1 00:00:02,165 --> 00:00:05,541 [ Drumroll ] 2 00:00:05,576 --> 00:00:07,803 [ Fanfare Music ] 3 00:00:19,558 --> 00:00:20,882 [ Fanfare Music Ends ] 4 00:00:24,727 --> 00:00:27,596 [ Traffic Noises ] 5 00:00:27,631 --> 00:00:30,126 ♪ UNO, DOS ♪ 6 00:00:30,162 --> 00:00:32,997 ♪ TRES, CUATRO ♪ 7 00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:35,501 ♪ AHH ♪♪ 8 00:00:43,579 --> 00:00:44,576 ♪♪ 9 00:01:07,438 --> 00:01:08,435 ♪♪ 10 00:01:21,046 --> 00:01:24,154 [ Grunts ] 11 00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:57,178 ♪♪ [ Car Stereo: Rap ] 12 00:01:57,213 --> 00:02:00,749 ♪ I GOT MY PISTOL PAWN COCKED READY TO LAY SHOTS NONSTOP ♪ 13 00:02:00,784 --> 00:02:03,159 ♪ UNTIL I SEE YOUR MONKEY ASS DROP ♪ 14 00:02:03,194 --> 00:02:05,123 ♪ AND LET YOUR HOMIES KNOW WHO DONE IT ♪ 15 00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:08,691 ♪ WHEN IT COMES TO THIS GANGSTA SHIT, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS KNOW WHO RUN IT ♪ 16 00:02:08,727 --> 00:02:11,762 ♪ WE'RE STANDING UP FOR OUR OWN SHIT ♪ 17 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:13,801 ♪ AND IF YOU PUT THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO THE TEST ♪ 18 00:02:13,836 --> 00:02:15,203 ♪ YOU GOTTA REALIZE SOMETHIN', NIGGA ♪ [ Stereo: Volume Lowers ] 19 00:02:15,238 --> 00:02:16,936 ♪ YOU FUCKIN' WITH THE VERY BEST ♪ 20 00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:19,375 [ Stereo: Volume Increases ] ♪ I GOT THIS KILLA UP INSIDE OF ME ♪ 21 00:02:19,410 --> 00:02:22,674 ♪ I CAN'T TALK TO MY MOTHER SO I TALK TO MY DIARY ♪♪ 22 00:02:27,678 --> 00:02:31,720 MOTHER SHITTER, SON OF AN ASS-- 23 00:02:31,755 --> 00:02:33,883 YOU-- I'LL JUST-- 24 00:02:39,929 --> 00:02:42,191 I WAS TOLD-- HAVE YOU-- 25 00:02:42,227 --> 00:02:45,895 I WAS TOLD THAT IF I WAS LATE AGAIN, I WOULD BE SUMMARILY DISMISSED. 26 00:03:07,693 --> 00:03:09,556 [ Car Alarm Chirps ] 27 00:03:35,653 --> 00:03:37,551 [ Grumbles ] 28 00:03:39,450 --> 00:03:41,654 [ Electrical Crackle ] 29 00:03:46,357 --> 00:03:50,300 [ Chattering ] 30 00:03:51,601 --> 00:03:54,065 [ Woman ] CORPORATE ACCOUNTS PAYABLE. NINA SPEAKING. 31 00:03:54,101 --> 00:03:56,535 JUST A MOMENT. 32 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,004 CORPORATE ACCOUNTS PAYABLE. NINA SPEAKING. 33 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,606 JUST A MOMENT. 34 00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:04,075 CORPORATE ACCOUNTS PAYABLE. NINA SPEAKING. 35 00:04:04,111 --> 00:04:07,480 JUST A MOMENT. 36 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:09,949 CORPORATE ACCOUNTS PAYABLE. NINA SPEAKING. 37 00:04:09,985 --> 00:04:12,180 JUST A MOMENT. 38 00:04:12,216 --> 00:04:16,621 CORPORATE ACCOUNTS PAYABLE. NINA SPEAKING. JUST A MOMENT. 39 00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:18,621 CORPORATE ACCOUNTS PAYABLE. NINA SPEAKING. 40 00:04:18,656 --> 00:04:21,823 HELLO, PETER. WHAT'S HAPPENING? 41 00:04:21,858 --> 00:04:25,066 UH, WE HAVE SORT OF A PROBLEM HERE. 42 00:04:25,102 --> 00:04:30,306 YEAH, YOU APPARENTLY DIDN'T PUT ONE OF THE NEW COVER SHEETS ON YOUR T.P.S. REPORTS. 43 00:04:30,341 --> 00:04:33,939 OH, YEAH. I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. I-I FORGOT. 44 00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:36,077 MM, YEAH. 45 00:04:36,113 --> 00:04:40,511 YOU SEE, WE'RE PUTTING THE COVER SHEETS ON ALL T.P.S. REPORTS NOW BEFORE THEY GO OUT. 46 00:04:40,547 --> 00:04:43,213 DID YOU SEE THE MEMO ABOUT THIS? 47 00:04:43,248 --> 00:04:48,217 YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, I HAVE THE MEMO RIGHT HERE. I JUST, UH, FORGOT. 48 00:04:48,252 --> 00:04:52,122 BUT IT'S NOT SHIPPING OUT TILL TOMORROW, SO THERE'S NO PROBLEM. 49 00:04:52,157 --> 00:04:54,128 YEAH. 50 00:04:54,164 --> 00:04:58,900 IF YOU COULD JUST GO AHEAD AND MAKE SURE YOU DO THAT FROM NOW ON, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 51 00:04:58,935 --> 00:05:01,998 AND, UH, I'LL GO AHEAD AND MAKE SURE YOU GET ANOTHER COPY OF THAT MEMO. 52 00:05:02,034 --> 00:05:04,270 MM-KAY? BYE-BYE, PETER. YEAH, NO, I HAVE THE MEMO. 53 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,341 I'VE GOT IT. IT'S RIGHT-- 54 00:05:06,377 --> 00:05:08,704 [ Lumbergh ] HELLO, PHIL. WHAT'S HAPPENING? 55 00:05:08,739 --> 00:05:12,982 UH, I CAME BY HERE YESTERDAY-- 56 00:05:13,017 --> 00:05:15,984 [ Man On Radio, Indistinct ] 57 00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:19,180 - [ Mumbling ] - MILTON? 58 00:05:19,215 --> 00:05:23,658 HI. UH, COULD YOU TURN THAT DOWN JUST A LITTLE BIT? 59 00:05:23,693 --> 00:05:26,559 WELL, I-I WAS TOLD THAT I COULD LISTEN TO THE RADIO... 60 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,629 AT A REASONABLE VOLUME FROM 9:00 TO 11:00. 61 00:05:28,664 --> 00:05:31,932 YEAH, NO, NO, I KNOW YOU'RE ALLOWED TO. I, UH-- 62 00:05:31,968 --> 00:05:34,563 I WAS JUST THINKING MAYBE LIKE, YOU KNOW, A PERSONAL FAVOR, YOU-- 63 00:05:34,598 --> 00:05:40,138 WELL, I-I TOLD BILL THAT IF-IF SANDRA'S GOING TO LISTEN TO HER HEADPHONES... 64 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:42,971 WHILE SHE'S-- WHILE SHE'S FILING, THEN I SHOULD BE ABLE TO LISTEN... 65 00:05:43,007 --> 00:05:45,010 TO THE RADIO WHILE I'M COLLATING. UH-HUH. 66 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,109 SO, I DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD HAVE TO TURN DOWN THE RADIO. 67 00:05:47,144 --> 00:05:49,751 - YEAH, ALL RIGHT. OKAY. - BECAUSE I ENJOY LISTENING... 68 00:05:49,786 --> 00:05:52,853 AT A REASONABLE VOLUME FROM 9:00 TO 11:00. THANKS... MILTON. 69 00:05:52,889 --> 00:05:54,624 HI, PETER. 70 00:05:54,659 --> 00:05:59,195 WHAT'S HAPPENING? WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR T.P.S. REPORTS. 71 00:05:59,231 --> 00:06:01,693 YEAH, THE COVER SHEET. I KNOW. I KNOW. 72 00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:04,025 UH, BILL TALKED TO ME ABOUT IT. YEAH. 73 00:06:04,061 --> 00:06:06,397 DID YOU GET THAT MEMO? YEAH, I GOT THE MEMO. 74 00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:11,840 AND I UNDERSTAND THE POLICY AND THE PROBLEM IS JUST THAT I FORGOT THE ONE TIME. 75 00:06:11,876 --> 00:06:14,137 I'VE ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF IT, SO IT'S NOT REALLY A PROBLEM ANYMORE. 76 00:06:14,172 --> 00:06:18,744 AH, YEAH. IT'S JUST WE'RE PUTTING NEW COVER SHEETS... 77 00:06:18,780 --> 00:06:21,347 ON ALL THE T.P.S. REPORTS BEFORE THEY GO OUT NOW. 78 00:06:21,383 --> 00:06:26,183 SO, IF YOU COULD GO AHEAD AND TRY TO REMEMBER TO DO THAT FROM NOW ON, THAT'D BE GREAT. 79 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,392 ALL RIGHT! 80 00:06:30,257 --> 00:06:32,121 [ Phone Ringing ] 81 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,059 [ Ring ] 82 00:06:38,234 --> 00:06:40,668 PETER GIBBONS. YEAH. PETER? 83 00:06:40,703 --> 00:06:44,103 YES. DID YOU GET THE MEMO ABOUT THE T.P.S. REPORTS? 84 00:06:44,139 --> 00:06:46,242 I HAVE THE MEMO. 85 00:06:46,277 --> 00:06:49,975 [ Whirring, Beeping ] NO, NOT AGAIN. 86 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,378 WHY DOES IT SAY "PAPER JAM" WHEN THERE IS NO PAPER JAM? 87 00:06:52,413 --> 00:06:57,653 I SWEAR TO GOD, ONE OF THESE DAYS, I JUST KICK THIS PIECE OF SHIT OUT THE WINDOW. 88 00:06:57,688 --> 00:07:00,754 YOU AND ME BOTH, MAN. THE THING IS LUCKY I'M NOT ARMED. 89 00:07:03,259 --> 00:07:06,259 - PIECE OF SHIT. - SAM IRE-- 90 00:07:06,294 --> 00:07:10,890 NA-- NA-- NA-- NAGA-- 91 00:07:10,925 --> 00:07:13,835 NO. PLEASE. UH-HUH. 92 00:07:13,871 --> 00:07:15,972 MICHAEL... 93 00:07:16,007 --> 00:07:18,305 - BOLTON? - THAT'S ME. 94 00:07:18,341 --> 00:07:20,370 WOW. IS THAT YOUR REAL NAME? 95 00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:24,775 - YEAH. [ Clears Throat ] - SO, ARE YOU RELATED TO THAT SINGER GUY? 96 00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:27,646 - NO, IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE. - OH. 97 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,147 [ Mutters ] YEAH, YOU FUCKIN' COW. 98 00:07:30,182 --> 00:07:32,819 NO ONE IN THIS COUNTRY CAN EVER PRONOUNCE MY NAME RIGHT. 99 00:07:32,855 --> 00:07:36,956 I-IT'S NOT THAT HARD-- NAGHEENANAJAR. NAGHEENANAJAR. 100 00:07:36,991 --> 00:07:40,090 YEAH, WELL, AT LEAST YOUR NAME ISN'T MICHAEL BOLTON. 101 00:07:40,125 --> 00:07:42,226 YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT NAME. 102 00:07:42,261 --> 00:07:45,626 THERE WAS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT, UNTIL I WAS ABOUT 12 YEARS OLD, 103 00:07:45,662 --> 00:07:49,499 AND THAT NO-TALENT ASS CLOWN BECAME FAMOUS AND STARTED WINNING GRAMMYS. 104 00:07:49,534 --> 00:07:54,611 HMM. WHY DON'T-- WHY DON'T YOU JUST, UH, GO BY MIKE INSTEAD OF MICHAEL? 105 00:07:54,646 --> 00:07:56,805 NO WAY. WHY SHOULD I CHANGE? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS. 106 00:07:56,841 --> 00:07:59,849 - HEY, GUYS. - WHAT'S UP, G. 107 00:07:59,885 --> 00:08:03,311 - WANNA GO TO CHOTCHKIE'S, GET SOME COFFEE? - OH, IT'S A LITTLE EARLY. 108 00:08:03,346 --> 00:08:05,787 I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. I THINK I'M GOING TO LOSE IT. 109 00:08:05,823 --> 00:08:10,025 UH-OH. SOUNDS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOT A CASE OF THE MONDAYS. 110 00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,759 [ Woman Chuckles ] 111 00:08:15,166 --> 00:08:17,426 BOY, I TELL YOU. SOME DAYS. 112 00:08:17,462 --> 00:08:20,335 ONE OF THESE DAYS IT'S JUST GONNA BE LIKE-- [ Imitates Machine Gun ] 113 00:08:20,370 --> 00:08:22,964 [ Imitates Machine Gun, Laughs ] 114 00:08:22,999 --> 00:08:26,137 SO, CAN I GET YOU GENTLEMEN SOMETHING MORE TO DRINK, OR MAYBE SOMETHING TO NIBBLE ON? 115 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,845 SOME PIZZA SHOOTERS, SHRIMP POPPERS OR EXTREME FAJITAS? 116 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:30,943 JUST COFFEE. 117 00:08:30,979 --> 00:08:33,781 OKAY. SOUNDS LIKE A CASE OF THE MONDAYS. [ Chuckles ] 118 00:08:37,687 --> 00:08:41,755 WHAT IF WE'RE STILL DOING THIS WHEN WE'RE 50? 119 00:08:41,791 --> 00:08:44,321 IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE THAT KIND OF JOB SECURITY. 120 00:08:44,356 --> 00:08:48,523 LUMBERGH'S GONNA HAVE ME WORK ON SATURDAY. I-I CAN TELL ALREADY. 121 00:08:48,558 --> 00:08:52,765 I'M GONNA END UP DOING IT BECAUSE, UH, BECAUSE I'M A BIG PUSSY. 122 00:08:52,801 --> 00:08:54,729 WHICH IS WHY I WORK AT INITECH TO BEGIN WITH. 123 00:08:54,765 --> 00:08:59,175 YEAH, WELL, I WORK AT INITECH, AND I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF A PUSSY. OKAY? 124 00:08:59,210 --> 00:09:01,710 YES, I AM ALSO NOT A PUSSY. 125 00:09:01,746 --> 00:09:03,507 THEY'RE GONNA FIND OUT THE HARD WAY I'M NOT A PUSSY... 126 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,578 IF THEY DON'T START TREATING THEIR SOFTWARE PEOPLE BETTER. THAT'S RIGHT. 127 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:10,415 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. I COULD PROGRAM A VIRUS THAT WOULD RIP THAT PLACE OFF BIG TIME. 128 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:13,282 YEAH. BIG TIME. 129 00:09:14,951 --> 00:09:18,385 - WHOA. - THERE SHE IS. 130 00:09:18,421 --> 00:09:21,963 PETER, YOU KNOW, YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THIS GIRL. 131 00:09:21,998 --> 00:09:24,293 IF YOU'RE SO OBSESSED WITH HER, WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK HER OUT? 132 00:09:24,329 --> 00:09:27,802 NO, I CAN'T DO THAT. I'M JUST ANOTHER ASSHOLE CUSTOMER. 133 00:09:27,838 --> 00:09:31,003 YOU CAN'T JUST WALK UP TO A WAITRESS AND ASK HER OUT. 134 00:09:31,039 --> 00:09:33,341 BESIDES, I'M STILL TRYING TO WORK IT OUT WITH ANNE. 135 00:09:33,376 --> 00:09:36,445 UH, THAT REMINDS ME. I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO PLAY POKER WITH YOU GUYS ON FRIDAY. 136 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,811 - WHY NOT? - I'M GONNA SEE THIS, UH, 137 00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,883 OCCUPATIONAL HYPNOTHERAPIST WITH ANNE. 138 00:09:41,918 --> 00:09:45,215 DUDE, AN OCCUPATIONAL HYPNOTHERAPIST? YEAH, I KNOW. 139 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:50,689 ANNE WANTS ME TO GO. SHE THINKS IT MIGHT HELP. I'M-- 140 00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,990 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I THINK I-- 141 00:09:53,025 --> 00:09:55,794 I GET THINKING THAT SHE'S CHEATING ON ME. 142 00:09:55,830 --> 00:09:58,294 - YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. - YEAH. 143 00:10:00,096 --> 00:10:02,201 WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 144 00:10:02,236 --> 00:10:04,734 NOTHING. 145 00:10:04,769 --> 00:10:07,973 LOOK. JUST TELL ANNE THAT YOU'RE NOT INTO HYPNOSIS AND YOU WANNA PLAY POKER. 146 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:10,979 NO, I CAN'T DO THAT. SHE'LL GET ALL PISSED OFF. 147 00:10:11,014 --> 00:10:13,911 AND, BESIDES, I THINK THE GUY MIGHT ACTUALLY BE ABLE TO HELP. 148 00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,778 I MEAN, HE DID HELP ANNE LOSE WEIGHT. 149 00:10:15,813 --> 00:10:18,113 PETER, SHE'S ANOREXIC. 150 00:10:18,148 --> 00:10:21,318 YEAH, I KNOW. THE GUY'S REALLY GOOD. 151 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:24,253 YEAH, WELL, I DON'T THINK ANY OCCUPATIONAL HYPNOTHERAPIST... 152 00:10:24,288 --> 00:10:26,891 IS GONNA HELP YOU SOLVE ANY OF YOUR PROBLEMS. 153 00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:28,591 OKAY? HEY, AND SPEAKING OF PROBLEMS, 154 00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:30,960 WHAT'S THIS I HEAR ABOUT YOU HAVING PROBLEMS WITH YOUR T.P.S. REPORTS? 155 00:10:30,995 --> 00:10:34,165 YEAH. DIDN'T YOU GET THAT MEMO? 156 00:10:35,265 --> 00:10:39,903 - HEY! HEY, GUYS! PETER! - IS THAT SMYKOWSKI? 157 00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,940 SAMIR! [ Samir ] WHAT'S HE DOING? 158 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,045 OH, PROBABLY WORKING ON ANOTHER HEART ATTACK. 159 00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:46,948 I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU GUYS. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? 160 00:10:46,984 --> 00:10:50,119 I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. WHAT? IT'S A STAFF MEETING. SO WHAT? 161 00:10:50,154 --> 00:10:54,450 SO WHAT? WE'RE ALL SCREWED, THAT'S WHAT. THEY'RE GONNA DOWNSIZE INITECH. 162 00:10:54,485 --> 00:10:56,553 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, TOM? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? 163 00:10:56,588 --> 00:10:59,926 HOW DO I KNOW? THEY'RE BRINGING IN A CONSULTANT, THAT'S HOW I KNOW. 164 00:10:59,962 --> 00:11:01,926 THAT'S WHAT THIS STAFF MEETING IS ALL ABOUT. 165 00:11:01,961 --> 00:11:04,025 IT HAPPENED AT INITRODE LAST YEAR. 166 00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:07,629 YOU HAVE TO INTERVIEW WITH THIS CONSULTANT. THEY CALL THEM "EFFICIENCY EXPERTS." 167 00:11:07,664 --> 00:11:09,932 BUT WHAT YOU'RE REALLY DOING IS INTERVIEWING FOR YOUR OWN JOB. 168 00:11:09,967 --> 00:11:12,600 [ Peter ] EVERY WEEK YOU SAY YOU'RE GOING TO LOSE YOUR JOB, AND YOU'RE STILL HERE. 169 00:11:12,635 --> 00:11:15,401 [ Tom ] NOT THIS TIME. I BET I'M THE FIRST ONE LAID OFF. 170 00:11:15,436 --> 00:11:19,575 THE THOUGHT OF HAVING TO GO TO THE STATE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE, TO STAND IN LINE WITH SCUMBAGS! 171 00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:20,750 SHIT. 172 00:11:22,618 --> 00:11:26,688 YOU KNOW, THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD THAT DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ALL THIS SHIT. 173 00:11:26,723 --> 00:11:29,624 LIKE THAT GUY THAT INVENTED THE PET ROCK? 174 00:11:29,659 --> 00:11:32,757 YOU SEE, THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. 