1 00:00:32,344 --> 00:00:33,758 [ humming] 2 00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:36,240 Woo-hoo! Yeah! 3 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,689 Whoa! Ah! 4 00:00:41,033 --> 00:00:42,723 Shman! The great rad spot 5 00:00:42,792 --> 00:00:44,965 is mega-sweet for party-boarding! 6 00:00:45,033 --> 00:00:46,000 Indeed. 7 00:00:46,067 --> 00:00:47,551 Any calls while I was out? 8 00:00:47,619 --> 00:00:49,033 Yeah. 9 00:00:49,103 --> 00:00:52,344 You got a telesonic transmission from Kif a couple hours ago. 10 00:00:52,412 --> 00:00:53,758 [ gasps] 11 00:00:53,826 --> 00:00:55,310 My Kiffy called? 12 00:00:55,378 --> 00:00:57,792 Kif? 13 00:00:57,862 --> 00:00:59,344 Ooh, Amy, you're back! 14 00:00:59,412 --> 00:01:01,689 Another hour and I would have thought about hanging up. 15 00:01:01,758 --> 00:01:03,862 Why didn't you just leave a message, sweetie? 16 00:01:03,930 --> 00:01:06,206 Well, um, I've left hundreds of messages 17 00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:07,861 with your answering machine 18 00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:09,826 but you... never seem to get them. 19 00:01:09,896 --> 00:01:11,102 Bender! 20 00:01:11,171 --> 00:01:13,655 It's not my fault if you don't check me. 21 00:01:13,724 --> 00:01:16,310 [ babbling] 22 00:01:16,379 --> 00:01:17,826 Messages erased. 23 00:01:17,896 --> 00:01:20,793 Oh, dearest, this long distance relationship 24 00:01:20,861 --> 00:01:22,240 is too much to bare. 25 00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:25,965 When even an inch separates us, I quiver with misery. 26 00:01:26,033 --> 00:01:30,412 So you can imagine how I feel when it's a billion light-years. 27 00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:31,551 [ crying] 28 00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:35,206 Kif, don't cry, or you'll get a tummy ache. 29 00:01:35,275 --> 00:01:37,412 Lieutenant, some things came off me 30 00:01:37,481 --> 00:01:38,758 and clogged the drain 31 00:01:38,826 --> 00:01:40,343 so if you could... Oh-ho! 32 00:01:40,412 --> 00:01:41,412 What's this? 33 00:01:41,481 --> 00:01:42,826 [ beep] 34 00:01:42,896 --> 00:01:44,310 Well, well, well. 35 00:01:44,378 --> 00:01:46,137 Do my eyes believe me 36 00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:48,930 or it that my bosomy swan, Leela? 37 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,516 Say again? You're breaking up. 38 00:01:52,861 --> 00:01:54,240 Oh! 39 00:01:54,310 --> 00:01:55,793 Good news, everyone! 40 00:01:55,861 --> 00:01:58,343 You'll be delivering pain medicine 41 00:01:58,412 --> 00:02:00,930 to the Hive Mind of Nigel Seven. 42 00:02:02,724 --> 00:02:05,000 Scruffy's rolling out a large pill. 43 00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:06,551 You're going to Nigel 7? 44 00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:08,275 Kif's on patrol near there. 45 00:02:08,343 --> 00:02:10,171 You could drop me off on the way. 46 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:11,965 We could, but we won't! 47 00:02:12,033 --> 00:02:15,550 It's a spaceship, damn it, not a prom limousine. 48 00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:19,413 Ooh! If anyone needs me, I'll be in the angry dome. 49 00:02:19,481 --> 00:02:20,793 [ grumbling] 50 00:02:22,861 --> 00:02:25,655 [ grumbling and mumbling] 51 00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,655 LEELA: This is a very long trip 52 00:02:29,723 --> 00:02:32,620 so we'll all have to go into hibernative naptosis 53 00:02:32,688 --> 00:02:33,930 to save oxygen. 54 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:38,413 Aw, I don't even breathe... oxygen. 55 00:02:42,723 --> 00:02:47,240 [ snoring] 56 00:03:03,655 --> 00:03:05,343 Here I come, Kif. 57 00:03:05,413 --> 00:03:07,723 [ laughing] 58 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,655 [ laughing] 59 00:03:14,723 --> 00:03:16,965 They jumped right out of their pants. 