1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,003 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 2 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,512 ♪ theme song playing ♪ 3 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:40,082 ♪ 4 00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,084 [sighs] 5 00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:45,504 [sighs, sucking] 6 00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,631 - Aw. He's using his jacket 7 00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,675 as some kind of security blanket. 8 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:51,510 - That's so cute and pathetic. 9 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:54,805 - It really is. You do you, weirdo! 10 00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:57,349 - Oh, hey, guys. I'm just sucking on my jacket. 11 00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:59,726 A Clump-O-Honey candy got stuck right there 12 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:02,479 over a thousand years ago, and I can still taste it. 13 00:01:02,479 --> 00:01:04,898 - You know who I bet would like some of that? 14 00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,233 Me! Zoidberg. 15 00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:08,110 [slurping] 16 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:10,320 - Oh, no! [slurping] 17 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,406 Zoidberg, you residue hog! 18 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,616 Now all I taste is crab juice. 19 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,827 - So, buy another jacket candy. 20 00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:18,871 - I can't. They stopped making it 21 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:21,999 after it got reclassified as industrial glue. 22 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:25,377 - Ah. Then I, Bender, will recreate the recipe. 23 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:28,380 Don't forget, I came in third on MasterChef Junior. 24 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,091 [bubbling] 25 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:32,467 [squirting] 26 00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,469 - May I have a taste? 27 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,264 - Sure. You seem like the kind of guy who has a mouth. 28 00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:38,599 [slurps, smacking] 29 00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,768 - Whoa! Diabetic coma! 30 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:44,688 - Hm. I better add some sugar to make it less sweet. 31 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,026 - And just a touch of treacle 32 00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:52,154 to remind me of my dear departed Aunt Juanita. 33 00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:54,698 [sniffles] She drowned in treacle. 34 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:57,701 - You know I'm dying on the floor. 35 00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,204 [Bender humming] 36 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:03,207 [excited murmuring] 37 00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:05,584 - So, what do you think? [Fry smacking] 38 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:08,921 - Mm! It's perfect, Bender. Totally jacket worthy. 39 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:11,089 [smacking] - It's a little sticky. 40 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,883 - [muffled]: It's a lot sticky! 41 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,551 [muffled groaning] 42 00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:17,429 [smack] And there's something hard in it. 43 00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:18,472 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 44 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,057 [gasps] [Bender yelps] 45 00:02:20,057 --> 00:02:23,644 - Luckily, I'm an expert at fixing human beak bones. 46 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,396 Are you free Friday for an expensive appointment? 47 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:28,899 - Let me check. Open calendar! 48 00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,694 Shmeird. There's some old alert 49 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,947 I set up 20 years ago. 50 00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:37,115 [gasps] Our babies?! 51 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,202 - It's time, my love. 52 00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,995 - Oh, Kif! 53 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,664 - The hell are you talking about? 54 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,999 Something to do with the meatbag life cycle? 55 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,085 - That's right, Bender. Many years ago, 56 00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,504 I gave birth to a clutch of tadpoles 57 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,297 with Amy by my side. 58 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:54,758 - I have video of the birth. Wanna see it? 59 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:55,926 ALL: No! 60 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:58,345 - That is the wrong kind of delivery! 61 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:03,100 - Oh, Nelly! Oh! [squishing] 62 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,811 [screaming, groaning] [splattering] 63 00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:07,604 [crew groans] 64 00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:09,481 - Life is disgusting. 