1 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,008 Let's be honest. 2 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:52,511 Sometimes there is nothing harder in life 3 00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,846 than being happy for somebody else. 4 00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:59,851 Like lottery winners or extremely successful people who are 27. 5 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,522 And then, there's that hell on Earth 6 00:01:03,605 --> 00:01:06,024 that only your closest friends can inflict on you... 7 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:09,653 ...the baby shower. 8 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:13,949 You could not drag me to that thing if you put a grappling hook in my mouth. 9 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,534 Frankly, I think it's sad 10 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:18,328 the way she's using a child to validate her existence. 11 00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:22,249 Exactly. Why can't she just use sex and a nice cocktail like the rest of us? 12 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:24,001 I'm happy for her. I am! 13 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:28,338 If I see another crepe paper stork, I'm gonna rip its cardboard beak off. 14 00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:31,133 Can I ask you, would any baby shower bother you, 15 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,427 or is this one worse because it's Laney's? 16 00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,895 Laney Berlin. You can't really describe her. 17 00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:45,522 You just had to know her. 18 00:01:47,566 --> 00:01:50,235 Chances are eight years ago you probably did. 19 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:55,657 So help me, she fucks on my couch, she buys it. 20 00:01:56,575 --> 00:01:58,160 Isn't that how you got the couch from me? 21 00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,995 Hey, Laney, show us your tits! 22 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:03,707 Give it a rest! You guys have seen enough of my tits. 23 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,210 Tits! Tits! Tits! 24 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,548 Laney did A&R for a record label, 25 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,843 or, as she used to call it, sex with an expense account. 26 00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:19,014 Every time she went on a scouting trip, she came back with some hot new group 27 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:22,184 and a gynecological condition no one had ever heard of. 28 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:26,396 Those things make so many public appearances, they need a booking agent. 29 00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:33,904 Look at her, the poster girl for low self-esteem. 30 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:37,199 You know, I have low self-esteem, but I express it the healthy way, 31 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,159 by eating a box of Double Stuf Oreos. 32 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:40,577 She's so sad. 33 00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,456 Take it off! 34 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,753 Samantha and Laney had a long-standing rivalry. 35 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,880 Both wild, both sexy, 36 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,091 both incredibly insecure. 37 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:59,012 Two years ago, Laney did the most shocking thing of all. 38 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:02,224 She met a Wall Street investment banker, married him 39 00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,975 and moved to Connecticut. 40 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,894 That wasn't supposed to happen. 41 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,730 She was supposed to have sex with Sid Vicious and move to heroin. 42 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,443 Come on, you guys. It'll be fun. 43 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,404 We've never even been to visit her in Connecticut. 44 00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,030 Exactly. There's a reason for that. 45 00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,074 -Lyme disease? - That's another good one. 46 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,910 -But it's a baby shower. -No, it's a cult. 47 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,913 -A cult? What are you talking about? -Listen to me. 48 00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:27,416 They all think the same, dress the same 49 00:03:27,499 --> 00:03:30,585 and sacrifice themselves to the same cause... babies. 50 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:31,920 She's insane. 51 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,923 Hey! I've lost two sisters to the motherhood. 52 00:03:35,006 --> 00:03:36,341 I know what I'm talking about. 53 00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,969 I think we should go. It's the right thing to do. 54 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,345 Give me one good reason. 55 00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:44,224 Okay. You're driving down the road, you see a sign, 56 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,852 it says "two-headed snake," you pull over. 57 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,563 Wild Laney is having a baby shower. You pull over. 58 00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:52,482 She's got a point. It's the right thing to do. 59 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,944 Just imagine how fat she must be. 60 00:03:56,695 --> 00:04:00,490 As I penciled in the date, I noticed something missing. 61 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,411 In between the Versace show and dinner at Moomba, 62 00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,121 there it wasn't... 63 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,749 my period, four days late. 64 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:13,128 That Saturday, also known as "Seven Days Late", 65 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:16,298 four city girls set off to visit the country mice. 66 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,508 Are we there yet? 67 00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:23,638 I've already had two of these, so we're gonna be stopping a lot. 68 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:27,726 Hey, nice outfit. Is there gonna be some belly dancing at the shower? 69 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,352 Yeah, right after the gifts. 70 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:33,315 Oh, shit! I totally spaced. I forgot to buy her a present. 71 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:37,277 How tacky is it to give the mother-to-be a fistful of cash? 72 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,572 Don't worry about it. You can go in on mine. 73 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,074 You bought a pregnant woman a bottle of Scotch? 