1 00:00:02,447 --> 00:00:04,000 Whooo! 2 00:00:04,067 --> 00:00:05,482 [ scatting] 3 00:00:05,551 --> 00:00:06,309 Two, three. 4 00:00:06,378 --> 00:00:07,448 [ beatboxing] 5 00:00:07,517 --> 00:00:09,310 PROFESSOR: Oh, my! 6 00:00:09,378 --> 00:00:10,413 BENDER: Here we go, y'all! 7 00:00:10,481 --> 00:00:12,343 ZOIDBERG: Zoidberg. Zoidberg. 8 00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,448 Z-Z-Z-Z-Zoidberg. 9 00:00:14,516 --> 00:00:18,655 [ gibberish] 10 00:00:18,724 --> 00:00:22,448 BENDER: This is a story about all my friends. 11 00:00:22,516 --> 00:00:25,309 PROFESSOR: Why? Why? 12 00:00:29,585 --> 00:00:31,964 ANNOUNCER: Previously onAll My Circuits: 13 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,930 [ organ plays] 14 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,896 I'm sorry, father, but somewhere along the way 15 00:00:36,965 --> 00:00:38,965 I forgot how to be your son. 16 00:00:39,033 --> 00:00:40,412 Why, Antonio? 17 00:00:40,481 --> 00:00:44,448 Because I have amnesia! 18 00:00:44,517 --> 00:00:46,517 [ kissing sounds] 19 00:00:48,344 --> 00:00:49,378 Calculon! 20 00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:50,481 But I thought you were... 21 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:52,758 Egyptian? 22 00:00:52,826 --> 00:00:53,930 Before I kill you 23 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:55,826 I must ask you one question: 24 00:00:55,896 --> 00:00:56,965 Who am I? 25 00:00:57,033 --> 00:01:00,930 For I have amnesia! 26 00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,448 Let me get this straight. 27 00:01:03,517 --> 00:01:05,793 Does anyone here nothave amnesia? 28 00:01:05,861 --> 00:01:07,102 [ murmuring] 29 00:01:07,171 --> 00:01:08,206 I don't know. 30 00:01:09,655 --> 00:01:11,826 This show is awesome. 31 00:01:11,896 --> 00:01:14,965 When I grow up, I'm going to have so much amnesia. 32 00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:16,033 Me, too. 33 00:01:16,103 --> 00:01:18,000 I mean, I have it now, but I forgot. 34 00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:19,724 Well, mine's louder. 35 00:01:19,793 --> 00:01:21,551 Cram a ham in it, you twerps. 36 00:01:21,620 --> 00:01:22,448 [ yelps][ bottle breaks] 37 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:23,585 Sorry. 38 00:01:23,655 --> 00:01:25,206 Nah, I had it coming. 39 00:01:25,275 --> 00:01:27,240 [ chattering] 40 00:01:27,310 --> 00:01:28,688 CALCULON: Welcome, swingers. 41 00:01:28,757 --> 00:01:31,481 Pull up a groove and get fabulous. 42 00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:32,861 Nude rock bands 43 00:01:32,930 --> 00:01:35,481 big piles of what I assume is talcum powder... 44 00:01:35,551 --> 00:01:38,000 It's quite a birthday party, Calculon. 45 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:38,965 Cool! 46 00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:40,033 I'm going to have 47 00:01:40,103 --> 00:01:41,275 a fabulacious birthday party 48 00:01:41,343 --> 00:01:42,310 just like Calculon. 49 00:01:42,378 --> 00:01:43,448 Oh, yeah? 50 00:01:43,516 --> 00:01:44,861 Well, I'm going to show up looking good 51 00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:46,343 just like Monique. 52 00:01:46,412 --> 00:01:49,240 Do you two have to imitate everything you see on TV? 53 00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,171 Um, we're 12... so yes. 54 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:53,137 Hold up, Cubert. 55 00:01:53,206 --> 00:01:54,723 You're a clone of the Professor. 56 00:01:54,793 --> 00:01:56,723 Do clones even have birthdays? 57 00:01:56,793 --> 00:01:58,688 Um, duh. 58 00:01:58,758 --> 00:02:00,275 Duh what? 59 00:02:02,516 --> 00:02:06,240 [ growling] 60 00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:08,826 Dad, do I have a birthday? 61 00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:10,033 Hmm. 62 00:02:10,103 --> 00:02:13,068 You didn't have a birth, so technically, no. 63 00:02:13,137 --> 00:02:14,068 [ groans] 64 00:02:14,137 --> 00:02:16,448 Oh, don't feel bad. 65 00:02:16,516 --> 00:02:17,896 We can celebrate the day 66 00:02:17,965 --> 00:02:20,240 I extracted you from the cloning tank. 67 00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:24,688 Or the day I scraped your DNA from that growth on my back. 68 00:02:24,758 --> 00:02:25,861 Ooh, that one! 69 00:02:25,931 --> 00:02:29,586 Ah, yes, it was 13 years ago next week. 70 00:02:29,655 --> 00:02:32,343 I used this very fork. 71 00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:33,965 Oh, well, isn't that... 72 00:02:34,033 --> 00:02:35,586 [ yelps] 73 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,620 Hey, next week will be my birthday, too. 74 00:02:37,688 --> 00:02:38,620 That's true. 75 00:02:38,688 --> 00:02:40,240 If only there were a way to have 76 00:02:40,310 --> 00:02:42,516 one party for both of you here at the office 77 00:02:42,586 --> 00:02:44,550 then write it off as a business expense. 