1 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,440 [ Man ] One, two. One, two, three! 2 00:00:31,964 --> 00:00:34,468 So I gave the cookies you made to Fawn and the kids, 3 00:00:34,567 --> 00:00:36,704 and they couldn't believe it! 4 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,972 They were delicious! But I digress. 5 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:44,378 Tremble, puny earthlings! One day my race will destroy you all. 6 00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:47,280 [ Doorbell Ringing, Footsteps Departing ] 7 00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,417 Could one of you guys get that? 8 00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:56,323 [ Baby Cooing ] [ Gasping ] 9 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,625 It's a doorbell baby! 10 00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:02,630 Hello, little guy. You know, I was abandoned as a baby too. 11 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,132 So-- Garbage, huh? I'll take care of it. 12 00:01:05,233 --> 00:01:07,168 [ Blow Landing, Bender Grunting ] Bender, stop! 13 00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,337 - It's a baby! - A baby what? Ow! 14 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:16,075 Oh, it's just a card! From the orphanarium I grew up in. 15 00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:20,581 [ Recorded Baby Voice ] Oh! Leela, you're invited to a reunion... 16 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:24,418 at Cookieville Minimum-Security Orphanarium. 17 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:27,019 [ Woman's Recorded Voice ] Please stand clear of self-destructing basket. 18 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:31,658 - [ Leela Whimpering ] - A reunion at your old orphanarium, eh? 19 00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,495 You gonna go? No way, Josébot. 20 00:01:34,594 --> 00:01:36,764 I never want to see those other orphans again. 21 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:39,599 Not after the way they used to pick on me. 22 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,436 [ Children Chanting ] One Eye, One Eye, One Eye! 23 00:01:42,536 --> 00:01:44,938 Nice depth perception, One Eye! 24 00:01:45,037 --> 00:01:46,973 [ Laughing ] 25 00:01:47,073 --> 00:01:49,777 How can you make fun of me, Kirk? You're blind! 26 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:53,013 My eyes may not work, but at least I got two of them. 27 00:01:53,112 --> 00:01:55,848 [ Laughing ] 28 00:01:55,948 --> 00:01:58,152 [ Sighs ] Oh. 29 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,022 Aw, that's terrible, Leela. 30 00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:04,825 But imagine the look on their faces when you show up with two friends... 31 00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:07,227 who eat all the hors d'oeuvres. Well. 32 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:10,330 I wouldn't mind rubbing my success in a few choice faces. 33 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,400 Set a course for adventure! 34 00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:16,036 [ Banging, Whirring ] 35 00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:18,671 [ Hooting ] 36 00:02:18,771 --> 00:02:20,674 Ew! [ Bender ] What a dump! 37 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:24,044 [ Sighing ] Oh! Just like old times. 38 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:28,581 Gosh. The bars on the windows seemed so much thicker back then. 39 00:02:30,016 --> 00:02:32,019 [ Clears Throat ] Mr. Vogel? 40 00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:34,222 - Remember me? - Leela! 41 00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:36,223 You're worthless, and no one will ever love you! 42 00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:40,427 [ Laughing ] You used to say that all the time. 43 00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:42,663 Ah! Those were happier days. 44 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,997 ** [ Band ] 45 00:02:49,736 --> 00:02:53,841 Mm. The "gristle in a blanket" isn't half-bad. [ Swallowing ] 46 00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:57,411 And try one of these popsicle sticks. They've absorbed quite a bit of flavor. 47 00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:00,681 Hey, look. It's our old group picture. 48 00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:04,084 I don't see you anywhere. 49 00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,387 That's me, over in "Cootie-town." 50 00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:09,188 Whoo! Get a load of this average-looking guy. 51 00:03:09,289 --> 00:03:12,592 That's Adlai Atkins. I used to have kind of a crush on him. 52 00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:15,728 [ Children ] One Eye, One Eye! 53 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:21,634 Stupid as a French guy! One Eye, One Eye, One Eye, One Eye-- 54 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:25,473 [ All Continue Chanting ] 55 00:03:25,573 --> 00:03:27,807 [ Sighs Deeply ] 56 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,479 Well, it's time to say hello to the old gang. 57 00:03:32,579 --> 00:03:36,650 [ Gulping ] 58 00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,824 So? What you been up to since you left the orphanarium? 59 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:47,295 Oh, livin' in a box, fightin' the shakes. You? 60 00:03:47,395 --> 00:03:50,062 Sellin' kidneys, teeth. Whatever falls out of me. 61 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:54,468 And what am I up to, you ask? Why, I'm a very successful space captain. 62 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,469 Oh! Wow! 63 00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:59,105 How nice for you, Leela. That's so good... 64 00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:01,140 for a person with one eye. 65 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:04,412 Hey! You can't feel sorry for me. 66 00:04:04,512 --> 00:04:07,480 I'm a space captain, and you're a bunch of losers. 