175 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:34,863 YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR MIND... 176 00:11:34,898 --> 00:11:37,624 AND COME UP WITH SOME REALLY GREAT IDEA LIKE THAT. 177 00:11:37,659 --> 00:11:39,800 AND YOU CAN MAKE MILLIONS. NEVER HAVE TO WORK AGAIN. 178 00:11:39,836 --> 00:11:41,869 YOU THINK THE PET ROCK WAS A REALLY GREAT IDEA? 179 00:11:41,904 --> 00:11:46,204 SURE IT WAS. THE GUY MADE A MILLION DOLLARS. 180 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:53,514 YOU KNOW, I HAD AN IDEA LIKE THAT ONCE, A LONG TIME AGO. 181 00:11:53,549 --> 00:11:55,381 REALLY? WHAT WAS IT, TOM? 182 00:11:55,417 --> 00:11:57,982 WELL, ALL RIGHT. 183 00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:01,989 IT WAS A "JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS" MAT. 184 00:12:03,384 --> 00:12:05,923 YOU SEE, IT WOULD BE THIS MAT... 185 00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,194 THAT YOU WOULD PUT ON THE FLOOR, 186 00:12:08,229 --> 00:12:12,994 AND IT WOULD HAVE DIFFERENT CONCLUSIONS WRITTEN ON IT... 187 00:12:13,029 --> 00:12:15,365 THAT YOU COULD JUMP TO. 188 00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:22,137 THAT IS THE WORST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE, TOM. 189 00:12:22,173 --> 00:12:26,013 YES. YES, IT'S HORRIBLE, THIS IDEA. 190 00:12:28,553 --> 00:12:31,452 UH, LOOK, I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE. 191 00:12:31,487 --> 00:12:33,687 I'LL SEE YOU GUYS LATER, 192 00:12:33,723 --> 00:12:37,325 IF I STILL HAVE A JOB. YEAH. 193 00:12:37,360 --> 00:12:40,555 OUR HIGH SCHOOL GUIDANCE COUNSELOR USED TO ASK US WHAT YOU WOULD DO... 194 00:12:40,590 --> 00:12:42,693 IF YOU HAD A MILLION DOLLARS, DIDN'T HAVE TO WORK. 195 00:12:42,728 --> 00:12:45,961 AND, INVARIABLY, WHATEVER YOU'D SAY, THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR CAREER. 196 00:12:45,996 --> 00:12:49,298 IF YOU WANTED TO FIX OLD CARS, THEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AN AUTO MECHANIC. 197 00:12:49,334 --> 00:12:53,071 - SO WHAT DID YOU SAY? - I NEVER HAD AN ANSWER. 198 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,245 I GUESS THAT'S WHY I'M WORKING AT INITECH. 199 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:58,848 NO. YOU'RE WORKING AT INITECH 'CAUSE THAT QUESTION IS BULLSHIT TO BEGIN WITH. 200 00:12:58,883 --> 00:13:00,710 IF EVERYONE LISTENED TO HER, THERE'D BE NO JANITORS, 201 00:13:00,745 --> 00:13:03,913 BECAUSE NO ONE WOULD CLEAN SHIT UP IF THEY HAD A MILLION DOLLARS. 202 00:13:03,948 --> 00:13:06,019 IF I HAD MILLION DOLLARS, 203 00:13:06,055 --> 00:13:08,952 I WOULD INVEST HALF OF IT IN LOW-RISK MUTUAL FUNDS, 204 00:13:08,987 --> 00:13:12,524 AND THEN TAKE THE OTHER HALF OF IT TO MY FRIEND ASADULAH, WHO WORKS IN SECURITIES-- 205 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,087 SAMIR. SAMIR, YOU'RE MISSING THE POINT. THE POINT OF THE EXERCISE... 206 00:13:15,123 --> 00:13:19,902 IS THAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WOULD WANT TO DO IF-- 207 00:13:19,938 --> 00:13:22,632 "P.C. LOAD LETTER"? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? 208 00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:24,500 WHAT THE-- 209 00:13:39,588 --> 00:13:41,849 [ TV On, Indistinct ] 210 00:13:41,884 --> 00:13:43,959 [ Sighs ] 211 00:13:45,159 --> 00:13:47,620 [ Man ] HEY, PETER, MAN! CHECK OUT CHANNEL 9! 212 00:13:47,655 --> 00:13:50,530 CHECK OUT THIS CHICK! DAMN IT, LAWRENCE. 213 00:13:50,565 --> 00:13:53,430 CAN'T YOU JUST PRETEND LIKE WE CAN'T HEAR EACH OTHER THROUGH THE WALL? 214 00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:55,069 OH, SORRY, MAN! ANNE OVER THERE OR SOMETHIN'? 215 00:13:55,104 --> 00:14:00,503 NO, BUT... IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME, JUST COME OVER. 216 00:14:03,746 --> 00:14:07,048 HEY, MAN, CHECK THIS OUT, DUDE. 217 00:14:08,549 --> 00:14:13,014 [ Woman ] THE KEY IS EARLY DETECTION. TUMORS THAT ARE DETECTED-- 218 00:14:13,049 --> 00:14:16,956 AW, GEEZ, LAWRENCE. I'M SORRY, MAN. I THOUGHT YOU'D WANT TO SEE THIS. 219 00:14:16,991 --> 00:14:19,527 DOESN'T THAT CHICK LOOK LIKE ANNE? 220 00:14:19,563 --> 00:14:22,495 YEAH. A LITTLE BIT. I-- 221 00:14:22,530 --> 00:14:25,766 HEY, SHE HASN'T BEEN OVER HERE IN A WHILE. YOU TWO STILL GOIN' OUT? 222 00:14:25,801 --> 00:14:29,103 YEAH. I GUESS. I-I DON'T KNOW. 223 00:14:29,139 --> 00:14:31,299 SOMETIMES I GET THE FEELING LIKE SHE'S CHEATING ON ME. 224 00:14:31,334 --> 00:14:33,706 YEAH. I GET THAT FEELING TOO, MAN. 225 00:14:33,741 --> 00:14:36,642 WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? 226 00:14:36,677 --> 00:14:39,112 I DON'T KNOW, MAN. 227 00:14:39,147 --> 00:14:41,245 I JUST GET THAT FEELING LOOKIN' AT HER, LIKE, 228 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,546 SHE'S THE TYPE OF CHICK THAT WOULD JUST-- 229 00:14:44,882 --> 00:14:47,616 [ Groans ] 230 00:14:48,891 --> 00:14:51,258 OH, I'M SORRY, MAN. LOOK, I-I-- 231 00:14:51,293 --> 00:14:53,790 YOU KNOW, I'M TALKIN' OUTTA MY ASS. I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN'. 232 00:14:53,825 --> 00:14:56,962 FORGET IT. DON'T WORRY. IT'S ALL RIGHT. JUST-- I HAD A ROUGH DAY. 233 00:14:56,998 --> 00:15:00,531 TELL ME ABOUT IT, MAN. [ Groans ] 234 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:05,672 I GOTTA WAKE MY ASS UP AT 6:00 A.M. EVERY DAY THIS WEEK, 235 00:15:05,707 --> 00:15:07,671 DRAG UP TO LAS COLINDAS. 236 00:15:07,706 --> 00:15:10,545 YEAH. I'M DOIN' THE DRYWALL UP THERE AT THE NEW McDONALD'S. 237 00:15:10,580 --> 00:15:13,545 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 238 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,946 WHEN YOU COME IN ON MONDAY AND YOU'RE NOT FEELIN' REAL WELL, 239 00:15:15,981 --> 00:15:19,648 DOES ANYONE EVER SAY TO YOU, "SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE HAS A CASE OF THE MONDAYS"? 240 00:15:21,753 --> 00:15:23,522 NO. 241 00:15:23,557 --> 00:15:25,525 NO, MAN. 242 00:15:25,561 --> 00:15:27,495 SHIT, NO, MAN. 243 00:15:27,530 --> 00:15:30,129 I BELIEVE YOU'D GET YOUR ASS KICKED, SAYIN' SOMETHIN' LIKE THAT, MAN. 244 00:15:30,165 --> 00:15:33,434 HUH. WE STILL GOIN' FISHIN' THIS WEEKEND? 245 00:15:33,470 --> 00:15:36,266 NAH, LUMBERGH'S GONNA HAVE ME COME IN ON SATURDAY. I JUST KNOW IT. 246 00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,405 WELL, YOU CAN GET OUT OF THAT EASILY. 247 00:15:38,441 --> 00:15:40,308 YEAH? HOW? 248 00:15:40,343 --> 00:15:42,207 WELL, 249 00:15:42,243 --> 00:15:44,576 WHEN A BOSS WANTS YOU TO WORK ON A SATURDAY, 250 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,909 HE GENERALLY ASKS YOU AT THE END OF THE DAY, RIGHT? YEAH. 251 00:15:47,945 --> 00:15:50,679 SO ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS AVOID HIM-- THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I GOT IT-- 252 00:15:50,714 --> 00:15:54,486 ON THE LAST FEW HOURS ON FRIDAY, DUCK OUT EARLY, 253 00:15:54,522 --> 00:15:58,357 TURN OFF YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE, YOU SHOULD BE HOME FREE, MAN. 254 00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:01,958 THAT'S A REALLY GOOD IDEA. 255 00:16:01,993 --> 00:16:04,166 FUCKIN'-A, MAN. 256 00:16:04,201 --> 00:16:09,705 LAWRENCE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD A MILLION DOLLARS? 257 00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:12,907 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'D DO, MAN. 258 00:16:12,942 --> 00:16:14,978 TWO CHICKS AT THE SAME TIME, MAN. 259 00:16:18,613 --> 00:16:20,548 THAT'S IT? 260 00:16:20,583 --> 00:16:24,350 IF YOU HAD A MILLION DOLLARS, Y-YOU'D DO TWO CHICKS AT THE SAME TIME? 261 00:16:24,386 --> 00:16:27,354 DAMN STRAIGHT. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THAT, MAN. 262 00:16:27,390 --> 00:16:29,885 I THINK IF I WERE A MILLIONAIRE, I COULD HOOK THAT UP TOO. 263 00:16:29,921 --> 00:16:33,329 - 'CAUSE CHICKS DIG DUDES WITH MONEY. - WELL, NOT ALL CHICKS. 264 00:16:33,364 --> 00:16:36,095 WELL, THE TYPE OF CHICKS THAT WOULD DOUBLE UP ON A DUDE LIKE ME DO. 265 00:16:36,130 --> 00:16:38,266 GOOD POINT. WELL, WHAT ABOUT YOU NOW? 266 00:16:38,302 --> 00:16:40,768 - WHAT WOULD YOU DO? - BESIDES TWO CHICKS AT THE SAME TIME? 267 00:16:40,803 --> 00:16:43,636 - WELL, YEAH. - NOTHING. 268 00:16:43,672 --> 00:16:45,737 NOTHIN', HUH? 269 00:16:45,773 --> 00:16:48,007 I WOULD RELAX. 270 00:16:48,042 --> 00:16:51,645 I WOULD SIT ON MY ASS ALL DAY. 271 00:16:51,681 --> 00:16:53,512 I WOULD DO NOTHING. 272 00:16:53,548 --> 00:16:56,283 WELL, YOU DON'T NEED A MILLION DOLLARS TO DO NOTHIN', MAN. 273 00:16:56,318 --> 00:16:59,715 TAKE A LOOK AT MY COUSIN. HE'S BROKE, DON'T DO SHIT. 274 00:17:02,857 --> 00:17:07,292 [ Nina's Voice ] CORPORATE ACCOUNTS PAYABLE. NINA SPEAKING. JUST A MOMENT. 275 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,563 CORPORATE ACCOUNTS PAYABLE. NINA SPEAKING. 276 00:17:09,599 --> 00:17:11,593 JUST A MOMENT. 277 00:17:11,628 --> 00:17:14,370 CORPORATE ACCOUNTS PAYABLE. NINA SPEAKING. 278 00:17:14,406 --> 00:17:16,433 JUST A MOMENT. 279 00:17:16,468 --> 00:17:19,670 [ Lumbergh ] SO, YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF: 280 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,978 WITH EVERY DECISION YOU MAKE, IS THIS GOOD FOR THE COMPANY? 281 00:17:23,013 --> 00:17:26,241 - AM I HELPING WITH-- - IS THAT THE GUY? 282 00:17:26,276 --> 00:17:28,681 YEAH. WE'RE SCREWED. 283 00:17:28,717 --> 00:17:32,080 OKAY, THEN, UM-- 284 00:17:32,115 --> 00:17:37,220 I'D LIKE TO GO AHEAD AND WELCOME, UH, A NEW MEMBER TO OUR TEAM HERE. 285 00:17:37,255 --> 00:17:41,526 THIS IS, UH, BOB SLYDELL. 286 00:17:42,763 --> 00:17:45,127 YEAH. UH-- 287 00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:47,297 BOB IS A CONSULTANT. 288 00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:52,433 YEAH. HE'S GONNA BE SORT OF, UH, 289 00:17:52,469 --> 00:17:55,311 HELPING US OUT A LITTLE HERE, 290 00:17:55,346 --> 00:17:58,280 ASKING SOME QUESTIONS, MAYBE SEEING IF THERE ARE SOME WAYS... 291 00:17:58,316 --> 00:18:03,113 WE CAN MAKE THINGS RUN A LITTLE MORE SMOOTHLY AROUND HERE. 292 00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:06,416 YEAH. OH, AND REMEMBER, 293 00:18:06,451 --> 00:18:09,752 NEXT FRIDAY IS HAWAIIAN SHIRT DAY. 294 00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:15,391 SO, YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT TO, GO AHEAD AND, UH, 295 00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:18,266 WEAR A HAWAIIAN SHIRT AND JEANS. 296 00:18:18,301 --> 00:18:21,062 AND I SAID I DON'T CARE IF THEY LAY ME OFF, EITHER. 297 00:18:21,097 --> 00:18:24,974 BECAUSE I TOLD BILL THAT IF THEY MOVE MY DESK ONE MORE TIME, 298 00:18:25,009 --> 00:18:27,776 THEN I'M-- I'M QUITTING-- I'M GOING TO QUIT. 299 00:18:27,811 --> 00:18:32,541 AND I TOLD DOM TOO, BECAUSE THEY'VE MOVED MY DESK FOUR TIMES ALREADY THIS YEAR. 300 00:18:32,576 --> 00:18:34,744 AND I USED TO BE OVER BY THE WINDOW... 301 00:18:34,779 --> 00:18:38,046 AND I COULD SEE THE SQUIRRELS, AND THEY WERE MARRIED. 302 00:18:38,082 --> 00:18:41,588 BUT THEN THEY SWITCHED FROM THE SWINGLINE TO THE BOSTON STAPLER. 303 00:18:41,624 --> 00:18:44,621 BUT I KEPT MY SWINGLINE STAPLER BECAUSE IT DIDN'T BIND UP AS MUCH, 304 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:47,495 AND I KEPT THE STAPLES FOR THE SWINGLINE STAPLER. 305 00:18:47,531 --> 00:18:49,593 OKAY, MILTON. [ Milton On Phone ] AND, OH, NO, IT'S NOT OKAY, 306 00:18:49,628 --> 00:18:52,795 BECAUSE IF THEY MAKE ME-- IF THEY TAKE MY STAPLER, 307 00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:56,764 THEN I'LL--I'LL HAVE TO-- I'LL SET THE BUILDING ON FIRE. 308 00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:58,870 OKAY, WELL, THAT SOUNDS, UH, THAT SOUNDS GREAT. 309 00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:01,904 UH, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, ALL RIGHT? BYE. [ Milton Stammering ] 310 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,070 OH. 311 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,163 GOOD-BYE. 312 00:19:24,062 --> 00:19:28,666 [ Clicking ] 313 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,911 COME ON. 314 00:19:45,348 --> 00:19:47,322 OH, FOR CRYIN'-- 315 00:20:08,979 --> 00:20:11,374 HELLO, PETER. WHAT'S HAPPENING? 316 00:20:11,410 --> 00:20:15,149 UM... I'M GONNA NEED YOU... 317 00:20:15,184 --> 00:20:18,118 TO GO AHEAD AND COME IN TOMORROW. 318 00:20:18,154 --> 00:20:21,483 SO IF YOU COULD BE HERE AROUND... 319 00:20:21,518 --> 00:20:23,789 9:00, THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 320 00:20:23,824 --> 00:20:25,723 MM-KAY? 321 00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:28,726 OH, OH, AND I ALMOST FORGOT. 322 00:20:28,762 --> 00:20:33,427 UH, I'M ALSO GONNA NEED YOU TO GO AHEAD AND COME IN... 323 00:20:33,463 --> 00:20:36,170 ON SUNDAY TOO, 'KAY? 324 00:20:36,205 --> 00:20:39,602 WE, UM, LOST SOME PEOPLE THIS WEEK, 325 00:20:39,638 --> 00:20:43,105 AND, UH, WE NEED TO SORT OF PLAY CATCH-UP. 326 00:20:43,140 --> 00:20:45,248 THANKS. 327 00:20:49,147 --> 00:20:52,350 [ Peter ] SO I WAS SITTING IN MY CUBICLE TODAY, AND I REALIZED, 328 00:20:52,386 --> 00:20:55,984 EVER SINCE I STARTED WORKING, UM, 329 00:20:56,019 --> 00:20:58,991 EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE HAS BEEN WORSE THAN... 330 00:20:59,026 --> 00:21:01,594 THE DAY BEFORE IT. 331 00:21:01,630 --> 00:21:05,760 SO THAT MEANS THAT EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT YOU SEE ME, 332 00:21:05,795 --> 00:21:07,832 THAT'S ON THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. 333 00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:11,402 WHAT ABOUT TODAY? IS TODAY THE WORST DAY OF YOUR LIFE? 334 00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:14,233 - YEAH. - WOW. THAT'S MESSED UP. 335 00:21:17,177 --> 00:21:19,774 I'M SORRY. GO ON. 336 00:21:19,810 --> 00:21:23,752 IS THERE ANY WAY THAT YOU COULD SORT OF... 337 00:21:23,787 --> 00:21:28,890 JUST ZONK ME OUT SO THAT, LIKE, I DON'T KNOW THAT I'M AT WORK... IN HERE? 338 00:21:28,925 --> 00:21:32,787 COULD I COME HOME AND THINK THAT I'VE BEEN FISHING ALL DAY, OR SOMETHING? 339 00:21:32,822 --> 00:21:36,524 THAT'S... REALLY NOT WHAT I DO, PETER. 340 00:21:36,559 --> 00:21:39,267 [ Chuckles ] HOWEVER, 341 00:21:39,302 --> 00:21:43,568 THE GOOD NEWS IS, I THINK I CAN HELP YOU. 342 00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:46,232 I WANT YOU TO DO SOMETHING FOR ME, PETER. 343 00:21:47,505 --> 00:21:50,577 I WANT YOU TO TRY AND RELAX. 344 00:21:53,317 --> 00:21:56,383 I WANT YOU TO RELAX EVERY MUSCLE IN YOUR BODY, 345 00:21:56,418 --> 00:22:00,851 BEGINNING WITH YOUR TOES TO YOUR FINGERTIPS. 346 00:22:03,358 --> 00:22:06,857 NOW, I WANT YOU TO RELAX YOUR LEGS. 347 00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:10,329 YOU'RE BEGINNING TO FEEL YOUR EYELIDS GETTING HEAVY... 348 00:22:10,365 --> 00:22:13,267 AS YOU SLIP DEEPER AND DEEPER... 349 00:22:13,302 --> 00:22:16,403 INTO A STATE OF COMPLETE RELAXATION. 350 00:22:16,439 --> 00:22:20,569 ALL YOUR CARES AND CONCERNS ARE DISAPPEARING. 351 00:22:20,604 --> 00:22:24,210 DEEPER AND DEEPER. WAY DOWN. 352 00:22:24,246 --> 00:22:27,144 YOUR CONCERN ABOUT YOUR JOB... 353 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,377 MELTS AWAY, 354 00:22:29,413 --> 00:22:33,248 WAY, WAY DOWN. 355 00:22:33,284 --> 00:22:36,752 [ Grunts ] 356 00:22:36,788 --> 00:22:38,821 NOW, WHEN I COUNT BACKWARDS FROM THREE, 357 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:42,497 YOU'LL BE IN A STATE OF COMPLETE RELAXATION. 