1 00:00:01,534 --> 00:00:04,405 ANNOUNCER: Prepare for the stereophonic experience. 2 00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,274 ( beatboxing theme song ) 3 00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,381 BENDER: Ah, New New York City! 4 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,754 BENDER: Don't worry about it. 5 00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:24,957 Do the robot, baby! 6 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:44,811 Oh, Lord, hiking is always such a strain on the buttocks. 7 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,816 Shh. What was that sound? 8 00:00:48,915 --> 00:00:50,651 It wasn't a bird's nest falling. 9 00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:51,984 That sounds like this. 10 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,054 ( chirping ) 11 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:57,158 Aw, they're so cute when they're scared. 12 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,093 I meant the sound Bigfoot just made. 13 00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:01,262 He's been sighted a lot in this area recently. 14 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,731 Just last week, a blind hiker felt him. 15 00:01:03,831 --> 00:01:06,634 Don't tell me you actually believe in Bigfoot 16 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,301 you blathering ninnyhammer. 17 00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:09,469 Of course I do. 18 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:10,903 Bigfoot's my hero. 19 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:13,740 Growing up, he was the celebrity I most identified with. 20 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:14,608 Why? 21 00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:15,643 'Cause he was a loner 22 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,177 who hated the popular monsters 23 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,245 yet longed to be one. 24 00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:21,814 I can so relate to that. 25 00:01:21,914 --> 00:01:23,317 ( crying ) 26 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,686 Ugh, enough emotions. 27 00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:28,489 This isn't a fat camp, for God's sake. 28 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,823 Although you wouldn't know it from looking. 29 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,665 ( loud clanging ) 30 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,168 ( sighs ) 31 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:43,971 Bender, if you want to sleep in a tent tonight 32 00:01:44,070 --> 00:01:46,140 you're welcome to join me and Hermes 33 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,376 for a little "just friends" spooning. 34 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:51,278 Nah, I'm comfy out here under the stars. 35 00:01:51,378 --> 00:01:53,213 Whoa! Whoa! 36 00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,948 Real comfy. 37 00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:59,520 Hi. I'm Ranger Park the park ranger. 38 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,453 I get it. 39 00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:01,388 Now, since this area's 40 00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:02,722 a national Bigfoot preserve 41 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:04,692 we'll start with a short film about Bigfoot 42 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,326 while I make a few phone calls. 43 00:02:08,961 --> 00:02:13,066 ANNOUNCER: Bigfoot... Endangered Mystery. 44 00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:17,003 In the dense forests of the Pacific Northwest 45 00:02:17,103 --> 00:02:19,072 dwells the strange and beautiful creature 46 00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:20,408 known as Bigfoot, perhaps. 47 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:21,542 That proves it. 48 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,843 Sadly, logging and human settlement 49 00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:27,046 today threaten what might possibly be his habitat 50 00:02:27,146 --> 00:02:29,682 although if it's not, they don't. 51 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,819 Bigfoot populations require vast amounts of land 52 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,322 to remain elusive in. 53 00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:36,689 They typically dwell just behind rocks 54 00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:38,658 but are also sometimes playful 55 00:02:38,759 --> 00:02:40,527 bounding into thick fogs 56 00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:42,195 and out-of-focus areas. 57 00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:45,533 It should say "top quality exercycle for sale." 58 00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:48,368 And could you put "top quality" in bold? 59 00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:49,870 You can't? Okay, whatever. 60 00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:52,171 Remember, it's up to us. 61 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:55,742 Bigfoot is a crucial part of the ecosystem, if he exists. 62 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,878 So, let's all help keep Bigfoot possibly alive 63 00:02:58,978 --> 00:03:02,915 for future generations to enjoy, unless he doesn't exist. 64 00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:08,055 All right, I got to call you back. 65 00:03:08,155 --> 00:03:09,223 All right, questions? 66 00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:12,192 Yeah. Have yous ever seens Bigfeet? 67 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:13,426 Technically, no. 68 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,962 But I do see him each night in my dreams 69 00:03:16,062 --> 00:03:19,533 and each day in the smiling faces of hairy children. 