78 00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:46,275 Wait! I thought of a way. 79 00:02:46,343 --> 00:02:47,516 The way I just said. 80 00:02:47,586 --> 00:02:49,343 Yeah.Way to go, pops. 81 00:02:49,413 --> 00:02:52,655 BENDER: Something's happening on television! 82 00:02:52,723 --> 00:02:54,275 [ panting] 83 00:02:56,481 --> 00:02:59,103 Oh, Monique, why did we wait so many years 84 00:02:59,171 --> 00:03:01,448 to bathe in champagne? 85 00:03:04,861 --> 00:03:07,205 [ approaching scream] 86 00:03:07,275 --> 00:03:08,931 [ grunts] 87 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,068 Father! 88 00:03:10,137 --> 00:03:11,965 I've discovered the shocking secret 89 00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:14,171 mother has kept from you for 200 years. 90 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:15,861 No! No! 91 00:03:15,931 --> 00:03:18,655 Brace yourself, for when I speak these words 92 00:03:18,723 --> 00:03:22,620 you may well suffer an attack of explosive amnesia. 93 00:03:22,688 --> 00:03:26,723 For you see, the horrible secret is... 94 00:03:26,793 --> 00:03:31,103 [ electrical buzzing] 95 00:03:33,655 --> 00:03:36,965 Whoever's directing this is a master of suspense. 96 00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:38,965 [ buzzing continues] 97 00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:43,550 [ clonking] 98 00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:45,000 He's busteds. 99 00:03:45,067 --> 00:03:47,137 Let's get hims out of heres. 100 00:03:51,171 --> 00:03:53,793 ANNOUNCER: We now join America's most popular show 101 00:03:53,861 --> 00:03:55,413 already in progress: 102 00:03:55,481 --> 00:03:58,240 Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad. 103 00:03:58,310 --> 00:04:02,895 [ sustained electrical buzzing] 104 00:04:02,965 --> 00:04:04,655 This show's been going downhill 105 00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:05,895 since season three. 106 00:04:12,033 --> 00:04:14,137 Look who's here, everyone. 107 00:04:14,205 --> 00:04:16,654 It's Zoidberg, the lovable tramp. 108 00:04:18,172 --> 00:04:20,654 Since when are you performing at children's parties? 109 00:04:20,723 --> 00:04:22,447 Performing? What? 110 00:04:22,516 --> 00:04:23,654 Please, if someone 111 00:04:23,723 --> 00:04:25,930 could spare me money to buy shoes? 112 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,274 This party pukes. 113 00:04:28,343 --> 00:04:30,481 Yeah, the guests were supposed to be here 114 00:04:30,550 --> 00:04:31,689 three hours ago. 115 00:04:31,757 --> 00:04:34,206 Well, that doesn't mean that no one is coming 116 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,103 or that you two are total losers. 117 00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:37,862 Who gave you that idea? 118 00:04:37,930 --> 00:04:38,862 [ doorbell chimes] 119 00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:39,965 All right. 120 00:04:40,033 --> 00:04:41,379 They must have all come as a group. 121 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,000 Welcome, swingers. 122 00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:46,137 Pull up a groove and get fabulous. 123 00:04:46,206 --> 00:04:47,689 [ chuckles] 124 00:04:47,757 --> 00:04:48,689 Uh? 125 00:04:48,757 --> 00:04:49,862 [ clomping] 126 00:04:49,930 --> 00:04:50,826 Huh? 127 00:04:50,896 --> 00:04:52,240 Good day, fellows. 128 00:04:52,310 --> 00:04:54,896 Someone dumped this invitation in my begging cup. 129 00:04:54,965 --> 00:04:57,274 Happy growth-scraping day to all! 130 00:04:57,343 --> 00:04:59,413 [ dejected sighs] 131 00:04:59,481 --> 00:05:00,550 Fire them on. 132 00:05:00,620 --> 00:05:01,964 Hm-mm, hm-mm. 133 00:05:03,930 --> 00:05:05,172 [ panting] 134 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,067 Guys, guys! 135 00:05:07,137 --> 00:05:10,103 Something's happening on television again. 136 00:05:10,172 --> 00:05:11,447 [ grunting] 137 00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:13,689 Ooh! 138 00:05:14,757 --> 00:05:17,620 [ theme music plays] 139 00:05:17,689 --> 00:05:20,964 Welcome to Entertainment and Earth Invasion Tonite. 140 00:05:21,033 --> 00:05:22,206 Across the galaxy 141 00:05:22,274 --> 00:05:25,447 my people are completing the mighty space fleet 142 00:05:25,516 --> 00:05:27,826 that will exterminate the human race. 143 00:05:27,896 --> 00:05:30,550 But first, this news from Tinseltown. 144 00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:33,930 Following Antonio Calculon, Jr.'s breakdown on the set 145 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,240 the popular TV show All My Circuits 146 00:05:36,310 --> 00:05:40,067 will hold an open casting call for child robots to replace him. 147 00:05:40,137 --> 00:05:42,413 An open casting call for child robots? 148 00:05:42,481 --> 00:05:43,586 Tinny Tim 149 00:05:43,654 --> 00:05:44,862 are you thinking what I'm thinking? 