1 00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:35,948 BENDER: Ah, beer. 2 00:00:36,079 --> 00:00:37,124 So many choices 3 00:00:37,253 --> 00:00:39,256 and it makes so little difference. 4 00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:40,256 FRY: How about Lobrau? 5 00:00:40,387 --> 00:00:41,997 It has dots on it. 6 00:00:42,128 --> 00:00:45,262 Overruled! The choice of champions is 7 00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,264 Pabst Blue Robot.I can't drink that. 8 00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,527 The metal shavings make my throat bloody. 9 00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:53,140 Waah, waah, baby wants his Zima. 10 00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:56,143 Hey, hey, hey, we can all fight when we're drunk. 11 00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:58,274 Now, listen, why don't we just brew our own beer? 12 00:00:58,405 --> 00:01:00,277 You can brew your own beer? 13 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:03,366 Sure, the kids at the Orphanarium used to do it all the time. 14 00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,760 [ heavenly chord plays] 15 00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:07,067 [ crashing] 16 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,808 Cursed bacteria of Liberia! 17 00:01:10,939 --> 00:01:13,724 My own son, suspended from boarding school. 18 00:01:13,855 --> 00:01:14,944 It's not my fault, Dad. 19 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,293 PROFESSOR: And you, Cubert! 20 00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:18,251 I cloned you from one of my warts 21 00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,602 and I can send you straight back in there! 22 00:01:20,731 --> 00:01:21,558 Nuh-uh! 23 00:01:21,689 --> 00:01:22,951 What's going on? 24 00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:24,170 Is this angry yelling 25 00:01:24,301 --> 00:01:25,563 or busted hearing aid yelling? 26 00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,739 I'm afraid it's both.What?! 27 00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:30,176 Now, hold on. Everyone cool your daiquiris. 28 00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:33,222 Let's give the little vermin a chance to explain themselves. 29 00:01:33,353 --> 00:01:35,182 It was self-defense, Mom. 30 00:01:35,311 --> 00:01:37,793 Just look at this letter the principal sent. 31 00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:41,317 We were in science class 32 00:01:41,448 --> 00:01:43,277 and we had just finished building 33 00:01:43,406 --> 00:01:44,408 a miniature black hole. 34 00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,280 That was easy. 35 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:47,802 Pretty scrawny black hole. 36 00:01:47,932 --> 00:01:49,370 It must be hungry. 37 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:50,587 [ scoffs] 38 00:01:50,718 --> 00:01:52,198 Black holes don't need food. 39 00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,026 Neither do nerds! 40 00:01:57,813 --> 00:01:59,293 My Manwich! 41 00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:01,251 [ laughing] 42 00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:03,819 That's it, Brett-- you've compressed our lunches 43 00:02:03,948 --> 00:02:05,820 to a singularity for the last time! 44 00:02:05,950 --> 00:02:08,039 Salt him, Dwight! 45 00:02:08,170 --> 00:02:11,391 [ groaning] 46 00:02:11,521 --> 00:02:15,352 When I re-solidify, I'm going to put you in a world of goop. 47 00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:16,831 [ both whimpering] 48 00:02:16,961 --> 00:02:18,615 See? That bully started it. 49 00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:22,054 We couldn't fight back with brawn, so we used our brains. 50 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,448 I warned you not to use those things! 51 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:29,800 Let's see, we've got our malt, our hops... 52 00:02:29,931 --> 00:02:32,716 We just need a big, disposable tub to mix it in. 53 00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:33,456 Yo. 54 00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:41,247 Now it needs to boil for a couple hours. 55 00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:45,121 [ whistling a tune] 56 00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:47,341 [ video game beeping] 57 00:02:47,471 --> 00:02:49,168 Dwight, you remember the crew. [ grunts] 58 00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:50,387 Crew, you remember Cubert? 59 00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:51,692 [ all grunt] 60 00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:54,348 Wonderful! Then I'm sure you won't mind 61 00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:57,176 being their legal guardians for a month. 