1
00:00:34,171 --> 00:00:35,791
BENDER:
Ah, beer.

2
00:00:35,862 --> 00:00:37,172
So many choices

3
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,030
and it makes
so little difference.

4
00:00:39,103 --> 00:00:40,273
FRY:
How about Lobrau?

5
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:41,864
It has dots on it.

6
00:00:41,930 --> 00:00:45,030
Overruled! The choice
of champions is

7
00:00:45,103 --> 00:00:47,033
Pabst Blue Robot.I can't drink that.

8
00:00:47,103 --> 00:00:49,483
The metal shavings
make my throat bloody.

9
00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:53,001
Waah, waah, baby
wants his Zima.

10
00:00:53,067 --> 00:00:55,997
Hey, hey, hey,
we can all fight
when we're drunk.

11
00:00:56,067 --> 00:00:58,307
Now, listen, why don't we just
brew our own beer?

12
00:00:58,378 --> 00:01:00,028
You can brew your own beer?

13
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:03,383
Sure, the kids at the
Orphanarium used to
do it all the time.

14
00:01:03,448 --> 00:01:05,618
[ heavenly chord plays]

15
00:01:05,688 --> 00:01:06,858
[ crashing]

16
00:01:08,896 --> 00:01:10,716
Cursed bacteria of Liberia!

17
00:01:10,793 --> 00:01:13,593
My own son,
suspended from boarding school.

18
00:01:13,655 --> 00:01:14,755
It's not my fault, Dad.

19
00:01:14,826 --> 00:01:16,066
PROFESSOR:
And you, Cubert!

20
00:01:16,137 --> 00:01:18,027
I cloned you
from one of my warts

21
00:01:18,103 --> 00:01:20,523
and I can send you
straight back in there!

22
00:01:20,585 --> 00:01:21,475
Nuh-uh!

23
00:01:21,551 --> 00:01:22,761
What's going on?

24
00:01:22,826 --> 00:01:23,926
Is this angry yelling

25
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,550
or busted hearing aid yelling?

26
00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:27,660
I'm afraid it's both.What?!

27
00:01:27,724 --> 00:01:30,004
Now, hold on.
Everyone cool your daiquiris.

28
00:01:30,067 --> 00:01:33,277
Let's give the little vermin
a chance to explain themselves.

29
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:35,003
It was self-defense, Mom.

30
00:01:35,067 --> 00:01:37,687
Just look at this letter
the principal sent.

31
00:01:39,448 --> 00:01:41,308
We were in science class

32
00:01:41,378 --> 00:01:43,098
and we had just finished
building

33
00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:44,411
a miniature black hole.

34
00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:46,101
That was easy.

35
00:01:46,171 --> 00:01:47,661
Pretty scrawny
black hole.

36
00:01:47,723 --> 00:01:49,343
It must be hungry.

37
00:01:49,412 --> 00:01:50,552
[ scoffs]

38
00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:52,240
Black holes
don't need food.

39
00:01:52,310 --> 00:01:53,830
Neither do nerds!

40
00:01:57,655 --> 00:01:59,095
My Manwich!

41
00:01:59,171 --> 00:02:01,031
[ laughing]

42
00:02:01,102 --> 00:02:03,722
That's it, Brett--
you've compressed
our lunches

43
00:02:03,793 --> 00:02:05,693
to a singularity
for the last time!

44
00:02:05,757 --> 00:02:07,857
Salt him, Dwight!

45
00:02:07,930 --> 00:02:11,410
[ groaning]

46
00:02:11,481 --> 00:02:15,171
When I re-solidify, I'm going
to put you in a world of goop.

47
00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:16,720
[ both whimpering]

48
00:02:16,793 --> 00:02:18,593
See? That bully started it.

49
00:02:18,655 --> 00:02:21,895
We couldn't fight back with
brawn, so we used our brains.

50
00:02:21,965 --> 00:02:24,445
I warned you
not to use those things!

51
00:02:26,550 --> 00:02:29,720
Let's see, we've got
our malt, our hops...

52
00:02:29,793 --> 00:02:32,663
We just need a big,
disposable tub to mix it in.

53
00:02:32,723 --> 00:02:33,453
Yo.

54
00:02:37,620 --> 00:02:41,000
Now it needs to boil
for a couple hours.

55
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:44,966
[ whistling a tune]

56
00:02:45,033 --> 00:02:47,143
[ video game beeping]

57
00:02:47,206 --> 00:02:48,996
Dwight, you remember
the crew.
[ grunts]

58
00:02:49,067 --> 00:02:50,407
Crew, you remember Cubert?

59
00:02:50,481 --> 00:02:51,691
[ all grunt]

60
00:02:51,758 --> 00:02:54,168
Wonderful! Then I'm
sure you won't mind

61
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,000
being their legal
guardians for a month.