358 00:22:42,532 --> 00:22:45,695 YOUR WORRIES, CARES AND INHIBITIONS WILL BE GONE, 359 00:22:45,730 --> 00:22:48,871 AND YOU WILL REMAIN IN THAT STATE... 360 00:22:48,906 --> 00:22:51,534 UNTIL I SNAP MY FINGERS. 361 00:22:51,569 --> 00:22:54,974 THREE. DEEPER AND DEEPER. 362 00:22:55,010 --> 00:22:58,243 WAY, WAY DOWN. 363 00:22:58,279 --> 00:23:02,278 TWO. DEEPER AND DEEPER. 364 00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:05,311 W-W-WAY DOWN. 365 00:23:06,454 --> 00:23:10,855 [ Labored Breathing ] WHU-- WHU-- ONE. 366 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:15,659 [ Gasps ] OH, MY GOD! DOCTOR SWANSON! 367 00:23:15,694 --> 00:23:18,259 EW! EW! [ Woman ] IS HE BREATHING? 368 00:23:18,295 --> 00:23:21,430 CALL 911! OH! WHERE'S THE PHONE? WHERE'S THE GODDAMN PHONE? 369 00:23:21,465 --> 00:23:23,499 [ Man ] HURRY! 370 00:23:23,535 --> 00:23:25,606 [ Anne ] PETER! HURRY! 371 00:23:34,752 --> 00:23:36,683 [ Beeping ] 372 00:23:48,897 --> 00:23:50,895 [ Sighs ] 373 00:23:53,068 --> 00:23:56,136 [ Phone Rings ] 374 00:23:56,172 --> 00:23:59,908 [ Answering Machine Beeps ] [ Peter On Machine ] YEAH, HI. IT'S BILL LUMBERGH. 375 00:23:59,944 --> 00:24:02,706 IT'S ABOUT... 10:00. 376 00:24:02,742 --> 00:24:06,375 YEAH. JUST, UH, WONDERING WHERE YOU ARE. 377 00:24:06,411 --> 00:24:08,645 [ Rings, Beeps ] 378 00:24:08,681 --> 00:24:11,782 YEAH. HI. IT'S BILL LUMBERGH AGAIN. 379 00:24:11,817 --> 00:24:14,281 UH, I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU KNEW... 380 00:24:14,316 --> 00:24:19,824 THAT WE DID START AT THE, UH, USUAL TIME THIS MORNING. 381 00:24:19,859 --> 00:24:22,824 YEAH. IT ISN'T A HALF DAY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 382 00:24:22,860 --> 00:24:24,930 SO, IF YOU COULD JUST GO AHEAD... 383 00:24:24,966 --> 00:24:28,999 AND GET HERE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, THAT WOULD BE TERRIFIC. 384 00:24:48,389 --> 00:24:51,186 YEAH. HI. IT'S BILL LUM-- 385 00:24:51,221 --> 00:24:54,763 - YEAH. IT'S-- - YEAH. HI. IT'S BILL LUMBERGH-- 386 00:24:54,799 --> 00:24:58,560 YEAH. IT'S ME AGAIN. UH, I WAS AWAY FROM MY DESK FOR A MINUTE. 387 00:24:58,595 --> 00:25:01,865 [ Phone Rings ] JUST CHECKING IN, IN CASE YOU CALLED WHILE I WAS GONE. 388 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:06,067 HELLO? [ Anne ] PETER, WHAT'S GOING ON? 389 00:25:06,102 --> 00:25:10,972 HUH? IT'S 3:30. WHY AREN'T YOU AT WORK? 390 00:25:11,008 --> 00:25:14,174 BECAUSE I-- I-- I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT. 391 00:25:14,209 --> 00:25:16,584 [ Scoffs ] PETER, WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU? 392 00:25:16,620 --> 00:25:18,713 FIRST, YOU JUST SIT THERE WHILE DR. SWANSON DIES. 393 00:25:18,748 --> 00:25:21,450 THEN YOU JUST WALK OUT OF THE CAR AND EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS. 394 00:25:21,486 --> 00:25:25,022 DON'T BLAME THIS ON HYPNOSIS, EITHER. THAT'S TOTAL BULL-- [ Beeps ] 395 00:25:29,059 --> 00:25:31,027 [ Phone Rings, Answering Machine Beeps ] 396 00:25:31,062 --> 00:25:33,335 [ Anne ] LISTEN, ASSHOLE. NOBODY HANGS UP ON ME. 397 00:25:33,371 --> 00:25:36,699 WE'RE THROUGH. OH, AND ONE MORE THING. 398 00:25:36,734 --> 00:25:38,932 I'VE BEEN CHEATING ON YOU! 399 00:25:38,968 --> 00:25:41,643 [ Line Disconnects, Beeps ] 400 00:25:44,075 --> 00:25:47,111 SO, FROM NOW ON, ONLY USE THE NEW TIME SHEETS... 401 00:25:47,146 --> 00:25:51,553 IF YOU'VE WORKED ON TWO OR MORE JOB CODES IN ONE DAY, 402 00:25:51,588 --> 00:25:54,689 AND YOU NEED THE EXTRA COLUMNS TO FIT IT ALL IN. 403 00:25:54,724 --> 00:25:57,084 OTHERWISE, USE THE OLD TIME SHEETS-- WHERE'S PETER? 404 00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:59,192 I HEARD HE DIDN'T SHOW UP THIS WEEKEND. 405 00:25:59,227 --> 00:26:01,927 UH, I DON'T KNOW. I THINK THIS NEW SYSTEM WILL REALLY, REALLY HELP US OUT. 406 00:26:01,962 --> 00:26:06,932 - WHO THE HELL IS THAT GUY? - SO, UH, ANY QUESTIONS? 407 00:26:20,747 --> 00:26:23,043 HI. I'M PETER. HI. CAN I HELP YOU? 408 00:26:23,079 --> 00:26:25,588 WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' FOR LUNCH TODAY? 409 00:26:25,623 --> 00:26:28,317 UH, WELL, OUR SPECIALS TODAY ARE BLACKENED CHICKEN. 410 00:26:28,352 --> 00:26:30,516 AND-- IT'S ACTUALLY RIGHT THERE ON THE BOARD. EXCUSE ME. 411 00:26:33,053 --> 00:26:35,030 HEY, LOOK WHO'S BACK! 412 00:26:35,066 --> 00:26:38,194 TABLE FOR THREE TO-- 413 00:26:39,603 --> 00:26:41,568 I WAS ASKIN' WHAT YOU WERE DOIN' FOR LUNCH. 414 00:26:41,603 --> 00:26:44,131 WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE LUNCH WITH ME? 415 00:26:44,166 --> 00:26:46,237 [ Scoffs ] ARE YOU-- ARE YOU SERIOUS? 416 00:26:46,272 --> 00:26:48,238 YEAH. 417 00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:51,440 YEAH. UM, I DON'T-- I DON'T THINK I'M SUPPOSED TO DO THAT. 418 00:26:51,475 --> 00:26:53,509 OH. OKAY. 419 00:26:53,544 --> 00:26:56,180 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO. I'M GONNA GO NEXT DOOR AND GET A TABLE. 420 00:26:56,216 --> 00:26:58,948 AND IF YOU'D LIKE TO JOIN ME, UH, NO BIG DEAL, ALL RIGHT? 421 00:26:58,983 --> 00:27:01,089 AND IF NOT, THAT'S COOL TOO. OKAY? 422 00:27:01,125 --> 00:27:04,552 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 423 00:27:04,587 --> 00:27:08,193 WHEN YOU SAY, "NEXT DOOR," DO YOU MEAN CHILI'S OR FLINGER'S? 424 00:27:08,229 --> 00:27:10,195 FLINGER'S. 425 00:27:10,230 --> 00:27:12,431 OKAY. 426 00:27:12,466 --> 00:27:18,069 WHAT YOU DO AT INITECH IS, YOU TAKE THE SPECIFICATIONS FROM THE CUSTOMERS... 427 00:27:18,104 --> 00:27:20,068 AND YOU BRING THEM DOWN TO THE SOFTWARE ENGINEERS. 428 00:27:20,103 --> 00:27:22,036 YES. Y--YES. THAT'S-- THAT'S RIGHT. 429 00:27:22,071 --> 00:27:24,212 WELL, THEN I JUST HAVE TO ASK, 430 00:27:24,248 --> 00:27:29,151 WHY COULDN'T THE CUSTOMERS JUST TAKE THEM DIRECTLY TO THE SOFTWARE PEOPLE, HUH? 431 00:27:29,186 --> 00:27:32,514 WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHY. 432 00:27:32,550 --> 00:27:37,387 UH, BECAUSE... ENGINEERS ARE NOT GOOD AT DEALING WITH CUSTOMERS. 433 00:27:37,422 --> 00:27:39,354 UH-HUH. 434 00:27:39,390 --> 00:27:44,933 SO, YOU PHYSICALLY TAKE THE SPECS FROM THE CUSTOMER? 435 00:27:44,968 --> 00:27:46,999 WELL-- 436 00:27:48,331 --> 00:27:51,796 NO. MY SECRETARY DOES THAT, OR THEY'RE FAXED. 437 00:27:51,832 --> 00:27:53,337 HUH. 438 00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:56,341 SO THEN YOU MUST PHYSICALLY BRING THEM TO THE SOFTWARE PEOPLE. 439 00:27:56,376 --> 00:27:59,840 WELL... NO. 440 00:27:59,875 --> 00:28:04,353 I MEAN, SOMETIMES. 441 00:28:04,388 --> 00:28:08,346 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY YOU DO HERE? 442 00:28:08,382 --> 00:28:11,059 WELL, LOOK, I ALREADY TOLD YOU. 443 00:28:11,095 --> 00:28:15,127 I DEAL WITH THE GODDAMN CUSTOMERS SO THE ENGINEERS DON'T HAVE TO. 444 00:28:15,162 --> 00:28:18,758 I HAVE PEOPLE SKILLS. I AM GOOD AT DEALING WITH PEOPLE! 445 00:28:18,794 --> 00:28:22,662 CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? 446 00:28:22,698 --> 00:28:25,103 I-- 447 00:28:29,739 --> 00:28:31,740 LET'S SEE. 448 00:28:31,775 --> 00:28:35,344 YOU ARE MICHAEL... 449 00:28:36,781 --> 00:28:39,645 - BOLTON? - YEAH. 450 00:28:40,788 --> 00:28:43,891 IS THAT YOUR REAL NAME? YEAH. 451 00:28:46,190 --> 00:28:48,226 ARE YOU ANY RELATION TO THE POP SINGER? 452 00:28:48,261 --> 00:28:51,999 NO, IT'S-- IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE. I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU. 453 00:28:52,035 --> 00:28:55,634 I LOVE HIS MUSIC. I DO. I'M A MICHAEL BOLTON FAN. ME TOO. 454 00:28:55,669 --> 00:29:00,037 I DON'T KNOW IF IT GETS ANY BETTER THAN WHEN HE SINGS "WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMAN." 455 00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:02,144 BUT YOU MUST REALLY LOVE HIS MUSIC, HUH? 456 00:29:02,179 --> 00:29:02,976 [ Men Chuckle ] 457 00:29:04,944 --> 00:29:07,014 YEAH, HE'S-- HE'S-- HE'S PRETTY-- 458 00:29:07,049 --> 00:29:09,746 - HE'S PRETTY GOOD, I GUESS. - YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT, HE IS. 459 00:29:09,781 --> 00:29:11,919 [ Men Laugh ] RIGHT. 460 00:29:11,954 --> 00:29:14,649 SO, TELL ME. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SONG OF HIS? 461 00:29:14,684 --> 00:29:17,122 MMM-- 462 00:29:18,420 --> 00:29:20,961 [ Clears Throat ] I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW. 463 00:29:20,997 --> 00:29:24,258 [ Chuckles ] I MEAN, I GUESS I SORT OF LIKE THEM ALL. 464 00:29:24,294 --> 00:29:27,532 THAT'S A RIOT. I'M THE EXACT SAME WAY. 465 00:29:27,568 --> 00:29:30,297 BUT IT MUST BE TWICE AS HARD FOR YOU, BEING HAVING THE SAME NAME AS HIM. 466 00:29:30,333 --> 00:29:33,268 I CELEBRATE THE GUY'S ENTIRE CATALOG. 467 00:29:33,304 --> 00:29:35,940 ANYWAY, LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS, MICHAEL. 468 00:29:35,975 --> 00:29:38,143 YOU KNOW, YOU CAN JUST CALL ME MIKE. 469 00:29:43,715 --> 00:29:46,052 - HI. - HEY. 470 00:29:47,990 --> 00:29:50,958 I WONDER IF I'M ALLOWED TO, UH, WEAR THIS IN HERE. 471 00:29:50,993 --> 00:29:55,954 I THINK IT'LL BE OKAY. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT DOWN? 472 00:29:55,989 --> 00:29:58,165 OKAY. 473 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,998 [ Sighs ] 474 00:30:01,033 --> 00:30:05,063 WOW! THIS PLACE IS REALLY... NICE. 475 00:30:05,098 --> 00:30:07,268 YEAH. IS IT? 476 00:30:07,303 --> 00:30:09,710 YEAH, MY GOD, COMPARED TO CHOTCHKIE'S! 477 00:30:09,745 --> 00:30:11,872 I LIKE THE UNIFORMS BETTER, ANYWAY. 478 00:30:11,908 --> 00:30:14,048 I LIKE YOURS. 479 00:30:14,084 --> 00:30:16,082 UGH! 480 00:30:18,348 --> 00:30:20,983 - "WE'RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE." - [ Scoffs ] 481 00:30:21,018 --> 00:30:24,654 YEAH, REALLY. [ Chuckles ] 482 00:30:24,690 --> 00:30:27,562 IT'S ON YOUR-- 483 00:30:27,598 --> 00:30:31,660 OHH! YEAH. THAT'S-- THAT'S, UH-- 484 00:30:31,695 --> 00:30:35,596 THAT'S ONE OF MY-- MY PIECES OF FLAIR. WHAT'S A PIECE OF FLAIR? 485 00:30:35,632 --> 00:30:39,201 OH, IT'S, UH, WHERE, YOU KNOW, LIKE THESE SUSPENDERS... 486 00:30:39,236 --> 00:30:42,175 AND, UH, THE BUTTONS ARE ALL SORT OF-- 487 00:30:42,211 --> 00:30:46,778 WE'RE ACTUALLY REQUIRED TO WEAR, UM, 15 PIECES OF FLAIR. 488 00:30:46,814 --> 00:30:49,082 IT'S REALLY STUPID, ACTUALLY. 489 00:30:49,117 --> 00:30:51,884 DO YOU GET TO PICK 'EM YOURSELF? YEAH, YEAH, WE DO. 490 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,154 ALTHOUGH I DIDN'T ACTUALLY CHOOSE THESE. 491 00:30:54,189 --> 00:30:57,422 I JUST SORT OF GRABBED, YOU KNOW, 15 BUTTONS AND JUST-- 492 00:30:57,457 --> 00:31:00,124 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. YOU KNOW, I DON'T REALLY CARE. 493 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,527 I DON'T REALLY LIKE TALKING ABOUT MY FLAIR. 494 00:31:02,563 --> 00:31:04,699 OKAY. SO, 495 00:31:04,735 --> 00:31:08,263 WHERE DO YOU, UH, WORK, PETER? INITECH. 496 00:31:08,299 --> 00:31:10,400 AND, YEAH, WHAT-- WHAT DO YOU DO THERE? 497 00:31:11,639 --> 00:31:13,501 I SIT IN A CUBICLE, 498 00:31:13,536 --> 00:31:16,274 AND I UPDATE BANK SOFTWARE FOR THE 2000 SWITCH. 499 00:31:17,675 --> 00:31:21,042 WHAT'S THAT? WELL, SEE, THEY WROTE ALL THIS BANK SOFTWARE, 500 00:31:21,077 --> 00:31:25,113 AND, UH, TO SAVE SPACE, THEY USED TWO DIGITS FOR THE DATE INSTEAD OF FOUR. 501 00:31:25,149 --> 00:31:27,881 SO, LIKE, 98 INSTEAD OF 1998. 502 00:31:27,916 --> 00:31:31,888 UH, SO I GO THROUGH THESE THOUSANDS OF LINES OF CODE AND, UH-- 503 00:31:31,923 --> 00:31:34,355 IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER. 504 00:31:34,390 --> 00:31:37,259 I, UH, I DON'T LIKE MY JOB, AND, UH, 505 00:31:37,294 --> 00:31:39,396 I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA GO ANYMORE. 506 00:31:40,770 --> 00:31:43,298 YOU'RE JUST NOT GOING TO GO? YEAH. 507 00:31:43,333 --> 00:31:47,041 WON'T YOU GET FIRED? I DON'T KNOW. 508 00:31:47,076 --> 00:31:50,545 BUT I REALLY DON'T LIKE IT AND, UH, I'M NOT GONNA GO. 509 00:31:50,581 --> 00:31:52,639 WHAT, SO YOU'RE GONNA QUIT? 510 00:31:52,675 --> 00:31:57,513 NUH-UH. NOT REALLY. UH-- I'M JUST GONNA STOP GOING. 511 00:32:01,153 --> 00:32:03,185 UH, WHEN DID YOU DECIDE ALL OF THAT? 512 00:32:03,220 --> 00:32:05,186 ABOUT AN HOUR AGO. OH, REALLY. 513 00:32:05,221 --> 00:32:07,926 YEAH. ABOUT AN HOUR AGO. 514 00:32:07,961 --> 00:32:09,962 SO YOU'RE GONNA GET ANOTHER JOB? 515 00:32:09,997 --> 00:32:12,200 I DON'T THINK I'D LIKE ANOTHER JOB. 516 00:32:12,235 --> 00:32:16,069 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT MONEY AND BILLS AND-- 517 00:32:16,104 --> 00:32:18,806 YOU KNOW, I'VE NEVER REALLY LIKED PAYING BILLS. 518 00:32:18,842 --> 00:32:21,174 I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA DO THAT, EITHER. 519 00:32:22,371 --> 00:32:25,646 UH, WELL, SO WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO? 520 00:32:25,682 --> 00:32:27,677 I WANNA TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER, 521 00:32:27,712 --> 00:32:29,979 AND THEN I WANT TO GO BACK TO MY APARTMENT AND WATCH KUNG FU. 522 00:32:30,015 --> 00:32:32,317 DO YOU EVER WATCH KUNG FU? 523 00:32:33,349 --> 00:32:36,223 I LOVE KUNG FU. CHANNEL 39. 524 00:32:36,258 --> 00:32:39,559 TOTALLY. YOU SHOULD COME OVER AND WATCH KUNG FU TONIGHT. 525 00:32:39,594 --> 00:32:41,630 OKAY. GREAT. 526 00:32:41,665 --> 00:32:43,563 OKAY. CAN WE ORDER LUNCH FIRST? 527 00:32:43,598 --> 00:32:45,366 YEAH. OKAY. 528 00:32:45,402 --> 00:32:48,432 [ Muttering ] 529 00:32:52,741 --> 00:32:54,570 [ Indistinct Conversation ] 530 00:32:55,940 --> 00:32:58,112 NOT WORKING OUT. 531 00:33:00,750 --> 00:33:02,913 TOOK A STAPLER OFF MY DESK-- 532 00:33:02,948 --> 00:33:05,218 [ Continues, Indistinct ] 533 00:33:06,819 --> 00:33:09,484 [ All Laughing ] 534 00:33:09,519 --> 00:33:12,456 ANYWAY, SOUNDS GREAT, BOB. SEE YOU IN A FEW. 535 00:33:15,127 --> 00:33:17,394 HI, MILTON. WHAT'S HAPPENING? 536 00:33:17,429 --> 00:33:20,494 I'M SORRY? AH, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU... 537 00:33:20,529 --> 00:33:22,970 TO GO AHEAD AND MOVE YOUR DESK AGAIN. 538 00:33:23,006 --> 00:33:25,403 EH-- WHAT? NO. SO, IF YOU COULD GO AHEAD... 539 00:33:25,439 --> 00:33:28,140 AND GET IT AS FAR BACK AGAINST THAT WALL AS POSSIBLE, 540 00:33:28,176 --> 00:33:30,970 THAT WOULD BE GREAT. NO, NO, BECAUSE I WAS-- 541 00:33:31,005 --> 00:33:33,215 I WAS TOLD I NO LONGER-- THAT WAY, WE'LL HAVE SOME ROOM... 542 00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:35,616 FOR SOME OF THESE BOXES AND THINGS WE NEED TO PUT IN HERE. 543 00:33:35,652 --> 00:33:37,782 THERE'S NO ROOM. AND, UH-- 544 00:33:37,818 --> 00:33:40,584 OH. OH, THERE IT IS. 545 00:33:40,619 --> 00:33:44,020 WHAT? HERE, LET ME JUST GO AHEAD AND GET THAT FROM YOU. 546 00:33:44,055 --> 00:33:47,425 - [ Moans ] - GREAT. 547 00:33:47,461 --> 00:33:50,627 [ Whimpering ] SO IF YOU COULD JUST GET TO THAT... 548 00:33:50,662 --> 00:33:54,628 AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, THAT WOULD BE TERRIFIC. MM-KAY? 549 00:33:54,663 --> 00:33:57,604 THANKS A BUNCH, MILTON. GOOD-BYE. BUT-- 550 00:33:57,639 --> 00:34:00,732 WELL, OKAY, BUT... 551 00:34:00,767 --> 00:34:03,243 I COULD SET THE BUILDING ON FIRE. 552 00:34:06,175 --> 00:34:08,176 PETER. MICHAEL. 553 00:34:08,211 --> 00:34:11,616 WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN? I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA COME IN HERE AND START SHOOTING. 554 00:34:11,651 --> 00:34:14,948 NO. I JUST CAME TO GET MY ADDRESS BOOK. I'M NOT GONNA STAY. 555 00:34:14,984 --> 00:34:17,789 I GOT A PHONE NUMBER, MIKE, THAT I DON'T WANNA LOSE. WHAT? 556 00:34:17,824 --> 00:34:20,324 PETER, YOU'RE IN DEEP SHIT. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO COME IN ON SATURDAY. 