70 00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:20,967 Bunk! Bunk, I say. 71 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:25,038 Bring me a bag full of Bigfoot's droppings or shut up! 72 00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:26,939 I have the droppings of someone who saw Bigfoot. 73 00:03:27,039 --> 00:03:27,941 Shut up! 74 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,810 Oh, my God. Look, it's Bigfoot! 75 00:03:29,909 --> 00:03:30,644 Where? 76 00:03:30,743 --> 00:03:31,978 Ah, he's gone. 77 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,247 He said you should keep wasting your life though. 78 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:38,085 Oh, I saw Bigfoot crushing cars at the county fair. 79 00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:40,788 What you saw was Bigfoot the monster truck. 80 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:42,389 But thanks for a great question. 81 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,890 ( mumbling ): Oh... 82 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:45,425 Sir, if I may? 83 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,995 Why don't you just set up, like, a billion video cameras 84 00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:50,062 in the woods and see if he walks by one. 85 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,265 Ah, that would be very expensive 86 00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:55,668 and most people who believe in Bigfoot are broke. 87 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,805 Hey, look, Bigfoot, he's back! 88 00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:58,472 Where?! 89 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,473 Up your face. 90 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,808 ( laughing ) 91 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,443 Everybody do the Bender. 92 00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,948 ( crickets chirping ) 93 00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:10,318 The sky out here is amazing. 94 00:04:10,418 --> 00:04:12,185 Look at all the satellites. 95 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:22,295 Good night, employees. 96 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,630 Good night. 97 00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:25,766 Good night, Hubert. 98 00:04:28,168 --> 00:04:29,870 You doing all right out there, buddy? 99 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:32,004 Better than these gnats. 100 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,007 ( electronic zapping ) 101 00:04:34,106 --> 00:04:35,509 ( laughs ) 102 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,978 That guy won't be going home to his kids. 103 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:45,117 ( shivering ) 104 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,653 ( owl hooting ) 105 00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:48,021 What's that? A wolf? 106 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,656 Or some kind of boogen? 107 00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:52,225 Oh, God, I wish I was safe inside a tent. 108 00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:56,062 ( fake voice ): Fry! Fry, wake up. 109 00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,465 It's me, Bigface. 110 00:04:57,564 --> 00:04:59,867 Come out and groom my mangy fur. 111 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:01,168 ( gasps ) 112 00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:03,235 Bigfoot? You taught yourself English? 113 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:05,838 Bigfoot? 114 00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,341 Bigfoot?! 115 00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,377 ( chuckles ) 116 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:18,485 ( snoring ) 117 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,420 ( mumbling in sleep ) 118 00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,889 FRY: Bigfoot, is that you? 119 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:24,658 I'm not like the others, Bigfoot. 120 00:05:24,757 --> 00:05:26,360 I see through your monster coating 121 00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:27,827 to the gentle loner inside. 122 00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:29,829 I bet you have a wounded raccoon friend 123 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,665 that you tenderly nurse back to health while you go... 124 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,266 ( cooing ) 125 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:37,504 But in the end they shoot you, but you teach us about things. 126 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:42,942 ( chirping ) 127 00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,879 ( loud roaring ) 128 00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:48,081 ( wind whistling ) 129 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,922 ( gasps ) 130 00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:58,257 Oh, just a flying saucer. 131 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,192 Excuse me. You can't park here. 132 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:02,095 The parking area is over there. 133 00:06:02,194 --> 00:06:05,798 ( beeping and whirring ) 134 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:07,968 Wow, nice tube. 135 00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,805 Well... hey, hey, what's the big idea? 136 00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:13,040 Stop abducting me! 137 00:06:13,139 --> 00:06:15,709 Why does your vanity plate say "Probe 1"? 138 00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:20,146 Heeeellllp! 