1 00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:51,093 New York City is all about sex. 2 00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:54,304 People getting it. People trying to get it. 3 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,557 And people who can't get it. 4 00:00:56,932 --> 00:01:00,394 No wonder the city never sleeps. It's too busy trying to get laid. 5 00:01:00,477 --> 00:01:04,523 But if you ever actually do manage to get someone in bed, 6 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,108 the real fun begins. 7 00:01:06,191 --> 00:01:07,067 Mmm. 8 00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:11,071 -That's the kind with nuts in it. -Mm-hmm 9 00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:13,282 -We love our nuts. -Mm-hmm. 10 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,332 After sleeping together for many weeks, 11 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:26,336 Mr. Big and I had gotten comfortable enough to really sleep together. 12 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:32,843 It was nice. 13 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:35,846 It was the way I'd always dreamed it could be. 14 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:38,515 -Good morning. -Morning. 15 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,402 Was that you? 16 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:54,031 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 17 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,742 I think it might be worse under there. 18 00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:59,745 Shut up. Shut up! 19 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,333 I hadn't dressed so quickly 20 00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:07,044 since the time I was caught in the boy's dorm sophomore year. 21 00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,420 Wait. Don't you want some coffee? 22 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,881 Oh, gosh. I'm late for a thing. 23 00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:15,093 Oh, my God. I was mortified. 24 00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:18,263 I didn't call him the rest of the day. 25 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:19,890 I tried to lose myself in work, 26 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,184 but every time I stopped for a second to think... 27 00:02:23,310 --> 00:02:24,227 Oh, God. 28 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,897 I'd relive my hell all over again. 29 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:31,610 The next day, I realized how childish I was behaving. 30 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:35,405 I decided to stop avoiding the situation and take the grown-up approach, 31 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,907 complete and utter denial. 32 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,660 Oh, so, I saw the Met is opening a new Goya exhibit. 33 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,161 Do you want to go this Saturday? 34 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:42,954 Sure. 35 00:02:44,373 --> 00:02:46,750 Could you get me some more duck sauce, please? 36 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,377 I most certainly can. 37 00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:54,341 Oh, and then we have to stop and see the Renoirs. I love the Renoirs. 38 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,634 Okay. 39 00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:03,725 There's a moment in every relationship 40 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,769 where romance gives way to reality. 41 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:25,455 You know... You know what? 42 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:26,790 I'm exhausted. 43 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:31,461 You mind if we just call it a night? Okay? 44 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,296 Sure. 45 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,007 Good night. 46 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:37,801 'Night. 47 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:44,015 That was the first night we slept together and didn't make love. 48 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,894 By the middle of the next week, it was three times in a row, 49 00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:49,396 and I was beginning to worry. 50 00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,440 Three times? Try three months. 51 00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,024 -No. -Yes. 52 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:57,320 Now would be a good time to wipe that horrified look off your face. 53 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,197 I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm sorry. 54 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,783 I just... Wow, I didn't know. Where have I been? 55 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,410 You've been having sex. 56 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:07,998 I've been at Blockbuster renting videos. It's tragic. 57 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,584 I'm like two rentals away from a free pound of Gummy Bears. 58 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:12,335 Oh, relax. You're just in a dry spell. 59 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,337 I can't believe you said that. 60 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:15,964 You're all freaked out about three times. 61 00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,425 -I'm talking three months. -Yeah, but that's different. 62 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,010 Not doing it when you're with someone 63 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,554 means much more than not doing it when you're not with someone. 64 00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:24,139 What are you worried about? 65 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,933 I thought you said everything felt really comfortable and great. 66 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,519 -Yeah, well, maybe too comfortable. -What do you mean? 67 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,356 I farted. 68 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:36,610 I farted in front of my boyfriend. 69 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:39,905 -And? -And we're no longer having sex. 70 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:42,574 And he thinks of me as one of the boys. 71 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,993 And I'm gonna have to move to another city 72 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:48,330 where the shame of this won't follow me. 73 00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:50,081 You farted. You're human. 