62
00:02:58,965 --> 00:03:00,335
Well, well

63
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:02,243
if it isn't my old friends

64
00:03:02,310 --> 00:03:03,720
Stretch-Pants...

65
00:03:03,793 --> 00:03:05,763
No-Pants and...

66
00:03:05,826 --> 00:03:06,926
Idiot.

67
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:09,410
We're making beer;
I'm the brewery.

68
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:11,101
I heard alcohol
makes you stupid.

69
00:03:11,171 --> 00:03:12,761
No, I'm... doesn't.

70
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,096
Actually, Dwight,
you're right--

71
00:03:15,171 --> 00:03:17,721
alcohol is very,
very bad.

72
00:03:17,793 --> 00:03:19,033
For children.

73
00:03:19,103 --> 00:03:22,213
But once you turn 21, it
becomes very, very good.

74
00:03:22,275 --> 00:03:23,545
So scram!

75
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,590
Oh, man,
I'm sick of this.[ grumbling]

76
00:03:25,655 --> 00:03:26,855
[ electronic beeping]

77
00:03:26,931 --> 00:03:28,141
Hey, Dad.

78
00:03:28,205 --> 00:03:30,995
What useless contraption
are you half-baking today?

79
00:03:31,068 --> 00:03:32,208
Whuh?

80
00:03:32,275 --> 00:03:34,925
Oh, this is my
latest invention--

81
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:39,070
a device that lets anyone
sound exactly like me.

82
00:03:39,137 --> 00:03:42,307
[ Professor's voice]:
Good news, everyone--
I'm a horse's butt.

83
00:03:42,378 --> 00:03:45,338
I am? That's not good news
at all, you little...

84
00:03:45,413 --> 00:03:46,553
[ whimpers like Professor]

85
00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:48,210
What's this device's
marketability?

86
00:03:48,275 --> 00:03:49,685
Who's the target consumer?

87
00:03:49,758 --> 00:03:53,138
There is no
target consumer--
only targets.

88
00:03:53,206 --> 00:03:55,586
Targets that will
tremble in fear

89
00:03:55,655 --> 00:03:57,995
as their new masters
hand down edicts

90
00:03:58,067 --> 00:04:00,407
in my glorious booming voice!

91
00:04:00,481 --> 00:04:04,661
[ own exaggerated voice]:
Now, quit pestering me,
you confounded scoundrels!

92
00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:07,523
[ to "Get Up, Stand Up"]:
♪ Stamp it, file it, oh, yeah ♪

93
00:04:07,586 --> 00:04:09,406
♪ Send it overnight... ♪

94
00:04:09,481 --> 00:04:10,931
Can I collate that?

95
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,030
No.Can I shred
these contracts?

96
00:04:13,103 --> 00:04:14,933
No!

97
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,650
Wow! A power stamper!

98
00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:20,143
[ all yelling]

99
00:04:22,413 --> 00:04:24,213
Now look at all the work
I got to do!

100
00:04:26,481 --> 00:04:27,521
Ow!

101
00:04:27,586 --> 00:04:30,716
[ both laughing]

102
00:04:30,793 --> 00:04:33,143
[ loud belch]

103
00:04:34,413 --> 00:04:36,793
Mm. The ingredients
are cooked

104
00:04:36,862 --> 00:04:39,622
and they've picked up some of
your natural robot flavorings.

105
00:04:39,689 --> 00:04:41,239
Time to add the yeast.

106
00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:46,450
Yeast? You mean... I'll have
a life-form growing inside me?

107
00:04:46,516 --> 00:04:48,686
[ voice breaking]:
It's so beautiful.

108
00:04:48,757 --> 00:04:50,027
[ blows nose]

109
00:04:50,103 --> 00:04:52,383
[ phone ringing]

110
00:04:52,447 --> 00:04:53,717
Talk to me.

111
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,623
This is Professor Farnsworth.

112
00:04:55,689 --> 00:04:59,169
I have an important delivery
for you and your dumb crew.

113
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:02,380
You must deliver a pizza
to Dogdoo Eight

114
00:05:02,447 --> 00:05:05,237
a planet at the edge
of the universe.

115
00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:08,410
[ Professor's voice]:
Sorry I can't come down
to say good-bye

116
00:05:08,481 --> 00:05:10,271
but I'm busy inventing
useless junk.

117
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,413
And I smell bad.

118
00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:13,591
[ both giggling]

119
00:05:13,654 --> 00:05:15,034
[ giggling continues]

120
00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:27,483
[ video game beeping]

121
00:05:30,274 --> 00:05:31,214
Hey!

122
00:05:31,274 --> 00:05:32,624
[ groans]

123
00:05:32,689 --> 00:05:35,689
If you were my kids, you'd
get quite a talking to.

