1
00:00:32,865 --> 00:00:37,204
FARNSWORTH:
Oh, Lordy Lou! Help!

2
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:39,207
Ooh! Ah!

3
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,575
( shouting ):
I know you've rejected me
a lot before

4
00:00:41,674 --> 00:00:42,810
but frankly,
I wasn't sure

5
00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:44,545
we were right
for each other, either.

6
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:48,115
But now I am,
so how about a date tonight?

7
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:51,719
Sorry, I think I, uh,
I think I left my toaster on.

8
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,220
FARNSWORTH:
Buddha! Zeus!

9
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,490
God! One of you guys
do something!

10
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,826
Come on, Leela.

11
00:00:58,926 --> 00:01:00,993
What's the real reason
you won't go out with me?

12
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:03,996
Help, Satan, you owe me!

13
00:01:04,097 --> 00:01:06,766
Look, um, I'm embarrassed
to admit this

14
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:08,801
but you've forced me to.

15
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,570
I can't go out tonight
because...

16
00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:11,671
( yelling stops )

17
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:14,507
I have sweaty boot rash!

18
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,176
No spluh.
Why do you think

19
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:18,978
I'm sitting over here
in the stink-free zone?

20
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:19,980
( laughs )

21
00:01:20,079 --> 00:01:22,182
So, will you go out
with me?

22
00:01:22,283 --> 00:01:23,984
Good news, everyone.

23
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,653
I'm still technically alive.
Yes.

24
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:31,024
But I need you to dispose
of this crazy-ass experiment

25
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:32,926
that almost killed me.

26
00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:35,528
You'll have to throw it
into the sun itself

27
00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:38,632
for only the thermonuclear
inferno of the sun

28
00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:42,203
has enough energy to ensure
its total destruction.

29
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:43,704
I could hit it with a shovel.

30
00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:45,004
That's not good enough.

31
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:46,539
This one time, I pounded a guy

32
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,876
into the ground
like a stake with a shovel.

33
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:49,877
Yes, yes.

34
00:01:49,977 --> 00:01:51,878
So what's in
the box already?

35
00:01:51,978 --> 00:01:52,979
No peeking!

36
00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:54,847
( gasping )

37
00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,849
I don't know
what's in there

38
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,186
but I'm sure

39
00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:01,188
our minds would be unable
to comprehend it.

40
00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:03,524
Oh! You hurt my collator!

41
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:04,825
I don't care.

42
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:06,025
Listen well.

43
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,694
No matter what happens

44
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:10,198
no matter how great
your curiosity

45
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:13,032
you are forbidden
to look in this box.

46
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,568
Forbidden!

47
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:17,538
Pretty tantalizing, though.

48
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,173
FRYE:
Whatever's in there

49
00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:21,175
it's the only thing
I've ever wanted.

50
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:23,811
In my experience,
boxes are usually empty

51
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:26,813
or maybe with a little cheese
stuck to the top

52
00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,915
and one time, pepperoni.

53
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:30,850
What a day that was!

54
00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:32,051
( warbling scream )

55
00:02:32,151 --> 00:02:33,387
Give me the box!

56
00:02:34,354 --> 00:02:37,057
Scram, you lousy
green snakes!

57
00:02:37,156 --> 00:02:38,925
( all yelling )

58
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:40,026
Here, Leela, take this

59
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:41,329
and use it to shoot
those guys.

60
00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:42,362
Right.

61
00:02:42,462 --> 00:02:44,865
If they try to look in the box.

62
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:45,899
Whatever.

63
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:48,100
Let's just forget
about the box.

64
00:02:48,201 --> 00:02:49,402
The Professor said
to stay away.

65
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:52,372
Fry, how can you
be so naive?

66
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:54,608
He was joking.
Get it?

67
00:02:54,707 --> 00:02:55,876
No.

68
00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:58,512
That's what
makes it so funny.

69
00:02:58,611 --> 00:03:00,548
( laughs )

70
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,049
Okay, he wasn't joking.

71
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,016
Now shut up and follow me.

72
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:07,621
( hissing )

73
00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:11,191
FRY:
Oh, it's hot.

74
00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,426
The cream cheese in my pocket
is melting.

75
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:22,270
( whirring )

76
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,038
( whirring )

77
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:29,610
( snoring )

78
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,079
( chuckles )

79
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,051
( whirring )

80
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:45,793
We thank you, Bender

81
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:48,094
for the gift
we're about to receive.