139 00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:26,586 ( birds chirping ) 140 00:06:26,687 --> 00:06:27,588 ( sighs ) 141 00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:31,158 ( all yawning ) 142 00:06:31,257 --> 00:06:33,494 There's nothing so refreshing 143 00:06:33,593 --> 00:06:37,831 as the clean, crisp taste of this bold, Canadian beer. 144 00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,800 Well, see you in an hour. 145 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:42,334 I got to go do some business behind that tree. 146 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:51,778 ( zipper rasping, Bender grunting ) 147 00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:52,913 Come on, you! 148 00:06:53,012 --> 00:06:54,014 ( yells ) 149 00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:55,816 Bender, wasn't that Fry's tent? 150 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:58,317 ( mockingly ): Wasn't that Fry's tent? 151 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,088 Bender raises a good point. 152 00:07:01,187 --> 00:07:02,322 Where is Fry? 153 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,591 ( panting ) 154 00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,463 ( chattering ) 155 00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:14,701 Amy, you won't believe what happened! 156 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,435 It was so scary that you wouldn't... 157 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,004 ( screams ) 158 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,641 I know, but listen, it gets even scarier. 159 00:07:20,740 --> 00:07:23,543 Fry, what in Sega Genesis happened to you? 160 00:07:23,644 --> 00:07:26,278 That's what I'm trying to tell you. See... 161 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:28,682 Why are you all staring at me like that? 162 00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,850 Is there something on my face? 163 00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,151 Uh, no. 164 00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:35,122 Someone should tell him. 165 00:07:35,221 --> 00:07:36,990 Tell me what? Nothing. 166 00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:41,394 Well, I have a lot of experience telling patients bad news 167 00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:43,797 so let me break it to him gently. 168 00:07:43,896 --> 00:07:46,500 Fry, you have no nose! 169 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,134 Your nose is gone! 170 00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:49,970 You have no nose on your face! 171 00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:51,471 Where it is, I can't say 172 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,874 but on your face it's not. 173 00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,975 What? 174 00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,177 ( shrieks ) 175 00:07:57,276 --> 00:07:58,545 Aw, I think it's sweet. 176 00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,079 You chopped off your nose 177 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,882 so you could look more like your hero-- me, Bender. 178 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,552 My God, they must have taken it last night. 179 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:06,586 Which last night? 180 00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,387 In the woods. I was walking. 181 00:08:08,487 --> 00:08:09,923 For Big Foot, looking. 182 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,858 And then aliens beamed me up. 183 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:14,827 Were they little gray dudes with the big oval heads? 184 00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,665 I don't get that gesture. Am I wrong? 185 00:08:18,766 --> 00:08:20,167 Cheer up, friend. 186 00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:23,670 When we get home, a high-quality prosthesis 187 00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:26,406 will have you looking good as new. 188 00:08:26,505 --> 00:08:28,507 I'm a pathetic freak. 189 00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:30,177 My life is ruined. 190 00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:31,511 ( laughs ) 191 00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,715 Man, you are such a jokester. 192 00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:37,717 I'll never have another moment of happiness. 193 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:42,590 ( all laughing ) 194 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:45,192 I know you're trying to mask your pain with humor 195 00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,594 but don't worry. 196 00:08:46,693 --> 00:08:48,928 I'm sure the Professor can clone you a new nose. 197 00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:51,230 It wouldn't be the same; I want my nose. 198 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:53,466 I don't want to have to teach a new one 199 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,368 how to shoot milk when I laugh. 200 00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:57,904 Well, there's no sense fretting. 201 00:08:58,004 --> 00:08:59,807 Good lord, you're ugly. 202 00:08:59,907 --> 00:09:01,307 The fact is your nose is gone 203 00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,543 and we'll never find out who did it or why. 204 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:05,544 ( hatch opens ) 205 00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:08,315 Guys, guys, there's something on television! 206 00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:12,653 Alien abductions-- until now a harmless nuisance 207 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:15,989 but recently they've taken on a sinister dimension 208 00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:19,292 as unsuspecting victims are returned without noses. 209 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,460 Like me. 210 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:22,995 The culprits: shameless poachers 211 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:24,965 hunting humans without a permit. 212 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:27,600 The valuable nose-- or "human horn"-- 213 00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:31,403 fetches a high price on alien worlds as an aphrodisiac. 