124
00:05:35,757 --> 00:05:36,997
From your father.

125
00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:39,207
When he got home
from the senate.

126
00:05:39,274 --> 00:05:41,454
Oh, bother!
What have they done now?

127
00:05:41,516 --> 00:05:44,826
Those pork dumplings
sent us on a fake
pizza delivery!

128
00:05:44,896 --> 00:05:46,476
The address was
on Dogdoo Eight

129
00:05:46,550 --> 00:05:49,030
but the universe
ends right after
Dogdoo Seven.

130
00:05:49,103 --> 00:05:50,793
Child-mon, is this true?

131
00:05:50,862 --> 00:05:52,862
Yeah, but why are you
mad at us?

132
00:05:52,930 --> 00:05:56,620
Your dummy brigade
wasted a week on an
obviously fake mission.

133
00:05:56,689 --> 00:06:00,069
Plus, they're making bootleg
beer inside company property.

134
00:06:00,137 --> 00:06:02,167
Lies! Lies and slander!

135
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,690
[ loud belch]

136
00:06:03,757 --> 00:06:06,517
Accusing gentle Bender
of a misdeed?

137
00:06:06,586 --> 00:06:08,166
That's the last straw!

138
00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,380
You boys have been
underfoot long enough!

139
00:06:10,447 --> 00:06:12,827
You jerked the words
right out of my mouth.

140
00:06:12,896 --> 00:06:16,136
We're their fathers,
and it's high times
we acted like it.

141
00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:17,896
Ooh-hoo-hoo,
here comes violence.

142
00:06:17,964 --> 00:06:19,484
[ clears throat]

143
00:06:19,550 --> 00:06:21,450
Get a job,
you lazy kids.

144
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:25,930
Uh, I guess
if you want children beaten

145
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,900
you have to do it yourself.

146
00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:32,380
Come on, Dad,
shuffle faster!

147
00:06:32,447 --> 00:06:35,137
You don't want to miss
the unveiling of our
new company, do you?

148
00:06:35,206 --> 00:06:36,516
Company?

149
00:06:36,586 --> 00:06:37,646
[ laughing]

150
00:06:37,723 --> 00:06:39,143
How cute.

151
00:06:39,206 --> 00:06:40,716
What will you be peddling?

152
00:06:40,793 --> 00:06:42,723
Lemonade? Shoe shines?

153
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,213
Cootie insurance?

154
00:06:44,274 --> 00:06:47,004
Perhaps they've constructed
a teddy bear hospital.

155
00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,897
[ both chuckling]

156
00:06:48,965 --> 00:06:52,375
Actually, we're starting a
competing delivery company.

157
00:06:57,067 --> 00:07:00,027
Welcome to the world
of business.

158
00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:02,933
[ both grunting]

159
00:07:05,482 --> 00:07:08,102
[ both grunting]

160
00:07:08,172 --> 00:07:10,692
Hey, who's going to use
a delivery service

161
00:07:10,757 --> 00:07:12,377
with a kicked sign?

162
00:07:12,447 --> 00:07:13,897
Nobody, that's who!

163
00:07:13,964 --> 00:07:15,764
But we already have
a client signed up.

164
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:17,546
We're delivering
the Daily Supernova.

165
00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:18,690
[ Hermes chuckling]

166
00:07:18,757 --> 00:07:20,757
So your delivery company

167
00:07:20,826 --> 00:07:22,996
is just a cute,
harmless paper route.

168
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:24,337
Whew!

169
00:07:24,413 --> 00:07:26,653
No. It's a serious business.

170
00:07:26,723 --> 00:07:30,243
Yes, it's a tremendous
responsibility, all right.

171
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:31,960
[ chuckling]

172
00:07:32,033 --> 00:07:34,453
What if a paper were
to land in a puddle?

173
00:07:34,516 --> 00:07:37,136
Civilization as we know it
might get splashed.

174
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:38,966
[ both chuckling]

175
00:07:48,274 --> 00:07:50,144
DWIGHT:
Why do they always treat us

176
00:07:50,206 --> 00:07:51,826
like dumb kids?

177
00:07:51,896 --> 00:07:55,066
We're practically old enough to
find the Fox Network infantile.

178
00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:56,307
Yeah, we'll show them.

179
00:07:56,379 --> 00:07:57,789
All Awesome Express needs

180
00:07:57,862 --> 00:08:00,552
is a sturdy interstellar
delivery craft.

181
00:08:00,620 --> 00:08:02,030
Voila!

182
00:08:02,103 --> 00:08:03,723
You got a quarter?

183
00:08:11,481 --> 00:08:14,931
Man, the ad said
to allow four to six
seconds for delivery.

184
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,450
[ scoffs]:
More like seven.

