1 00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:02,019 "Will and Grace" is recorded in front 2 00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:03,188 of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:04,456 Good morning. 4 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:07,092 Welcome to our gender reveal breakfast. 5 00:00:07,116 --> 00:00:09,494 It's a big moment. 6 00:00:09,518 --> 00:00:11,363 We are one prick away from finding out 7 00:00:11,387 --> 00:00:13,498 one of the most important... 8 00:00:13,522 --> 00:00:15,434 Yeah, can we move things along please? 9 00:00:15,458 --> 00:00:16,829 Lot to do today. 10 00:00:17,793 --> 00:00:19,938 Sorry. We are two pricks away 11 00:00:19,962 --> 00:00:21,540 from finding out... 12 00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,976 Guys, I have a speech and a poem, 13 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,277 so can we please just do this? 14 00:00:25,301 --> 00:00:27,928 Yeah, audience question. Can we cut the poem? 15 00:00:28,671 --> 00:00:31,116 I have to sneak my headshot and résumé into a stack 16 00:00:31,140 --> 00:00:32,885 of submissions for a Broadway show. 17 00:00:32,909 --> 00:00:34,119 And then we have to get to the ballpark 18 00:00:34,143 --> 00:00:35,354 because Karen's baseball team 19 00:00:35,378 --> 00:00:37,022 has their championship game today. 20 00:00:37,046 --> 00:00:40,180 Me owning a baseball team, who-da thunk it? 21 00:00:41,150 --> 00:00:43,962 It's almost as crazy as a homo having a baby. 22 00:00:47,657 --> 00:00:48,901 Go on, Wilma. 23 00:00:48,925 --> 00:00:51,470 Thank you. 24 00:00:51,494 --> 00:00:53,805 A gender party is a curious thing. 25 00:00:53,829 --> 00:00:56,163 Ah! 26 00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:00,534 It's a girl. 27 00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:03,215 Oh, thank God! It's a girl. 28 00:01:03,239 --> 00:01:06,685 I'm gonna name her Harper. 29 00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:09,655 She'll be dressed head-to-toe in breathable French cotton. 30 00:01:09,679 --> 00:01:13,325 She'll smell like an expensive hotel bathroom her entire life. 31 00:01:13,349 --> 00:01:14,860 She'll be a giver 32 00:01:14,884 --> 00:01:16,695 but still have a fierce independent streak. 33 00:01:16,719 --> 00:01:18,163 And most important, 34 00:01:18,187 --> 00:01:19,398 she won't be a gross, smelly boy 35 00:01:19,422 --> 00:01:20,732 that I'll have to teach sports to. 36 00:01:20,756 --> 00:01:23,902 Okay. Okay. 37 00:01:23,926 --> 00:01:26,338 Okay. Sorry, that's... 38 00:01:26,362 --> 00:01:29,007 I'm done. Your turn, Grace. 39 00:01:29,031 --> 00:01:31,510 Remember, boy, girl... 40 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:35,162 Doesn't matter. 41 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:40,218 Um... 42 00:01:40,242 --> 00:01:42,521 - actually, I'm gonna wait. - What? 43 00:01:42,545 --> 00:01:44,723 All of a sudden, I'm not sure what I want, 44 00:01:44,747 --> 00:01:46,625 or what I don't want, or how I'll feel 45 00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:49,416 when I find out what I've got, so, um... 46 00:01:50,753 --> 00:01:52,486 Yeah. 47 00:01:55,925 --> 00:01:57,202 Yeah, well, great party. 48 00:01:57,226 --> 00:01:58,203 - Yeah. - Yeah. 49 00:01:58,227 --> 00:01:59,538 We're gonna jam. 50 00:01:59,562 --> 00:02:01,473 You two are delicious, everything we're for. 51 00:02:01,497 --> 00:02:02,731 Shift it, Kar. 52 00:02:06,551 --> 00:02:14,557 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 53 00:02:15,144 --> 00:02:16,888 ♪ Hello, my baby, hello, my honey ♪ 54 00:02:16,912 --> 00:02:19,091 ♪ Hello, my baby girl ♪ 55 00:02:19,115 --> 00:02:21,159 ♪ Having a baby girl ♪ 56 00:02:21,183 --> 00:02:22,761 ♪ She's a baby and... ♪ 57 00:02:22,785 --> 00:02:25,230 ♪ And she's a girl ♪ 58 00:02:25,254 --> 00:02:26,765 I'll work on the lyrics. 59 00:02:28,924 --> 00:02:30,635 Hey, Jenny, hi. 60 00:02:30,659 --> 00:02:32,404 Hey, I got your message. What's up? 61 00:02:32,428 --> 00:02:35,104 Oh, big news. We're having a girl. 62 00:02:35,128 --> 00:02:36,808 We're having a girl! 63 00:02:36,832 --> 00:02:38,126 Can you believe it? 64 00:02:38,150 --> 00:02:40,779 Oh, congrats. I'm so happy for you. 65 00:02:40,803 --> 00:02:42,848 Well, I'm so happy for both of us. 66 00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:45,450 We're bringing a beautiful baby girl into the world, 67 00:02:45,474 --> 00:02:47,419 and even more important, it's not a boy. 68 00:02:47,443 --> 00:02:49,287 We're having a girl. 69 00:02:49,311 --> 00:02:52,591 Well... I mean, you're having a girl. 70 00:02:52,615 --> 00:02:54,960 What? No, we're doing this together. 