[ Man ] One, two! One, two, three!
- Guidance system? - On-line.
- Autopilot? - Present.
- Dark matter indicator? - Making a noise.
All systems operational. Let's rock.
[ Horns Honking, People Shouting ]
Gentlemen, I've completed my report on the crash.
Whoa! I'm not readin' that crap! Summarize it in one word.
- Sabotage. - [ All Gasp ]
This is a normal L-unit. Without it,
space travel is but the fevered dream of a madman.
Of course!Duh!
- It's an important unit. - And this, my friends,
is the L-unit I just removed from the ship.
[ All Gasp ]
That doesn't look like an "L" at all, unless you count lowercase.
You know we don't!Ooh!
Whoever did this was strong. This is 340 pounds of Tonka-tough steel.
Hmm. It should look like this.
But instead it looks like this.
-Who would do a thing like that? -Who coulddo a thing like that?
And by "that" I mean this.
Well, gang, it looks like we have another mystery on our hands.
I'd better make a chart of the suspects.
I'll begin by drawing a line with my straightedge.
[ Gasps ] Sweet lamprey of Santa Fe!
My edge has been bent!
My javelin too! It's ruined!
Now we'll never beat Jupiter State.
My Slinky! My cuddly little pet Slinky!
[ Sobbing ]
What's all the hubbub?
My God! Even the professor's been bent!
Thank you for your sympathy, talking square of linoleum.
I'll get you fixed up.
Ohhh!That's fine.
Wait a minute! Bender, what did you just do to the professor?
- I bent him. - [ All Gasp ]
Bender! J'accuse.
Oh, I see. A bunch of stuff gets bent,
so it must be the robot designed for bending.
I know how to settle this.
We'll check last night's surveillance tapes.Surveillance?
What tapes?You've seen me naked?
♪♪ [ Humming ]
Ah! Last night's tape. It was right next to "Bathroom Bloopers Four."
[ Snoring ][ Owls Hooting ]
[ Bender ] See? Nothin'. Told you, losers!
Wait. There on the screen. It's that guy you are!
[ All Gasp ]I'm sleepwalkin'.
Dear Lord, we've got robots on the ceiling!
[ Babbling ]
[ Grunting ]
[ All Gasping ]
[ Bones Cracking ][ Groans ]
[ Snoring Continues ]
You weren't sleepwalking. You were sleep-bending.
This is quite a shock! On the other hand, it's not surprising in the least.
After all, I've been bending since the day I was built.
[ Bender Narrating ] I was born on an assembly line in the bad part of Tijuana.
[ Squeaking ]
Mama. Wah! Wah! Wah!
[ Moaning ]
[ Gulping ]
[ Beeping ]
Hooray! I graduated!
Time to bend around Europe for a few months,
then get a job bending.
You remember your own birth?Sure. It was only four years ago.
- You're only four years old? - Precocious little scamp, ain't I?
Hmm. Bender must have a pent-up need to bend...
that's not being satisfied by his bend-free lifestyle.
Then he can't stay here. He's a menace to every straight person in the company.
Go satisfy your bend lust,
and don't you come back to work until you do!
[ Chanting ] No more bending! No more work!
Give us a raise, you big fat jerk!
Nevers!
[ Whistles ] Yo! The mafia supports ya!
But don't tell no one. Spread the word.
As the duly elected mobsters of this union,
it's our duty to support the struggle of these proud, lazy slobs.
Yeah, but what if management remains "intragnizent"?
From the context, it is clear what you mean.
In that case, Clamps may have a little surprise for them.
The clamps! Right?
[ Sinister Laughing ]
[ Low Chanting ]Ah, no! A strike?
Now I'll never get to bend anything!
Oh, woe is Bender!Hang tough, brother.
Management refused our demand to switch casual Friday to Monday.
What?And now they're hiring scabs at 10 times the normal wage.
Ten times normal wage! I'll give those jerks what for!
[ Angry Chattering ]
Welcomes aboard, scab.Great to be here.
Come on. I'll introduces you to your scab coworkers you'll be scabbin' with.
This here's our scab foreman.
- Flexo? - Bender?
Hey, sorry you got sent to that South American Turkish prison...
instead of me on account of mistaken identity.
You bastard! They treated me like an animal! And that's what I became!
[ Laughs ] Nah, you're all right. Good to see ya, buddy.
And here's another scab what also works here.
- Angleene. - [ Gasps ]
Hello!
Hey! Youse guyses wanna move that thing?
- Hello! - [ Deep Laughter, Coughs ]
[ Chanting ] Give us a raise, you big fat jerk!
[ Foreman ] Nevers![ Grunting ]
[ Grunting Continues ]
[ Sighs ] Ow!
Um, hi, Angleene. Whatcha up to?
Makin' hangers. Guidance counselor said I had a knack for it.
That's cool. That's cool. So, um, uh,
I was wonderin' if-- you know, it's cool if not--
but what are you doin' after work?
What I always do. Jack squat.