185
00:08:17,516 --> 00:08:18,856
[ yells]

186
00:08:18,930 --> 00:08:21,960
I'm really starting
to swell up with beer.

187
00:08:22,033 --> 00:08:23,903
I must look ridiculous.

188
00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:26,034
No. You have a healthy glow.

189
00:08:26,103 --> 00:08:27,453
[ belches]:
Oh, my God!

190
00:08:27,516 --> 00:08:28,956
I just felt it ferment!

191
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:31,003
Ooh! Let me feel.

192
00:08:31,067 --> 00:08:33,137
Have you thought
about what to name it?

193
00:08:33,206 --> 00:08:35,826
I was thinking Benderbrau
if it's an ale;

194
00:08:35,895 --> 00:08:37,475
Botweiser if it's a lager.

195
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:40,211
I hope it's a lager,
so I can take it to a ball game.

196
00:08:40,274 --> 00:08:41,454
[ loud belch]

197
00:08:41,517 --> 00:08:43,967
[ laughs]Ooh! I felt that one!

198
00:08:44,033 --> 00:08:46,413
[ hammering and drilling]

199
00:08:46,481 --> 00:08:48,271
[ squeaking and clicking]

200
00:08:48,344 --> 00:08:51,274
Oh, there's a crack
in the hull here.

201
00:08:51,344 --> 00:08:53,934
That could cause
explosive decompression.

202
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,140
Put a sticker on it.

203
00:08:58,379 --> 00:09:00,449
Off on your first delivery, eh?

204
00:09:00,517 --> 00:09:02,857
You be careful,
my little tinkler.

205
00:09:02,931 --> 00:09:06,211
Remember we used
to call you that, huh? Tinkler?

206
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:09,383
Gets moving!

207
00:09:09,447 --> 00:09:12,377
Those newspapers won'ts
deliver themselveses.

208
00:09:12,447 --> 00:09:14,827
Only the Sunday edition
can do's that.

209
00:09:14,895 --> 00:09:19,685
Goodness, there must be
50 papers in that bundle.

210
00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:21,588
That's a big number, 50.

211
00:09:21,654 --> 00:09:23,244
Yeah, if you're an idiot.

212
00:09:26,413 --> 00:09:29,033
Three, two, one.

213
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,312
All systems go.

214
00:09:30,379 --> 00:09:31,649
Blastoff!

215
00:09:31,724 --> 00:09:34,274
[ pedals squeaking]

216
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:39,240
See you at din-din!

217
00:09:39,309 --> 00:09:40,549
I'm blowing you a kiss!

218
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:41,720
Mmmwah!

219
00:09:41,793 --> 00:09:42,903
[ blows]

220
00:09:42,965 --> 00:09:45,375
Aah! Take evasive action!

221
00:09:45,447 --> 00:09:49,027
PROFESSOR:
It's closing in.
You can't avoid it.

222
00:09:49,102 --> 00:09:51,002
It's a cheek seeker.

223
00:09:51,067 --> 00:09:53,407
And... gotcha!

224
00:09:53,481 --> 00:09:55,211
CUBERT:
No...!

225
00:09:55,274 --> 00:09:57,974
[ Cubert spitting repeatedly]

226
00:10:08,724 --> 00:10:12,454
[ dog barking]

227
00:10:12,517 --> 00:10:14,857
[ barking]

228
00:10:15,861 --> 00:10:17,651
[ dog squeals]

229
00:10:32,102 --> 00:10:33,002
Yeah!

230
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:34,137
[ both laughing]

231
00:10:38,931 --> 00:10:41,171
[ flashbulbs popping]

232
00:10:55,861 --> 00:10:57,761
Business is down,
so I have filed papers

233
00:10:57,826 --> 00:11:00,376
to have you all reclassified
as slaves.

234
00:11:00,447 --> 00:11:02,207
[ wheel squeaking]

235
00:11:02,274 --> 00:11:03,524
PROFESSOR:
Well, well

236
00:11:03,586 --> 00:11:06,786
if it isn't our little
munchkin moguls.

237
00:11:06,861 --> 00:11:08,931
Would you just...

238
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,240
What's the trouble, men?

239
00:11:10,309 --> 00:11:12,339
Need some penny rolls
for your profits?

240
00:11:12,413 --> 00:11:15,523
Actually, thanks to Dwight's
brilliant accounting

241
00:11:15,586 --> 00:11:18,266
and my unaccountable
brilliance [ snorts]

242
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:21,314
our paper route now has
over a million customers!

243
00:11:21,379 --> 00:11:24,589
We're finally making more money
than you guys!

244
00:11:24,654 --> 00:11:26,214
Aren't you impressed now, Pops?

245
00:11:26,274 --> 00:11:27,624
Aren't you? Aren't you?