71 00:02:54,984 --> 00:02:56,128 Well, not exactly. 72 00:02:56,152 --> 00:02:58,163 Uh, I'm providing a service. 73 00:02:58,187 --> 00:03:00,664 I'm like an Amazon Locker for your baby. 74 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,869 Come on. This is huge for us. 75 00:03:03,893 --> 00:03:06,438 At least let me take you to lunch to celebrate. 76 00:03:06,462 --> 00:03:07,439 What's your favorite restaurant? 77 00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:09,107 Café Figaro, but I'm actually 78 00:03:09,131 --> 00:03:10,308 meeting a guy for lunch here. 79 00:03:10,332 --> 00:03:12,711 - Oh, who's the guy? - Chase. 80 00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:13,812 I thought we didn't like him. 81 00:03:13,836 --> 00:03:16,448 You said he was a bad guy. I'm gonna meet you there. 82 00:03:16,472 --> 00:03:17,616 What? No. 83 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:18,782 What did I tell you about boundaries? 84 00:03:18,806 --> 00:03:20,552 You do not get involved with my exes, 85 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:23,770 and you do not demonstrate how to work a nursing bra. 86 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,058 I didn't know the pump was on. 87 00:03:26,082 --> 00:03:27,748 It was upsetting for both of us. 88 00:03:29,318 --> 00:03:30,796 Hold on. 89 00:03:30,820 --> 00:03:32,497 I got another call. 90 00:03:32,521 --> 00:03:34,299 - Hello. - Uh, Mr. Truman... 91 00:03:34,323 --> 00:03:36,368 Dante DiLorenzo. 92 00:03:36,392 --> 00:03:39,137 We met at my hair clinic a few months ago. 93 00:03:39,161 --> 00:03:40,906 Uh, this is a courtesy call 94 00:03:40,930 --> 00:03:43,341 to let you know that I have ended my marriage 95 00:03:43,365 --> 00:03:45,899 in order to live my truth as a gay man. 96 00:03:47,570 --> 00:03:49,181 Okay. 97 00:03:49,205 --> 00:03:50,916 Sorry, I'm new at this, 98 00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:53,485 but you did mark single on your consultation form. 99 00:03:53,509 --> 00:03:55,587 FYI, my ex-wife, Melinda, 100 00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:58,445 is pretty sure I'm a thirsty submissive. 101 00:04:00,015 --> 00:04:04,096 Okay, um, I'm... look, I'm really flattered, but... 102 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,498 Hey, no need to finish that sentence. 103 00:04:06,522 --> 00:04:07,999 You are right to reject me. 104 00:04:08,023 --> 00:04:10,202 As a straight man, Melinda said I was a 6, 105 00:04:10,226 --> 00:04:12,370 and as a gay man, I'm barely a 3 1/2. 106 00:04:12,394 --> 00:04:13,839 Thank you and have a nice day. 107 00:04:13,863 --> 00:04:15,006 No, no, no. Wait, wait. 108 00:04:15,030 --> 00:04:16,590 - Doctor. - Yes? 109 00:04:16,614 --> 00:04:17,576 How does lunch sound? 110 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:18,543 Great! 111 00:04:18,567 --> 00:04:20,846 Uh, how's Monday? I know a place in Midtown. 112 00:04:20,870 --> 00:04:23,515 Meet me at Café Figaro in 15 minutes. 113 00:04:23,539 --> 00:04:25,851 Yes, sir. 114 00:04:25,875 --> 00:04:28,553 Is it appropriate for me to say "I am aroused"? 115 00:04:28,577 --> 00:04:30,355 Save it for dessert. 116 00:04:32,715 --> 00:04:35,360 Hey, Mrs. Walker. What an exciting day. 117 00:04:35,384 --> 00:04:37,290 A shot at the title. 118 00:04:37,314 --> 00:04:39,197 So, do you have prepared remarks, 119 00:04:39,221 --> 00:04:40,705 an inspiring quote, 120 00:04:40,729 --> 00:04:42,467 a rousing call to action? 121 00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,202 Prepared what? Inspiring huh? 122 00:04:44,226 --> 00:04:46,186 A rousing call to ca...? 123 00:04:46,962 --> 00:04:48,573 What you say in this moment 124 00:04:48,597 --> 00:04:50,442 could be the difference between victory 125 00:04:50,466 --> 00:04:53,145 and pushing them from casual opioid abusers 126 00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:54,546 to full-blown addicts. 