1 00:00:04,871 --> 00:00:07,440 [ Man ] One, two! One, two, three! 2 00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:36,469 [ Both Gasp ] 3 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:40,207 So I says, "Supercollider? I just met her." 4 00:00:40,307 --> 00:00:42,409 [ Raucous Laughter ] 5 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,978 And then they built the supercollider. 6 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:49,216 Thank you. You've been a great audience. [ Raucous Applause ] 7 00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:52,152 Humorbot 5.0, ladies and gentlemen. 8 00:00:52,253 --> 00:00:56,289 Our next stand-up's a veteran of four comedy traffic schools. 9 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,759 Give it way up for Bobcat Zoidberg! 10 00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:03,496 - [ Raucous Cheering ] - All right! 11 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,966 Earth. What a planet. 12 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,736 On Earth, you enjoy eating a tasty clam. 13 00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:13,641 On my planet, clams enjoy eating a tasty you. 14 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:17,644 - [ Glass Clinking ] - Maybe I'm not yelling loud enough. 15 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:21,314 [ Yelling ] On Earth, everybody is always looking for a giant squid. 16 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:25,085 On my planet-- [ Slurps, Swallows Hard ] 17 00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:27,454 Reload. 18 00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:31,259 So these three parasitic worms bore into a human's head, 19 00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:35,329 [ All Groaning ] and they walk up to the bar and then-- 20 00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,831 Uh-oh. Wait! Stop! I've got more! 21 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:42,034 [ Grunts, Groans ] [ Audience Applauds ] 22 00:01:44,138 --> 00:01:48,676 My whole life, I worked on that act, and they hated it. 23 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:53,381 You're a crazy, penniless lobster doctor. No combination of you should be a comedian. 24 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,783 But comedy is in my valves. 25 00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:58,319 My Uncle Harold was a big Hollywood star... 26 00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:00,688 back in the era of silent holograms. 27 00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:05,459 - Your uncle was Harold Zoid? - This I cannot deny. 28 00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:10,163 Why, I've been a Harold Zoid fan since back when my hips were made of bone. 29 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:15,302 As it happens, I still have some of my original 78s. 30 00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,971 [ Blows ] 31 00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:25,045 [ Projector Whirring ] ** [ Fanfare ] 32 00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:31,852 ** [ Organ ] 33 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,723 [ All Laughing Uproariously ] 34 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,695 You're right, crabby. He's a hell of a lot funnier than you could ever be. 35 00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:20,967 Maybe so, but perhaps if I wrote him and asked for a few hundred pointers-- 36 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:24,638 This letter has to be very personal, 37 00:03:24,737 --> 00:03:28,376 so I'm writing it in my own ink. [ Liquid Squelching ] 38 00:03:31,444 --> 00:03:35,483 [ Thinking ] Dear Uncle Zoid, Greetings from your long-lost nephew. 39 00:03:35,582 --> 00:03:38,319 Norm and Sam and Sadie's boy? Remember? 40 00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:43,156 Now I am the most important doctor at the delivery company where I work. 41 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:46,993 But sadly, my life is bereft of laughter. 42 00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:50,730 "I beg of you, Mr. Funny Uncle. Teach me the comedy business. 43 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:55,302 Sincerely, Zoidberg." Oh, isn't that nice he took the time? 44 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,805 What's that scribble-di-gook? 45 00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:01,140 This is a fan letter from my rich doctor nephew, 46 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,978 who just might be my ticket out of this flophouse, he might. 47 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,580 [ Scoffs ] 48 00:04:09,516 --> 00:04:12,520 Yeah, you'd better run. 49 00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:15,522 [ Liquid Squelching ] 50 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:22,262 Dear rich doctor nephew, I can help you be funny. 51 00:04:22,362 --> 00:04:25,533 The first funny thing you must do is put all your money... 52 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:28,935 in the form of a cashier's check and come to Hollywood. 53 00:04:29,036 --> 00:04:33,173 "Sincerely, Harold Zoid. P.S. Cashier's check." 54 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:36,677 Did you hear that? I'm going to Hollywood! 55 00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:56,730 Welcome to Hollywood. I must warn you-- 56 00:04:56,829 --> 00:05:00,800 There's no refund if you get discovered and leave the tour. 57 00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:04,904 [ Giggling ] I'm just kidding. That never happens. 58 00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:10,009 Now, to your right, you'll see 30th Century Fox studios. 59 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:15,081 Fox uses those searchlights to blind pilots, then film the resulting plane crashes. 60 00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:23,824 - Neat. - Ahead, you'll see the home of Mel Gibson, 61 00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:27,995 star of the hit film, Bravehead. 