1
00:00:34,171 --> 00:00:35,792
BENDER:
Ah, beer.

2
00:00:35,862 --> 00:00:37,171
So many choices

3
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,033
and it makes
so little difference.

4
00:00:39,103 --> 00:00:40,274
FRY:
How about Lobrau?

5
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:41,862
It has dots on it.

6
00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:45,033
Overruled! The choice
of champions is

7
00:00:45,103 --> 00:00:47,033
Pabst Blue Robot.I can't drink that.

8
00:00:47,103 --> 00:00:49,481
The metal shavings
make my throat bloody.

9
00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:53,000
Waah, waah, baby
wants his Zima.

10
00:00:53,067 --> 00:00:56,000
Hey, hey, hey,
we can all fight
when we're drunk.

11
00:00:56,067 --> 00:00:58,310
Now, listen, why don't we just
brew our own beer?

12
00:00:58,378 --> 00:01:00,033
You can brew your own beer?

13
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:03,378
Sure, the kids at the
Orphanarium used to
do it all the time.

14
00:01:03,448 --> 00:01:05,620
[ heavenly chord plays]

15
00:01:05,688 --> 00:01:06,861
[ crashing]

16
00:01:08,896 --> 00:01:10,724
Cursed bacteria of Liberia!

17
00:01:10,793 --> 00:01:13,585
My own son,
suspended from boarding school.

18
00:01:13,655 --> 00:01:14,757
It's not my fault, Dad.

19
00:01:14,826 --> 00:01:16,067
PROFESSOR:
And you, Cubert!

20
00:01:16,137 --> 00:01:18,033
I cloned you
from one of my warts

21
00:01:18,103 --> 00:01:20,516
and I can send you
straight back in there!

22
00:01:20,585 --> 00:01:21,481
Nuh-uh!

23
00:01:21,551 --> 00:01:22,757
What's going on?

24
00:01:22,826 --> 00:01:23,930
Is this angry yelling

25
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,551
or busted hearing aid yelling?

26
00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:27,655
I'm afraid it's both.What?!

27
00:01:27,724 --> 00:01:30,000
Now, hold on.
Everyone cool your daiquiris.

28
00:01:30,067 --> 00:01:33,275
Let's give the little vermin
a chance to explain themselves.

29
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,000
It was self-defense, Mom.

30
00:01:35,067 --> 00:01:37,688
Just look at this letter
the principal sent.

31
00:01:39,448 --> 00:01:41,310
We were in science class

32
00:01:41,378 --> 00:01:43,103
and we had just finished
building

33
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:44,412
a miniature black hole.

34
00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:46,103
That was easy.

35
00:01:46,171 --> 00:01:47,655
Pretty scrawny
black hole.

36
00:01:47,723 --> 00:01:49,343
It must be hungry.

37
00:01:49,412 --> 00:01:50,551
[ scoffs]

38
00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:52,240
Black holes
don't need food.

39
00:01:52,310 --> 00:01:53,826
Neither do nerds!

40
00:01:57,655 --> 00:01:59,103
My Manwich!

41
00:01:59,171 --> 00:02:01,034
[ laughing]

42
00:02:01,102 --> 00:02:03,724
That's it, Brett--
you've compressed
our lunches

43
00:02:03,793 --> 00:02:05,688
to a singularity
for the last time!

44
00:02:05,757 --> 00:02:07,861
Salt him, Dwight!

45
00:02:07,930 --> 00:02:11,413
[ groaning]

46
00:02:11,481 --> 00:02:15,171
When I re-solidify, I'm going
to put you in a world of goop.

47
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:16,723
[ both whimpering]

48
00:02:16,793 --> 00:02:18,586
See? That bully started it.

49
00:02:18,655 --> 00:02:21,896
We couldn't fight back with
brawn, so we used our brains.

50
00:02:21,965 --> 00:02:24,448
I warned you
not to use those things!

51
00:02:26,550 --> 00:02:29,723
Let's see, we've got
our malt, our hops...

52
00:02:29,793 --> 00:02:32,655
We just need a big,
disposable tub to mix it in.

53
00:02:32,723 --> 00:02:33,448
Yo.

54
00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:41,000
Now it needs to boil
for a couple hours.

55
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:44,965
[ whistling a tune]

56
00:02:45,033 --> 00:02:47,137
[ video game beeping]

57
00:02:47,206 --> 00:02:49,000
Dwight, you remember
the crew.
[ grunts]

58
00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:50,413
Crew, you remember Cubert?

59
00:02:50,481 --> 00:02:51,688
[ all grunt]

60
00:02:51,758 --> 00:02:54,171
Wonderful! Then I'm
sure you won't mind

61
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,000
being their legal
guardians for a month.

