[ Whirring ]
[ Barking ]
[ Whimpering ]
GOOD NEWS, EVERYONE.
SEVERAL YEARS AGO, I TRIED TO LOG ON
TO A.O.L., AND IT JUST WENT THROUGH.
WHEE!
WE'RE ON-LINE.
GO AHEAD, GET INTO THESE NET SUITS.
I DESIGNED AND TESTED THEM MYSELF.
THEY SMELL LIKE BURNING RHESUS MONKEY.
REALLY? I GUESS WHEN YOU'RE AROUND IT ALL DAY
YOU STOP NOTICING.
OFF YOU GO.
BEHOLD!
THE INTERNET!
MY GOD.
IT'S FULL OF ADS.
[ Ads Screaming ]
[ Both Moaning ]
WHOO!
[ Karate Yell ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Squawking Approaching ]
FOLLOW ME.
[ Squawking Continues ]
[ Fry ] IT'S IMMENSE.
IT'S GOT EVERY PIECE OF INFORMATION
ANYONE COULD EVER WANT.
SO I SEE.
[ Hooting And Laughing ]
WHAT? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
WOW!
[ People Chattering ]
HEY, THAT'S ME.
NO, IT ISN'T.
I JUST TOOK SOME PICTURES OF YOUR FACE
AND STUCK THEM ON SOMEONE ELSE'S BODY.
HEY...
ARE YOU OVER 18?
YES.
HI.
I'M TELLING YOU, FRY
THEY'VE GOT A CHAT ROOM FOR EVERYBODY.
AND HERE IT IS.
EWW. THAT IS SO GROSS.
YEAH.
I'LL STICK WITH THIS ONE, THANK YOU.
YEAH.
[ All Murmuring ]
[ Chuckling ]
HI.
I'M A NAUGHTY NURSE
AND I REALLY NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO.
$9.95 A MINUTE.
OH. YOU'RE A DOLLAR NAUGHTIER THAN MOST.
SO, HOW ABOUT THEM KNICKS?
[ Clicking Tongue ] [ Groans ]
HELLO? ARE THERE ANY GIRLS IN THIS ROOM AT ALL?
YEAH. BRING ON THE HOT CHICKS
'CAUSE I'M A HOT STUD.
[ Men ] YEAH.
SO ARE WE.
I'M A WOMAN IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN.
[ Men Murmuring ]
I DON'T LIKE TO PLAY GAMES, SO I'LL JUST SAY I'M A CYCLOPS.
I'M A SPACESHIP CAPTAIN; I'M THE ONLY ONE OF MY SPECIES,
AND I'M INTERESTED IN MEETING A MAN.
A WOMAN?
I'M SCARED.
WELL, THANKS TO THE INTERNET, I'M NOW BORED WITH SEX.
IS THERE A PLACE ON THE WEB THAT PANDERS TO MY LUST FOR VIOLENCE?
IS THE SPACE POPE REPTILIAN?
[ Hermes ] GET READY FOR FUN, FRY.
NOWADAYS WE HAVE A TYPE OF GAME PLAYED ENTIRELY ON VIDEO.
[ Leela ] WE CALL IT A VIDEO GAME.
A VIDEO GAME, YOU SAY?
WELL, GOLLY GEE.
YOU MIGHTY SPACEMEN OF THE FUTURE
WILL HAVE TO SHOW ME HOW IT WORKS.
♪♪ [ Up-tempo Techno ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Groans ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Grunts ]
[ Evil Laughter ]
THE DOCTOR IS IN.
THE DOCTOR IS OUT.
EVERYONE, PLEASE SIGN OFF.
WE HAVE A DELIVERY.
PLUS I HAVE TO USE THE PHONE TO...
[ Laughing ]
[ Grunting ]
LEELA, PLEASE TELL THE OTHERS THAT...
[ Screaming ]
WHOA.
[ Groaning ]
[ Screams ]
[ Sighs ]
WHO ARE YOU?
I SAW YOU IN THE CHAT ROOM
BUT YOU LEFT BEFORE I HAD A CHANCE TO TALK TO YOU.
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS OF SEARCHING FOR ANOTHER CYCLOPS.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I'VE DREAMED OF THIS MOMENT ALL MY LIFE.
DO YOU THINK PERHAPS, YOU AND I...
HA-HA!
FRY, YOU IDIOT.
EVER SINCE I WAS ABANDONED ON EARTH
I'VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR WHO MY PEOPLE ARE
AND WHERE THEY COME FROM.
THEN I FINALLY MEET ANOTHER CYCLOPS AND YOU BLAST HIM.