150 00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:46,067 What's that, sir? 151 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:48,689 That I, Bender, am perfect for the role. 152 00:05:48,757 --> 00:05:51,516 You raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir. 153 00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:53,274 Bravo! 154 00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:58,930 [ murmuring; electrical crackling] 155 00:06:01,413 --> 00:06:04,757 Bender, your swarthy Latin charm will only get you so far. 156 00:06:04,826 --> 00:06:07,413 There's a lot of famous child acting units here. 157 00:06:07,482 --> 00:06:09,586 Look! There's Macaulay Cul-Con. 158 00:06:09,654 --> 00:06:11,550 LEELA: He's just not cute 159 00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:13,930 since he got puberty installed. 160 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,067 Psst! There's that robot child actor 161 00:06:16,137 --> 00:06:18,413 who grew up and robbed the convenience store. 162 00:06:18,481 --> 00:06:20,550 LEELA: And there's that robot child actor 163 00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:23,343 who grew up and became a convenience store. 164 00:06:23,413 --> 00:06:25,103 Lottery ticket, please. 165 00:06:25,172 --> 00:06:26,689 [ rattling] 166 00:06:27,896 --> 00:06:30,067 We're ready for the first audition. 167 00:06:30,137 --> 00:06:32,310 Emotitron, Jr. 168 00:06:32,379 --> 00:06:33,550 Hold on, precious. 169 00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:36,137 Let's make you look nice for the lady. 170 00:06:36,206 --> 00:06:38,067 What's this? What did I tell you? 171 00:06:38,137 --> 00:06:41,620 Ah! Ooh! Ah! Ow!No... more... hanging... wires! 172 00:06:41,689 --> 00:06:42,896 In this scene 173 00:06:42,965 --> 00:06:45,481 you've just found out your real father 174 00:06:45,550 --> 00:06:49,826 is Calculon's fourth evil identical septuplet, Sleazy Martinez. 175 00:06:49,896 --> 00:06:52,481 Okay... take us there. 176 00:06:52,550 --> 00:06:56,240 "Now that I know the truth, Father, I must ride south 177 00:06:56,310 --> 00:06:59,343 and join the robo-bandidos at Veracruz..." 178 00:06:59,413 --> 00:07:02,343 BENDER [ muffled]: Boo! Boo! This kid sucks! 179 00:07:02,413 --> 00:07:03,447 We want Bender! 180 00:07:03,516 --> 00:07:04,896 Boo! 181 00:07:04,964 --> 00:07:06,930 Well, I thought he was good 182 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,793 but the audience seems to have turned on him. 183 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:09,862 But I don't think... 184 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:10,689 Next! 185 00:07:12,654 --> 00:07:14,137 "...at Veracruz. 186 00:07:14,206 --> 00:07:16,896 So, if you'll kindly hand me my poncho..." 187 00:07:16,964 --> 00:07:19,274 BENDER [ muffled]: Boo! Bring on Bender! 188 00:07:19,343 --> 00:07:20,930 Boo! Bender's the greatest! 189 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:21,826 Sorry, kid. 190 00:07:21,896 --> 00:07:23,310 You're flailing up there. 191 00:07:23,379 --> 00:07:26,862 Ohhhh! 192 00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:29,516 90 actors and they all got booed. 193 00:07:29,586 --> 00:07:32,654 I just wish we could get this "Bender" 194 00:07:32,723 --> 00:07:34,000 I keep hearing about. 195 00:07:34,067 --> 00:07:35,896 They say he's the greatest. 196 00:07:35,965 --> 00:07:38,033 Well, there is a robot named Bender here 197 00:07:38,103 --> 00:07:39,481 but he's much too old... 198 00:07:39,550 --> 00:07:41,206 Send him in forthwith! 199 00:07:41,274 --> 00:07:43,000 Boo! Not as good as Bender! 200 00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:44,172 Boo! 201 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:45,206 Mr. Bender? 202 00:07:45,274 --> 00:07:46,723 [ startled gasp] 203 00:07:46,793 --> 00:07:48,620 Have you ever been on TV before? 204 00:07:48,689 --> 00:07:50,586 Once, when I took those hostages. 205 00:07:50,654 --> 00:07:51,757 I saw that. You were good. 206 00:07:51,826 --> 00:07:53,137 Let's hear you audition. 207 00:07:55,896 --> 00:07:56,826 Bandidos, eh? 208 00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:58,379 Ah, this is great 209 00:07:58,447 --> 00:08:02,103 'cause I happen to have a flawless Spanish accent. 210 00:08:02,172 --> 00:08:03,447 [ clears throat] 211 00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:06,447 "I will say a-dee-os, Pad-ray. 212 00:08:06,516 --> 00:08:09,930 "Come, Jesus, my faithful chi-hew-a-hew-a. 213 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:13,206 "Tonight, we eat gyoo-a-ca-mole 214 00:08:13,274 --> 00:08:15,103 by the el rio." 215 00:08:15,172 --> 00:08:18,206 That was so terrible, I think you gave me cancer. 216 00:08:18,274 --> 00:08:20,586 I don't care how popular you are 217 00:08:20,654 --> 00:08:22,862 you will never work on my show! 218 00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:23,896 FRY: Yay, Bender! 