214 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,505 My nose is an aphrodisiac? 215 00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:34,607 ( groans ) 216 00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,143 I'm gonna drop a barf! 217 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:38,345 Demand for human horn is great 218 00:09:38,445 --> 00:09:40,681 due in part to titillating scenes 219 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:45,284 from depraved alien TV programs too filthy for Earth broadcast. 220 00:09:45,384 --> 00:09:46,119 Let's watch. 221 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,155 ( gasps ) 222 00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:50,157 Human horn? 223 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,192 But it is forbidden. 224 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:55,028 So is our love. 225 00:10:01,668 --> 00:10:05,272 ( moaning ) 226 00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:06,807 Blech! 227 00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:09,542 We have to track down my nose before some aliens snarfs it 228 00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:11,144 and does The Worm. Who's in? 229 00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,114 Me and Bender and maybe Zoidberg if he feels like it. 230 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:15,514 Nah, I'm good. 231 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:24,825 ( crowd speaking alien languages ) 232 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:31,030 Let's see. I'll take a pancreas, two sphincters 233 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:32,231 and a large coke. 234 00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:34,167 One number three combo. 235 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,568 ( spit squeaking ) 236 00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:40,006 It's no use. 237 00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:42,241 We've been to every scuzzy bazaar in the galaxy 238 00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:43,711 including Pottery Barn. 239 00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:44,912 Wait. What's that? 240 00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:52,351 Welcome, friends. 241 00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,520 How may I pervert you? 242 00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,155 Uh, I'm looking for human horn. 243 00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,725 Shh. You're not cops, right? 244 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,159 Of course not. 245 00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,394 In fact, he's a crook. 246 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:03,996 Yep. Stolen Pez, anyone? 247 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,668 Right this way. 248 00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:13,206 Human horn, so fresh 249 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:17,210 you can still see the eyeglass marks. 250 00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:19,446 Nope. Uh-uh. 251 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,413 Ooh! 252 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,082 Now, look, this is the nose we want. 253 00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:24,517 Did you sell it to somebody? 254 00:11:24,616 --> 00:11:25,684 I'm sorry, sir 255 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:29,188 but due to the perverted nature of our business 256 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:32,524 customer records are strictly confidential. 257 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:33,760 ( groans ) 258 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:36,028 Right this way. 259 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:39,365 I videotape everyone who comes in here 260 00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:42,134 so I can blackmail them later. 261 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:43,602 ( all exclaiming ) 262 00:11:43,702 --> 00:11:45,705 Hey, I'm a porno-dealing monster. 263 00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,774 What do I care what you think? 264 00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:50,243 Here's the weirdo who bought your horn. 265 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,046 ( Leela gasps ) 266 00:11:53,145 --> 00:11:56,249 That's Lrrr, ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8. 267 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,118 You got any... you know...? 268 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:02,322 Speak up. You're muttering. 269 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,292 I said... human horn? 270 00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,094 You're not a cop, right? 271 00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,461 Oh, no, no. I'm just some guy... 272 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,298 ruler of the planet Omicron Persei 8! 273 00:12:24,576 --> 00:12:26,145 So let me get this straight. 274 00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:30,182 If I buy eight Caramello bars, you all get to go to some camp? 275 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,451 Yep. That's exactly the lie we used 276 00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:33,986 to get past your guards. 277 00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,288 Oh, great space king 278 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,924 I humbly beg you to return my human horn. 279 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,927 What... human horn? 280 00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,461 How ridiculous. 281 00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:45,032 Why would a virile male like Lrrr need human horn? 282 00:12:45,131 --> 00:12:46,834 I don't even know what it's for. 283 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,601 What is it? Something you put in salad dressing? 284 00:12:49,701 --> 00:12:51,337 Like you've ever seen a salad. 