67 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:12,118 Uh, right. Right. We're the losers. [ Coughs ] 68 00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:16,790 Well, if it isn't old One Eye. [ Laughing ] 69 00:04:16,889 --> 00:04:20,293 Oh, yeah? Well, shut up, Cane Boy! 70 00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:22,329 He can't hear ya. He's deaf now. 71 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:25,533 Leave Leela alone. She's leading a perfectly normal life. 72 00:04:25,632 --> 00:04:29,269 She's not gussied up, duded out, getting down, or where it's at. 73 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,838 Now, run along. 74 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:37,511 Thanks, Adlai. I guess you never really outgrow being an eyeball-- 75 00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:41,213 - Oddball. - Nonsense, you're a space captain. 76 00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:44,050 - That's a fine, conventional profession. - Well, you know. 77 00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,620 It's just for a package delivery service. 78 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:50,156 Ah-ah! A package is just a box until it's delivered. 79 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,560 Huh! I'd never thought of it that way. 80 00:04:52,659 --> 00:04:54,627 So what do you do these days? 81 00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:58,331 - Oh, I'm a doctor. - A tall doctor, you say. 82 00:04:58,432 --> 00:05:01,134 [ Gulping ] 83 00:05:02,502 --> 00:05:05,072 [ Laughing ] 84 00:05:05,172 --> 00:05:07,074 Sir? You seem pretty stable. 85 00:05:07,173 --> 00:05:09,742 Have you thought about adopting one of our kids? Sure haven't. 86 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:13,413 Well, keep adoption in mind. It's a great way to have a kid without having sex. 87 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,415 Really? 88 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:19,353 Plus, the government will help out with a small stipend of $100 a week! 89 00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:22,689 A hundred dollars a week! [ Gulping, Spitting ] 90 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,326 I'm so sorry I teased you back then. 91 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:30,831 Let me make it up to you. I can fix it so no one ever makes fun of you again. 92 00:05:30,930 --> 00:05:32,832 You mean, by beating them up? 93 00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:36,504 Because I've broken that blind kid's nose, like, ten times, and it doesn't make any difference. 94 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:39,606 No, I specialize in phaser eye surgery. 95 00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:43,511 I can build you a paraffin eye and graft it on with skin from your foot. 96 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:46,879 It won't be able to see, but you'll look like a perfectly normal... 97 00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,216 two-eyed person. 98 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:52,620 Me? Perfectly normal? 99 00:05:55,187 --> 00:05:57,625 Hmm. 100 00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:00,226 Hmm! [ Children Cheering ] 101 00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:02,529 Sons, daughters, meet Uncle Fry. 102 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:05,632 Hey, why are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to your ass? 103 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:08,468 No, it's called "parenting." 104 00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:12,540 Come on, dumplings. We've got 12 government stipends to collect! 105 00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:15,408 Yea! Our daddy's a giant toy! 106 00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:19,646 Phaser eye surgery is a capital idea. 107 00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:24,216 I'm sure Leela's tired of morons gaping at her eye all the time. 108 00:06:25,317 --> 00:06:27,254 Oh-h-h! 109 00:06:27,353 --> 00:06:29,790 I think cosmetic surgery's great, Leela. 110 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:33,259 I used to be too cute, so I had cuteness reduction surgery. 111 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,463 Here and here. 112 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,566 You guys are crazy. Leela doesn't need surgery. 113 00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:42,836 You look great the way you are. Oh, that's so sweet, Fry. 114 00:06:42,935 --> 00:06:45,404 But for once in my life, I just want to look normal. 115 00:06:45,505 --> 00:06:48,108 But you're better than normal. You're abnormal. 116 00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:50,444 If you ask me, you shouldn't care what other people think. 117 00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:53,613 You're right! I'll start by not caring what you think. 118 00:06:53,713 --> 00:06:55,615 I'm getting the surgery! 119 00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,685 That-a-girl! Right on! Good call. 120 00:06:57,784 --> 00:07:00,319 Wonderful. And while you're under the knife, 121 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,322 you could also get an ink pouch to help you escape your enemies. 122 00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,660 That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, you imbecile! 123 00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,798 Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-- 124 00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:17,771 Now, we'll find out if the operation was a success! 125 00:07:17,870 --> 00:07:20,507 Hold onto your hats. 126 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,519 - [ Shocked Gasping ] - Oh! I'm sorry. 