1
00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:28,701
(GROANS) Oh, I fear
I may not survive this
war reenactment.

2
00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:31,859
I can't believe we're only
12 feet from the parking lot.

3
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:35,489
(CHUCKLES) This is
every bit as fun
as the real Civil War.

4
00:00:35,577 --> 00:00:39,657
Not the Civil War, Private.
We're reenacting
the Sith-il War.

5
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,748
Sith? What the Hoth?

6
00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:44,594
Enemy invaders!
Up in yonder sky!

7
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:01,443
I am Darth Stroyer.

8
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,230
Darth Stroyer?
That's the stupidest
name I've ever heard.

9
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,435
Let's hear the rest.

10
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:08,737
Darth Trocious.

11
00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:10,651
Darth Sploder.

12
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,860
Darth Urderer.

13
00:01:13,699 --> 00:01:15,319
Darth lt-head.

14
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,195
Company, attack!

15
00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:21,656
(ALL SHOUTING)

16
00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:27,959
Don't fire until you see
the greens of their eyes!

17
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:29,587
It saves on bullets.

18
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,006
(BARKING)

19
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:47,772
I shall rip out your heart
and show it to you.

20
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:49,317
(BEEPS)

21
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:50,781
It is done.

22
00:01:50,903 --> 00:01:54,613
The candle that
burns twice as bright
burns half as long.

23
00:01:58,702 --> 00:01:59,872
(EXCLAIMS)

24
00:02:00,329 --> 00:02:01,749
(BEEPS)
You're dead.

25
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:04,250
No, I'm just very old.

26
00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,170
Whoa. That's good acting.

27
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,295
(GUN COCKING)
It's payback time,
Sploder.

28
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,295
(BEEPS)

29
00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:22,982
Tell my mother to pick me up
outside Quiznos.

30
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,146
That's three dead.

31
00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:28,312
Let's pick up the pace,
people.

32
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,818
At this point in
the actual war,

33
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,280
the death toll
was 98 million.

34
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:35,906
(CHUCKLES) You humans
and your fragile organs.

35
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,569
One little stab
to the goo, and...
(IMITATES SQUIRTING)

36
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:39,989
(EXCLAIMS)
(BEEPS)

37
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:41,947
You're dead, Earth man.

38
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,911
Cruel fate, I'm dead.

39
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,083
They're putting me
in my Sunday suit

40
00:02:47,209 --> 00:02:49,129
and shoving me
in a wooden box.

41
00:02:50,087 --> 00:02:54,087
Now they're lowering me
into the cold, cold ground.

42
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:57,393
Hello,
here come the worms.
(LAUGHING)

43
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,965
If you were really dead,
you wouldn't be
laughing so hard.

44
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:05,056
Yeah, death's a big deal
to you flesh bags.

45
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:08,153
But in case you
didn't notice,
I'm a robot.

46
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:11,230
So? What if something heavy
fell on you, like a church?

47
00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,396
You could still die.

48
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:13,694
Nuh-uh!

49
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:16,987
My wireless backup unit
saves a copy of me every day.

50
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,572
So, if my body gets killed,
big whoop,

51
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,828
I just download
into another body.

52
00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,200
I'm immortal, baby.

53
00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:25,197
What? Then how come
you always scream

54
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:26,909
so much when
you're in danger?

55
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,674
I never said I wasn't
a drama queen.

56
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,995
And the winner
of the war is...

57
00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:36,006
Let me just cross-check
my tabulation here.

58
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,376
Factor in the corsages
for the widows...

59
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:41,258
Hurry up,
you number-crunching
crumb-nuncher!

60
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:43,716
Everybody but me
is dying of old age!

61
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:45,139
Okay.

62
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:50,609
The winners, at a net cost
of only $12 per life cut
tragically short,

63
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,649
our Sith Overlords!

64
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:54,026
Yeah!
Yes!

65
00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:56,569
Hot diggity. I mean,

66
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:59,663
(IMITATES DARTH VADER)
Supreme diggity.

67
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:05,197
ALL: Good war,
good war, good war...

68
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,292
(ALL GROANING)

69
00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:15,340
It may have been a fake war,
but my scuffed knee
is all too real.

70
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:19,092
I've got pains in joints
I had removed a century ago.