62
00:02:58,965 --> 00:03:00,343
Well, well

63
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:02,241
if it isn't my old friends

64
00:03:02,310 --> 00:03:03,723
Stretch-Pants...

65
00:03:03,793 --> 00:03:05,758
No-Pants and...

66
00:03:05,826 --> 00:03:06,931
Idiot.

67
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,413
We're making beer;
I'm the brewery.

68
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:11,103
I heard alcohol
makes you stupid.

69
00:03:11,171 --> 00:03:12,758
No, I'm... doesn't.

70
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,103
Actually, Dwight,
you're right--

71
00:03:15,171 --> 00:03:17,723
alcohol is very,
very bad.

72
00:03:17,793 --> 00:03:19,033
For children.

73
00:03:19,103 --> 00:03:22,205
But once you turn 21, it
becomes very, very good.

74
00:03:22,275 --> 00:03:23,550
So scram!

75
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,586
Oh, man,
I'm sick of this.[ grumbling]

76
00:03:25,655 --> 00:03:26,861
[ electronic beeping]

77
00:03:26,931 --> 00:03:28,137
Hey, Dad.

78
00:03:28,205 --> 00:03:31,000
What useless contraption
are you half-baking today?

79
00:03:31,068 --> 00:03:32,206
Whuh?

80
00:03:32,275 --> 00:03:34,930
Oh, this is my
latest invention--

81
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:39,067
a device that lets anyone
sound exactly like me.

82
00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:42,310
[ Professor's voice]:
Good news, everyone--
I'm a horse's butt.

83
00:03:42,378 --> 00:03:45,343
I am? That's not good news
at all, you little...

84
00:03:45,413 --> 00:03:46,550
[ whimpers like Professor]

85
00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:48,206
What's this device's
marketability?

86
00:03:48,275 --> 00:03:49,688
Who's the target consumer?

87
00:03:49,758 --> 00:03:53,137
There is no
target consumer--
only targets.

88
00:03:53,206 --> 00:03:55,586
Targets that will
tremble in fear

89
00:03:55,655 --> 00:03:58,000
as their new masters
hand down edicts

90
00:03:58,067 --> 00:04:00,413
in my glorious booming voice!

91
00:04:00,481 --> 00:04:04,655
[ own exaggerated voice]:
Now, quit pestering me,
you confounded scoundrels!

92
00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:07,516
[ to "Get Up, Stand Up"]:
♪ Stamp it, file it, oh, yeah ♪

93
00:04:07,586 --> 00:04:09,413
♪ Send it overnight... ♪

94
00:04:09,481 --> 00:04:10,931
Can I collate that?

95
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,033
No.Can I shred
these contracts?

96
00:04:13,103 --> 00:04:14,931
No!

97
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,654
Wow! A power stamper!

98
00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:20,137
[ all yelling]

99
00:04:22,413 --> 00:04:24,206
Now look at all the work
I got to do!

100
00:04:26,481 --> 00:04:27,516
Ow!

101
00:04:27,586 --> 00:04:30,723
[ both laughing]

102
00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:33,137
[ loud belch]

103
00:04:34,413 --> 00:04:36,793
Mm. The ingredients
are cooked

104
00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:39,620
and they've picked up some of
your natural robot flavorings.

105
00:04:39,689 --> 00:04:41,240
Time to add the yeast.

106
00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:46,447
Yeast? You mean... I'll have
a life-form growing inside me?

107
00:04:46,516 --> 00:04:48,689
[ voice breaking]:
It's so beautiful.

108
00:04:48,757 --> 00:04:50,033
[ blows nose]

109
00:04:50,103 --> 00:04:52,379
[ phone ringing]

110
00:04:52,447 --> 00:04:53,723
Talk to me.

111
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,620
This is Professor Farnsworth.

112
00:04:55,689 --> 00:04:59,172
I have an important delivery
for you and your dumb crew.

113
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:02,379
You must deliver a pizza
to Dogdoo Eight

114
00:05:02,447 --> 00:05:05,240
a planet at the edge
of the universe.

115
00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:08,413
[ Professor's voice]:
Sorry I can't come down
to say good-bye

116
00:05:08,481 --> 00:05:10,274
but I'm busy inventing
useless junk.

117
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,413
And I smell bad.

118
00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:13,586
[ both giggling]

119
00:05:13,654 --> 00:05:15,033
[ giggling continues]

120
00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:27,481
[ video game beeping]

121
00:05:30,274 --> 00:05:31,206
Hey!