62 00:02:59,134 --> 00:03:00,396 Well, well 63 00:03:00,527 --> 00:03:02,181 if it isn't my old friends 64 00:03:02,312 --> 00:03:03,835 Stretch-Pants... 65 00:03:03,966 --> 00:03:05,836 No-Pants and... 66 00:03:05,967 --> 00:03:07,056 Idiot. 67 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,318 We're making beer; I'm the brewery. 68 00:03:09,449 --> 00:03:11,277 I heard alcohol makes you stupid. 69 00:03:11,407 --> 00:03:12,843 No, I'm... doesn't. 70 00:03:12,974 --> 00:03:15,324 Actually, Dwight, you're right-- 71 00:03:15,455 --> 00:03:17,848 alcohol is very, very bad. 72 00:03:17,979 --> 00:03:19,199 For children. 73 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:22,419 But once you turn 21, it becomes very, very good. 74 00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:23,550 So scram! 75 00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:25,552 Oh, man, I'm sick of this.[ grumbling] 76 00:03:25,682 --> 00:03:26,989 [ electronic beeping] 77 00:03:27,118 --> 00:03:28,337 Hey, Dad. 78 00:03:28,468 --> 00:03:31,167 What useless contraption are you half-baking today? 79 00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,429 Whuh? 80 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,997 Oh, this is my latest invention-- 81 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:39,218 a device that lets anyone sound exactly like me. 82 00:03:39,348 --> 00:03:42,222 [ Professor's voice]: Good news, everyone-- I'm a horse's butt. 83 00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:45,268 I am? That's not good news at all, you little... 84 00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,530 [ whimpers like Professor] 85 00:03:46,661 --> 00:03:48,401 What's this device's marketability? 86 00:03:48,531 --> 00:03:49,706 Who's the target consumer? 87 00:03:49,837 --> 00:03:53,319 There is no target consumer-- only targets. 88 00:03:53,449 --> 00:03:55,670 Targets that will tremble in fear 89 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,150 as their new masters hand down edicts 90 00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:00,456 in my glorious booming voice! 91 00:04:00,587 --> 00:04:04,679 [ own exaggerated voice]: Now, quit pestering me, you confounded scoundrels! 92 00:04:04,808 --> 00:04:07,508 [ to "Get Up, Stand Up"]: ♪ Stamp it, file it, oh, yeah 93 00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:09,378 ♪ Send it overnight... 94 00:04:09,509 --> 00:04:11,120 Can I collate that? 95 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,209 No.Can I shred these contracts? 96 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,037 No! 97 00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:17,692 Wow! A power stamper! 98 00:04:17,822 --> 00:04:20,346 [ all yelling] 99 00:04:22,348 --> 00:04:24,437 Now look at all the work I got to do! 100 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:27,483 Ow! 101 00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:30,747 [ both laughing] 102 00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:33,360 [ loud belch] 103 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,841 Mm. The ingredients are cooked 104 00:04:36,971 --> 00:04:39,713 and they've picked up some of your natural robot flavorings. 105 00:04:39,843 --> 00:04:41,411 Time to add the yeast. 106 00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:46,415 Yeast? You mean... I'll have a life-form growing inside me? 107 00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,766 [ voice breaking]: It's so beautiful. 108 00:04:48,896 --> 00:04:50,201 [ blows nose] 109 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,334 [ phone ringing] 110 00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:53,771 Talk to me. 111 00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:55,598 This is Professor Farnsworth. 112 00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:59,386 I have an important delivery for you and your dumb crew. 113 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:02,345 You must deliver a pizza to Dogdoo Eight 114 00:05:02,475 --> 00:05:05,435 a planet at the edge of the universe. 115 00:05:05,565 --> 00:05:08,350 [ Professor's voice]: Sorry I can't come down to say good-bye 116 00:05:08,481 --> 00:05:10,439 but I'm busy inventing useless junk. 117 00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:12,355 And I smell bad. 118 00:05:12,485 --> 00:05:13,574 [ both giggling] 119 00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,226 [ giggling continues] 120 00:05:26,194 --> 00:05:27,456 [ video game beeping] 121 00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:31,418 Hey! 122 00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:32,636 [ groans] 123 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:35,769 If you were my kids, you'd get quite a talking to. 124 00:05:35,899 --> 00:05:37,119 From your father. 