60 00:03:17,033 --> 00:03:19,896 [ alarm sounds] 61 00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:22,378 Oh, what now? 62 00:03:22,448 --> 00:03:24,620 Activate glass window. 63 00:03:25,688 --> 00:03:27,481 [ gasps] 64 00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:29,000 Kif, I'm sensing a very 65 00:03:29,068 --> 00:03:31,448 sensual disturbance in the force. 66 00:03:31,516 --> 00:03:33,965 Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy. 67 00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:36,000 Yes, sir, Captain. 68 00:03:47,688 --> 00:03:50,896 [ snoring] 69 00:03:50,965 --> 00:03:51,861 [ loud clang] 70 00:03:51,930 --> 00:03:53,000 [ screeching] 71 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,103 [ shrieks] 72 00:03:54,171 --> 00:03:55,620 How about I help you finish that dream 73 00:03:55,688 --> 00:03:56,723 you were having about me? 74 00:03:56,793 --> 00:03:58,861 Okay. I was just at this part. 75 00:03:58,930 --> 00:04:00,068 [ battle cry] 76 00:04:00,137 --> 00:04:02,000 [ groans] 77 00:04:02,068 --> 00:04:03,965 Oh... eh... let's try that 78 00:04:04,033 --> 00:04:05,965 a little lower and a lot softer. 79 00:04:06,033 --> 00:04:07,826 Imagine you stowing away 80 00:04:07,895 --> 00:04:10,240 and stealing a licensed starship! 81 00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:13,550 Oh, it's so romantic, it gives me the shivers! 82 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:14,826 [ shivering] 83 00:04:14,896 --> 00:04:17,103 I don't care how much trouble I get in. 84 00:04:17,172 --> 00:04:20,896 I needed to feel my lips pressed against your lipless beak. 85 00:04:22,343 --> 00:04:26,103 Oh, Amy, I can't stand having a whole universe between us. 86 00:04:26,172 --> 00:04:28,310 I've been thinking a lot about this 87 00:04:28,379 --> 00:04:30,689 and, well, would you move in with me? 88 00:04:30,757 --> 00:04:32,447 Here? But, uh... 89 00:04:32,516 --> 00:04:35,000 wouldn't it be crowded? 90 00:04:35,067 --> 00:04:36,103 Well, no, no. 91 00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:37,757 It's really twice the size. 92 00:04:37,826 --> 00:04:40,654 You can use the floor, and I'll have the ceiling. 93 00:04:40,723 --> 00:04:41,723 See? 94 00:04:43,103 --> 00:04:44,274 [ giggles] 95 00:04:44,343 --> 00:04:48,000 Kif, you have so much creativity and niceness 96 00:04:48,067 --> 00:04:50,206 but I'm not sure if I... 97 00:04:50,274 --> 00:04:53,689 Hush. Before you answer, come thither. 98 00:04:54,723 --> 00:04:57,240 KIF: This is the Holo-Shed. 99 00:04:57,310 --> 00:04:59,896 It can simulate anything you desire 100 00:04:59,965 --> 00:05:01,379 and nothing can hurt you 101 00:05:01,447 --> 00:05:03,000 except when it malfunctions 102 00:05:03,067 --> 00:05:04,826 and the holograms become real. 103 00:05:04,896 --> 00:05:07,413 Well, that probably won't happen this time. 104 00:05:07,482 --> 00:05:08,620 I wanted to show you 105 00:05:08,689 --> 00:05:11,000 what life could be like if we were together. 106 00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:14,310 Computer, run program "Kif One." 107 00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:16,240 [ whirring] 108 00:05:16,310 --> 00:05:17,481 [ gasps] 109 00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:20,447 This is so beautiful! 110 00:05:20,516 --> 00:05:21,757 Spirit! 111 00:05:21,826 --> 00:05:23,723 Kif, that's the pony I always wanted 112 00:05:23,793 --> 00:05:24,862 but my parents said 113 00:05:24,930 --> 00:05:26,620 I had too many ponies already. 114 00:05:26,689 --> 00:05:29,137 Yes, I programmed it in for you. 115 00:05:29,206 --> 00:05:31,379 Four million lines of BASIC. 116 00:05:31,447 --> 00:05:34,481 And-and if this isn't the life you want 117 00:05:34,550 --> 00:05:35,723 how about this? 118 00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,896 Run program "Kif Two." 119 00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:39,862 [ whirring] 120 00:05:39,930 --> 00:05:41,793 Oh, Kif! 121 00:05:41,862 --> 00:05:45,654 We could live here at the shore of the Tranquilibrius Sea 122 00:05:45,723 --> 00:05:46,965 in a time-share. 