557 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:24,830 WHAT WERE YOU DOING? MICHAEL, I DID NOTHING. 558 00:34:24,865 --> 00:34:29,303 I DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, AND IT WAS EVERYTHING THAT I THOUGHT IT COULD BE. 559 00:34:29,338 --> 00:34:31,968 I HOPE YOU HAVE A BETTER STORY THAN THAT FOR LUMBERGH. 560 00:34:32,004 --> 00:34:34,675 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING YOUR INTERVIEW RIGHT NOW WITH THE CONSULTANTS. 561 00:34:34,710 --> 00:34:37,008 THE WHO? THE CONSULTANTS. 562 00:34:37,043 --> 00:34:39,081 WHAT HAS GOTTEN INTO YOU? 563 00:34:40,176 --> 00:34:44,283 OH, YEAH. RIGHT. 564 00:34:44,319 --> 00:34:46,581 WAIT, PETER. PETER. YOU GOTTA POSTPONE IT, MAN. 565 00:34:46,617 --> 00:34:48,723 TELL 'EM YOU'VE BEEN SICK. MAKE SOMETHING UP. 566 00:34:48,759 --> 00:34:50,791 OH, NO WAY. NO, I FEEL GREAT. 567 00:34:50,827 --> 00:34:53,095 IT'S THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 568 00:34:54,459 --> 00:34:57,127 NEXT BATTER LOOKS LIKE A PETER GIBBONS. 569 00:34:57,162 --> 00:34:59,729 UH-HUH. AH, THERE YOU ARE. 570 00:34:59,764 --> 00:35:02,161 WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU. YOU MUST BE PETER GIBBONS. 571 00:35:02,196 --> 00:35:05,936 UH-HUH. TERRIFIC. I'M BOB SLYDELL. THIS IS MY ASSOCIATE BOB PORTER. 572 00:35:05,971 --> 00:35:07,937 OH, HI, BOB. BOB. 573 00:35:07,973 --> 00:35:11,907 WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND GRAB A SEAT AND JOIN US FOR A MINUTE OR TWO. 574 00:35:11,943 --> 00:35:15,582 YOU SEE, WHAT WE'RE ACTUALLY TRYING TO DO HERE IS WE'RE JUST-- 575 00:35:15,617 --> 00:35:19,046 WE'RE TRYING TO GET A FEEL FOR HOW PEOPLE SPEND THEIR DAY AT WORK. 576 00:35:19,082 --> 00:35:25,527 SO, IF YOU WOULD, WOULD YOU WALK US THROUGH A TYPICAL DAY FOR YOU? 577 00:35:25,562 --> 00:35:27,458 YEAH. GREAT. 578 00:35:27,494 --> 00:35:30,995 WELL, I GENERALLY COME IN AT LEAST 15 MINUTES LATE. 579 00:35:31,031 --> 00:35:34,033 UH, I USE THE SIDE DOOR. 580 00:35:34,068 --> 00:35:36,330 THAT WAY LUMBERGH CAN'T SEE ME. 581 00:35:36,366 --> 00:35:38,435 AND, UH, AND AFTER THAT, 582 00:35:38,470 --> 00:35:40,774 I JUST SORT OF SPACE OUT FOR ABOUT AN HOUR. 583 00:35:40,809 --> 00:35:44,509 UH, "SPACE OUT"? YEAH. 584 00:35:44,544 --> 00:35:47,909 I JUST STARE AT MY DESK, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE I'M WORKING. 585 00:35:47,944 --> 00:35:52,013 I DO THAT FOR, UH, PROBABLY ANOTHER HOUR AFTER LUNCH TOO. 586 00:35:52,048 --> 00:35:55,723 I'D SAY IN A GIVEN WEEK, I PROBABLY ONLY DO ABOUT 15 MINUTES... 587 00:35:55,758 --> 00:35:58,490 OF REAL, ACTUAL WORK. 588 00:36:00,195 --> 00:36:03,131 UH, PETER, WOULD YOU BE A GOOD SPORT... 589 00:36:03,167 --> 00:36:06,466 AND INDULGE US AND JUST... TELL US A LITTLE MORE? 590 00:36:06,501 --> 00:36:11,638 OH, YEAH. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT T.P.S. REPORTS. 591 00:36:11,673 --> 00:36:13,641 [ Chuckles ] 592 00:36:13,676 --> 00:36:18,778 THE THING IS, BOB, IT'S NOT THAT I'M LAZY. IT'S THAT I JUST DON'T CARE. 593 00:36:18,814 --> 00:36:20,641 DON'T-- DON'T CARE? 594 00:36:20,677 --> 00:36:23,484 IT'S A PROBLEM OF MOTIVATION, ALL RIGHT? 595 00:36:23,519 --> 00:36:26,848 NOW, IF I WORK MY ASS OFF AND INITECH SHIPS A FEW EXTRA UNITS, 596 00:36:26,883 --> 00:36:30,386 I DON'T SEE ANOTHER DIME, SO WHERE'S THE MOTIVATION? 597 00:36:30,421 --> 00:36:33,192 AND HERE'S SOMETHING ELSE, BOB. 598 00:36:33,228 --> 00:36:35,230 I HAVE EIGHT DIFFERENT BOSSES RIGHT NOW. 599 00:36:35,265 --> 00:36:37,461 I BEG YOUR PARDON? EIGHT? EIGHT BOSSES. EIGHT, BOB. 600 00:36:37,496 --> 00:36:40,830 SO THAT MEANS THAT WHEN I MAKE A MISTAKE, 601 00:36:40,866 --> 00:36:43,864 I HAVE EIGHT DIFFERENT PEOPLE COMING BY TO TELL ME ABOUT IT. 602 00:36:43,899 --> 00:36:47,370 MY ONLY REAL MOTIVATION IS NOT TO BE HASSLED. 603 00:36:47,406 --> 00:36:49,943 THAT AND THE FEAR OF LOSING MY JOB. 604 00:36:49,979 --> 00:36:53,478 BUT YOU KNOW, BOB, THAT'LL ONLY MAKE SOMEONE WORK JUST HARD ENOUGH NOT TO GET FIRED. 605 00:36:53,514 --> 00:36:56,451 WOULD YOU BEAR WITH ME FOR JUST A SECOND, PLEASE? 606 00:36:56,486 --> 00:36:58,484 OKAY. 607 00:36:59,449 --> 00:37:01,415 WHAT IF-- AND BELIEVE ME, 608 00:37:01,450 --> 00:37:04,623 THIS IS SO HYPOTHETICAL-- 609 00:37:04,658 --> 00:37:08,356 BUT WHAT IF YOU WERE OFFERED SOME KIND OF A STOCK OPTION, 610 00:37:08,391 --> 00:37:10,530 EQUITY-SHARING PROGRAM? 611 00:37:10,565 --> 00:37:12,767 WOULD THAT DO ANYTHING FOR YOU? I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS. 612 00:37:12,802 --> 00:37:17,165 LISTEN, I'M GONNA GO. UH, IT'S BEEN REALLY NICE TALKING TO BOTH OF YOU GUYS. 613 00:37:17,201 --> 00:37:21,105 ABSOLUTELY. THE PLEASURE'S ALL ON THIS SIDE OF THE TABLE, TRUST ME. 614 00:37:21,140 --> 00:37:24,573 GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR LAYOFFS, ALL RIGHT? I HOPE YOUR FIRINGS GO REALLY WELL. 615 00:37:24,608 --> 00:37:27,579 OKAY. GREAT. WOW. THANKS A LOT. 616 00:37:35,089 --> 00:37:37,515 SO, PETER, WHAT'S HAPPENING? 617 00:37:37,550 --> 00:37:39,558 LISTEN, UH-- 618 00:37:46,401 --> 00:37:48,800 JOANNA, WOULD YOU COME HERE A MINUTE, PLEASE? 619 00:37:48,835 --> 00:37:50,801 YEAH. 620 00:37:50,837 --> 00:37:54,976 I'M SORRY I WAS LATE, BUT I WAS HAVING LUNCH AND I, UH-- 621 00:37:55,012 --> 00:37:57,310 WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR FLAIR. 622 00:37:57,345 --> 00:38:01,644 REALLY? I-I HAVE 15 PIECES ON. I ALSO-- 623 00:38:01,679 --> 00:38:06,320 WELL, 15 IS THE MINIMUM, OKAY? OH. OKAY. 624 00:38:06,356 --> 00:38:08,783 NOW, YOU KNOW, IT'S UP TO YOU WHETHER OR NOT... 625 00:38:08,818 --> 00:38:11,251 YOU WANNA JUST DO THE BARE MINIMUM OR, UH-- 626 00:38:11,286 --> 00:38:15,991 WELL, LIKE BRIAN, FOR EXAMPLE, HAS 37 PIECES OF FLAIR ON TODAY. 627 00:38:16,027 --> 00:38:19,763 AND A TERRIFIC SMILE. OKAY, SO YOU WANT ME TO WEAR MORE? 628 00:38:21,531 --> 00:38:23,700 - LOOK, JOANNA-- - YEAH? 629 00:38:23,736 --> 00:38:25,836 PEOPLE CAN GET A CHEESEBURGER ANYWHERE, OKAY? 630 00:38:25,872 --> 00:38:28,838 THEY COME TO CHOTCHKIE'S FOR THE ATMOSPHERE AND THE ATTITUDE. 631 00:38:28,874 --> 00:38:31,540 OKAY? THAT'S WHAT THE FLAIR'S ABOUT. IT'S ABOUT FUN. 632 00:38:31,575 --> 00:38:34,844 YEAH. OKAY, SO MORE THEN, YEAH? 633 00:38:36,616 --> 00:38:39,917 LOOK, WE WANT YOU TO EXPRESS YOURSELF. OKAY? 634 00:38:39,952 --> 00:38:44,285 NOW, IF YOU FEEL THAT THE BARE MINIMUM IS ENOUGH, THEN OKAY. 635 00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:50,528 BUT SOME PEOPLE CHOOSE TO WEAR MORE AND WE ENCOURAGE THAT. OKAY? 636 00:38:50,563 --> 00:38:53,496 YOU DO WANNA EXPRESS YOURSELF, DON'T YOU? 637 00:38:53,531 --> 00:38:56,166 - Y-YEAH. - OKAY, GREAT, GREAT. 638 00:38:56,201 --> 00:38:58,199 THAT'S ALL I ASK. 639 00:38:58,234 --> 00:38:59,969 OKAY. 640 00:39:00,004 --> 00:39:04,979 RIGHT, SO THERE'S THREE MORE PEOPLE WE CAN EASILY LOSE. 641 00:39:05,015 --> 00:39:08,111 AND THEN THERE'S TOM SMYKOWSKI. 642 00:39:08,147 --> 00:39:10,215 HE'S USELESS. 643 00:39:10,250 --> 00:39:13,485 GONE. SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. 644 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:17,324 HERE'S A PECULIAR-- UH, MILTON WADDAMS. 645 00:39:17,359 --> 00:39:19,223 WHO'S HE? YOU KNOW, SQUIRRELY-LOOKING GUY. 646 00:39:19,259 --> 00:39:21,259 MUMBLES A LOT. OH, YEAH. 647 00:39:21,294 --> 00:39:25,866 YEAH, WE-- WE CAN'T ACTUALLY FIND A RECORD OF HIM BEING A CURRENT EMPLOYEE HERE. 648 00:39:25,902 --> 00:39:29,530 I LOOKED INTO IT MORE DEEPLY, AND I FOUND THAT APPARENTLY WHAT HAPPENED... 649 00:39:29,565 --> 00:39:33,535 IS THAT HE WAS LAID OFF FIVE YEARS AGO, AND NO ONE EVER TOLD HIM ABOUT IT. 650 00:39:33,570 --> 00:39:37,509 BUT THROUGH SOME KIND OF GLITCH IN THE PAYROLL DEPARTMENT, HE STILL GETS A PAYCHECK. 651 00:39:37,545 --> 00:39:40,445 SO WE JUST WENT AHEAD AND FIXED THE GLITCH. 652 00:39:40,481 --> 00:39:44,042 GREAT. SO, UH, MILTON HAS BEEN LET GO. 653 00:39:44,077 --> 00:39:45,283 WELL, JUST A SECOND THERE, PROFESSOR. 654 00:39:45,319 --> 00:39:49,015 WE, UH, WE FIXED THE GLITCH, 655 00:39:49,050 --> 00:39:51,325 SO HE WON'T BE RECEIVING A PAYCHECK ANYMORE, 656 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,759 SO IT'LL JUST WORK ITSELF OUT NATURALLY. 657 00:39:53,794 --> 00:39:56,230 WE ALWAYS LIKE TO AVOID CONFRONTATION WHENEVER POSSIBLE. 658 00:39:56,265 --> 00:39:58,126 THE PROBLEM IS SOLVED FROM YOUR END. 659 00:39:58,162 --> 00:40:02,864 UM, I'D LIKE TO MOVE US RIGHT ALONG TO A PETER GIBBONS. 660 00:40:02,900 --> 00:40:05,735 NOW, WE HAD A CHANCE TO MEET THIS YOUNG MAN, 661 00:40:05,770 --> 00:40:07,902 AND, BOY, THAT'S JUST A STRAIGHT SHOOTER... 662 00:40:07,938 --> 00:40:10,009 WITH UPPER MANAGEMENT WRITTEN ALL OVER HIM. 663 00:40:10,045 --> 00:40:12,845 [ Inhales ] OOH. 664 00:40:12,881 --> 00:40:15,848 YEAH. UM-- 665 00:40:15,884 --> 00:40:19,418 I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO AHEAD AND SORT OF DISAGREE WITH YOU THERE. 666 00:40:19,454 --> 00:40:21,984 YEAH, UH, HE'S BEEN REAL FLAKY LATELY, 667 00:40:22,019 --> 00:40:26,261 AND I'M JUST NOT SURE THAT HE'S THE CALIBER PERSON... 668 00:40:26,296 --> 00:40:28,156 THAT WE WOULD WANT FOR UPPER MANAGEMENT. 669 00:40:28,192 --> 00:40:33,868 HE'S ALSO BEEN HAVING SOME PROBLEMS WITH HIS T.P.S. REPORTS. 670 00:40:33,903 --> 00:40:36,264 I'LL HANDLE THIS. 671 00:40:36,300 --> 00:40:38,733 WE FEEL... 672 00:40:38,768 --> 00:40:40,840 THAT THE PROBLEM ISN'T WITH PETER. 673 00:40:40,875 --> 00:40:42,877 MM-MMM. 674 00:40:42,913 --> 00:40:46,440 IT'S THAT YOU HAVEN'T CHALLENGED HIM ENOUGH TO GET HIM REALLY MOTIVATED. 675 00:40:46,475 --> 00:40:48,916 THERE IT IS. 676 00:40:48,951 --> 00:40:51,549 YEAH, UH, WELL, 677 00:40:51,585 --> 00:40:53,851 I'M JUST NOT SURE ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW. 678 00:40:53,887 --> 00:40:56,986 YEAH, BILL, LET ME ASK YOU A REAL QUICK QUESTION HERE. 679 00:40:57,021 --> 00:41:00,151 HOW MUCH TIME WOULD YOU SAY YOU SPEND EACH WEEK... 680 00:41:00,186 --> 00:41:02,587 DEALING WITH THESE T.P.S. REPORTS? 681 00:41:02,622 --> 00:41:08,503 YEAH. 682 00:41:16,709 --> 00:41:19,613 ♪ DAMN, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA ♪ 683 00:41:28,985 --> 00:41:32,022 ♪ DAMN, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA ♪ 684 00:41:32,057 --> 00:41:34,321 ♪ A REAL GANGSTA-ASS NIGGA PLAYS HIS CARDS RIGHT ♪ 685 00:41:34,356 --> 00:41:37,226 ♪ A REAL GANGSTA-ASS NIGGA NEVER RUNS HIS MOUTH ♪ 686 00:41:37,261 --> 00:41:39,730 ♪ 'CAUSE REAL GANGSTA-ASS NIGGAS DON'T START FIGHTS ♪ 687 00:41:39,765 --> 00:41:43,030 ♪ AND NIGGAS ALWAYS GOTTA HIGH CAP ♪ 688 00:41:43,066 --> 00:41:45,265 ♪ SHOWIN' ALL HIS BOYS HOW HE SHOT 'EM ♪ 689 00:41:45,300 --> 00:41:48,038 ♪ BUT REAL GANGSTA-ASS NIGGAS DON'T FLEX MUCH ♪ 690 00:41:48,074 --> 00:41:50,612 ♪ 'CAUSE REAL GANGSTA-ASS NIGGAS KNOW THEY GOT 'EM ♪ 691 00:41:50,647 --> 00:41:54,482 ♪ AND EVERYTHING'S COOL IN THE MIND OF A GANGSTA ♪ 692 00:41:54,517 --> 00:41:56,414 ♪ 'CAUSE GANGSTA-ASS NIGGAS THINK DEEP ♪ 693 00:41:56,449 --> 00:41:58,983 ♪ UP 365 A YEAR, 24-7 ♪ 694 00:41:59,019 --> 00:42:01,985 [ Indistinct ] ♪ REAL GANGSTA-ASS NIGGAS DON'T SLEEP ♪ 695 00:42:02,021 --> 00:42:04,922 ♪ AND ALL I GOTTA SAY TO YOU WANNABE, GONNA-BE ♪ 696 00:42:04,957 --> 00:42:07,056 ♪ COOTCHIE-EATIN', JEALOUS-HEART PRANKSTERS ♪ 697 00:42:07,091 --> 00:42:10,156 ♪ IS WHEN THE SHIT JUMPS UP WHAT YOU GON' DO ♪ 698 00:42:10,191 --> 00:42:12,930 ♪ DAMN, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA ♪ 699 00:42:15,836 --> 00:42:18,436 [ Lawrence ] HEY, PETER, MAN! CHECK OUT CHANNEL 9. 700 00:42:18,472 --> 00:42:20,674 IT'S THE BREAST EXAMS. WHOA! 701 00:42:33,984 --> 00:42:36,419 ♪ DAMN, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA ♪ 702 00:42:36,454 --> 00:42:38,857 HI, PETER. ♪ FEEDIN' THE POOR AND HELPIN' OUT WITH THEIR BILLS ♪ 703 00:42:38,892 --> 00:42:42,155 HI, DOM. ♪ ALTHOUGH I WAS BORN IN JAMAICA ♪ 704 00:42:42,190 --> 00:42:45,092 ♪ NOW I'M IN THE U.S. MAKING DEALS ♪ 705 00:42:45,127 --> 00:42:47,733 ♪ DAMN, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA ♪ 706 00:42:47,769 --> 00:42:49,933 ♪ I MEAN, ONE THAT YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW ♪ 707 00:42:49,969 --> 00:42:52,903 ♪ RIDING AROUND TOWN IN A DROP-TOP BENZ ♪ 708 00:42:52,939 --> 00:42:56,470 ♪ HITTIN' SWITCHES IN MY BLACK SIX-FOUR ♪ 709 00:42:56,505 --> 00:42:58,845 ♪ NOW GANGSTA-ASS NIGGAS COME IN ALL SHAPES AND COLORS ♪ 710 00:42:58,881 --> 00:43:01,779 ♪ SOME GOT KILLED IN THE PAST ♪ TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE. 711 00:43:01,815 --> 00:43:03,816 ♪ BUT THIS GANGSTA HERE WAS A SMART ONE ♪ 712 00:43:03,851 --> 00:43:05,851 ♪ STARTED LIVING FOR THE LORD AND I'LL LAST ♪ 713 00:43:05,887 --> 00:43:09,382 ♪ NOW ALL I GOTTA SAY TO YOU WANNABE, GONNA-BE ♪ 714 00:43:09,418 --> 00:43:11,991 ♪ CRUMB-SNATCHIN', COOTCHIE-EATIN' PRANKSTERS ♪ 715 00:43:12,027 --> 00:43:14,826 ♪ WHEN THE GRIM REAPER STEPS UP WHAT THE HELL YOU GONNA DO ♪ 716 00:43:14,862 --> 00:43:17,291 ♪ DAMN, IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A GANGSTA ♪♪ 717 00:43:27,903 --> 00:43:31,071 SO, PETER, WHAT'S HAPPENING? 718 00:43:31,106 --> 00:43:34,374 UH, NOW, ARE YOU GOING TO GO AHEAD... 719 00:43:34,409 --> 00:43:38,379 AND HAVE THOSE T.P.S. REPORTS FOR US THIS AFTERNOON? 720 00:43:38,415 --> 00:43:40,855 NO. 721 00:43:40,890 --> 00:43:43,056 AH, YEAH. 722 00:43:43,091 --> 00:43:48,628 SO I GUESS WE SHOULD PROBABLY GO AHEAD AND HAVE A LITTLE TALK, HMM? 723 00:43:48,664 --> 00:43:51,627 NOT RIGHT NOW, LUMBERGH. I'M-- I'M KINDA BUSY. 724 00:43:51,663 --> 00:43:56,836 IN FACT, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK YOU TO GO AHEAD AND JUST COME BACK ANOTHER TIME. 725 00:43:56,872 --> 00:43:59,674 I GOT A MEETING WITH THE BOBS IN A COUPLE MINUTES. 726 00:44:00,972 --> 00:44:03,508 UH, I WASN'T AWARE OF A MEETING WITH THEM. 727 00:44:03,543 --> 00:44:05,779 YEAH, THEY CALLED ME AT HOME. 728 00:44:10,418 --> 00:44:12,282 THAT SOUNDS GOOD, PETER. 729 00:44:12,317 --> 00:44:15,252 AND, UH, WE'LL GO AHEAD AND GET THIS ALL FIXED UP FOR YOU. 730 00:44:15,287 --> 00:44:17,288 GREAT. 731 00:44:17,324 --> 00:44:20,728 [ Muttering ] 732 00:44:22,728 --> 00:44:25,062 HI, MILTON. WHAT'S HAPPENING? 733 00:44:25,098 --> 00:44:28,495 I WAS-- I-I-- I DIDN'T RECEIVE MY PAYCHECK THIS WEEK. 734 00:44:28,530 --> 00:44:33,306 UH, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TALK TO PAYROLL ABOUT THAT. 735 00:44:33,341 --> 00:44:35,374 I DID AND THEY SAID-- 736 00:44:35,409 --> 00:44:40,343 MILT, WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO GO AHEAD AND MOVE YOU DOWNSTAIRS INTO STORAGE "B." 737 00:44:40,378 --> 00:44:43,950 NO, I-I WAS TOLD I COULD NOT-- WE HAVE SOME NEW PEOPLE COMING IN, 738 00:44:43,985 --> 00:44:46,282 NO. THERE'S-- AND WE NEED ALL THE SPACE WE CAN GET. 739 00:44:46,317 --> 00:44:49,154 BUT THERE'S NO SPACE-- SO IF YOU COULD JUST GO AHEAD... 740 00:44:49,190 --> 00:44:53,323 AND PACK UP YOUR STUFF, AND MOVE IT DOWN THERE, [ Stammering ] 741 00:44:53,358 --> 00:44:56,359 THAT WOULD BE TERRIFIC-- MM-KAY? I WAS TOLD I COULD STAY--- 742 00:44:56,395 --> 00:44:58,566 EXCUSE ME. 743 00:44:58,601 --> 00:45:04,102 I BELIEVE YOU HAVE MY STAPLER, PLEASE. MMM. 744 00:45:04,137 --> 00:45:06,401 LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE BEEN MISSING A LOT OF WORK LATELY. 745 00:45:06,436 --> 00:45:10,038 I WOULDN'T SAY I'VE BEEN MISSING IT, BOB. [ Laughing ] 746 00:45:10,073 --> 00:45:13,209 GOOD ONE. OH, THAT'S TERRIFIC, PETER. 747 00:45:13,245 --> 00:45:16,381 I-I'M SURE YOU'VE-- YOU'VE HEARD SOME OF THE RUMORS... 748 00:45:16,416 --> 00:45:19,854 CIRCULATING AROUND THE HALLWAYS ABOUT HOW WE'RE GOING TO BE DOING... 749 00:45:19,889 --> 00:45:22,451 A LITTLE "HOUSECLEANING" WITH SOME OF THE SOFTWARE PEOPLE. 