1 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:53,804 In life, sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroads. 2 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:59,226 In New York, that crossroads tends to be busy, and very loud. 3 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,269 Wait! 4 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:05,023 Sorry, you're waiting. 5 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,818 I know, I'm ten minutes late. 6 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,320 Well, I'm three weeks late. 7 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,322 -What? -I'm pregnant. 8 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:13,240 Spare change? 9 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:17,077 -Uh, I'm sorry, I only have a... -I got it. 10 00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,788 You are beautiful ladies. 11 00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,583 You'll make some man very happy. 12 00:01:24,293 --> 00:01:26,378 You're pregnant? Really? 13 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,964 No, I just thought it might be a fun thing to say. 14 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,425 -Fuck. -You're sure? 15 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:35,137 I took three EPT tests and I'm coming from my doctor. 16 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:36,972 Which is why I called you to meet me way down here 17 00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:39,474 on the corner of 23rd and "I'm In Hell." 18 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:41,143 When have you been having sex? 19 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,478 I did not mean that the way it sounds. 20 00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:44,730 Steve. 21 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,025 You're sleeping with Steve? 22 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,444 Slept. Once. Singular. 23 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:53,196 It was a mercy fuck. I felt bad he only had one ball. 24 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,866 -Well, I guess that's all he needed. -No kidding. 25 00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,160 Apparently, the other one was purely ornamental. 26 00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:01,038 God, I'm such a fucking idiot! Why didn't I use a condom? 27 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,331 You really didn't use a-- 28 00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:05,250 He only has one ball, and I have a lazy ovary. 29 00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,711 In what twisted world does that create a baby? 30 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:08,795 Yeah, I see your point. 31 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,756 It's like the Special Olympics of conception. 32 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:12,257 Have you told him? 33 00:02:12,924 --> 00:02:14,635 Why would I tell him? I'm not having it. 34 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:15,677 Right. 35 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,181 Is it okay not to tell him? 36 00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:21,266 I don't know. Is it? 37 00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:25,103 While Miranda took a pregnant pause, 38 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:29,816 Charlotte got an unpleasant surprise of her own... 39 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:33,820 -her period. 40 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:39,034 Hey, look, Charlotte brought party favors. 41 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,369 I'm never getting pregnant. 42 00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:43,288 Would you please move the Tampax away from my toast points. 43 00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:44,581 When I think of all those women 44 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:47,042 every day, getting pregnant, getting pregnant, getting pregnant. 45 00:02:47,125 --> 00:02:48,752 I've been trying for five months, nothing. 46 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,462 Charlotte, honey, don't worry. You'll get pregnant. 47 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:51,630 When? 48 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:55,092 A woman of 35 has only a 30% chance of conceiving. 49 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,927 And then the numbers just go down from there. 50 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,053 Numbers can be wrong. 51 00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,429 If it's so hard to get pregnant, 52 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,890 how do you account for the number of crying children on planes? 53 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,975 -This is not a laughing matter. 54 00:03:04,059 --> 00:03:04,976 Oh, I'm sorry, 55 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:07,729 I thought this was brunch, not a fertility seminar. 56 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:09,481 Okay, let's all just... 57 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:12,484 Charlotte, should we get you a menu? 58 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,403 It's me. 59 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:15,987 I probably can't have a baby. 60 00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:18,657 -Don't say that. -It's true. 61 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,284 Trey checked out fine. It's me, I know it's me. 62 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,537 -It's not you. -Then what is it? 63 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,373 I keep hearing all these stories about people getting pregnant 64 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:27,791 just looking at each other. 65 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,962 And I do it on my head, on my side, on my back, 66 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,547 on the top, on the bottom, 67 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,132 on the top, then the bottom... 68 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,925 Now this is brunch talk. 69 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,970 Do you know how many times Trey and I have done it without a condom? 70 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,430 -Seventy-three. -Mmm! 71 00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:44,808 Have you any idea how much perfectly fine semen that is? 72 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,769 No. Samantha, rough estimate? 