74 00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:52,125 I don't want him to know that. 75 00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:55,128 I mean, he's this perfect guy. 76 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:58,089 You know, he walks around his perfect apartment with his perfect suit. 77 00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:01,009 He's just perfect, perfect, perfect, and I'm the girl who farts. 78 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:03,887 -No wonder we're not having sex. -You're insane! 79 00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:06,473 It's been three times. It's perfectly normal. 80 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:08,809 Says who? I mean... 81 00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:11,561 say it's not the... 82 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,688 then what else is going on? 83 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,233 I mean, is it normal to be in the same bed and not do it? 84 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:19,236 I guess it depends on what's normal for you. 85 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:20,904 Oh, God. I hate that. 86 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,948 Who am I to know what's normal? 87 00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,700 I haven't dated in a hundred years. I don't have a clue. 88 00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,912 Well, three months is not normal for me. 89 00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:32,415 One month was interesting. Two months was numbing. 90 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:35,752 Three months, I am going out of my mind. 91 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:39,256 There are 1.3 million single men in New York, 92 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,383 1.8 million single women. 93 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:44,177 And of these more than three million people, 94 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:46,847 about 12 think they're having enough sex. 95 00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:49,432 How often is normal? 96 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:53,061 I have to masturbate three times a day just to make it through. 97 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,939 Some people take coffee breaks, I take jerk-off breaks. 98 00:05:56,356 --> 00:06:00,110 They say the average 33-year-old woman has sex 3.5 times a week. 99 00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,653 I'd like to know who that woman is. 100 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:04,406 You know, my wife and I haven't had sex since the baby was born. 101 00:06:05,323 --> 00:06:07,242 The baby's applying to Yale next fall. 102 00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,288 Once... One time a day... 103 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,416 but two time on very special day. 104 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:19,796 Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get. 105 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,632 Even in the plow position, I could count on Samantha 106 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,843 for amazing sexual clarity. 107 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,387 Very good. Let's move on to downward facing dog. 108 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:28,763 Woof. 109 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:32,976 With him, I could do it every hour on the hour. 110 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,813 Do you think it means something if Big and I are sleeping together, 111 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,815 but we're not sleeping together? 112 00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:41,526 -The truth? -And when have I ever wanted that? 113 00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,028 Yeah, okay, tell me. 114 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,821 I think there's trouble. I mean... 115 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:47,657 sex is a barometer for what's going on in the relationship. 116 00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:50,952 Well, I wasn't going to tell you this, but... 117 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:54,748 I farted. 118 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:59,794 -Then move your mat away. -Not now. I did it in front of Big. 119 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,672 -Huge mistake. -You think? 120 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,842 It wasn't a choice. I'm human. It happened. 121 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:09,679 No, honey, you're a woman. And men don't like women to be human. 122 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,765 We aren't supposed to fart, douche, 123 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:14,184 use tampons or have hair in places we shouldn't. 124 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:18,021 I mean, hell, a guy once broke up with me because I missed a bikini wax. 125 00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:19,105 I knew it. 126 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:22,651 This is a watershed relationship moment I'm never gonna be able to erase. 127 00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:23,777 Oh, sure you will. 128 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:27,072 Just go over there and fuck his brains out and he'll forget all about it. 129 00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:30,158 Men aren't that complicated. They're kind of like plants. 130 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,952 Concentrate. Quiet your insides. 131 00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:33,036 Now he tells me. 132 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:35,664 Roll over on your backs. Take goddess pose. 133 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,417 Let your breathing work with you. 134 00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,712 -In... 135 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,589 -And out... 136 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:46,174 In. 137 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,344 Out. 138 00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:54,265 Would you like to go for a coffee sometime? 139 00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:56,893 Forty-five minutes and three animal positions later, 140 00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,396 Samantha and Siddhartha were sipping green tea 141 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,439 at a nearby health food restaurant. 142 00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,024 Tofu or not tofu. 143 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:06,277 I always feel so amazing after yoga. 144 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:11,241 My body feels so open, so alive, so ready for anything. 