1 00:00:00,907 --> 00:00:02,774 "Will & Grace" is recorded 2 00:00:02,810 --> 00:00:04,876 in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:04,912 --> 00:00:08,947 So Karen invited her new boyfriend over for brunch. 4 00:00:08,983 --> 00:00:10,415 That's, like, something 5 00:00:10,451 --> 00:00:11,954 a person would do. 6 00:00:12,966 --> 00:00:14,998 I know, it's strangely human... 7 00:00:15,856 --> 00:00:18,210 like when a chimp smokes a cigarette. 8 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:21,793 Phil's on his way up. 9 00:00:21,829 --> 00:00:24,129 Grace, fix your tie. Will, change your dress. 10 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:30,305 Good Lord, feel my heart. It's beating aile a minute. 11 00:00:36,903 --> 00:00:39,604 Okay, there's one. Yeah. 12 00:00:39,629 --> 00:00:42,664 I have never seen you so excited about a guy. 13 00:00:42,783 --> 00:00:45,851 Well, I finally met someone I really like. 14 00:00:45,886 --> 00:00:48,120 You have no idea how hard it is out there. 15 00:00:48,155 --> 00:00:50,159 All the good ones have been indicted. 16 00:00:52,026 --> 00:00:54,092 So, tell us about Phil. 17 00:00:54,128 --> 00:00:56,028 Charming, sweet, 18 00:00:56,063 --> 00:00:58,417 and he has a remarkable penis. 19 00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,000 It's like an oil rig 20 00:01:02,036 --> 00:01:05,382 drilling until it devastates everything in its path. 21 00:01:10,044 --> 00:01:12,210 I... I just meant what does he do? 22 00:01:13,647 --> 00:01:15,047 He's here. 23 00:01:15,082 --> 00:01:16,982 Will, put on some lipstick. Grace, stop mincing. 24 00:01:18,852 --> 00:01:20,886 - Hey, babe. - Ooh! 25 00:01:20,921 --> 00:01:21,953 He calls me babe. 26 00:01:21,989 --> 00:01:24,790 Hi, babe. I call him babe. 27 00:01:24,825 --> 00:01:28,193 Will, Grace, meet Dr. Phil Johnson. 28 00:01:28,228 --> 00:01:29,695 Ooh, what do you think? 29 00:01:29,730 --> 00:01:31,129 You gotta give 'em a chance. 30 00:01:31,165 --> 00:01:33,832 I haven't even turned on my A game. 31 00:01:33,867 --> 00:01:35,801 Will, this is for you. 32 00:01:35,836 --> 00:01:38,804 Karen told me you're a big, bold, complex guy, 33 00:01:38,839 --> 00:01:40,334 like this cabernet. 34 00:01:41,942 --> 00:01:44,379 Don't forget fruity and gives you a headache. 35 00:01:47,715 --> 00:01:49,092 And Grace, 36 00:01:49,649 --> 00:01:51,983 here's something beautiful and delicate like yourself. 37 00:01:52,008 --> 00:01:54,973 Don't forget slightly wilted and covered in bees. 38 00:01:57,858 --> 00:01:59,257 Welcome, it's so... 39 00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,892 Okay, back off desperado. 40 00:02:00,928 --> 00:02:02,189 He's taken. 41 00:02:06,416 --> 00:02:14,425 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 42 00:02:14,742 --> 00:02:17,242 Papi, it's so sad to think of Miss Coco's closing. 43 00:02:17,277 --> 00:02:20,112 I know, it's like a death. 44 00:02:20,147 --> 00:02:21,847 So what's going to happen to Coco's? 45 00:02:21,882 --> 00:02:24,787 Unless someone buys it, it goes away. 46 00:02:24,787 --> 00:02:26,853 Just like every other gay bar in this city. 47 00:02:26,889 --> 00:02:29,716 You know, the Manhole is now a Victoria's Secret. 48 00:02:30,926 --> 00:02:33,553 I imagine there is some crossover. 49 00:02:34,063 --> 00:02:36,630 Where will all these people go? 50 00:02:36,665 --> 00:02:39,466 Where will Slutty Steve get his self-esteem? 51 00:02:39,501 --> 00:02:41,802 What will happen to Rough Trade Ralph 52 00:02:41,837 --> 00:02:43,939 or Scientology guy? 53 00:02:45,574 --> 00:02:47,774 We can't let all the gay bars disappear. 54 00:02:47,810 --> 00:02:49,977 Someone needs to buy Coco's. 55 00:02:50,012 --> 00:02:51,111 Well, why don't you? 56 00:02:51,146 --> 00:02:52,713 Me? 57 00:02:52,748 --> 00:02:55,515 Oh no, no. I am a working actor. 58 00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:59,288 Papi, did you get a job? 59 00:03:00,022 --> 00:03:01,655 I'm 60 00:03:01,690 --> 00:03:03,351 working on it. 61 00:03:03,386 --> 00:03:05,826 No, no, no, no, no. I like this idea, you know? 62 00:03:05,861 --> 00:03:07,661 Keep it in the family. 