71
00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:22,756
Bender, bring me
my soft chair with
the wheels on it.

72
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:25,346
Your wheelchair?
I don't need a wheelchair!

73
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,272
The one with the wheels!

74
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,441
Poor flimsy humans.

75
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,019
Don't you wish you were
flawless like me?

76
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,645
A towering inferno of
physical perfection?

77
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:38,323
I hate to pop
your blimp-like ego,
but you are not perfect.

78
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,953
Am so.
Are not.

79
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,660
Is too!
Says who?

80
00:04:41,740 --> 00:04:45,700
Says the only human
whose opinion I even
remotely respect.

81
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:52,455
Inspector 5,
the best inspector
a kid could want.

82
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,876
The day I was built,
he looked me over,

83
00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,295
probably with tears
of pride in his eyes,

84
00:04:57,381 --> 00:04:59,341
and proclaimed
to all the world,

85
00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,466
by means of this
scrap of paper,

86
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:05,431
that I was perfect and
infallible in every way.

87
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,434
Hey, Mr. Perfect,

88
00:05:07,516 --> 00:05:09,176
you wet the chair.

89
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:13,897
Huh? It wasn't me.
Must be some of that urine
you're all so proud of.

90
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,362
That's not urine.
It's oil.

91
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:20,702
Impossible.
I'm triple-sealed to
prevent any chance of...

92
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:22,109
(SHRIEKS)

93
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:25,117
You call that
an ink defense?

94
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:26,779
(EXCLAIMS)

95
00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:29,952
Goodbye, friends.

96
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,617
What could have
caused the leak?

97
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:35,919
Excessive heat,
on account of
I'm so hot?

98
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,876
Alas, no.

99
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:42,343
Oh, Bender, I'm afraid it's
a symptom of a fatal defect.

100
00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:43,926
Yeah, fatal, schmatal.

101
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,761
If I die, I can just
download my backup copy

102
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,307
into a new,
equally fabulous body.

103
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:54,441
That's just it. You can't!
You were built without
a backup unit!

104
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,689
There's no backup
copy of me?

105
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,404
That's what I just said,
you mortal coil.

106
00:06:00,652 --> 00:06:02,152
So, if I die...

107
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,777
You die.
Or as you put it...
(RASPS)

108
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,526
Excuse me for a moment.

109
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:16,710
(SHOUTING) No!

110
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:25,094
I can't believe it!
I'm gonna die!

111
00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:27,507
How much time
does he have left,
Professor?

112
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:30,136
Between a minute
and a billion years.

113
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,428
Well, at least you
can plan accordingly.

114
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,017
Dying sucks butt!

115
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,442
How do you living beings
cope with mortality?

116
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,771
Violent outbursts.

117
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,148
General sluttiness.

118
00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,322
Thanks to denial,
I'm immortal.

119
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,491
Damn it,
I'm supposed
to be perfect!

120
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,110
Inspector 5 gave me
his blessing!

121
00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:48,818
How could he bring me
into this world
knowing I would die?

122
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,199
So you wish you
were never born, maybe?

123
00:06:51,286 --> 00:06:55,406
Yes, anything less
than immortality is
a complete waste of time!

124
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:57,079
Then suicide it is.

125
00:06:57,167 --> 00:07:00,537
Step into my office.
I'll give you
a nice Kevorking.

126
00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:04,799
Not until I hunt down
Inspector 5 and beat
an explanation out of him!

127
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,643
I'm all for a good beating,
but you'll never find him.

128
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,719
Product inspectors
are bureaucrats,

129
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:12,555
faceless bean-counters
who blend into the woodwork.

130
00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:14,228
I beg to differ.

131
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,522
Stinking bureaucrats.
I hate them!

132
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,940
Then again,
you might be able
to find Inspector 5

133
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,193
with the help of another
seasoned bureaucrat.

134
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:24,106
Hermes, old pal.

135
00:07:24,194 --> 00:07:27,914
Old pal? 8.5 seconds ago,
you said you hated me.

136
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,949
Time heals all wounds.

137
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:32,163
You know what?
I will help you,

138
00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:35,334
but only to prove I'm not
just a paper-pushing
file jockey.

139
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,623
Will you be taking your
portable filing cabinet?

140
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,039
None of your beeswax.