145 00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:12,993 Samantha. 146 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:14,869 Yes? 147 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,121 I'm celibate. 148 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,833 I practice brahmacharya, Tantric celibacy. 149 00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,335 I gave up sex three years ago. 150 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,045 My God. Why? 151 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:28,967 Or more importantly, why? Didn't you like it? 152 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:32,262 Oh, I loved it. I'd have sex morning, noon and nights. 153 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:34,764 Sometimes three women a day, and I was always ready for more. 154 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:37,308 -Now you're just being cruel. -No. 155 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,227 It was all ego. 156 00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,731 And where I am now is so much better than sex. 157 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:46,026 Oh, come on, honey. Nothing's better than sex. 158 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,986 Think about really good foreplay. 159 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,614 Your sexual energy's just starting to awaken. 160 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,451 Now imagine a three-year foreplay 161 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:59,205 where all that sexual energy is coursing through your body, 162 00:08:59,497 --> 00:09:00,957 but it never gets released. 163 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,835 It just recycles. 164 00:09:04,419 --> 00:09:07,130 Builds... Rises... 165 00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:13,428 Until your entire being is humming with that electric sexual energy. 166 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,097 My apartment's just around the corner. 167 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:20,518 The only thing hotter than sex is not having sex. 168 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:24,147 Amazingly, talking dirty about not having sex 169 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:28,777 was the most sexually deviant act Samantha had participated in for months. 170 00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:30,987 The next night when I met Charlotte for dinner, 171 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,156 I had reached my own transcendental state. 172 00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:35,241 Pure Mr. Big obsession. 173 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,118 Okay, um... 174 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,120 The first time he was tired. 175 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:42,248 And the next two times, I... 176 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:47,879 I don't know. I don't know. It's bad, isn't it? 177 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,548 Carrie, relax. There's nothing wrong with your relationship. 178 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:53,635 -Well, that's not all. I... -What? 179 00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:56,971 I couldn't bring myself to tell her. 180 00:09:57,222 --> 00:09:59,099 I was afraid she'd go spontaneously deaf. 181 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,768 I'm sorry. What were you saying? 182 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:05,313 People put too much emphasis on the importance of sex. 183 00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,816 It's not the most important thing in a relationship. 184 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:08,733 Right. 185 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:10,610 Take Kevin and I, for example. 186 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:13,113 We've been going out for weeks, and we still haven't done it. 187 00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:16,324 I mean, we touch and cuddle, 188 00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:19,369 but he's sweet, and he respects my boundaries. 189 00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:22,038 And I like it. It makes it special. 190 00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,040 Oh, there he is. 191 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,416 Meeting a friend's new boyfriend 192 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,669 for the first time is always a little tense. 193 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,712 What if you don't like him? What if he doesn't like you? 194 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:31,756 Kevin, this is my good friend Carrie. 195 00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,259 -Hey, Carrie. -Hi. 196 00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:35,969 What if you've already slept with him? 197 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:40,431 -You two know each other. -Well, kind of. 198 00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:41,724 We used to go out. 199 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,311 Well, kind of used to go out. 200 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,564 You two used to go out? 201 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,731 -That's so funny. 202 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,067 -Isn't that funny? -That's my office. 203 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,069 I gotta take this. I'll be right back. 204 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,449 Okay, when? 205 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,537 -Um, three years ago? -Three years. I can live with that. 206 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,414 Serious? 207 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,083 -No. -Good. Why'd you break up? 208 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,919 You know, we were in different places and I... 209 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:13,339 Carrie, we don't have time for diplomacy. Just tell me. 210 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,883 He's a sex maniac. 211 00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,684 When Charlotte discovered that Kevin had tucked his libido away 212 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:28,605 for her comfort level, she was even more moved by his restraint. 213 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,983 I want you to know how much I appreciate your patience. 