74 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:45,076 The invitation said BYOB. 75 00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:47,454 That meant "bring your own baby." 76 00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,915 -What did you get her? -Condoms. 77 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:54,503 -Seriously, what did you get her? -Seriously. They're pastel. 78 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:56,963 Hey, guys! Wait, wait! 79 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,466 Hey, guys, wait for me! 80 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:02,844 Oh, my God! Look at the size of that thing. 81 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,889 -We could drive that to Connecticut. -I'm putting my name on that card. 82 00:05:06,389 --> 00:05:09,100 All right. Go, go, go, go. 83 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,107 Does anybody know how to drive? 84 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:24,741 As I turned the midsize coupe onto Hollyhock Lane, 85 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,744 I was struck by how a place so filled with nature 86 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,372 could look so unnatural. 87 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,759 Oh, Toto, I don't think we're in Manhattan anymore. 88 00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,513 Oh, her house is beautiful! 89 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,391 Oh, and look at her dog! 90 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,227 Hey, boy! Come here, boy! 91 00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:53,937 Come on, boy! 92 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,610 Why didn't he come? 93 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,445 Invisible electric fencing. 94 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,906 It's the latest thing. My sister has it. 95 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,533 Okay! 96 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,326 Ready, girls? 97 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,453 Let's go. 98 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:18,169 Ooh, Charlotte sweetie, don't forget our gift. 99 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,352 -Look at you! You're huge! -I know. 100 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,188 Isn't it great? I can eat anything I want. Jealous? 101 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,900 Come on in. Come in. 102 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,987 Brigid, Roxanne, these are my friends from the city. 103 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,323 -Hi. -We didn't think you'd make it. 104 00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,867 We got lost. We took the wrong bridge. 105 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,995 Remember that feeling, like if you left Manhattan even for a second, 106 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,496 you'd fall off the edge of the earth? 107 00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:55,540 Oh, God, don't remind me. 108 00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:56,625 Hi! 109 00:06:56,708 --> 00:07:00,962 Oh, my God! It's the Bellini baby basket! 110 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,839 Oh, look, everybody! 111 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,842 -It's the Bellini baby basket! - Aw! 112 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:09,512 Speaking of Bellinis, I'm gonna have a big drink. 113 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,598 Jealous? 114 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,728 Is she still barhopping and bed-hopping? 115 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,356 It's so sad, isn't it? When that's all you have. 116 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:23,026 -Okay, this is Rebecca. -Hi. 117 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,195 -Susan... -Hello. 118 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,696 -Mindy. -Hey. 119 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,324 Don't get up, sweetheart. She's doing this in-vitro thing. 120 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,534 She's not supposed to move at all. 121 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:34,496 And that's Betsy and her boy Harry. 122 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,706 They're inseparable. They do everything together. 123 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,792 We call them our old married couple. 124 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,251 Except it's not really that funny 125 00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,379 now that Betsy and her husband are getting divorced. 126 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,172 Laney, we need you! 127 00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:50,387 So all I have to do to meet the ideal man is give birth to him. 128 00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:54,057 I love my son. Andy is 11 months old. 129 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:57,185 He is a god, and I tell him so every day. 130 00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:02,941 Thirty years from now, what do you think the chances are 131 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,652 that some woman's gonna be able to make Andy happy? 132 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,612 I'm gonna go with zero. 133 00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,948 Aw! 134 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,952 Oh, it's adorable! 135 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,912 Look at that Charlotte. 136 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,707 -I wish they made this in my size. 137 00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:21,209 I told you, it's a cult. We can't separate. 138 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:23,753 Once they isolate you from the herd, it's all over. 139 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,257 As I watched Laney tear open a terrycloth baby bib 140 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,259 with the same enthusiasm she once reserved 141 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,219 for tearing of frock stars' pants, 142 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,179 I couldn't help but wonder, 143 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:35,432 "Was I next?" 144 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:40,103 You know what? I have to pee. 145 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:44,024 If you're not back in five minutes, I'm coming after you. 146 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:50,071 The truth is, I needed to escape. 147 00:08:50,405 --> 00:08:52,615 The party had turned into a preview... 148 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,994 A preview of a life I didn't know if I was ready for. 149 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:06,421 Even seven months pregnant, Laney couldn't keep her clothes on. 150 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,841 Clearly, a part of the old Laney had survived. 151 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:14,846 But I wondered, what was still buried deep inside the mommies downstairs? 