246
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:30,448
Uh...
in a small way, yes.

247
00:11:30,517 --> 00:11:32,237
But you still don't have
your own building

248
00:11:32,309 --> 00:11:34,099
or conference table or...

249
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:35,522
or one of those things.

250
00:11:35,586 --> 00:11:37,236
Hello.

251
00:11:39,413 --> 00:11:42,173
Our dads are never impressed,
no matter what we do.

252
00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:43,860
Maybe we should
start a fire.

253
00:11:43,931 --> 00:11:45,521
If we really want
to impress them

254
00:11:45,586 --> 00:11:48,096
we'll have to crush them--
with strategy...

255
00:11:48,172 --> 00:11:51,072
"Dwight Lightning."

256
00:11:51,136 --> 00:11:54,896
Very well, but I get to
name the next strategy.

257
00:11:54,965 --> 00:11:56,645
ANNOUNCER:
This week

258
00:11:56,724 --> 00:11:58,554
on The Real World--
The Sun

259
00:11:58,620 --> 00:11:59,860
[ man screams]

260
00:11:59,931 --> 00:12:01,621
I'm burning to death!

261
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:02,898
Oh! You know
how much

262
00:12:02,965 --> 00:12:04,825
an apartment
that big would cost

263
00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:06,785
on the sun?

264
00:12:06,861 --> 00:12:08,931
People, as you know,
our young sons

265
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,590
have become
great successes

266
00:12:10,654 --> 00:12:12,414
in the very same
field as us.

267
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,141
Yay!That's great!
All right!

268
00:12:14,206 --> 00:12:16,206
Naturally,
we're humiliated.

269
00:12:16,274 --> 00:12:19,144
That's why we need you,
our loyal crew

270
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:22,516
to make Planet Express
800% more profitable.

271
00:12:22,586 --> 00:12:24,206
We'll start by slashing salaries

272
00:12:24,274 --> 00:12:26,244
and this time I mean
reallyslashing.

273
00:12:26,309 --> 00:12:28,619
Uh, guys, I don't know how
to tell you this

274
00:12:28,688 --> 00:12:31,448
so I'll just let Fry
blurt it out thoughtlessly.

275
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:33,137
We don't work
for you anymore!

276
00:12:33,206 --> 00:12:33,786
[ gasps]
What?!

277
00:12:33,861 --> 00:12:34,721
Dwight and Cubert

278
00:12:34,793 --> 00:12:35,903
made us a better offer.

279
00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:37,165
We're paperboys now.

280
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,310
Incoming! We got papers
to stuff, team.

281
00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:40,519
Hup to, hup to.

282
00:12:40,586 --> 00:12:41,686
Yes, sir.Right away.

283
00:12:41,758 --> 00:12:43,308
We're on it,
Mr. Farnsworth.

284
00:12:49,965 --> 00:12:53,545
Folks, the situation is grim,
but we shall prevail

285
00:12:53,620 --> 00:12:57,410
thanks to you,
our crack team of loyal dregs.

286
00:13:00,067 --> 00:13:02,237
I don't even know
who this guy is.

287
00:13:02,309 --> 00:13:04,029
I'm Scruffy, the janitor.

288
00:13:04,102 --> 00:13:05,692
Yes, of course you are.

289
00:13:05,758 --> 00:13:07,648
Now, we've got
to buckle down

290
00:13:07,724 --> 00:13:09,454
and save Planet Express.

291
00:13:09,517 --> 00:13:11,097
I'm on break.

292
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:18,830
[ slow crunching]

293
00:13:18,895 --> 00:13:21,855
Sorry to interrupt
this whirlwind of activity

294
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,931
but we have an announcement.

295
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,760
I direct your attention
to these forms

296
00:13:25,826 --> 00:13:28,166
which I'm presently engaged
in handing to you.

297
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:32,210
Sweet guinea pig of Winnipeg,
they've taken over our company.

298
00:13:32,274 --> 00:13:34,764
Balderdash! I never
agreed to that.

299
00:13:34,826 --> 00:13:36,716
No, but you did
declare yourself dead

300
00:13:36,793 --> 00:13:38,523
three years ago
as a tax dodge.

301
00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:39,616
Tax dodge nothing.

302
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,898
You take one nap
in a ditch at the park

303
00:13:41,965 --> 00:13:44,615
and they start declaring you
this and that.

304
00:13:44,688 --> 00:13:47,098
Either way, I technically
inherit your building

305
00:13:47,172 --> 00:13:48,242
andyour spaceship

306
00:13:48,309 --> 00:13:50,549
which means
Planet Express is now...

307
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:51,790
[ machine beeps]

308
00:13:51,861 --> 00:13:53,521
Awesome Express!