82
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:52,466
( both gasp )

83
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,067
Tangled-up Christmas lights.

84
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:55,836
We can take shifts
untangling them.

85
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:57,305
And unlabeled booze.

86
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,139
Wide mouth, too.

87
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:03,443
( grunting )

88
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,679
That ought to keep
those dopes occupied.

89
00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:08,147
I can guard the real box
in peace

90
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:10,350
now that no one's
curious about it.

91
00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:16,956
( humming )

92
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,197
( forced humming )

93
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,612
Well, I got through the night
and no one looked in the box--

94
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:43,016
not even me, the person
who gave up her whole evening

95
00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:44,183
to watch it.

96
00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:46,052
A whole evening of TV gone.

97
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,954
What a mockery of justice

98
00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:51,024
that I can't take
even a little tiny peek.

99
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,024
( sighs )

100
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,192
I need coffee.

101
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,233
Okay, heads-- I look.

102
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:02,336
Tails-- I don't.

103
00:05:05,505 --> 00:05:07,740
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! Heads!

104
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:10,076
I mean, all right, then.

105
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,348
No. I have a duty not to look.

106
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:18,218
Then again, I promised
the coin I would.

107
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:23,356
Oh, it's deep.

108
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:26,394
Deeper than a small box
should be.

109
00:05:26,494 --> 00:05:28,862
( yells )

110
00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:30,197
( grunts )

111
00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:32,500
Ouch! My lawyer
will hear about this.

112
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,567
( door opens )

113
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,935
FRY:
Leela, what have you done?

114
00:05:35,034 --> 00:05:36,370
Nothing.

115
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:38,271
What do you mean,
why was I looking in the box?

116
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,908
I meant you hair.
It's all differenty.

117
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,411
Bender, is that you?

118
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,745
You know it.
Large and in charge.

119
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:48,348
Leela? Oh...

120
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:49,783
There's a woman for you.

121
00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:51,183
Always dyeing her hair

122
00:05:51,283 --> 00:05:53,220
instead of not
looking in a box.

123
00:05:53,319 --> 00:05:54,588
I didn't dye my hair.

124
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,255
This is how I always look.

125
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:58,759
No, that's how you always look.

126
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:02,362
( both gasp )

127
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:06,733
This throws my entire perception
of reality into question.

128
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:09,970
Clone, robot
or long-lost twin?

129
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:11,370
Taking all bets.

130
00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:14,106
I also offer video poker.

131
00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:20,047
It's some guy wearing
a Leela costume.

132
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:21,213
Get him.

133
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:22,649
Hold it.

134
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,485
You have this all wrong.

135
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:25,819
I just fell into the box

136
00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:27,487
and then I fell out somehow.

137
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:28,822
You shut up, sir.

138
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:30,658
No, wait. I've got it.

139
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,793
I know what's in the box.

140
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,327
Oh, I've been as dumb as Fry.

141
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,463
Am not.

142
00:06:36,564 --> 00:06:39,832
It contains
a parallel universe

143
00:06:39,932 --> 00:06:41,634
and when you create

144
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:46,973
a parallel universe, it's almost
always populated by evil twins.

145
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,841
Now look, I am not evil.

146
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,744
My loan officer said so.

147
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:53,180
Oh, you'd like us
to believe that

148
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,814
wouldn't you, Leela?

149
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,683
Or should I say,
Evilla?!

150
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:58,685
Aw, this is awful.

151
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:01,754
Somewhere there's
a more evil Bender than me.

152
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,355
I do my best, damn it!

153
00:07:03,456 --> 00:07:05,492
Leela-- the
good Leela--

154
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,127
I want you
to snoop

155
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,829
around the other universe

156
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,963
and find out
how evil they are.

157
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:13,266
Here.

158
00:07:13,365 --> 00:07:15,168
I tell you, they're not evil

159
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,838
but don't be confused--
they are jerks.

160
00:07:17,937 --> 00:07:18,838
( grunts )

161
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,774
ZOIDBERG:
Hello.

162
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:23,511
( martial arts yell )

163
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:26,379
Come out of your universe
with your hands up.

164
00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,120
Oh, wow, it's like
that drug trip

165
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:34,187
I saw in that movie

166
00:07:34,286 --> 00:07:35,723
when I was on
that drug trip.

167
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,490
Astonishing!

168
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,992
I must have created
a parallel universe.

169
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,360
Baldercrap!

170
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,230
I created your universe.

171
00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:47,033
All you created was
my fist parallel
to your face.