219 00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:25,550 LEELA: We demand Bender! 220 00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,586 However, you've got the job. 221 00:08:27,654 --> 00:08:29,481 Welcome aboard, "son." 222 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:31,000 Fathero! 223 00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:32,586 [ clonk] 224 00:08:43,033 --> 00:08:44,861 Bender, I'd like you to meet our director 225 00:08:44,931 --> 00:08:46,136 whose name I never learned. 226 00:08:46,206 --> 00:08:47,309 Yo. 227 00:08:47,379 --> 00:08:48,895 I read the script and I think 228 00:08:48,965 --> 00:08:51,620 it would help my character's motivation if he was on fire. 229 00:08:51,688 --> 00:08:53,379 Uh, don't worry about the script, baby. 230 00:08:53,447 --> 00:08:55,965 We rewrote your part to better suit your acting abilities. 231 00:08:56,033 --> 00:08:59,654 Oh, now my character has a British accent? 232 00:08:59,724 --> 00:09:01,931 No, now your character's in a coma. 233 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,517 Get in bed and don't move. 234 00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,481 [ grumbling] 235 00:09:06,551 --> 00:09:08,033 And... action! 236 00:09:08,102 --> 00:09:10,379 [ muttering]: Stupid, dumb coma. 237 00:09:10,447 --> 00:09:11,965 Could have been British. 238 00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:13,758 Alas, that mine only son 239 00:09:13,826 --> 00:09:17,481 should sink into an irreversible, permanent 240 00:09:17,551 --> 00:09:19,344 [ whispers]: coma. 241 00:09:19,413 --> 00:09:20,861 Permanent? 242 00:09:20,931 --> 00:09:22,654 That's completely out of character for Antonio. 243 00:09:22,724 --> 00:09:23,895 I'm getting up. 244 00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:26,379 Curse the tragic wildebeest accident that... 245 00:09:26,447 --> 00:09:27,826 [ rapping]: ♪ Hey, everyone! ♪ 246 00:09:27,895 --> 00:09:30,413 ♪ Antonio here, but you can call me Bender ♪ 247 00:09:30,481 --> 00:09:33,000 ♪ I got ants in my butt and I needs to strut ♪ 248 00:09:33,067 --> 00:09:34,688 ♪ Come on, baby, do, ah, do ♪ 249 00:09:34,758 --> 00:09:36,136 [ puffing] 250 00:09:36,206 --> 00:09:39,102 ♪ Dee, dah, doda, booba, dah, boo, come on ♪ 251 00:09:39,172 --> 00:09:40,654 ♪ Do, dee, bee, bah, boo... ♪ 252 00:09:40,724 --> 00:09:45,102 I'm... not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing. 253 00:09:45,172 --> 00:09:46,895 ♪ Bite my shiny metal ass ♪ 254 00:09:46,965 --> 00:09:48,826 ♪ Ooh, yeah, come on, baby, yeah ♪ 255 00:09:48,895 --> 00:09:50,688 ♪ Ooh, uh, come on, yeah... ♪ 256 00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:51,931 Cut! 257 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,793 That's the worst coma acting I've ever seen! 258 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:55,274 We'll have to shoot it again. 259 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:58,481 No. No, no, no, I don't do two takes. 260 00:09:58,551 --> 00:09:59,379 But this guy was... 261 00:09:59,447 --> 00:10:01,724 Amateurs like you do two takes. 262 00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:02,965 Ido one take. 263 00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:04,000 Print it. 264 00:10:04,067 --> 00:10:06,481 I'll be in my three-story trailer. 265 00:10:08,309 --> 00:10:09,654 ♪ Bite my shiny metal ass ♪ 266 00:10:09,724 --> 00:10:11,172 ♪ Ooh, yeah, come on, baby, yeah ♪ 267 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,654 ♪ Ooh, uh, come on, yeah... ♪ 268 00:10:13,724 --> 00:10:15,551 Now that'shospital dancing. 269 00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:16,826 Pretty good, eh, Calcy? 270 00:10:16,895 --> 00:10:18,206 Good? 271 00:10:18,274 --> 00:10:21,413 I've seen better acting from extras in Godzilla movies. 272 00:10:21,481 --> 00:10:24,379 CALCULON: I don't even remember shooting this scene. 273 00:10:24,447 --> 00:10:26,000 We didn't. 274 00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:28,758 That's security camera footage from your dressing room. 275 00:10:28,826 --> 00:10:30,654 He stole the scene andmy money? 276 00:10:30,724 --> 00:10:31,931 That's it! 277 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,379 I demand you fire this felonious ham! 278 00:10:33,447 --> 00:10:35,413 [ alarm sounding] 279 00:10:35,481 --> 00:10:37,931 The network execubots are coming! 280 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,309 Oh, dear God! 281 00:10:44,793 --> 00:10:47,000 Presenting the president of the network. 282 00:10:53,344 --> 00:10:54,551 Greetings, gentlemen. 283 00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,344 You already know my execubots. 284 00:10:56,413 --> 00:10:57,620 Executive Alpha, programmed 285 00:10:57,688 --> 00:10:59,240 to like things it has seen before. 