122
00:05:31,274 --> 00:05:32,620
[ groans]

123
00:05:32,689 --> 00:05:35,689
If you were my kids, you'd
get quite a talking to.

124
00:05:35,757 --> 00:05:37,000
From your father.

125
00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:39,206
When he got home
from the senate.

126
00:05:39,274 --> 00:05:41,447
Oh, bother!
What have they done now?

127
00:05:41,516 --> 00:05:44,826
Those pork dumplings
sent us on a fake
pizza delivery!

128
00:05:44,896 --> 00:05:46,481
The address was
on Dogdoo Eight

129
00:05:46,550 --> 00:05:49,033
but the universe
ends right after
Dogdoo Seven.

130
00:05:49,103 --> 00:05:50,793
Child-mon, is this true?

131
00:05:50,862 --> 00:05:52,862
Yeah, but why are you
mad at us?

132
00:05:52,930 --> 00:05:56,620
Your dummy brigade
wasted a week on an
obviously fake mission.

133
00:05:56,689 --> 00:06:00,067
Plus, they're making bootleg
beer inside company property.

134
00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:02,172
Lies! Lies and slander!

135
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,689
[ loud belch]

136
00:06:03,757 --> 00:06:06,516
Accusing gentle Bender
of a misdeed?

137
00:06:06,586 --> 00:06:08,172
That's the last straw!

138
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,379
You boys have been
underfoot long enough!

139
00:06:10,447 --> 00:06:12,826
You jerked the words
right out of my mouth.

140
00:06:12,896 --> 00:06:16,137
We're their fathers,
and it's high times
we acted like it.

141
00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:17,896
Ooh-hoo-hoo,
here comes violence.

142
00:06:17,964 --> 00:06:19,481
[ clears throat]

143
00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:21,447
Get a job,
you lazy kids.

144
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,930
Uh, I guess
if you want children beaten

145
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,896
you have to do it yourself.

146
00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:32,379
Come on, Dad,
shuffle faster!

147
00:06:32,447 --> 00:06:35,137
You don't want to miss
the unveiling of our
new company, do you?

148
00:06:35,206 --> 00:06:36,516
Company?

149
00:06:36,586 --> 00:06:37,654
[ laughing]

150
00:06:37,723 --> 00:06:39,137
How cute.

151
00:06:39,206 --> 00:06:40,723
What will you be peddling?

152
00:06:40,793 --> 00:06:42,723
Lemonade? Shoe shines?

153
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,206
Cootie insurance?

154
00:06:44,274 --> 00:06:47,000
Perhaps they've constructed
a teddy bear hospital.

155
00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,896
[ both chuckling]

156
00:06:48,965 --> 00:06:52,379
Actually, we're starting a
competing delivery company.

157
00:06:57,067 --> 00:07:00,033
Welcome to the world
of business.

158
00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:02,930
[ both grunting]

159
00:07:05,482 --> 00:07:08,103
[ both grunting]

160
00:07:08,172 --> 00:07:10,689
Hey, who's going to use
a delivery service

161
00:07:10,757 --> 00:07:12,379
with a kicked sign?

162
00:07:12,447 --> 00:07:13,896
Nobody, that's who!

163
00:07:13,964 --> 00:07:15,757
But we already have
a client signed up.

164
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:17,550
We're delivering
the Daily Supernova.

165
00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:18,689
[ Hermes chuckling]

166
00:07:18,757 --> 00:07:20,757
So your delivery company

167
00:07:20,826 --> 00:07:23,000
is just a cute,
harmless paper route.

168
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,343
Whew!

169
00:07:24,413 --> 00:07:26,654
No. It's a serious business.

170
00:07:26,723 --> 00:07:30,240
Yes, it's a tremendous
responsibility, all right.

171
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:31,964
[ chuckling]

172
00:07:32,033 --> 00:07:34,447
What if a paper were
to land in a puddle?

173
00:07:34,516 --> 00:07:37,137
Civilization as we know it
might get splashed.

174
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,965
[ both chuckling]

175
00:07:48,274 --> 00:07:50,137
DWIGHT:
Why do they always treat us

176
00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:51,826
like dumb kids?

177
00:07:51,896 --> 00:07:55,067
We're practically old enough to
find the Fox Network infantile.

178
00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:56,310
Yeah, we'll show them.

179
00:07:56,379 --> 00:07:57,793
All Awesome Express needs

180
00:07:57,862 --> 00:08:00,550
is a sturdy interstellar
delivery craft.

181
00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:02,033
Voila!

182
00:08:02,103 --> 00:08:03,723
You got a quarter?

183
00:08:11,481 --> 00:08:14,930
Man, the ad said
to allow four to six
seconds for delivery.