63 00:03:07,696 --> 00:03:09,563 Not my actual family. 64 00:03:09,598 --> 00:03:12,134 They're all Florida gutter trash. 65 00:03:13,002 --> 00:03:15,669 May they get washed away in the next hurricane. 66 00:03:15,704 --> 00:03:18,015 They should get washed away! 67 00:03:18,707 --> 00:03:20,474 God, you should buy it. 68 00:03:20,509 --> 00:03:22,509 I mean, I can't be a flight attendant forever. 69 00:03:22,544 --> 00:03:24,011 At a certain point these passengers, 70 00:03:24,046 --> 00:03:25,679 they start giving you this look, like, 71 00:03:25,714 --> 00:03:27,107 "Oh, I got a old one." 72 00:03:27,616 --> 00:03:28,849 That's crazy. 73 00:03:28,884 --> 00:03:30,117 Where would I even get the money? 74 00:03:30,152 --> 00:03:32,753 Just get a loan. Try the banks. 75 00:03:32,788 --> 00:03:35,073 Okay, Tyra Banks is not gonna give me money. 76 00:03:35,791 --> 00:03:38,201 She's never once returned a DM. 77 00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,996 Apparently, I'm not "Top Model" material. 78 00:03:41,964 --> 00:03:43,764 Oh, no, no, mi amor. 79 00:03:43,799 --> 00:03:47,034 The banks, like, this place that has, like, 80 00:03:47,069 --> 00:03:49,202 a bowl of lollipops. 81 00:03:49,238 --> 00:03:52,873 Oh, a bank. Duh. 82 00:03:52,908 --> 00:03:54,107 I don't know. 83 00:03:54,143 --> 00:03:56,777 I mean, me, a business owner? 84 00:03:57,980 --> 00:04:00,681 I mean, I do have half glasses. 85 00:04:01,757 --> 00:04:04,936 And I have been told I look important when I do this. 86 00:04:05,888 --> 00:04:09,956 Okay, Mr. Business Owner. Where did Mr. Jack go? 87 00:04:09,992 --> 00:04:11,625 It was just a pencil and gla... I'm right here. 88 00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:12,993 It's just me. 89 00:04:18,233 --> 00:04:20,800 Okay, black coffee for Phil. 90 00:04:20,836 --> 00:04:23,870 Karen, I'm fresh out of blood. What are you drinking? 91 00:04:23,905 --> 00:04:27,876 Straight vodka with just a splash of other vodka. 92 00:04:29,344 --> 00:04:31,911 Phil, anything else I can get? 93 00:04:31,947 --> 00:04:33,213 There's a few mini fritters left. 94 00:04:33,248 --> 00:04:34,681 Oh, I couldn't eat another bite. 95 00:04:34,716 --> 00:04:36,783 And by that, I mean I'll have two. 96 00:04:41,690 --> 00:04:43,623 Oh, isn't he hilarious? 97 00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:46,812 It's this all day long. Just back and forth like this. 98 00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,896 So how'd you guys meet? 99 00:04:49,931 --> 00:04:51,431 Oh, it's a funny story. 100 00:04:51,466 --> 00:04:52,632 Are you gonna speak for me? 101 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,634 Oh, I'm sorry, darling. 102 00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,311 I mean, Grace was looking directly at me. 103 00:04:57,346 --> 00:04:59,706 Oh, completely my mistake. 104 00:04:59,741 --> 00:05:01,975 It's okay, anyone can take it. 105 00:05:02,843 --> 00:05:05,182 Go ahead, please. Forgive me? 106 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,755 Oh, I forgive. 107 00:05:06,791 --> 00:05:08,891 But I won't forget. 108 00:05:08,926 --> 00:05:11,093 Uh, we met at the bar at the Carlyle. 109 00:05:11,128 --> 00:05:13,162 I had just finished a very difficult heart surgery. 110 00:05:13,197 --> 00:05:15,230 I thought you were an OB-GYN. 111 00:05:15,266 --> 00:05:17,399 I used to be. I do heart surgery now. 112 00:05:17,435 --> 00:05:20,169 That's unusual. Did you go to med school for... 113 00:05:20,204 --> 00:05:22,204 Will, where did you learn to cook like this 114 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,974 and stay in such good shape? 115 00:05:25,009 --> 00:05:26,984 I mean, do you work out three hours a day? 116 00:05:27,019 --> 00:05:29,078 Three hours? 117 00:05:29,113 --> 00:05:31,046 That would be crazy. 118 00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:34,149 I do two hours and I eat healthy. 