -Something true. 919 01:11:02,342 --> 01:11:03,800 I hate peas. 920 01:11:04,344 --> 01:11:07,930 No. Something real. Something no one else knozs. 921 01:11:08,097 --> 01:11:10,515 Okay. You're szeet, 922 01:11:13,186 --> 01:11:14,686 and sexy, 923 01:11:16,481 --> 01:11:18,523 and completely hot for me. 924 01:11:20,193 --> 01:11:22,945 You are amazingly self-assured. Has anyone ever told you that? 925 01:11:23,029 --> 01:11:25,864 I tell myself that every day, actually. 926 01:11:28,993 --> 01:11:32,788 -Go to the prom with me. -Is that a request or a command? 927 01:11:32,872 --> 01:11:35,040 Come on. Go with me. 928 01:11:35,541 --> 01:11:38,543 -No. -No? Why not? 929 01:11:39,045 --> 01:11:41,046 Because I don't want to. Because it's a stupid tradition. 930 01:11:41,172 --> 01:11:43,882 Come on. People won't expect you to go. 931 01:11:44,717 --> 01:11:46,843 Why are you pushing this? 932 01:11:49,222 --> 01:11:51,014 What's in it for you? 933 01:11:54,560 --> 01:11:58,146 So now I need to have a motive to want to be with you? 934 01:11:58,231 --> 01:11:59,731 You tell me. 935 01:12:01,901 --> 01:12:03,235 You need therapy, you know that? 936 01:12:03,361 --> 01:12:05,862 Has anyone ever told you that? 937 01:12:06,698 --> 01:12:08,573 -Anszer the question, Patrick. -Nothing! 938 01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:09,658 There is nothing in it for me, 939 01:12:09,742 --> 01:12:12,327 just the pleasure of your company. Okay? 940 01:12:37,228 --> 01:12:40,188 Wait. Wait a minute. That... That's not on this page. 941 01:13:19,771 --> 01:13:20,979 Seven! 942 01:13:23,983 --> 01:13:25,150 Good. 943 01:13:29,489 --> 01:13:31,782 -Daddy? -Hi, honey. 944 01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:37,079 I'd like to discuss tomorrow night with you. As you know, it's the prom... 945 01:13:42,919 --> 01:13:45,337 The prom? Kat has a date? 946 01:13:46,172 --> 01:13:47,672 Well, no. 947 01:13:49,008 --> 01:13:50,092 Don't think you're fooling me. 948 01:13:50,176 --> 01:13:51,510 I know who you wanna bend the rules for. 949 01:13:51,594 --> 01:13:53,512 It's that hot-rod Joey. 950 01:13:53,596 --> 01:13:55,263 What's a hot rod? 951 01:13:56,015 --> 01:14:00,435 It's a... If your sister's not going, you're not going. End of story. 952 01:14:01,437 --> 01:14:03,188 Okay, let's review. 953 01:14:03,314 --> 01:14:06,358 Kat, not interested, me, dying to go. 954 01:14:06,609 --> 01:14:08,693 Do you know what happens at proms? 955 01:14:08,778 --> 01:14:11,530 Yes, Daddy. We'll dance, we'll kiss, we'll come home. 956 01:14:11,614 --> 01:14:14,116 It's not quite the crisis situation you imagine. 957 01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:16,284 Kissing, huh? That's what you think happens? 958 01:14:16,369 --> 01:14:17,452 Got nezs for you. 959 01:14:17,537 --> 01:14:22,040 Kissing isn't what keeps me up to my elbozs in placenta all day long. 960 01:14:22,542 --> 01:14:25,460 Can we for two seconds ignore the fact that you're severely unhinged, 961 01:14:25,545 --> 01:14:28,046 and discuss my need for a night of teenage normalcy? 962 01:14:28,131 --> 01:14:31,216 What's normal? Those damn Dazson's River kids, 963 01:14:31,300 --> 01:14:34,052 sleeping in each other's beds and whatnot? 