184
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,447
[ scoffs]:
More like seven.

185
00:08:17,516 --> 00:08:18,862
[ yells]

186
00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:21,964
I'm really starting
to swell up with beer.

187
00:08:22,033 --> 00:08:23,896
I must look ridiculous.

188
00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:26,033
No. You have a healthy glow.

189
00:08:26,103 --> 00:08:27,447
[ belches]:
Oh, my God!

190
00:08:27,516 --> 00:08:28,964
I just felt it ferment!

191
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:31,000
Ooh! Let me feel.

192
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:33,136
Have you thought
about what to name it?

193
00:08:33,206 --> 00:08:35,826
I was thinking Benderbrau
if it's an ale;

194
00:08:35,895 --> 00:08:37,481
Botweiser if it's a lager.

195
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:40,206
I hope it's a lager,
so I can take it to a ball game.

196
00:08:40,274 --> 00:08:41,447
[ loud belch]

197
00:08:41,517 --> 00:08:43,965
[ laughs]Ooh! I felt that one!

198
00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:46,413
[ hammering and drilling]

199
00:08:46,481 --> 00:08:48,274
[ squeaking and clicking]

200
00:08:48,344 --> 00:08:51,274
Oh, there's a crack
in the hull here.

201
00:08:51,344 --> 00:08:53,931
That could cause
explosive decompression.

202
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,136
Put a sticker on it.

203
00:08:58,379 --> 00:09:00,447
Off on your first delivery, eh?

204
00:09:00,517 --> 00:09:02,861
You be careful,
my little tinkler.

205
00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:06,206
Remember we used
to call you that, huh? Tinkler?

206
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:09,379
Gets moving!

207
00:09:09,447 --> 00:09:12,379
Those newspapers won'ts
deliver themselveses.

208
00:09:12,447 --> 00:09:14,826
Only the Sunday edition
can do's that.

209
00:09:14,895 --> 00:09:19,688
Goodness, there must be
50 papers in that bundle.

210
00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:21,586
That's a big number, 50.

211
00:09:21,654 --> 00:09:23,240
Yeah, if you're an idiot.

212
00:09:26,413 --> 00:09:29,033
Three, two, one.

213
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,309
All systems go.

214
00:09:30,379 --> 00:09:31,654
Blastoff!

215
00:09:31,724 --> 00:09:34,274
[ pedals squeaking]

216
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,240
See you at din-din!

217
00:09:39,309 --> 00:09:40,551
I'm blowing you a kiss!

218
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:41,724
Mmmwah!

219
00:09:41,793 --> 00:09:42,895
[ blows]

220
00:09:42,965 --> 00:09:45,379
Aah! Take evasive action!

221
00:09:45,447 --> 00:09:49,033
PROFESSOR:
It's closing in.
You can't avoid it.

222
00:09:49,102 --> 00:09:51,000
It's a cheek seeker.

223
00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:53,413
And... gotcha!

224
00:09:53,481 --> 00:09:55,206
CUBERT:
No...!

225
00:09:55,274 --> 00:09:57,965
[ Cubert spitting repeatedly]

226
00:10:08,724 --> 00:10:12,447
[ dog barking]

227
00:10:12,517 --> 00:10:14,861
[ barking]

228
00:10:15,861 --> 00:10:17,654
[ dog squeals]

229
00:10:32,102 --> 00:10:33,000
Yeah!

230
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,136
[ both laughing]

231
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:41,172
[ flashbulbs popping]

232
00:10:55,861 --> 00:10:57,758
Business is down,
so I have filed papers

233
00:10:57,826 --> 00:11:00,379
to have you all reclassified
as slaves.

234
00:11:00,447 --> 00:11:02,206
[ wheel squeaking]

235
00:11:02,274 --> 00:11:03,517
PROFESSOR:
Well, well

236
00:11:03,586 --> 00:11:06,793
if it isn't our little
munchkin moguls.

237
00:11:06,861 --> 00:11:08,931
Would you just...

238
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,240
What's the trouble, men?

239
00:11:10,309 --> 00:11:12,344
Need some penny rolls
for your profits?

240
00:11:12,413 --> 00:11:15,517
Actually, thanks to Dwight's
brilliant accounting

241
00:11:15,586 --> 00:11:18,274
and my unaccountable
brilliance [ snorts]

242
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,309
our paper route now has
over a million customers!

243
00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:24,586
We're finally making more money
than you guys!

244
00:11:24,654 --> 00:11:26,206
Aren't you impressed now, Pops?

245
00:11:26,274 --> 00:11:27,620
Aren't you? Aren't you?