123 00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:49,586 And I would pluck the moon from the sky 124 00:05:49,654 --> 00:05:51,206 just to see you smile. 125 00:05:51,274 --> 00:05:53,723 [ grunting] 126 00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:55,723 Almost got it. 127 00:05:55,793 --> 00:05:58,343 It seems to be sort of stuck. 128 00:05:58,413 --> 00:05:59,793 [ groaning] 129 00:05:59,862 --> 00:06:01,586 I love you! 130 00:06:01,654 --> 00:06:02,862 [ gurgling] 131 00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:04,172 Ooh! 132 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:05,964 [ coughing] 133 00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:09,964 Run program "Kif colon slash slash three." 134 00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:11,343 [ whirring] 135 00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:12,964 [ wind blowing] 136 00:06:13,033 --> 00:06:14,310 AMY: This isn't bad. 137 00:06:14,379 --> 00:06:16,206 My aunt had a place like this. 138 00:06:16,274 --> 00:06:19,586 Amy, we could live in a bus station bathroom for all I care. 139 00:06:19,654 --> 00:06:23,206 As long as we're together, it'll feel like a castle to me. 140 00:06:23,274 --> 00:06:27,516 Kif, I'd love to live with you... someday. 141 00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:29,862 But before then, there's still lots 142 00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:31,550 I want to do on my own. 143 00:06:31,620 --> 00:06:33,586 [ creaking and static] 144 00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,206 What was that? 145 00:06:35,274 --> 00:06:38,103 Oh, dear. I fear the Holo-Shed might be broken again. 146 00:06:38,172 --> 00:06:41,274 Well, as long as we don't cross paths with Attila the... 147 00:06:41,343 --> 00:06:43,033 [ Attila roars] 148 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:44,550 [ Kif sighs] 149 00:06:44,620 --> 00:06:47,000 AMY: Look... Spirit! 150 00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,447 [ loud, horrific neighing] 151 00:06:48,516 --> 00:06:50,103 KIF: And there's Professor Moriarty. 152 00:06:50,172 --> 00:06:51,689 Jack the Ripper. 153 00:06:51,757 --> 00:06:53,206 Evil Lincoln. 154 00:06:53,274 --> 00:06:55,172 [ evil laughter] 155 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:56,481 Right-o, gents. 156 00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:59,896 It's another simulation gone mad, so murder and mayhem. 157 00:06:59,965 --> 00:07:01,343 Standard procedure. 158 00:07:01,413 --> 00:07:04,033 [ wild yelling] 159 00:07:06,033 --> 00:07:11,000 Real holographic simulated evil Lincoln is back! 160 00:07:11,067 --> 00:07:13,586 [ grunts] 161 00:07:13,654 --> 00:07:15,447 [ gasps][ alarm blaring] 162 00:07:17,550 --> 00:07:19,206 [ Amy whimpering] 163 00:07:19,274 --> 00:07:20,964 The Holo-Shed's on the fritz again. 164 00:07:21,033 --> 00:07:22,550 The characters turned real! 165 00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:24,206 Damn! The last time that happened 166 00:07:24,274 --> 00:07:26,516 I got slapped with three paternity suits. 167 00:07:26,586 --> 00:07:28,930 [ fierce neighing] 168 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,516 Oh, my God!I want Daddy! 169 00:07:30,586 --> 00:07:33,033 Listen up, history's greatest villains. 170 00:07:33,103 --> 00:07:36,379 Get back into the Holo-Shed before I start blasting 171 00:07:36,447 --> 00:07:37,413 Stop! 172 00:07:37,481 --> 00:07:40,172 No shoot fire-stick in space canoe! 173 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,757 Cause explosive decompression! 