172
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,168
Ow.

173
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,571
Look, it doesn't matter
who created what.

174
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,172
The important thing is...

175
00:07:52,271 --> 00:07:53,406
( martial arts yell )

176
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,143
...we're exactly
the same.

177
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,711
I know all her moves.

178
00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,379
Therefore, I've got
the upper hand.

179
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:01,915
BOTH:
Ow!

180
00:08:02,014 --> 00:08:05,485
Now, now, perfectly
symmetrical violence

181
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,420
never solved anything.

182
00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:10,824
Let's recap what's happened
so far.

183
00:08:12,425 --> 00:08:15,095
As you can see,
I accidentally created

184
00:08:15,194 --> 00:08:17,329
a box containing
your universe.

185
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:20,199
While I, in
a simultaneous blunder

186
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,235
created a box containing
your universe.

187
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,872
This is getting confusing.

188
00:08:24,971 --> 00:08:27,406
Why don't we call
our universe "Universe A"

189
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,242
and this universe
"Universe B"?

190
00:08:29,341 --> 00:08:31,043
Hey, why can't
we be "Universe A"?

191
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,044
Yeah!

192
00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:34,181
Yeah!
It's the
best letter!

193
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,347
We called it first.

194
00:08:35,447 --> 00:08:36,850
Besides, this place
kind of feels

195
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,018
like a "B," you know?

196
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,754
All right, you can be
crummy "Universe A"

197
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,623
and we'll be
"Universe One."

198
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:43,923
Or "The Mongooses."

199
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,524
That's a cool
team name.

200
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,193
"The Fighting Mongooses."

201
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:48,227
Wait a second.

202
00:08:48,327 --> 00:08:49,897
If everyone is identical

203
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:52,264
why did our Leela look
into the box

204
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,734
and your Leela didn't?

205
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:56,536
Well, to be honest,
I tossed a coin.

206
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:58,270
It came up tails,
so I didn't look.

207
00:08:58,370 --> 00:08:59,438
That's weird.

208
00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:01,408
Mine came up heads,
so I did.

209
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,875
Interesting.

210
00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:05,913
Apparently, the
key difference
between our universes

211
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,315
is that coin flips have
opposite outcomes.

212
00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:10,283
That explains
Fruity here.

213
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,919
I tossed a coin
to pick my finish.

214
00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,254
Foghat Gray.

215
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:17,090
Hey, bite my glorious
golden ass.

216
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,726
You people and your
slight differences disgust me.

217
00:09:19,826 --> 00:09:20,961
I'm going home.

218
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,096
Where's that blue box
with our universe in it?

219
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,798
Oh, you'd like
to get back

220
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,100
to your evil universe,
wouldn't you

221
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:31,337
and destroy your box
with our universe inside it?

222
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:32,504
Nonsense.

223
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:34,173
I would never do such a thing

224
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,277
unless you were already having
been going to do that.

225
00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:38,477
Wha...?

226
00:09:38,577 --> 00:09:39,613
You heard me.

227
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:41,581
In any case,
I've hidden the box

228
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,182
and it will remain hidden

229
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,351
until I'm convinced
you're not evil.

230
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:48,655
Everyone, keep an eye
on your evil counterpart.

231
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:50,322
And you all do the same.

232
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,826
Um, can Fry and I watch
our parallel selves together?

233
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,261
We have plans tonight.

234
00:09:55,361 --> 00:09:56,996
You guys are dating?

235
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,331
Oh, no, no.

236
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,332
We're married.

237
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:08,541
I got my eye
on you, boy.

238
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:10,644
Don't even think
about it, lunch pail.

239
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,846
You'd be dead before
you hit the ground.

240
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,181
Good point.

241
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,482
What do you say
we just hit a strip joint?

242
00:10:16,582 --> 00:10:18,518
I was waiting
for one of us
to say that.

243
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,352
( both cheering )

244
00:10:20,452 --> 00:10:22,889
Bender A, you're a
prince among robots.

245
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:25,524
Can you forgive me
for distrusting you?

246
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:29,495
Aw, I can't stay mad at
what is essentially me.

247
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:30,798
I love me.

248
00:10:31,831 --> 00:10:34,167
( both chuckling )

249
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:37,070
This is so great!

250
00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:39,405
I always wanted
an imaginary friend.

251
00:10:39,505 --> 00:10:41,508
I'm not imaginary;
I'm parallel.

252
00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:44,411
We're exactly the same,
right down to the...