127 00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:34,687 This is the wrong patient. 128 00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,036 [ Gasping ] 129 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,177 Whoops! 130 00:07:57,276 --> 00:07:59,211 [ Squeaking ] 131 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,853 Leela, those eyes look so great on you. 132 00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,922 Bah! I think she looked fine before. 133 00:08:09,021 --> 00:08:10,824 [ All Disagreeing ] 134 00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:13,593 Wow! Look at me! 135 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,062 Although I don't have the hang of blinking yet. 136 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:20,167 You'll get it. Personally, I try not to blink too much, because it seems flashy. 137 00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:22,569 But when I do, I enjoy it. 138 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:25,906 [ Gasping ] Oh! I did it! I blunk! 139 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,841 And just in time to screw up this picture I took. 140 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:33,446 - Hooray! - ** [ "Pretty Woman" ] 141 00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:47,527 * Pretty woman Walkin' down the street * 142 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:50,597 - * Pretty woman - [ All ] Ow! Ow! Ow! 143 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:54,567 * The kind I like to meet Pretty woman * 144 00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:58,238 * I don't believe you You're not the truth * 145 00:08:58,337 --> 00:09:02,142 * No one could look as good as you * 146 00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:06,980 * Mercy 147 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,150 * Oh, oh Oh! 148 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:15,221 - * Pretty woman - I've never felt so unremarkable! 149 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:19,426 Today, I actually blended in with a crowd! [ Laughs ] 150 00:09:21,961 --> 00:09:24,397 [ Giggling, Chattering ] 151 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:27,835 Kids, meet the jerkbags I work with. 152 00:09:27,934 --> 00:09:29,836 [ Together ] Hello, jerkbags! 153 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:33,005 Oh! They're so cute! What are their names? 154 00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:37,309 - Kids have names? - My name is Nina, and his name's Albert-- 155 00:09:37,409 --> 00:09:39,647 And from now on, you're all named Bender Junior! 156 00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:43,650 Looky here. My first government stipend check. 157 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:47,153 Twelve baby humans, 1,200 wing-wangs. 158 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,692 Daddy Bender, we're hungry! 159 00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:56,163 What is it with you kids? Every other day, it's food, food, food! 160 00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:01,500 Oh, fine. I'll get you some stupid food. 161 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,370 Could we have Bender Burgers again? 162 00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,471 No! The cat shelter's on to me. 163 00:10:09,341 --> 00:10:13,947 Hello, Leela. I was at a nearby tailor, getting one of my Hawaiian shirts toned down, 164 00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:16,115 so I thought I'd drop in for your follow-up exam. 165 00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:18,518 [ Chuckling ] Oh! That's so handsome of you. 166 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,821 Just follow the light with your eyes. 167 00:10:23,355 --> 00:10:27,326 Perfect! You know, a guy could fall head over heels for a gal like you. 168 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,562 As for me, I'm somewhat interested myself. 169 00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:32,532 - What are you saying? - I've never been good with words-- 170 00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:35,501 which is why I'm in such a delicate conundrum. 171 00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:37,570 - Will you go out with me this Sunday? - Sure! 172 00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:41,240 - [ Gasps ] - I don't know what else to say, so I'll just say it. 173 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:44,476 Okeydokey, see you then. 174 00:10:44,576 --> 00:10:47,980 This is so unfair. I liked you back when you were a cyclops. 175 00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,250 That guy's only interested now that you have two eyes. 176 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,985 - You're just jealous. - No, I'm not! 177 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:56,023 Oh, wait! I am! But my point remains valid. 178 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:59,091 Fry, I just want to try dating a normal man, 179 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:02,062 who, if you go somewhere with him, no one says he's crummy. 180 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,831 I think I deserve that once in life. 181 00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:08,836 Be careful with that Adlai, Leela. He's a doctor. They're very poor. 182 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:11,370 Actually, most doctors are rich. What? 183 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:15,207 When did this happen? You're joking, right? That's not funny! 184 00:11:17,443 --> 00:11:20,047 Okay, they got everything you need here. 185 00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,048 Booze, a couple of peanuts-- 186 00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:25,518 They got a crapper in the back. That's one of the things you kids do, right? 