127 00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:58,049 Guys, Mrs. Walker has something to say. 128 00:04:58,073 --> 00:04:59,651 Honey, I've got nothing prepared. 129 00:04:59,675 --> 00:05:01,286 I barely know where I am right now. 130 00:05:01,310 --> 00:05:02,387 What do I say? 131 00:05:02,411 --> 00:05:03,388 Okay, I got it. 132 00:05:03,412 --> 00:05:04,623 Remember what you said to me 133 00:05:04,647 --> 00:05:06,791 before my very first commercial audition? 134 00:05:06,815 --> 00:05:09,427 You probably won't get it. Let's go to brunch. 135 00:05:09,451 --> 00:05:10,729 No, you said that to me 136 00:05:10,753 --> 00:05:13,498 before my audition for "Crazy Rich Asians." 137 00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,667 Which I didn't get because... 138 00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:17,384 I'm not rich. 139 00:05:18,327 --> 00:05:19,905 It was a DiGiorno ad, 140 00:05:19,929 --> 00:05:22,848 and I didn't think I could play a straight guy. 141 00:05:23,666 --> 00:05:26,011 That was a good speech. I'll do that one. 142 00:05:26,035 --> 00:05:27,312 Okay, good, and I'll score it 143 00:05:27,336 --> 00:05:29,247 with dramatic music using my phone. 144 00:05:29,271 --> 00:05:31,805 All right. Listen up. 145 00:05:32,942 --> 00:05:34,319 I know you're nervous. 146 00:05:34,343 --> 00:05:35,654 The other guys 147 00:05:35,678 --> 00:05:38,590 have got more talent, more experience, 148 00:05:38,614 --> 00:05:42,093 and let's face it... more testosterone than you do. 149 00:05:43,686 --> 00:05:47,666 But you have something they don't have. 150 00:05:47,690 --> 00:05:49,935 A lifetime 151 00:05:49,959 --> 00:05:53,253 of people telling you that you're not good enough. 152 00:05:53,629 --> 00:05:56,775 Today, you're gonna go out there and show them 153 00:05:56,799 --> 00:06:00,712 that in this country, being unqualified for something 154 00:06:00,736 --> 00:06:02,347 is no match 155 00:06:02,371 --> 00:06:05,450 for a totally unfounded sense of self-confidence. 156 00:06:05,474 --> 00:06:07,852 Now let me hear you say it. 157 00:06:07,876 --> 00:06:11,957 "It's not delivery. It's DiGiorno." 158 00:06:11,981 --> 00:06:14,993 It's not delivery? It's DiGiorno? 159 00:06:15,017 --> 00:06:17,128 Say it like you mean it. 160 00:06:17,152 --> 00:06:19,731 It's not delivery. It's DiGiorno. 161 00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:20,732 Say it! 162 00:06:20,756 --> 00:06:23,501 It's not delivery! It's DiGiorno! 163 00:06:23,525 --> 00:06:26,204 - Damn right it is! - Let's go! 164 00:06:35,838 --> 00:06:37,682 How did I not get that part? 165 00:06:37,706 --> 00:06:39,050 Oh, honey. 166 00:06:39,074 --> 00:06:40,485 Just hearing that speech 167 00:06:40,509 --> 00:06:42,320 took me back to the old Jack. 168 00:06:42,344 --> 00:06:43,464 Yeah. 169 00:06:43,488 --> 00:06:45,991 When I think about how pathetic I was. 170 00:06:46,015 --> 00:06:48,994 I get one text about an audition, 171 00:06:49,018 --> 00:06:51,663 be convinced it was gonna change my whole life, 172 00:06:51,687 --> 00:06:53,498 run around the room like a crazy person, 173 00:06:53,522 --> 00:06:55,367 flailing my arms in the air, 174 00:06:55,391 --> 00:06:57,902 and screech into a towel until I'd faint. 175 00:06:59,395 --> 00:07:01,740 Ah, thank God those days are behind us, huh? 176 00:07:01,764 --> 00:07:02,774 - Yeah. - I can't even... 177 00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:04,950 Oh, let's see what that is... 178 00:07:06,535 --> 00:07:08,880 Mayor Pete Buttigieg... I got an audition! 179 00:07:08,904 --> 00:07:10,582 I got an audition! 180 00:07:10,606 --> 00:07:12,617 Oh, my God! I got an audition! 181 00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,686 My whole life is about to change! 182 00:07:14,710 --> 00:07:16,454 I'm gonna be rich and famous, 183 00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,523 and everybody's gonna love me! 184 00:07:31,503 --> 00:07:33,515 What am I afraid of? 185 00:07:33,539 --> 00:07:35,940 Boy or girl? Win-win! 186 00:07:36,883 --> 00:07:39,693 But having a girl would be amazing. 