253
00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:47,514
Splech! Is that
pink nail polish?

254
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,548
Is that not
pink nail polish?

255
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:52,351
The Professor's right--
you a evil...

256
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,187
and shallow.

257
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,188
I am not evil.

258
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:02,028
So, Fry, Leela,
how'd you two get together?

259
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,263
Funny story.

260
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,097
I asked Leela out
a million times

261
00:11:05,197 --> 00:11:06,899
but she just kept
rejecting me.

262
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,702
I'd make up stuff like
"I have sweaty boot rash"

263
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,571
or "I have to meet
the President."

264
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,206
( chuckling )

265
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,508
Oh, man,
you never heard such excuses

266
00:11:15,607 --> 00:11:17,509
but, like a dope,
I believed her.

267
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,113
Looking back on it now,
it's kind of funny.

268
00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:21,514
It sure is.

269
00:11:21,614 --> 00:11:22,581
Right, Leela?

270
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:23,917
Funny. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

271
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,952
Then one night, when
Fry asked me out

272
00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:28,520
the only excuse
I could think of
involved ghosts.

273
00:11:28,620 --> 00:11:29,889
I knew he wouldn't buy it.

274
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,359
So, I did what I always
do in those situations.

275
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:33,525
Oh, Lord.

276
00:11:33,625 --> 00:11:34,861
I flipped a coin.

277
00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:37,197
It came up heads
and we went out.

278
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,966
You mean, you
flipped a coin, too

279
00:11:39,066 --> 00:11:40,299
and it was tails?

280
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:42,870
So, that's why you said
you had to meet that ghost.

281
00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:45,304
You really missed out
on something, Leela.

282
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:46,706
That date was magical.

283
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,308
One year later, I gave Leela
a diamond scrunchy

284
00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:50,409
and we were married.

285
00:11:50,509 --> 00:11:51,879
Ooh...

286
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:55,447
One year later, I got beat up
at a Neil Diamond concert

287
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,049
by a guy named Scrunchy.

288
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,486
( grunting )

289
00:12:00,586 --> 00:12:01,653
( grunting )

290
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:03,123
( grunting )

291
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,557
( grunting )

292
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:05,826
Well, that
was pointless.

293
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:08,628
Say, I hope you won't
think it "evil" of me

294
00:12:08,727 --> 00:12:11,331
to ask how you got
that stylish head wound.

295
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,399
Oh, this old thing?

296
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,803
I was experimenting to see
if I could remove my own brain.

297
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:17,937
Of course.

298
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:19,306
I had the same idea.

299
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,740
I flipped a coin to decide
if I should proceed

300
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:22,975
but it came up tails.

301
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:23,976
So, I didn't.

302
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,412
How'd it go?

303
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:28,681
Well, getting
the brain out
was the easy part.

304
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:31,418
The hard part was
getting the brain out.

305
00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:32,820
( crazy laughter )

306
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,153
( chuckling ):
Oh, you.

307
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,489
( flies buzzing )

308
00:12:36,588 --> 00:12:38,691
So, tell me
about yourself.

309
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,159
Well, don't look into it

310
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,830
but I'm a respected
internal medicine doctor.

311
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,496
Ooh, a can!

312
00:12:44,596 --> 00:12:47,267
( slurping loudly )

313
00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:49,336
As for me,
I design mansions

314
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,769
then live in them.

315
00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,706
( sobbing ):
I'm lying.

316
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,808
I'm an appalling failure.

317
00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:57,845
( sobbing ):
Me, too.

318
00:12:57,945 --> 00:12:59,980
A big fat one.

319
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,480
And those coworkers--

320
00:13:01,581 --> 00:13:03,850
always looking down
on us Zoidbergs.

321
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,818
What are they,
from Nob Hill?

322
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:07,187
They're all alike--

323
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,522
"Stop spraying me
with ink, Zoidberg.

324
00:13:09,621 --> 00:13:11,158
"Put on pants, Zoidberg.

325
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:13,493
Don't touch our fancy box,
Zoidberg."

326
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:15,528
Ooh, that box!

327
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,729
Too good for us, is it?

328
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,465
Bah! Someday they'll watch

329
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:20,567
from down in the gutter,
they will

330
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:23,836
as King Zoidberg caresses
their fancy box.

331
00:13:23,937 --> 00:13:27,173
You know, maybe a certain
blue lobster saw

332
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:29,475
where Professor hid the box.

333
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:31,477
( chuckling deviously )

334
00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:34,681
( chuckling )

335
00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:38,085
Good news,
everyones.