152 00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:18,058 Before I married my husband, I slept around with everybody. 153 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:21,061 Now I have an Internet lover. 154 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,354 No one knows. 155 00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:29,569 When I was senior vice-president, 212 people reported to me on a daily basis. 156 00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,613 Now I just yell at the gardener 157 00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,199 who doesn't understand a single word. 158 00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:39,162 I'm exactly the same. I love my life. 159 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,916 But every now and then, I can't help but think about... 160 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,085 Lisa. 161 00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:48,671 Sometimes I climb up into the kids' tree house 162 00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:50,548 with my Walkman, 163 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,300 light up a joint, 164 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,886 and listen to Peter Frampton. 165 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:13,696 There's a woman in there breast-feeding a child who can chew steak. 166 00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,698 You know how I feel about that? 167 00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:19,369 If you can ask for it, you're probably too old to have it. 168 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,704 Jeremy, no! 169 00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,457 I just realized, 170 00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:27,460 maybe it's maturity or the wisdom that comes with age, 171 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:31,923 but the witch in Hansel and Gretel, she's very misunderstood. 172 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:35,051 I mean, the woman builds her dream house 173 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,596 and these brats come along and start eating it. 174 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,269 I just have to tell you your home is beautiful. 175 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,730 Thank you. I know it's a big change. 176 00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:51,151 But at some point, you have to get serious and settle down. 177 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:54,028 I mean, life is not a Jacqueline Susann novel... 178 00:10:54,112 --> 00:10:57,407 four friends looking for life and love in the big city. 179 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:03,288 Stop it! You are not going to clean up at your own shower. 180 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:06,708 Yeah, relax, 'cause once little Todd or Shayla comes around, 181 00:11:06,791 --> 00:11:08,209 you'll never stop cleaning up. 182 00:11:08,293 --> 00:11:10,044 Shayla? Did you say Shayla? 183 00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:13,423 -It's so unique, isn't it? -It's so my name! 184 00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,302 -I thought your name was Charlotte. -No, it's not my name. 185 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:19,762 It's my name, my secret baby name 186 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:23,266 that I made up when I was 11 years old for my daughter when I had her. 187 00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:26,269 I told you. Don't tell me you don't remember. 188 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,396 No, I'm sorry, I really don't. 189 00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:32,358 A complete lie. She remembered. We all remembered. 190 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:35,486 Charlotte had made us all swear never to use it. 191 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,614 Anyway, I think my husband heard it somewhere else. 192 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,241 Really? Where? Because, I didn't tell him. 193 00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:43,203 I can't believe you're freaking out over a name. 194 00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:46,456 -I mean, you're not even pregnant. -That's not the point! 195 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,459 -What's going on? -She stole my baby name. 196 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:51,294 You bitch! 197 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:53,838 Let's go. 198 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,640 Beers and bar nuts at Flanagan's off Route Five 199 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:07,143 were the perfect antidote to Laney's House of Humiliation. 200 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:11,397 If I hadn't waited this long to have a baby, that name would be mine. 201 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:13,566 Oh, Charlotte, come on. You're still young. 202 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,401 You have plenty of time to have children. 203 00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,111 No. No, I don't. 204 00:12:17,195 --> 00:12:19,989 I don't want to be one of those 40-year-old moms. 205 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:24,410 -No offense. -I don't want to be one of them either. 206 00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:26,996 There are no frozen eggs in my freezer. 207 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:29,457 Was the bathroom clean? 208 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,167 What do you think? 209 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:36,589 This is why I hate baby showers. You always leave feeling depressed. 210 00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,508 Paddy, another round. 211 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,302 Well, I, for one, love my life. 212 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:44,681 And I will not be made to feel inadequate by all this baby talk. 213 00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:48,268 I spoke to a woman with a Master's in Finance. 214 00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:50,979 All she wanted to talk about was her Diaper Genie. 215 00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,273 Oh, come on, you guys. It doesn't have to be like that. 216 00:12:53,356 --> 00:12:55,316 You don't have to lose yourself to have a kid. 217 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,528 I know plenty of cool, hip mothers 218 00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:02,699 who live in the city and who still have great careers and stuff. 219 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,950 Who? 220 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:07,704 I'm late. I missed my period. 221 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:10,081 Paddy, honey, where are those beers? 