187 00:07:40,413 --> 00:07:41,695 Oh. 188 00:07:42,543 --> 00:07:44,943 I could sing the song 189 00:07:44,968 --> 00:07:47,735 that my mom used to sing to me. Remember, Mom? 190 00:07:49,342 --> 00:07:53,277 ♪ My hope is that you're pretty in life ♪ 191 00:07:53,559 --> 00:07:56,894 ♪ You meet a man and become his wife ♪ 192 00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:01,679 ♪ Have his children, six or eight ♪ 193 00:08:02,302 --> 00:08:05,636 ♪ Eat small meals to maintain your weight ♪ 194 00:08:11,511 --> 00:08:14,060 What a jacked up song! 195 00:08:14,947 --> 00:08:17,926 No wonder my sisters are so messed up, right? 196 00:08:17,950 --> 00:08:22,044 Look, I don't want you to obsess over your looks. 197 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:23,579 Okay? 198 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:27,216 If your eyebrows look a little Frida Kahlo-ish, 199 00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,618 or you put too much lox spread 200 00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:31,119 on your second bagel, 201 00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:32,421 you go girl! 202 00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,497 I won't say a word. 203 00:08:35,721 --> 00:08:37,587 But I won't have to. 204 00:08:37,783 --> 00:08:39,094 Because you'll take one look at my face 205 00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:42,164 and you will see that I'm totally judging you. 206 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:46,168 And jealous that you can still metabolize bagels. 207 00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,909 That's why 208 00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:56,578 I would be the worst mother to a girl. 209 00:08:56,602 --> 00:08:58,480 Other than my mom. 210 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,441 And Maleficent. 211 00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,454 Normally I would order the fettuccine, 212 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,256 but now that I'm gay, 213 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,758 I need to be a bit more of a body fascist. 214 00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:13,595 So, um, a salad and we share an app? 215 00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,597 - Is that how it works? - That's an old stereotype. 216 00:09:15,621 --> 00:09:17,933 Gay men are not that militant about what we eat. 217 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:19,417 We do not need bread. 218 00:09:21,175 --> 00:09:22,337 I don't like that tension. 219 00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:25,882 I imagine I'll loosen up as I become more gay. 220 00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:30,034 Oh, no, sorry. I'm talking about that couple. 221 00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,714 Oh, right. I saw this on "Pose." 222 00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:35,183 We're gonna be bitchy queens. 223 00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:37,286 Like, uh, "The '90s called collect 224 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,720 "to talk about his hair 225 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,647 and he accepted the charges." 226 00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:43,825 Good first try, yeah, but, uh, 227 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:46,861 shorter, funnier, and more from this century. 228 00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:49,697 So much to process, being newly gay. 229 00:09:50,779 --> 00:09:52,467 Actually, I've known for 26 years, 230 00:09:52,491 --> 00:09:55,070 but Saturday, I tried on a pair of short-shorts, 231 00:09:55,094 --> 00:09:58,095 and said, "These legs belong on a man's shoulders." 232 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,419 Well, we all have our origin story. 233 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,071 But you could be a boy, couldn't you, 234 00:10:07,372 --> 00:10:09,372 gender balloon? 235 00:10:12,211 --> 00:10:14,945 My boy. 236 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,693 Little boys are so sweet, 237 00:10:17,717 --> 00:10:19,528 sensitive, and loving. 238 00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:22,731 You will be kind and gentle, 239 00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:25,100 and you won't be afraid to cry. 240 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:26,835 And we will always be close, 241 00:10:26,859 --> 00:10:28,837 because you're not gonna be one of those boys 242 00:10:28,861 --> 00:10:31,206 who's embarrassed to hang out with his mom 243 00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:32,708 after he hits puberty. 