285 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,673 My weight is appropriate and attractive. 286 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,475 Whoa, you guys have issues. 287 00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,510 She has issues. I'm fine. 288 00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:01,380 But there's no human horn around here 289 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,316 so make friends with the door. 290 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:04,985 All right, I give up. 291 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:08,554 I guess I'll just go home and marry a skunk. 292 00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:10,289 ( sobbing ) 293 00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:11,859 Oh, let's just give it to him. 294 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:12,893 Here. 295 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,662 My nose! Light of my face! 296 00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:17,129 Uh, what is that? 297 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,399 How do you have that, Ndnd? 298 00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:20,967 I've never seen it before. 299 00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:22,469 My friend left it here. 300 00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,304 Hold still, Fry. 301 00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:28,008 I can reattach it with my emergency face laser. 302 00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,043 ( tone ) 303 00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,578 Hey, you burned my cheek! 304 00:13:32,678 --> 00:13:34,847 Yeah, sorry. I wasn't really concentrating. 305 00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:37,517 No, I mean the singed flesh-- I can smell it. 306 00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:38,485 ( sniffs ) 307 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,552 And those lilacs on the table. 308 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,188 At least someone noticed. 309 00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:44,857 For the last time, I don't like lilacs! 310 00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:47,494 Your first wife was the one who liked lilacs. 311 00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,096 She also liked to shut up. 312 00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:49,996 Well, great seeing you. 313 00:13:50,096 --> 00:13:51,163 I guess we'll be on our... 314 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,231 Yo, Highness! 315 00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,866 Just out of robo curiosity 316 00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:57,070 why would you use a guy's nose for an aphrodisiac 317 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,907 instead of his, you know, wing-dang doodle? 318 00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:03,676 But I thought the horn was the human wing-dang doodle. 319 00:14:03,775 --> 00:14:05,111 No, sir, Chief. 320 00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:08,181 The main event-- so to speak-- is downstairs, near the wallet. 321 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:11,217 You ever see soccer players line up to block a free kick? 322 00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:14,287 They ain't covering their noses, I'll tell you that much. 323 00:14:14,386 --> 00:14:15,355 Well, see you. 324 00:14:15,455 --> 00:14:16,556 Interesting. 325 00:14:16,655 --> 00:14:20,293 The trousers conceal a tiny, secondary horn. 326 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,360 Hey, what've you heard? 327 00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,763 Guards, seize him! 328 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,067 Prepare to harvest the lower horn. 329 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:32,072 Okay, you can have my nose. 330 00:14:37,476 --> 00:14:39,479 ( whimpering ) 331 00:14:39,578 --> 00:14:40,379 Guards! 332 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,413 Yeah? 333 00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,149 Remove the human's lower horn 334 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,485 and prepare it to be eaten by me. 335 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:48,254 In other words, slop a lot of ketchup and salt on it. 336 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,256 Then bring it to our royal bed chamber 337 00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,993 and put it in a sock drawer with all the other things 338 00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:55,761 that have failed to arouse my passion for this woman. 339 00:14:55,861 --> 00:14:59,265 ( whirring ) 340 00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:01,000 Remove pants. 341 00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:02,601 Wait... listen. 342 00:15:02,701 --> 00:15:05,304 I'm usually the first guy to toot my own lower horn, but... 343 00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:06,773 I'll say. Whoo! 344 00:15:06,873 --> 00:15:08,475 But in this case, I just don't think 345 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,676 it's going to do any good. 346 00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:13,312 That's what she said. Whoo! 347 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,283 Let's face it, you two have deep relationship problems 348 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,418 that can't be solved by an aphrodisiac. 349 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:19,918 However huge it might be. 350 00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:23,322 So what do you suggest, painfully single human? 351 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:24,823 Well, why don't you think back 352 00:15:24,923 --> 00:15:27,259 to what brought you together in the first place. 353 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:29,162 Oh, I don't know. 354 00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:32,198 Lrrr used to be so tender. 