246
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:30,447
Uh...
in a small way, yes.

247
00:11:30,517 --> 00:11:32,240
But you still don't have
your own building

248
00:11:32,309 --> 00:11:34,102
or conference table or...

249
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:35,517
or one of those things.

250
00:11:35,586 --> 00:11:37,240
Hello.

251
00:11:39,413 --> 00:11:42,172
Our dads are never impressed,
no matter what we do.

252
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:43,861
Maybe we should
start a fire.

253
00:11:43,931 --> 00:11:45,517
If we really want
to impress them

254
00:11:45,586 --> 00:11:48,102
we'll have to crush them--
with strategy...

255
00:11:48,172 --> 00:11:51,067
"Dwight Lightning."

256
00:11:51,136 --> 00:11:54,895
Very well, but I get to
name the next strategy.

257
00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:56,654
ANNOUNCER:
This week

258
00:11:56,724 --> 00:11:58,551
on The Real World--
The Sun

259
00:11:58,620 --> 00:11:59,861
[ man screams]

260
00:11:59,931 --> 00:12:01,620
I'm burning to death!

261
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:02,895
Oh! You know
how much

262
00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:04,826
an apartment
that big would cost

263
00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:06,793
on the sun?

264
00:12:06,861 --> 00:12:08,931
People, as you know,
our young sons

265
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,586
have become
great successes

266
00:12:10,654 --> 00:12:12,413
in the very same
field as us.

267
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,136
Yay!That's great!
All right!

268
00:12:14,206 --> 00:12:16,206
Naturally,
we're humiliated.

269
00:12:16,274 --> 00:12:19,136
That's why we need you,
our loyal crew

270
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:22,517
to make Planet Express
800% more profitable.

271
00:12:22,586 --> 00:12:24,206
We'll start by slashing salaries

272
00:12:24,274 --> 00:12:26,240
and this time I mean
reallyslashing.

273
00:12:26,309 --> 00:12:28,620
Uh, guys, I don't know how
to tell you this

274
00:12:28,688 --> 00:12:31,447
so I'll just let Fry
blurt it out thoughtlessly.

275
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:33,136
We don't work
for you anymore!

276
00:12:33,206 --> 00:12:33,793
[ gasps]
What?!

277
00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:34,724
Dwight and Cubert

278
00:12:34,793 --> 00:12:35,895
made us a better offer.

279
00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,172
We're paperboys now.

280
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,309
Incoming! We got papers
to stuff, team.

281
00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:40,517
Hup to, hup to.

282
00:12:40,586 --> 00:12:41,688
Yes, sir.Right away.

283
00:12:41,758 --> 00:12:43,309
We're on it,
Mr. Farnsworth.

284
00:12:49,965 --> 00:12:53,551
Folks, the situation is grim,
but we shall prevail

285
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:57,413
thanks to you,
our crack team of loyal dregs.

286
00:13:00,067 --> 00:13:02,240
I don't even know
who this guy is.

287
00:13:02,309 --> 00:13:04,033
I'm Scruffy, the janitor.

288
00:13:04,102 --> 00:13:05,688
Yes, of course you are.

289
00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:07,654
Now, we've got
to buckle down

290
00:13:07,724 --> 00:13:09,447
and save Planet Express.

291
00:13:09,517 --> 00:13:11,102
I'm on break.

292
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:18,826
[ slow crunching]

293
00:13:18,895 --> 00:13:21,861
Sorry to interrupt
this whirlwind of activity

294
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,931
but we have an announcement.

295
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,758
I direct your attention
to these forms

296
00:13:25,826 --> 00:13:28,172
which I'm presently engaged
in handing to you.

297
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:32,206
Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg,
they've taken over our company.

298
00:13:32,274 --> 00:13:34,758
Balderdash! I never
agreed to that.

299
00:13:34,826 --> 00:13:36,724
No, but you did
declare yourself dead

300
00:13:36,793 --> 00:13:38,517
three years ago
as a tax dodge.

301
00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:39,620
Tax dodge nothing.

302
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,895
You take one nap
in a ditch at the park

303
00:13:41,965 --> 00:13:44,620
and they start declaring you
this and that.

304
00:13:44,688 --> 00:13:47,102
Either way, I technically
inherit your building

305
00:13:47,172 --> 00:13:48,240
andyour spaceship

306
00:13:48,309 --> 00:13:50,551
which means
Planet Express is now...

307
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:51,793
[ machine beeps]

308
00:13:51,861 --> 00:13:53,517
Awesome Express!

309
00:13:54,551 --> 00:13:56,033
You rotten kids!