125 00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,338 When he got home from the senate. 126 00:05:39,468 --> 00:05:41,384 Oh, bother! What have they done now? 127 00:05:41,514 --> 00:05:44,865 Those pork dumplings sent us on a fake pizza delivery! 128 00:05:44,995 --> 00:05:46,432 The address was on Dogdoo Eight 129 00:05:46,562 --> 00:05:49,130 but the universe ends right after Dogdoo Seven. 130 00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:50,827 Child-mon, is this true? 131 00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,874 Yeah, but why are you mad at us? 132 00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:56,572 Your dummy brigade wasted a week on an obviously fake mission. 133 00:05:56,704 --> 00:06:00,141 Plus, they're making bootleg beer inside company property. 134 00:06:00,315 --> 00:06:02,362 Lies! Lies and slander! 135 00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:03,711 [ loud belch] 136 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,495 Accusing gentle Bender of a misdeed? 137 00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,367 That's the last straw! 138 00:06:08,497 --> 00:06:10,586 You boys have been underfoot long enough! 139 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,850 You jerked the words right out of my mouth. 140 00:06:12,980 --> 00:06:16,288 We're their fathers, and it's high times we acted like it. 141 00:06:16,418 --> 00:06:17,942 Ooh-hoo-hoo, here comes violence. 142 00:06:18,072 --> 00:06:19,422 [ clears throat] 143 00:06:19,552 --> 00:06:21,423 Get a job, you lazy kids. 144 00:06:23,382 --> 00:06:26,036 Uh, I guess if you want children beaten 145 00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:27,951 you have to do it yourself. 146 00:06:30,519 --> 00:06:32,521 Come on, Dad, shuffle faster! 147 00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:35,264 You don't want to miss the unveiling of our new company, do you? 148 00:06:35,394 --> 00:06:36,483 Company? 149 00:06:36,612 --> 00:06:37,658 [ laughing] 150 00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:39,268 How cute. 151 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,747 What will you be peddling? 152 00:06:40,877 --> 00:06:42,750 Lemonade? Shoe shines? 153 00:06:42,879 --> 00:06:44,403 Cootie insurance? 154 00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:47,101 Perhaps they've constructed a teddy bear hospital. 155 00:06:47,231 --> 00:06:48,930 [ both chuckling] 156 00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:52,629 Actually, we're starting a competing delivery company. 157 00:06:57,199 --> 00:07:00,158 Welcome to the world of business. 158 00:07:00,288 --> 00:07:02,987 [ both grunting] 159 00:07:05,728 --> 00:07:08,209 [ both grunting] 160 00:07:08,339 --> 00:07:10,690 Hey, who's going to use a delivery service 161 00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:12,562 with a kicked sign? 162 00:07:12,692 --> 00:07:13,911 Nobody, that's who! 163 00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:15,738 But we already have a client signed up. 164 00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,480 We're delivering the Daily Supernova. 165 00:07:17,610 --> 00:07:18,699 [ Hermes chuckling] 166 00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:20,701 So your delivery company 167 00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:23,093 is just a cute, harmless paper route. 168 00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,574 Whew! 169 00:07:24,704 --> 00:07:26,663 No. It's a serious business. 170 00:07:26,793 --> 00:07:30,406 Yes, it's a tremendous responsibility, all right. 171 00:07:30,536 --> 00:07:32,103 [ chuckling] 172 00:07:32,233 --> 00:07:34,670 What if a paper were to land in a puddle? 173 00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:37,238 Civilization as we know it might get splashed. 174 00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:39,023 [ both chuckling] 175 00:07:48,423 --> 00:07:50,252 DWIGHT: Why do they always treat us 176 00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:51,819 like dumb kids? 177 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:55,170 We're practically old enough to find the Fox Network infantile. 178 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,432 Yeah, we'll show them. 179 00:07:56,562 --> 00:07:57,737 All Awesome Express needs 180 00:07:57,867 --> 00:08:00,523 is a sturdy interstellar delivery craft. 181 00:08:00,653 --> 00:08:02,132 Voila! 182 00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:03,744 You got a quarter? 183 00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:14,971 Man, the ad said to allow four to six seconds for delivery. 184 00:08:15,103 --> 00:08:17,670 [ scoffs]: More like seven. 