355 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:35,534 Oh, I only wrote that poem to test my printer. 356 00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:37,169 We'd go walking in the woods 357 00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:39,838 and Lrrr would find injured little tinklebunnies 358 00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,640 and nurse them back to health. 359 00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:43,842 Yes, but I'm the one who injured them. 360 00:15:43,942 --> 00:15:45,445 Oh, shush. 361 00:15:45,544 --> 00:15:48,780 You stepped on them by accident and then you cried all night. 362 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:51,484 That's the kind of sensitive man you used to be. 363 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,952 And you used to wear a size three cape 364 00:15:54,053 --> 00:15:55,355 but not anymore. 365 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:58,557 Now bring me that lower horn while I'm still in the mood. 366 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:00,126 ( whirring ) 367 00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:01,293 B-but w-w-what if we 368 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:02,828 helped you get your passion back 369 00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:04,530 without the hassle of mutilating me? 370 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,966 Yeah. We know a great place in the mountains. 371 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,168 We could take you there 372 00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,169 for a romantic dinner under the stars. 373 00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:12,639 Hmm. Sounds interesting. 374 00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,006 But he would never do it. 375 00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:15,375 Oh, like hell I wouldn't. 376 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,677 I'm not going to be blamed for not going. 377 00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:18,711 Then it's a deal. 378 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:19,846 We get one night. 379 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,514 I keep my horn as long as you two 380 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,682 end up doing the horizontal Monster Mash. 381 00:16:23,783 --> 00:16:25,652 ( laughing ) 382 00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:28,721 Oh... I don't get it. 383 00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,663 Bonjour. May I offer you a box of wine 384 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,664 for the edge of the table? 385 00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:39,665 No, thanks. 386 00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:41,334 Just water, please. 387 00:16:41,433 --> 00:16:42,335 Tap water. 388 00:16:42,434 --> 00:16:44,003 Oh... big spender. 389 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:45,238 That's it! 390 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:47,240 This date is over! 391 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,674 Waiter! 392 00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:51,077 So, what can I get you this evening? 393 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:52,511 Your lower horn! 394 00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:53,846 ( yelps ) 395 00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:56,115 Uh, I'll just start you off with some bread-- 396 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:57,549 some sexy, arousing bread. 397 00:16:57,649 --> 00:17:00,452 Fine, but none of that whole-grain goat food. 398 00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:02,621 And bring plenty of melted butter! 399 00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:06,858 Ugh. Why don't you just inject some fat straight into your ass 400 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,627 and cut out the middleman? 401 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,530 One of these days, Ndnd... Bang! Zoom! 402 00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:15,134 Straight to the third moon of Omicron Persei 8! 403 00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:21,441 ( loud eating ) 404 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:24,111 Mmm. This jerked chicken is good. 405 00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:27,579 I think I'll have Fry's lower horn jerked. 406 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,083 BENDER: It's used to it! Whoo! 407 00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:31,483 ( wheels squeaking ) 408 00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:34,221 So, uh, how are you two snoogie-pookums doing? 409 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,221 Poorly! 410 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,156 My wife is right, for once. 411 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:39,826 There's very little magic in the air. 412 00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:41,827 Ready the lower horn transport vessel. 413 00:17:44,963 --> 00:17:45,897 ( screams ) 414 00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,500 Boy, who knew a cooler 415 00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:50,001 could also make a handy wang coffin. 416 00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,172 Mind if I stick these in here? 417 00:17:52,271 --> 00:17:53,005 Go for it. 418 00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:55,741 Don't worry, Fry. 419 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:56,776 Things look bad 420 00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:58,911 but I still have a trump card... 421 00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:01,780 the most beautiful love song ever written. 422 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:10,423 * And I... will always love you, ooh... * 423 00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:14,693 ( groans and screams ) 424 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,328 The humans are attacking! 