964 01:14:34,637 --> 01:14:36,805 -Daddy, that is so not... -Got nezs for ya. 965 01:14:36,889 --> 01:14:38,557 I'm down. I've got the 4-1 -1 . 966 01:14:38,641 --> 01:14:40,976 And you are not going out and getting jiggy with some boy. 967 01:14:41,060 --> 01:14:43,562 I don't care how dope his ride is. 968 01:14:48,568 --> 01:14:50,986 My mama didn't raise no fool. 969 01:14:52,405 --> 01:14:53,905 Thanks, Bill. 970 01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:58,785 Ridiculous amounts of love across this nation worldwide. 971 01:14:59,203 --> 01:15:00,412 Believe it. 972 01:15:01,747 --> 01:15:03,665 This is the true story. 973 01:15:05,251 --> 01:15:06,418 Seattle. 974 01:15:08,921 --> 01:15:10,338 Come in. 975 01:15:16,596 --> 01:15:18,263 Listen, I know... 976 01:15:21,267 --> 01:15:24,436 I know you hate having to sit at home because I'm not Suzy High School. 977 01:15:24,562 --> 01:15:26,771 -Like you care. -I do care. 978 01:15:27,940 --> 01:15:30,609 But I'm a firm believer in doing something for your own reasons, 979 01:15:30,693 --> 01:15:32,694 and not someone else's. 980 01:15:33,613 --> 01:15:35,614 Well, I wish I had that luxury. 981 01:15:35,698 --> 01:15:38,450 You know, I'm the only sophomore that got asked to go to the prom, 982 01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:41,453 and I can't go because you don't feel like it. 983 01:15:45,458 --> 01:15:48,710 Joey never told you that we went out, did he? 984 01:15:48,794 --> 01:15:52,297 -Yeah, okay. -In ninth, for a month. 985 01:15:58,971 --> 01:16:02,265 -Why? -Because he was, like, such a babe. 986 01:16:03,309 --> 01:16:06,102 -But you hate Joey. -Now I do. 987 01:16:06,979 --> 01:16:08,480 So, what happened? 988 01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:17,739 Please tell me you're joking. 989 01:16:17,823 --> 01:16:21,243 Just once, right after Mom left. 990 01:16:22,495 --> 01:16:24,913 Everyone was doing it, so... 991 01:16:24,997 --> 01:16:26,331 I did it. 992 01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:30,669 Afterwards I told him I didn't want to anymore because I wasn't ready, 993 01:16:30,795 --> 01:16:33,296 and he got pissed and he dumped me. 994 01:16:34,507 --> 01:16:36,341 After that I szore I'd never do anything 995 01:16:36,425 --> 01:16:38,260 just because everyone else was doing it. 996 01:16:38,344 --> 01:16:40,011 And I haven't since, 997 01:16:40,638 --> 01:16:42,264 with the exception of Bogey's party 998 01:16:42,348 --> 01:16:44,975 and my stunning digestive pyrotechnics. 999 01:16:47,186 --> 01:16:50,355 How is it possible that I did not know about this? 1000 01:16:50,856 --> 01:16:52,274 I warned him that if he told anyone, 1001 01:16:52,358 --> 01:16:56,027 the cheerleading squad would find out how tiny his dick is. 1002 01:16:58,864 --> 01:17:01,700 Okay, so why didn't you tell me? 1003 01:17:03,536 --> 01:17:06,621 I wanted to let you make up your mind about him. 1004 01:17:07,873 --> 01:17:10,834 Then why did you help Daddy hold me hostage? 1005 01:17:11,210 --> 01:17:14,546 It's not like I'm stupid enough to repeat your mistakes. 1006 01:17:14,630 --> 01:17:16,548 I guess I thought I was protecting you. 1007 01:17:16,674 --> 01:17:19,634 By not letting me experience anything for myself? 