62 00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:33,567 Do we have any fans of Calculon, star of the robot soap opera, All My Circuits? 63 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,002 Oh, I am! Me! Bender is! 64 00:05:36,103 --> 00:05:40,574 Then you'll wanna get a close look at his luxurious Bel Air home. 65 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:44,745 Yes, I will. Yep! 66 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,380 [ Doorbell Buzzes ] 67 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:50,016 Are you my new hot water heater? No. I'm Bender. 68 00:05:50,117 --> 00:05:52,685 We met once. Remember? Absolutely not. 69 00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:56,723 Come on. Don't you remember how much I was bugging you? Don't you? 'Cause it was a lot. 70 00:05:56,824 --> 00:06:00,528 You remember, right? Look, I'm programmed to be very busy. 71 00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:05,132 Unless you can heat water to 212°, I'm not interested. 72 00:06:05,232 --> 00:06:09,403 [ Doorbell Buzzes ] Have you got an extra "goto 10" line? 73 00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:14,475 I said I don't need a Bender. Bender? That was the other guy. My name's Boiler. 74 00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:20,112 Nice work, Boiler. Thanks. And call me Bender. 75 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:28,456 That's where I'm meeting Uncle Zoid for lunch to discuss my Hollywood dreams. 76 00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:32,593 Next time you see me, don't be surprised if I've eaten. 77 00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:36,295 [ Trilling ] 78 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:42,470 Uncle Zoid, you're looking young enough to be thrown back. 79 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:45,072 Rich nephew! Come over here... 80 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:48,742 and give your uncle a nice, big meal. 81 00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:51,911 [ Grunts ] 82 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:56,115 So, here we are, a still-famous film comedian-- 83 00:06:56,216 --> 00:07:00,420 And a rich, respected doctor with many surviving patients. 84 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:04,190 Eating real food in a restaurant, as we both often do. 85 00:07:04,290 --> 00:07:08,427 So, you want to be a comedian, is it? It's my lifelong dream. 86 00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:12,665 Well, that dream dies now! You're unfunny and untalented! 87 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:17,204 - That's why you're perfect for drama. - Hmm. Serious drama. 88 00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:20,841 Perhaps it is time to give up comedy. 89 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,942 [ Onlookers Laughing ] 90 00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:27,514 I'm putting together a big drama picture right now as we speak. 91 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:32,019 The script is dynamite. I know, because I wrote it myself. 92 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:35,322 And with me directing and starring, I'll be back on top... 93 00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:40,159 after 50 miserable years... of fame. 94 00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:42,829 Ah, fame. Where do I come in? 95 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:46,332 This fame film has a juicy part for you... 96 00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:49,970 if you completely finance it with your doctor money. 97 00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:53,906 - So, are you in? - Uh, okay. 98 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:58,512 - How much do I have to invest? - Oh, not much. Not much. A million dollars. 99 00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:03,516 - [ Spits ] - Then it's settled. Another blockbuster Hollywood deal. 100 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:06,485 What can I get you gentlemen? Is bread free? 101 00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:08,521 Yeah. We'll split an order. 102 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:14,694 ** [ "Hooray For Hollywood" ] 103 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:18,264 ** [ Fades ] [ Sobbing ] 104 00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:20,533 What's with Monstro? 105 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,737 He promised he'd give his Uncle Zoid a million bucks to make a movie. 106 00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,707 I've only been here a day, and already I'm a Hollywood phony. 107 00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:33,179 Perhaps I could call on TV's Calculon to help, now that I'm in showbiz. 108 00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:37,116 - Since when have you been in the biz? - Long enough, little man. 109 00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:39,787 Long enough. 110 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:42,121 [ Wrist Squeaking ] 111 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:48,360 [ Warbling ] 112 00:08:57,070 --> 00:09:00,707 Calculon, as your hot water heater, I would be remiss... 113 00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:04,812 if I didn't bring you scripts that could make you an international film star. 114 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:08,280 Of course. Tell me about the project. It's a movie. 115 00:09:08,380 --> 00:09:11,884 Interesting. Tell me more. Get this. 116 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:16,489 For a scant one-million-dollar investment, you can be the star. 117 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:20,727 - And? - And, uh, I guarantee it'll win ya an Oscar. 