750 00:45:22,487 --> 00:45:25,792 WELL, BOB, I HAVE HEARD THAT, AND YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO. 751 00:45:25,828 --> 00:45:27,756 WE'RE GONNA BE GETTING RID OF THESE PEOPLE HERE. 752 00:45:27,791 --> 00:45:31,330 FIRST, MR. SAMIR NAGA-- 753 00:45:31,365 --> 00:45:33,593 HE-- HE-- NAGA-- 754 00:45:33,628 --> 00:45:37,198 NAGA--- NOT GONNA WORK HERE ANYMORE ANYWAY. [ Laughing ] 755 00:45:37,233 --> 00:45:40,772 AND MR. MIKE BOLTON. NOBODY'S GONNA MISS HIM. 756 00:45:40,808 --> 00:45:42,437 YOU'RE GONNA LAYOFF SAMIR AND MICHAEL? 757 00:45:42,473 --> 00:45:45,308 AH, YEAH, WE'RE GONNA BRING IN SOME ENTRY-LEVEL GRADUATES. 758 00:45:45,343 --> 00:45:47,310 FARM SOME WORK OUT TO SINGAPORE. THAT'S THE USUAL DEAL. 759 00:45:47,346 --> 00:45:50,746 IT'S STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE. DO THEY KNOW THIS YET? 760 00:45:50,782 --> 00:45:53,184 NO. NO, OF COURSE NOT. 761 00:45:53,219 --> 00:45:56,289 WE FIND IT'S ALWAYS BETTER TO FIRE PEOPLE ON A FRIDAY. 762 00:45:56,325 --> 00:46:00,022 STUDIES HAVE STATISTICALLY SHOWN THAT THERE'S LESS CHANCE OF AN INCIDENT... 763 00:46:00,057 --> 00:46:01,863 IF YOU DO IT AT THE END OF THE WEEK. 764 00:46:01,898 --> 00:46:05,097 PETER, WHAT WE'D LIKE TO DO IS PUT YOU INTO POSITION... 765 00:46:05,133 --> 00:46:10,033 TO HAVE AS MANY AS FOUR PEOPLE WORKING RIGHT UNDERNEATH YOU. 766 00:46:10,068 --> 00:46:13,374 - THIS IS A BIG PROMOTION, PETE. - IT'S HUGE. 767 00:46:13,409 --> 00:46:16,910 SO YOU'RE GOING TO FIRE MICHAEL AND SAMIR AND YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME MORE MONEY? 768 00:46:18,775 --> 00:46:22,811 - HMM? - WOW! 769 00:46:22,846 --> 00:46:26,986 HMM. YEAH. THAT'S IT. 770 00:46:27,021 --> 00:46:30,056 THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I NEED. UH-HUH. GIVE IT TO ME. 771 00:46:30,091 --> 00:46:32,421 COME ON, YOU LITTLE FUCKER. LET'S GO. THAT'S WHAT I NEED. 772 00:46:32,456 --> 00:46:35,657 LET'S DO THAT. LET'S DO EXACTLY THAT, YOU LITTLE FUCK-- 773 00:46:35,693 --> 00:46:38,165 MICHAEL. HEY. 774 00:46:38,201 --> 00:46:40,802 LISTEN TO ME. 775 00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:44,166 WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT? 776 00:46:44,201 --> 00:46:47,872 MICHAEL, THERE COMES A POINT IN A MAN'S LIFE, 777 00:46:47,907 --> 00:46:51,539 AND MAYBE THAT TIME FOR YOU IS NOW, 778 00:46:51,574 --> 00:46:55,215 WHEN IT DOESN'T HURT TO START THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE. 779 00:46:55,250 --> 00:46:59,380 UH, NO OFFENSE THERE, PETER, BUT SPEAK FOR YOURSELF THERE, SPORT. 780 00:46:59,415 --> 00:47:02,454 I'M NOT THE ONE WHO'S BEEN FLAKIN' OUT AT WORK. 781 00:47:02,489 --> 00:47:06,252 I KNOW YOU HAD THIS RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE OR WHATEVER THE HELL THAT WAS, 782 00:47:06,288 --> 00:47:10,058 BUT YOU'D BETTER SNAP OUT OF IT AND GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, OR YOU'RE GONNA GET CANNED. 783 00:47:10,093 --> 00:47:13,767 YEAH, AND, UH, AND I-- LISTEN. 784 00:47:13,803 --> 00:47:15,762 THAT VIRUS YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT? 785 00:47:15,797 --> 00:47:19,301 THE ONE THAT COULD RIP OFF THE COMPANY FOR A BUNCH OF MONEY. 786 00:47:19,336 --> 00:47:22,409 - YEAH, WHAT ABOUT IT? - WELL, HOW DOES IT WORK? 787 00:47:22,444 --> 00:47:25,006 IT'S PRETTY BRILLIANT. 788 00:47:25,041 --> 00:47:28,014 WHAT IT DOES IS, EVERY TIME THERE'S A BANK TRANSACTION WHERE INTEREST IS COMPUTED, 789 00:47:28,049 --> 00:47:30,281 YOU KNOW, THOUSANDS A DAY, THE COMPUTER ENDS UP... 790 00:47:30,317 --> 00:47:32,849 WITH THESE FRACTIONS OF A CENT, WHICH IT USUALLY ROUNDS OFF. 791 00:47:32,884 --> 00:47:37,354 WHAT THIS DOES IS, IT TAKES THOSE LITTLE REMAINDERS AND PUTS IT INTO AN ACCOUNT. 792 00:47:37,389 --> 00:47:40,090 THIS SOUNDS FAMILIAR. YEAH, THEY DID IT IN SUPERMAN III. 793 00:47:40,125 --> 00:47:43,023 RIGHT, UH- AN UNDERRATED MOVIE, ACTUALLY. 794 00:47:43,058 --> 00:47:46,528 AND A BUNCH OF HACKERS DID IT IN THE '70s AS WELL. ONE OF THEM GOT BUSTED. 795 00:47:46,564 --> 00:47:49,062 WELL, SO THEY CHECK FOR THIS NOW. NO, HERE'S THE THING. 796 00:47:49,098 --> 00:47:53,307 INITECH'S SO BACKED UP WITH ALL THE SOFTWARE WE'RE UPDATING FOR THE YEAR 2000, 797 00:47:53,343 --> 00:47:54,670 THEY'D NEVER NOTICE. 798 00:47:54,706 --> 00:47:56,341 YOU'RE RIGHT. 799 00:47:56,377 --> 00:47:59,241 AND EVEN IF THEY WANTED TO, THEY COULDN'T CHECK ALL THAT CODE. 800 00:47:59,277 --> 00:48:01,739 THUMBS UP THEIR ASSES. THUMBS UP THEIR ASSES. 801 00:48:01,775 --> 00:48:05,785 SO, MICHAEL, WHAT'S TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THIS? 802 00:48:05,821 --> 00:48:08,252 IT'S NOT WORTH THE RISK. I GOT A GOOD JOB. 803 00:48:09,725 --> 00:48:12,754 WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE A GOOD JOB? 804 00:48:12,790 --> 00:48:14,929 COCK-GOBBLERS! 805 00:48:17,826 --> 00:48:21,400 SAMIR AND I ARE THE BEST PROGRAMMERS THEY GOT AT THAT PLACE. 806 00:48:21,435 --> 00:48:24,298 AND YOU, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN SHOWIN' UP, AND YOU GET TO KEEP YOUR JOB. 807 00:48:24,334 --> 00:48:27,301 ACTUALLY, I'M BEING PROMOTED. WHAT? 808 00:48:27,337 --> 00:48:31,171 I KNOW, MICHAEL. IT'S COMPLETELY UNFAIR. 809 00:48:31,207 --> 00:48:34,245 AND I REALIZED SOMETHING TODAY. 810 00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:37,079 IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT ME AND MY DREAM OF DOING NOTHING. 811 00:48:37,114 --> 00:48:41,055 IT'S ABOUT ALL OF US TOGETHER. 812 00:48:41,090 --> 00:48:43,389 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME AT THAT HYPNOTHERAPIST, 813 00:48:43,425 --> 00:48:46,850 AND, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE IT WAS JUST SHOCK AND IT'S WEARING OFF NOW, 814 00:48:46,886 --> 00:48:49,425 BUT WHEN I SAW THAT FAT MAN KEEL OVER AND DIE-- 815 00:48:49,460 --> 00:48:52,799 MICHAEL, WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON THIS EARTH. 816 00:48:52,834 --> 00:48:55,464 WE WEREN'T MEANT TO SPEND IT THIS WAY. 817 00:48:55,500 --> 00:48:58,700 HUMAN BEINGS WERE NOT MEANT TO SIT IN LITTLE CUBICLES, 818 00:48:58,736 --> 00:49:02,101 STARING AT COMPUTER SCREENS ALL DAY, FILLING OUT USELESS FORMS... 819 00:49:02,136 --> 00:49:06,740 AND LISTENING TO EIGHT DIFFERENT BOSSES DRONE ON ABOUT MISSION STATEMENTS. 820 00:49:06,775 --> 00:49:09,242 I TOLD THOSE FUDGE-PACKERS I LIKED MICHAEL BOLTON'S MUSIC. 821 00:49:09,278 --> 00:49:13,110 OH. THAT IS NOT RIGHT, MICHAEL. 822 00:49:13,145 --> 00:49:15,949 FOR FIVE YEARS NOW, YOU'VE WORKED YOUR ASS OFF AT INITECH, 823 00:49:15,985 --> 00:49:20,123 HOPING FOR A PROMOTION OR SOME KIND OF PROFIT-SHARING OR SOMETHING. 824 00:49:20,158 --> 00:49:24,464 FIVE YEARS OF YOUR MID-20s NOW GONE. 825 00:49:24,500 --> 00:49:28,335 AND YOU'RE GONNA GO IN TOMORROW, THEY'RE GONNA THROW YOU OUT ON THE STREET. 826 00:49:28,371 --> 00:49:30,335 YOU KNOW WHY? 827 00:49:30,371 --> 00:49:34,702 SO THAT BILL LUMBERGH'S STOCK WILL GO UP A QUARTER OF A POINT. 828 00:49:34,738 --> 00:49:36,404 UGH. 829 00:49:36,439 --> 00:49:38,572 MICHAEL, LET'S MAKE THAT STOCK GO DOWN, 830 00:49:38,608 --> 00:49:41,071 AND LET'S TAKE ENOUGH MONEY OUT OF THAT PLACE... 831 00:49:41,106 --> 00:49:45,278 SO THAT WE NEVER EVER HAVE TO SIT IN A CUBICLE EVER AGAIN. 832 00:49:45,313 --> 00:49:47,349 YOUR SOFTWARE WORKS, RIGHT? 833 00:49:47,384 --> 00:49:49,817 OF COURSE IT WORKS. THAT'S NOT THE POINT. 834 00:49:49,852 --> 00:49:52,721 LOOK, EVEN IF I WANTED TO, I WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO INSTALL IT. 835 00:49:52,756 --> 00:49:55,394 I DON'T KNOW THE CREDIT UNION'S SOFTWARE WELL ENOUGH. OKAY? 836 00:49:55,429 --> 00:49:56,859 YEAH. 837 00:49:56,894 --> 00:49:59,166 BUT SAMIR DOES. 838 00:49:59,202 --> 00:50:01,996 BUT, PETER, THAT'S NOT MUCH MONEY. THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF IT. 839 00:50:02,031 --> 00:50:05,638 EACH WITHDRAWAL, THAT'S A FRACTION OF A CENT. THAT'S TOO SMALL TO NOTICE. 840 00:50:05,674 --> 00:50:09,909 BUT A FEW THOUSAND WITHDRAWALS A DAY, YOU SPACE IT OUT OVER A COUPLE OF YEARS, 841 00:50:09,944 --> 00:50:12,375 THAT'S A FEW HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS. 842 00:50:12,410 --> 00:50:15,616 - IT'S LIKE SUPERMAN III. - SUPERMAN III--WHAT-- 843 00:50:15,651 --> 00:50:17,444 LOOK, I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW. 844 00:50:17,479 --> 00:50:19,480 I HAVE TO GET MY RÉSUMÉ READY. 845 00:50:19,515 --> 00:50:23,690 GET YOUR RÉSUMÉ READY? FOR WHAT? FOR ANOTHER JOB WHERE THEY CAN JUST FIRE YOU FOR NO REASON? 846 00:50:23,726 --> 00:50:25,482 THAT'S RIGHT! IF I'M LUCKY! 847 00:50:25,517 --> 00:50:30,593 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU GUYS, BUT I'M TIRED OF BEING PUSHED AROUND. AREN'T YOU? 848 00:50:30,628 --> 00:50:33,360 YES, PETER! BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL. 849 00:50:33,395 --> 00:50:35,931 ILLEGAL? SAMIR, THIS IS AMERICA! 850 00:50:35,966 --> 00:50:38,705 COME ON. SIT DOWN. 851 00:50:38,740 --> 00:50:41,306 COME ON. THIS ISN'T RIYADH. 852 00:50:41,341 --> 00:50:44,171 THEY'RE NOT GONNA SAW YOUR HANDS OFF HERE, ALL RIGHT? 853 00:50:44,206 --> 00:50:47,244 THE WORST THEY WOULD EVER DO IS, THEY WOULD PUT YOU, FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS, 854 00:50:47,279 --> 00:50:50,112 INTO A WHITE-COLLAR, MINIMUM-SECURITY RESORT. 855 00:50:50,148 --> 00:50:52,219 SHIT, WE SHOULD BE SO LUCKY! 856 00:50:52,254 --> 00:50:54,479 DO YOU KNOW THEY HAVE CONJUGAL VISITS THERE? REALLY? 857 00:50:54,514 --> 00:50:56,917 YES. [ Michael ] SHIT. 858 00:50:56,952 --> 00:50:59,789 I'M A FREE MAN, I HAVEN'T HAD A CONJUGAL VISIT IN SIX MONTHS. 859 00:50:59,825 --> 00:51:04,056 - SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK? - THIS THING IS ACTUALLY PRETTY FAIL-SAFE, SAMIR. 860 00:51:04,091 --> 00:51:07,001 SAMIR... 861 00:51:07,036 --> 00:51:10,003 YOU CAME HERE LOOKING FOR A LAND OF OPPORTUNITY, 862 00:51:10,038 --> 00:51:13,137 AND THIS IS THE KNOCK OF THAT OPPORTUNITY. 863 00:51:13,172 --> 00:51:15,539 TOMORROW'S YOUR LAST DAY AT INITECH. 864 00:51:15,574 --> 00:51:19,172 YOU HAVE TWO OPTIONS: UNEMPLOYMENT OR EARLY RETIREMENT. 865 00:51:19,208 --> 00:51:21,175 WHAT'S IT GONNA BE? 866 00:51:21,211 --> 00:51:23,679 I HAVE A QUESTION. YES? 867 00:51:23,714 --> 00:51:27,554 IN-- IN THESE CONJUGAL VISITS, YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN? 868 00:51:27,589 --> 00:51:30,223 YEP. YOU SURE CAN. 869 00:51:32,990 --> 00:51:34,955 OKAY, I'LL DO IT. 870 00:51:34,990 --> 00:51:37,924 - THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WHEN I TALK ABOUT AMER-- - PETER? 871 00:51:37,959 --> 00:51:41,163 - HOW ABOUT WE DISCUSS THE PLAN? - OKAY, YEAH. GOOD. RIGHT. 872 00:51:41,199 --> 00:51:43,132 IT WORKS LIKE A COMPUTER VIRUS. 873 00:51:43,167 --> 00:51:46,099 ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS LOAD IT INTO THE CREDIT UNION MAINFRAME, AND IT'LL DO THE REST. 874 00:51:46,134 --> 00:51:49,206 OKAY. YOU GUYS GET ME THAT DISK, AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT FROM THERE. 875 00:51:49,241 --> 00:51:52,042 BUT LISTEN, BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER, 876 00:51:52,078 --> 00:51:54,475 WE HAVE TO SWEAR TO GOD, ALLAH... 877 00:51:54,510 --> 00:51:56,943 THAT NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THIS BUT US. 878 00:51:56,978 --> 00:52:00,214 ALL RIGHT? NO FAMILY MEMBERS, NO GIRLFRIENDS, NOBODY. 879 00:52:00,249 --> 00:52:02,355 OF COURSE. AGREED. 880 00:52:02,391 --> 00:52:04,756 [ Lawrence ] DON'T WORRY, MAN! I WON'T TELL ANYONE EITHER! 881 00:52:04,791 --> 00:52:07,620 WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO, DON'T WORRY ABOUT HIM. HE'S COOL. ALL RIGHT. 882 00:52:07,655 --> 00:52:09,725 HERE'S HOW I SEE IT ALL GOING DOWN. 883 00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:12,729 PETER, CONGRATULATIONS. THIS IS ONE HECK OF A PROMOTION. 884 00:52:12,764 --> 00:52:16,031 THANK YOU, BOB. WE'LL GET SOME PEOPLE UNDER YOU RIGHT AWAY. 885 00:52:16,067 --> 00:52:18,068 ♪♪ [ Hip-hop ] 886 00:52:18,103 --> 00:52:20,337 ♪♪ [ Rapper Chuckles ] 887 00:52:20,372 --> 00:52:22,540 [ Man ] ♪ IT MAKES ME WANNA CREEP ♪ 888 00:52:22,576 --> 00:52:24,805 ♪ I GOT SOMETHIN' FOR YOUR MIND YOUR BODY AND YOUR SOUL ♪ 889 00:52:29,517 --> 00:52:32,651 ♪ I GOT SOMETHIN' FOR YOUR MIND YOUR BODY AND YOUR SOUL ♪ 890 00:52:32,686 --> 00:52:34,648 ♪ YEAH ♪ 891 00:52:34,684 --> 00:52:37,984 ♪ DAMN, I'M SUCH A "G" IT'S PATHETIC ♪ 892 00:52:38,019 --> 00:52:42,059 ♪ HERE COMES THE BIG-HEADED NIGGA THAT'S DIPPIN' ♪ 893 00:52:42,095 --> 00:52:44,262 ♪ SIPPIN' ON COURVOISIER ♪ 894 00:52:44,297 --> 00:52:47,564 ♪ GODDAMN I MUST HAVE TO FLOSS TODAY ♪ 895 00:52:47,599 --> 00:52:50,699 ♪ NOW, PIMPIN' AIN'T EASY BUT IT'S NECESSARY ♪ 896 00:52:50,734 --> 00:52:54,370 ♪ SO I'M CHASIN' BITCHES LIKE TOM CHASED JERRY ♪ 897 00:52:54,405 --> 00:52:57,010 ♪ I PUT THE PEDAL TO THE "FLO-AH" ♪ 898 00:52:57,045 --> 00:53:00,308 ♪ IN MY TWO-TONED FORD EXPLORER ♪ 899 00:53:00,344 --> 00:53:02,247 ♪ YOU KNOW HOW IT'S DONE ♪ 900 00:53:02,283 --> 00:53:05,313 ♪ SOUNDS BUMPIN' AIN'T THAT SOMETHIN' ♪ 901 00:53:05,348 --> 00:53:07,283 ♪ JUMPED ON THE 110 ♪ 902 00:53:07,319 --> 00:53:09,822 ♪ SHE'S FLYIN' IN THE BLAZER ♪ 903 00:53:09,858 --> 00:53:11,720 - [ Voice Slowed Down ] HEY, HOW'S IT GOIN'? - ♪ LIKE "GO, SPEED RACER" ♪ 904 00:53:11,755 --> 00:53:15,757 ♪ BUT I AIN'T GON' CHASE HER LIKE RACER "X" ♪ 905 00:53:15,793 --> 00:53:20,463 ♪ BUT I WON'T FLEX TILL IT'S TIME TO HAVE SEX ♪ 906 00:53:20,498 --> 00:53:22,629 ♪ SO WHEN YOU WANNA GET TOGETHER ♪ 907 00:53:22,664 --> 00:53:25,234 ♪ 'CAUSE YOU KNOW A NIGGA LIKE ME ♪ 908 00:53:25,269 --> 00:53:27,567 ♪ IS DOWN FOR WHATEVER ♪ 909 00:53:27,603 --> 00:53:29,606 [ Cell Door Slams ] ♪ DAMN ♪ 910 00:53:32,708 --> 00:53:36,140 [ Skipping ] ♪ YE-E-E-E-A-A-A-H ♪ 911 00:53:39,415 --> 00:53:42,189 ♪ YE-E-E-E-A-A-A-H ♪♪ 912 00:53:42,224 --> 00:53:45,257 - WELL, THAT WAS EASY. - YEAH, I GUESS IT WAS. 913 00:53:45,292 --> 00:53:47,888 - WHAT'D YOU DO WITH THE C-- - HEY, MAN. 914 00:53:48,928 --> 00:53:50,564 OH, HEY, DREW. 915 00:53:50,600 --> 00:53:53,393 - YOU GUYS HEAR ABOUT TOM SMYKOWSKI? - WHAT, THAT HE GOT LAID OFF? 916 00:53:53,428 --> 00:53:55,800 NO, MAN. CHECK IT OUT. 917 00:53:55,835 --> 00:53:58,804 [ Drew ] LAST WEEK, RIGHT AFTER HE FOUND OUT HE WAS GETTING LAID OFF, 918 00:53:58,839 --> 00:54:01,672 HE GOES HOME AND TRIES TO KILL HIMSELF BY RUNNING THE CAR IN THE GARAGE. 919 00:54:01,707 --> 00:54:03,707 [ Peter ] IS HE DEAD? [ Drew ] NO, MAN. CHECK IT OUT. 920 00:54:03,742 --> 00:54:06,513 THAT WIFE OF HIS COMES HOME EARLY FROM WORK AND CATCHES HIM. 921 00:54:06,548 --> 00:54:09,515 [ Coughs ] SO HE TRIES TO PLAY IT OFF LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. 922 00:54:09,551 --> 00:54:12,483 I WAS [ Coughs ] HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH THE SHIFTER HERE. 923 00:54:12,519 --> 00:54:16,089 IT'S JAMMED, AND I COULDN'T GET IT INTO DRIVE. 924 00:54:16,124 --> 00:54:19,391 - I-I-I MEAN, REVERSE. - YOU OKAY, TOM? 925 00:54:19,426 --> 00:54:21,760 [ Drew ] THEN, AS HE'S LOOKING AT HER, YEAH. 926 00:54:21,796 --> 00:54:24,760 - HE DECIDES HE WANTS TO LIVE. [ Snickers ] - YEAH, I THINK I'M OKAY. 927 00:54:24,795 --> 00:54:28,500 - RIGHT. - SEEMS TO BE WORKING NOW. [ Chuckling ] 928 00:54:30,036 --> 00:54:31,967 SEE YA LATER, HONEY! 929 00:54:32,002 --> 00:54:34,573 LOVE YA! 930 00:54:34,609 --> 00:54:37,937 [ Drew ] BUT THEN, AS SOON AS HE BACKS OUT OF HIS DRIVEWAY-- 931 00:54:37,973 --> 00:54:41,441 BAM! HE GETS SLAMMED BIG-TIME BY A DRUNK DRIVER! 932 00:54:41,476 --> 00:54:43,582 IS HE OKAY? SORT OF. 933 00:54:43,617 --> 00:54:47,314 HE BROKE BOTH HIS WRISTS, LEGS, COUPLE OF RIBS, HIS BACK. 934 00:54:47,349 --> 00:54:49,881 BUT HE'S GONNA GET A HUGE SETTLEMENT OUT OF THIS, LIKE, SEVEN FIGURES. 