187 00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,519 Yeah! Then knock yourself out. 188 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,355 [ Screaming, Laughing ] 189 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:33,625 Hey! Hey! Only eat and drink enough to barely keep yourselves alive. 190 00:11:33,726 --> 00:11:36,263 I'm tryin' to make a profit here. 191 00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:42,802 Daddy, Bethany's hitting me! 192 00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:46,874 Here. [ Laughing ] 193 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:49,076 These kids yours? Yeah. 194 00:11:49,176 --> 00:11:52,611 Ooh. I'm attracted to a man with responsibility. 195 00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:55,783 That's me, baby. Let me just ditch the kids in an alley, 196 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,585 and we can go have some fun. [ Knocking ] 197 00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:00,653 Daddy Bender? Son? 198 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:03,890 Daddy's tryin' to score with a cheap floozy right now. 199 00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:06,658 So he needs you to cram a Tinkertoy in it. 200 00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:09,395 I love you, Daddy Bender. 201 00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:11,498 [ Laughing ] Hey! What the hell are you doin'? 202 00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:14,134 Quit huggin' me. I guess you're busy. 203 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:18,071 - I'll catch you later. - You morons! I don't know what you're tryin' to pull, 204 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:22,174 but I got half a mind to hug each and every one of you and see how you like it! 205 00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:27,080 [ All ] Yea! Aw, come on! [ Growling ] 206 00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:32,019 I thought I'd take you someplace ordinary. 207 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:35,322 A place no one could object to. That sounds wonderful. 208 00:12:42,328 --> 00:12:45,764 I'd like an extra-beautiful bouquet, for my extra-gorgeous sweetheart. 209 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,770 Average, please. 210 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:57,043 Oh, Adlai. I've had a wonderful time today. 211 00:12:57,144 --> 00:13:00,179 No one's stared at me, or avoided staring at me, 212 00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,182 or tried to burn me-- 213 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:04,817 You make me feel so not weird. 214 00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:09,990 Leela, you're 999,999 in a million. 215 00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:23,336 [ Engine Whining, Brakes Screeching ] 216 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,672 Thanks for comin' out to get to know my boyfriend. 217 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:31,010 - Isn't he dreamy? - Totally. [ Munching Loudly ] 218 00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:36,216 Uh, listen. I just want you all to know, your Leela's one standard lady. 219 00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,551 Oh, Adlai! Stop. 220 00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:41,187 What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? 221 00:13:41,288 --> 00:13:44,224 The rest of us aren't normal, and that's what makes us great. 222 00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:48,061 Like Dr. Zoidberg. He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage, 223 00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,029 and does. Damn right! 224 00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:53,100 And the professor's a senile, amoral crackpot. 225 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:56,836 Oh, ay, eeh, ay. Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant. 226 00:13:56,937 --> 00:14:00,106 Tally me banana! Amy's a klutz from Mars. 227 00:14:00,206 --> 00:14:03,676 - Oops! - And Fry, you've got that brain thing! 228 00:14:03,775 --> 00:14:07,179 I already did. So, Leela, do you want to be like us? 229 00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:12,251 Or do you want to be like Adlai, with no severe mental or social problems whatsoever? 230 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:15,522 That's the dumbest question I ever heard. 231 00:14:15,621 --> 00:14:17,957 - She's right! - No doubt about it! - Daylight come. 232 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:21,260 Comin' through. Watch your head. 233 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:24,797 - Help! I'm under attack! - [ Disgusted Shouts ] 234 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:29,701 Remember your manners, kids. Forks go in the left pocket, spoons in the right. 235 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:34,106 Which one of you cutie muffins gets the children's spicy squab? 236 00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:36,209 Me! Ap-dap-dap-dap! 237 00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,644 What do we say when someone gives you something? 238 00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:41,313 'Bout time! That's my boy! 239 00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:44,484 And here's your check. Bam! 240 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:47,486 [ Shocked Gasp ] I gotta go poopy. 241 00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:50,389 Well, you shoulda gone poopy before it was time to rat out on the check! 242 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,392 Come on! Go! Go! Through the kitchen! 243 00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:55,327 You little crooks! If I catch you, 244 00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:57,830 I'm gonna make cutie muffin gumbo! 