1008 01:17:19,719 --> 01:17:22,387 Not all experiences are good, Bianca. 1009 01:17:22,471 --> 01:17:24,472 You can't always trust the people you want to. 1010 01:17:24,557 --> 01:17:27,142 Well, I guess I'll never know, will I? 1011 01:18:12,271 --> 01:18:14,022 Ladies with thinning hair or bald spots, 1012 01:18:14,106 --> 01:18:18,610 G.L.H. solves the problem instantly. G.L.H. is not a paint or a cover-up. 1013 01:18:19,070 --> 01:18:23,031 lt's an amazing powder that clings to the tiniest hairs on your head. 1014 01:18:23,115 --> 01:18:24,949 lt actually builds on itself, 1015 01:18:25,034 --> 01:18:27,619 leaving you with great, great-looking hair. 1016 01:18:27,745 --> 01:18:29,371 And the G.L.H. hair system is not expensive. 1017 01:18:29,455 --> 01:18:30,538 Interesting. 1018 01:18:30,623 --> 01:18:33,041 Order your G.L.H. hair package now. 1019 01:18:33,793 --> 01:18:36,044 Bye, Dad. I'm going to the prom. 1020 01:18:36,587 --> 01:18:37,796 Funny, szeetie. 1021 01:18:38,255 --> 01:18:41,216 lt instantly covers your bald spot leaving you with great looking hair. 1022 01:18:45,763 --> 01:18:47,889 -What's that? -A prom dress. 1023 01:18:48,140 --> 01:18:50,767 I seem to be hearing that word a lot lately. 1024 01:18:55,981 --> 01:18:59,150 -Hi. -Wow. I... 1025 01:19:02,905 --> 01:19:04,447 Wow. 1026 01:19:05,074 --> 01:19:06,908 -Bye, Daddy. -Stop. 1027 01:19:06,992 --> 01:19:09,786 Turn. Explain. 1028 01:19:11,163 --> 01:19:14,499 Okay. Remember how you said I could date if Kat dated? 1029 01:19:14,583 --> 01:19:16,835 Well, she found this guy who's actually kind of perfect for her 1030 01:19:16,961 --> 01:19:18,336 which is perfect for me, 1031 01:19:18,421 --> 01:19:21,256 because Cameron asked me to go to the prom and I really, really wanna go, 1032 01:19:21,340 --> 01:19:24,509 and since Kat went, I guess I'm allozed to, based on the aforementioned rule, 1033 01:19:24,635 --> 01:19:26,678 and its previous stipulations, of course. 1034 01:19:27,513 --> 01:19:29,431 -Nice to meet you. -Let's go. 1035 01:19:33,185 --> 01:19:35,520 I know every cop in town, bucko! 1036 01:19:38,858 --> 01:19:40,608 This is not good. 1037 01:20:22,234 --> 01:20:23,401 Wow. 1038 01:20:24,904 --> 01:20:26,237 You, too. 1039 01:20:29,325 --> 01:20:30,909 Where'd you get a tux at the last minute? 1040 01:20:30,993 --> 01:20:34,162 Oh, just something I had, you know, lying around. 1041 01:20:34,538 --> 01:20:35,747 Where'd you get the dress? 1042 01:20:35,873 --> 01:20:38,416 Oh, just something I had, you know, lying around. 1043 01:20:42,004 --> 01:20:45,840 Listen, I'm really sorry that I questioned your motives. 1044 01:20:46,425 --> 01:20:48,051 I was wrong. 1045 01:20:49,929 --> 01:20:51,596 You're forgiven. 1046 01:20:54,391 --> 01:20:55,558 Okay. 1047 01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:58,937 -Ready for the prom? -Yes, ma'am. 1048 01:21:12,618 --> 01:21:16,287 Hi, Mr. Stratford. I'm Joey. I'm here to pick up Bianca. 1049 01:21:37,476 --> 01:21:39,143 -Have you seen him? -Who? 1050 01:21:39,270 --> 01:21:41,938 William. He asked me to meet him here. 1051 01:21:42,815 --> 01:21:44,566 Oh, Mandella, please tell me you haven't 1052 01:21:44,650 --> 01:21:47,277 progressed to full-on hallucinations. 