73 00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,189 Enough for me to know in my bones that it's me. 74 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,774 And the big joke is 75 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:54,860 I spent my entire 20s worried that I'd get pregnant. 76 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,820 I could've been screwing everything in sight. 77 00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:57,988 Coulda, woulda, shoulda. 78 00:03:58,071 --> 00:04:00,198 I should've been so lucky to get pregnant by mistake. 79 00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:05,620 Okay, what's with the eyes, Miranda? 80 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:06,955 Nothing. 81 00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,167 You're just sitting there, you haven't said a word, 82 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,377 -and you're making "the eyes." -It's nothing. 83 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,838 -You think I'm pathetic or something? -It's not about you. 84 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,548 What's not about me? 85 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,342 I cannot think of a worse time to tell you this. 86 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,677 Oh, man. 87 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:23,472 What the F is going on? 88 00:04:23,555 --> 00:04:24,681 I'm pregnant. 89 00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,978 -Steve. -Mercy fuck? 90 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:34,065 He only has one ball, it isn't fair! 91 00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,151 Char, honey, take a breath. Here, honey, have a sip of water. 92 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,527 How could you do this to me? 93 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,653 To you? 94 00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:41,031 Okay, stop, please. Stop. 95 00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:42,199 What are you gonna do? 96 00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,748 You're not even going to consider having it? 97 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:52,542 This is not in my plans right now, 98 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:55,712 and I really feel awful talking about this in front of you. 99 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,090 -Then I'll leave. -No. 100 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,218 You can just sit here and have your abortion talk. 101 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,844 Come on, Charlotte, please, sit down. 102 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,015 Oh. 103 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:10,560 She didn't mean it. All she can think about right now is babies. 104 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,438 -She makes me sound so-- -Don't do that. 105 00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:17,859 Okay, it's less than a desirable situation, but it happens. 106 00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,028 -We've all been there. -I haven't. 107 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,948 I've had two. Carrie, how many have you had? 108 00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:24,449 Uh, one. 109 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,702 Oh, right, that waiter at TGI Friday's. 110 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,789 TGI Friday's? Please, can we not make this worse than it was? 111 00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,416 He was a waiter at the Saloon, okay? 112 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:38,630 And let me remind you, in 1988, the Saloon was very happening. 113 00:05:38,713 --> 00:05:39,923 Apparently. 114 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,054 You ready yet? We're approaching the 20-minute mark. 115 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,931 -Let's go. -Okay. 116 00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:54,563 Hey... 117 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:57,649 -What? -Nothing. 118 00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:08,118 What? 119 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:12,622 Are you cuckoo now? 120 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,709 Are you going cuckoo on me? 121 00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,172 Okay, I wanna tell you something, 122 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,133 but if I tell you, 123 00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,510 you have to swear you're not gonna tell anyone. 124 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,097 -I promise. -Here. 125 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,642 -Swear on Chanel. -I swear. 126 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,814 Okay, Miranda's pregnant and she's having an abortion. 127 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,149 Oh, man. 128 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,901 And Charlotte's devastated, you know, 129 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,819 because she's been trying to get pregnant. 130 00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,947 She's been having a really hard time, and it's just bad all around. 131 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:48,158 All right, come here, come here, come here. 132 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:53,079 Well, if Miranda doesn't want the kid, can't she just give it to Charlotte? 133 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,249 No, it's not like a sweater. 134 00:06:57,542 --> 00:06:59,294 Oh, man. 135 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:02,213 Who's the guy? 136 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,801 See, this is the reason that you can't tell anyone. 137 00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:11,556 It's Steve. And he doesn't know. 138 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,391 Oh, come on! 139 00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:15,310 What? 140 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,854 I feel like you just trapped me. 141 00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,607 Well, I'm sorry, I had to tell you. 142 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:24,778 It's all I could think about. Look, I can't even pick a shoe. 143 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,030 She's gonna do it without telling him. 144 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,748 -What? -What? It's his baby too. 145 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,710 Well, technically, it's not gonna be anybody's baby. 146 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:43,588 So, what? It's all her decision? 147 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,967 Seems like the guy gets the shit end of the stick. 