119 00:05:34,185 --> 00:05:35,997 Here's an interesting thing about me: 120 00:05:36,022 --> 00:05:37,455 I try to keep my proteins 121 00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:39,123 to the size of a deck of cards, 122 00:05:39,159 --> 00:05:41,259 my grains to the size of a fist, 123 00:05:41,294 --> 00:05:44,195 and then I just load up on leafy greens. 124 00:05:44,230 --> 00:05:45,897 That is fascinating. 125 00:05:45,932 --> 00:05:46,964 Is it? 126 00:05:48,334 --> 00:05:49,967 Your fritters are ready, 127 00:05:50,003 --> 00:05:52,070 and I will refrain from making any fritter puns. 128 00:05:52,105 --> 00:05:53,429 Thank God. 129 00:05:53,465 --> 00:05:55,373 Well, why don't you fritter away and get them? 130 00:06:03,582 --> 00:06:07,100 Good Lord, am I dating Chris Rock? 131 00:06:09,756 --> 00:06:12,717 Okay, let's go back 132 00:06:12,753 --> 00:06:16,134 to how you went from delivering babies to doing heart surgery. 133 00:06:16,159 --> 00:06:18,325 Well, there's actually a lot of crossover. 134 00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:20,294 I mean, sometimes babies don't come out 135 00:06:20,329 --> 00:06:22,897 from the... clown's mouth 136 00:06:22,932 --> 00:06:24,231 and 137 00:06:24,267 --> 00:06:26,801 you have to get them from, you know, 138 00:06:26,836 --> 00:06:28,330 the circus tent. 139 00:06:29,005 --> 00:06:31,875 And we call those "tummy babies." 140 00:06:32,842 --> 00:06:34,942 All these medical terms. 141 00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:38,646 Oh, whoosh right over my head. 142 00:06:38,681 --> 00:06:41,015 Uh, you mean cesarean? 143 00:06:42,518 --> 00:06:44,418 So I guess you're the doctor, huh? 144 00:06:47,790 --> 00:06:49,557 Uh, so how many years ago did you... 145 00:06:49,592 --> 00:06:51,258 I mean, for real, Will, 146 00:06:51,294 --> 00:06:54,328 you are one of David Beckham's arms come to life. 147 00:06:54,363 --> 00:06:55,629 Can I get into the gym with you? 148 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:56,964 Show me a couple of pointers? 149 00:06:56,999 --> 00:07:00,837 Well, of course. I'd love that. 150 00:07:00,872 --> 00:07:02,657 Interesting thing about me... 151 00:07:02,692 --> 00:07:05,385 you know, a lot of people do arms every three days. 152 00:07:05,410 --> 00:07:06,919 I do 'em every 153 00:07:06,944 --> 00:07:08,214 two days. 154 00:07:08,239 --> 00:07:10,435 So it goes... it goes chest, arms, legs, 155 00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:13,875 then back, arms, then back to chest, arms. 156 00:07:13,919 --> 00:07:16,186 Yes, I skipped shoulders. You're probably wondering why. 157 00:07:16,221 --> 00:07:18,788 Let's give them time to guess. 158 00:07:18,824 --> 00:07:21,124 You called me in the kitchen? 159 00:07:24,696 --> 00:07:26,263 Oh ho ho... 160 00:07:26,298 --> 00:07:27,797 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 161 00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,566 Ah, ah, ah. 162 00:07:29,601 --> 00:07:31,334 They are sure to give you the loan, mi amor. 163 00:07:31,370 --> 00:07:33,870 You look so businesslike. 164 00:07:33,905 --> 00:07:35,171 I know. 165 00:07:35,207 --> 00:07:37,474 I'm wearing my three-piece underwear. 166 00:07:38,644 --> 00:07:40,468 Aw, cute little girl. 167 00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:41,892 Oh, that's my nephew. 168 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:45,015 He was Lisa Vanderpump for Halloween. 169 00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:47,450 We so got this. 170 00:07:47,486 --> 00:07:50,276 Hi, I'm Ruth. Sorry I'm late. 171 00:07:50,311 --> 00:07:51,750 I'm going through a thing with my ex. 172 00:07:51,785 --> 00:07:53,452 We're co-parenting a cat 173 00:07:53,488 --> 00:07:55,121 and he doesn't seem to understand 174 00:07:55,146 --> 00:07:58,514 that Mayonnaise needs her medicine every day. 175 00:07:58,550 --> 00:08:00,116 That's all right. 176 00:08:00,151 --> 00:08:02,252 She can scoot her butt across his West Elm rugs 177 00:08:02,287 --> 00:08:04,354 every other weekend. 178 00:08:05,790 --> 00:08:08,791 Uh, I'm sorry. Is now a bad time? 179 00:08:08,827 --> 00:08:10,393 Oh, no, no, no, I'm good. 180 00:08:10,428 --> 00:08:12,996 In fact, I have a date this Friday. 