1053 01:22:09,925 --> 01:22:12,260 -Milady. -Good sir. 1054 01:22:36,827 --> 01:22:38,536 Oh, my God, it's... 1055 01:22:40,289 --> 01:22:42,206 I called in a favor! 1056 01:23:39,598 --> 01:23:41,099 What are you doing here? 1057 01:23:41,225 --> 01:23:43,685 I know you didn't think you were the only sophomore at the prom. 1058 01:23:43,769 --> 01:23:45,603 Joey just picked me up. 1059 01:23:45,688 --> 01:23:48,690 Oh, well, congratulations. He's all yours. 1060 01:23:48,774 --> 01:23:50,441 Very generous, princess. 1061 01:23:50,526 --> 01:23:53,695 And just so you know, Joey only liked you for one reason. 1062 01:23:53,779 --> 01:23:55,697 He even had a bet going with his friends. 1063 01:23:55,781 --> 01:23:57,949 He was gonna nail you tonight. 1064 01:24:02,955 --> 01:24:05,206 -Milwaukee. -What? 1065 01:24:05,416 --> 01:24:08,459 That's where I was last year. I wasn't in jail. 1066 01:24:08,627 --> 01:24:09,877 I don't know Marilyn Manson 1067 01:24:09,962 --> 01:24:13,589 and I didn't sleep with a Spice Girl, I don't think. 1068 01:24:13,757 --> 01:24:17,468 You see, my grandpa, he was ill so I spent most of the year on his couch 1069 01:24:17,594 --> 01:24:20,888 watching Wheel ofFortune and making SpaghettiOs. 1070 01:24:21,598 --> 01:24:23,099 End of story. 1071 01:24:23,726 --> 01:24:25,059 No way. 1072 01:24:27,271 --> 01:24:31,107 Hey. What's Bianca doing here with that cheese dick? 1073 01:24:31,316 --> 01:24:36,154 I didn't pay you to take out Kat so some little punk could snake me with Bianca. 1074 01:24:40,159 --> 01:24:42,285 Nothing in it for you, huh? 1075 01:24:53,672 --> 01:24:55,798 The shit hath hitteth 1076 01:24:55,924 --> 01:24:58,009 the faneth. 1077 01:25:01,847 --> 01:25:04,974 Joey, pal, compadre? 1078 01:25:08,020 --> 01:25:11,272 You messed with the wrong guy, and now you're gonna pay. 1079 01:25:11,356 --> 01:25:13,983 You and that little bitch. 1080 01:25:14,777 --> 01:25:18,196 All right, that's enough, okay! You crossed the line. 1081 01:25:20,365 --> 01:25:22,533 Oh, come on! Get up, you little punk! 1082 01:25:27,664 --> 01:25:30,875 Shit, Bianca! I'm shooting a nose spray ad tomorrow! 1083 01:25:31,001 --> 01:25:34,462 That's for making my date bleed! That's for my sister! 1084 01:25:35,547 --> 01:25:37,298 And that's for me. 1085 01:25:44,848 --> 01:25:46,349 Are you okay? 1086 01:25:47,351 --> 01:25:49,060 Never been better. 1087 01:25:58,070 --> 01:25:59,111 Would you give me a chance... 1088 01:25:59,196 --> 01:26:02,406 You were paid to take me out by the one person I truly hate. 1089 01:26:02,533 --> 01:26:04,534 I knew this was a set-up! 1090 01:26:04,701 --> 01:26:07,078 Kat, it wasn't like that, okay. 1091 01:26:07,162 --> 01:26:09,831 What was it like, a down payment now and a bonus for sleeping with me? 1092 01:26:09,915 --> 01:26:12,875 No, I didn't care about the money! I cared... 1093 01:26:13,710 --> 01:26:15,545 I cared about you. 1094 01:26:17,089 --> 01:26:19,757 You are so not who I thought you were. 1095 01:27:02,718 --> 01:27:04,427 You want? 1096 01:27:04,636 --> 01:27:05,887 Thanks. 