174 00:07:42,826 --> 00:07:47,413 Spare me your space-age techno-babble, Attila the Hun. 175 00:07:47,481 --> 00:07:49,310 [ zapping] 176 00:07:49,379 --> 00:07:51,793 [ screaming] 177 00:07:54,862 --> 00:07:57,723 [ screaming] 178 00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:04,586 Hey...! 179 00:08:04,654 --> 00:08:06,586 Kif, hold on! 180 00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:07,930 I totally want to! 181 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:08,862 [ gasps] 182 00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:11,654 [ grunting and groaning] 183 00:08:11,723 --> 00:08:12,723 [ yells] 184 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:13,793 Grab on! 185 00:08:13,862 --> 00:08:14,862 Over here! 186 00:08:14,930 --> 00:08:16,723 Please hold me. Oh, dear. 187 00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:18,000 Have a good one. 188 00:08:18,067 --> 00:08:19,757 [ screaming] 189 00:08:20,964 --> 00:08:22,586 Ow! Oh... 190 00:08:22,654 --> 00:08:24,240 [ grunts and groans] 191 00:08:24,310 --> 00:08:25,516 Aw, man! 192 00:08:25,586 --> 00:08:29,310 Whew! After all that, I could use some relaxation. 193 00:08:29,379 --> 00:08:31,413 I'll be in the Holo-Shed. 194 00:08:38,654 --> 00:08:41,240 [ whirring] 195 00:08:41,309 --> 00:08:43,517 Well, except for a few broken bones 196 00:08:43,586 --> 00:08:45,206 some internal hemorrhaging 197 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:47,240 and a partially barfed-up heart 198 00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:48,861 everyone appears fine. 199 00:08:48,931 --> 00:08:50,206 ALL: Whew! 200 00:08:50,274 --> 00:08:52,586 Oh, and Kif is pregnant. 201 00:08:52,654 --> 00:08:53,861 [ gasps] 202 00:08:53,931 --> 00:08:55,102 [ all gasping] 203 00:08:55,172 --> 00:08:57,861 Oh, joy! 204 00:09:03,724 --> 00:09:05,447 Amy, isn't it wonderful? 205 00:09:05,517 --> 00:09:06,654 I'm pregnant. 206 00:09:06,724 --> 00:09:08,688 Yes... it's great. 207 00:09:08,758 --> 00:09:10,620 A great miracle. 208 00:09:10,688 --> 00:09:12,586 And not one of those bogus everyday miracles 209 00:09:12,654 --> 00:09:13,793 like a sunrise. 210 00:09:13,861 --> 00:09:15,206 Aren't you a male? 211 00:09:15,274 --> 00:09:16,379 Yeah, what's the deal? 212 00:09:16,447 --> 00:09:17,517 Just when I thought 213 00:09:17,586 --> 00:09:19,172 I figured out you biological creatures 214 00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:20,413 it's something else! 215 00:09:20,481 --> 00:09:21,861 Let me at him! 216 00:09:21,931 --> 00:09:23,688 I'm going to take... 217 00:09:23,758 --> 00:09:24,861 [ Bender grunting] 218 00:09:24,931 --> 00:09:26,481 Look, I'm sure we're all 219 00:09:26,551 --> 00:09:29,413 a little unclear on how anyone gets pregnant 220 00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,136 so, Kif, pray explain 221 00:09:31,206 --> 00:09:34,000 and don't spare the dirty words where appropriate. 222 00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:36,033 Well, it's quite simple, really. 223 00:09:36,102 --> 00:09:37,517 When one of my species 224 00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:39,654 experiences deep feelings of love 225 00:09:39,724 --> 00:09:42,586 we enter a so-called "receptive state." 226 00:09:42,654 --> 00:09:45,033 You disgust me. Go on. 227 00:09:45,102 --> 00:09:46,274 At that point 228 00:09:46,344 --> 00:09:48,965 our skin becomes a semi-permeable membrane 229 00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:51,861 which allows the passage of genetic material. 230 00:09:51,931 --> 00:09:55,379 I held Amy's hand, and voila. 231 00:09:55,447 --> 00:09:58,931 Well, okay, but that better be all there is. 232 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,895 Oh, Amy, you'll be a mother! 233 00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:08,793 What a wondrous affirmation of our love 234 00:10:08,861 --> 00:10:11,000 and all from the touch of your hand. 235 00:10:11,067 --> 00:10:12,413 [ giggling] 236 00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:13,793 Dude, hold up. 237 00:10:13,861 --> 00:10:15,413 Remember when Zapp blew a hole in the ship? 238 00:10:15,481 --> 00:10:16,724 Indeed. 