[ Chuckles ] Me too. Man, we have a lot in common, huh?
Well, we are made of virtually identical components.
Are you sure? Maybe I should sneak a peak at your access panel.
Hey, according to the Scab Handbook,
that's extremely inappropriate banter.
And that's just the way I like it.
Haile H. Selassie!
There, little friend. Good as new.
[ Sobbing ]
[ Farnsworth ] What an exquisite day![ Wheels Squeaking ]
That azure sky. The verdant treetops.
Those delightful birds with their chirp, chirp, chirp and their tweet, tweet, splat.
Professor, I've never seen you so cheerful.
What the hell's wrong with you?Hmm. I'm not quite sure.
Perhaps seeing things from a new perspective has reminded me of life's beauty.
Or perhaps my new posture is causing blood to pool in the back of my brain,
resulting in a mild delirium.
Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose.
I wish. It's a nickel.
[ Murmuring ]Union forever!
Lousy scabs! They can't do those things! Et cetera!
[ Grunting ]
I bet watchin' me bend girders like this turns your legs all rubbery.
Well, my legs aremade of rubber.
And anyway, I am just as strong as you are, Mac.
Oh, yeah? Prove it.
[ Grunting ]
[ Groans ]
Here, let me help you.
[ Electricity Crackling ]
♪ Bend me, shape me any way you want me ♪
♪ Long as you love me it's all right ♪
♪ Bend me, shape me any way you want me ♪
♪ You got the power to turn on the light ♪
♪ Bend me, shape me any way you want me ♪
♪ Long as you love me it's all right ♪
♪ Bend me, shape me any way you want me ♪
♪ Long as you love me it's all right ♪[ Professor Groaning ]
[ Both Laughing ] ♪ Bend me, shape me any way you want me ♪♪
My new bent outlook has completely reenergized me.
I'm even dating a young Brazilian retired actress.[ All Congratulating ]
Some say I'm robbing the cradle,
but I say she's robbing the grave.
Howdy, doodies! What's new?
I was just regaling your former coworkers...
with a tale of bedroom antics the likes of which--
Yeah, yeah, big whoop. No one cares.
I got Bender-related news. I'm in love.
And I'm takin' all my friends out to celebrate.
[ All Cheering ][ Amy ] Let's go live it up!
[ Groans ]
Hey, look at this crowd. You guys gotta try the pasta.
It's got a real nice profit margin.
Bam! So, special occasion tonight?
Oh, Elzar, you'll never guess what's happened!
- Bam? - I've met the most dynamite ladybot.
Hey, that's terrific.
To celebrate, I'm gonna stick seven copies of my latest cookbook on your bill.
Bless you, sir.
So, Bender, tell us about this new girlfriend of yours.
I intend to, through the lost art of the toast.
To Angleene! She's got it all--
looks, charm and the love of a fabulous bending robot.
She sure does.
[ Both Giggling ]
Flexo! [ Grunting ]
Careful! That's a week old!
I finally meet a nice girl, with a pair of legs that don't quit unexpectedly,
and that jerk Flexo steals her away?
It's time to kick some shiny metal ass!
You degenerate hussy!
I'm disappointed in you too, Angleene.
Bender, it's-it's not what you think.
Oh, God, then it's worse than I think!
Now look, there is no reason to be upset.
- Flexo and I are divorced. - Div-- Huh?
We're just havin' dinner 'cause we wanna stay friends.
Ah, I knew that.
What I'm actually outraged by is your choice of wine!
Really, it's the steward's fault.[ Slap ]
Excellent choice, sir.
That Flexo! Why, I'm knockin' him right on his butt.
Can't believe this. [ Muttering ]
Obsessing won't help, Bender.
Take a lean back and enjoy life.
I can't. My fembot may be in love with another manbot.
Well, talk to her. Tell her about your feelings in an open and honest way.
Yeah. Either that or be a man.
[ Bender ] Okay, I've constructed an elaborate lie.
I'll call Angleene while pretending to be Flexo,
arrange a date, show up disguised as him...
and catch her two-timing me with myself.
That's thinkin' like a man.
♪♪ [ Touch Tones ]
Hello? This is Flexo.
[ Door Opens, Closes ]
Now we'll see who loves whom. [ Sinister Laughing ]
♪♪ [ Rock ][ Chattering ]
Hey, hot stuff.Hey, Flexo.
So since when do you go to bars on work nights?
It's not like you at all.Nonsense. It's exactly like me.
Flexo, the fun-lovin' love machine fembots love to love.
Hey, barkeep, I'll have a fuzzy navel,
and she'll have the girliest drink in the house.
Two fuzzy navels comin' up.
I hope they can make change for a fortune.
Yo, get an eyeload of that filthy scab with the beard...
flashin' his filthy scab money.
- It's an insult to you, boss. - Yeah.
That cash oughta be slushin' my fund and kicks-in' my back.
I'm greasin' up my whoozits.
Whoa, whoa, Clamps. Not yet.