310
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,309
Uh, will you be hiring?

311
00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:58,895
No.

312
00:13:58,965 --> 00:14:01,274
You rotten kids!

313
00:14:08,551 --> 00:14:11,136
[ grunting]

314
00:14:11,206 --> 00:14:15,102
There, one million papers
folded and loaded.

315
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:18,826
Hey, Leela, help me apply

316
00:14:18,895 --> 00:14:20,724
these flame decals
I got in my cereal.

317
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,379
They'll make the ship
go faster.

318
00:14:22,447 --> 00:14:25,000
And what's your scientific
basis for thinking that?

319
00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:26,240
I'm 12.

320
00:14:29,931 --> 00:14:31,895
Oh... Did I
ever tell you

321
00:14:31,965 --> 00:14:34,172
how I used to
own that ship?

322
00:14:40,033 --> 00:14:42,758
There but for the grace of God.

323
00:14:42,826 --> 00:14:45,654
[ gobbling]

324
00:14:45,724 --> 00:14:49,102
♪ Nice little brewskie,
don't you leak ♪

325
00:14:49,172 --> 00:14:51,826
♪ Daddy wants to drink
for at least a week. ♪

326
00:14:51,895 --> 00:14:53,136
[ stomach rumbles loudly]

327
00:14:53,206 --> 00:14:54,206
Oh, my God!

328
00:14:54,274 --> 00:14:55,447
I think it's time!

329
00:14:55,517 --> 00:14:57,793
Hurry, Leela, get some
coasters and cold mugs.

330
00:14:57,861 --> 00:14:59,724
[ Bender groaning]

331
00:14:59,793 --> 00:15:01,931
FRY:
Push, Bender, push.

332
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,861
[ groaning]

333
00:15:03,931 --> 00:15:05,344
You're doing great.

334
00:15:05,413 --> 00:15:09,274
It feels like I'm trying
to push a waterbed out of me.

335
00:15:09,344 --> 00:15:12,033
Almost there,
just two more bottles.

336
00:15:12,102 --> 00:15:13,447
Is it okay?

337
00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:15,517
I can't hear
anything.

338
00:15:15,586 --> 00:15:16,861
[ slurps]

339
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:20,136
It's an ale--
five gallons, six ounces.

340
00:15:23,033 --> 00:15:26,102
[ moaning]

341
00:15:26,172 --> 00:15:27,654
Hey, what's going on?

342
00:15:27,724 --> 00:15:30,620
This is a delivery company,
not a delivery room.

343
00:15:30,688 --> 00:15:31,931
We just
busted our buns

344
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,551
delivering
a million papers

345
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,274
and this is
how you greet us?

346
00:15:35,344 --> 00:15:37,309
With a bunch
of frosty cold beers?

347
00:15:37,379 --> 00:15:38,793
Hey, wait a second.

348
00:15:38,861 --> 00:15:41,517
How did you deliver
a million papers in one hour?

349
00:15:41,586 --> 00:15:43,481
Uh... we just did, okay?

350
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,206
'Cause we're awesome.

351
00:15:45,274 --> 00:15:46,206
Yeah.
Yeah.

352
00:15:46,274 --> 00:15:47,379
Awesome.
Awesome.

353
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,688
[ telephone ringing]

354
00:15:48,758 --> 00:15:52,274
Hello, Awesome Express,
the rude, crude delivery dudes.

355
00:15:52,344 --> 00:15:54,033
How may I direct your call?

356
00:15:54,102 --> 00:15:55,172
What's that?

357
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,861
You haven't gotten your paper?

358
00:15:56,931 --> 00:15:58,688
In how long?

359
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:02,688
[ many phones ringing]

360
00:16:06,724 --> 00:16:12,000
Might a homeless old man have
a touch more beef bourguignonne?

361
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:14,344
And another tequila slammer?

362
00:16:15,413 --> 00:16:16,379
Please?

363
00:16:16,447 --> 00:16:18,000
Don't you sweet-talk me

364
00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:19,793
you wrinkly old tube sock.

365
00:16:19,861 --> 00:16:22,274
May I have one,
too, wife?

366
00:16:22,344 --> 00:16:23,551
You're both pathetic

367
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:25,724
being jealous
of your own offspring.

368
00:16:25,793 --> 00:16:28,447
You should be happy
that they became successes

369
00:16:28,517 --> 00:16:30,793
instead of following
in your footsteps.

370
00:16:30,861 --> 00:16:33,551
Oh, it's true,
but they grow up so fast.

371
00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:35,620
We just wanted
a few more years

372
00:16:35,688 --> 00:16:37,413
of being better
than them.