181 00:08:13,031 --> 00:08:16,032 My ex hasn't dated in two years, so... 182 00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:17,233 I win! 183 00:08:18,803 --> 00:08:20,003 I've been looking at your application 184 00:08:20,038 --> 00:08:20,970 and I see that you're interested 185 00:08:21,006 --> 00:08:22,171 in a small business loan. 186 00:08:22,207 --> 00:08:23,640 Small, large. 187 00:08:23,675 --> 00:08:25,086 I'm not a size queen, Ruth. 188 00:08:27,512 --> 00:08:30,546 I'm not a big fan of penis jokes. 189 00:08:30,582 --> 00:08:31,514 Oh. 190 00:08:31,549 --> 00:08:33,997 Well, then, I am... 191 00:08:38,990 --> 00:08:40,962 Out of material. 192 00:08:41,826 --> 00:08:43,626 First issue I see here is your credit. 193 00:08:43,662 --> 00:08:45,361 You don't have any. 194 00:08:45,397 --> 00:08:48,239 Uh, did you look at my resume here? 195 00:08:48,274 --> 00:08:51,401 Most of those credits are real. 196 00:08:51,436 --> 00:08:56,172 It's true, Ruth. He really was Fat Filipino #2. 197 00:08:56,849 --> 00:08:58,849 I didn't have to wear offensive makeup. 198 00:08:58,885 --> 00:09:00,251 The camera was never on me. 199 00:09:00,286 --> 00:09:01,719 No, no, no. 200 00:09:01,754 --> 00:09:02,887 What I mean is that we need to be sure 201 00:09:02,922 --> 00:09:04,322 that you can pay us back. 202 00:09:04,357 --> 00:09:06,290 Okay. 203 00:09:06,326 --> 00:09:08,759 You gonna be that girl, Ruth? 204 00:09:08,795 --> 00:09:10,761 You lend me money, and then you get all weird 205 00:09:10,797 --> 00:09:13,164 if you see me out to dinner? 206 00:09:13,199 --> 00:09:15,366 This is a bank. 207 00:09:15,401 --> 00:09:18,035 And... and this bar just doesn't seem like a good risk. 208 00:09:18,071 --> 00:09:19,941 I mean, is there anything you can show me 209 00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:22,239 that would inspire some confidence? 210 00:09:22,275 --> 00:09:24,339 How 'bout this? 211 00:09:34,694 --> 00:09:36,928 No, you... you can keep that. 212 00:09:38,228 --> 00:09:39,523 Hey, papi. 213 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,907 Maybe show her your PowerPoint presentation. 214 00:09:42,932 --> 00:09:45,566 Ruth, this is a game changer. 215 00:09:45,601 --> 00:09:48,869 Good idea, my PowerPoint. Here we go. 216 00:09:50,206 --> 00:09:53,040 You need to help me 217 00:09:53,075 --> 00:09:54,808 buy that bar down the street 218 00:09:54,843 --> 00:09:57,945 because God as my witness, I don't have the money. 219 00:10:00,416 --> 00:10:01,915 I do not trust that guy. 220 00:10:01,951 --> 00:10:03,317 What? He's great. 221 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:05,654 You keep missing it when he says weird things. 222 00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:09,174 One minute he's an OB-GYN and the next he's a heart surgeon? 223 00:10:09,210 --> 00:10:10,560 Well, that's not so strange. 224 00:10:10,596 --> 00:10:12,759 I mean... vaginas to angina? 225 00:10:14,897 --> 00:10:18,031 Oh, Phil will like that one. 226 00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:19,466 I'm serious, Will. 227 00:10:19,501 --> 00:10:22,069 It's like he's a... 228 00:10:23,038 --> 00:10:25,725 Do you remember that podcast we listened to? 229 00:10:25,761 --> 00:10:27,560 The one about the reporter who delved into the 230 00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:29,485 - unsolved murder in the South? - Not that one. 231 00:10:29,521 --> 00:10:30,853 The one about the reporter who delved into the unsolved 232 00:10:30,889 --> 00:10:32,588 - kidnapping in the South? - Not that one. 233 00:10:32,624 --> 00:10:34,390 The one about the reporter who delved into the unsolved 234 00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:36,125 murder-kidnapping in the South and then got kidnapped 235 00:10:36,161 --> 00:10:37,660 and murdered himself? 236 00:10:37,695 --> 00:10:41,249 No. Phil is Dirty John. 237 00:10:41,666 --> 00:10:43,585 He's Filthy Phil. 238 00:10:44,202 --> 00:10:46,435 I am telling you, it is exactly the same. 239 00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:50,072 He is a handsome, charming, controlling "doctor." 