Let's just keep an eye on him and see if he does it a couple more times.
You're looking good to Flexo tonight.
Quit makin' with the googly eyes. You know that I'm in love with Bender.
Bender? That walkin' wuss factory?
He may be a walkin' factory, but believe me, he is no wuss.
Now look, you and me are through. I told you that when I divorced you.
But goin' through a divorce together,
you can't tell me that didn't bring us closer.
Care to dance?
Well, you know I love dancin', but you always hated it.
In that case, it's somethin' I've always wanted to make up to you.
♪♪ [ Techno ]
Hey, Scratchmo!
How about droppin' me and the lady some rump-rattlin' beats?
I had hoped by the second time he flashed his cash,
my rage would've subsided.
Sadly, that has not happened.
♪♪ [ Techno Continues ]
You used to be so inflexible, Flexo.
You have really loosened up.
I recently upgraded my funk card.
[ Grunting ] Come on!
All right!Come on, now!
What's new? Huh?
Ugh!
Flexo? What's goin' on?
[ Laughs ] Did, um--
Oh! Flexo!
[ All Shouting ]
So the moral of the story is...
if you want it to stay sunk, tie a weight to it!
[ Both Laughing ]
You know, you always were a kick in the teeth, man.
Ah, shucks, thunder buns. You make me feel like a million volts.
Oh, Flexo, Flexo, Flexo.
I'm startin' to remember why I fell for you in the first place.
[ Thinking ] So, she's fallin' for Flexo, eh?
I'd better seduce her a little more, just to be sure.
Well, it's late. I should get home to my trailer.
I'll walk you out.
After all, a true gentlemen tends to his date's every need.
Tiparillo?
Here you are, my lad.
Bring the lady's car around in the finest way possible.
He's flashin' his cash loaf again.
How many times is that? Two or three?Three.
All right. That's the necessary number of times.
That scab's gonna have a little on-the-job accident.
With all due respect, Donbot,
I don't think we should rely on an accident happenin'.
- Let's kill him ourselves. - [ Groans ]
Well, good night. I had a great time.
How about a lift... to your place?
- What? - Admit it.
You felt somethin' for me tonight.
And by "me" I mean Flexo.
Hey, look, I had fun, but--
But?But--
Bu-u-u-t?
[ Panting ] But--
[ Both Moaning ]
Huh? Bender! You tricked me!
That's right, baby! I ain't your lover boy Flexo,
the guy you love so much!
You even love anybody pretending to be him!
Well, maybe I love you so much, I love you no matter who you'repretending to be.
Oh, how I wish I could believe or understand that!
There's only one reasonable course of action now.
Kill Flexo! Ow!
No-o-o-o!
♪♪ [ Humming ]
- [ Grunts ] - Thanks. I appreciate that.
[ Laughs ] Nah, I'm joshin' ya. That was quite annoying.
You call yourself divorced?
You're makin' a mockery of one of our oldest institutions!
What?[ Both Grunting ]
All right, boss. Give the word,
and I'll drop this unbendable girder-- clamp, clamp, ka-bamp!
Remember, only kill the one with the beard.
That other filthy scab, we got nothin' against.
[ Grunting Continues ]
- That's low! - Please stop! I'm not worth it!
Probably not, but I love you,
and I'm gonna kick his ass till I win you back!
[ Grunting Continues ]
Whoa! Hey! [ Donbot ] Okay, Clamps, now.
- [ Grunts ] - [ Screaming ]
Oh, that's gotta clamp!
Flexo, are-are you okay?
Yeah. Never better. [ Coughing ]
Nah, I'm yankin' your chain. I'm dyin'.
You can't die! Tonight Bender showed me that I love you.
But... I love you.
[ Angleene ] I know, and I care for you too.
But I could never love anyone as much as you made me realize I love Flexo!
[ Sobbing ]But-- But--
[ Sighs ] I love you so much, Angleene,
I want you to be happy, no matter what.
But what are you sayin'?
I'm sayin' I've got an unbendable girder to bend.
You can't bend that girder. It's unbendable!
Well, I don't know anything about lifting,
so that just leaves us the one option.
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting Continues ]
Thanks, buddy. Another year under that, and I'd have been a goner.
I'll always remember this, Bender.
Me too. Me too.
Jerk.
So, Flexo and Angleene had sex right there on the factory floor?
Well, at least you got bending out of your system.
Yes. I won't be up to bending again for a long, long time.
Perhaps it's your outlook that needs a good bend--
a 90-degree bend--
to a place where happiness is perpendicular to wonderment.
Professor, we're all sick of your upbeat attitude.[ All Agreeing ]
Nonsense. It's just like in the song I wrote.
♪ We all need a new angle on life ♪
[ Sighs ] Bender, you've gotta help us.
I try to get out, but they keep pullin' me back in!
♪ Wangle a new dangle on life ♪ [ Bones Cracking, Groaning ]
No, Bender! The other way!I like him better this way.
I'm sad now.
Eh, it's fine.