148 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:49,886 Well... 149 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:54,724 I don't know. You know, it's a tough situation. I don't know. 150 00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,268 You ever had one? 151 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,063 No. 152 00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:01,773 God, no. 153 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:04,609 Thank God. 154 00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,154 -Look at that one, isn't it adorable? -Which one? 155 00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,490 The red one in the middle. I love it. 156 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:14,119 The Birkin bag? Really? That's not even your style. 157 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:17,414 Oh, honey, it's not so much the style as what carrying it means. 158 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,958 -It means you're out 4,000 bucks. -Exactly. 159 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:23,086 When I'm tooling around town with that bag, I'll know I've made it. 160 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,255 Okay, let's go, the visiting hours are over. 161 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,257 Bye-bye, Birkin. 162 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:33,221 -I'm going with Miranda when she goes. -Oh, good. 163 00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,432 I was alone and it was awful. 164 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,183 Why didn't you ask somebody to go with you? 165 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:40,311 It's not the kind of thing you list on the dorm activities board. 166 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,272 I lied to Aidan about having one. 167 00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:45,108 I don't know, it just kind of came out. 168 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:47,861 And the thing is, I think he seemed relieved. 169 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,989 That he could still think of me in a certain way. 170 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,741 I don't know why I lied to him. 171 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,910 Maybe you still want him to think of you in a certain way. 172 00:08:56,995 --> 00:09:00,123 It happened. You made the right decision at the time. 173 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,834 Yeah, I know, but I never told the guy or anything. 174 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,295 Look, you can't go down that road. 175 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,297 Did you really want to have a child 176 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,799 a guy who serves burgers on roller skates? 177 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,219 -I could have a 13-year-old child. -Oh, yes, you could. 178 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,388 -But then I wouldn't have known you. -Mmm. 179 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,681 Can you imagine it? 180 00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,225 No, I can't. 181 00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,311 I should've told Aidan. 182 00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:23,396 Ah, coulda, woulda, shoulda. 183 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,068 So many roads, so many detours. 184 00:09:28,610 --> 00:09:31,571 So many choices, so many mistakes. 185 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,407 As we drive along this road called life, 186 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:37,452 occasionally, a gal will find herself a little lost. 187 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:38,953 And when that happens, 188 00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,831 I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, 189 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,750 buckle up, and just keep going. 190 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,294 As we speed along this endless road 191 00:09:46,377 --> 00:09:49,798 to the destination called "Who We Hope To Be, " 192 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,050 I can't help but whine: 193 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:53,635 Are we there yet? 194 00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,179 Ow. 195 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,515 For a publicist like Samantha, 196 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,726 the road to success was paved with stars. 197 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:04,062 Case in point, lunch with Lucy Liu. 198 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:06,189 I had no idea you were from New York. 199 00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,900 I'm a total New York City girl from Queens. 200 00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:12,237 That's amazing. I just don't get Queens from you. 201 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,447 Look, bitch, don't start with me, right? 202 00:10:14,531 --> 00:10:16,908 That's good. 203 00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,161 Okay, here's what I need. 204 00:10:20,245 --> 00:10:22,247 -I'm looking for someone from New York. -Mmm-hmm. 205 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:25,416 My last PR guy was really hooked up, but he was a total liar. 206 00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:27,669 -Ugh! -I'm a big girl, just tell me the truth. 207 00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:28,837 I can take it, you know. 208 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,799 -You want the truth? -Mmm-hmm. 209 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,802 Your last Golden Globe dress was a disaster. 210 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,430 Thank you, that's what I thought, 211 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,558 but all these queens kept telling me it was fierce. 212 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,269 A girl from Queens should know better than to listen to queens. 213 00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,770 -Right? -Right. 214 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,190 Oh, another thing. I was a waitress, and, um... 215 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,695 25%, very nice. 216 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,655 When I'm representing you, 217 00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,032 it's class all the way. 218 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,290 -It's 4,000. -I know. 219 00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,458 -And there's a waiting list. -I assumed. 220 00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:08,543 Five years. 