286 00:10:59,309 --> 00:11:00,413 Hey, hey, hey. 287 00:11:00,481 --> 00:11:02,688 Executive Beta, programmed to roll dice 288 00:11:02,758 --> 00:11:04,274 to determine the fall schedule. 289 00:11:06,413 --> 00:11:07,758 More reality shows. 290 00:11:07,826 --> 00:11:08,965 And Executive Gamma 291 00:11:09,033 --> 00:11:11,067 programmed to underestimate middle America. 292 00:11:11,136 --> 00:11:14,309 It's funny, but is it going to get them off their tractors? 293 00:11:14,379 --> 00:11:17,965 Now, who put this obnoxious dancing robot on my network? 294 00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:19,586 We were about to fire him, sir. 295 00:11:19,654 --> 00:11:21,102 Silence, hack! 296 00:11:21,172 --> 00:11:23,724 We've been monitoring our Nielsen families carefully 297 00:11:23,793 --> 00:11:26,620 and during the 12 seconds Bender was onscreen 298 00:11:26,688 --> 00:11:29,793 viewer eyeball focus was up 90%. 299 00:11:29,861 --> 00:11:31,724 [ dog panting] 300 00:11:31,793 --> 00:11:34,033 But, sir, children watch this show. 301 00:11:34,102 --> 00:11:35,688 Bender's no role model. 302 00:11:35,758 --> 00:11:37,206 He's a filth monger. 303 00:11:37,274 --> 00:11:39,447 At our network, we love filth. 304 00:11:39,517 --> 00:11:41,379 Filthy rich, that is. 305 00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:44,413 Being filthy rich, that is. 306 00:11:44,481 --> 00:11:45,724 [ laughing] 307 00:11:45,793 --> 00:11:48,274 [ electrical buzzing] 308 00:11:48,344 --> 00:11:51,206 [ all laughing] 309 00:11:51,274 --> 00:11:54,447 "Bite my shiny metal ass" could be a catch-phrase. 310 00:11:54,517 --> 00:11:55,447 80% likely. 311 00:11:55,517 --> 00:11:56,861 It will play in Peoria. 312 00:11:56,931 --> 00:11:59,309 Game shows are back. 313 00:11:59,379 --> 00:12:03,033 We need this edgy, sweeps-ready robot on our network. 314 00:12:03,102 --> 00:12:06,447 Bender, can you continue to drink, smoke 315 00:12:06,517 --> 00:12:08,172 and steal things on TV? 316 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:09,586 Yes, I can. 317 00:12:09,654 --> 00:12:12,447 ♪ We're gonna have a TV party tonight ♪ 318 00:12:12,517 --> 00:12:13,861 ♪ All right♪ 319 00:12:13,931 --> 00:12:18,688 ♪ We're gonna have a TV party, all right! ♪ 320 00:12:18,758 --> 00:12:19,861 ♪ All right!♪ 321 00:12:19,931 --> 00:12:24,724 ♪ We've got nothing better to do ♪ 322 00:12:24,793 --> 00:12:28,931 ♪ Than watch TV and have a couple of brews ♪ 323 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,861 Gonna shoot things. 324 00:12:30,931 --> 00:12:33,758 ♪ All our friends are gonna hang out here tonight ♪ 325 00:12:33,826 --> 00:12:35,793 ♪ All right!♪ 326 00:12:35,861 --> 00:12:38,758 ♪ We'll pass out on the couch, all right! ♪ 327 00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,724 [ laughing] 328 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:44,240 Yo, check out what I jacked from my dad. 329 00:12:44,309 --> 00:12:45,274 A cigar? 330 00:12:45,344 --> 00:12:46,447 Ripping. 331 00:12:48,586 --> 00:12:51,240 [ deep voice]: Look, I'm Bender. 332 00:12:51,309 --> 00:12:52,240 [ gags] 333 00:12:52,309 --> 00:12:54,067 [ retching] 334 00:12:54,136 --> 00:12:55,172 [ grunts] 335 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:58,861 Ras H. Tafari, what's going on here?! 336 00:12:58,931 --> 00:13:00,620 The ruffians smoked 337 00:13:00,688 --> 00:13:02,688 one of your cigars. 338 00:13:02,758 --> 00:13:03,965 that's not a cigar! 339 00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,688 Uh... and it's not mine. 340 00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:09,309 Hey, Dad, bite my shiny metal ass! 341 00:13:09,379 --> 00:13:10,793 What? 342 00:13:10,861 --> 00:13:13,724 Such an act would be most uncomfortable for both of us. 343 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,724 Where did you learn such language? 344 00:13:15,793 --> 00:13:17,758 From Bender, my good jerkwad. 345 00:13:17,826 --> 00:13:19,067 Bender, eh? 346 00:13:19,136 --> 00:13:22,240 That guy's really starting to twist my dreds. 347 00:13:24,274 --> 00:13:25,102 Okay, okay, okay. 348 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,240 Get ready for this part. 349 00:13:26,309 --> 00:13:27,206 Quiet, robot. 350 00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:28,551 Bender's on TV. 351 00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:30,586 Oh, Calculon 352 00:13:30,654 --> 00:13:32,758 it's so good to get away from the city 353 00:13:32,826 --> 00:13:35,067 and that beastly yet intriguing Bender. 354 00:13:35,136 --> 00:13:36,067 [ gasps] 355 00:13:36,136 --> 00:13:39,274 [ gulping] 356 00:13:39,344 --> 00:13:40,481 Whoo! 357 00:13:40,551 --> 00:13:42,724 And try this, kids at home. 358 00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:46,000 Is television sensation Bender 359 00:13:46,067 --> 00:13:48,688 a bad role model for Earth's children? 360 00:13:48,758 --> 00:13:50,861 [ gasps]: That's crazy. 