141
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,631
I'll only be away an hour,
but I'm counting on you

142
00:07:43,713 --> 00:07:46,053
to do the all-critical
filing in my absence.

143
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,473
Shall we review
alphabetical order?

144
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:49,932
(SINGING)
A, B, C, D...

145
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,351
Get out of my office!

146
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,942
Yes, I'd like to request
a death certificate.

147
00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,438
Sorry,
that's Building C.

148
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:05,902
The Central Bureaucracy
maintains records
on all bureaucrats.

149
00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:08,147
We should be able to
look up Inspector 5.

150
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,832
Application for
ingress approved.

151
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,868
And the other
potential entrant?

152
00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:18,831
He's my pencil sharpener.

153
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:20,247
You betcha!

154
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:22,456
(WHIRRING)

155
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,170
Proceed.

156
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,861
I maintain a cubicle here
for weekend getaways.

157
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,994
Wow. Until now, I thought
giant cubes were exciting.

158
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,945
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

159
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:00,959
(MAN SHOUTS)

160
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,671
(PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)

161
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,800
I did like the part
where they screamed.

162
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:13,886
This is mine,
right next to
the center square.

163
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:18,180
Sorry, Hermes,
I drank all your Wite-Out.
(LAUGHING)

164
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:22,524
Once I log in, I can access
Inspector 5's profile.

165
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:26,730
(BUZZER SOUNDS)

166
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,396
Damn it, it won't go on!

167
00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:29,985
That's because
you're not me.

168
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,990
Hooray, it won't go on!

169
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,862
The bureaucra-scan
won't let anyone

170
00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:35,699
but the assigned
bureaucrat log in.

171
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,584
(AUTOMATED VOICE READING)

172
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:42,793
Also, you have
a rectangular mass
in your colon.

173
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,674
That's a calculator.
I ate it to gain its power.

174
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:49,762
You locate Inspector 5
while I slip into my
ass-kicking feet.

175
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:54,092
(GASPS) Sweet file-not-found
of Puget Sound.

176
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,887
His record's been blanked.

177
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:57,142
Oh, man!

178
00:09:57,222 --> 00:10:00,852
How am I gonna find
some anonymous guy
I don't know anything about?

179
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,774
I recommend the men's room
at the TWA Terminal.
(LAUGHING)

180
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:17,414
Okay, just file it
alphabetically.

181
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,492
(SINGING)
A, B, C, D...

182
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,080
Well, this requires
a little extra thought.

183
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:27,709
I'm a natural.

184
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,761
The information we need
will be here, in the
physical files.

185
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:35,338
Those bastards won't know
what leafed through them.

186
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,272
It's on.

187
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:48,859
(GRUNTS)

188
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,486
No! This is impossible!

189
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,395
Quit blacking out
and look at this.

190
00:10:55,613 --> 00:10:59,583
"Inspector 1, 2, 3, 4, 6."

191
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,239
There's no trace
of Inspector 5!

192
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,039
But 5's the one we want!

193
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:08,172
Maybe if I kicked
the asses of Inspector 2,
plus Inspector 3...

194
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,461
Addition never
solved anything, man.

195
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,915
Let's cut our losses
and go home.

196
00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:17,842
So I'm doomed to die,

197
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:20,927
and I'll never even
get to punch
whoever's responsible?

198
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,021
What's the point?

199
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:26,694
Bender, no! Suicide isn't
necessarily the answer.

200
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:30,270
It's not a suicide booth,
you lard-ass.
It's a phone booth.

201
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:33,032
They have phones
in booths now?

202
00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,939
Finally, I don't have to
lug this cell phone around.

203
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:45,079
Who the hell is this?
How did you get this number?

204
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:46,663
Is this the robot company?

205
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,378
'Cause I have a complaint
about a defective robot.

206
00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:50,829
His name is me!

207
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,422
A defective robot, you say?

208
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,010
Stay right there, dearie.

209
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:59,802
I'll have tech support
take care of you.

210
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,558
Well, things are
starting to look up.

211
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,720
Look up!

212
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,233
Who did you call?
Dial-a-bomb?

213
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:15,605
No, I just told
the robot company
I was defective.

214
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,855
You dumb cocktail shaker!