YOU WRECKED MY ONE CHANCE TO LEARN WHO I AM.
OH, LEELA, I FEEL TERRIBLE.
IF THERE'S ANYTHING I CAN EVER DO...
GOTCHA.
I WON!
I'M THE GREATEST!
[ Laughing ]
COME ON. WE HAVE WORK TO DO.
[ Groans ]
[ Sighs ]
ARE YOU STILLMAD AT ME FOR WRECKING
YOUR ONCE-IN-A- LIFETIME CHANCE
TO LEARN THE MEANING OF YOUR EXISTENCE?
NO. I'M JUST HAPPY YOU WERE ABLE TO WIN A VIDEO GAME.
NOW LET'S CONCENTRATE ON GETTING THIS DESPERATELY NEEDED POPCORN
TO THE PEOPLE OF CINEPLEX FOURTEEN, OKAY?
[ Computer ] Leela, you've got mail.
[ Sighs ]
It's not spam.
HUH?
IT'S HIM.
To Leela.
Subject, hello. I am Alcazar.
Fortunately, I wrote down your screen name
before I was dispatched by that oafish moron.
KICKED YOUR ASS.
Leela, we have much to discuss.
Please come join me on the planet of your birth.
Coordinates follow.
WELL, TOO BAD WE'VE GOT
TO MAKE THAT URGENT POPCORN DELIVERY.
[ Leela ] IT'LL GET THERE.
[ Leela ] AFTER A WHOLE LIFE OF SEARCHING
I MAY FINALLY HAVE FOUND WHERE I BELONG.
TOO BAD IT'S A DUMP.
LOOK AT THAT STATUE.
IT'S ONLY GOT ONE EYE.
LAZY SCULPTOR.
[ Man ] WELCOME HOME, LEELA.
ALCAZAR?
ARE YOU REAL
OR AM I SEEING SINGLE?
OW.
OF COURSE, I'M REAL.
AFTER ALL THIS TIME, SOMEBODY ELSE WITH ONE EYE
WHO ISN'T A CLUMSY CARPENTER OR A KID WITH A B.B. GUN.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, LEELA.
YOU'LL NEVER BE ALONE AGAIN.
COME.
LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO YOURSELF.
DO YOU MIND IF YOUR SERVANTS WALK?
NOT AT ALL.
[ Evil Laughter ]
[ Alcazar ] WE ARE THE LAST REMAINING CYCLOPES.
OUR PLANET IS CYCLOPIA.
THIS IS THE CAPITOL, CYCLOPS CITY.
STOP ME IF I'M GOING TOO FAST FOR YOU.
SO MUCH INFORMATION, AND YET, SOMEHOW
I FEEL AS IF I KNOW IT ALL ALREADY.
THIS SACRED MOSAIC DEPICTS OUR GODDESS OF BEAUTY.
HMM. YOU GOT ANY SACRED ARTWORK OF HER FROM THE BACK?
HER PERFECT EYE REMINDS ME OF YOURS, LEELA.
HAD OUR RACE SURVIVED
YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN A TEMPLE PRIESTESS
OR A SUPERMODEL.
OH, PLEASE. REALLY?
[ Goofy Humming ]
AND THERE'S THE INFAMOUS PIRATE PURPLE BEARD,
SCOURGE OF THE SIX SEAS.
WHAT'S OVER THAT HILL?
[ Alcazar ] THE FORBIDDEN VALLEY--
A HOLY SANCTUARY WHERE NO ONE MAY TREAD.
IS THAT ANYTHING LIKE A CEMETERY?
'CAUSE I GOT TO TAKE A LEAK. OW!
FRY, THAT'S OFFENSIVE TO OUR PEOPLE.
ISN'T IT?
OW.
THIS IS MY HOME.
I HOPE YOU DON'T THINK LESS OF ME
BECAUSE I LIVE IN A GIANT CASTLE.
OH, NO, NOT AT ALL.
IF ANYTHING, I'M MOREIMPRESSED.
OOH. I'M GOING TO NEED TO MAKE SOME ROOM.
AND HERE IS WHERE I DREAM MY LONELY DREAMS
AND COOK MY SIMPLE MEALS.
IT'S ALL SO SAD.
WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR PEOPLE?
[ Sighing ]
THAT'S TOO PAINFUL TO SPEAK OF NOW.
COME. I'LL SHOW YOU YOUR QUARTERS.
[ Whistling Casually ]
[ Clangs ]
OW. OW. OW.
[ Alcazar Sobbing ]
I HEARD YOU FROM MY ROOM.
WHAT'S WRONG?
NOTHING.
IT'S JUST...