935 00:54:49,917 --> 00:54:52,417 HE'S GETTING OUT OF THE HOSPITAL TOMORROW. 936 00:54:52,453 --> 00:54:55,924 HE'S GONNA THROW A PARTY THIS WEEKEND TO CELEBRATE. WE'RE ALL INVITED. 937 00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,860 I'M THINKIN' I MIGHT TAKE THAT NEW CHICK FROM LOGISTICS. 938 00:54:58,896 --> 00:55:01,863 THINGS GO WELL, I MIGHT BE SHOWIN' HER MY "O" FACE. 939 00:55:01,898 --> 00:55:04,904 "OH! OH! OH!" YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT. 940 00:55:04,939 --> 00:55:06,765 "OH!" [ Chuckles ] 941 00:55:06,801 --> 00:55:10,234 YEAH. RIGHT. SEE YOU GUYS THERE. 942 00:55:11,673 --> 00:55:14,843 WOW. OUR LAST DAY AT INITECH. 943 00:55:16,385 --> 00:55:19,284 I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY HAD SECURITY ESCORT US OUT. 944 00:55:19,319 --> 00:55:21,784 LIKE WE'RE GOING TO STEAL SOMETHING. 945 00:55:22,985 --> 00:55:25,926 - I STOLE SOMETHING. - OH, YEAH. GUESS WE ALL DID. 946 00:55:25,961 --> 00:55:28,894 NO, I STOLE SOMETHING ELSE. 947 00:55:28,930 --> 00:55:31,398 WHAT DID YOU STEAL? 948 00:55:33,100 --> 00:55:36,297 CALL IT A GOING-AWAY PRESENT. 949 00:55:36,333 --> 00:55:39,472 ♪♪ [ Hip-hop ] 950 00:55:46,444 --> 00:55:48,514 [ Male Rapper ] ♪ KILL ♪ 951 00:55:51,951 --> 00:55:54,546 ♪ KILL ♪ ♪ BACK UP IN YO' ASS WITH THE RESURRECTION ♪ 952 00:55:54,582 --> 00:55:57,686 ♪ IS THE GROUP HARDER THAN AN ERECTION THAT SHOWS MORE AFFECTION ♪ 953 00:55:57,721 --> 00:56:00,355 ♪ THEY WANNA BAN US ON CAPITOL HILL ♪ 954 00:56:00,391 --> 00:56:02,056 ♪ 'CAUSE IT'S DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS, STILL ♪ ♪ STILL ♪ 955 00:56:02,091 --> 00:56:04,925 ♪ ALL ALONG IT WAS THE GHETTO NOTHIN' BUT THE GHETTO ♪ 956 00:56:04,961 --> 00:56:06,993 ♪ TAKIN' SHORT STEPS ONE FOOT AT A TIME ♪ 957 00:56:07,029 --> 00:56:09,634 ♪ AND KEPT MY HEAD LOW AND NEVER LET GO ♪ 958 00:56:09,669 --> 00:56:11,531 ♪ 'CAUSE IF I LET GO THEN I'D BE SPINELESS ♪ 959 00:56:11,566 --> 00:56:14,871 ♪ I'M GOIN' INSANE ♪ ♪ I THINK MY MIND JUST GOES OUT OF CONTROL ♪ 960 00:56:14,906 --> 00:56:16,872 ♪ YOU JUDGE ON SUBJECTS MOTHERFUCKERS READ ABOUT ♪ 961 00:56:16,908 --> 00:56:19,678 ♪ I TOUCH ON THE SHIT THAT THEY BE LEAVIN' OUT ♪ 962 00:56:19,713 --> 00:56:22,447 ♪ I SEEN THIS MOTHERFUCKER'S 9 SMOKIN', I SEEN IT ♪ 963 00:56:22,482 --> 00:56:24,317 ♪ I BET YOU MOTHERFUCKERS WILL TOO ♪ 964 00:56:24,352 --> 00:56:25,780 ♪ BECAUSE IT'S DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS ♪ 965 00:56:25,815 --> 00:56:29,385 ♪ DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS STILL, FOOL ♪ 966 00:56:29,420 --> 00:56:31,257 ♪ DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS ♪ 967 00:56:31,292 --> 00:56:33,625 ♪ DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS STILL ♪ 968 00:56:35,558 --> 00:56:36,826 ♪ DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS ♪ 969 00:56:36,861 --> 00:56:39,092 ♪ DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS STILL ♪ ♪ KILL ♪ 970 00:56:40,866 --> 00:56:44,132 ♪ DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS DIE, MOTHERFUCKERS, STILL ♪ 971 00:56:44,167 --> 00:56:48,274 ♪ I-I-- I-I-- I THINK IT'S SOMETHIN' IN THE WATER, MAN ♪ 972 00:56:48,309 --> 00:56:49,370 ♪ I-IT'S GOTTA BE IN THE WATER ♪ 973 00:56:49,405 --> 00:56:50,607 ♪ OH, FUCK ♪ 974 00:56:50,642 --> 00:56:52,606 ♪ CHUCK'S ON A KILLIN' SPREE AGAIN ♪ 975 00:56:52,641 --> 00:56:53,942 ♪ WE GUILLOTINE FOR MEN ♪ 976 00:56:53,977 --> 00:56:56,881 ♪ I WALK AROUND TOWN WITH A FROWN ON MY FACE ♪ 977 00:56:56,916 --> 00:56:59,118 ♪ FUCK THE WHOLE WORLD FIXIN' TO CATCH A MURDER CASE ♪ 978 00:56:59,153 --> 00:57:00,612 ♪ GONNA MURDER AND RAPE ♪ 979 00:57:00,647 --> 00:57:03,086 ♪ MAY GET GREASY IF YOU CAUGHT UP IN THE WORLD WHILE IT'S DYIN' ♪ 980 00:57:03,121 --> 00:57:06,023 [ Continues On Stereo ] ♪ I GUARANTEE YOU FRYIN' YOU DYIN' ♪ 981 00:57:06,058 --> 00:57:09,058 ♪ ON THE VERGE OF KNOCKIN' MOTHERFUCKERS DOWN FOR NO REASON ♪ 982 00:57:09,093 --> 00:57:12,429 ♪ ONCE I GET DOWN THERE'LL BE NO BREATHIN' ♪♪ [ Fades ] 983 00:57:12,464 --> 00:57:14,360 [ Michael ] WHO'S GOT MY KEYS? 984 00:57:14,395 --> 00:57:17,933 I'M DRIVING. NOT YOU. EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE OKAY. ALL RIGHT? 985 00:57:17,969 --> 00:57:20,867 PETER-- PETER-- OKAY? IT'S FUN, AND IT'S EXCITING. 986 00:57:20,903 --> 00:57:23,509 BE SERIOUS. I GOTTA GO. ALL RIGHT? 987 00:57:23,544 --> 00:57:26,046 JOANNA'S COMING OVER. ALL RIGHT? DON'T WORRY. 988 00:57:26,081 --> 00:57:28,014 YOU'RE WORRYING. ALL RIGHT? 989 00:57:28,049 --> 00:57:31,211 MONDAY MORNING WE'RE GONNA CHECK THE ACCOUNT BALANCE. EVERYTHING'LL BE OKAY. 990 00:57:31,247 --> 00:57:34,248 DON'T MISS TOM'S BARBECUE. I'LL SEE YOU THERE. ALL RIGHT? 991 00:57:34,284 --> 00:57:37,920 GOOD NIGHT. ♪ BACK UP IN YOUR ASS WITH THE RESURRECTION ♪ 992 00:57:40,496 --> 00:57:43,464 HEY, WHAT WERE YOU GUYS CELEBRATING LAST NIGHT? 993 00:57:43,499 --> 00:57:47,930 UH... I'M NOT REALLY AT LIBERTY TO TALK ABOUT IT. 994 00:57:50,037 --> 00:57:52,000 I REALLY CAN'T. 995 00:57:55,106 --> 00:57:58,074 ALL RIGHT, SO WHEN THE SUBROUTINE COMPOUNDS THE INTEREST, 996 00:57:58,110 --> 00:58:01,709 IT USES ALL THESE EXTRA DECIMAL PLACES THAT JUST GET ROUNDED OFF. 997 00:58:01,745 --> 00:58:03,816 SO WE SIMPLIFIED THE WHOLE THING... 998 00:58:03,851 --> 00:58:07,451 AND WE JUST-- WE ROUND 'EM ALL DOWN AND DROP THE REMAINDER... 999 00:58:07,487 --> 00:58:09,648 INTO AN ACCOUNT THAT WE OPENED. 1000 00:58:09,684 --> 00:58:11,822 SO, YOU'RE STEALING. 1001 00:58:13,151 --> 00:58:14,920 UH, NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 1002 00:58:14,956 --> 00:58:17,623 IT'S, UH-- IT'S VERY COMPLICATED. 1003 00:58:17,659 --> 00:58:21,731 IT'S, UH-- IT'S AGGREGATE, SO I'M TALKING ABOUT FRACTIONS OF A PENNY HERE. 1004 00:58:21,766 --> 00:58:25,133 AND, UH, OVER TIME THEY ADD UP TO A LOT. 1005 00:58:25,168 --> 00:58:28,934 OH, OKAY. SO, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A LOT OF MONEY, RIGHT? 1006 00:58:28,970 --> 00:58:31,337 YEAH. RIGHT? THAT'S NOT YOURS? 1007 00:58:31,372 --> 00:58:35,615 - UH, WELL, IT BECOMES OURS. - HOW IS THAT NOT STEALING? 1008 00:58:38,448 --> 00:58:41,750 I DON'T THINK, UH-- I DON'T THINK THAT I'M EXPLAINING THIS VERY WELL. 1009 00:58:41,785 --> 00:58:44,455 UM, THE 7-ELEVEN, RIGHT? MM-HMM. 1010 00:58:44,491 --> 00:58:47,093 YOU'D TAKE A PENNY FROM THE TRAY. 1011 00:58:47,128 --> 00:58:50,496 FROM THE CRIPPLED CHILDREN? NO, THAT'S THE JAR. I'M TALKING ABOUT THE TRAY. 1012 00:58:50,531 --> 00:58:52,825 THE-- YOU KNOW, THE PENNIES FOR EVERYBODY. 1013 00:58:52,860 --> 00:58:54,930 OH. FOR EVERYBOD-- OKAY. 1014 00:58:54,966 --> 00:58:57,537 YEAH, WELL, THOSE ARE WHOLE PENNIES. ALL RIGHT? 1015 00:58:57,573 --> 00:59:00,334 I'M JUST TALKING ABOUT FRACTIONS OF A PENNY HERE. 1016 00:59:00,370 --> 00:59:04,309 BUT WE DO IT FROM A MUCH BIGGER TRAY A COUPLE OF MILLION TIMES. 1017 00:59:04,344 --> 00:59:06,206 SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? 1018 00:59:06,242 --> 00:59:09,142 I DON'T KNOW. IT JUST SEEMS WRONG. IT'S NOT WRONG. 1019 00:59:09,178 --> 00:59:12,712 INITECH IS WRONG. INITECH IS AN EVIL CORPORATION. 1020 00:59:12,747 --> 00:59:15,420 CHOTCHKIE'S IS WRONG. 1021 00:59:15,456 --> 00:59:19,289 DOESN'T IT BOTHER YOU THAT YOU HAVE TO GET UP IN THE MORNING AND PUT ON PIECES OF FLAIR? 1022 00:59:19,325 --> 00:59:23,492 YEAH, BUT I'M NOT ABOUT TO GO IN AND START TAKING MONEY FROM THE REGISTER. 1023 00:59:23,527 --> 00:59:26,461 WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD. 1024 00:59:26,496 --> 00:59:29,902 YOU KNOW, THE NAZIS HAD PIECES OF FLAIR THAT THEY MADE THE JEWS WEAR. 1025 00:59:29,937 --> 00:59:32,534 WHAT? 1026 00:59:32,569 --> 00:59:34,638 LOOK, WE DON'T-- I-I-- 1027 00:59:34,673 --> 00:59:37,168 WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS NOW. 1028 00:59:37,204 --> 00:59:39,844 LET'S JUST GO TO THE BARBECUE. OKAY. 1029 00:59:42,350 --> 00:59:44,348 MICHAEL! SAMIR! HOW YOU DOIN'? 1030 00:59:44,383 --> 00:59:46,816 HEY, TOM. HELLO, TOM. 1031 00:59:46,851 --> 00:59:49,950 I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY LAWYER, ROB NEWHOUSE. 1032 00:59:49,986 --> 00:59:52,856 ROB, MICHAEL, SAMIR. HOW YOU DOING? 1033 00:59:52,892 --> 00:59:56,255 PETER! HOW ARE YOU? I'M GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT. 1034 00:59:56,290 --> 01:00:00,029 TOM, HI. THIS IS SOMEBODY I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET. 1035 01:00:00,065 --> 01:00:04,666 - THIS IS JOANNA. - HI. FORGIVE ME FOR NOT GETTING UP. 1036 01:00:04,702 --> 01:00:07,971 - [ Laughing ] - [ Laughing ] 1037 01:00:09,637 --> 01:00:11,604 [ Groaning ] 1038 01:00:11,639 --> 01:00:17,076 UH-- UH, PETER, COME HERE A MINUTE. I WANNA SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 1039 01:00:17,112 --> 01:00:20,115 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? IT'S A PROTOTYPE. 1040 01:00:20,150 --> 01:00:24,221 [ Peter ] HUH! THAT'S EXACTLY AS YOU DESCRIBED IT. 1041 01:00:24,256 --> 01:00:26,152 [ Chuckles ] 1042 01:00:26,187 --> 01:00:28,824 UH, LISTEN, I HEARD ABOUT YOUR SETTLEMENT. 1043 01:00:28,859 --> 01:00:31,358 CONGRATULATIONS. WELL, THANKS, PETER. 1044 01:00:31,394 --> 01:00:35,394 YOU KNOW, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE BECAUSE I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU. 1045 01:00:35,429 --> 01:00:38,963 I KNOW HOW YOU GET DEPRESSED ABOUT YOUR JOB AND ALL. 1046 01:00:38,998 --> 01:00:43,274 I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I USED TO BE THE SAME WAY. 1047 01:00:43,309 --> 01:00:45,210 REALLY? SURE! 1048 01:00:45,246 --> 01:00:49,483 MAYBE I DIDN'T WHINE AS MUCH, BUT I BET I HATED MY JOB EVEN MORE THAN YOU. 1049 01:00:49,518 --> 01:00:52,317 AND I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR OVER 30 YEARS. 1050 01:00:52,352 --> 01:00:55,355 - WOW. - JUST REMEMBER. 1051 01:00:55,391 --> 01:00:57,589 IF YOU HANG IN THERE LONG ENOUGH, 1052 01:00:57,624 --> 01:01:00,592 GOOD THINGS CAN HAPPEN IN THIS WORLD. 1053 01:01:00,627 --> 01:01:03,260 I MEAN, LOOK AT ME. [ Chuckling ] 1054 01:01:03,295 --> 01:01:05,129 THANKS, TOM. 1055 01:01:05,164 --> 01:01:08,133 OH, SURE. 1056 01:01:08,169 --> 01:01:11,100 [ Chattering ] 1057 01:01:13,541 --> 01:01:16,542 CONJUGAL VISITS? NOT THAT I KNOW OF. 1058 01:01:16,578 --> 01:01:19,512 A MINIMUM-SECURITY PRISON IS NO PICNIC. 1059 01:01:19,547 --> 01:01:21,848 I HAVE A CLIENT IN THERE RIGHT NOW. 1060 01:01:21,883 --> 01:01:24,745 HE SAYS, THE TRICK IS, KICK SOMEONE'S ASS THE FIRST DAY, 1061 01:01:24,781 --> 01:01:26,815 OR BECOME SOMEONE'S BITCH. 1062 01:01:26,851 --> 01:01:29,454 THEN EVERYTHING'LL BE ALL RIGHT. 1063 01:01:29,489 --> 01:01:31,117 WHY DO YOU ASK, ANYWAY? 1064 01:01:31,152 --> 01:01:33,687 OH, NO, WE WERE JUST-- SORRY. SORRY. 1065 01:01:33,723 --> 01:01:35,960 [ Nervous Chuckle ] 1066 01:01:40,763 --> 01:01:43,096 HEY, PETER. DREW. 1067 01:01:43,132 --> 01:01:45,337 THAT'S SOMETHIN' ABOUT OL' SMYKOWSKI, HUH? 1068 01:01:45,372 --> 01:01:48,335 YEAH. LUCKY BASTARD. 1069 01:01:48,371 --> 01:01:51,571 HEY, ISN'T THAT THE GIRL THAT WORKS OVER AT CHOTCHKIE'S? 1070 01:01:51,606 --> 01:01:53,608 YEAH. 1071 01:01:53,644 --> 01:01:55,609 WHO'S SHE HERE WITH? 1072 01:01:55,645 --> 01:01:58,217 SHE'S WITH ME. 1073 01:01:58,252 --> 01:02:00,012 REALLY? YEAH. 1074 01:02:00,047 --> 01:02:02,717 ALL RIGHT, PETER. OOH! OOH! 1075 01:02:02,753 --> 01:02:04,755 RIGHT ON. [ Chuckling ] 1076 01:02:04,790 --> 01:02:07,255 MAKE SURE YOU WEAR A RUBBER, DUDE. 1077 01:02:09,197 --> 01:02:11,058 WHY IS THAT, DREW? 1078 01:02:11,093 --> 01:02:13,596 ARE YOU KIDDING ME? SHE GETS AROUND. 1079 01:02:13,632 --> 01:02:15,736 [ Chuckles ] ALL RIGHT? 1080 01:02:16,667 --> 01:02:18,702 SHE DOES, DOES SHE? 1081 01:02:18,738 --> 01:02:21,269 OH, YEAH, LIKE A RECORD. [ Laughs ] 1082 01:02:22,507 --> 01:02:24,510 LIKE, WITH WHO? 1083 01:02:24,545 --> 01:02:27,537 OH, LET'S SEE, UH-- [ Scoffs ] 1084 01:02:27,572 --> 01:02:30,480 HELL, LUMBERGH FUCKED HER. [ Snickering ] 1085 01:02:30,516 --> 01:02:32,449 LET ME SEE WHO ELSE. 1086 01:02:32,484 --> 01:02:34,683 UH, DICK RENNIE... 1087 01:02:34,718 --> 01:02:37,151 LUMBERGH? ERIC LOUIS-- 1088 01:02:37,186 --> 01:02:40,155 SO, WHAT IF-- OH. WHAT IF YOU GET CAUGHT? 1089 01:02:40,190 --> 01:02:43,296 I JUST DON'T KNOW IF THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA. 1090 01:02:43,331 --> 01:02:47,033 YEAH, WELL, MAYBE IT WASN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA FOR YOU TO SLEEP WITH LUMBERGH. 1091 01:02:47,068 --> 01:02:49,058 WHAT? 1092 01:02:49,094 --> 01:02:50,764 WHAT ARE YOU-- 1093 01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:52,895 OH, RIGHT. LUMBERGH. 1094 01:02:52,931 --> 01:02:54,406 AAH! 1095 01:02:54,441 --> 01:02:57,609 OH... GOD. LUMBERGH. 1096 01:02:57,644 --> 01:02:59,406 PETER, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 1097 01:02:59,442 --> 01:03:02,847 THAT WAS, LIKE, TWO YEARS AGO. WHAT, DID YOU KNOW HIM? 1098 01:03:02,882 --> 01:03:05,377 YEAH, I KNOW HIM. I KNOW HIM. HE'S MY BOSS. 1099 01:03:05,412 --> 01:03:08,949 HE'S MY UNHOLY, DISGUSTING PIG OF A BOSS! 1100 01:03:08,984 --> 01:03:11,284 OH, HE'S NOT THAT DISGUSTING. 1101 01:03:11,320 --> 01:03:15,792 HE REPRESENTS ALL THAT IS SOULLESS AND WRONG! 1102 01:03:15,827 --> 01:03:18,092 - AND YOU SLEPT WITH HIM. - HEY! 1103 01:03:18,127 --> 01:03:20,164 THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. OKAY? 1104 01:03:20,199 --> 01:03:23,202 I DIDN'T ASK YOU WHO YOU SLEPT WITH BEFORE WE WERE TOGETHER. 1105 01:03:23,238 --> 01:03:26,436 I DON'T CARE. WELL, I DIDN'T THINK YOU SLEPT WITH GUYS LIKE LUMBERGH! 1106 01:03:26,472 --> 01:03:28,940 LISTEN TO YOU. 1107 01:03:28,975 --> 01:03:32,778 WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME. 1108 01:03:32,814 --> 01:03:35,747 I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU? SOME KIND OF ANGEL HERE? 1109 01:03:35,782 --> 01:03:38,516 NO, YOU'RE JUST THIS PENNY-STEALING, 1110 01:03:38,552 --> 01:03:41,288 WANNABE CRIMINAL... M-MAN. 1111 01:03:41,323 --> 01:03:43,151 YEAH, WELL, THAT MAY BE, 1112 01:03:43,186 --> 01:03:45,452 BUT AT LEAST I NEVER SLEPT WITH LUMBERGH. 1113 01:03:45,487 --> 01:03:48,525 OKAY, THAT'S-- I'M DONE. I WANNA GET OUT OF THE CAR. 1114 01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:50,595 FINE. STOP! 1115 01:03:50,631 --> 01:03:53,197 JUST CALL ME WHEN YOU GROW UP. 1116 01:03:53,233 --> 01:03:55,667 YOU KNOW, THAT'S NEVER GONNA HAPPEN. SO JUST DON'T CALL ME. 1117 01:03:55,702 --> 01:03:58,168 SAY HELLO TO LUMBERGH FOR ME! 1118 01:04:04,611 --> 01:04:06,576 HELL, LUMBERGH FUCKED HER. 1119 01:04:06,612 --> 01:04:08,579 LUMBERGH FUCKED HER. 1120 01:04:08,614 --> 01:04:10,546 LUMBERGH... FUCKED HER. 1121 01:04:10,582 --> 01:04:12,478 THAT'S GREAT. 1122 01:04:12,513 --> 01:04:15,551 I MEAN, SHE WAS SEEIN' THE "O" FACE, FOR SURE! 1123 01:04:15,586 --> 01:04:18,050 OH! OH! OH! 1124 01:04:18,085 --> 01:04:21,250 SEXY. OOH. OOH! OOH! 1125 01:04:21,286 --> 01:04:24,661 IF YOU COULD GO AHEAD AND JUST MOVE A LITTLE BIT TO THE LEF-- THAT'S IT. 1126 01:04:24,696 --> 01:04:26,663 GREAT. [ Inhales ] 1127 01:04:26,698 --> 01:04:28,595 PETER! WHAT'S HAPPENING? 1128 01:04:28,630 --> 01:04:33,436 UM, COULD YOU GET ME THOSE T.P.S. REPORTS ASAP? MM-KAY? 1129 01:04:33,471 --> 01:04:35,704 [ Gasps ] 1130 01:04:35,739 --> 01:04:38,274 [ Sighs, Panting ] 1131 01:04:48,521 --> 01:04:50,487 JOANNA. YEAH? 1132 01:04:50,523 --> 01:04:52,548 WE NEED TO TALK. 1133 01:04:52,584 --> 01:04:55,060 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? 1134 01:04:58,060 --> 01:05:00,397 [ Sighs ] MY, UH... FLAIR? 1135 01:05:00,432 --> 01:05:02,491 YEAH. 1136 01:05:02,527 --> 01:05:04,365 OR, UH, YOUR LACK OF FLAIR. 