65 00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:11,483 - No, it was beautiful. 66 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:13,986 But I was so not prepared to be a mother. 67 00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,988 - In 20 years, they'll sprout legs 68 00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:18,866 and crawl back onto land as children. 69 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:21,535 - I'll be ready then. 70 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,205 - Well, Amy, are you ready now? 71 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,082 - Having a family with you 72 00:03:27,082 --> 00:03:30,460 is the only thing I want in the whole world. 73 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,796 BENDER: Then can I have your car? - No! 74 00:03:32,796 --> 00:03:34,548 - Too late. I already crashed it. 75 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,966 [zooming] 76 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:38,552 ♪ 77 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,722 [creatures chirping] 78 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,098 - Oh, this is so exciting! 79 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,559 The birth ceremony will begin any minute. 80 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,519 - Thanks for the warning. 81 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,647 And don't describe it to me! [car doors open] 82 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:53,066 INEZ: We're here! - Mom! Dad! 83 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,277 Oh, I'm so glad you made it! 84 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:58,113 - Oh, we wouldn't miss the birth of our grandbabies 85 00:03:58,113 --> 00:03:59,740 for a million dollars. 86 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,909 - 'Cause we're so rich, that's like a penny. 87 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:04,912 [bubbling, gurgling] [Kif sputtering] 88 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,539 - Oh, my. It's the Grand Midwife. 89 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:10,083 - I am the Grand Midwife! 90 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:11,752 - Big fan! 91 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,046 - I am Kif of the clan Kroker. 92 00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:16,381 - I know. I recognize your head. 93 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,467 - And this is my smizmar, Amy. 94 00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,928 We have come to receive our offspring. 95 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,222 - As you transition to parenthood, 96 00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:25,849 I shall be your counsel and guide. 97 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:29,186 I do so out of solemn respect for our traditions 98 00:04:29,186 --> 00:04:31,730 and not for any optional cash donation 99 00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,815 people sometimes place in that basket. 100 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,192 - Thank you. - It's green, 101 00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,444 and there's a little sign on it. - Found it! 102 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:42,866 - Then the Emergence shall now commence! 103 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:45,410 [excited chattering] 104 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,079 [chirping] 105 00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:49,665 Or not. It's unpredictable. 106 00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:52,709 Guess I'll have to wing it. Anybody here from out of town? 107 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:54,670 [splashing] O-oh! Here they come. 108 00:04:54,670 --> 00:04:58,006 ♪ 109 00:04:58,006 --> 00:05:01,009 [bubbling, gurgling] 110 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:06,181 - Oh my. I'm so anxious, my camouflage reflex is kicking in. 111 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,683 - No, it's helpful. 112 00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:10,185 I wanna look cute for our hundreds of kids. 113 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:11,770 ♪ 114 00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:15,148 - We shall now stand by, without interfering, 115 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,277 as we observe the sacred process known as... 116 00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:19,695 the Winnowing. 117 00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:21,113 - What's that mean? 118 00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:23,198 - It means don't start naming them yet. 119 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:24,366 [cawing] 120 00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,368 ♪ 121 00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,328 [all gasp] 122 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:31,748 [squawks] 123 00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:34,168 [chomp] 124 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:40,174 ♪ 125 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,675 - Four of them made it! 126 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,093 [snarling, crunching] 127 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,720 Well, three and a half. 128 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,264 - Young creatures of the Black Lagoon, 129 00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,266 go now to your parents. 130 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:52,811 [squishy footsteps] 131 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,646 - Uh, can I help you? 132 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:55,898 - Over here! 133 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:02,237 [gasps] They're perfect. 