214 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,320 You've been so patient with me. 215 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,447 Shows how much you really care. 216 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,699 And all that waiting 217 00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:42,744 is gonna make it all the more special for us now. 218 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:51,711 There's only gonna be one stop. Thanks. 219 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,937 I don't think this is gonna work. 220 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,273 -Why? Is it me? - No, you're great. 221 00:12:12,607 --> 00:12:14,442 I'm just not that sexual a guy. 222 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,488 It's me. I know it's me. 223 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:22,659 Look, Carrie told me that you were quite sexual. 224 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:26,162 In fact, I believe she used the word "maniac." 225 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:27,830 That was before. 226 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,668 -Before what? -Prozac. 227 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:35,171 -Prozac. -Yeah. I used to be such a mess. 228 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,341 Mr. Mood Swing. It's a total lifesaver. 229 00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,511 The only downside is, is it takes the air out of my tires. 230 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,722 After a while, it's kind of like a taffy pull. 231 00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:48,726 It's okay. Don't worry about it. 232 00:12:49,686 --> 00:12:52,772 I don't. I mean, I wish I could say I felt worse, but... 233 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:56,025 To tell you the truth, these days, nothing gets me down. 234 00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,027 You want to watch a movie? 235 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,867 Terrified of going to Mr. Big's 236 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:07,537 for what could become another platonic sleepover, 237 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:11,291 I paced my apartment and tried not to think about our lack of sex when... 238 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:15,378 There they were, my new neighbors, 239 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,380 Mr. And Mrs. Get-it-on. 240 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:21,676 A couple so obviously into each other there was only one thing to do... 241 00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:23,469 watch. 242 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,684 Then something wonderful happened. 243 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,145 My desire overcame my fear. 244 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,022 Hi, it's me. 245 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,857 Is it okay if I come over? 246 00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:37,650 Okay. 247 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:41,237 Meanwhile, across town at the corner of Nirvana and West Third, 248 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:44,741 Siddhartha was helping Samantha along her newfound path. 249 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,660 "Blocks are connection to our inner life 250 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,287 and true identities." 251 00:13:49,954 --> 00:13:52,248 -You're hard. -I know. 252 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,792 "Our addictions and attachments 253 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,919 are a way to block our spiritual hunger 254 00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:00,089 through unhealthy and dependent ways." 255 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,467 -You're still hard. -It'll go down. 256 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,218 So can I. 257 00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:16,647 I showed up at his apartment feeling sexy and confident. 258 00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:19,525 Wearing my secret-weapon skirt that really hugged my hips, 259 00:14:19,817 --> 00:14:20,777 I was ready to go. 260 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,070 He didn't have a prayer. 261 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,243 Very nice. Come on in. I'm watching the fight. 262 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:38,503 Baby. 263 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:51,057 Carrie, come on. Let me watch this. 264 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,854 Oh, man! 265 00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:02,360 Jesus, Carrie! Come on! 266 00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:05,405 Would you knock it the fuck off? I'm trying to watch this fight. 267 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,989 Fine. I'll leave. 268 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:09,992 What is wrong with you? Why are you acting so nuts? 269 00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:11,411 Well, maybe I'm not perfect. 270 00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:14,038 Maybe I don't fit into your perfect, you know, life 271 00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,999 with your perfect apartment and your perfect pay-per-view fight. 272 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,251 Maybe I should leave. 273 00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,339 I stood there and waited for the obligatory 274 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,675 he's-coming-to-stop-me ten seconds. 275 00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:27,135 He didn't. 276 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:32,014 By the time I got home, I was sure he'd left an apology on my voice mail. 277 00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,892 You have no new messages in your mailbox. 278 00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:36,936 I didn't sleep very well that night, 279 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,021 but I wasn't the only one. 280 00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:43,151 After a night of spiritual reading with her hunky guru, 281 00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:47,280 Samantha began to feel things she hadn't felt in a very long time, 282 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:49,198 frustrated and horny. 283 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,742 She decided it was time to put an end to her suffering. 284 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:55,455 But just as she reached the place Krishna once called the gateway to life, 285 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,999 she turned back and decided not to enter. 