1137 01:05:04,401 --> 01:05:08,334 BECAUSE, UH, I'M COUNTING AND I ONLY SEE 15 PIECES. 1138 01:05:08,369 --> 01:05:10,335 LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION, JOANNA. 1139 01:05:10,370 --> 01:05:13,272 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A PERSON... 1140 01:05:13,307 --> 01:05:15,377 WHO ONLY DOES THE BARE MINIMUM? 1141 01:05:17,082 --> 01:05:20,086 HUH. WHAT DO I THI-- UH, YOU KNOW WHAT, STAN? 1142 01:05:20,121 --> 01:05:23,756 [ Sighs ] IF YOU WANT ME TO WEAR 37 PIECES OF FLAIR... 1143 01:05:23,792 --> 01:05:26,488 LIKE YOUR PRETTY BOY OVER THERE, BRIAN, 1144 01:05:26,523 --> 01:05:30,089 WHY DON'T YOU JUST MAKE THE MINIMUM 37 PIECES OF FLAIR? 1145 01:05:30,124 --> 01:05:35,063 WELL, I THOUGHT I REMEMBERED YOU SAYING THAT YOU WANTED TO EXPRESS YOURSELF. 1146 01:05:35,099 --> 01:05:37,635 YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT? YEAH, I DO. 1147 01:05:37,670 --> 01:05:43,275 I DO WANNA EXPRESS MYSELF. OKAY? AND I DON'T NEED 37 PIECES OF FLAIR TO DO IT. 1148 01:05:43,311 --> 01:05:45,104 ALL RIGHT? 1149 01:05:45,140 --> 01:05:47,141 THERE'S MY FLAIR. OKAY? 1150 01:05:47,177 --> 01:05:49,248 AND THIS IS ME EXPRESSING MYSELF. 1151 01:05:49,283 --> 01:05:51,251 OKAY? 1152 01:05:51,286 --> 01:05:52,877 THERE IT IS. 1153 01:05:52,913 --> 01:05:57,221 I HATE THIS JOB. I HATE THIS GODDAMN JOB, AND I DON'T NEED IT! 1154 01:06:04,398 --> 01:06:06,560 [ Beeping ] 1155 01:06:12,702 --> 01:06:14,100 OH, SHIT. 1156 01:06:14,135 --> 01:06:16,168 SHIT! SHIT! OH, SHIT. 1157 01:06:16,204 --> 01:06:19,439 SON OF A BITCH! SHIT! 1158 01:06:19,475 --> 01:06:22,042 THIS IS A-- FUCK! I-- I-- SON OF A BITCH! 1159 01:06:22,077 --> 01:06:24,009 SHIT! WHAT HAPPENED? 1160 01:06:24,044 --> 01:06:27,880 YOU TELL ME, MICHAEL! IT'S YOUR SOFTWARE! YES! IT'S YOUR SOFTWARE! 1161 01:06:27,915 --> 01:06:32,788 CORPORATE ACCOUNTING IS SURE AS HELL GONNA NOTICE $305,3-- 1162 01:06:32,823 --> 01:06:35,987 26.13, MICHAEL! 1163 01:06:36,022 --> 01:06:38,023 OH, SHIT! 1164 01:06:38,058 --> 01:06:41,397 THEY PROBABLY WON'T KNOW IT'S GONE FOR ANOTHER THREE OR FOUR DAYS. 1165 01:06:41,432 --> 01:06:44,962 MICHAEL, YOU SAID THE THING WAS GONNA TAKE TWO YEARS! 1166 01:06:44,997 --> 01:06:47,533 WHAT HAPPENED? YOU SAID THE THING WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK! 1167 01:06:47,568 --> 01:06:50,238 - TECHNICALLY, IT DID WORK. - NO, IT DIDN'T! 1168 01:06:50,273 --> 01:06:52,205 IT DID NOT WORK, MICHAEL! OKAY? 1169 01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:54,774 OKAY, OKAY! OKAY. OKAY. 1170 01:06:54,810 --> 01:06:57,811 I MUST'VE PUT A DECIMAL POINT IN THE WRONG PLACE OR SOMETHING. 1171 01:06:57,846 --> 01:07:00,646 SHIT, I ALWAYS DO THAT. I ALWAYS MESS UP SOME MUNDANE DETAIL. 1172 01:07:00,682 --> 01:07:04,889 OH! WELL, THIS IS NOT A MUNDANE DETAIL, MICHAEL! 1173 01:07:04,924 --> 01:07:06,891 HEY, QUIT GETTING PISSED AT ME. 1174 01:07:06,926 --> 01:07:09,757 THIS WAS ALL YOUR IDEA, ASSHOLE. 1175 01:07:09,792 --> 01:07:14,331 ALL RIGHT. OKAY. LET'S TRY NOT TO GET PISSED OFF AT EACH OTHER. 1176 01:07:14,366 --> 01:07:16,800 LET'S JUST TRY TO FIGURE THIS THING OUT TOGETHER. 1177 01:07:16,835 --> 01:07:20,569 THE FIRST THING WE GOTTA DO IS CLOSE THAT ACCOUNT BEFORE IT GETS ANY BIGGER. 1178 01:07:20,605 --> 01:07:25,370 [ Singing Unenthusiastically ] ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪ 1179 01:07:25,405 --> 01:07:29,945 ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪ 1180 01:07:29,980 --> 01:07:32,617 ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪ 1181 01:07:32,653 --> 01:07:35,821 ♪ MR. LUMBERGH ♪ 1182 01:07:35,857 --> 01:07:39,653 ♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪♪ 1183 01:07:42,293 --> 01:07:45,462 [ Lumbergh ] DOESN'T THAT LOOK TERRIFIC. 1184 01:07:45,498 --> 01:07:47,428 MMM! 1185 01:07:47,464 --> 01:07:50,136 HERE, PEG. YOU WANNA GET EVERYBODY STARTED THERE? 1186 01:07:52,839 --> 01:07:55,338 MMM! OH, THAT IS TERRIFIC. 1187 01:07:55,373 --> 01:07:57,705 JUST TERRIFIC. THANKS, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU. 1188 01:07:57,741 --> 01:08:00,944 REALLY. I REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT. IT'S VERY SPECIAL. 1189 01:08:00,979 --> 01:08:04,448 NOW, MILTON! DON'T BE GREEDY! 1190 01:08:04,484 --> 01:08:07,618 LET'S PASS IT ALONG AND MAKE SURE EVERYONE GETS A PIECE. 1191 01:08:07,654 --> 01:08:10,755 'KAY, BUT LAST TIME I DIDN'T RECEIVE A PIECE, AND I WAS TOLD THAT-- 1192 01:08:10,790 --> 01:08:14,289 - JUST PASS. - OKAY. 1193 01:08:14,324 --> 01:08:17,630 BUT THIS-- THIS-- IF-- THERE-- THERE-- 1194 01:08:17,665 --> 01:08:19,899 I JUST-- SEE, THE CAKE-- 1195 01:08:19,934 --> 01:08:22,597 THERE'S LOTS OF CAKE, BUT THERE'S-- 1196 01:08:23,563 --> 01:08:26,704 THE RATIO OF PEOPLE TO CAKE IS-- 1197 01:08:26,740 --> 01:08:29,402 [ Milton Muttering ] 1198 01:08:29,437 --> 01:08:32,343 ALL I WANT IS A PIECE OF CAKE-- 1199 01:08:39,085 --> 01:08:41,682 I THINK THERE'S-- THERE'S A PIECE OF-- 1200 01:08:43,685 --> 01:08:46,719 [ Muttering ] I COULD SET THE BUILDING ON FIRE. 1201 01:08:46,755 --> 01:08:50,222 I-IS THERE SOME WAY TO JUST GIVE THE MONEY BACK? 1202 01:08:50,258 --> 01:08:54,262 WHAT, DO YOU MEAN JUST HAND THEM A CHECK FOR THE EXACT AMOUNT THEY'RE MISSING? 1203 01:08:54,298 --> 01:08:56,494 I THINK THEY'D FIGURE THAT OUT. 1204 01:08:56,530 --> 01:08:59,201 WELL, WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. 1205 01:08:59,237 --> 01:09:02,300 MAYBE WE COULD LAUNDER THE MONEY. 1206 01:09:02,336 --> 01:09:04,507 THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. 1207 01:09:04,542 --> 01:09:07,511 - OKAY, HOW DO WE DO THAT? - I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW. 1208 01:09:07,546 --> 01:09:10,549 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. I WAS HOPING YOU KNEW. 1209 01:09:10,585 --> 01:09:14,181 I THINK COKE DEALERS DO IT. ALL RIGHT, DO WE KNOW ANY COKE DEALERS? 1210 01:09:14,216 --> 01:09:16,453 M-MY COUSIN'S A COKEHEAD. 1211 01:09:21,895 --> 01:09:24,292 FUCK. WE'RE IN DEEP SHIT. 1212 01:09:24,327 --> 01:09:28,168 YES, WE ARE IN VERY DEEP SHIT. 1213 01:09:29,801 --> 01:09:31,833 [ Grunts ] 1214 01:09:31,868 --> 01:09:34,234 MILTON. 1215 01:09:34,269 --> 01:09:36,442 YES? WHAT'S HAPPENING? 1216 01:09:36,477 --> 01:09:38,972 I WANTED TO SEE YOU-- SAY, MILTON, YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE GREAT? 1217 01:09:39,007 --> 01:09:41,043 WH-- NO. 1218 01:09:41,078 --> 01:09:45,143 SINCE YOU'RE DOWN HERE, IT WOULD BE REALLY GREAT IF YOU COULD JUST SORT OF... 1219 01:09:45,178 --> 01:09:48,148 TAKE CARE OF THE COCKROACH PROBLEM WE'VE BEEN HAVING IN HERE. 1220 01:09:48,183 --> 01:09:51,224 NO, THAT'S REALLY NOT MY JOB, AND I-- I HAVEN'T RECEIVED MY PAYCHECK-- 1221 01:09:51,259 --> 01:09:54,620 SO, FOR NOW WHY DON'T YOU GET YOURSELF A FLASHLIGHT... 1222 01:09:54,655 --> 01:09:57,623 AND A CAN OF PESTICIDE AND CRAWL BACK-- 1223 01:09:57,658 --> 01:10:00,129 BILL? WE NEED YOU UPSTAIRS RIGHT AWAY. 1224 01:10:00,164 --> 01:10:02,165 WE GOT A BIG PROBLEM. BIG. 1225 01:10:02,200 --> 01:10:04,133 SOME MAJOR GLITCH IN ACCOUNTING. 1226 01:10:04,169 --> 01:10:06,301 A LOT OF MONEY MISSING. HMM. 1227 01:10:06,336 --> 01:10:08,505 WE'VE GOT AN INVESTIGATOR HERE. 1228 01:10:10,574 --> 01:10:13,439 EXCUSE ME? [ Footsteps Ascending Stairs ] 1229 01:10:13,474 --> 01:10:15,842 EXCUSE ME! [ Door Slams ] 1230 01:10:17,184 --> 01:10:21,084 WELL... OKAY, BUT... THAT'S THE LAST STRAW. 1231 01:10:21,119 --> 01:10:23,787 HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO. 1232 01:10:23,823 --> 01:10:25,825 UH, "LAUNDER." 1233 01:10:25,860 --> 01:10:27,887 "TO CLEAN--" NO. "WASH." 1234 01:10:27,922 --> 01:10:30,591 HERE IT IS: "TO CONCEAL THE SOURCE OF MONEY... 1235 01:10:30,627 --> 01:10:35,297 AS BY CHANNELING IT THROUGH AN INTERMEDIARY." 1236 01:10:35,333 --> 01:10:37,333 "TO CONCEAL A SOURCE OF MONEY--" 1237 01:10:37,368 --> 01:10:39,302 THAT DOESN'T REALLY HELP US, MICHAEL. 1238 01:10:39,337 --> 01:10:41,305 I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT NERDS WE ARE, 1239 01:10:41,340 --> 01:10:43,202 LOOKING UP MONEY LAUNDERING IN A DICTIONARY. 1240 01:10:43,238 --> 01:10:45,273 YEAH, WELL... 1241 01:10:45,309 --> 01:10:47,878 YOU GUYS CAN BOTH EAT MY ASS. 1242 01:10:47,914 --> 01:10:50,910 I CAN'T BELIEVE JOANNA SLEPT WITH LUMBERGH. THAT'S WHAT I CAN'T BELIEVE. 1243 01:10:50,946 --> 01:10:53,946 - YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT? - YEAH. YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT? 1244 01:10:53,981 --> 01:10:57,257 A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, BEFORE HE MOVED TO ATLANTA. 1245 01:10:58,855 --> 01:11:02,427 YOU MEAN RON LUMBERGH, THE INITRODE GUY? THE YOUNG GUY? 1246 01:11:02,462 --> 01:11:05,029 YEAH. WHO'D YOU THINK I MEANT? BILL? [ Snickers ] 1247 01:11:05,065 --> 01:11:06,858 - [ Snickering ] - [ Laughing ] 1248 01:11:06,893 --> 01:11:09,901 FUCKIN'-- THEIR CHILDREN WOULD HAVE HOOVES. 1249 01:11:09,936 --> 01:11:11,798 [ Laughing Continues ] 1250 01:11:11,834 --> 01:11:14,838 RON'S NOT RELATED TO BILL, IS HE? [ Knocking ] 1251 01:11:14,873 --> 01:11:17,507 WHO'S THAT? 1252 01:11:17,542 --> 01:11:20,808 ALL RIGHT, NOBODY PANIC. PROBABLY JUST LAWRENCE. 1253 01:11:24,411 --> 01:11:27,786 [ Haltingly ] GOOD EVENING. MY NAME IS STEVE. I COME FROM A ROUGH AREA. 1254 01:11:27,822 --> 01:11:30,456 I USED TO BE ADDICTED TO CRACK, BUT NOW I'M OFF AND TRYING TO STAY CLEAN. 1255 01:11:30,491 --> 01:11:33,925 OKAY. THAT IS WHY I AM SELLING MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS. 1256 01:11:33,961 --> 01:11:35,951 NO. W-W-WAIT A MINUTE. 1257 01:11:35,987 --> 01:11:37,893 YOU USED TO BE ADDICTED TO CRACK? 1258 01:11:37,928 --> 01:11:39,697 YEAH, B-- 1259 01:11:39,732 --> 01:11:42,296 UM, W-- 1260 01:11:42,331 --> 01:11:44,403 LOOK, I'M VERY SORRY. 1261 01:11:44,438 --> 01:11:47,405 I DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANY MONEY LAUNDERING. 1262 01:11:47,440 --> 01:11:50,269 NO, WE'RE NOT ASKING YOU ABOUT MONEY LAUNDERING. 1263 01:11:50,304 --> 01:11:53,343 WE NEED YOU TO HOOK US UP WITH-- MICHAEL, HE DOESN'T KNOW ANYBODY. 1264 01:11:53,378 --> 01:11:56,011 NO, WAIT-- WAIT A MINUTE. LOOK. 1265 01:11:56,046 --> 01:11:59,111 YOU JUST GIVE US THE NAME OF ONE DRUG DEALER. I COULD TALK TO HIM. 1266 01:11:59,146 --> 01:12:02,382 I HAVE GOOD NETWORKING SKILL-- [ Normal Voice ] I LIED. 1267 01:12:02,417 --> 01:12:06,181 ALL THAT STUFF I SAID ABOUT BEING A CRACKHEAD JUST HELPS ME SELL MAGAZINES. 1268 01:12:06,217 --> 01:12:09,692 I'M ACTUALLY AN UNEMPLOYED SOFTWARE ENGINEER. 1269 01:12:13,728 --> 01:12:16,565 - YOU'RE A SOFTWARE ENGINEER? - YEP. 1270 01:12:16,600 --> 01:12:19,165 THINGS, UH, MUST BE VERY ROUGH FOR YOU. 1271 01:12:19,201 --> 01:12:22,502 ACTUALLY, MAN, I MAKE MORE MONEY SELLING MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS... 1272 01:12:22,538 --> 01:12:24,644 THAN I EVER DID AT INITRODE. 1273 01:12:24,679 --> 01:12:26,846 AT INITRODE? 1274 01:12:26,881 --> 01:12:30,680 WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL ANYBODY ABOUT THIS STUFF WE TOLD YOU. 1275 01:12:30,715 --> 01:12:33,485 I MEAN, WE KNOW A LOT OF THE SAME PEOPLE. THAT'S-- 1276 01:12:35,016 --> 01:12:38,018 [ Clears Throat ] ACTUALLY, UM, THAT ALL DEPENDS. 1277 01:12:38,054 --> 01:12:40,558 WH-- 1278 01:12:42,892 --> 01:12:46,465 WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH 40 SUBSCRIPTIONS TO VIBE? 1279 01:12:46,501 --> 01:12:50,299 WE NEVER SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS. WHAT WERE WE THINKING? 1280 01:12:50,335 --> 01:12:53,136 YOU KNOW WHAT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT? 1281 01:12:53,172 --> 01:12:57,001 HOW IS IT THAT ALL THESE STUPID, NEANDERTHAL MAFIA GUYS CAN BE SO GOOD AT CRIME... 1282 01:12:57,037 --> 01:12:59,505 AND SMART GUYS LIKE US CAN SUCK SO BADLY AT IT? 1283 01:12:59,541 --> 01:13:01,541 WE'RE NEW TO IT, THOUGH. 1284 01:13:01,576 --> 01:13:03,778 IF WE HAD MORE EXPERIENCE-- 1285 01:13:03,814 --> 01:13:07,247 NO, YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK? I THINK WE'RE SCREWED. 1286 01:13:07,283 --> 01:13:10,990 THERE'S ENOUGH EVIDENCE ALL OVER THAT BUILDING TO LINK US TO THIS. 1287 01:13:11,025 --> 01:13:14,619 EVEN IF WE COULD LAUNDER MONEY, I WOULDN'T WANT TO. WHAT WE'VE DONE IS BAD ENOUGH. 1288 01:13:14,655 --> 01:13:18,059 WE GET CAUGHT LAUNDERING MONEY, WE'RE NOT GOING TO WHITE-COLLAR RESORT PRISON. 1289 01:13:18,095 --> 01:13:21,024 NO, NO, NO, WE'RE GOING TO FEDERAL POUND-ME-IN-THE-ASS PRISON. 1290 01:13:21,059 --> 01:13:24,168 I-I-I DON'T WANT TO GO TO ANY PRISON! 1291 01:13:24,203 --> 01:13:26,098 WHY THE HELL DID I DO THIS? 1292 01:13:26,133 --> 01:13:28,874 I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN MY WHOLE LIFE. 1293 01:13:28,909 --> 01:13:31,871 WE WEREN'T THINKING CLEARLY BECAUSE YOU TOLD US WE WERE LOSING OUR JOBS. 1294 01:13:31,907 --> 01:13:34,379 AND NOW WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT GOING IN A PRISON. 1295 01:13:34,415 --> 01:13:36,715 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING. 1296 01:13:36,751 --> 01:13:38,545 [ Scoffs ] 1297 01:13:38,580 --> 01:13:41,619 I'M GOING HOME. ME TOO. 1298 01:13:43,455 --> 01:13:47,320 YOU ARE A VERY BAD PERSON, PETER. 1299 01:13:47,356 --> 01:13:49,660 [ Door Opens ] 1300 01:13:51,294 --> 01:13:53,433 [ Door Closes ] 1301 01:14:07,542 --> 01:14:09,682 LAWRENCE, YOU AWAKE? 1302 01:14:09,717 --> 01:14:11,510 YEAH. 1303 01:14:11,546 --> 01:14:13,509 YOU WANNA COME OVER? 1304 01:14:13,544 --> 01:14:17,283 NO, THANKS, MAN. I DON'T WANT YOU FUCKIN' UP MY LIFE TOO. 1305 01:14:17,318 --> 01:14:19,459 GODDAMN. 1306 01:14:22,422 --> 01:14:25,462 AND IN LIGHT OF THE SENSELESSNESS OF THESE HEINOUS CRIMES... 1307 01:14:25,498 --> 01:14:27,728 THAT YOU HAVE COMMITTED AGAINST INITECH, 1308 01:14:27,764 --> 01:14:30,330 I HEREBY SENTENCE YOU, MICHAEL BOLTON... 1309 01:14:30,366 --> 01:14:32,332 AND SAMIR NAAN-- 1310 01:14:32,368 --> 01:14:35,439 NANADAJIBAD... 1311 01:14:35,475 --> 01:14:38,443 TO A TERM OF NO LESS THAN FOUR YEARS... 1312 01:14:38,478 --> 01:14:40,876 IN A FEDERAL POUND-ME-IN-THE-ASS PRISON. 1313 01:14:42,412 --> 01:14:43,978 [ Sniffling, Sobbing ] 1314 01:14:45,315 --> 01:14:47,419 PETER GIBBONS, 1315 01:14:47,454 --> 01:14:50,083 YOU'VE LED A TRITE AND MEANINGLESS LIFE. 1316 01:14:51,423 --> 01:14:55,055 AND YOU'RE A VERY BAD PERSON. 1317 01:14:56,328 --> 01:14:58,828 [ Gavel Bangs, Reverberates ] 1318 01:15:21,382 --> 01:15:23,523 [ Sighs ] 1319 01:15:32,195 --> 01:15:34,632 HEY. 1320 01:15:34,667 --> 01:15:37,564 YOU'RE NOT WORKING AT CHOTCHKIE'S ANYMORE, HUH? 1321 01:15:37,599 --> 01:15:39,905 NO. NO, I GOT FIRED. 1322 01:15:39,941 --> 01:15:41,700 WHAT HAPPENED? 1323 01:15:41,735 --> 01:15:43,909 I FLIPPED OFF MY BOSS, 1324 01:15:43,945 --> 01:15:45,637 SOME CUSTOMERS-- 1325 01:15:45,672 --> 01:15:49,975 ACTUALLY, A LINE COOK, BUT HE JUST HAPPENED TO BE STANDING THERE, SO-- 1326 01:15:50,010 --> 01:15:52,478 I MIGHT BE GOING AWAY FOR A WHILE, 1327 01:15:52,513 --> 01:15:55,821 UH, TO JAIL. 1328 01:15:55,856 --> 01:15:59,018 YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THAT COMPUTER SCAM. THAT WAS A BAD IDEA. 1329 01:15:59,053 --> 01:16:01,693 I'M GONNA TAKE THE BLAME FOR IT, I DECIDED. 1330 01:16:03,391 --> 01:16:06,461 I'M ON MY WAY NOW TO RETURN THE MONEY AND LEAVE A CONFESSION... 1331 01:16:06,496 --> 01:16:08,568 UNDER LUMBERGH'S DOOR. 1332 01:16:09,798 --> 01:16:11,764 JOANNA, I WANT TO APOLOGIZE. 1333 01:16:11,799 --> 01:16:15,637 I HAD NO RIGHT TO GET PISSED OFF AT YOU ABOUT LUMBERGH. LUMBERGH IS NOT MY PROBLEM. 1334 01:16:15,673 --> 01:16:17,709 WASN'T EVEN THE RIGHT LUMBERGH. 1335 01:16:17,745 --> 01:16:21,678 I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAN'T JUST GO TO WORK AND BE HAPPY... 