215
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:20,906
Mom won't allow
a defective product
to tarnish her good name!

216
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,030
She'll kill you!

217
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:24,737
Big whoop. I'll just
download into a new...

218
00:12:24,828 --> 00:12:27,538
Oh, right.
If I die, I die.

219
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,117
Speaking of which...
(MACHINE GUN FIRING)

220
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:31,997
You're right.
You're right.
You're right.

221
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,089
That's what you get
for calling tech support.

222
00:12:44,889 --> 00:12:46,179
(BOTH PANTING)

223
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,976
I can't run anymore.
I'll have to skip.

224
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:58,283
Just a few more feet.

225
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,361
We have to get to
that pile of dead bears
by 7:38.

226
00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:05,198
A pile of dead bears can
only mean one thing.
But what?

227
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,540
It's the 7:38!

228
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,077
Jump!

229
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:17,054
BENDER: Shoot!
Someone said shoot.

230
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,395
Well, we're boned.

231
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:38,574
No, we're not!

232
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:39,991
We just got to limbo.

233
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:43,859
But I'm not
designed to bend that low,
not without limbo music.

234
00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,945
(BULLETS STRIKING
RHYTHMICALLY)

235
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,534
That'll do it!

236
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,374
Ow! Ow! Ow! (GRUNTS)

237
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,656
We're gonna get fired.

238
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,919
Someone said fire.

239
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,295
(BENDER WHOOPING)

240
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:06,506
We did it!

241
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,346
Twelve straight hours
of limbo.

242
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,221
I haven't done that
since my honeymoon.

243
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,678
Hermes, Hermes,
remember that
flock of bats?

244
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:13,849
I sure do.

245
00:14:13,937 --> 00:14:15,097
That was fun.

246
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,305
BENDER: Where are we?

247
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:18,820
I have no idea.

248
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:21,443
(BOTH EXCLAIM)

249
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,743
Hey,
we're just a stone's throw
from Tijuana.

250
00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:31,908
See?

251
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:34,791
(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)

252
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:39,674
A rock has fallen here,
in the outskirts of Tijuana.

253
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,593
Is it within
the city limit?

254
00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:43,263
I think, yes.

255
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:44,381
Told you.

256
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:46,337
Hey, you want to
celebrate our escape?

257
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,347
Maybe grab a shot
of tequila and take in
a big-league cockfight?

258
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,220
Sure. No, wait.
I was built in Tijuana.

259
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,888
Maybe Inspector 5
still works there.

260
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:59,938
He better do some explaining
before I mash up
some face guacamole.

261
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:05,652
He's Mexican, I'm Mexican.
Let me handle this.

262
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,163
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

263
00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:10,869
Si!

264
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:12,579
Ouch-o!

265
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,581
Here are our passports,
visas,

266
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:18,376
and Homeland Security
permission slips,

267
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,209
notarized and starched.

268
00:15:22,171 --> 00:15:24,971
Okay. I also would
have accepted a bribe.

269
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:28,259
Nice work, butterball.

270
00:15:28,386 --> 00:15:31,556
You know,
I was in Italy last week.
(GASPS)

271
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:38,015
My birthplace.
It's closed!

272
00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,687
There's not even
a shrine to me.

273
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,612
With a gift shop,
selling piñatas of me!

274
00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:44,032
End of the line, man.

275
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:47,110
Come on, we can still catch
a twi-night double cockfight.

276
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:50,026
No, wait! What's that
in the Mexican garbage?

277
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,156
Looks like
a half-eaten cheese diaper.

278
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:53,373
No, next to that.

279
00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:57,868
A half-eaten
employee directory.

280
00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,462
Inspector 5's home address!

281
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:04,214
His ass-ias is gracias!

282
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,352
Where are you hiding,
you coward?

283
00:16:17,435 --> 00:16:19,595
Get out here and get
murdered like a man!

284
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:24,570
Bender, I'm afraid
our search is at an end.
He's obviously long gone.

285
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:25,981
Oh, yeah?

286
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:28,569
Well, maybe this is
him in a costume!

287
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:32,488
I'm gonna squeeze you
out of there like
Tijuana toothpaste!

288
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,498
Okay, Bender,
you're mortal.

289
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:44,134
And, okay,
Inspector 5 screwed up.