134 00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,364 - Ew. She's touching them. 135 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,367 - Cherish these children, Kif and Amy, 136 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,536 for they are beautiful. 137 00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,581 BENDER: Eh... 138 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:15,542 - Well, in-in the sense that all children are beautiful. 139 00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,670 [understanding chatter] 140 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:22,424 ♪ 141 00:06:22,424 --> 00:06:24,051 [squishing] 142 00:06:24,927 --> 00:06:27,304 The transformation is complete! 143 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:30,849 We welcome these new beings of the land. 144 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,559 [cheering, applause] 145 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,062 - They can call me Captain Uncle. 146 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:38,482 - Uh, I'll go dispose of this medical waste. 147 00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:40,776 With a little butter and lemon. 148 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,612 - Want a picture with the kids? - No need. 149 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:45,781 The way they look is burned into my mind. 150 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:48,492 - They're nice, you know? Just a kinda little-- 151 00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:49,785 - Super gross. 152 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:52,371 - But, you're finally grandparents. 153 00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:54,164 - That'll be our little secret. 154 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:58,168 [car door opens, shuts] [engine starts, whirring] 155 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:03,090 ♪ 156 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,885 PROFESSOR: Oh my. 157 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,765 - Thanks for bringing the kids by for my lunch break. 158 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,059 - They're the sweetest thing on the menu. 159 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:14,935 BENDER: Not even close! 160 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,938 - Uh, question. 161 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,941 These three babies are totally different sizes. 162 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,860 Question mark. 163 00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:25,195 - Oh, well, they grew at varying rates 164 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:27,781 depending on the temperature of the water they were in. 165 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:31,076 Little Newt here was in a cold, deep area. 166 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:33,328 - Mama! - Wrong again. 167 00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,454 [Newt cooing] 168 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:37,165 - Mandy is from the temperate middle depths. 169 00:07:37,165 --> 00:07:38,750 - He's shrively! 170 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:41,128 - [laughs] You haven't seen the half of it. 171 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,338 - And Axl is from the warm shallows, 172 00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,174 just like his old man. 173 00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:48,051 - [groans] Do you always have to talk about me? 174 00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:50,512 - So why does this one keep calling me Mama? 175 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,264 And what's with the big weird eye? 176 00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,558 - It's not weird. It looks like yours. 177 00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:55,893 - [whispers]: It's pretty weird. 178 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:57,394 - Why would he look like me? 179 00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:58,854 - Don't you remember? 180 00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:01,565 Twenty years ago, you impregnated Kif. 181 00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:03,901 - Seriously? Oh, my God. 182 00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,694 I must have been super drunk. 183 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:09,072 - Leela, you bone brain! You didn't have sex. 184 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:11,074 - [laughs] Bone. 185 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,493 - Luckily, there's an educational movie 186 00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,039 that explains how Kif's species reproduces. 187 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:18,790 And it's filthy. 188 00:08:18,790 --> 00:08:21,960 NARRATOR: YowzaVision Educational Films 189 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:25,464 presents Sex Across The Universe. 190 00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:28,300 BENDER: Oh, yeah! Educate me, baby. 191 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,552 NARRATOR: This week, the Amphibiosans. 192 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,847 For every organism across the universe, 193 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:37,518 reproduction is a steamy, erotic process. 194 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:40,103 Except the Amphibiosans. 