1336 01:16:21,713 --> 01:16:24,373 LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TO, LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE. 1337 01:16:24,408 --> 01:16:26,413 PETER, MOST PEOPLE DON'T LIKE THEIR JOBS. 1338 01:16:26,448 --> 01:16:30,384 BUT YOU GO OUT THERE AND YOU FIND SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. 1339 01:16:30,420 --> 01:16:32,592 YEAH, WELL... 1340 01:16:33,789 --> 01:16:36,054 I MAY NEVER BE HAPPY AT MY JOB, 1341 01:16:36,090 --> 01:16:39,057 BUT I THINK THAT IF I COULD BE WITH YOU, 1342 01:16:39,092 --> 01:16:41,232 THAT I COULD BE HAPPY WITH MY LIFE. 1343 01:16:41,267 --> 01:16:43,162 I'VE BEEN A REAL ASSHOLE. 1344 01:16:43,197 --> 01:16:46,301 BUT IF YOU COULD GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT, I PROMISE-- 1345 01:16:46,337 --> 01:16:48,267 OKAY, SHUT UP. 1346 01:16:52,039 --> 01:16:54,874 WHOA! HEY! WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 1347 01:16:54,910 --> 01:16:57,480 GET A ROOM, YOU TWO! [ Cackles ] 1348 01:16:57,516 --> 01:17:00,084 NYAH-NYAH-NYAH! [ Laughing ] 1349 01:17:00,120 --> 01:17:02,985 I HATE THAT GUY. 1350 01:17:41,159 --> 01:17:43,124 [ Sighs ] 1351 01:17:53,971 --> 01:17:56,905 THEN MR. LUMBERGH TOLD ME TO TALK TO PAYROLL, 1352 01:17:56,941 --> 01:17:59,538 AND THEN PAYROLL TOLD ME TO TALK TO MR. LUMBERGH. 1353 01:17:59,574 --> 01:18:02,610 I STILL HAVEN'T RECEIVED MY PAYCHECK, AND HE TOOK MY STAPLER. 1354 01:18:02,645 --> 01:18:04,579 HE NEVER BROUGHT IT BACK. 1355 01:18:04,614 --> 01:18:07,885 THEN THEY MOVED BY DESK TO STORAGE ROOM "B" AND THERE WAS GARBAGE ON IT-- 1356 01:18:07,920 --> 01:18:10,749 WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK DOWN AND SIT AT YOUR DESK. 1357 01:18:10,784 --> 01:18:13,821 -MR. LUMBERGH SHOULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE. -I WANT TO TALK TO MR. LUMBERGH. 1358 01:18:13,857 --> 01:18:15,823 JUST GO SIT AT YOUR DESK. OKAY? 1359 01:18:15,858 --> 01:18:19,030 OKAY, BUT I-- I-- I'M GONNA JUST-- 1360 01:18:19,065 --> 01:18:21,927 I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW, MY DESK IS LOCATED IN THE BASEMENT. 1361 01:18:21,963 --> 01:18:24,033 I'M SURE YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS. 1362 01:18:24,068 --> 01:18:25,967 [ Milton Continues Muttering ] [ Door Closes ] 1363 01:18:26,003 --> 01:18:28,433 I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO TAKE MY STAPLER BACK. 1364 01:18:28,469 --> 01:18:31,634 BECAUSE IT'S MY STAPLER, AND I TOLD MR.-- IT'S MY-- IT'S-- 1365 01:18:37,583 --> 01:18:39,550 IT'S MY STAPLER. IT'S A SWINGLINE. 1366 01:18:39,586 --> 01:18:42,577 I'VE BEEN USING IT FOR A LONG TIME. 1367 01:18:42,613 --> 01:18:44,955 [ Continues Muttering ] IT DOESN'T BIND UP-- 1368 01:19:00,638 --> 01:19:02,742 LAWRENCE. YOU IN THERE? 1369 01:19:04,509 --> 01:19:06,406 WHOA. HEY, PETER, MAN. 1370 01:19:06,442 --> 01:19:08,408 HEY. 1371 01:19:08,444 --> 01:19:12,782 SO, I MIGHT BE GOING AWAY FOR A WHILE. YEAH, I KNOW, MAN. 1372 01:19:12,817 --> 01:19:15,317 IT'S A BUMMER, DUDE. WHAT CAN I SAY? 1373 01:19:15,353 --> 01:19:17,317 YEAH. UH-- 1374 01:19:19,185 --> 01:19:22,290 WELL, TIME TO GO FACE THE MUSIC. 1375 01:19:22,325 --> 01:19:25,258 YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF IF I DON'T SEE YOU. ALL RIGHT? 1376 01:19:25,294 --> 01:19:28,330 YOU TOO, MAN. TAKE 'ER EASY, BUD. ALL RIGHT. 1377 01:19:28,366 --> 01:19:30,500 ALL RIGHT. 1378 01:19:30,536 --> 01:19:33,670 - HEY, PETER. - YEAH? 1379 01:19:33,706 --> 01:19:36,369 WATCH OUT FOR YOUR CORNHOLE, BUD. 1380 01:19:37,475 --> 01:19:39,372 OKAY, LAWRENCE. 1381 01:19:40,976 --> 01:19:44,443 [ Siren Wailing In Distance ] 1382 01:19:49,617 --> 01:19:53,120 [ Radio: Dispatcher, Indistinct ] [ Chattering, Murmuring ] 1383 01:19:53,155 --> 01:19:56,094 [ Fireman ] STAY CLEAR, NOW! STAY CLEAR! 1384 01:19:56,130 --> 01:19:58,096 HOLY SHIT! 1385 01:19:58,132 --> 01:20:00,063 EXCUSE ME. 1386 01:20:13,314 --> 01:20:15,673 [ Milton Muttering ] 1387 01:20:15,708 --> 01:20:20,215 AND, UH-- I MEAN, CAN I-- I WAS HERE FIRST. I HAVE TO-- 1388 01:20:23,453 --> 01:20:25,418 OH, GOSH. 1389 01:21:07,130 --> 01:21:10,133 WAIT A MINUTE. LET ME TAKE A LOOK AT THAT. 1390 01:21:10,168 --> 01:21:14,036 YOU DON'T WANT THAT, PETER, MAN. THAT'S TOASTED, MAN. 1391 01:21:14,071 --> 01:21:17,107 I THINK I KNOW SOMEONE WHO MIGHT WANT THIS. 1392 01:21:21,141 --> 01:21:24,411 ♪♪ [ Car Stereo: Rap ] 1393 01:21:26,452 --> 01:21:28,417 [ Horn Honks ] 1394 01:21:28,452 --> 01:21:30,454 HEY, MAN! 1395 01:21:30,489 --> 01:21:32,622 WANNA GO TO LUNCH? 1396 01:21:32,657 --> 01:21:34,520 BROUGHT MINE IN A PAIL. 1397 01:21:34,556 --> 01:21:38,224 PLUS, JOANNA'S SUPPOSED TO COME BY A LITTLE LATER. 1398 01:21:38,259 --> 01:21:41,192 SO, HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEW JOB? 1399 01:21:41,227 --> 01:21:43,435 NOT TOO BAD. NOT TOO BAD. 1400 01:21:43,470 --> 01:21:44,866 HOW'S, UH, PENETRODE? 1401 01:21:44,901 --> 01:21:46,362 INTERTRODE. INTERTRODE. 1402 01:21:46,398 --> 01:21:49,373 THEY'RE ALL RIGHT. IT'S WORK. 1403 01:21:49,408 --> 01:21:51,271 YEAH. YEAH. 1404 01:21:51,306 --> 01:21:52,811 PROBABLY GET YOU A JOB THERE IF YOU WANT. 1405 01:21:52,846 --> 01:21:55,772 NO, THANKS. I, UH-- I'M DOING GOOD HERE. 1406 01:21:57,712 --> 01:22:00,046 SO, UH... 1407 01:22:00,081 --> 01:22:02,286 WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY, RIGHT? 1408 01:22:02,321 --> 01:22:04,550 YEAH. 1409 01:22:04,586 --> 01:22:07,659 I THINK THE FIRE PRETTY MUCH TOOK CARE OF EVERYTHING. 1410 01:22:07,695 --> 01:22:09,625 I WONDER IF THE MONEY BURNED UP. 1411 01:22:09,661 --> 01:22:11,196 IT WOULD BE A SHAME. 1412 01:22:11,231 --> 01:22:15,327 - YEAH. - SO YOU'RE SURE YOU DON'T WANT US TO GET YOU A JOB? 1413 01:22:15,363 --> 01:22:18,531 THAT'S ONE THING I'M DEFINITELY SURE OF. 1414 01:22:20,673 --> 01:22:22,764 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, CHIEF. 1415 01:22:22,800 --> 01:22:25,439 YOU GUYS TAKE CARE. ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT. 1416 01:22:26,645 --> 01:22:28,611 STAY IN TOUCH, MAN. 1417 01:22:28,646 --> 01:22:30,774 OKAY. WILL DO. 1418 01:22:33,619 --> 01:22:35,548 THIS ISN'T SO BAD, HUH? 1419 01:22:36,888 --> 01:22:40,490 MAKING BUCKS, GETTING EXERCISE, 1420 01:22:40,526 --> 01:22:42,491 WORKING OUTSIDE. 1421 01:22:42,527 --> 01:22:44,326 FUCKIN'-A. 1422 01:22:46,465 --> 01:22:48,429 FUCKIN'-A. 1423 01:23:06,444 --> 01:23:09,016 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME, SEÑOR. 1424 01:23:09,052 --> 01:23:10,749 MAY I SPEAK TO YOU, PLEASE? 1425 01:23:10,785 --> 01:23:13,392 I ASKED FOR A MAI TAI, AND THEY BROUGHT ME A PIÑA COLADA. 1426 01:23:13,427 --> 01:23:17,052 AND I SAID NO SALT-- NO SALT FOR THE MARGARITA, BUT IT HAD SALT ON IT. 1427 01:23:17,087 --> 01:23:20,361 LO SIENTO MUCHO, SEÑOR. [ Muttering ] PINCHE GRINGO. 1428 01:23:20,396 --> 01:23:23,365 IF THIS HAPPENS AGAIN, I WON'T BE LEAVING A TIP. 1429 01:23:23,401 --> 01:23:26,534 'CAUSE I COULD-- I COULD SHUT THIS WHOLE RESORT DOWN. 1430 01:23:26,570 --> 01:23:28,536 SIR? 1431 01:23:28,571 --> 01:23:32,176 I COULD TAKE MY TRAVELER'S CHECKS TO A COMPETING RESORT. 1432 01:23:34,212 --> 01:23:36,573 I COULD WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR BOARD OF TOURISM, 1433 01:23:36,608 --> 01:23:39,613 AND I COULD HAVE THIS PLACE CONDEMNED. 1434 01:23:39,648 --> 01:23:43,582 I COULD PUT-- I COULD PUT STRYCHNINE IN THE GUACAMOLE. 1435 01:23:43,618 --> 01:23:46,689 THERE WAS SALT ON THE GLASS. BIG GRAINS OF SALT. 1436 01:23:46,725 --> 01:23:49,655 ♪♪ [ Hip-hop ] 1437 01:23:51,456 --> 01:23:54,561 [ Man Vocalizing, Echoing ] 1438 01:24:00,833 --> 01:24:03,800 GIVE HER A RIDE ON THE OLD BONE ROLLER COASTER. 1439 01:24:03,836 --> 01:24:06,740 AAAAH! [ Chuckles, Whistles ] [ Lumbergh ] MMM! 1440 01:24:06,775 --> 01:24:08,211 YEAH. 1441 01:24:08,247 --> 01:24:09,877 [ Man Rapping ] ♪ YO, 6:00 EVERY MORNING ♪ 1442 01:24:09,913 --> 01:24:13,276 ♪ YOU WAKIN' UP YAWNIN' TO THE SOUND OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK ALARMIN' ♪ 1443 01:24:13,312 --> 01:24:16,511 ♪ ABOUT AN HOUR FROM NOW YOU SHOULD BE AT YOUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT ♪ 1444 01:24:16,546 --> 01:24:20,023 ♪ WHICH IS ANNOYIN' 'CAUSE IT'S SO BORIN' YOUR COWORKERS BEEN TALKIN' ♪ 1445 01:24:20,058 --> 01:24:21,990 HEY, DON'T COME BACK IN A DRESS, MAN! 1446 01:24:22,025 --> 01:24:23,887 [ Chuckles ] YOU BIG FAG! 1447 01:24:23,922 --> 01:24:26,190 ♪ YOU WONDER WHY YOUR WORKLOAD IS SO ENORMOUS ♪ 1448 01:24:26,226 --> 01:24:29,561 ♪ 'CAUSE YOUR BOSS JUST LAID OFF THREE-QUARTERS OF THE WHOLE OFFICE ♪ 1449 01:24:29,597 --> 01:24:31,831 ♪ PEOPLE GET DEPRESSED THEY GET ULCERS ♪ 1450 01:24:31,866 --> 01:24:34,536 ♪ FROM THE STRESS THAT THE CORPORATE ENVIRONMENT CAUSES ♪ 1451 01:24:34,571 --> 01:24:37,098 ♪ REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU ULTIMATELY WANNA SOLVE THIS ♪ 1452 01:24:37,134 --> 01:24:39,705 ♪ SEEMS TO ME LIKE YOU GOT ONE OF FOUR CHOICES ♪ 1453 01:24:39,740 --> 01:24:42,378 ♪ YOU COULD TAKE A NEW JOB OFFER FOR MORE TIPS ♪ 1454 01:24:42,413 --> 01:24:44,842 ♪ STICK IT OUT A LITTLE LONGER OR FORFEIT ♪ 1455 01:24:44,877 --> 01:24:46,843 ♪ BUT MY ADVICE TO ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO QUIT ♪ 1456 01:24:46,879 --> 01:24:50,350 I'M WORKING AT HOOTERS NOW, AND IT'S VERY COOL. 1457 01:24:50,385 --> 01:24:52,051 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1458 01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:55,553 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1459 01:24:55,588 --> 01:24:57,654 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1460 01:24:57,689 --> 01:25:00,690 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ 1461 01:25:00,725 --> 01:25:03,029 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1462 01:25:03,065 --> 01:25:06,234 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1463 01:25:06,269 --> 01:25:08,701 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB TAKE THIS JOB ♪ 1464 01:25:08,736 --> 01:25:11,172 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ ♪ YO ♪ 1465 01:25:11,208 --> 01:25:13,308 ♪ IF YOUR BOSS IS AN S.O.B. ♪ 1466 01:25:13,343 --> 01:25:16,641 ♪ TELL HIM TO S-H-O-V-E THE J-O-B ♪ 1467 01:25:16,676 --> 01:25:18,517 ♪ PUT YOUR MIDDLE FINGER UP SLOWLY ♪ 1468 01:25:18,552 --> 01:25:21,844 ♪ PUT IT CLOSE AND UP TO HIS FACE SO HE CAN EXAMINE IT CLOSELY ♪ 1469 01:25:21,879 --> 01:25:23,679 ♪ SAY "I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ 1470 01:25:23,715 --> 01:25:24,914 ♪ WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" ♪ 1471 01:25:24,950 --> 01:25:26,985 ♪ RIP THE APRON OFF THROW IT ON THE FLOOR ♪ 1472 01:25:27,020 --> 01:25:30,086 ♪ RUN TO THE DOOR TO THE PAY PHONE MAKE A TOLL-FREE CALL ♪ 1473 01:25:30,121 --> 01:25:32,528 ♪ TELL YOUR SPOUSE WHAT HAPPENED AND WHERE YOU ARE ♪ 1474 01:25:32,563 --> 01:25:34,958 ♪ SO THEY CAN COME TO GET YOU IN THE CAR LATER ON ♪ 1475 01:25:34,993 --> 01:25:37,795 ♪ AND HELP YOU SEARCH FOR A NEW 9:00-TO-5:00 JOB ♪ 1476 01:25:37,831 --> 01:25:39,963 ♪ IF THE UNEMPLOYMENT LINE AIN'T THAT LONG ♪ 1477 01:25:39,998 --> 01:25:42,901 ♪ YOU CAN TAKE YOUR TIME FILLIN' OUT W-9 FORMS ♪ 1478 01:25:42,936 --> 01:25:45,467 ♪ EVENTUALLY YOU'LL GET ON IF YOU TRY HARD ENOUGH ♪ 1479 01:25:45,503 --> 01:25:48,376 ♪ AND YOU'LL GET MONEY IF YOU KEEP PUNCHIN' YOUR TIME CARD ENOUGH ♪ 1480 01:25:48,412 --> 01:25:50,143 ♪ MAYBE YOU HATE IT MAYBE YOU LOVE IT ♪ 1481 01:25:50,179 --> 01:25:53,545 ♪ BUT IF YOU HATE IT ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS GET MAD AND TELL YOUR BOSS TO ♪ 1482 01:25:53,580 --> 01:25:55,620 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1483 01:25:55,656 --> 01:25:58,748 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1484 01:25:58,783 --> 01:26:00,882 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1485 01:26:00,917 --> 01:26:04,160 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ 1486 01:26:04,195 --> 01:26:06,257 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1487 01:26:06,293 --> 01:26:09,396 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1488 01:26:09,431 --> 01:26:11,896 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB TAKE THIS JOB ♪ 1489 01:26:11,931 --> 01:26:14,634 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ ♪ YO ♪ 1490 01:26:14,669 --> 01:26:16,508 ♪ SOME OCCUPATIONS ARE LIKE SLAVE GIGS ♪ 1491 01:26:16,543 --> 01:26:19,303 ♪ THE BOSS'S FAVORITE'LL GET PLACED IN SOMETHIN' SPACIOUS ♪ 1492 01:26:19,338 --> 01:26:22,575 ♪ WHILE THE MOST HATED GET PLACED IN SOME SMALL CUBICLE SPACES ♪ 1493 01:26:22,611 --> 01:26:24,312 ♪ OR GET THROWN DOWN IN THE BASEMENT ♪ 1494 01:26:24,348 --> 01:26:25,908 ♪ GET YOUR STAPLER CONFISCATED ♪ 1495 01:26:25,944 --> 01:26:27,882 ♪ YOU CONSTANTLY WAITIN' FOR A PAYCHECK ♪ 1496 01:26:27,917 --> 01:26:30,548 ♪ TWELVE MONTHS PASS BY AND YOU STILL AIN'T GET PAID YET ♪ 1497 01:26:30,584 --> 01:26:32,283 ♪ HERE'S AN OPTIMISTIC MOTTO ♪ 1498 01:26:32,319 --> 01:26:35,686 ♪ IF YOU EVER LATE FOR TODAY YOU CAN SAY YOU EARLY FOR TOMORROW ♪ 1499 01:26:35,722 --> 01:26:37,386 ♪ MOST 9:00-TO-5:00s ARE HARD ♪ 1500 01:26:37,422 --> 01:26:40,760 ♪ 'CAUSE THE DESCRIPTION OF THE JOB AIN'T NO PICNIC IN THE PARK ♪ 1501 01:26:40,796 --> 01:26:43,302 ♪ PEOPLE GET HIRED DRINK COFFEE TO STAY WIRED ♪ 1502 01:26:43,337 --> 01:26:46,071 ♪ SO THEY DON'T GET TIRED SLEEP LATE AND GET FIRED ♪ 1503 01:26:46,106 --> 01:26:48,865 ♪ YOU CAME IN LATE YOU ALREADY ATE ♪ 1504 01:26:48,900 --> 01:26:51,166 ♪ NOW YOU WANNA TAKE A LUNCH BREAK ♪ 1505 01:26:51,202 --> 01:26:54,074 ♪ HEY, YO, BUST IT AIN'T NO NEED TO DISCUSS IT ♪ 1506 01:26:54,109 --> 01:26:56,806 ♪ JUST TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT RIGHT BETWEEN YOUR BUTTOCKS ♪ 1507 01:26:56,841 --> 01:26:59,112 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1508 01:26:59,148 --> 01:27:01,987 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1509 01:27:02,022 --> 01:27:04,319 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1510 01:27:04,354 --> 01:27:07,487 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ 1511 01:27:07,522 --> 01:27:09,518 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1512 01:27:09,554 --> 01:27:12,624 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1513 01:27:12,659 --> 01:27:15,192 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB TAKE THIS JOB ♪ 1514 01:27:15,227 --> 01:27:17,827 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ [ Lumbergh ] MMM. YEAH. 1515 01:27:17,862 --> 01:27:20,166 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1516 01:27:20,202 --> 01:27:23,237 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1517 01:27:23,272 --> 01:27:25,736 ♪ I, I, I, I, I-I-I-I ♪ 1518 01:27:25,771 --> 01:27:28,607 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ 1519 01:27:28,642 --> 01:27:30,605 ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1520 01:27:30,641 --> 01:27:33,608 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ ♪ TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT ♪ 1521 01:27:33,644 --> 01:27:35,982 ♪ I-I, I-I-I ♪ 1522 01:27:36,017 --> 01:27:39,121 ♪ I AIN'T WORKIN' HERE NO MORE ♪ [ Lumbergh ] MMM. YEAH. 1523 01:27:39,156 --> 01:27:41,618 ♪ AHH-AHH, AH-AH-AHH ♪ 1524 01:27:41,653 --> 01:27:44,423 ♪ CANIBUS AND THE BIZ ♪ 1525 01:27:44,458 --> 01:27:46,627 ♪ AHH-AHH, AH-AH-AHH ♪ 1526 01:27:46,662 --> 01:27:49,626 ♪ IT'S COMIN' FROM CANIBUS AND THE BIZ ♪ 1527 01:27:49,661 --> 01:27:51,863 ♪ WHAT, WHAT WHAT ♪ 1528 01:27:51,898 --> 01:27:54,764 ♪ IT'S COMIN' FROM CANIBUS AND THE BIZ ♪ 1529 01:27:54,800 --> 01:27:57,139 ♪ AHHH, AHHH ♪ ♪ FROM ♪ 1530 01:27:57,174 --> 01:27:58,668 ♪ FROM CANIBUS AND THE ♪ 1531 01:27:58,704 --> 01:28:03,348 ♪ BI-I-I-I-I-I-I-IZ ♪♪