290
00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:47,422
But that just makes
the time you have left
all the more precious.

291
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:51,720
Do you really want to waste
the rest of your life
in a bitter, homicidal rage?

292
00:16:51,803 --> 00:16:54,353
No! Yes!

293
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,426
I don't know!

294
00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:08,106
Why?
Why did he do this to me?

295
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:11,446
All I wanted was
a little quality control.

296
00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:14,784
But he didn't care enough.
And now I'm gonna die!

297
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,696
I deserve better!
I'm Bender, damn it!

298
00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:20,908
I'm Bender!

299
00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,036
(SOBBING)

300
00:17:23,126 --> 00:17:25,996
There, there, man.
It's gonna be okay.

301
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:30,257
You are Bender,
which is something
Inspector 5 will never be.

302
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:34,014
You know what?
You're right.

303
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:36,045
He was just
a stupid bureaucrat.

304
00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:38,349
A stupid,
paper-pushing bureaucrat.

305
00:17:38,433 --> 00:17:41,063
A stupid l-dotting,
chair-squashing...

306
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,444
(CLEARS THROAT)
Oh.

307
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,020
No offense, Hermes.
You're not like that.

308
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,896
I mean,
you're exactly like that,
but you're okay!

309
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:51,744
In fact, I'm putting you
on the do-not-kill list.

310
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,872
Come on, fellow mortal.
We're in Tijuana.

311
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,490
I want to live a little.

312
00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:01,371
Help! I'm gonna die!
That's the opposite
of what I want!

313
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,378
Quick, run out the back!

314
00:18:08,463 --> 00:18:11,263
I'll hack into
Inspector 5's terminal
and fake your death,

315
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,720
so they'll call
off the kill-bots.

316
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,720
You know that
terminal is unhackable!

317
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,934
I'm not leaving you,
and that's final!

318
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,643
Good luck, buddy.

319
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,569
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Bender terminated.

320
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:32,942
Bender saved.

321
00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:37,908
(BEEPING)
Cease fire.
Mom called off the attack.

322
00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:40,542
Although I don't
see how it's her.
Someone said, "Howitzer!"

323
00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,576
Yeah!

324
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,535
All right! Yeah!

325
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,537
(GROANS)

326
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:57,472
(BENDER GASPS)

327
00:18:59,764 --> 00:19:00,894
He did it!

328
00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:04,266
And he's not looking back
at that cool explosion.

329
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,227
He's a hero!

330
00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,154
(ALARM BLARING)
What's happening?

331
00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:15,235
The phone's
been disconnected,
the ship's repossessed,

332
00:19:15,321 --> 00:19:16,991
and Zoidberg's
getting overcooked!

333
00:19:20,451 --> 00:19:22,241
This place never changes.

334
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,870
Leela, what in the name
of Jah happened?

335
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:28,499
Too much papers!
Not enough hiding plants!

336
00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:29,674
It's all right.

337
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,552
This place just needs
a one-hour bureaucratizing.

338
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:39,013
You make it
look so easy.

339
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,715
I've smoked a lot
of paperwork in my day.

340
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,176
Hey, Bender,
did you ever find

341
00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:45,056
that inspector guy
you were looking for?

342
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:47,392
Nah, but thanks
to this knucklehead,

343
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,770
I did find a new
outlook on life.

344
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,359
It's precious and sacred.

345
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,400
And you only get
so many millions of
years on this Earth.

346
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,105
So, let's get brick-faced!

347
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:57,735
(ALL CHEERING)

348
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,960
(NURSERY RHYME PLAYING)

349
00:20:09,292 --> 00:20:12,292
(WOMAN SINGING)
Little bird, little bird
Fly through my window

350
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:18,468
Little bird, little bird
Fly through my window

351
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,261
Find molasses candy

352
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:23,595
(BURPS)
Through my window,
my sugar lump

353
00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:26,731
Fly through my window,
my sugar lump

354
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:29,559
Find molasses candy

355
00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:42,874
Chickadee, chickadee
Fly through my window

356
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:45,540
Find molasses candy

357
00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:47,870
Through my window,
my sugar lump

358
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,705
Fly through my window,
my sugar lump

359
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:53,841
Find molasses candy

360
00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,296
ENGLISH - US - PSDH