240 00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:53,509 Right, right, he's... he's Dirty John. 241 00:10:53,545 --> 00:10:56,389 Oh, my God, you never listened to it. 242 00:10:57,015 --> 00:10:59,348 I am telling you this guy is after her money. 243 00:10:59,384 --> 00:11:01,117 This is what they do. 244 00:11:01,152 --> 00:11:04,387 They charm their way into your lives until they control you. 245 00:11:04,422 --> 00:11:06,981 Nobody controls Karen Walker. 246 00:11:07,016 --> 00:11:08,858 Oh, I dropped my napkin. 247 00:11:08,893 --> 00:11:11,460 Oh, I'm sorry, darling. I didn't notice. 248 00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:14,230 Ah, ah, ah. Eye contact. 249 00:11:14,265 --> 00:11:15,665 Oh. 250 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:18,301 Hold it, hold it. Yeah. 251 00:11:18,336 --> 00:11:21,270 Uh-huh, keep going. Hold it. 252 00:11:22,941 --> 00:11:24,307 Got it. 253 00:11:24,342 --> 00:11:26,142 Oh, who's my napkin fairy? 254 00:11:26,177 --> 00:11:29,445 Me, me, me! 255 00:11:30,861 --> 00:11:32,260 Okay, that was weird. 256 00:11:38,955 --> 00:11:41,489 So Karen, what do you really know about Phil? 257 00:11:41,525 --> 00:11:44,425 Besides that he's a doctor of everything? 258 00:11:44,461 --> 00:11:46,094 What do you mean, honey? 259 00:11:46,129 --> 00:11:48,029 He seems a little controlling. 260 00:11:48,064 --> 00:11:50,865 I know, but honestly, I... 261 00:11:50,901 --> 00:11:53,635 I like being with a man who takes charge. 262 00:11:53,670 --> 00:11:56,004 For 30 years I had to tell Stan, 263 00:11:56,039 --> 00:11:59,274 "Put on your dinner tarp. We're having a red sauce." 264 00:11:59,309 --> 00:12:00,809 Okay, but... 265 00:12:00,844 --> 00:12:04,490 No, don't ruin this, honey. I'm having fun. 266 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:07,316 And don't worry, I'm not gonna stop being me. 267 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:08,751 - Cigarette, babe? - Sure. 268 00:12:08,786 --> 00:12:10,152 What, you smoke? 269 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:12,090 No, I want him to think I'm cool. 270 00:12:14,392 --> 00:12:16,158 What did you guys talk about? 271 00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:18,527 Well, there may be a couple of red flags. 272 00:12:18,562 --> 00:12:20,329 He's probably not a cardiologist 273 00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:22,364 unless there's actually a heart condition known as 274 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,894 thrombosis expialidocious. 275 00:12:25,636 --> 00:12:28,437 Oh, I knew it. 276 00:12:28,472 --> 00:12:29,938 What are you doing? 277 00:12:29,974 --> 00:12:32,441 I am going through his wallet. 278 00:12:32,476 --> 00:12:34,487 Come on, keep a look out. 279 00:12:35,246 --> 00:12:36,912 Oh, my God. 280 00:12:36,947 --> 00:12:40,149 He has a credit card through Nora Nessbaum. 281 00:12:40,184 --> 00:12:41,250 That's not good... 282 00:12:41,285 --> 00:12:43,786 unless maybe he used to be her. 283 00:12:45,456 --> 00:12:46,922 Great, he's trans. 284 00:12:46,957 --> 00:12:49,024 - Now we have to like him. - Yeah. 285 00:12:51,095 --> 00:12:53,061 Every credit card has a different name, 286 00:12:53,097 --> 00:12:55,731 and not one of them is Phil Johnson. 287 00:12:56,081 --> 00:12:58,215 - Now what are you doing? - I'm Googling him. 288 00:12:58,250 --> 00:13:01,084 What are you Googling, "not Dr. Phil Johnson"? 289 00:13:05,524 --> 00:13:06,556 No. 290 00:13:07,937 --> 00:13:12,229 New York City, con man, rich lady, fake doctor. 291 00:13:12,264 --> 00:13:14,798 Oh, my God, there's so many. 292 00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:16,199 Isn't that your dentist? 293 00:13:16,235 --> 00:13:17,701 Oh, no. 294 00:13:17,736 --> 00:13:20,137 He gave me nitrous for everything. 295 00:13:20,172 --> 00:13:22,305 What are we looking at? 296 00:13:22,341 --> 00:13:24,107 - Uh, we are on Etsy. - Mm. 297 00:13:24,143 --> 00:13:28,211 Uh, looking for a crocheted bong cozy. 298 00:13:29,748 --> 00:13:33,717 Right, 'cause I... I don't want my weed to get cold, right? 