361 00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:54,206 A new protest group, Father's Against Rude Television 362 00:13:54,274 --> 00:13:55,517 says, "Hell, yes." 363 00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:57,067 [ scoffs]: What kind of bozos 364 00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:59,102 would start a Bender protest group? 365 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,620 Good news, everyone. 366 00:14:00,688 --> 00:14:04,688 Hermes and I have started a Bender protest group. 367 00:14:04,758 --> 00:14:06,067 That was uncanny. 368 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,758 Fathers Against Rude Television 369 00:14:07,826 --> 00:14:11,379 don't want our kids watching Bender's high-definition filth. 370 00:14:11,447 --> 00:14:12,309 And for what? 371 00:14:12,379 --> 00:14:14,309 Some kind of cheap laugh? 372 00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:17,309 That's not what F.A.R.T. is all about. 373 00:14:17,379 --> 00:14:19,688 No, sir. Not us FARTers. 374 00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:21,620 Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't censor me 375 00:14:21,688 --> 00:14:24,206 just 'cause I'm an obscenely bad role model. 376 00:14:24,274 --> 00:14:27,136 As unclean as it makes me feel, I agree with Bender. 377 00:14:27,206 --> 00:14:30,000 Kids don't turn rotten just from watching TV. 378 00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:33,136 Yeah, give a little credit to our public schools. 379 00:14:37,102 --> 00:14:38,517 [ groans] 380 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:42,102 Our dads are all pumped up on dorkosterone. 381 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,620 We're just trying to be cool, like Bender. 382 00:14:44,688 --> 00:14:46,413 Yeah, and it's not even working. 383 00:14:46,481 --> 00:14:48,551 Smoking and drinking make us barf. 384 00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:52,274 Gentle jerkwads, I know how to emulate Bender without barfing. 385 00:14:52,344 --> 00:14:53,895 We could commit a burglary. 386 00:14:53,965 --> 00:14:54,931 Hey, yeah! 387 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,586 Bender loves to burgle. 388 00:14:56,654 --> 00:14:58,172 Hold up, though. Who could we rob? 389 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,447 We don't even know anyone with cool stuff. 390 00:15:00,517 --> 00:15:05,379 Duh! We know someone who runs on pure cool fuel-- Bender. 391 00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:06,136 Whoa! 392 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,447 We'll rob Bender. 393 00:15:07,517 --> 00:15:08,481 [ laughing] 394 00:15:08,551 --> 00:15:11,379 TV gave us the idea. 395 00:15:11,447 --> 00:15:13,379 BENDER: You're watchingFuturama-- 396 00:15:13,447 --> 00:15:17,586 the show that does not advocate the cool crime of robbery. 397 00:15:25,344 --> 00:15:29,481 Okay, it's crime time. 398 00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:37,758 [ slurping] 399 00:15:37,826 --> 00:15:38,931 [ gulping] 400 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,688 Hey, Bender. 401 00:15:41,688 --> 00:15:43,274 Hey, Bender. 402 00:15:44,551 --> 00:15:45,861 Hey, Bender. 403 00:15:45,931 --> 00:15:47,274 [ Dwight grunting] 404 00:15:47,344 --> 00:15:48,620 [ phone ringing] 405 00:15:48,688 --> 00:15:50,033 Hey, Bender. 406 00:15:50,102 --> 00:15:52,033 ♪ Bust it ♪ 407 00:15:52,102 --> 00:15:54,447 [ upbeat music playing] 408 00:15:54,517 --> 00:15:56,895 [ lively party chatter and laughter] 409 00:15:56,965 --> 00:15:58,793 [ music, laughter and chatter continuing] 410 00:16:00,344 --> 00:16:01,551 [ laughter] 411 00:16:03,586 --> 00:16:04,895 [ retching] 412 00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,481 ♪ Okay, smarty, go to a party ♪ 413 00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:10,000 ♪ Girls are scantily clad and showin' body ♪ 414 00:16:10,067 --> 00:16:11,000 ♪ A chick walks by... ♪ 415 00:16:11,067 --> 00:16:12,000 [ gasps] 416 00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,136 [ record scratching] 417 00:16:13,206 --> 00:16:14,447 What's going on in here? 418 00:16:14,517 --> 00:16:19,136 Oh, now I'm really outraged. 419 00:16:19,206 --> 00:16:21,102 Where did you requisition this party? 420 00:16:21,172 --> 00:16:23,274 And Zoidberg, what are you doing here? 421 00:16:23,344 --> 00:16:24,517 I'm networking. 422 00:16:24,586 --> 00:16:26,586 Let me give you my card. 423 00:16:26,654 --> 00:16:30,000 Relax, Dad, we just invited a few friends over. 424 00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:31,102 Hmm... 425 00:16:31,172 --> 00:16:33,551 There's something wrong with your story 426 00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:35,688 but I can't put my finger on it. 427 00:16:35,758 --> 00:16:38,758 [ gasping]: Of course, you don't have friends. 428 00:16:38,826 --> 00:16:40,517 Yeah, why do these popular kids 429 00:16:40,586 --> 00:16:42,654 consider you cool all of a sudden? 