185 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:18,846 [ yells] 186 00:08:18,975 --> 00:08:22,023 I'm really starting to swell up with beer. 187 00:08:22,153 --> 00:08:23,980 I must look ridiculous. 188 00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:26,156 No. You have a healthy glow. 189 00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:27,637 [ belches]: Oh, my God! 190 00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:29,029 I just felt it ferment! 191 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,031 Ooh! Let me feel. 192 00:08:31,161 --> 00:08:33,250 Have you thought about what to name it? 193 00:08:33,381 --> 00:08:35,818 I was thinking Benderbrau if it's an ale; 194 00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,691 Botweiser if it's a lager. 195 00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:40,302 I hope it's a lager, so I can take it to a ball game. 196 00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:41,650 [ loud belch] 197 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:44,044 [ laughs]Ooh! I felt that one! 198 00:08:44,174 --> 00:08:46,525 [ hammering and drilling] 199 00:08:46,655 --> 00:08:48,397 [ squeaking and clicking] 200 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,442 Oh, there's a crack in the hull here. 201 00:08:51,573 --> 00:08:54,010 That could cause explosive decompression. 202 00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,317 Put a sticker on it. 203 00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,669 Off on your first delivery, eh? 204 00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:02,846 You be careful, my little tinkler. 205 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:06,327 Remember we used to call you that, huh? Tinkler? 206 00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,548 Gets moving! 207 00:09:09,678 --> 00:09:12,552 Those newspapers won'ts deliver themselveses. 208 00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,815 Only the Sunday edition can do's that. 209 00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:19,645 Goodness, there must be 50 papers in that bundle. 210 00:09:19,775 --> 00:09:21,778 That's a big number, 50. 211 00:09:21,908 --> 00:09:23,345 Yeah, if you're an idiot. 212 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,090 Three, two, one. 213 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,438 All systems go. 214 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:31,614 Blastoff! 215 00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:34,442 [ pedals squeaking] 216 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,360 See you at din-din! 217 00:09:39,490 --> 00:09:40,797 I'm blowing you a kiss! 218 00:09:40,927 --> 00:09:41,711 Mmmwah! 219 00:09:41,841 --> 00:09:42,929 [ blows] 220 00:09:43,059 --> 00:09:45,540 Aah! Take evasive action! 221 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:49,110 PROFESSOR: It's closing in. You can't avoid it. 222 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,067 It's a cheek seeker. 223 00:09:51,198 --> 00:09:53,548 And... gotcha! 224 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:55,289 CUBERT: No...! 225 00:09:55,419 --> 00:09:58,032 [ Cubert spitting repeatedly] 226 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:12,567 [ dog barking] 227 00:10:12,741 --> 00:10:14,875 [ barking] 228 00:10:15,875 --> 00:10:17,659 [ dog squeals] 229 00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:33,067 Yeah! 230 00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:34,284 [ both laughing] 231 00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,336 [ flashbulbs popping] 232 00:10:55,871 --> 00:10:57,744 Business is down, so I have filed papers 233 00:10:57,874 --> 00:11:00,528 to have you all reclassified as slaves. 234 00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:02,312 [ wheel squeaking] 235 00:11:02,443 --> 00:11:03,663 PROFESSOR: Well, well 236 00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:06,753 if it isn't our little munchkin moguls. 237 00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:08,971 Would you just... 238 00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:10,365 What's the trouble, men? 239 00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,453 Need some penny rolls for your profits? 240 00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:15,674 Actually, thanks to Dwight's brilliant accounting 241 00:11:15,804 --> 00:11:18,373 and my unaccountable brilliance [ snorts] 242 00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:21,418 our paper route now has over a million customers! 243 00:11:21,549 --> 00:11:24,770 We're finally making more money than you guys! 244 00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,250 Aren't you impressed now, Pops? 245 00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:27,817 Aren't you? Aren't you? 246 00:11:27,947 --> 00:11:30,601 Uh... in a small way, yes. 247 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:32,342 But you still don't have your own building 248 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,128 or conference table or... 249 00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:35,650 or one of those things. 