299 00:13:36,622 --> 00:13:39,328 And then the bank lady opened the doors 300 00:13:39,363 --> 00:13:41,370 and shoved me roughly onto the sidewalk 301 00:13:41,406 --> 00:13:43,727 and yelled, "We don't want your kind!" 302 00:13:44,198 --> 00:13:47,199 Actually she said, "It was nice to meet you." 303 00:13:47,235 --> 00:13:48,634 And she offered us a cupcake 304 00:13:48,669 --> 00:13:50,603 from the branch manager's birthday. 305 00:13:52,139 --> 00:13:54,807 Well, you did your best, 306 00:13:54,842 --> 00:13:58,043 which is probably why it didn't work. 307 00:13:58,079 --> 00:13:59,411 So that's it, huh? 308 00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:02,147 Another gay bar bites the tush. 309 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,951 But Coco's is more than just another gay bar. 310 00:14:05,987 --> 00:14:08,187 It's a place where we all gather. 311 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,488 People like 312 00:14:09,523 --> 00:14:11,834 Half Tom, Half Tammy. 313 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,712 Where will they go? 314 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:18,091 And Doesn't Know Where She Is Diane. 315 00:14:19,133 --> 00:14:22,127 And Bummer Bennet, who's really annoying. 316 00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:26,248 I mean a miserable person who comes every night 317 00:14:26,273 --> 00:14:29,174 because he knows no one here will say it to his face. 318 00:14:29,209 --> 00:14:30,441 Did you just... 319 00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:32,277 And where Closeted Keith... 320 00:14:32,312 --> 00:14:34,445 Closeted Keith can flirt with guys 321 00:14:34,481 --> 00:14:37,448 so he has something to think about on his date with a girl. 322 00:14:37,484 --> 00:14:39,696 I'll come out when my mom dies. 323 00:14:40,787 --> 00:14:42,654 But most important, 324 00:14:42,689 --> 00:14:46,357 Coco's is the place I first found my community. 325 00:14:46,393 --> 00:14:49,160 I remember a certain 19-year-old kid 326 00:14:49,196 --> 00:14:52,330 in short shorts and a Boy George haircut 327 00:14:52,365 --> 00:14:54,599 roller blading in to use the pay phone. 328 00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,923 I walked in right behind him. 329 00:14:59,757 --> 00:15:02,324 And I looked around and I thought, 330 00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:05,260 "These are my people." 331 00:15:05,296 --> 00:15:07,629 I felt safe. 332 00:15:07,665 --> 00:15:09,598 I was... 333 00:15:09,633 --> 00:15:11,266 I was home. 334 00:15:15,172 --> 00:15:17,206 So you did some digging? You know, 335 00:15:17,241 --> 00:15:19,875 I wouldn't believe everything you see on the internet. 336 00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:22,945 I once clicked on a picture of that kid from "Jerry Maguire" 337 00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:25,992 and I absolutely could believe what he looked like today. 338 00:15:27,318 --> 00:15:28,784 Uh... 339 00:15:28,819 --> 00:15:31,553 So we've heard all about your doctor stuff. 340 00:15:31,589 --> 00:15:33,222 You're probably wondering what we do. 341 00:15:33,257 --> 00:15:35,124 Grace is a designer. I'm a lawyer. 342 00:15:35,159 --> 00:15:37,865 More specifically, I'm Karen's lawyer. 343 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,304 It's my job to look out for her. 344 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,539 - Oh, is that so? - Mm-hmm. 345 00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,174 Well, I sincerely hope 346 00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:45,219 you have someone who can look out for you. 347 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,680 What the hell is that supposed to mean? 348 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:51,215 I mean I sincerely hope somebody looks out for you. 349 00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,050 I mean, everybody should have that. 350 00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,937 You didn't say it like that. 351 00:15:56,022 --> 00:15:57,722 You said it scary, 352 00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,290 like Liam Neeson 353 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,611 before he throws a terrorist into a wood chipper. 