239 00:10:16,793 --> 00:10:18,172 FRY: Kif touched everybody there. 240 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:20,102 Couldn't any one of us be the mother? 241 00:10:20,172 --> 00:10:21,413 Hey, yeah! 242 00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:23,067 I mean, what about that, Kif? 243 00:10:23,136 --> 00:10:25,895 Well, I suppose I might have gotten pregnant that way 244 00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:28,067 or even from a toilet seat 245 00:10:28,136 --> 00:10:31,826 though that's impossible since I have a private washroom. 246 00:10:31,895 --> 00:10:33,102 [ toilet flushes] 247 00:10:33,172 --> 00:10:34,826 Ah, my home away from home. 248 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,172 By the way, Kif 249 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,379 your flush seems to be set on "stun" not "kill." 250 00:10:39,447 --> 00:10:42,551 [ nervous stuttering] 251 00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:45,067 Look, Kif, I probably am the mother 252 00:10:45,136 --> 00:10:46,895 although maybe I'm not. 253 00:10:46,965 --> 00:10:48,379 Of course, I hope I am 254 00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:51,620 but just in case I'm not, maybe we should have a test. 255 00:10:51,688 --> 00:10:52,688 A test! 256 00:10:52,758 --> 00:10:54,688 I demand a test! 257 00:10:58,654 --> 00:11:00,447 Even I laughed at me 258 00:11:00,517 --> 00:11:04,240 when I built this alien cross-species genetic analyzer 259 00:11:04,309 --> 00:11:06,586 but I guess I showed myself. 260 00:11:06,654 --> 00:11:09,758 Subjects, please enter the chamber. 261 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:17,067 Now to take a DNA sample. 262 00:11:20,136 --> 00:11:21,447 [ inhales deeply] 263 00:11:25,724 --> 00:11:27,344 When I pull this switch 264 00:11:27,413 --> 00:11:30,586 the maternifuge will spin at 10,000 RPM 265 00:11:30,654 --> 00:11:34,102 separating out everyone who isn't the mother... 266 00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:37,620 father... whatever. 267 00:11:37,688 --> 00:11:40,379 [ all screaming] 268 00:11:43,826 --> 00:11:45,274 Faster, faster! 269 00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:58,895 Good! Fry's ejection indicates that he is not the man-mama. 270 00:11:58,965 --> 00:12:00,758 [ grunting] 271 00:12:02,517 --> 00:12:04,309 Nor is Captain Brannigan. 272 00:12:04,379 --> 00:12:06,033 Oh, thank you, merciful God. 273 00:12:06,102 --> 00:12:07,620 [ grunts] 274 00:12:07,688 --> 00:12:12,000 Zoidberg? What the hell were you doing in there? 275 00:12:12,067 --> 00:12:13,620 That's where I live. 276 00:12:13,688 --> 00:12:15,309 I have no home. 277 00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:21,517 [ scream] 278 00:12:23,136 --> 00:12:25,654 Amy? But that means... 279 00:12:33,206 --> 00:12:35,033 Leela must have impregnated me 280 00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:37,067 when she grabbed my ungloved hand. 281 00:12:37,136 --> 00:12:39,379 That explains the poster in hygiene class-- 282 00:12:39,447 --> 00:12:41,481 "No glove, no love." 283 00:12:41,551 --> 00:12:44,240 Wow, this is all so confusing. 284 00:12:44,309 --> 00:12:46,136 Leela, how could you? 285 00:12:46,206 --> 00:12:48,654 Our love has had to endure your constant hatred 286 00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,000 and now this? 287 00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:52,481 Stop testing our love! 288 00:12:52,551 --> 00:12:54,551 Oh, please, Captain. 289 00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:57,309 I thank Leela for the DNA she gave me 290 00:12:57,379 --> 00:12:58,758 but in my species 291 00:12:58,826 --> 00:13:00,206 the true parent is the one 292 00:13:00,274 --> 00:13:02,793 who inspired the initial feeling of love. 293 00:13:02,861 --> 00:13:05,344 We call that person the smizmar 294 00:13:05,413 --> 00:13:08,931 and my smizmar is Amy. 295 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,136 So the toilet seat is like the uncle or something? 