250 00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,347 Hello. 251 00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:42,265 Our dads are never impressed, no matter what we do. 252 00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,832 Maybe we should start a fire. 253 00:11:43,963 --> 00:11:45,705 If we really want to impress them 254 00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:48,184 we'll have to crush them-- with strategy... 255 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:51,057 "Dwight Lightning." 256 00:11:51,187 --> 00:11:54,844 Very well, but I get to name the next strategy. 257 00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,846 ANNOUNCER: This week 258 00:11:56,976 --> 00:11:58,717 on The Real World-- The Sun 259 00:11:58,847 --> 00:11:59,849 [ man screams] 260 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,937 I'm burning to death! 261 00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:02,851 Oh! You know how much 262 00:12:02,982 --> 00:12:04,811 an apartment that big would cost 263 00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,725 on the sun? 264 00:12:06,855 --> 00:12:08,857 People, as you know, our young sons 265 00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:10,730 have become great successes 266 00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,514 in the very same field as us. 267 00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:14,168 Yay!That's great! All right! 268 00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:16,256 Naturally, we're humiliated. 269 00:12:16,386 --> 00:12:19,173 That's why we need you, our loyal crew 270 00:12:19,302 --> 00:12:22,697 to make Planet Express 800% more profitable. 271 00:12:22,828 --> 00:12:24,264 We'll start by slashing salaries 272 00:12:24,394 --> 00:12:26,309 and this time I mean reallyslashing. 273 00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:28,835 Uh, guys, I don't know how to tell you this 274 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:31,620 so I'll just let Fry blurt it out thoughtlessly. 275 00:12:31,750 --> 00:12:33,187 We don't work for you anymore! 276 00:12:33,317 --> 00:12:33,970 [ gasps] What?! 277 00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:34,927 Dwight and Cubert 278 00:12:35,057 --> 00:12:35,884 made us a better offer. 279 00:12:36,015 --> 00:12:37,234 We're paperboys now. 280 00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,409 Incoming! We got papers to stuff, team. 281 00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:40,672 Hup to, hup to. 282 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:41,890 Yes, sir.Right away. 283 00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:43,413 We're on it, Mr. Farnsworth. 284 00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:53,684 Folks, the situation is grim, but we shall prevail 285 00:12:53,816 --> 00:12:57,514 thanks to you, our crack team of loyal dregs. 286 00:13:00,039 --> 00:13:02,259 I don't even know who this guy is. 287 00:13:02,432 --> 00:13:04,043 I'm Scruffy, the janitor. 288 00:13:04,173 --> 00:13:05,914 Yes, of course you are. 289 00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,917 Now, we've got to buckle down 290 00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:09,571 and save Planet Express. 291 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,225 I'm on break. 292 00:13:14,793 --> 00:13:19,014 [ slow crunching] 293 00:13:19,145 --> 00:13:21,844 Sorry to interrupt this whirlwind of activity 294 00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:23,889 but we have an announcement. 295 00:13:24,019 --> 00:13:25,934 I direct your attention to these forms 296 00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:28,154 which I'm presently engaged in handing to you. 297 00:13:28,284 --> 00:13:32,245 Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg, they've taken over our company. 298 00:13:32,375 --> 00:13:34,943 Balderdash! I never agreed to that. 299 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,903 No, but you did declare yourself dead 300 00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,687 three years ago as a tax dodge. 301 00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:39,730 Tax dodge nothing. 302 00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,821 You take one nap in a ditch at the park 303 00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:44,735 and they start declaring you this and that. 304 00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,129 Either way, I technically inherit your building 305 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,349 andyour spaceship 306 00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,698 which means Planet Express is now... 307 00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,004 [ machine beeps] 308 00:13:52,134 --> 00:13:53,571 Awesome Express! 