118 00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:25,264 An Oscar, you say? That would get me out of this festering rat's nest... 119 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,668 called television once and for all. 120 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,336 Let me see the script. 121 00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:33,240 No. No, I don't like the font. Wait! 122 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:37,509 Harold Zoid? Was this written by th Harold Zoid? 123 00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:40,648 - Written and xeroxed. - Good heavens. 124 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:43,683 A chance to work with the legendary Harold Zoid. 125 00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:48,455 He's one of my great idols. And you say you can guarantee me the Oscar? 126 00:09:48,554 --> 00:09:51,759 I can guarantee ya anything you want. Then I'll do it! 127 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,161 Hooray! Here's your checkbook. 128 00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:59,667 [ Hammering ] 129 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:05,673 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you our director, the legendary Harold Zoid. 130 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,844 Thank you. A more classic movie plot there isn't. 131 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:14,981 A son who does not want to follow in his father's business, 132 00:10:15,081 --> 00:10:18,551 and that business is being president of Earth, no less. 133 00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:21,453 The son, as it happens, is vice president. 134 00:10:21,553 --> 00:10:24,356 That plot makes perfect sense, wink, wink. 135 00:10:24,456 --> 00:10:28,161 Bender, you said "wink, wink" out loud. I didn't. Raise middle finger. 136 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,730 [ Beeping ] 137 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:35,235 Now, remember-- and I can't stress this enough-- this is a talkie, 138 00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:41,073 so I want the full gamut of emotions from every actor in every scene. 139 00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:46,178 - The Magnificent Three. Scene one, take one. - And action! 140 00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:49,349 Take back your gilded pen, Father. 141 00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:53,519 Signing bills into law was always your dream, not mine. 142 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,989 Cut! Cut! Cut it! Pooey! 143 00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:59,692 I said this is a talkie, damn it! You've got to emote more! 144 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:04,163 And you extras. Wave your arms and make faces. What is this? A morgue? 145 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:08,201 The Magnificent Three. Scene 10, take 95. 146 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:11,171 Action! And I mean circus-grade action. 147 00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:16,375 Sir, I call upon you not as a president, [ Woman Squealing ] 148 00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:20,047 [ Man Grunting Like Monkey ] but as a father! [ Sobs ] 149 00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:23,515 [ Woman Warbling ] Cut! Cut! Cut it! 150 00:11:23,615 --> 00:11:25,885 Would you show a little emotion? 151 00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:29,856 People. People. Please. Just because it's a dramatic scene... 152 00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:32,893 doesn't mean you can't do a little comedy in the background. 153 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:34,927 Throw a pie or two, for God's sake. 154 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:41,268 [ All Laughing, Chattering ] 155 00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:45,773 [ Agonized Sobbing ] 156 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:56,448 Cut! Cut it! Ech! Yuck! Look. It's all right, kid. We'll get it in editing. 157 00:11:56,548 --> 00:11:58,551 All right. That's a wrap, everybody. 158 00:11:58,650 --> 00:12:01,754 I'm gonna see you all at the premiere, which, by the way, when is? 159 00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:05,091 Well, editing is a long and expensive process, 160 00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:08,995 but we spent all the money on pies, so it'll be ready Friday. 161 00:12:14,634 --> 00:12:16,668 [ Chattering ] 162 00:12:16,769 --> 00:12:20,639 Nice turnout, Calculon. That Oscar is practically on your mantle. 163 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,743 I just pray they like me half as much as I do. 164 00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,813 ** [ Fanfare ] [ Audience Applauds ] 165 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,917 [ Typewriter Keys Clicking ] 166 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:39,158 I agreed to be your vice president, but I never agreed to be your son. 167 00:12:43,529 --> 00:12:47,033 Thank you, Lieutenant Smith. Good morning, 168 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,970 Mr. Vice President. 169 00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:54,673 Leela, we're missing the premiere. 170 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,777 My only goal in life is to attend a Hollywood shindig. 171 00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:00,647 Just pay the valet the two bucks. No. 172 00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:04,650 It's the principle of the thing. Besides, I think I see a parking lot up ahead. 173 00:13:10,823 --> 00:13:13,159 [ Leela And Fry Screaming ] 174 00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:17,697 [ Thunderclap ] Father, I have asked you to join me on the White House roof... 175 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,700 so we could have a heart-to-heart talk. 176 00:13:20,799 --> 00:13:23,870 I will never follow in your footsteps. 177 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:27,307 Here is my resignation as vice president. 