244 00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:35,132 And you'll still snuggle with me. 245 00:10:38,237 --> 00:10:41,383 Oh, my God, if I'm your mother, you're never gonna get laid! 246 00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:44,642 Oh, no! 247 00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,558 No, no. I can't... I can't. 248 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,027 I can't... I can't even look at you. 249 00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:55,586 I am setting you free. 250 00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:58,756 Good-bye gender balloon. 251 00:11:04,863 --> 00:11:06,496 Gender balloon? 252 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:11,246 Gender balloon! 253 00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:15,050 Come back! 254 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,085 Do we kiss now? 255 00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:18,720 I'm gonna say we're not there yet. 256 00:11:18,744 --> 00:11:20,656 - Okay. - Oh, look at him. 257 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,624 Eating off her plate, the mooch. 258 00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:24,660 You just know he's not paying for lunch. 259 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,763 Oh, are we not done tearing those people down yet? 260 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,754 Sorry, I know that woman. It's a long st... 261 00:11:31,174 --> 00:11:33,001 Where'd she go? 262 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:34,569 Did he make her cry? 263 00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:36,271 That is the last thing she needs right now. 264 00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:38,306 Should I go over there? Should I say something? 265 00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:40,175 - I wouldn't. - Jenny. 266 00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:43,311 Hey. What a surprise. 267 00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:45,280 This is... Look at us both here! 268 00:11:46,605 --> 00:11:48,350 What the hell, Will? You're spying on me? 269 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:50,276 Drama! 270 00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,454 Am... am I doing this correctly? 271 00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:55,115 Do I snap up? Do I do the Z? 272 00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:57,626 It's just one jazzy snap across the body. 273 00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:06,603 Sorry, I just got... got a little overwhelmed. 274 00:12:06,627 --> 00:12:10,173 The audition is for the revival of my favorite musical. 275 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:12,509 They're bringing back "Diddler on the Poof"? 276 00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:15,145 No. It's for "On the Town." 277 00:12:15,169 --> 00:12:17,981 I'm auditioning for the pivotal dual role 278 00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:21,284 of Sailor Number Five and Fourth Workman. 279 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,086 But, Kar, before you go back out there, 280 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,888 do you mind running it with me once real quick? 281 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,055 Sure, honey. Go ahead. 282 00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,049 Oh, my gosh, okay. Thank you so much. 283 00:12:28,074 --> 00:12:30,693 Um, it's the baritone harmony from the opening number. 284 00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,684 Ooh. 285 00:12:33,079 --> 00:12:34,879 Five, six, seven, eight. 286 00:12:36,530 --> 00:12:38,330 ♪ Ooh ♪ 287 00:12:41,034 --> 00:12:42,367 ♪ Diddy diddy ♪ 288 00:12:43,829 --> 00:12:45,729 ♪ Zap zap ♪ 289 00:12:48,842 --> 00:12:49,986 ♪ Ooh ♪ 290 00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:53,757 ♪ Ah ♪ 291 00:12:53,781 --> 00:12:55,380 ♪ Ahoy! ♪ 292 00:12:58,085 --> 00:12:59,159 Thank you. 293 00:12:59,183 --> 00:13:00,864 And then I'm silent for like 64 bars. 294 00:13:00,888 --> 00:13:03,333 A 3-run homer? Am I dreaming? 