309 00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:55,965 You rotten kids! 310 00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,836 Uh, will you be hiring? 311 00:13:57,966 --> 00:13:58,880 No. 312 00:13:58,924 --> 00:14:01,361 You rotten kids! 313 00:14:08,629 --> 00:14:11,153 [ grunting] 314 00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:15,158 There, one million papers folded and loaded. 315 00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,032 Hey, Leela, help me apply 316 00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,860 these flame decals I got in my cereal. 317 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,383 They'll make the ship go faster. 318 00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,951 And what's your scientific basis for thinking that? 319 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,299 I'm 12. 320 00:14:30,216 --> 00:14:31,870 Oh... Did I ever tell you 321 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,221 how I used to own that ship? 322 00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:42,969 There but for the grace of God. 323 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,797 [ gobbling] 324 00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:49,018 ♪ Nice little brewskie, don't you leak ♪ 325 00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:52,065 ♪ Daddy wants to drink for at least a week. ♪ 326 00:14:52,195 --> 00:14:53,153 [ stomach rumbles loudly] 327 00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:54,240 Oh, my God! 328 00:14:54,370 --> 00:14:55,546 I think it's time! 329 00:14:55,677 --> 00:14:57,984 Hurry, Leela, get some coasters and cold mugs. 330 00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,855 [ Bender groaning] 331 00:14:59,985 --> 00:15:01,943 FRY: Push, Bender, push. 332 00:15:02,075 --> 00:15:04,076 [ groaning] 333 00:15:04,206 --> 00:15:05,381 You're doing great. 334 00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:09,255 It feels like I'm trying to push a waterbed out of me. 335 00:15:09,429 --> 00:15:11,998 Almost there, just two more bottles. 336 00:15:12,128 --> 00:15:13,563 Is it okay? 337 00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,610 I can't hear anything. 338 00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,046 [ slurps] 339 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:20,179 It's an ale-- five gallons, six ounces. 340 00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:26,142 [ moaning] 341 00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:27,796 Hey, what's going on? 342 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,711 This is a delivery company, not a delivery room. 343 00:15:30,841 --> 00:15:32,148 We just busted our buns 344 00:15:32,278 --> 00:15:33,628 delivering a million papers 345 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,282 and this is how you greet us? 346 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,370 With a bunch of frosty cold beers? 347 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:38,937 Hey, wait a second. 348 00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:41,591 How did you deliver a million papers in one hour? 349 00:15:41,722 --> 00:15:43,594 Uh... we just did, okay? 350 00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:45,205 'Cause we're awesome. 351 00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:46,206 Yeah. Yeah. 352 00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:47,380 Awesome. Awesome. 353 00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:48,817 [ telephone ringing] 354 00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:52,254 Hello, Awesome Express, the rude, crude delivery dudes. 355 00:15:52,428 --> 00:15:53,995 How may I direct your call? 356 00:15:54,126 --> 00:15:55,215 What's that? 357 00:15:55,345 --> 00:15:57,086 You haven't gotten your paper? 358 00:15:57,216 --> 00:15:58,870 In how long? 359 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,874 [ many phones ringing] 360 00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:11,971 Might a homeless old man have a touch more beef bourguignonne? 361 00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:14,451 And another tequila slammer? 362 00:16:15,495 --> 00:16:16,452 Please? 363 00:16:16,583 --> 00:16:17,976 Don't you sweet-talk me 364 00:16:18,106 --> 00:16:19,934 you wrinkly old tube sock. 365 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,241 May I have one, too, wife? 366 00:16:22,371 --> 00:16:23,634 You're both pathetic 367 00:16:23,764 --> 00:16:25,854 being jealous of your own offspring. 