336
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:40,820
After carefully
reading the Scriptures

337
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,690
we've concluded
that none of us are evil.

338
00:13:43,789 --> 00:13:46,525
Yes, the Bible is
the real "good news."

339
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:50,663
Anyhow, you're all free
to go back to your own universe.

340
00:13:50,763 --> 00:13:52,899
What's going on here?

341
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,534
Why aren't you all
out destroying the
Professor's box?

342
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:56,870
Hermes, aren't
you curious

343
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,005
about the fact
that there's two
of everybody?

344
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,240
No. Now, like my Granny
used to say

345
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,910
back in her tarpaper shack
on Montego Bay--

346
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,278
"If you want a box hurled
into the Sun

347
00:14:06,379 --> 00:14:07,947
you got to do it yourself."

348
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,615
Your granny can
go to hell.

349
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:12,085
I've hidden the box
so no one can destroy

350
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,854
the home universe
of my handsome
friend, here.

351
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,123
Oh, go on.

352
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:17,190
Wait a second.

353
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:18,691
If your Hermes was

354
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:21,793
about to destroy the box
containing our universe...

355
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:24,397
Then your Hermes...

356
00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:26,066
Oh, my.

357
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,034
ANNOUNCER:
And sure enough...

358
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:29,135
( Hermes humming )

359
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:31,303
Like Granny said

360
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:34,040
"If you want a box hurled
into the Sun

361
00:14:34,140 --> 00:14:35,908
you got to do it yourself."

362
00:14:36,009 --> 00:14:39,078
God rest her zombie bones.

363
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,484
LEELA B:
So we go back through the box
and stop Hermes.

364
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:47,287
Right. Good thing
Professor B there

365
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,588
hid it in
the coelacanth tank.

366
00:14:49,688 --> 00:14:51,624
No one but a crazy lobster
would look there.

367
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:54,726
It's gone!

368
00:14:54,826 --> 00:14:56,895
( radio static )

369
00:14:56,996 --> 00:14:59,298
All hail Zoidberg

370
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,667
the king with the box.

371
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:02,835
( loud smooching )

372
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:04,903
Now it's my turn maybe?

373
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:07,573
The box says no.

374
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,844
ANNOUNCER:
Meanwhile, in Universe A

375
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:16,182
Hermes A heads
toward the sun... A.

376
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,350
"Item one: box."

377
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,485
Check.

378
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,087
"Item two: sun."

379
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:22,754
( sizzling )

380
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,923
That's a big check.

381
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:43,475
If I know parallel Hermes,
he's at the sun by now.

382
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:46,278
Our universe is doomed!

383
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:49,682
Dooooomed!
Dooooomed!

384
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:52,384
Now, don't give up yet,
you crybabies.

385
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,821
The box is gone,
but we still have

386
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,889
one preposterously slim hope.

387
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,658
Is it a kind
of hair spray?

388
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:01,061
No! We must attempt to make

389
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:05,131
another box containing
our universe. Doy.

390
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:09,735
( electronic
buzzing and zapping )

391
00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:14,541
( Professors yelling )

392
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,010
Well

393
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:19,812
is that your universes
in there?

394
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,347
Nope. Too cold.

395
00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:25,518
Hmm. All women.

396
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:28,421
I'll put this one aside
for later.

397
00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,057
( Leela screaming )

398
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,859
Oh, mon, it's hopeless.

399
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:35,327
We'll never find your universe
in time.

400
00:16:35,427 --> 00:16:37,764
Plus, this box is stuck
on my fat head.

401
00:16:37,864 --> 00:16:40,167
Yes, it's the Apocalypse,
all right.

402
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:42,735
I always thought
I'd have a hand in it.

403
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,171
I'm not sad...

404
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:47,005
because I finally found
someone as great as me.

405
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:49,042
It's like I always say:

406
00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:51,344
"Make new friends,
but keep the old.

407
00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:52,879
One is silver..."

408
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:55,014
( voice breaking ):
"And the other's gold."

409
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,749
( loud clunk )

410
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,551
( both sobbing )

411
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,188
Why with the long faces?

412
00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,356
( gasps ):
The idiots have the box!

413
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,259
I think she means you.

414
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:07,259
Grab them!

415
00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:08,928
( Zoidbergs whimpering )

416
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:14,634
You coward! Wait for me!

417
00:17:20,772 --> 00:17:23,875
Blug! Which one
did they go into?