286 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,501 After all, she'd come this far. 287 00:16:00,585 --> 00:16:02,587 She could continue not to come at all. 288 00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,424 In an effort to get her mind off sex, 289 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,427 Miranda had rented a five-hour Danish documentary 290 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:10,970 on the Nuremberg trial. 291 00:16:11,262 --> 00:16:12,680 It actually worked until... 292 00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:13,806 Hey, gorgeous! 293 00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:15,975 Why don't you quick drop this? 294 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,478 Hey, she's thinking about it. 295 00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:20,813 Where you going so fast? 296 00:16:21,063 --> 00:16:24,233 I got what you want, I got what you need. 297 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,528 Like every woman consumed with a relationship problem, 298 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,490 I needed a project to keep my mind from obsessing 299 00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:32,492 and my hands from dialing his number. 300 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,081 Three months and one week. 301 00:16:39,457 --> 00:16:42,043 Miranda needed to keep her hands busy as well. 302 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,462 -Did he call? - Nope. 303 00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:46,881 And it's been two days. 304 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:50,801 Nice color. Ecru? 305 00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,220 Eggshell. 306 00:16:54,138 --> 00:16:57,225 Well, I think it's over. 307 00:16:58,226 --> 00:16:59,644 I should never have farted. 308 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,438 Jesus, Carrie! That's it. I've heard enough about the fart. 309 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:06,025 -It's not the fucking fart. -I know it's not the fucking fart. 310 00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,444 I just... I think I'm in love with him 311 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,739 and I'm terrified that's he's gonna leave me because I'm not perfect. 312 00:17:12,657 --> 00:17:13,783 All right. 313 00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:17,703 Let's just put the roller down and go in the other room and talk, huh? 314 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,706 Sex has stopped. He hasn't called. 315 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,501 What if he never calls and three weeks from now 316 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,087 I pick up The New York Times and I read that he's married 317 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:30,258 some perfect little woman who never passes gas under his $500 sheets. 318 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:32,134 When did you get so obsessed with being perfect? 319 00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,679 I don't know. It's something about him. I mean, you should see me around him. 320 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:38,307 I'm not like me. I'm like "together Carrie." 321 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:43,062 You know, I wear little outfits... "sexy Carrie," and "casual Carrie." 322 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:46,816 Sometimes I catch myself actually posing. It's exhausting. 323 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,317 Well then, stop. 324 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,028 Why don't you show him more of this Carrie? She's pretty great. 325 00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:52,405 What if he doesn't like her? 326 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:55,199 Miranda? 327 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,201 Oh, my God! 328 00:17:58,744 --> 00:17:59,829 Look at them. 329 00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:01,080 Oh, wow! 330 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,874 I had no idea they did an afternoon show. 331 00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,544 When a show is good, word gets around. 332 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:10,131 There we were, the '90s version of matinee ladies. 333 00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:11,841 Who said the theater was dead. 334 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,635 Samantha, I cannot believe that you would give this up on purpose. 335 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:17,680 - Actually, I hardly miss it. - How long has it been? 336 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,725 -A hundred years. -It never goes down, does it? 337 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:23,311 - Look, it's still... -Hard. 338 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,896 -Yeah. -Gummy Bear, please. 339 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,986 -Give me the fucking candy. -Hey, snapping over Gummy Bears 340 00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,280 might be a sign that celibacy's not for you. 341 00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,449 All I can say is that my big payoff better be worth it. 342 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,367 Samantha, I don't understand you. 343 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:41,203 There are people starving out there and you're fasting. 344 00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:43,414 Stop complaining. At least you can take care of yourself. 345 00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,416 I'm way beyond that point. 346 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,460 Besides, I think I've given myself carpal tunnel. 347 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:49,795 Sure, it's all fun until you get to know each other. 348 00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,759 That move right there, that's what they're famous for. 349 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,888 It's been an hour. How can that guy still be... 350 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:00,264 Hard. 351 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,142 I have got to try this again with Kevin. 352 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,477 I mean, we really like each other. 353 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,812 That's got to be stronger than a drug, right? 354 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,898 I'm warning you, ladies, 355 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:12,485 if I make it to four months, I'm humping one of you. 356 00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:16,864 Oh, my God. 357 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:18,783 I hate them. 358 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:22,495 After the second show, each of us went on with our Saturdays. 359 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:25,581 Miranda went to get a movie and another pound of Gummy Bears. 