368 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,465 You should be happy that they became successes 369 00:16:28,596 --> 00:16:30,902 instead of following in your footsteps. 370 00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:33,644 Oh, it's true, but they grow up so fast. 371 00:16:33,774 --> 00:16:35,732 We just wanted a few more years 372 00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:37,474 of being better than them. 373 00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,519 They're so stinking talented 374 00:16:39,649 --> 00:16:42,740 they don't even need their fathers anymore. 375 00:16:42,870 --> 00:16:44,177 [ weeping] 376 00:16:45,307 --> 00:16:46,048 [ door slams] 377 00:16:46,178 --> 00:16:47,309 [ running footsteps] 378 00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:49,008 Dad! 379 00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:50,573 We screwed up! 380 00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:51,749 You did? 381 00:16:51,879 --> 00:16:52,706 Tough luck, suckers. 382 00:16:52,836 --> 00:16:54,274 Please, help us, Pops. 383 00:16:54,403 --> 00:16:57,320 We agreed to deliver way more papers than we could handle. 384 00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:58,755 But we couldn't handle 'em 385 00:16:58,886 --> 00:17:00,105 so we started dumping the extras 386 00:17:00,235 --> 00:17:01,280 in a crater on the moon. 387 00:17:01,410 --> 00:17:03,152 And now everybody's yelling at us 388 00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:04,326 about their missing papers. 389 00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:06,328 And we don't know what to do. 390 00:17:06,460 --> 00:17:08,330 [ kids crying] 391 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:12,030 [ fathers laughing] 392 00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:13,467 Oh... Oh... 393 00:17:13,596 --> 00:17:16,338 Why did you boys do all this? 394 00:17:16,512 --> 00:17:19,125 We just wanted you to be proud of us. 395 00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:20,256 Proud of you? 396 00:17:20,386 --> 00:17:23,303 You ruined us with sleazy business practices 397 00:17:23,432 --> 00:17:26,393 and a complete disregard for human decency. 398 00:17:26,522 --> 00:17:28,612 Of course we're proud of you. 399 00:17:28,742 --> 00:17:30,135 Damn right we are. 400 00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:31,615 Now, come on-- let's go do 401 00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:34,269 a little father-son weaseling out of this. 402 00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:42,278 PROFESSOR: Good thing I had this net installed 403 00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:43,365 for catching giraffes. 404 00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:03,820 Okay, boys, let me show you 405 00:18:03,951 --> 00:18:05,736 how a paper mandoes it. 406 00:18:13,875 --> 00:18:17,313 Au revoir...! 407 00:18:17,443 --> 00:18:19,054 Can I use the gun, Dad? 408 00:18:19,184 --> 00:18:22,971 Oh, what kind of father would I be if I said no? 409 00:18:28,454 --> 00:18:29,542 Only one house to go. 410 00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:30,760 We did it! 411 00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:32,546 [ cheering] 412 00:18:32,675 --> 00:18:33,634 Yeah! 413 00:18:33,763 --> 00:18:34,808 [ gasps] 414 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,989 Run away. That bully Brett Blob lives there. 415 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,384 He's ugly, mean, stupid, stink mucus 416 00:18:44,513 --> 00:18:47,865 and last week we sort of broke his window. 417 00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:49,911 All right, all right-- what do we do 418 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:51,607 when we break somebody's window? 419 00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:52,782 Pay for it? 420 00:18:52,913 --> 00:18:54,394 Oh, heavens, no. 421 00:18:54,523 --> 00:18:57,657 We apologize-- with nice, cheap words. 422 00:18:57,788 --> 00:18:58,875 [ doorbell ringing] 423 00:19:00,050 --> 00:19:02,009 I thought I heard the doorbell 424 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,403 but I see it was the dork bell. 425 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:07,015 [ laughing] 426 00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:09,278 Uh, you made a funny good one, Brett. 427 00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:12,280 Now, now, no need to give us the business. 428 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,369 We'd like a word with your daddy. 