NO, LEELA.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE TEARS IN YOUR PERFECT EYE.
PLEASE. IS IT ABOUT THE FATE OF OUR PEOPLE?
BECAUSE I'M VERY INTERESTED IN THAT.
WELL, OKAY
BUT IT'S CHILLY
AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE ALL WET FROM THE TEARS.
LET'S GO INTO MY CHAMBER.
IT WASN'T LONG AGO
OUR PEOPLE WERE HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS
BUT THE EYELESS MOLE PEOPLE OF SUB-TERRA THREE
GREW JEALOUS OF OUR VISUAL PROWESS.
THEY FIRED MISSILES IN ALL DIRECTIONS
HOPING TO HIT CYCLOPIA.
UNFORTUNATELY, ONE OF THE 40 PLANETS HIT WAS OURS.
HOW FAR AWAY DO YOU THINK IT IS?
A TRILLION MILES?
[ Alcazar ] THINGS GOT HOT.
YOU LOOK A LITTLE HOT, ACTUALLY.
YOU COULD TAKE OFF THAT JACKET.
OUR PEOPLE DON'T LIKE TO BE HOT.
ANYWAY, JUST BEFORE THE IMPACT
OUR SMARTEST SCIENTIST MANAGED TO SAVE ONE BABY.
[ Crying ]
ALCAZAR, I USED TO BE A BABY.
IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ME.
[ Alcazar ] FORTUNATELY, I WAS EMPLOYED AS A POOL CLEANER AT THE TIME
AND, WHEN I EMERGED FROM RETRIEVING A DEAD POSSUM
I FOUND I WAS THE ONLY ONE LEFT.
[ Anguished Cry ]
IT'S SO TRAGIC.
YES, BUT THE REAL TRAGEDY
IS THAT OUR RACE ENDS WITH US.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU'RE A MALE.
AND I'M A FEMALE.
I'M STILL NOT FOLLOWING YOU.
[ Smooching Sounds And Moaning ]
WAKE UP, MY KING.
[ Grunting, Hacking And Spitting ]
OH, GEEZ, WHAT A NIGHT.
MAKE ME SOME COFFEE, WOULD YA?
UH, SURE. OKAY.
WHAT DO YOU TAKE WITH THAT?
PANCAKES AND SAUSAGE.
KITCHEN'S IN THE BASEMENT; PANS ARE IN THE ATTIC.
MAYBE AFTER BREAKFAST
WE CAN TALK ABOUT REBUILDING OUR CIVILIZATION.
[ Snoring ]
MMM. GREAT PANCAKES, LEELA.
YEAH, THEY'LL COME IN HANDY
IF I NEED TO COVER ANY TINY MANHOLES.
[ Chuckling ]
[ Laughing ]
LISTEN, HON
WE DON'T WANT TO LOOK LIKE SLOBS
IN FRONT OF THE OTHER SPECIES, DO WE?
NO.
SO GET TO WORK ON THESE DISHES.
THEN ORGANIZE MY COLLECTION
OF NAKED CELEBRITY PHOTOS BY WHAT YOU CAN SEE.
LOOK, ALCAZAR...
CALL ME AL.
LOOK, AL
I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN LIVING ALONE A LONG TIME
AND I CAN SYMPATHIZE
BUT I'M NOT YOUR MAID.
YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY.
I GUESS THE RELATIONSHIP ISN'T GOING TO WORK OUT.
SO MUCH FOR THE CYCLOPS RACE.
I THOUGHT IT WAS A PRETTY GOOD RACE BUT...
OKAY, OKAY.
I'LL DO THE DISHES.
HEY, WHERE'D THEY GO?
[ Clanking ]
AH. LEELA IS EXPERIENCING
THE GREATEST JOY A WOMAN CAN FEEL--
WORSHIPPING SOME LOWLIFE JERK.
HE MAY BE SOME LOWLIFE JERK
BUT I DON'T TRUST HIM.
I THINK HE'S HIDING SOMETHING
AND I'M GOING TO FIND OUT WHAT IT IS.
[ Fiendish Laughter ]
TRY AND STOP ME.
[ Screaming ]
AL?
I DID MY HAIR THE WAY YOU WANTED IT.
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
FRIENDS.
HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THIS COUCH
AND THAT TV SET AND ALL THIS STUFF?
THEY WERE GIVING IT AWAY ON THE STREET CORNER
JUST LIKE YOU, LEELA.
[ Whooping And Hooting ]
TOO BAD THEY WEREN'T GIVING AWAY
THE THREE THINGS YOU ACTUALLY NEED--
MOUTHWASH, A BACK WAX, AND STAIN-PROOF UNDERWEAR.