195 00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,314 They just barely touch hands 196 00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:45,025 while the rest of us are gettin' it on. 197 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,152 Yowza. [hologram ends] 198 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,570 BENDER: Eh, that was pretty hot. 199 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:51,198 - So, you see, Amy was my smizmar, 200 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:54,785 the one whose mere presence made me receptive to pregnancy. 201 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,871 - Which makes me their smizmama. 202 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:01,166 - But it was Lila who contributed the DNA 203 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:04,211 when she accidentally touched Kif's hand. 204 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,088 - Are you sure I wasn't drunk? 205 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,674 I-I mean, I'm drunk now. [gulping] 206 00:09:08,674 --> 00:09:10,175 - Mwah! 207 00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:11,844 - Ew! Mom, Dad! 208 00:09:11,844 --> 00:09:13,679 [burps] Leela! 209 00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:17,516 ♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪ 210 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:21,144 ♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪ 211 00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,522 ♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪ 212 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:25,107 [crying] 213 00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:28,819 ♪ Soon you'll grow, so take a chance ♪ 214 00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:33,532 ♪ With a couple of kooks hung up on romancing ♪ 215 00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:38,120 ♪ Will you stay in our lovers' story? ♪ 216 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:41,707 ♪ If you stay, you won't be sorry ♪ 217 00:09:41,707 --> 00:09:43,625 ♪ 'Cause we believe in you ♪ 218 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,252 [quacking] 219 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,672 ♪ Soon, you'll grow, so take a chance ♪ 220 00:09:48,672 --> 00:09:50,799 ♪ With a couple of kooks ♪ 221 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,719 ♪ Hung up on romancing ♪ 222 00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:55,179 [cooing] 223 00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:56,555 [giggling] 224 00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,184 - Let's reinflate my head and go home. 225 00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:04,146 - Yeah. Maybe they'll conk out and we'll get a little us time. 226 00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:07,608 [kids laughing] [Kif gasping] 227 00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:09,943 [laughing] [splattering] 228 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,030 - [sighs] Those little guys are the best, but they're a lot. 229 00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:16,533 - Well, luckily, there's two of us to split the work. 230 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:19,828 ♪ Doop, doo-doo-doop, doop, doop, doop, doop! ♪ 231 00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:21,997 - Captain Brannigan! At your service, sir. 232 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:25,375 - With ease, Lieutenant. I have a bit of news to say at you. 233 00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:28,337 - Is it about the baby gifts you claim you sent? Because we still haven't-- 234 00:10:28,337 --> 00:10:30,088 - I'm afraid there's no time to discuss 235 00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,883 the many presents I bought, some of which are large. 236 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:35,219 Soldier, you are ordered to report for duty. 237 00:10:35,219 --> 00:10:36,220 [Amy gasps] 238 00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:39,598 - Is it war? - I hope so, but we're not sure. 239 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,392 All we know is that DOOP has lost radio contact 240 00:10:42,392 --> 00:10:46,021 with a remote outpost in Ursa Major. Over and under. 241 00:10:46,021 --> 00:10:47,314 [beep] [clattering] 242 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:48,357 [groans] 243 00:10:48,357 --> 00:10:50,692 - I'm sorry you'll have to handle the kids alone. 244 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,194 - [scoffs] I'm not worried. 245 00:10:52,194 --> 00:10:53,195 [yelps] 246 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:56,740 ♪ 247 00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,410 KIF: I love you! 248 00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:02,412 [engines sputtering] 249 00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:04,164 [gears grinding] 250 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:05,749 [sniffling] 251 00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:08,085 [Axl crying softly] 252 00:11:08,085 --> 00:11:10,462 [Mandy crying] 253 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:13,799 [Newt crying loudly] 254 00:11:13,799 --> 00:11:16,802 [Amy wailing] 255 00:11:16,802 --> 00:11:20,556 [all sobbing] 256 00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:24,226 [out-of-tune shofar playing] 257 00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,103 - Roll call! 258 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:29,565 "Four eyes." "One-eye." "Crab man." 259 00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:31,984 "Can man." "Who cares?" 260 00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:33,735 Dammit! Where's Amy? 261 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,737 What do I need, a bigger antler? 