360 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,750 Hey, it's my sweetheart! 361 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,503 You're looking good, baby. Good enough to eat. 362 00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:33,506 Where are you goin', doll? I got what you want. 363 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:36,133 -I got what you need. -You talking to me? 364 00:19:36,217 --> 00:19:38,219 We got a live one, boys. 365 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:41,347 You got what I want? You got what I need? 366 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:45,017 Well, what I want is to get laid. What I need is to get laid. 367 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:48,562 -I need is to get laid. -Take it easy, lady. I'm married. 368 00:19:48,896 --> 00:19:52,441 All talk and no action, huh? What a oaf one! 369 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,444 Yeah, she's something else. 370 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,989 Samantha decided to channel her frustration at yoga. 371 00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,116 Good. 372 00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,786 Now release and breathe. 373 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,915 Unless you're planning to move those hands down, get them off me. 374 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,209 Exhale and turn around into asana. 375 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:15,131 She had reached the end of her path and her patience. 376 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,258 -Psst. 377 00:20:20,428 --> 00:20:22,680 Breathe. Ease your lower back. 378 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:27,351 Wanna fuck? 379 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:31,564 Wanna fuck? 380 00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:33,399 Yeah. 381 00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:40,239 Samantha spent the rest of the afternoon 382 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,116 having multiple yo-gasms. 383 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:46,996 Later that night, Charlotte was determined to prove she was stronger 384 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:49,915 than selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors. 385 00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:52,042 Isn't your arm getting tired? 386 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:54,545 No, I think it's starting to work. 387 00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:55,880 Charlotte. 388 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,341 It's not, and I'm beginning to chafe. 389 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:01,051 Oh. 390 00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,145 -You okay? -Yeah. 391 00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:14,231 I've just never been in this situation before. 392 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,109 Do you think you'll ever... 393 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:21,947 -Never mind. -What, think I'll ever go off it? 394 00:21:22,239 --> 00:21:23,908 -Yeah. -Nope. 395 00:21:24,575 --> 00:21:25,826 Not even for me? 396 00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:28,078 Nope. 397 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:32,750 Come on. Wouldn't you rather be with a guy who's kind and giving 398 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,752 and not that interested in sex, 399 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:37,755 than an unstable, oversexed prick who only wants to get laid? 400 00:21:42,843 --> 00:21:43,969 Nope. 401 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:45,429 Once Charlotte realized 402 00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,473 she couldn't get what she thought she didn't want, 403 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,975 she couldn't imagine going on without it. 404 00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:54,688 Saturday night's dinner came and went with no call from Big. 405 00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:56,816 My life was suddenly shit, 406 00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,901 but my cabinets were looking fabulous. 407 00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:03,614 -Who is it? - Me. 408 00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:12,623 -Surprise. -Yeah. 409 00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:19,046 Wow! 410 00:22:22,842 --> 00:22:25,719 -What's all this? -I'm painting. 411 00:22:25,803 --> 00:22:27,096 I can see that. 412 00:22:28,222 --> 00:22:29,515 Why didn't you call? 413 00:22:31,308 --> 00:22:32,726 Why didn't you call? 414 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:38,899 So this is where you live. 415 00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:44,113 About time you invited me up. 416 00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:45,948 I didn't invite you. 417 00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:47,867 I know. 418 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,919 It's nice. Very nice. 419 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:00,546 No, it's not. It's a mess. 420 00:23:02,214 --> 00:23:04,341 The floors need to be stripped and the curtains are... 421 00:23:06,176 --> 00:23:07,803 I want to change a lot of it. 422 00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:10,556 I don't know. 423 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:13,642 I like it. 424 00:23:20,441 --> 00:23:21,734 I like it the way it is. 425 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,738 What was that all about the other night? 426 00:23:26,697 --> 00:23:27,781 That was me... 427 00:23:29,158 --> 00:23:30,284 having a meltdown. 428 00:23:30,618 --> 00:23:31,619 Okay. 429 00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:40,961 Nice paint. 430 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:44,340 -Eggshell? -Yes. 431 00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:45,841 Mm-hmm. 432 00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:54,892 Did you know that there's a couple humping outside of your window? 433 00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:58,520 Really? Oh, I never noticed. 434 00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:03,067 All I could think was why aren't we having sex? 435 00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:06,236 Is this normal? What's wrong? 436 00:24:06,570 --> 00:24:07,863 Where are we going? 437 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:08,948 Oh, hell. 438 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,451 We can do better than that. 439 00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:18,999 And then he kissed me. 440 00:24:21,126 --> 00:24:25,172 Odd, how normal can sometimes feel so uncomfortable.