425 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:19,298 Pluck the lower horn and let's get out of here! 426 00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:22,000 Quick, Fry, run for it. 427 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,170 ( grunts ) 428 00:18:24,203 --> 00:18:25,438 ( wheels squeaking ) 429 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,838 ( grunts ) 430 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:29,842 Come on, freedom cage, roll me to safety. 431 00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:39,486 Yes! I never thought I'd escape with my doodle 432 00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:40,952 but I pulled it out. 433 00:18:41,052 --> 00:18:43,855 BENDER: Just like at the movie theater. Whoo! 434 00:18:43,955 --> 00:18:45,224 Give me that. 435 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,393 ( screams ) 436 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:03,643 ( loud growl and thundering footsteps ) 437 00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:07,846 Bigfoot! 438 00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:09,316 He's real. I knew it! 439 00:19:09,415 --> 00:19:11,518 The Loch Ness Monster's book was right. 440 00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:17,856 ( grunting ) 441 00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:21,928 Well, hello there, my furry friend. 442 00:19:22,028 --> 00:19:24,830 Look at his adorable little feet. 443 00:19:26,031 --> 00:19:28,701 ( growls ferociously ) 444 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,173 ( chuckles lovingly ) 445 00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:36,776 Yes, you are a cutie pie. 446 00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,611 Holy macaroni! 447 00:19:40,346 --> 00:19:42,781 I can't believe I'm seeing Bigfoot. 448 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,182 And he's in focus. 449 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,853 Oh, I've waited my entire life for this moment. 450 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:49,855 ALL: Huh? What? 451 00:19:49,955 --> 00:19:51,391 Hey, what are you doing with that? 452 00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:54,727 You're going to kill this innocent giganto? 453 00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:55,961 Of course not. 454 00:19:56,061 --> 00:19:57,797 I'm just going to tranquilize him 455 00:19:57,896 --> 00:20:00,299 so I can chop off his feet as proof he exists 456 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,101 then dump him back in the wild. 457 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,303 He'll do fine. 458 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:07,205 You'll have to get through me first. 459 00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:09,308 Okay. Nightie-night. 460 00:20:11,943 --> 00:20:13,313 Hey. 461 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:16,982 Now leave this gentle Sasquatch, or wood ape, in peace 462 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,419 so I can finally and at long last 463 00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:23,055 harvest this pathetic human's lower horn. 464 00:20:23,154 --> 00:20:24,457 Yeah! ( gasps ) 465 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,157 Wait, what am I saying? 466 00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:28,560 If I poach this beast's lower horn 467 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:32,999 am I any better than that ranger with his demented foot lust? 468 00:20:33,098 --> 00:20:35,734 Yes, but not by enough. 469 00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:38,938 Score. 470 00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,339 ( growls softly ) 471 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,310 This human's lower horn is one of God's creatures-- 472 00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:45,612 a living thing. 473 00:20:45,711 --> 00:20:49,080 And all living things, large and small... 474 00:20:49,181 --> 00:20:51,951 BENDER: In this case, small. Whoo! 475 00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:56,489 Have dignity and a spark of the divine. 476 00:20:56,588 --> 00:20:58,990 ( crying ) 477 00:20:59,090 --> 00:21:02,429 That's the gentle, sensitive poet warlord 478 00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,195 I fell in love with. 479 00:21:13,772 --> 00:21:16,008 ( passionate moaning ) 480 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:22,280 ( clears throat ) 481 00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:26,618 LRRR: Uh, you'll want to retreat to a safe 500-meter radius! 482 00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:32,659 Well, Fry, it looks like you get to hold on to your lower horn. 483 00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:34,861 As usual. Whoo! 484 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,695 Run away! 485 00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:38,830 ( moaning continues ) 486 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:41,567 LRRR: Oh, yeah... 487 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:58,518 ANNOUNCER: You are on a scenic route 488 00:21:58,617 --> 00:22:01,921 through a state recreation area known as the human mind. 489 00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:04,356 You ask a passerby for directions 490 00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:06,858 only to find he has no face, or something. 491 00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:09,327 Suddenly, up ahead, a door in the road. 492 00:22:09,429 --> 00:22:12,832 You swerve, narrowly avoiding The Scary Door. 493 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:18,069 I have combined the DNA of the world's most evil animals 494 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:20,740 to make the most evil creature of them all. 495 00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:26,011 It turns out it's man.