295 00:13:03,357 --> 00:13:05,835 I must be dreaming. Someone pinch me. 296 00:13:05,859 --> 00:13:07,771 That hurt so much. 297 00:13:07,795 --> 00:13:10,429 It's really happening! 298 00:13:13,267 --> 00:13:15,512 You better go out there, Kar. It's a big day. 299 00:13:15,536 --> 00:13:17,514 Ah, big day for both of us. 300 00:13:17,538 --> 00:13:20,817 - Your first Broadway audition. - It sure is. 301 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:22,175 Come on. I'll walk you out. 302 00:13:22,199 --> 00:13:23,742 Okay, great. 303 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,724 - You coming? - Yeah, I'm, uh, 304 00:13:27,748 --> 00:13:29,848 - right behind you. - Okay. 305 00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,214 Honey? 306 00:13:34,238 --> 00:13:36,450 Just don't know if I can do this. 307 00:13:36,474 --> 00:13:39,686 This is your chance to be a gay actor on Broadway. 308 00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:42,122 It's never been done. 309 00:13:42,146 --> 00:13:45,092 You could break the ass ceiling. 310 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,995 Maybe it's time to just face reality. 311 00:13:48,019 --> 00:13:49,730 I'm not a Broadway-caliber actor, 312 00:13:49,754 --> 00:13:51,987 and I never will be. 313 00:13:53,324 --> 00:13:55,202 Now, you listen to me. 314 00:13:55,226 --> 00:13:58,364 Our friendship is the most successful relationship 315 00:13:58,388 --> 00:14:01,032 of my life. And do you know why? 316 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,734 Because I threw that gun in the river for you? 317 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:07,381 Because when I'm down, 318 00:14:07,405 --> 00:14:09,278 you make me believe 319 00:14:09,302 --> 00:14:12,043 that something great is just around the corner. 320 00:14:13,711 --> 00:14:15,644 You're a dreamer, Jackie. 321 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,383 It's the very best part of you. 322 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:22,821 Come on. I'ma take you to that audition. 323 00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:24,556 But what about the game? 324 00:14:24,580 --> 00:14:26,080 Oh, honey. 325 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,683 You're way more important to me than some silly game. 326 00:14:30,184 --> 00:14:31,784 You're my poodle. 327 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:40,038 Kay, now. 328 00:14:40,062 --> 00:14:42,474 Hey, um, you wiped the fingerprints 329 00:14:42,498 --> 00:14:45,666 off that gun first, right? 330 00:14:46,077 --> 00:14:48,035 Oh, it doesn't matter. They're your prints. 331 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,749 Hello, uh, this is Grace Adler. 332 00:14:50,773 --> 00:14:52,351 I'm a patient of Dr. Saperstein's, 333 00:14:52,375 --> 00:14:55,727 and I'm calling to find out the gender of my baby. 334 00:14:55,751 --> 00:14:58,679 Yeah, you're gonna wanna check between the legs. 335 00:15:00,959 --> 00:15:02,812 If it's an outie, it's a boy. 336 00:15:02,836 --> 00:15:04,012 If it's an innie, it's a girl. 337 00:15:04,036 --> 00:15:05,524 And if it's both, 338 00:15:05,548 --> 00:15:07,472 please take a picture and send it to me. 339 00:15:07,496 --> 00:15:08,989 I've always wanted to see one of those. 340 00:15:10,503 --> 00:15:12,148 No, I'm pregnant. 341 00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:13,449 Okay, well then you're a girl. 342 00:15:13,473 --> 00:15:15,151 Does that help? 343 00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:17,682 Nurse? Just look it up. 344 00:15:17,707 --> 00:15:20,319 Okay, let's see. Grace Adler. 345 00:15:20,343 --> 00:15:22,955 Date of birth, 4/7/19. 346 00:15:22,979 --> 00:15:25,290 Wait. That can't be right. 347 00:15:25,314 --> 00:15:27,426 Just tell me the gender, please. 348 00:15:27,450 --> 00:15:28,961 It says the gender information 349 00:15:28,985 --> 00:15:30,629 has been sent to a balloon company. 350 00:15:30,653 --> 00:15:32,398 Oh, yeah, um... 351 00:15:32,422 --> 00:15:34,620 things didn't really work out with the balloon, 352 00:15:34,644 --> 00:15:36,668 and I threw it off the balcony. 