309
00:13:54,551 --> 00:13:56,031
You rotten kids!

310
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,312
Uh, will you be hiring?

311
00:13:58,379 --> 00:13:58,899
No.

312
00:13:58,965 --> 00:14:01,265
You rotten kids!

313
00:14:08,551 --> 00:14:11,141
[ grunting]

314
00:14:11,206 --> 00:14:15,096
There, one million papers
folded and loaded.

315
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:18,830
Hey, Leela, help me apply

316
00:14:18,895 --> 00:14:20,715
these flame decals
I got in my cereal.

317
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,383
They'll make the ship
go faster.

318
00:14:22,447 --> 00:14:24,997
And what's your scientific
basis for thinking that?

319
00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:26,237
I'm 12.

320
00:14:29,931 --> 00:14:31,901
Oh... Did I
ever tell you

321
00:14:31,965 --> 00:14:34,165
how I used to
own that ship?

322
00:14:40,033 --> 00:14:42,763
There but for the grace of God.

323
00:14:42,826 --> 00:14:45,646
[ gobbling]

324
00:14:45,724 --> 00:14:49,104
♪ Nice little brewskie,
don't you leak ♪

325
00:14:49,172 --> 00:14:51,832
♪ Daddy wants to drink
for at least a week. ♪

326
00:14:51,895 --> 00:14:53,135
[ stomach rumbles loudly]

327
00:14:53,206 --> 00:14:54,206
Oh, my God!

328
00:14:54,274 --> 00:14:55,454
I think it's time!

329
00:14:55,517 --> 00:14:57,787
Hurry, Leela, get some
coasters and cold mugs.

330
00:14:57,861 --> 00:14:59,721
[ Bender groaning]

331
00:14:59,793 --> 00:15:01,933
FRY:
Push, Bender, push.

332
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,860
[ groaning]

333
00:15:03,931 --> 00:15:05,341
You're doing great.

334
00:15:05,413 --> 00:15:09,273
It feels like I'm trying
to push a waterbed out of me.

335
00:15:09,344 --> 00:15:12,034
Almost there,
just two more bottles.

336
00:15:12,102 --> 00:15:13,452
Is it okay?

337
00:15:13,517 --> 00:15:15,517
I can't hear
anything.

338
00:15:15,586 --> 00:15:16,856
[ slurps]

339
00:15:16,931 --> 00:15:20,141
It's an ale--
five gallons, six ounces.

340
00:15:23,033 --> 00:15:26,103
[ moaning]

341
00:15:26,172 --> 00:15:27,652
Hey, what's going on?

342
00:15:27,724 --> 00:15:30,624
This is a delivery company,
not a delivery room.

343
00:15:30,688 --> 00:15:31,928
We just
busted our buns

344
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,550
delivering
a million papers

345
00:15:33,620 --> 00:15:35,270
and this is
how you greet us?

346
00:15:35,344 --> 00:15:37,314
With a bunch
of frosty cold beers?

347
00:15:37,379 --> 00:15:38,789
Hey, wait a second.

348
00:15:38,861 --> 00:15:41,521
How did you deliver
a million papers in one hour?

349
00:15:41,586 --> 00:15:43,476
Uh... we just did, okay?

350
00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,211
'Cause we're awesome.

351
00:15:45,274 --> 00:15:46,214
Yeah.
Yeah.

352
00:15:46,274 --> 00:15:47,384
Awesome.
Awesome.

353
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,687
[ telephone ringing]

354
00:15:48,758 --> 00:15:52,268
Hello, Awesome Express,
the rude, crude delivery dudes.

355
00:15:52,344 --> 00:15:54,034
How may I direct your call?

356
00:15:54,102 --> 00:15:55,172
What's that?

357
00:15:55,240 --> 00:15:56,860
You haven't gotten your paper?

358
00:15:56,931 --> 00:15:58,691
In how long?

359
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:02,688
[ many phones ringing]

360
00:16:06,724 --> 00:16:12,004
Might a homeless old man have
a touch more beef bourguignonne?

361
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:14,337
And another tequila slammer?

362
00:16:15,413 --> 00:16:16,383
Please?

363
00:16:16,447 --> 00:16:17,997
Don't you sweet-talk me

364
00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:19,787
you wrinkly old tube sock.

365
00:16:19,861 --> 00:16:22,271
May I have one,
too, wife?

366
00:16:22,344 --> 00:16:23,554
You're both pathetic

367
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:25,720
being jealous
of your own offspring.

368
00:16:25,793 --> 00:16:28,453
You should be happy
that they became successes

369
00:16:28,517 --> 00:16:30,787
instead of following
in your footsteps.

370
00:16:30,861 --> 00:16:33,551
Oh, it's true,
but they grow up so fast.