296 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,517 Sorry I got your boyfriend pregnant. 297 00:13:16,586 --> 00:13:18,206 That's okay. 298 00:13:18,274 --> 00:13:20,067 At least Kif's baby shower should be fun. 299 00:13:20,136 --> 00:13:22,172 I better put it on my calendar. 300 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,240 Thursday, baby shower. Enter. 301 00:13:27,758 --> 00:13:29,724 Might as well plan for my new life while I'm at it. 302 00:13:29,793 --> 00:13:31,793 Set motherhood mode. 303 00:13:39,274 --> 00:13:41,551 To motherhood. 304 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,895 [ chugging noises] 305 00:13:53,344 --> 00:13:56,758 Mom, Dad, I know this is weird, but... 306 00:13:56,826 --> 00:14:00,102 Yeah, yeah, we don't care how squishy alien get pregnant. 307 00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:02,309 All we care is that we have grandchild now. 308 00:14:02,379 --> 00:14:04,481 You're very open-minded, Mrs. Wong. 309 00:14:04,551 --> 00:14:06,067 Hey, you call her Grandma now. 310 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,274 Call me Grandma like crazy. 311 00:14:07,344 --> 00:14:08,654 All the time. 312 00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:10,309 Check it out, y'all. 313 00:14:10,379 --> 00:14:12,206 Everyone we invited is here... 314 00:14:12,274 --> 00:14:13,688 Also Zoidberg! 315 00:14:13,758 --> 00:14:15,172 ...so let's open the gifts! 316 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,136 [ cheering] 317 00:14:17,206 --> 00:14:20,481 We'll start with this one from Bender. 318 00:14:25,379 --> 00:14:27,102 It's my booties from when I was a kid. 319 00:14:27,172 --> 00:14:29,413 Uh, they're already bronzed. 320 00:14:29,481 --> 00:14:30,654 They arebronze. 321 00:14:30,724 --> 00:14:32,826 And this one's from Leela. 322 00:14:32,895 --> 00:14:35,102 Oh, I just love the bow. 323 00:14:35,172 --> 00:14:36,895 I wonder what it is. 324 00:14:36,965 --> 00:14:39,344 Yes, I wonder what wegot you. 325 00:14:39,413 --> 00:14:40,517 [ grunts] 326 00:14:40,586 --> 00:14:42,309 It's a basket. 327 00:14:42,379 --> 00:14:44,379 For picnics? 328 00:14:44,447 --> 00:14:45,965 It means a lot to me. 329 00:14:46,033 --> 00:14:47,758 It's the basket my parents left me in 330 00:14:47,826 --> 00:14:49,102 at the orphanarium. 331 00:14:49,172 --> 00:14:51,136 You could use it for picnics. 332 00:14:51,206 --> 00:14:52,172 Here, Amy. 333 00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:53,481 We get this one for you. 334 00:14:53,551 --> 00:14:55,551 Oh, is it a new party-board? 335 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,344 It's a board, all right. 336 00:14:58,413 --> 00:14:59,965 An ironing board. 337 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:02,309 We had your old party-board converted 338 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:04,654 now that you not be partying anymore. 339 00:15:04,724 --> 00:15:07,447 You-you trashed my party-board? 340 00:15:07,517 --> 00:15:08,620 Damn right. 341 00:15:08,688 --> 00:15:10,793 Now you a mom, the only surfing you do 342 00:15:10,861 --> 00:15:13,136 is under a big wave of responsibility. 343 00:15:13,206 --> 00:15:16,447 Oh, this is the happiest moment of my life. 344 00:15:16,517 --> 00:15:18,688 You all brought such wonderful gifts 345 00:15:18,758 --> 00:15:20,724 but the greatest gift... 346 00:15:20,793 --> 00:15:21,379 Mine! 347 00:15:21,447 --> 00:15:22,688 ...is the bond 348 00:15:22,758 --> 00:15:24,688 I share with my smizmar, Amy 349 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,826 for soon, the quivering mass of life within me 350 00:15:27,895 --> 00:15:30,136 will depend upon us both. 351 00:15:30,206 --> 00:15:32,067 Even now, I can sense it 352 00:15:32,136 --> 00:15:35,793 feeding, squirming, searching, questing 353 00:15:35,861 --> 00:15:39,309 and shortly, it will rend my loins in twain 354 00:15:39,379 --> 00:15:43,481 burst forth and pull us down, down, down 355 00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:46,102 into the deep, dark waters of commitment. 