353 00:15:36,692 --> 00:15:40,561 Well, let's hope things work out with the baby. 354 00:15:41,299 --> 00:15:43,675 Just tell me if I'm having a boy or a girl. 355 00:15:43,699 --> 00:15:45,310 "Ms. Adler requests 356 00:15:45,334 --> 00:15:47,946 not to disclose information over the phone." 357 00:15:47,970 --> 00:15:49,731 Yes, yes. I know. 358 00:15:49,755 --> 00:15:51,415 That's because I didn't think I'd be patient enough 359 00:15:51,439 --> 00:15:53,401 to wait for the balloon, but I was. 360 00:15:53,425 --> 00:15:55,976 But I... I just got scared. 361 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:59,143 You know, that big question mark on that balloon 362 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:01,445 just staring you right in the face, you know? 363 00:16:01,469 --> 00:16:03,281 Yeah, I get it. You're conflicted. 364 00:16:03,305 --> 00:16:06,138 It's like the first time I hooked up with my step-dad. 365 00:16:07,809 --> 00:16:10,220 The first time? 366 00:16:10,244 --> 00:16:12,389 Yeah, it was my 40th birthday, 367 00:16:12,413 --> 00:16:14,858 and my step-dad said I wasn't allowed 368 00:16:14,882 --> 00:16:16,493 to get my ears pierced. 369 00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:18,629 And I said, "I don't have to listen to you. 370 00:16:18,653 --> 00:16:20,920 You're not my real dad." 371 00:16:22,783 --> 00:16:26,118 From then on, it escalated into something really special. 372 00:16:27,595 --> 00:16:30,229 Uh, thanks for, um, 373 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:34,102 well, uh... I'm not really sure, just... 374 00:16:37,522 --> 00:16:39,299 Okay, I guess this is a sign 375 00:16:39,323 --> 00:16:42,402 that I'm... I'm not supposed to know. 376 00:16:45,916 --> 00:16:48,483 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 377 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,287 Gender balloon, you came back! 378 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:55,179 Don't you make me worry like that ever again! 379 00:16:56,374 --> 00:16:59,628 This is clearly a sign that I'm supposed to find out. 380 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,263 Okay. 381 00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,698 I'm gonna wait until Will gets home, 382 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,589 and then I'm gonna pop you. 383 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,318 And I don't care. 384 00:17:06,342 --> 00:17:07,886 Boy or girl, 385 00:17:07,910 --> 00:17:10,956 I'm gonna love you no matter what. 386 00:17:17,005 --> 00:17:18,850 Let's just get one thing really clear here. 387 00:17:18,874 --> 00:17:21,108 You and me? Business arrangement. 388 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,725 I'm really just your oven. 389 00:17:22,749 --> 00:17:25,495 But you're not. That's the problem. 390 00:17:25,519 --> 00:17:26,585 Please. 391 00:17:30,524 --> 00:17:32,602 I don't know how to keep things separate. 392 00:17:32,626 --> 00:17:35,271 You're doing this extraordinary thing for me. 393 00:17:35,295 --> 00:17:36,606 You're giving me something 394 00:17:36,630 --> 00:17:38,942 the world has told me for my entire life 395 00:17:38,966 --> 00:17:41,044 that I could never have. 396 00:17:41,068 --> 00:17:43,045 I have all this love for you and... 397 00:17:43,637 --> 00:17:45,048 I don't know what to do with it. 398 00:17:45,072 --> 00:17:46,916 I feel close to you too. 399 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,953 And I hate that because these relationships have an end date. 400 00:17:49,977 --> 00:17:51,621 I've done this before. 401 00:17:51,645 --> 00:17:53,790 I've gotten invested. I've gotten hurt. 402 00:17:53,814 --> 00:17:56,092 You're just gonna move on once the baby is born. 403 00:17:56,116 --> 00:17:58,061 Jenny, that is not who I am. 404 00:17:58,085 --> 00:18:01,920 For me, it'd be weird if you weren't in my life in some way. 405 00:18:02,990 --> 00:18:04,389 For me, too. 406 00:18:04,764 --> 00:18:08,232 Can't we just do this however we want? 407 00:18:09,329 --> 00:18:11,062 We could give it a try. 408 00:18:11,437 --> 00:18:13,037 I'd like that. 409 00:18:16,270 --> 00:18:18,281 Will, uh, I'm sorry, 410 00:18:18,305 --> 00:18:20,817 but I think there's a spark with Chase. 411 00:18:20,841 --> 00:18:24,009 He just asked me to co-sign a loan for him. 412 00:18:25,512 --> 00:18:28,549 But thank you for taking my gay cherry. 