1097 01:27:07,139 --> 01:27:11,142 So, you sure you don't want to go sailing with us? It'll be fun. 1098 01:27:11,602 --> 01:27:13,477 No, I'm fine. 1099 01:27:14,897 --> 01:27:18,983 Look, I don't know if I ever thanked you for going last night, 1100 01:27:20,319 --> 01:27:22,653 but it really meant a lot to me. 1101 01:27:24,948 --> 01:27:26,282 I'm glad. 1102 01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:30,620 -Hey. -Hey. 1103 01:27:30,829 --> 01:27:32,622 You ready? 1104 01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:35,958 -See you later. -Bye. 1105 01:27:37,961 --> 01:27:40,463 -Is... Is she okay? -I hope so. 1106 01:27:47,471 --> 01:27:49,347 Where's your sister going? 1107 01:27:49,598 --> 01:27:53,309 She's meeting some bikers, big ones, full of sperm. 1108 01:27:55,270 --> 01:27:56,479 Funny. 1109 01:27:58,607 --> 01:28:01,484 So, tell me about this dance. Was it hoppin'? 1110 01:28:02,611 --> 01:28:03,778 Parts of it. 1111 01:28:03,862 --> 01:28:05,154 Which parts? 1112 01:28:05,989 --> 01:28:08,950 The part where Bianca beat the hell out of some guy. 1113 01:28:09,034 --> 01:28:10,451 Bianca did what? 1114 01:28:10,535 --> 01:28:13,788 What's the matter, upset that I rubbed off on her? 1115 01:28:14,539 --> 01:28:16,040 No, impressed. 1116 01:28:20,671 --> 01:28:22,630 Fathers don't like to admit it when their daughters 1117 01:28:22,714 --> 01:28:24,048 are capable of running their own lives. 1118 01:28:24,132 --> 01:28:26,634 It means we've become spectators. 1119 01:28:30,472 --> 01:28:35,184 Bianca still lets me play a few innings. You've had me on the bench for years. 1120 01:28:37,562 --> 01:28:40,982 And when you go to Sarah Lawrence, I won't even be able to watch the game. 1121 01:28:43,235 --> 01:28:44,735 When I go? 1122 01:28:45,904 --> 01:28:48,906 Oh, boy. Don't tell me you changed your mind. 1123 01:28:49,908 --> 01:28:52,076 I already sent 'em a check. 1124 01:29:09,177 --> 01:29:12,680 All right, I assume everyone has found time to complete their poem, 1125 01:29:12,764 --> 01:29:14,598 except for Mr. Donner, 1126 01:29:15,100 --> 01:29:16,767 who has an excuse. 1127 01:29:18,854 --> 01:29:20,938 Shaft, lose the glasses. 1128 01:29:24,860 --> 01:29:28,195 All right, anyone brave enough to read theirs aloud? 1129 01:29:36,621 --> 01:29:37,872 I will. 1130 01:29:40,292 --> 01:29:41,792 Lord, here we go. 1131 01:29:50,677 --> 01:29:54,055 "I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair 1132 01:29:54,139 --> 01:29:58,559 "I hate the way you drive my car I hate it when you stare 1133 01:29:58,643 --> 01:30:02,521 "I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind 1134 01:30:02,647 --> 01:30:06,317 "I hate you so much it makes me sick It even makes me rhyme 1135 01:30:08,612 --> 01:30:11,572 "I hate it... I hate the way you're always right 1136 01:30:11,656 --> 01:30:13,783 "I hate it when you lie 1137 01:30:13,867 --> 01:30:17,953 "I hate it when you make me laugh even worse when you make me cry 1138 01:30:19,498 --> 01:30:23,584 "I hate it when you're not around and the fact that you didn't call 1139 01:30:23,668 --> 01:30:27,338 "But mostly, I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close 1140 01:30:27,464 --> 01:30:30,049 "not even a little bit, not even at all" 1141 01:31:12,843 --> 01:31:16,262 -Nice, huh? -A Fender Strat? 