222 00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:11,874 How late? 223 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:15,503 I don't know, just a few... Seven days. 224 00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:18,047 Oh, honey, gray area. 225 00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,550 True, you're in front of the firing squad, 226 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:22,593 but you haven't been shot. 227 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:26,639 -I was once ten days late. -Really? Were you having sex? 228 00:13:28,057 --> 00:13:29,058 No. 229 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,688 What are you going to do? You gonna tell Mr. Big? 230 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,816 No, I am not going to tell him until I know what I... 231 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,652 till I know how I... what... 232 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:44,490 No, I am not going to tell him 233 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,118 until I know how to finish this sentence. 234 00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,040 -What did I miss? - Nothing. 235 00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:57,545 That night, Charlotte got out her wish box 236 00:13:57,628 --> 00:14:00,923 where she kept reminders of all the things she hoped for in life... 237 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,718 a gift for Shayla, 238 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,306 a town house in the city, 239 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,641 a beach house in East Hampton, 240 00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:15,646 her dream man, 241 00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,277 her backup dream man. 242 00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:27,784 It's very strange when the life you never had flashes before your eyes. 243 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,746 Carrie Held Hostage: Day Eight. 244 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,414 Miranda and I went shopping. 245 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:37,418 I'm on total ovary overload. Which kind do I get? 246 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:40,296 Here. This one's on sale, half off. 247 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:44,467 Sweetie, I just spent $395 on a pair of open-toed Gucci's last week. 248 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,803 -This is not the place to be frugal. -All right. 249 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,721 Well, what about this one? 250 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,473 Oh, First Response! I remember First Response. 251 00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,559 I had a very reassuring moment once with First Response. 252 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,896 Here's hoping. 253 00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,150 What if I am? 254 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:03,861 If you am, you am. 255 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:06,531 I don't think I'd be very good at this. 256 00:15:07,156 --> 00:15:09,367 I mean, am I maternal? 257 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,661 Um... 258 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:12,954 You know, when I was a girl, 259 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:15,581 I left my favorite baby doll out in the rain for four days. 260 00:15:15,665 --> 00:15:17,792 Her face peeled off. That can't be good. 261 00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:18,751 Yeah, I mean, but if you... 262 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,711 I shaved my Barbie's head when I was mad at her. 263 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,381 When I was little, I took a rubber band 264 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,258 and put it around my dog, Pepper's snout. 265 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,302 -What? -God. 266 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,851 Can you picture it, us with... 267 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,018 Kids? 268 00:15:37,103 --> 00:15:39,939 -Babies. -I'll probably end up with five. 269 00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:43,276 Five hours and two packs of gum later, 270 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:45,319 I decided I couldn't take the test 271 00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:48,865 till I knew exactly how I felt about the results, either way. 272 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,166 -Hello? Oh, hi! -It's Laney. 273 00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,333 I just wanted to tell you 274 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,294 it was so great to see you guys the other day. 275 00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:05,882 I know I was a big bitch, but you gotta know my hormones are going wild. 276 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:10,011 The truth is, Laney's hormones have been going wild since she was ten. 277 00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:13,723 Seeing you made me remember how much fun we used to have. 278 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,726 Yeah, we did. It's amazing how much time has gone by. 279 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,060 Tell me about it. 280 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:21,063 But I miss us. I really do. 281 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:23,900 -We should get together more often. -Mm-hmm. 282 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,821 But I mean, we should get together, not just say we're going to, 283 00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:30,823 but really do it. 284 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,409 Absolutely. Listen, I've gotta go. I'm running late. 285 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,619 Where are you off to? 286 00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:37,163 Actually, Samantha's having one of her parties. 287 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,664 -She is? -Yeah. 288 00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:42,752 Oh, man! See, that's the kind of thing. I love Samantha's parties. 289 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:45,838 -Why didn't you tell me? -Next time. I promise, all right? 290 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:47,715 Okay, bye. 291 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:52,345 Faced with her own inadequacies, 292 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:55,014 Samantha did something only Samantha could do. 293 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:57,350 She threw an I-don't-have-a-baby shower 294 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,435 to let everyone know she was fabulous. 295 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,354 Great to see you! 296 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,523 Oh! I don't have a baby! 297 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,233 Everybody drink! 298 00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,111 -Are you having fun? -Yes I am, 299 00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,030 but not quite as much fun as Miranda. 300 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,950 Still convinced that marriage plus baby equals death, 301 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,785 Miranda chose life... 302 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,496 also known as Ed, Samantha's accountant. 