262 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:38,448 [door opens] - Oh, I'm so, so sorry. 263 00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,117 The babysitter didn't show up. 264 00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:42,035 [phone ringing] Ah! 265 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:45,205 - Finally. Where are you? - Sorry, toots. 266 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,874 I must have the address wrong. 267 00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:49,293 784 West 28th Street? 268 00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:52,045 Uh-huh. Weird, th-that's what I got. 269 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,839 Oh, Earth! Ah! 270 00:11:53,839 --> 00:11:56,508 Coulda swore you said Kepler 10B. 271 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:58,010 [wind blowing] 272 00:11:58,010 --> 00:12:01,638 Guess I'll catch the next generation ship back to Nutley. 273 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,473 - Oh... 274 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:06,602 - Mom, Mom, Mom! Can you judge our whispering contest? 275 00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:08,103 [whispers]: Okay. You ready? 276 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:11,148 I lose! [laughing] [Newt crying, Mandy yelling] 277 00:12:11,148 --> 00:12:12,482 Oh, come on! Oh-- 278 00:12:12,482 --> 00:12:16,153 ♪ 279 00:12:16,153 --> 00:12:17,779 [burps, laughs] 280 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:21,200 - Look at me, chugging mineral water on a weeknight! 281 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,243 So wild and free! 282 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,286 ♪ 283 00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:25,329 [crying] 284 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:27,372 I miss them so. 285 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:29,291 - I feel you, soldier. 286 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:32,252 And not in a handsy way this time. 287 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,712 Mm. [smacking] 288 00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:35,088 Sticky... 289 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:38,133 Bring a bowl of these candies to my quarters 290 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:39,510 when you're done crying. 291 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:40,677 [hair rips] 292 00:12:40,677 --> 00:12:42,554 [kids laughing] 293 00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:45,098 - Thanks for offering to watch the kids, Leela. 294 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:48,185 I need a break so bad. You have no idea. 295 00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:51,271 - No, it's clear you're a wreck, and I get it. 296 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,315 They're a nightmare. [objects breaking] 297 00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:55,859 A-A sweet, adorable nightmare. 298 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,694 - That's fair. Kids! 299 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,821 Mommy's gonna go nap-nap. 300 00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:01,990 Don't be scared of Leela. She's very-- 301 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,742 [Newt cheers] MANDY: Yay! Mommy Leela! 302 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:06,078 - Cowabunga, dude! [kids giggling] 303 00:13:06,078 --> 00:13:09,122 ♪ 304 00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:13,126 - The Clump-O-Honeys you requested, Capt-- Oh jeez. 305 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,045 [humming] [Kif sighs] 306 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:17,881 If there's nothing further, I will-- - Oh no, you willn't. 307 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:21,134 These delicious Clumps aren't for eating. Mm! 308 00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,845 Mm... 309 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,930 They're for manscaping. 310 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:27,516 Manscape me, Kif. That's an order. 311 00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,768 [hair rips] Owooga! 312 00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:32,813 NEWT: Ooh! - Whoa! What's that? 313 00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,690 - I never saw one of those before, 314 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:36,608 and I was born, like, four days ago. 315 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:39,653 - It's a ship loader. Any hyperactive kids here 316 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:43,031 up for a nice, exhausting treadmill race? [beep, whirring] 317 00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:46,451 - Oh wow! Cool! I mean, cool. [Newt and Mandy cheering] 318 00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,453 - God, I hope this works. 319 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:51,081 ♪ 320 00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:53,667 [snoring] 321 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:54,668 [snorting] 322 00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:57,838 [yawns, stretches] 323 00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:02,050 [kids laughing] 324 00:14:04,303 --> 00:14:08,515 ♪ somber music ♪ 325 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,142 [sensors beeping] 326 00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:13,854 - Approaching the outpost, sir. Still no response on any frequency. 327 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:16,815 - My God. What the hell happened down there? 328 00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:19,568 It looks like the whole planet has psoriasis. 