356 00:15:46,172 --> 00:15:48,309 That's so beautiful. 357 00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:49,895 [ sniffling] 358 00:15:49,965 --> 00:15:52,551 Yes, it's... it's... 359 00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:53,895 [ sobbing] 360 00:15:53,965 --> 00:15:56,240 No, I can't do this! 361 00:15:58,895 --> 00:16:01,033 [ all gasping] 362 00:16:01,102 --> 00:16:04,033 [ infant-like crying] 363 00:16:10,895 --> 00:16:13,136 Oh, how could Amy leave me? 364 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:15,481 When will women learn to take responsibility 365 00:16:15,551 --> 00:16:17,551 for the children they've helped create? 366 00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,000 [ gurgling] 367 00:16:19,067 --> 00:16:20,344 The quickening! 368 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,965 My time is near! 369 00:16:22,033 --> 00:16:23,620 I must return to my homeworld 370 00:16:23,688 --> 00:16:25,826 to perform the ancient birthing rites. 371 00:16:25,895 --> 00:16:28,274 Let me know how that turns out. 372 00:16:48,274 --> 00:16:51,136 I must now embark on a perilous journey 373 00:16:51,206 --> 00:16:53,481 to give birth in precisely the same swamp 374 00:16:53,551 --> 00:16:54,965 in which I was born. 375 00:16:55,033 --> 00:16:57,206 If it's so dangerous, I'd better go with you. 376 00:16:57,274 --> 00:16:59,379 A gal has to protect her DNA. 377 00:16:59,447 --> 00:17:00,654 No, Leela. 378 00:17:00,724 --> 00:17:02,033 Tradition demands that 379 00:17:02,102 --> 00:17:04,067 I make this journey with my smizmar 380 00:17:04,136 --> 00:17:07,931 and since Amy isn't here, I must go it alone. 381 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,309 Farewell, for we may never meet again. 382 00:17:14,964 --> 00:17:16,689 [ grunts] 383 00:17:16,758 --> 00:17:19,862 My scrapes feel a little better now. 384 00:17:19,931 --> 00:17:22,862 [ grunting] 385 00:17:22,931 --> 00:17:25,550 Hey, what's this fat, ugly thing? 386 00:17:25,619 --> 00:17:28,205 A frog, a toad, or yo' mama? 387 00:17:28,275 --> 00:17:30,240 [ laughing] 388 00:17:31,413 --> 00:17:32,931 [ muffled screaming] 389 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,481 It's a poisonous froad! 390 00:17:34,550 --> 00:17:35,862 No one move. 391 00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:37,550 [ inhaling deeply] 392 00:17:39,862 --> 00:17:41,034 [ squeals] 393 00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:45,034 I'm back, baby. 394 00:17:45,103 --> 00:17:47,895 [ bubbling] 395 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:54,517 Behold... 396 00:17:54,586 --> 00:17:57,826 the sacred ancestral birthing grounds of my family. 397 00:17:57,895 --> 00:17:59,000 [ sniffing] 398 00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,862 Smells like a jockstrap. 399 00:18:05,309 --> 00:18:08,517 I am the Grand Midwife! 400 00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:09,378 Hi. 401 00:18:09,448 --> 00:18:11,862 I am Kif, of the clan Kroker 402 00:18:11,931 --> 00:18:13,862 come to bear my young. 403 00:18:13,931 --> 00:18:16,689 Then let the tea of new life be brewed. 404 00:18:16,758 --> 00:18:18,309 As it is writ 405 00:18:18,378 --> 00:18:22,205 "And both shall lift the jug together." 406 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:23,654 Where is your smizmar? 407 00:18:23,723 --> 00:18:25,309 She is not with me. 408 00:18:25,378 --> 00:18:27,034 Oh, the sorrow! 409 00:18:27,103 --> 00:18:29,689 Oh, the shame! 410 00:18:29,758 --> 00:18:32,205 I'm sorry. I'm probably just making you feel worse. 