[ Whooping And Hooting ]
YOU GO, GIRL!
BY THE WAY, YOUR PAL FRY FELL INTO THE DUNGEON.
TAKE HIM A TACO SO HE DOESN'T DIE AND STINK UP THE PLACE.
COME ON, AL.
CAN'T YOU LET THE LITTLE GUY OUT?
GEEZ, LEELA, TWICE IN ONE DAY?
I'M NOT SUPERMAN.
[ Whooping And Hooting ]
WHY WERE YOU SNEAKING
INTO MY PEOPLE'S FORBIDDEN VALLEY?
'CAUSE I THINK ALCAZAR'S HIDING SOMETHING FROM YOU.
LISTEN, LEELA, YOU MAY NOT LIKE IT.
YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE IT. YOU MAY NOT WANT TO HEAR IT.
BUT ALCAZAR'S A JERK. HE'S BAD FOR YOU. HE--
I KNOW.
YOU DO?
FRY, IF IT'S OBVIOUS TO YOU
WITH YOUR LEARNING DISABILITY
THEN, OF COURSE, IT'S OBVIOUS TO ME.
HE'S CRUDE AND GROSS, AND HE TREATS ME LIKE A SLAVE.
THEN DUMP HIS ONE-EYED ASS.
I CAN'T.
IF I LEAVE ALCAZAR
THAT'S THE END OF THE CYCLOPS RACE
AND I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN
EVEN IF IT MEANS A LIFETIME OF UNHAPPINESS.
[ Toilet Flushing ]
[ Alcazar ] LEELA, MOP UP IN AISLE NUMBER TWO.
[ Animals Laughing And Hooting ]
I'LL BREAK UP WITH HIM AT DINNER.
I'LL BE THERE.
YO, LEELA, WHAT GIVES?
PIG SAYS YOUR SLOP TASTES LIKE CRAP.
YEAH, LIKE CRAP.
[ Snorting ]
COME ON, LEELA.
YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS GUY.
DUMP HIM ALREADY.
I'M TRYING.
[ Clinking ]
HEY, EVERYONE, JAM A SOCK IN YOUR SPIT FAUCETS.
NOT LONG AGO, I SPENT MY LONELY NIGHTS
RENTING SLASHER FLICKS WITH RAT MAN
AND HIS GIRLFRIEND.
BUT THEN A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ARRIVED...
STOP EATING, PIG!
AND SHE BROUGHT NEW HOPE FOR ME
AND OUR ONCE-GREAT CIVILIZATION.
NOW, A MILLION CENTURIES OF CYCLOPS DESTINY
DEPEND ON THE ANSWER TO ONE QUESTION.
LEELA, WILL YOU MARRY ME?
NO. NO.
YES, I WILL!
OH!
THEY'REGETTING MARRIED.
CONGRATULATIONS, LEELA.
[ All Congratulating ]
GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
IT'S A MAGICAL DAY.
WELCOME!
PSST! LEELA!
YOU'VE GOT TO GET ME OUT OF HERE.
IT'S HORRIBLE-- EATING SCRAPS
LETTING MY WASTE DROP WHEREVER IT FALLS
LIKE AN ANIMAL IN A ZOO.
ANIMALS GO IN THE CORNER.
THE CORNER.
WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?
LOOK, FRY, I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU
BUT IT'S MY WEDDING, AND I'M KIND OF BUSY.
HERE. TRY TO BE HAPPY FOR ME.
THAT WAY, AT LEAST ONE OF US WILL BE.
THAT'S IT.
IT'S TIME FOR THIS BIRD TO WALK.
[ Grunting ]
[ Giddy Laughter ]
OW!
[ Groans ]
BENDER!
COME ON, WE'VE GOT TO GET SOME DIRT ON ALCAZAR.
LET'S GO FIND OUT WHAT MAKES THE FORBIDDEN VALLEY SO FORBIDDEN.
EH, NO THANKS. I'M GOOD.
BUT THERE'S PROBABLY SOME COOL FORBIDDEN STUFF YOU CAN STEAL.
I DON'T KNOW, FRY.
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I FEEL LIKE...
I'VE STOLEN ENOUGH.
BENDER, SNAP OUT OF IT.
[ Sputtering ]
SORRY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME.
LET'S GO!
♪ I LOVE STEALIN' ♪
♪ I LOVE TAKIN' THINGS ♪
[ Yawns ]
[ Plays Reggae "Here Comes The Bride" ]
[ Raspberry ]
THAT PIG OVER THERE IS WEARING THE SAME SANDALS AS ME.