245 00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:00,067 [ Bender Laughing Wickedly ] You know, 246 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:02,802 seeing that strange robot force 12 children to do his bidding... 247 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,836 makes me think about kids of our own. 248 00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:08,441 Us? Me? You? Kids? 249 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:12,078 That's correct. It's time to stop living this vida bachelor loca. 250 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,981 - Settle down and have kids. - Oh, Adlai. 251 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,184 This is the most beautiful moment of my life. 252 00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:20,352 [ Zoidberg ] Woo-woo-woo- woo-woo-woo! 253 00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:26,625 [ All Screaming ] 254 00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:30,429 Daddy Bender, I want a piggyback ride! 255 00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:33,633 Daddy's tired. Let's just have another dog pile on Fry. 256 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:38,270 [ Fry Groaning, Children Laughing ] 257 00:15:38,370 --> 00:15:40,974 Tell us a story, Daddy Bender! 258 00:15:41,073 --> 00:15:43,842 [ All Children ] Story, story, story! 259 00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:47,313 All right, fine. Gather around. [ All ] Yea! 260 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,817 We wanna hear this one again. 261 00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:55,154 [ Clearing Throat ] "Bender's Arrest Record. 262 00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,190 "By the Police. 263 00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:59,558 "On March 3, at 2:00 p.m., 264 00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:01,660 Bender was caught shoplifting." 265 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:04,663 Yeah. Show us the picture. 266 00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:07,500 [ Hysterical Laughing ] [ Boy ] Oh, there he is. 267 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,503 Okay, kids. It's 9:00, and you know what that means. 268 00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:13,206 Daddy's sick o' lookin' at ya. So go to bed. 269 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,174 [ All ] Aww! 270 00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:17,677 The grown-ups have to talk. Come on, Ma. 271 00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,514 [ Light Switch Clicks ] 272 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:26,552 Now, to figure out how much money I'm rakin' in off those twerps. [ Chuckles ] 273 00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:31,691 [ Muttering ] 274 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:34,094 Ow! I need a calculator. 275 00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:37,764 You a a calculator. I mean, a good calculator. 276 00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:40,832 Minus the food, the bunny rabbit wallpaper-- 277 00:16:40,932 --> 00:16:43,370 [ Shocked Gasp ] I'm gettin' a hundred bucks a kid, 278 00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:47,506 - and they're costin' me 110! - Ugh. There goes my new kitchen cabinets. 279 00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:50,110 I'm not sittin' through one more P.T.A. meeting! 280 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,445 The kids have got to go. 281 00:16:52,544 --> 00:16:54,681 Daddy? How do I flush you? 282 00:16:54,780 --> 00:16:56,849 [ Stammering ] Just go to bed! 283 00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:03,090 [ Flushing Sound ] 284 00:17:09,528 --> 00:17:13,400 You know, doing this jigsaw puzzle of a pacifier factory... 285 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,968 makes me want to have children with you all the more. 286 00:17:16,068 --> 00:17:17,936 Adlai, I was thinking. 287 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,374 Since we're both orphans, maybe we should adopt a child. 288 00:17:21,473 --> 00:17:24,277 Adoption? Yes, that's acceptable. 289 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:28,615 Heck, it's more than acceptable, it's adequately satisfactory. 290 00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:35,988 Hello? Imperial Dragon Restaurant? 291 00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:38,657 I've got a herd of you-know-whats for sale. 292 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,826 Let me check. 293 00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:43,829 Oh, aren't you a cutie? 294 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,932 About 35 pounds. 295 00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:48,134 [ Tapping Metal ] What? 296 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:52,471 - [ Yells Gibberish ] - Hi, Bender. We'd like to adopt a child. 297 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,641 Well, you've come to the right place. 298 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:58,611 Because Honest Bender's Orphanarium means discount orphans. 299 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:02,914 Now, little lady, what do I have to do to send you home with 12 orphans today? 300 00:18:03,015 --> 00:18:05,785 Uh, I'm afraid we only want one. Whatever you say, chief. 301 00:18:05,884 --> 00:18:07,787 I'll show you what I got in stock. 302 00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:10,088 I remember this from when we were kids. 303 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:12,825 The warden would trot you out in front of prospective parents, 304 00:18:12,924 --> 00:18:14,826 and they'd judge you like a piece of meat. 305 00:18:14,926 --> 00:18:17,497 - I'm Albert. - Kind of fatty. 306 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,166 Then how 'bout this little number? Purebred human. 