373
00:16:37,481 --> 00:16:39,447
They're so
stinking talented

374
00:16:39,517 --> 00:16:42,586
they don't even need
their fathers anymore.

375
00:16:42,654 --> 00:16:43,965
[ weeping]

376
00:16:45,033 --> 00:16:46,067
[ door slams]

377
00:16:46,136 --> 00:16:47,274
[ running footsteps]

378
00:16:47,344 --> 00:16:49,033
Dad!

379
00:16:49,102 --> 00:16:50,481
We screwed up!

380
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:51,586
You did?

381
00:16:51,654 --> 00:16:52,586
Tough luck, suckers.

382
00:16:52,654 --> 00:16:54,274
Please, help us, Pops.

383
00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:57,309
We agreed to deliver way more
papers than we could handle.

384
00:16:57,379 --> 00:16:58,654
But we couldn't
handle 'em

385
00:16:58,724 --> 00:17:00,136
so we started
dumping the extras

386
00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:01,274
in a crater
on the moon.

387
00:17:01,344 --> 00:17:02,931
And now everybody's
yelling at us

388
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,309
about their
missing papers.

389
00:17:04,378 --> 00:17:06,309
And we don't know
what to do.

390
00:17:06,378 --> 00:17:08,309
[ kids crying]

391
00:17:08,378 --> 00:17:11,895
[ fathers laughing]

392
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,448
Oh...
Oh...

393
00:17:13,517 --> 00:17:16,378
Why did you boys
do all this?

394
00:17:16,448 --> 00:17:18,895
We just wanted you
to be proud of us.

395
00:17:18,964 --> 00:17:20,240
Proud of you?

396
00:17:20,309 --> 00:17:23,275
You ruined us
with sleazy business practices

397
00:17:23,344 --> 00:17:26,378
and a complete disregard
for human decency.

398
00:17:26,448 --> 00:17:28,550
Of course we're
proud of you.

399
00:17:28,619 --> 00:17:29,931
Damn right we are.

400
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,550
Now, come on--
let's go do

401
00:17:31,619 --> 00:17:34,240
a little father-son
weaseling out of this.

402
00:17:39,586 --> 00:17:42,034
PROFESSOR:
Good thing I had
this net installed

403
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:43,309
for catching giraffes.

404
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:03,689
Okay, boys,
let me show you

405
00:18:03,758 --> 00:18:05,586
how a paper mandoes it.

406
00:18:13,723 --> 00:18:17,067
Au revoir...!

407
00:18:17,136 --> 00:18:18,931
Can I use
the gun, Dad?

408
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,792
Oh, what kind of father
would I be if I said no?

409
00:18:28,205 --> 00:18:29,481
Only one house to go.

410
00:18:29,550 --> 00:18:30,654
We did it!

411
00:18:30,723 --> 00:18:32,448
[ cheering]

412
00:18:32,517 --> 00:18:33,550
Yeah!

413
00:18:33,619 --> 00:18:34,689
[ gasps]

414
00:18:38,136 --> 00:18:40,826
Run away. That bully
Brett Blob lives there.

415
00:18:40,895 --> 00:18:44,378
He's ugly, mean,
stupid, stink mucus

416
00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:47,758
and last week we
sort of broke his window.

417
00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:49,758
All right, all right--
what do we do

418
00:18:49,826 --> 00:18:51,517
when we break somebody's window?

419
00:18:51,586 --> 00:18:52,654
Pay for it?

420
00:18:52,723 --> 00:18:54,378
Oh, heavens, no.

421
00:18:54,448 --> 00:18:57,619
We apologize--
with nice, cheap words.

422
00:18:57,689 --> 00:18:58,758
[ doorbell ringing]

423
00:18:59,895 --> 00:19:01,826
I thought I heard
the doorbell

424
00:19:01,895 --> 00:19:04,413
but I see it was the dork bell.

425
00:19:04,481 --> 00:19:06,862
[ laughing]

426
00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:09,067
Uh, you made a
funny good one, Brett.

427
00:19:09,136 --> 00:19:12,067
Now, now, no need to
give us the business.

428
00:19:12,136 --> 00:19:14,378
We'd like a word
with your daddy.

429
00:19:14,448 --> 00:19:16,895
Whatever. Dad!

430
00:19:16,964 --> 00:19:18,034
Don't worry, boys.

431
00:19:18,103 --> 00:19:19,275
I'm sure his father

432
00:19:19,344 --> 00:19:21,550
is a perfectly normal,
reasonable man.

433
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:22,895
What the hell do you want?