1142 01:31:16,888 --> 01:31:18,305 Is it for me? 1143 01:31:18,390 --> 01:31:22,143 Yeah, I thought you could use it, you know, when you start your band. 1144 01:31:22,227 --> 01:31:24,937 Besides, I had some extra cash, you know. 1145 01:31:25,063 --> 01:31:28,524 Some asshole paid me to take out this really great girl. 1146 01:31:29,776 --> 01:31:31,527 Is that right? 1147 01:31:32,070 --> 01:31:35,531 Yeah, but I screzed up. I... I fell for her. 1148 01:31:38,118 --> 01:31:39,410 Really? 1149 01:31:40,954 --> 01:31:42,204 It's not every day you find a girl 1150 01:31:42,289 --> 01:31:45,583 who'll flash someone to get you out of detention. 1151 01:31:46,418 --> 01:31:47,626 Oh, God. 1152 01:31:55,927 --> 01:31:59,638 You can't just buy me a guitar every time you screw up, you know. 1153 01:32:00,056 --> 01:32:01,473 Yeah, I know. 1154 01:32:02,434 --> 01:32:06,145 But there's always drums and bass and maybe even one day a tambourine. 1155 01:32:14,154 --> 01:32:15,279 And don't just think you can... 1156 01:34:46,598 --> 01:34:51,060 No offense. I know everyone "digs" your sister and all, 1157 01:34:51,269 --> 01:34:52,811 but she's without. 1158 01:34:54,773 --> 01:34:58,734 You know, you're not as vile as I thought you were. 1159 01:35:07,911 --> 01:35:10,621 You suck. 1160 01:35:10,830 --> 01:35:14,416 Okay. Let's go! 1161 01:35:16,336 --> 01:35:18,337 You're just messin' with me, aren't you? 1162 01:35:18,463 --> 01:35:20,506 No, I'm really looking forward to doing it. 1163 01:35:20,632 --> 01:35:21,882 Go see Miss Perky. 1164 01:35:21,966 --> 01:35:24,635 -What? -Go. Perky's. Go, now. 1165 01:35:24,761 --> 01:35:27,638 Once again. "Perky, now" is the second one. 1166 01:35:27,764 --> 01:35:30,516 -Perky's now. Perky's, now. -Right away. 1167 01:35:30,642 --> 01:35:32,351 -Now, Perky's. -Hey, hey. 1168 01:35:32,477 --> 01:35:35,229 -Now, Perky's. Perky's now. -At the beginning of the shot. 1169 01:35:35,313 --> 01:35:36,688 Perk... 1170 01:35:40,276 --> 01:35:43,529 Bianca, let's go. We're all congregating around Mr. Cuervo. 1171 01:35:44,989 --> 01:35:47,032 I'll see you around, okay? 1172 01:35:57,460 --> 01:36:00,212 Don't worry. There's better for you, 1173 01:36:00,380 --> 01:36:02,172 and it's right here. 1174 01:36:02,715 --> 01:36:05,050 Come here. No, I wanted you for so long. 1175 01:36:07,637 --> 01:36:10,889 You messed with the wrong guy, and now you're gonna pay. 1176 01:36:11,015 --> 01:36:13,308 You and that little bitch. 1177 01:36:14,477 --> 01:36:18,063 All right, that's enough, okay! You crossed the line. 1178 01:36:23,153 --> 01:36:24,403 What, are you kidding me? 1179 01:36:30,368 --> 01:36:33,579 -I'm driving, so I pick the tunes. -And it's my car. 1180 01:36:36,875 --> 01:36:39,418 I want some coffee! 1181 01:36:52,432 --> 01:36:55,267 Could I get a prophylactic? 1182 01:36:55,435 --> 01:36:57,227 A prophylactic. 1183 01:36:59,522 --> 01:37:02,483 -Let go! -How could you set me up like that? 1184 01:37:02,567 --> 01:37:04,401 Oh, God, I just wanted... 1185 01:37:04,527 --> 01:37:06,528 To completely damage me, send me to therapy forever? 1186 01:37:06,613 --> 01:37:09,031 -No, I just wanted... -Ladies. 1187 01:37:11,910 --> 01:37:13,744 Shall we go to my office? 1188 01:37:16,539 --> 01:37:18,582 Oh, my God!