430 00:16:42,724 --> 00:16:44,517 Um, we're just cool is all. 431 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:45,931 Balderdash! 432 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,793 I'll be the judge of who's cool, using the Coolometer. 433 00:16:49,861 --> 00:16:52,724 [ beeping] 434 00:16:52,793 --> 00:16:56,793 [ beeping stops] 435 00:16:56,861 --> 00:17:00,586 [ beeping] 436 00:17:00,654 --> 00:17:02,758 [ beeping rapidly] 437 00:17:02,826 --> 00:17:04,309 Oh, yeah. 438 00:17:04,378 --> 00:17:08,619 Good Lord, I'm getting a reading of over 40 megafonzies. 439 00:17:08,689 --> 00:17:09,689 Everybody out! 440 00:17:09,758 --> 00:17:10,931 [ kids groaning, grumbling] 441 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:14,826 So, do you guys know about anything else going on? 442 00:17:14,895 --> 00:17:18,103 Because I'm totally still ready to party. 443 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:23,172 There's enough cool stuff here to furnish a happening pad. 444 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,689 Where did it all come from? 445 00:17:24,758 --> 00:17:26,275 Don't tell, comrades. 446 00:17:26,344 --> 00:17:28,378 All for one and one for all! 447 00:17:28,448 --> 00:17:30,723 [ crying]: We stole it. 448 00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:31,895 Oh, crumb. 449 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:34,654 [ yawning] 450 00:17:34,723 --> 00:17:35,862 What? 451 00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:37,309 What's going on? 452 00:17:37,378 --> 00:17:38,654 I'll tell you what. 453 00:17:38,723 --> 00:17:40,792 Our boys have taken up stealing-- 454 00:17:40,862 --> 00:17:43,378 one of the worst and coolest of crimes. 455 00:17:43,448 --> 00:17:46,550 And all from watching you on TV, you cool jerk. 456 00:17:46,619 --> 00:17:47,550 Hey, lay off me. 457 00:17:47,619 --> 00:17:48,931 TV would stink 458 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,309 if everyone on it was a positive role model. 459 00:17:51,378 --> 00:17:53,413 Bender is about entertainment, baby. 460 00:17:53,481 --> 00:17:55,103 You can't hold me responsible 461 00:17:55,172 --> 00:17:56,619 for what kids do when... 462 00:17:56,689 --> 00:17:59,034 Hey, this is my stuff they stole! 463 00:17:59,103 --> 00:18:00,619 That's the last straw! 464 00:18:00,689 --> 00:18:03,619 Bender should not be allowed on television! 465 00:18:03,689 --> 00:18:04,931 [ angry shouting] 466 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,205 BENDER: Bender must be stopped. 467 00:18:07,275 --> 00:18:08,517 I've gone too far. 468 00:18:08,586 --> 00:18:10,550 Who does that guy think I am? 469 00:18:10,619 --> 00:18:12,448 [ shouting agreement] 470 00:18:12,517 --> 00:18:16,067 Come on, we're going to march all the way to Hollywood 471 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:20,136 and make them stop forcing their filthy me down our throats. 472 00:18:20,205 --> 00:18:23,136 [ shouting continues] 473 00:18:23,205 --> 00:18:26,586 [ chanting]: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 474 00:18:39,275 --> 00:18:42,758 [ all chanting]: Down with Bender! Down with Bender! 475 00:18:42,826 --> 00:18:44,792 Down with Bender! 476 00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:46,172 Down with Bender! 477 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:47,309 This mob's with me. 478 00:18:47,378 --> 00:18:48,448 Go ahead. 479 00:18:48,517 --> 00:18:51,309 Down with Bender! Down with Bender! 480 00:18:51,378 --> 00:18:54,550 Down with Bender! Down with Bender! 481 00:18:54,619 --> 00:18:56,136 Down with... 482 00:18:59,413 --> 00:19:00,448 ...Bender! 483 00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:01,826 Down with Bender! 484 00:19:01,895 --> 00:19:05,758 As a doctor and captain of this hospital ship 485 00:19:05,826 --> 00:19:08,205 I now pronounce you man and wife 486 00:19:08,275 --> 00:19:10,481 with six months to live. 487 00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:13,240 Listen up, Hollywood. 488 00:19:13,309 --> 00:19:14,550 We're an exciting new mob. 489 00:19:14,619 --> 00:19:15,619 [ all agreeing] 490 00:19:15,689 --> 00:19:17,103 HERMES: You better believe it. 491 00:19:17,172 --> 00:19:18,481 Great Shatner's ghost! 492 00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:22,275 We demand that all TV be equipped with a B-chip 493 00:19:22,344 --> 00:19:24,586 that blocks Bender from appearing on the screen. 494 00:19:24,654 --> 00:19:26,000 [ all agreeing] 495 00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:31,931 I'm afraid the answer is a gritty, in-your-face no. 496 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,034 Then I quit. 497 00:19:33,103 --> 00:19:34,517 Then you don't quit. 498 00:19:37,689 --> 00:19:40,792 I think you'll be finishing the scene now, Mr. Bender 499 00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:42,689 and don't skimp on the nasty. 