418
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,978
Oh, let's all ask each other!

419
00:17:26,078 --> 00:17:28,115
That'll solve this problem!

420
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,482
We'll each have to search
a universe.

421
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,818
Everyone grab a length
of wire first

422
00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:34,987
so you can find your way back.

423
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:49,336
Woo-woo!
Woo-woo!

424
00:17:51,002 --> 00:17:52,605
Hello?

425
00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:54,507
Did you see
two smelly lobsters?

426
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:58,076
We didn't see
anything...

427
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,578
ever.

428
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:05,652
Yo, uh, did two shellfish
in scrubs go by?

429
00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,153
Hell, no.
Shut up.

430
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,588
Beat it, jerk!

431
00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:15,662
Uh, have you robot versions
of you guys

432
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,464
seen any extra Zoidbergs
around here?

433
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:21,000
( mechanically ):
Negative.
Will you go out with me?

434
00:18:21,099 --> 00:18:23,135
Uh, access denied.

435
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:29,040
( chalk squeaking )

436
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:33,680
Hey, pal, look what I snagged
from the leprechaun universe.

437
00:18:33,779 --> 00:18:35,981
Yeah, leprechaun universe
is fine...

438
00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:40,487
if you haven't seen
pirate universe.

439
00:18:40,586 --> 00:18:43,021
( gasps ):
Faith and begorra!

440
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,825
Que?

441
00:18:47,326 --> 00:18:49,162
Quick! Into another box!

442
00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:51,798
There aren't any
in this universe,
there aren't.

443
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:53,500
Hey, you, what
with the no boxes?

444
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:55,335
Baby, they're somewhere.

445
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,237
Everything's,
like, somewhere.

446
00:18:57,336 --> 00:19:00,307
Place is kind of
au naturel right now.

447
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:02,375
There they are!

448
00:19:02,474 --> 00:19:03,710
( both gasp )

449
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:04,876
Gotcha!

450
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,846
Dig it, all of you
fitting in this box

451
00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:10,182
is, like, seriously freaked up.

452
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:13,353
Nonsense! Why, there's
a whole universe in there.

453
00:19:13,452 --> 00:19:17,022
Dude, there's a universe
in all of us.

454
00:19:17,123 --> 00:19:20,259
Right on,
Professor Freaksworth!

455
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:22,595
Get a job!

456
00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:24,263
We've got the box!

457
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,499
Everyone pull your wires!

458
00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,101
( grunting and gasping )

459
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,271
( all yelling )

460
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:38,611
Hurry! Back to Universe A!

461
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,681
( grunting )

462
00:19:59,598 --> 00:20:03,201
( all grunting )

463
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:06,038
Hermes! Don't press
that button!

464
00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:13,813
Okay.

465
00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,150
Bye, Leela.
Bye-bye.
So long.

466
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,653
So long, Your Majesty.

467
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,160
There but for the flip
of a coin go we.

468
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:31,998
So, um, Leela, seeing how
the universe wasn't destroyed

469
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:34,334
uh, you want to catch
an ape fight?

470
00:20:34,433 --> 00:20:35,835
You know, together?

471
00:20:35,934 --> 00:20:39,672
Well... I guess you deserve
one more flip.

472
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:44,510
So? Heads or tails?

473
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:47,346
You know, let's
just say it's heads.

474
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:50,982
Ready?

475
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:55,153
BOTH PROFESSORS:
One, two, three... pull!

476
00:20:57,589 --> 00:20:58,691
There.

477
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,992
That space-time eversion

478
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:04,163
has given us their
box, and vice versa.

479
00:21:04,262 --> 00:21:06,833
So what you think you just
explained to us is that...

480
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:11,604
Correct! This box contains
our own universe!

481
00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:13,105
( all gasp )

482
00:21:13,204 --> 00:21:15,207
Sweet honeybee of infinity!

483
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:19,346
( people grunting and gasping )

484
00:21:21,448 --> 00:21:25,217
Bender, quit destroying
the universe.

485
00:21:25,317 --> 00:21:28,355
But... Oh!

486
00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:32,791
Yes, all that is
and ever shall be
is in that box.

487
00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:35,662
And the box itself
is probably worth
something, too.

488
00:21:35,761 --> 00:21:37,229
We must cherish it

489
00:21:37,329 --> 00:21:40,900
as we cherish every moment
of our lives.

490
00:21:46,905 --> 00:21:48,039
( rumbling )

491
00:21:49,174 --> 00:21:51,911
( sighs )