303 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:21,082 If she fucks on that couch, she buys it. 304 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:31,300 Hey, you guys, the entertainment has arrived! 305 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:37,557 -What are you doing here? -What I do best... partying! 306 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,393 -Maybe we better sit down. -Fuck no! Where's the bar? 307 00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:41,644 Somebody get me a drink! 308 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,688 I don't know, Laney. You think that's a good idea? 309 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:47,316 Fuck yeah. I'm due any day. What's one little drink gonna matter? 310 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,110 Maybe it'll help me go into labor. 311 00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:54,156 She gives birth on that couch, she buys it. 312 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:57,159 What are you doing here? What is she doing here? 313 00:17:57,243 --> 00:17:59,120 -I missed you guys. - Us? 314 00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,664 The pathetic, live-for-the-moment New York single girls 315 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,874 who think that life is a Jacqueline Susann novel? 316 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:07,878 Look, I'm sure you get asked this all the time, but what is your problem? 317 00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:12,341 My problem? Just that I had a dream and you killed it, in a nutshell. 318 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,218 Really? Well, then you're lucky, 319 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,304 because at least you know what happened to your dream. 320 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,556 I have absolutely no idea what happened to mine. 321 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:20,308 Hi, Laney! 322 00:18:20,850 --> 00:18:23,853 I spent the next hour keeping Charlotte away from Laney, 323 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,438 and Laney away from the vodka. 324 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,024 Well, well, well. Look who came up for air. 325 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:31,068 He's a good kisser and he's gonna do my taxes for free. 326 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:33,446 Excuse me. I'm sorry. Hey, Carrie. 327 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:34,697 Hey, Jonathan. 328 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,658 Listen, I've been talking to your friend Charlotte. She's great. 329 00:18:37,742 --> 00:18:40,828 -Is she seeing anybody? -Wide open. 330 00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,122 -Just don't mention the name Shayla. 331 00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:44,874 -I'm sorry? -Nothing. 332 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:47,585 It's a private joke. Go forth and date. 333 00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:50,254 His name was Jonathan Bix. 334 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,340 He was a trader at Bear Stearns 335 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:55,051 and had just closed escrow on a house in the Hamptons. 336 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,639 Charlotte suddenly realized all was not lost. 337 00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,265 As she sipped her beer, 338 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:04,644 she mentally Scotch-taped her dream house back together again. 339 00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,689 This party sucks. 340 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:12,443 Laney, maybe we should think about getting you home, all right? 341 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,904 No, I don't wanna go back there. 342 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,950 Hey, you fuckers. Who wants to see my tits? 343 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:23,496 I'll take a look. 344 00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,915 Laney, come on. Come back. Don't do this. 345 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,167 Relax! It'll be fun! 346 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,836 All right, look. Now we're gonna have a party. 347 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,423 Pregnant lady showing her tits! 348 00:19:37,385 --> 00:19:38,594 Oh, my God. 349 00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:41,013 This is at once so sad 350 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:44,809 and the most fabulous validation I've ever gotten in my life. 351 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:56,570 This is weird. 352 00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,615 I... I don't... 353 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,368 I don't think I can do this. 354 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:04,995 No biggie. 355 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,252 Despite her best efforts to run free, 356 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,463 it appeared that Laney Berlin's invisible electric fence 357 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,215 stretched all the way to Manhattan. 358 00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:21,887 No, no, I know I can do it. Just give me one more chance. 359 00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:25,349 Laney, it's not who you are anymore. It's all right. 360 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:31,147 I didn't know that was gonna happen. Nobody told me that was gonna happen. 361 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,858 I mean, somebody should warn you. 362 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:36,819 It's all right. 363 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:42,366 One day you're gonna wake up, and you're not gonna recognize yourself. 364 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,668 Can you take her to Connecticut? 365 00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:07,308 I spent the next entire day sitting on a park bench watching children play. 366 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:13,439 If I had to, could I do this? 367 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,234 Would I be any good? 368 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,572 Would I somehow manage to stay me? 369 00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:33,417 Hello. Oh, my! 370 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:36,879 Oh, sorry. 371 00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:39,799 That's okay. She's adorable. 372 00:21:39,882 --> 00:21:41,550 Yeah, most of the time. 373 00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:44,386 You wanna go home? Yeah, yeah. 374 00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,138 -Bye. -Bye-bye. 375 00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:48,724 Bye! 376 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:53,729 On the way home... 377 00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:55,940 I got my period.