354 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,162 You know, I think you misunderstood me, 355 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:08,201 and misunderstandings can cause real problems. 356 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,435 - Kinda just did it again. - No, I did not. 357 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,238 I said, "Misunderstandings can cause real problems." 358 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,774 I mean, watch any episode of "Three's Company." 359 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,127 Phil, I forget... 360 00:16:20,163 --> 00:16:23,130 did you want me to get you the Tesla 3 or the S? 361 00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:25,802 Oh, the S, babe. The 3s are for peasants. 362 00:16:26,336 --> 00:16:28,102 But we have to go. 363 00:16:28,137 --> 00:16:30,037 I have to get to the hospital but if you leave first, 364 00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:32,540 then I can watch that sweet ass walk out. 365 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:36,277 It's like bible camp all over again. 366 00:16:37,647 --> 00:16:40,047 Well, it has been wonderful... 367 00:16:40,383 --> 00:16:42,383 oh, I don't have to do this with you. 368 00:16:43,953 --> 00:16:45,920 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 369 00:16:45,955 --> 00:16:47,855 Um, Karen? Karen, hey. 370 00:16:47,891 --> 00:16:50,501 Why don't you stay so we can dish? 371 00:16:50,526 --> 00:16:52,793 Or I could blow off the surgery 372 00:16:52,828 --> 00:16:55,262 and we could go back to your place and have sex. 373 00:16:55,298 --> 00:16:57,298 You can blow off surgery? 374 00:16:57,333 --> 00:17:01,268 Oh, yeah. The, uh, helper girl can do it. 375 00:17:01,304 --> 00:17:03,570 - You mean the nurse? - Hmm? 376 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,072 Hmm, do I want to make conversation 377 00:17:06,107 --> 00:17:07,841 with Will and Grace 378 00:17:07,877 --> 00:17:10,711 or go to the tongue rodeo for two hours? 379 00:17:12,581 --> 00:17:13,547 Bye, kids. 380 00:17:13,582 --> 00:17:15,215 Yee-haw. 381 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,218 Hey, Karen. Karen, please. 382 00:17:18,254 --> 00:17:20,387 Just don't give this guy a key to your apartment. 383 00:17:20,423 --> 00:17:21,689 Well, he's gotta have one. 384 00:17:21,724 --> 00:17:23,524 He's moved in. 385 00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:25,423 - What? - So fast? 386 00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:26,858 When it's right, it's right. 387 00:17:26,893 --> 00:17:28,726 Karen, say good-bye to your friends. 388 00:17:28,762 --> 00:17:30,992 You don't know when you'll see them again. 389 00:17:31,865 --> 00:17:34,265 Look at that. Did you not hear that? 390 00:17:35,502 --> 00:17:37,635 He's right, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again. 391 00:17:37,671 --> 00:17:40,271 We don't have anything on the books. 392 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:50,018 Ruth, if Coco's closes, where will all these people go? 393 00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:52,667 Where will they go, Ruth, the Starbucks in Chelsea? 394 00:17:52,669 --> 00:17:54,522 There is no lock on the bathroom door. 395 00:17:54,524 --> 00:17:56,642 You both have to hold it closed with your feet. 396 00:17:57,614 --> 00:17:59,437 Where is the romance, huh? 397 00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:02,416 I appreciate your passion, Mr. McFarland, 398 00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:05,142 but I have to consider the risk. 399 00:18:08,446 --> 00:18:09,971 Okay. 400 00:18:09,973 --> 00:18:12,574 All right, get out of here, you big British cigarettes. 401 00:18:12,576 --> 00:18:15,536 Let's go, move it, move it. 402 00:18:16,213 --> 00:18:18,380 I've never done it in a bank before. 