429 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:17,067 Whatever. Dad! 430 00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,243 Don't worry, boys. 431 00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:19,201 I'm sure his father 432 00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,595 is a perfectly normal, reasonable man. 433 00:19:21,724 --> 00:19:23,074 What the hell do you want? 434 00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,598 Mr. Blob, our sons have come to apologize 435 00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:27,383 for damaging your window. 436 00:19:27,513 --> 00:19:31,082 They've learned their lesson and they want to make amends. 437 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,387 I'm sorry, sir. 438 00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:33,301 Yeah. Sorry. 439 00:19:33,432 --> 00:19:35,260 You can shove your apology 440 00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:38,176 into the bottom of your one-way digestive system. 441 00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,353 Now, see here-- we assured our sons 442 00:19:40,482 --> 00:19:42,136 that you'd accept their apology. 443 00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:43,964 Aww. Tell you what. 444 00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:48,535 I'll accept their apology when they kiss my ass-- 445 00:19:48,664 --> 00:19:50,405 which I don't have. 446 00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:52,407 [ laughing] 447 00:19:52,538 --> 00:19:55,628 No one gives my boy that option. 448 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:56,933 Bring it on, Jello Pop. 449 00:19:57,065 --> 00:19:58,153 Yeah! Get him, Dad! 450 00:19:58,284 --> 00:19:59,372 Show him who's boss. 451 00:19:59,501 --> 00:20:01,416 [ pained groans] 452 00:20:03,549 --> 00:20:04,550 Get him... Pops. 453 00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:05,638 Hooray? 454 00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,642 [ dog yapping] 455 00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:13,994 [ growls] 456 00:20:20,087 --> 00:20:21,436 That was incredible! 457 00:20:21,567 --> 00:20:24,396 You are the bravest dads in the entire trauma center. 458 00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:26,528 You guys almost had him-- until he digested you. 459 00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:28,662 Aw, you're good kids. 460 00:20:28,791 --> 00:20:30,010 [ coughing] 461 00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:32,186 If I could feel anything right now 462 00:20:32,317 --> 00:20:33,405 it would be pride. 463 00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:35,407 [ screaming] [ screaming] 464 00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:37,932 I was wrong! I can still feel pain! 465 00:20:38,061 --> 00:20:39,106 [ knocking] 466 00:20:40,455 --> 00:20:41,413 [ shrieks] 467 00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:42,719 He's come to finish the job. 468 00:20:42,849 --> 00:20:44,286 Someone toss me out the window! 469 00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:45,548 No, no. Wait. 470 00:20:45,679 --> 00:20:48,334 I-I feel terrible about what happened. 471 00:20:48,463 --> 00:20:51,597 I've just been under a lot of stress lately 472 00:20:51,728 --> 00:20:53,686 down at the plant, you know. 473 00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:57,820 They're bringing in computers to "improve productivity" 474 00:20:57,951 --> 00:21:01,999 and... well, that's no excuse for how I acted 475 00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:04,349 but the boy needs to see that real men 476 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:07,353 solve their disagreements with words, not violence 477 00:21:07,482 --> 00:21:10,050 so, uh... if you'll accept my apology, well 478 00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:13,489 I hope we can put this embarrassing incident behind us. 479 00:21:13,619 --> 00:21:16,491 Mmm. I suppose. Oh, ah... 480 00:21:16,623 --> 00:21:17,928 Hey, chumps! 481 00:21:18,058 --> 00:21:20,496 I heard you were on the ass end of an ass-kicking 482 00:21:20,626 --> 00:21:23,238 so I figured you could use a couple of these little babies. 483 00:21:23,368 --> 00:21:24,194 Oh, why not? 484 00:21:24,326 --> 00:21:25,284 Might as well live it up 485 00:21:25,413 --> 00:21:27,373 as long as I've got this catheter in me. 486 00:21:27,502 --> 00:21:29,635 Won't you join us, Mr. Blob? 487 00:21:29,766 --> 00:21:31,376 Sounds like a plan. 488 00:21:32,421 --> 00:21:35,163 This is what makes life worth clinging to-- 489 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:38,513 three fathers enjoying a day out with their sons. 490 00:21:38,644 --> 00:21:39,558 [ bottles clink] 491 00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:41,734 It would seem we've taught our boys 492 00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:43,039 a lesson about life. 493 00:21:43,171 --> 00:21:47,044 Man or blob, it's what's inside that counts. 494 00:21:48,654 --> 00:21:50,352 [ muffled shouts]