178 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:31,711 No! My son will not shame me like this. 179 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,647 I would sooner die, I would. 180 00:13:34,746 --> 00:13:37,549 - Father! The ledge! - Oy! 181 00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:39,852 Ohh. 182 00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:44,756 The president is dead. Congratulations, Mr. President. 183 00:13:44,857 --> 00:13:49,996 No! 184 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:56,503 [ Bender ] Whoo-hoo! Yeah! He's a visionary! 185 00:13:56,602 --> 00:14:01,875 Everyone walked out. They hated it. I've seen plagues that had better opening nights than this. 186 00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:05,044 You said that Oscar was practically on my mantle. 187 00:14:05,144 --> 00:14:08,081 Now you know why I used the qualifier "practically." 188 00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:11,850 You listen to me. I'm out a million bucks here. 189 00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:16,556 You get me that Oscar or you're dead, you and these sniveling lobsters! 190 00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:19,692 Dead! You hear me? Dead! [ Both Whimpering ] 191 00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:22,861 Oy. N he emotes! 192 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:35,075 400 categories, and not a single nomination for me. 193 00:14:35,174 --> 00:14:40,647 But you won this Golden Globe. Piffle! That's the Emmy of movie awards! 194 00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:44,650 - I told you I want an Oscar! - Then maybe you should act better. 195 00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:48,587 The Oscar isn't about acting; it's about earning the respect... 196 00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:50,990 and admiration of the creative community. 197 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,927 - How about we rig the awards? - That's fine too. 198 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,831 [ Ignition Whining ] 199 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:03,102 It's no use. The tar is too thick. Plus, I think I flooded it. 200 00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:08,075 Well, we missed the premiere, and we're gonna die. Might as well enjoy the sights. 201 00:15:08,174 --> 00:15:11,311 Oh, my God. Sylvester Stallone! 202 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:17,750 This is where you live? I thought you were a big-shot Hollywood movie star. 203 00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:21,321 No, I'm not. I am an even bigger liar than you. 204 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:25,292 My career went down the tubes the day they invented Smell-A-Vision. 205 00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,527 Calculon's gonna kill us for sure, 206 00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:29,696 and it's all everybody else's fault. 207 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:35,501 Oy. All I wanted was for people to think of me one last time before I die. 208 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:40,340 What are you talking about, Uncle? Everybody remembers Harold Zoid. 209 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:43,375 As a pathetic has-been, they remember me. 210 00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:48,148 As a forgotten relic, they remember me. Bah! It's better to die now. 211 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:52,485 No! This is one death Dr. Zoidberg won't be responsible for. 212 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,288 Zoidberg away! 213 00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:04,364 [ Cameras Shuttering ] 214 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:09,235 Hi. I'm Joan Rivers's head. I tell you, I've had so many face-lifts, 215 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:12,172 they finally lifted it right off my body. 216 00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:16,509 It's true! It's true! Oh, oh, oh. Here comes Jack Nicholson's D.N.A., 217 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,544 reconstituted in a gorilla body! 218 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,879 [ Grunting ] 219 00:16:22,548 --> 00:16:25,485 Catering. 220 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:28,054 Oh-- Ohh. 221 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:33,725 Oh, and here's washed-up actor what's-his-name, Harold Zoid. 222 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:37,429 Are you presenting one of those tacky honorary awards or just getting one? 223 00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:43,036 I'm a seat filler, Joan's head. My only marketable skill is to occupy space. 224 00:16:43,135 --> 00:16:47,340 [ Chattering ] 225 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:51,878 You know, the second I don't win that award, you're cat food. 226 00:16:51,977 --> 00:16:54,280 Right, Boxy? [ Beeping ] 227 00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:56,948 [ Whimpering ] 228 00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:59,086 ** [ Theme ] 229 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:04,090 [ Announcer ] And now, the host of the 1,074th Academy Awards, 230 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:07,193 Billy Crystal! 231 00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:11,931 - Now I know how a Pez dispenser feels. - [ Grunting ] 232 00:17:12,030 --> 00:17:15,535 You like that one, Jack? [ Grunting ] 233 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,807 All right. We're already one hour behind. [ Gorilla Grunting ] 234 00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:26,078 Our first award tonight: best cinematography in a non-visible spectrum. 235 00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,080 [ Rumbling ] 236 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:32,484 It's been two weeks. You wanna play tic-tac-toe again before we eat our shoes? 