371
00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:35,620
We just wanted
a few more years

372
00:16:35,688 --> 00:16:37,408
of being better
than them.

373
00:16:37,481 --> 00:16:39,451
They're so
stinking talented

374
00:16:39,517 --> 00:16:42,587
they don't even need
their fathers anymore.

375
00:16:42,654 --> 00:16:43,974
[ weeping]

376
00:16:45,033 --> 00:16:46,073
[ door slams]

377
00:16:46,136 --> 00:16:47,266
[ running footsteps]

378
00:16:47,344 --> 00:16:49,034
Dad!

379
00:16:49,102 --> 00:16:50,482
We screwed up!

380
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:51,591
You did?

381
00:16:51,654 --> 00:16:52,594
Tough luck, suckers.

382
00:16:52,654 --> 00:16:54,274
Please, help us, Pops.

383
00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:57,314
We agreed to deliver way more
papers than we could handle.

384
00:16:57,379 --> 00:16:58,649
But we couldn't
handle 'em

385
00:16:58,724 --> 00:17:00,144
so we started
dumping the extras

386
00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:01,266
in a crater
on the moon.

387
00:17:01,344 --> 00:17:02,934
And now everybody's
yelling at us

388
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,310
about their
missing papers.

389
00:17:04,378 --> 00:17:06,308
And we don't know
what to do.

390
00:17:06,378 --> 00:17:08,308
[ kids crying]

391
00:17:08,378 --> 00:17:11,898
[ fathers laughing]

392
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:13,454
Oh...
Oh...

393
00:17:13,517 --> 00:17:16,377
Why did you boys
do all this?

394
00:17:16,448 --> 00:17:18,898
We just wanted you
to be proud of us.

395
00:17:18,964 --> 00:17:20,244
Proud of you?

396
00:17:20,309 --> 00:17:23,279
You ruined us
with sleazy business practices

397
00:17:23,344 --> 00:17:26,384
and a complete disregard
for human decency.

398
00:17:26,448 --> 00:17:28,548
Of course we're
proud of you.

399
00:17:28,619 --> 00:17:29,929
Damn right we are.

400
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,550
Now, come on--
let's go do

401
00:17:31,619 --> 00:17:34,239
a little father-son
weaseling out of this.

402
00:17:39,586 --> 00:17:42,026
PROFESSOR:
Good thing I had
this net installed

403
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:43,313
for catching giraffes.

404
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:03,693
Okay, boys,
let me show you

405
00:18:03,758 --> 00:18:05,588
how a paper mandoes it.

406
00:18:13,723 --> 00:18:17,073
Au revoir...!

407
00:18:17,136 --> 00:18:18,926
Can I use
the gun, Dad?

408
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,790
Oh, what kind of father
would I be if I said no?

409
00:18:28,205 --> 00:18:29,475
Only one house to go.

410
00:18:29,550 --> 00:18:30,650
We did it!

411
00:18:30,723 --> 00:18:32,453
[ cheering]

412
00:18:32,517 --> 00:18:33,547
Yeah!

413
00:18:33,619 --> 00:18:34,689
[ gasps]

414
00:18:38,136 --> 00:18:40,826
Run away. That bully
Brett Blob lives there.

415
00:18:40,895 --> 00:18:44,375
He's ugly, mean,
stupid, stink mucus

416
00:18:44,448 --> 00:18:47,758
and last week we
sort of broke his window.

417
00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:49,756
All right, all right--
what do we do

418
00:18:49,826 --> 00:18:51,516
when we break somebody's window?

419
00:18:51,586 --> 00:18:52,646
Pay for it?

420
00:18:52,723 --> 00:18:54,383
Oh, heavens, no.

421
00:18:54,448 --> 00:18:57,618
We apologize--
with nice, cheap words.

422
00:18:57,689 --> 00:18:58,759
[ doorbell ringing]

423
00:18:59,895 --> 00:19:01,825
I thought I heard
the doorbell

424
00:19:01,895 --> 00:19:04,405
but I see it was the dork bell.

425
00:19:04,481 --> 00:19:06,861
[ laughing]

426
00:19:06,931 --> 00:19:09,071
Uh, you made a
funny good one, Brett.

427
00:19:09,136 --> 00:19:12,066
Now, now, no need to
give us the business.

428
00:19:12,136 --> 00:19:14,376
We'd like a word
with your daddy.

429
00:19:14,448 --> 00:19:16,898
Whatever. Dad!

430
00:19:16,964 --> 00:19:18,034
Don't worry, boys.

431
00:19:18,103 --> 00:19:19,283
I'm sure his father

432
00:19:19,344 --> 00:19:21,554
is a perfectly normal,
reasonable man.

433
00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:22,899
What the hell do you want?