329 00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:22,112 - You're looking at the back of my head, sir. 330 00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:24,114 [shudders] 331 00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:26,617 ♪ 332 00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:31,079 [door whirring, clangs] 333 00:14:33,415 --> 00:14:36,418 - Welcome to Exobiology Station 38. 334 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,003 [clicking] 335 00:14:38,003 --> 00:14:40,214 - Dammit! I'm outta laser! 336 00:14:40,214 --> 00:14:43,300 - Um, hello, sir. Is this outpost secure? 337 00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,220 The DOOP hasn't received any response from you in months. 338 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,722 - Oh, yeah. Transmitter got ripped up by bears. 339 00:14:48,722 --> 00:14:50,015 [fizzling] 340 00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:52,476 That's what we study here. Bears. I'm a bear biologist. 341 00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:54,937 - Sounds like a fun job that pays bad. 342 00:14:54,937 --> 00:14:58,398 - I used to be a whale biologist, but I hate whales. 343 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,816 Hate them. 344 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:02,361 - Well, then it's good you found an animal you like. 345 00:15:02,361 --> 00:15:03,570 - Nope. Still looking. 346 00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:06,990 [bear growling, grunting] This bear species is known as tardigrades. 347 00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:09,493 It's a fancy word for ugly. 348 00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:12,246 [roaring] Oh, shut up, you stupid bear! 349 00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:13,789 They're also stupid, by the way. 350 00:15:13,789 --> 00:15:15,958 I discovered that. Bear biologist. 351 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,878 ♪ 352 00:15:19,878 --> 00:15:21,213 [clicking] 353 00:15:21,213 --> 00:15:23,215 [zapping] [shuddering] 354 00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:25,926 [hissing] - I fixed the transmitter. 355 00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,513 Now, may I please head home to my family? 356 00:15:29,513 --> 00:15:31,849 - Without delay. But first, 357 00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:33,308 candy break? 358 00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:36,520 [chomping loudly] 359 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:38,897 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 360 00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:40,732 - Are you bat crackers? 361 00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:43,277 If they smell human food, they go bat crackers! 362 00:15:45,779 --> 00:15:48,740 [tardigrades growling] 363 00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:52,452 - It seems they recognize a fellow apex predator. 364 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,830 Well, four can play at that game. 365 00:15:56,081 --> 00:15:57,583 [confused grumbling] 366 00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:59,668 [screaming] 367 00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:02,296 Kif! Help! 368 00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:04,339 [Kif groans] 369 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:05,883 [birds chirping] [Leela imitating horse] 370 00:16:05,883 --> 00:16:08,594 [kids laugh] AXL: Let's go! Faster! Faster! 371 00:16:08,594 --> 00:16:11,430 - Go, horseface, go! [sighs] 372 00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,557 - [panting] Neigh! 373 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:17,186 - Now, buy us ice cream! [Leela sighs] 374 00:16:17,186 --> 00:16:20,189 ♪ 375 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:24,359 Rum raisin tastes just like caterpillars! 376 00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:26,612 - We love you, Leela. 377 00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:29,781 - Aw, hell no! You're not the mom of them! 378 00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:32,910 - What? - Are you done spoiling my kids rotten 379 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:34,661 so they'll love you more? 380 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,830 - I'm just a beaten-down horse. 381 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:39,750 - Well, you can trot back to the barn now! 382 00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:43,003 Kif's coming home soon, and you are not their mom! 383 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:45,672 - Uh, actually, I sort of am. 384 00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,674 - Go on! Git! Hyah! 385 00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:52,596 [Zapp screaming] 386 00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:55,098 [tardigrades growling quietly] ZAPP: Oh God, they're nuzzling me! 387 00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,892 [phone ringing, click] 388 00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:58,810 - Hello? [crying] 389 00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:01,438 - Please come home, Kiffy! 390 00:17:01,438 --> 00:17:04,858 The kids like Leela more than me, and it really hurts. 391 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,235 [sobbing] 392 00:17:06,235 --> 00:17:08,987 I'm the worst mom ever. 393 00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,323 Except for my own mom. 394 00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:14,535 ZAPP: Stop licking my velour! It's dry clean only! 395 00:17:14,535 --> 00:17:17,079 - Amy, darling, the children love you. 396 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,664 And I love you. 397 00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:21,250 ZAPP: And stay away from my scrotums! 