307 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:24,971 - No vampire in there. - Uh-- Mm-- - Hmm. Well, uh-- 308 00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:28,807 If you're strapped for cash, you might want to consider this irregular unit. 309 00:18:28,907 --> 00:18:32,179 Cursed with a third ear, but so full of that emotion... 310 00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,846 I understand is called "love." 311 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:38,116 One time, I did a hundred jump ropes. 312 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:41,887 Oh! I can't decide! We're gonna have to think about it. 313 00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:44,824 Okay, kids. Grown-ups gotta talk now. Time for bed. 314 00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:48,394 - But it's 10:00 in the morning! - I said, hit the hay! 315 00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:51,330 [ Screaming, Laughing ] 316 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:56,536 [ Clicks ] [ Leela ] Oh, they're all so adorable! 317 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:58,837 Yeah. You know, 318 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:02,509 it's times like this, I can hardly bear to let them go. 319 00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:05,377 Good night, you princes of Maine! 320 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,846 You kings of New New England! 321 00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:09,981 You're under arrest for child cruelty, 322 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:12,519 child endangerment, depriving children of food, 323 00:19:12,618 --> 00:19:15,755 selling children as food and misrepresenting the weight of livestock. 324 00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:19,526 - [ Electrical Buzzing ] - If you had kids of your own, you'd understand! 325 00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,161 [ Buzzer Sounding ] 326 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:25,397 Officer, would it be all right if we adopted one of the kids? 327 00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,000 Might as well. They're just gonna rot in the evidence locker. 328 00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:33,005 Nice ear! Ha, ha, ha! 329 00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:36,008 - Hey, Three Ears! - [ All Taunting ] 330 00:19:36,107 --> 00:19:38,911 I've made up my mind. Let's adopt her. 331 00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:41,280 Her? But there's plenty of normal ones. 332 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,517 Come on, Adlai. She could really use a mom and dad. 333 00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:49,288 [ Children ] Ear Face! Ear Face! Sally won the ugly race! 334 00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,758 On the other hand, the children bring up a good point. 335 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,861 She does have an ear on her face. Well? So what? 336 00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:58,130 She may be different, but she still deserves a good home. 337 00:19:58,230 --> 00:20:01,067 Oh, all right. If you really want that one, 338 00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:03,068 I can give her an operation to make her acceptable. 339 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:07,073 She doesn't need an operation! She's fine the way she is. 340 00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:09,476 Oh, and I suppose you were fine the way you were? 341 00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:11,978 - Damn right I was! - Yea! 342 00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:14,547 Shut up, Fry. Now, look, Adlai. 343 00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:19,151 I'm proud to be different. And I just wish I'd realized that when I was her age. 344 00:20:19,251 --> 00:20:21,488 I also have a tail! 345 00:20:21,587 --> 00:20:25,325 Now, take me to the hospital and put my eye back the way it was. Right now! 346 00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,826 Why should I do that? Listen, buddy. 347 00:20:27,926 --> 00:20:31,230 By the end of the day, one of us is gonna have one eye! 348 00:20:33,164 --> 00:20:35,934 In recognition of Bender's generous gift... 349 00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:40,006 of 12 orphans and a government check for 1,200 wing-wangs, 350 00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:43,075 I hereby rename this building... 351 00:20:43,174 --> 00:20:46,313 the Bender B. Rodriguez Orphanarium. 352 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,586 It's good to have the old, weird-looking Leela back. 353 00:20:53,685 --> 00:20:56,188 Aw, you're a true friend, Fry. 354 00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:58,857 I guess there's nothing wrong with being a little weird. 355 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:02,295 Leela, there's nothing wrong with anything. 356 00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:07,299 We'll miss you, Daddy Bender. We know robots don't have emotions, but... 357 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,602 we drawed you this picture. 358 00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:13,472 So if you ever miss us, even just a teeny bit, 359 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:18,345 you can look at it. Hey, I smoke a cigar, not a candy cane. Sheesh! 360 00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:24,282 [ Disappointed Groaning ] 361 00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:39,665 [ Sighs ] 362 00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:41,667 [ Children ] Yea! Hey, what the-- Whoa! 363 00:21:41,768 --> 00:21:43,702 Get away! Come on. 364 00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:46,005 I just got all the gum off of there. 365 00:21:46,105 --> 00:21:49,642 Hey! Hey! [ Stammering ] I hate you! 366 00:21:49,741 --> 00:21:51,844 I hate you all!