403 00:18:18,382 --> 00:18:21,000 Uh, not today, Slutty Steve. 404 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,792 Try liking yourself. 405 00:18:25,255 --> 00:18:29,324 Look, Jack. I know this is personal to you. 406 00:18:29,326 --> 00:18:31,626 I think it's personal to you, too. 407 00:18:31,628 --> 00:18:33,429 You talk about risk. 408 00:18:35,465 --> 00:18:38,600 What about this little boy? Think about it. 409 00:18:38,602 --> 00:18:40,770 What happens when he grows up, huh? 410 00:18:41,238 --> 00:18:42,938 We get rid of all the gay bars, 411 00:18:42,940 --> 00:18:45,900 where does this sweet little gay scout find his den? 412 00:18:47,010 --> 00:18:48,476 You've certainly shown me 413 00:18:48,478 --> 00:18:50,745 that you have a loyal clientele. 414 00:18:50,747 --> 00:18:55,283 80% of every successful restaurant is return customers. 415 00:18:55,285 --> 00:18:57,245 I did a little gay Google. 416 00:18:59,936 --> 00:19:01,536 I gaygled. 417 00:19:02,965 --> 00:19:05,599 I am going to approve this loan. 418 00:19:05,624 --> 00:19:08,125 Seriously? Oh my God, thank you. 419 00:19:08,165 --> 00:19:09,590 I can't believe that worked. 420 00:19:10,367 --> 00:19:13,368 It's ringing. 421 00:19:13,370 --> 00:19:14,669 Honey, thank God you called. 422 00:19:14,671 --> 00:19:16,271 Why, what's wrong? 423 00:19:16,273 --> 00:19:18,340 I don't... I don't know where I am. 424 00:19:18,342 --> 00:19:19,975 It's... it's so dark. 425 00:19:19,977 --> 00:19:22,978 I think I hear a seagull and a foghorn. 426 00:19:22,980 --> 00:19:24,312 My God, Karen. Hold on. 427 00:19:24,314 --> 00:19:25,613 We're gonna trace this call. 428 00:19:25,615 --> 00:19:27,282 Ha, ha, busted! 429 00:19:27,284 --> 00:19:29,617 Leave a message. 430 00:19:35,318 --> 00:19:37,385 I fell for that yesterday. 431 00:19:38,528 --> 00:19:42,664 Will, take out your curlers. Grace, turn off the game. 432 00:19:42,666 --> 00:19:44,466 We need to talk. 433 00:19:44,468 --> 00:19:47,369 I'm getting that you're not on board with Phil. 434 00:19:47,371 --> 00:19:49,371 No, we're not. We don't trust him, 435 00:19:49,373 --> 00:19:51,129 and we don't even think he's a doctor. 436 00:19:51,131 --> 00:19:53,675 Hmm. He said you'd say that. 437 00:19:53,677 --> 00:19:55,343 He's got a wallet full of credit cards 438 00:19:55,345 --> 00:19:56,745 in other people's names. 439 00:19:56,747 --> 00:19:59,481 He said you'd say that, too. 440 00:19:59,483 --> 00:20:01,683 Karen, we think he's only after your money. 441 00:20:04,688 --> 00:20:07,188 He didn't say you'd say that. 442 00:20:09,052 --> 00:20:12,293 Oh, okay. Now he said you'd say that. 443 00:20:13,397 --> 00:20:15,263 And he wants ice cream from one place 444 00:20:15,265 --> 00:20:16,824 and toppings from another. 445 00:20:19,083 --> 00:20:22,704 So, you two think that the only way 446 00:20:22,706 --> 00:20:26,074 a man would be interested in me is for my money? 447 00:20:26,076 --> 00:20:27,742 - That's not what we meant. - Oh my God, no. 448 00:20:27,744 --> 00:20:29,202 We're just worried about you. 449 00:20:30,251 --> 00:20:31,884 You're worried about me, 450 00:20:31,909 --> 00:20:34,409 or you don't want me to be happy 451 00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:37,261 because you don't have a man in your life? 452 00:20:37,962 --> 00:20:39,895 I think you're just 453 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,599 Jewish. 454 00:20:43,780 --> 00:20:47,081 Jewish? Uh, don't you mean I'm jealous? 455 00:20:47,106 --> 00:20:49,039 So you admit it. 456 00:20:49,064 --> 00:20:51,298 Karen, we just the best for you. 457 00:20:51,323 --> 00:20:54,324 So do I, and I think what's best for me 458 00:20:54,349 --> 00:20:55,681 is to have somebody in my life 459 00:20:55,706 --> 00:20:58,607 who loves me and supports me like Phil. 460 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:01,744 So if I have to choose between Phil and you, 461 00:21:02,479 --> 00:21:05,956 well, I'm making my choice right now. 462 00:21:10,022 --> 00:21:12,022 So this is how it ends? 463 00:21:14,294 --> 00:21:16,294 Oh, okay!