398 00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:24,378 - You're their mother, and you always will be. 399 00:17:24,378 --> 00:17:26,129 Nothing can change that. 400 00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:27,214 ♪ dramatic sting ♪ 401 00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:29,883 - Amy Wong, a challenge has been filed 402 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:32,261 for the motherhood of these children. 403 00:17:32,261 --> 00:17:35,013 - No... [static] 404 00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:36,932 - [breaking up]: Amy? Amy, I'm coming home, I swear. 405 00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:41,228 I have to leave right now, sir! 406 00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:44,565 ZAPP: No, Kif! The DOOP never leaves a man behind! 407 00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:45,983 Not when I'm the man! 408 00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:47,109 [groans] 409 00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,361 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 410 00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:55,576 - Alright, bears. Daddy's coming to tuck you in... 411 00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:56,618 [shotgun cocks] 412 00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,287 ...to your graves. 413 00:17:58,287 --> 00:18:00,080 [panting] 414 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,498 ♪ music crescendos ♪ 415 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:02,916 - I'll be out here. 416 00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,712 ♪ 417 00:18:06,712 --> 00:18:08,714 - Nobody's taking my babies! 418 00:18:08,714 --> 00:18:10,382 They're everything to me! 419 00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:13,385 - I appreciate your emotional shouting in my ear hole, 420 00:18:13,385 --> 00:18:16,763 but I must intervene whenever parenthood is called into question. 421 00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,391 - Grand Midwife? 422 00:18:19,391 --> 00:18:21,894 - Oh, drop the surprised act, Leela. 423 00:18:21,894 --> 00:18:24,271 How could you do this? - Do what? 424 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:27,107 Suck the jelly out of the jelly donuts with a straw? 425 00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:30,360 - This jelly hound did not summon me. The challenge is automatic 426 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:33,906 when tests show the smizmar contributed no DNA. 427 00:18:33,906 --> 00:18:35,949 [beep] The children inherited genes 428 00:18:35,949 --> 00:18:37,784 only from Kif and Leela, 429 00:18:37,784 --> 00:18:40,662 plus trace DNA from a certain Scruffy. 430 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:43,665 [creaking] - Scruffy's stuff gets around. 431 00:18:43,665 --> 00:18:45,250 [sniffles, groans] 432 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:48,128 - Should the challenge indicate someone else is the mother, 433 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,379 then that person... 434 00:18:49,379 --> 00:18:51,548 eh, or whatever... 435 00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:53,050 shall raise the children. 436 00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:54,384 - But... But... 437 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:58,388 - You and Kif must be present for the challenge tomorrow. Good day. 438 00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,848 ♪ music crescendos ♪ 439 00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:02,351 Yeah, FYI, y-you've got a little jelly right there. 440 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,311 [door hisses] 441 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:07,314 [tardigrades sniffing, grumbling] 442 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,149 ♪ 443 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:12,069 - Did somebody call an exterminator? 444 00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:13,695 ♪ 445 00:19:15,531 --> 00:19:17,199 [growling] 446 00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,825 [zapping, poofing] 447 00:19:20,327 --> 00:19:22,996 It's been a blast. ZAPP: Help me, Kif! 448 00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,958 They found the secret candy in my girdle! 449 00:19:25,958 --> 00:19:27,459 [grunting] 450 00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:28,460 ♪ 451 00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:30,504 [sniffing, growling] 452 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:36,218 KIF: I'm a camouflaged killing machine. 453 00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,097 [crying] 454 00:19:40,097 --> 00:19:41,306 - I'm... 455 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:44,268 I'm sorry I got so jealous, Leela. 456 00:19:44,268 --> 00:19:47,312 I just kinda lost it. - It's okay. 457 00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:50,607 The bond parents feel with their kids is intense... 458 00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:51,900 so I hear. 459 00:19:51,900 --> 00:19:54,611 [video game beeping] I'm just proud I helped you become a mom. 460 00:19:54,611 --> 00:19:55,737 [sniffling] 461 00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:58,031 [crying] 462 00:19:58,031 --> 00:20:00,158 I hope it works out for you tomorrow. 463 00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,827 - And if it doesn't, 464 00:20:01,827 --> 00:20:05,330 [sniffles] I'm sure you'll take good care of them. 465 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:07,583 [wailing] 466 00:20:08,083 --> 00:20:09,793 [sucking] 467 00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:12,629 - I refuse to die groveling. 