413 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:30,982 Terrific. Tell your friends. 414 00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,100 So I kissed the balloon, 415 00:18:37,124 --> 00:18:40,525 and you know how I haven't waxed my upper lip in a while? 416 00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:42,672 Well, it popped, 417 00:18:42,696 --> 00:18:45,008 and the glitter powder got all over me, 418 00:18:45,032 --> 00:18:46,309 but I wanted to surprise you. 419 00:18:46,333 --> 00:18:48,845 I am having... 420 00:18:48,869 --> 00:18:50,635 I got the part! 421 00:18:53,874 --> 00:18:56,252 You are looking at the third understudy 422 00:18:56,276 --> 00:18:59,122 for Sailor Number Five/Fourth Workman 423 00:18:59,146 --> 00:19:00,915 on Broadway. 424 00:19:01,832 --> 00:19:03,760 Jack, that is amazing! 425 00:19:03,784 --> 00:19:06,796 It just goes to show you if you kind of try 426 00:19:06,820 --> 00:19:10,033 for 38 years, good things happen. 427 00:19:10,057 --> 00:19:11,534 Congratulations! 428 00:19:11,558 --> 00:19:13,469 I have big news too. 429 00:19:13,493 --> 00:19:14,704 I am having... 430 00:19:14,728 --> 00:19:15,746 We did it! 431 00:19:15,770 --> 00:19:17,440 Bottom of the tenth, bases loaded, 432 00:19:17,464 --> 00:19:19,976 Rodriguez with a grand salami. 433 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,011 Who in this castle of queers 434 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:24,855 looks like they understand what that means? 435 00:19:26,974 --> 00:19:28,708 Well, did we win or lose? 436 00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:29,802 We won. 437 00:19:29,826 --> 00:19:32,021 We beat the Adirondack Mosquitoes. 438 00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,823 Good Lord, it's over. 439 00:19:33,847 --> 00:19:36,915 I am finally done with baseball! 440 00:19:37,884 --> 00:19:40,530 Well, until the new season starts. 441 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,166 Then there's recruiting, spring training, 442 00:19:43,190 --> 00:19:44,334 signing free agents... 443 00:19:44,358 --> 00:19:45,668 Can I say my thing now? 444 00:19:45,692 --> 00:19:47,962 I'm getting sweaty, and I'm out of muffins. 445 00:19:48,528 --> 00:19:50,540 Sorry, ghost. 446 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:52,508 It's just so exciting. 447 00:19:52,532 --> 00:19:54,077 Baseball never ends. 448 00:19:54,101 --> 00:19:55,578 Well, it does for me. 449 00:19:55,602 --> 00:19:58,848 I was just doing this to stick it to my ex. 450 00:19:58,872 --> 00:20:00,102 But, uh, 451 00:20:00,126 --> 00:20:03,419 you seem like you really care about this team 452 00:20:03,443 --> 00:20:06,578 and have nothing else to live for. 453 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:10,994 Do you want the Millstones? 454 00:20:11,018 --> 00:20:12,729 Oh, my God, yes. 455 00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,197 Mrs. Walker, 456 00:20:14,221 --> 00:20:17,500 you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. 457 00:20:17,524 --> 00:20:20,269 What are you talking about? She ruined your bakery. 458 00:20:20,293 --> 00:20:21,604 She took away your first name. 459 00:20:21,628 --> 00:20:22,939 She forced you to spend a night in the woods 460 00:20:22,963 --> 00:20:24,007 with a baby bear. 461 00:20:24,031 --> 00:20:25,074 And now she's making 462 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:27,098 all of my dreams come true. 463 00:20:28,235 --> 00:20:30,671 - Thanks, Mrs. Walker. - Come on. 464 00:20:31,204 --> 00:20:33,257 - You can call me Karen. - Oh. 465 00:20:33,907 --> 00:20:35,940 Nope, Mrs. Walker. 466 00:20:37,544 --> 00:20:41,124 Good luck, Amy, and, uh, don't forget 467 00:20:41,148 --> 00:20:43,114 you signed an NDA. 468 00:20:46,586 --> 00:20:49,023 Can I say my news now? 469 00:20:50,057 --> 00:20:51,656 Will. 470 00:20:58,265 --> 00:21:00,632 How dare you? 471 00:21:01,935 --> 00:21:03,646 If you got a part in Blue Man Group 472 00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:05,371 and are stealing my Broadway moment, 473 00:21:05,395 --> 00:21:07,395 I will never forget you. 474 00:21:08,783 --> 00:21:10,783 I'm having a boy. 475 00:21:11,502 --> 00:21:13,502 And? 476 00:21:13,950 --> 00:21:15,950 I am so happy.