434
00:19:22,964 --> 00:19:25,524
Mr. Blob, our sons
have come to apologize

435
00:19:25,586 --> 00:19:27,206
for damaging your window.

436
00:19:27,275 --> 00:19:30,895
They've learned their lesson
and they want to make amends.

437
00:19:30,964 --> 00:19:32,174
I'm sorry, sir.

438
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,340
Yeah. Sorry.

439
00:19:33,413 --> 00:19:35,073
You can shove your apology

440
00:19:35,136 --> 00:19:37,996
into the bottom of your
one-way digestive system.

441
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:40,097
Now, see here--
we assured our sons

442
00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:41,962
that you'd accept
their apology.

443
00:19:42,034 --> 00:19:43,904
Aww. Tell you what.

444
00:19:43,964 --> 00:19:48,524
I'll accept their apology
when they kiss my ass--

445
00:19:48,586 --> 00:19:50,406
which I don't have.

446
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:52,411
[ laughing]

447
00:19:52,481 --> 00:19:55,591
No one gives my boy
that option.

448
00:19:55,654 --> 00:19:56,834
Bring it on, Jello Pop.

449
00:19:56,895 --> 00:19:57,995
Yeah! Get him, Dad!

450
00:19:58,067 --> 00:19:59,137
Show him who's boss.

451
00:19:59,205 --> 00:20:01,405
[ pained groans]

452
00:20:03,275 --> 00:20:04,475
Get him... Pops.

453
00:20:04,550 --> 00:20:05,550
Hooray?

454
00:20:06,550 --> 00:20:08,550
[ dog yapping]

455
00:20:11,964 --> 00:20:13,834
[ growls]

456
00:20:19,931 --> 00:20:21,211
That was incredible!

457
00:20:21,275 --> 00:20:24,165
You are the bravest dads
in the entire trauma center.

458
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,520
You guys almost had him--
until he digested you.

459
00:20:26,586 --> 00:20:28,586
Aw, you're good kids.

460
00:20:28,654 --> 00:20:29,864
[ coughing]

461
00:20:29,931 --> 00:20:32,001
If I could
feel anything right now

462
00:20:32,067 --> 00:20:33,167
it would be pride.

463
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:35,210
[ screaming]
[ screaming]

464
00:20:35,275 --> 00:20:37,825
I was wrong! I can
still feel pain!

465
00:20:37,895 --> 00:20:38,955
[ knocking]

466
00:20:40,275 --> 00:20:41,205
[ shrieks]

467
00:20:41,275 --> 00:20:42,685
He's come
to finish the job.

468
00:20:42,758 --> 00:20:44,338
Someone toss me
out the window!

469
00:20:44,413 --> 00:20:45,553
No, no. Wait.

470
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:48,339
I-I feel terrible
about what happened.

471
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,593
I've just been under
a lot of stress lately

472
00:20:51,654 --> 00:20:53,624
down at the plant,
you know.

473
00:20:53,689 --> 00:20:57,759
They're bringing in computers
to "improve productivity"

474
00:20:57,826 --> 00:21:01,896
and... well, that's
no excuse for how I acted

475
00:21:01,964 --> 00:21:04,144
but the boy
needs to see
that real men

476
00:21:04,205 --> 00:21:07,135
solve their disagreements
with words, not violence

477
00:21:07,205 --> 00:21:09,955
so, uh... if you'll
accept my apology, well

478
00:21:10,034 --> 00:21:13,524
I hope we can put this
embarrassing incident behind us.

479
00:21:13,586 --> 00:21:16,476
Mmm. I suppose.
Oh, ah...

480
00:21:16,550 --> 00:21:17,860
Hey, chumps!

481
00:21:17,931 --> 00:21:20,521
I heard you were on the ass end
of an ass-kicking

482
00:21:20,586 --> 00:21:23,066
so I figured you could use
a couple of these little babies.

483
00:21:23,136 --> 00:21:24,026
Oh, why not?

484
00:21:24,103 --> 00:21:25,343
Might as well live it up

485
00:21:25,413 --> 00:21:27,213
as long as I've got
this catheter in me.

486
00:21:27,275 --> 00:21:29,615
Won't you join us,
Mr. Blob?

487
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,099
Sounds like a plan.

488
00:21:32,448 --> 00:21:34,998
This is what makes life
worth clinging to--

489
00:21:35,067 --> 00:21:38,277
three fathers enjoying
a day out with their sons.

490
00:21:38,344 --> 00:21:39,554
[ bottles clink]

491
00:21:39,619 --> 00:21:41,649
It would seem
we've taught our boys

492
00:21:41,723 --> 00:21:42,963
a lesson about life.

493
00:21:43,034 --> 00:21:46,934
Man or blob,
it's what's inside that counts.

494
00:21:48,413 --> 00:21:50,383
[ muffled shouts]