500 00:19:42,758 --> 00:19:44,517 There'll be no further nasty. 501 00:19:44,586 --> 00:19:47,826 We still have the option of resorting to violence. 502 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:49,862 What makes you think that will work? 503 00:19:49,931 --> 00:19:54,172 I saw it on TV in that episode where Bender shot Calculon. 504 00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,723 How cool was that. 505 00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:56,862 ♪ Ooh, yeah, come on... ♪ 506 00:19:56,931 --> 00:19:58,172 [ sputtering] 507 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,378 Quit the show. 508 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:00,862 Do the scene. 509 00:20:00,931 --> 00:20:02,931 I'm a cold-blooded punk. 510 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,619 I once put a laugh track on a sitcom that had no jokes in it. 511 00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:08,964 Hey, look, the prop guy has a lamp. 512 00:20:09,034 --> 00:20:10,205 Whuh...? Really? 513 00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:11,517 Aha! 514 00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,240 I was using that. 515 00:20:13,309 --> 00:20:15,895 Listen up, 'cause I've got a climatic speech. 516 00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:18,378 You, cameraman, keep the camera rolling. 517 00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:20,689 You, director, give me my motivation. 518 00:20:20,758 --> 00:20:21,586 You're angry. 519 00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:22,723 Perfect. 520 00:20:22,792 --> 00:20:24,481 Viewers of the world 521 00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:28,103 do smoking and drinking on TV really make me cool? 522 00:20:28,172 --> 00:20:30,448 Of course they do. 523 00:20:30,517 --> 00:20:32,689 How about committing crimes and violence? 524 00:20:32,758 --> 00:20:34,378 Again, the answer is yes. 525 00:20:34,448 --> 00:20:36,826 But do we really want our kids exposed 526 00:20:36,895 --> 00:20:38,689 to that kind of trash on TV? 527 00:20:38,758 --> 00:20:41,275 I say absolutely not. 528 00:20:42,792 --> 00:20:44,413 [ clearing throat] 529 00:20:44,481 --> 00:20:48,689 Uh... on the other hand, most... perhaps all the blame 530 00:20:48,758 --> 00:20:50,103 rests with the parents. 531 00:20:50,172 --> 00:20:51,586 That's right, you. 532 00:20:51,654 --> 00:20:53,619 [ all gasping] 533 00:20:53,689 --> 00:20:57,067 And so I ask you this one question: 534 00:20:57,136 --> 00:21:01,136 Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV 535 00:21:01,205 --> 00:21:05,000 sitting down with your children and hitting them? 536 00:21:05,067 --> 00:21:07,000 We're just so busy. 537 00:21:07,067 --> 00:21:08,344 Well, make time. 538 00:21:08,413 --> 00:21:09,826 And... cut. 539 00:21:09,895 --> 00:21:11,586 Good enough. 540 00:21:11,654 --> 00:21:13,654 Splice in some reaction shots of me 541 00:21:13,723 --> 00:21:15,275 and shove it on the air. 542 00:21:17,792 --> 00:21:21,067 Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV 543 00:21:21,136 --> 00:21:24,931 sitting down with your children and hitting them? 544 00:21:26,517 --> 00:21:28,448 Well, I'd say we all learned a valuable lesson 545 00:21:28,517 --> 00:21:30,344 about TV there. 546 00:21:30,413 --> 00:21:31,723 What was it? 547 00:21:31,792 --> 00:21:35,931 Uh, that we should all take TV a little less seriously. 548 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:38,895 And more importantly, turn it off once in a while. 549 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:40,964 Hear! Hear! Darn right. 550 00:21:41,034 --> 00:21:43,000 So, should we turn it off now? 551 00:21:43,067 --> 00:21:46,309 Well, uh... that depends what's on. 552 00:21:46,378 --> 00:21:47,205 [ control beeping] 553 00:21:47,275 --> 00:21:48,586 Nothing good. 554 00:21:48,654 --> 00:21:52,205 Eh, let's just keep watching. 555 00:21:57,309 --> 00:21:58,931 BENDER: ♪ TV party tonight ♪ 556 00:21:59,000 --> 00:21:59,895 PROFESSOR: Whuh? 557 00:21:59,964 --> 00:22:02,309 ♪ TV party tonight ♪ 558 00:22:02,378 --> 00:22:05,344 LEELA: ♪ We've got nothing better to do ♪ 559 00:22:05,413 --> 00:22:08,550 ♪ Than watch TV and have a couple of brews♪ 560 00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:12,275 ZOIDBERG: ♪ Don't want to talk about anything else ♪ 561 00:22:12,344 --> 00:22:14,826 FRY: ♪ We don't want to know ♪ 562 00:22:14,895 --> 00:22:16,964 PROFESSOR: ♪ We're dedicated... ♪ 563 00:22:17,034 --> 00:22:19,448 HERMES: ♪ To our favorite shows: ♪ 564 00:22:19,517 --> 00:22:21,240 CUBERT: ♪ All my Circuits♪ 565 00:22:21,309 --> 00:22:23,240 DWIGHT: ♪ Everybody Loves Hypno-Toad♪ 566 00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:25,275 TINNY TIM: ♪ Scary Door♪ 567 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:27,275 BENDER: ♪ Futurama.♪