411 00:18:32,275 --> 00:18:34,654 As long as Amy is with me in my heart 412 00:18:34,723 --> 00:18:37,205 I will have the strength of two. 413 00:18:37,275 --> 00:18:40,517 [ strained grunting] 414 00:18:41,826 --> 00:18:45,792 Apparently Amy hasn't been working out much lately. 415 00:18:50,931 --> 00:18:53,034 As the tea boils 416 00:18:53,103 --> 00:18:56,034 please join hands with your beloved smizmar. 417 00:18:57,448 --> 00:18:58,826 Oh, right. 418 00:18:58,895 --> 00:19:00,964 Sorry, but I've memorized the ceremony by rote 419 00:19:01,034 --> 00:19:02,205 and it mentions her a lot. 420 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,619 I'll try to endure. 421 00:19:03,689 --> 00:19:04,862 Good, 'cause I'm not changing it. 422 00:19:04,931 --> 00:19:06,723 Now turn, ye two 423 00:19:06,792 --> 00:19:09,931 and gaze deeply into each other's eyes. 424 00:19:11,413 --> 00:19:12,481 What are you looking at? 425 00:19:12,550 --> 00:19:15,826 May the love I sense between you at this moment 426 00:19:15,895 --> 00:19:19,481 remain with you both through all your days. 427 00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:21,689 [ sobbing] 428 00:19:21,758 --> 00:19:25,275 The tea of new life is ready. 429 00:19:25,344 --> 00:19:28,103 Let those whose love created this life 430 00:19:28,172 --> 00:19:31,103 speak each other's names, then drink. 431 00:19:35,862 --> 00:19:37,654 [ quietly]: Amy. 432 00:19:37,723 --> 00:19:39,344 AMY: Kif! 433 00:19:41,378 --> 00:19:43,723 [ all gasping] 434 00:19:43,792 --> 00:19:46,481 Amy, is it you or have I gone crazy with loneliness? 435 00:19:46,550 --> 00:19:47,689 Both! 436 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,448 [ squeals] 437 00:19:51,517 --> 00:19:53,758 I still don't know if I'm ready for this 438 00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:55,723 but I do know I love you 439 00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:57,689 and I want to be here beside you. 440 00:19:57,758 --> 00:19:59,240 Great, now I lost my place. 441 00:19:59,309 --> 00:20:00,826 I'm starting over. 442 00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:02,413 Oh, no time. 443 00:20:02,481 --> 00:20:03,689 It is begun. 444 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,136 [ pained moaning] 445 00:20:10,895 --> 00:20:13,481 [ squishing noises] 446 00:20:13,550 --> 00:20:14,758 Ew. 447 00:20:14,826 --> 00:20:16,240 Neat! 448 00:20:16,309 --> 00:20:17,964 You can do it, Kif. 449 00:20:18,034 --> 00:20:20,103 [ moaning] 450 00:20:20,172 --> 00:20:22,895 Ooh, nilly! 451 00:20:22,964 --> 00:20:25,205 [ groaning] 452 00:20:27,964 --> 00:20:29,619 [ liquid whoosh] 453 00:20:29,689 --> 00:20:30,895 [ gasping] 454 00:20:33,034 --> 00:20:34,378 Oh, man! 455 00:20:40,792 --> 00:20:42,205 Amy, my love, tell me-- 456 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,275 are they making it to the water? 457 00:20:49,964 --> 00:20:51,136 Amy! 458 00:20:51,205 --> 00:20:52,758 Shoo! 459 00:20:52,826 --> 00:20:54,550 Stay away from my babies! 460 00:21:05,034 --> 00:21:07,619 The birthing is complete. 461 00:21:07,689 --> 00:21:08,862 [ cheering] 462 00:21:08,931 --> 00:21:10,205 Oh, thank goodness. 463 00:21:10,275 --> 00:21:12,586 I will now take my leave. 464 00:21:12,654 --> 00:21:15,309 I live here, so I won't actually be going anywhere 465 00:21:15,378 --> 00:21:18,378 but you don't have to talk to me anymore. 466 00:21:18,448 --> 00:21:20,240 Congratulations!Nice work. 467 00:21:20,309 --> 00:21:21,413 Way to go, squishy! 468 00:21:23,826 --> 00:21:25,619 LEELA: There goes my DNA. 469 00:21:25,689 --> 00:21:27,895 What a disgusting and beautiful process. 470 00:21:27,964 --> 00:21:30,000 That's birth for you. 471 00:21:30,067 --> 00:21:32,654 Well, we've given them a great start, Amy 472 00:21:32,723 --> 00:21:34,931 and in 20 years they'll sprout legs 473 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,931 and crawl back onto land as children. 474 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,826 I'll be ready then.