237 00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:35,822 No. I always knew I'd die at the bottom of a pit, 238 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:39,159 but a pit full of tar? [ Crashing ] 239 00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:43,130 What was that? A tar dolphin or a tar shark? 240 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:46,932 It's some kind of hollow tube devoid of human life. 241 00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:51,304 [ Gasps ] The Los Angeles subway! We can blast our way in and escape! 242 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:54,574 All right, but I still feel like having a shoe. 243 00:17:56,643 --> 00:18:00,512 - ** [ Theme ] - What category are they on? 244 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:04,451 They're giving out the minor technical awards. I think they're up to writing. 245 00:18:04,550 --> 00:18:07,987 That just leaves best soft drink product placement and then best actor. 246 00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:12,858 - We don't have much time. - And the nominees for best soft drink product placement are-- 247 00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:15,761 [ Soda Machine ] Star Trek: The Pepsi Generation. 248 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:18,131 They Call Me Mr. Pibb. 249 00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:20,366 And Snow White and the 7 UPs. 250 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:22,501 [ Audience Applauds ] 251 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:27,839 And now, to present the award for best actor, a bit player... 252 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:32,545 in the flop movie, The Magnificent Three, Dr. Zoidberg! 253 00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:34,646 [ Audience Cheers ] 254 00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:40,051 - [ Cheers Increase ] - Okay, Boxy. Keep your prong on the trigger. 255 00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:44,156 - [ Zoid Gulps ] - And the nominees for best actor are-- 256 00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:48,327 Sir Laurence-- [ Screeches ] in The Merchant of Venus. 257 00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:52,664 Hive Mind Gamma 7-X in Bikini Party Summer. 258 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:56,336 The Soda Machine Robot in Bikini Party Summer. 259 00:18:56,435 --> 00:19:00,071 Mark Jones in How Beige Was My Jacket. 260 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:02,541 And, instead of the fifth guy-- 261 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:07,012 Calculon, for his powerhouse performance in The Magnificent Three. 262 00:19:07,113 --> 00:19:09,249 [ Audience Murmuring ] 263 00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:13,420 Uh-oh. He read the wrong name. Shh. Just play along like they did for Marisa Tomei. 264 00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:17,890 Hooray! I won't be murdered! I'll live another day, 265 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:23,162 another day of pathetic, forgotten misery. 266 00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,436 And the winner is-- 267 00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:38,911 And the winner-- instead of any of the nominees-- 268 00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:42,181 is the legendary Harold Zoid! 269 00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:44,683 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 270 00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:47,453 [ All ] What? Huh? 271 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:57,596 Thank you. Thank you so much. You know, through all my ups and downs, 272 00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:02,402 I always thought the most important thing in life was to win an Oscar, 273 00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:07,473 but tonight I realize what's really important is to win two Oscars! 274 00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:11,210 Ha! Ha! I'm kidding. I'm kidding. 275 00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:15,114 What really matters in life is that people care about you, 276 00:20:15,213 --> 00:20:18,116 - whether it's a whole crowd, - [ Man Snoring ] 277 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:22,054 or just one diehard fan. 278 00:20:22,153 --> 00:20:24,290 [ All ] Aww. 279 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:27,394 [ Grunting ] 280 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:37,436 Thank you, nephew. Now I can die happy, 281 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:40,673 10 seconds from now, when Calculon kills us. 282 00:20:43,476 --> 00:20:46,244 - [ Calculon ] Harold Zoid! - [ Bender ] Hit the deck! 283 00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:50,750 - Where's that Oscar? - Here. Enjoy. What are you getting upset? 284 00:20:50,849 --> 00:20:53,420 It's slightly less fraudulent for you to have it. 285 00:20:53,519 --> 00:20:57,624 Yes. Yes, it's a real beauty. 286 00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:00,259 Someday I hope to win one of my own. 287 00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,962 Then you're not gonna kill us, Your Majesty? 288 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:09,602 Nay. I respect and admire Harold Zoid too much to beat him to death with his own Oscar. 289 00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:12,003 [ All Cheering ] [ Rumbling ] 290 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:15,106 Earthquake! Hit the deck! 291 00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:20,680 Let the earth quake! I've got somebody's Oscar! 292 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,156 We made it! I'm at a Hollywood party. 293 00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:34,394 I'm sorry, sir. This is a private-- Oh, pardon me. 294 00:21:34,493 --> 00:21:37,364 I see you're with Mr. Stallone.