468 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:14,298 But I'm open to sniveling. 469 00:20:14,298 --> 00:20:15,299 [sniveling] 470 00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:17,301 ♪ 471 00:20:20,179 --> 00:20:21,805 [stabbing] [tardigrades grunting] 472 00:20:24,641 --> 00:20:26,059 Naked Kif, 473 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,477 you saved my life! 474 00:20:27,477 --> 00:20:29,438 You have my undying loyalty. 475 00:20:29,438 --> 00:20:30,689 [tardigrades growling] 476 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:32,065 Eat Kif! He's boneless! 477 00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,026 [sniveling] 478 00:20:34,026 --> 00:20:35,777 [tardigrades roaring] 479 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,321 ♪ 480 00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:39,489 - This one's for Axl, Mandy, 481 00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:41,116 and little what's-his-name. 482 00:20:41,116 --> 00:20:42,117 [gun cocks] 483 00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:45,537 [soft, high growling] 484 00:20:45,537 --> 00:20:47,956 ♪ 485 00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:54,463 [tardigrades growl] 486 00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:57,424 [shotgun cocks] 487 00:20:57,424 --> 00:20:58,550 [panting] 488 00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,260 [zapping] 489 00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:01,261 [yelps] 490 00:21:01,887 --> 00:21:03,889 ♪ 491 00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:07,518 - I am the Grand Midwife from the other day, 492 00:21:07,518 --> 00:21:10,938 inquisitor for the challenge of Amy Wong. 493 00:21:10,938 --> 00:21:13,357 Amy, where is your smizmale? 494 00:21:13,357 --> 00:21:14,983 - He isn't with me. 495 00:21:14,983 --> 00:21:18,862 - Oh, the sorrow! Oh, the shame! 496 00:21:18,862 --> 00:21:20,322 - There he is! 497 00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:22,282 [helicopter whirring] 498 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,576 - Okay, but it doesn't lessen the shame. 499 00:21:25,786 --> 00:21:27,663 - Kif! - Amy! 500 00:21:27,663 --> 00:21:29,164 MANDY/AXL: Daddy! 501 00:21:30,374 --> 00:21:32,251 - I don't remember him. 502 00:21:32,251 --> 00:21:34,378 - So, like, did you do war stuff? 503 00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:37,214 - I did what a Daddy had to do. 504 00:21:37,214 --> 00:21:38,257 ♪ 505 00:21:38,257 --> 00:21:41,009 [baby tardigrades growl] 506 00:21:42,219 --> 00:21:43,220 [shotgun cocks] 507 00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:45,931 - Bear number 23 was also stupid, 508 00:21:45,931 --> 00:21:49,226 fighting for scraps while I dined on salmon tartare. 509 00:21:49,226 --> 00:21:51,144 [mocking chewing] 510 00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:53,564 None for you, losers! [laughs] 511 00:21:54,273 --> 00:21:55,732 [yelps] 512 00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,527 Oh! 513 00:21:58,527 --> 00:21:59,945 [splat] 514 00:21:59,945 --> 00:22:02,030 [tardigrades growl] 515 00:22:02,030 --> 00:22:04,741 ♪ dramatic music ♪ 516 00:22:05,284 --> 00:22:08,495 - The challenge may play out over days or weeks 517 00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:11,874 within the brutal confines of the Inquisidome. 518 00:22:11,874 --> 00:22:13,625 Some call it a tiki hut. 519 00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:16,920 - Leela's gonna watch you guys while we're in there. 520 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,046 [sniffles] 521 00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:20,090 And maybe a little longer. 522 00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:22,384 But whatever happens, 523 00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:24,386 you're going to be okay. 524 00:22:24,803 --> 00:22:25,804 [sniffles] 525 00:22:25,804 --> 00:22:27,556 - You are, too. 526 00:22:27,556 --> 00:22:30,559 [bubbling] 527 00:22:30,559 --> 00:22:33,562 ♪ 528 00:22:38,483 --> 00:22:41,069 - The challenge is a challenging challenge, 529 00:22:41,069 --> 00:22:44,072 dating from when our language had few words. 530 00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:46,867 It will incorporate a battery of genetic tests 531 00:22:46,867 --> 00:22:49,870 and a full neuropsychological obstacle course, 532 00:22:49,870 --> 00:22:52,873 but it begins with a simple question. 533 00:22:52,873 --> 00:22:54,041 Amy Wong. 534 00:22:54,041 --> 00:22:57,711 Do you or do you not love those children? 535 00:22:57,711 --> 00:23:00,714 ♪ 536 00:23:01,590 --> 00:23:04,635 - More than I knew I could love anything. 537 00:23:05,844 --> 00:23:07,846 - Which is all that truly matters. 538 00:23:08,889 --> 00:23:10,724 The challenge is over. 539 00:23:10,724 --> 00:23:12,309 You are their mother 540 00:23:12,309 --> 00:23:14,937 and always will be. 541 00:23:14,937 --> 00:23:15,938 [gasps] 542 00:23:17,648 --> 00:23:19,650 [creaking, cracking] 543 00:23:20,609 --> 00:23:22,569 Oops! That wasn't supposed to happen. 544 00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:24,404 Cheap, lousy wall. 545 00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:28,033 Children! You may now come hug your mother and father. 546 00:23:28,033 --> 00:23:30,202 For only a small additional fee. 547 00:23:30,202 --> 00:23:33,789 [kids laughing] 548 00:23:33,789 --> 00:23:36,500 - You're my favorite mommy. 549 00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:39,044 ♪ 550 00:23:39,044 --> 00:23:40,879 [cork pops] [sniffles] 551 00:23:40,879 --> 00:23:42,589 - Who wants treacle? 552 00:23:42,589 --> 00:23:45,259 [cooing] 553 00:23:45,676 --> 00:23:47,386 - Strong stuff, huh? 554 00:23:47,386 --> 00:23:48,428 [Leela sniffles] 555 00:23:49,263 --> 00:23:50,264 [clink] 556 00:23:50,264 --> 00:23:53,267 [Newt cooing] 557 00:23:57,354 --> 00:24:00,357 ♪