434
00:19:22,964 --> 00:19:25,517
Mr. Blob, our sons
have come to apologize

435
00:19:25,586 --> 00:19:27,205
for damaging your window.

436
00:19:27,275 --> 00:19:30,895
They've learned their lesson
and they want to make amends.

437
00:19:30,964 --> 00:19:32,172
I'm sorry, sir.

438
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,344
Yeah. Sorry.

439
00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:35,067
You can shove your apology

440
00:19:35,136 --> 00:19:38,000
into the bottom of your
one-way digestive system.

441
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:40,103
Now, see here--
we assured our sons

442
00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:41,964
that you'd accept
their apology.

443
00:19:42,034 --> 00:19:43,895
Aww. Tell you what.

444
00:19:43,964 --> 00:19:48,517
I'll accept their apology
when they kiss my ass--

445
00:19:48,586 --> 00:19:50,413
which I don't have.

446
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,413
[ laughing]

447
00:19:52,481 --> 00:19:55,586
No one gives my boy
that option.

448
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:56,826
Bring it on, Jello Pop.

449
00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:58,000
Yeah! Get him, Dad!

450
00:19:58,067 --> 00:19:59,136
Show him who's boss.

451
00:19:59,205 --> 00:20:01,413
[ pained groans]

452
00:20:03,275 --> 00:20:04,481
Get him... Pops.

453
00:20:04,550 --> 00:20:05,550
Hooray?

454
00:20:06,550 --> 00:20:08,550
[ dog yapping]

455
00:20:11,964 --> 00:20:13,826
[ growls]

456
00:20:19,931 --> 00:20:21,205
That was incredible!

457
00:20:21,275 --> 00:20:24,172
You are the bravest dads
in the entire trauma center.

458
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,517
You guys almost had him--
until he digested you.

459
00:20:26,586 --> 00:20:28,586
Aw, you're good kids.

460
00:20:28,654 --> 00:20:29,862
[ coughing]

461
00:20:29,931 --> 00:20:32,000
If I could
feel anything right now

462
00:20:32,067 --> 00:20:33,172
it would be pride.

463
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,205
[ screaming]
[ screaming]

464
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:37,826
I was wrong! I can
still feel pain!

465
00:20:37,895 --> 00:20:38,964
[ knocking]

466
00:20:40,275 --> 00:20:41,205
[ shrieks]

467
00:20:41,275 --> 00:20:42,689
He's come
to finish the job.

468
00:20:42,758 --> 00:20:44,344
Someone toss me
out the window!

469
00:20:44,413 --> 00:20:45,550
No, no. Wait.

470
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:48,344
I-I feel terrible
about what happened.

471
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,586
I've just been under
a lot of stress lately

472
00:20:51,654 --> 00:20:53,619
down at the plant,
you know.

473
00:20:53,689 --> 00:20:57,758
They're bringing in computers
to "improve productivity"

474
00:20:57,826 --> 00:21:01,895
and... well, that's
no excuse for how I acted

475
00:21:01,964 --> 00:21:04,136
but the boy
needs to see
that real men

476
00:21:04,205 --> 00:21:07,136
solve their disagreements
with words, not violence

477
00:21:07,205 --> 00:21:09,964
so, uh... if you'll
accept my apology, well

478
00:21:10,034 --> 00:21:13,517
I hope we can put this
embarrassing incident behind us.

479
00:21:13,586 --> 00:21:16,481
Mmm. I suppose.
Oh, ah...

480
00:21:16,550 --> 00:21:17,862
Hey, chumps!

481
00:21:17,931 --> 00:21:20,517
I heard you were on the ass end
of an ass-kicking

482
00:21:20,586 --> 00:21:23,067
so I figured you could use
a couple of these little babies.

483
00:21:23,136 --> 00:21:24,034
Oh, why not?

484
00:21:24,103 --> 00:21:25,344
Might as well live it up

485
00:21:25,413 --> 00:21:27,205
as long as I've got
this catheter in me.

486
00:21:27,275 --> 00:21:29,619
Won't you join us,
Mr. Blob?

487
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,103
Sounds like a plan.

488
00:21:32,448 --> 00:21:35,000
This is what makes life
worth clinging to--

489
00:21:35,067 --> 00:21:38,275
three fathers enjoying
a day out with their sons.

490
00:21:38,344 --> 00:21:39,550
[ bottles clink]

491
00:21:39,619 --> 00:21:41,654
It would seem
we've taught our boys

492
00:21:41,723 --> 00:21:42,964
a lesson about life.

493
00:21:43,034 --> 00:21:46,931
Man or blob,
it's what's inside that counts.

494
00:21:48,413 --> 00:21:50,378
[ muffled shouts]