[ Lizards Snarl And Hiss ]
COME ON, BOY, JUMP!
GOOD BOY.
[ Bender ] WHOA, MITTENS.
[ Lizard Screeches ]
[ Fry And Bender Gasp ]
MY GOD!
FOUR IDENTICAL CASTLES.
EACH MORE IDENTICAL THAN THE LAST.
[ Fry ] THAT'S WEIRD.
IT'S ANOTHER CYCLOPS.
ONLY THIS ONE HAS FIVE EYES.
AND HERE'S ANOTHER ONE WITH NOEYES.
DOES ANYONE HAVE A REASON WHY THIS COUPLE
SHALL NOT BE JOINED
IN THE IRREVOCABLE SHACKLES OF HOLY BLISS?
SAVING A RACE OF ONE-EYED MONSTERS?
WHO COULD OBJECT TO THAT?
CUT TO THE CHASE, PREACH.
DO YOU, ALCAZAR, TAKE THIS WOMAN...
POORER, IN SICKNESS, TO LOVE, DEATH, PART?
YEAH, SURE, I DO. COME ON-- FASTER!
DO YOU, LEELA, COPY AND PASTE HIS RESPONSE
TILL DEATH DO YOU PART?
I... D--
[ Lizards Screeching ]
[ All Gasping ]
OH, MY GOD.
[ Squeals ]
WHAT THE...?
HEY, ALCAZAR,
YOU LEFT SOMEBODY OFF THE GUEST LIST.
[ Panting ] ALCAZAR!
[ Italian Accent ] WHY YOU ARE SO LATE
FOR OUR WEDDING?
AND WHY YOU HAVE ONLY ONE EYE?
IT'S... [ Chuckles ]
OOH.
UH, HEY, SWEETIE.
JUST GO BACK TO THE CASTLE AND WAIT FOR ME.
[ Gasping ] SHE... SHE'S NUTS.
I CAN MORPH INTO A FIVE-EYED ALIEN
AND I KIND OFSAID I'D MARRY HER.
BUT I'M REALLY A CYCLOPS
AND I'M REALLY GOING TO MARRY YOU.
OH, YEAH? THEN WHAT ABOUT THIS?
UH... [ Chuckles ]
UH... THIS IS A BIT AWKWARD.
WHO'S A-SHE?
WHO'S SHE?
WHO ARE THEY?
GO BACK TO THE CASTLE, SANDY.
AND MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO MEET HER
AND HER.
UH, EH, UH...
THIS, UM... [ Chuckling ]
LEELA...
THIS MUST ALL BE VERY CONFUSING.
A LITTLE.
THAT'S WHY I'VE DECIDED TO HURT YOU
UNTIL YOU EXPLAIN IT.
[ Yelling And Grunting ]
SHOW US YOUR REALFORM.
YEAH!
DO IT!
[ Snorts ]
WELL, THIS IS THE REAL ME, BUT I CAN EXPLAIN.
WE ALL HAVE NEEDS.
MINE WAS TO MAKE IT WITH FIVE WEIRDOS
AND HAVE THEM SCRUB MY FIVE CASTLES.
I GAVE YOU ALL WHAT YOU WANTED
AND, OF COURSE, I MADE A FEW BUCKS LETTING PIG
WATCH THROUGH THE TWO-WAY MIRROR.
CAN ANY OF YOU SAY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DONE
THE EXACT SAME THING IN MY POSITION?
[ Weeping ] HE'S A SAINT.
BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE ALL FIVE WEDDINGS ON THE SAME DAY?
HEY, LADY, YOU GOT ANY IDEA WHAT IT COSTS
TO RENT A TUX THAT CHANGES SHAPE?
ALL RIGHT, ALCAZAR.
I JUST HAVE ONE LAST QUESTION FOR YOU.
WHAT'S THAT?
IF YOU COULD CHANGE FORM
WHY DIDN'T YOU CHANGE IT IN THE ONEPLACE THAT COUNTS?
[ Whooping And Jeering ]
[ Farnsworth Laughs Alone ]
[ Bender Humming ]
THANKS FOR SAVING ME FROM THAT CREEP, FRY.
HEY, THAT'S WHAT I DO.
I GUESS I WAS SO DESPERATE TO FIND OUT WHO I REALLY WAS
I FORGOT WHO I REALLY WAS.
NO HARM DONE.
IN THE MANY DECADES YOU'LL WORK TO REPAY ME
FOR THAT SHIPMENT OF POPCORN YOU DESTROYED
YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO SEARCH FOR YOUR TRUE HOME.
YEAH.
I MEAN, HOW MANY PLANETS CAN THERE BE?