221 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,255 -For a bag? -It's not a bag. 222 00:11:12,839 --> 00:11:13,882 It's a Birkin. 223 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:18,178 Samantha was never one for waiting in line. 224 00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:20,180 So she cut right to the front. 225 00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:23,558 Oh, it's not for me, it's for Lucy Liu. 226 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,226 I'm her press rep, 227 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:28,730 and I would love for her to carry this bag to a premiere next week. 228 00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:30,398 It would be photographed to death. 229 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,276 Does, um, that make a difference? 230 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:37,822 Let me get Francesca, our press rep, on the phone. 231 00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:39,949 Would you? How very helpful. 232 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,540 And over on Park Avenue, 233 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,877 Charlotte decided she couldn't wait any longer, either. 234 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,671 Yes, I'm calling to make an appointment with Dr. Peck. 235 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,965 Um... 236 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,634 We're having some... 237 00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,844 I'm having some difficulty. 238 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,806 I think I need some fertility testing. 239 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:07,685 Yes, I would, uh, like to make an appointment with Dr. Gen ya. 240 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,480 I need to come in for a, uh... 241 00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,525 procedure. I'm pregnant. And I... 242 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,570 need not to be. 243 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:21,741 A couple of days later, Samantha went down a road she shouldn't. 244 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:32,961 Hello. Francesca? Samantha Jones. 245 00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:36,506 Question. How the fuck long does Lucy Liu have to wait for that Birkin? 246 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,384 Well, if they're so hard to get, maybe you can explain 247 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,970 why I just saw a fucking nobody in a track suit 248 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:44,222 carrying the exact one we want. 249 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:48,685 Lucy Liu is a big, big fucking star, and she wants that bag. 250 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:52,146 Is "Hermès" French for "We take our good old fucking time"? 251 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,399 Thank you so much. 252 00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:05,159 -Hey. 253 00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:06,536 Oh, my God. 254 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,039 -You scared me. -Sorry. 255 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,042 It's not a breaking and entering. We were playing basketball 256 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,711 and your guy needed to take a leak. 257 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,713 -Oh. - Be right out. 258 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,339 -So, what's new? -Nothing. 259 00:13:20,550 --> 00:13:22,468 Absolutely nothing. 260 00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:29,183 So how are things? 261 00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:30,518 Uh... 262 00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,521 The bar's busting my hump, but it's pretty good. Yeah. 263 00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:35,648 So, hey, how's Miranda? Is she okay? 264 00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,400 What do you mean? 265 00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,360 I've been calling, she don't call me back. 266 00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:40,695 Oh, she's great. 267 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,282 -Yeah? -Mmm-hmm. 268 00:13:44,949 --> 00:13:47,785 -She must be pretty busy then, I guess. -Uh... 269 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:54,709 Hey, pudding. 270 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,212 -Did you tell him? -What? 271 00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:01,090 -About Miranda and the... -No. 272 00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,967 -Are you sure? -Yeah. 273 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,635 He's asking about Miranda. 274 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,722 -He always asks about Miranda. -You told him, didn't you? 275 00:14:08,389 --> 00:14:09,974 -No. -Listen, Aidan, it's okay. 276 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:12,060 I can't keep secrets either. Obviously. 277 00:14:12,143 --> 00:14:13,311 I didn't tell him anything. 278 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,230 -He's looking at me funny. -That's the way he looks at everyone. 279 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,315 Are you sure? 280 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,150 I didn't tell him, but I think he deserves to know. 281 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,402 -What does that mean? -I don't agree with what she's doing. 282 00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:24,072 Well, it doesn't really have anything to do with you, does it? 283 00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:28,159 Hey, chief, you told me. I'd just as soon not know any of it. 284 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:33,081 Listen, sometimes you get in situations that are hard... 285 00:14:33,164 --> 00:14:34,916 We should not be having this conversation 286 00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:37,794 with him out in the next room. So just go, go. 287 00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,798 Go, because he's probably listening. 288 00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,843 -What's bugging you? -Nothing. 289 00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:49,597 Hey, let's go. 290 00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,310 Hey, tell Miranda I said hi. 291 00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,978 -Okay. -Okay. 292 00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:05,405 I'm on a wait list. My regular doctor doesn't do them. 293 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:08,157 "No judgement." That's the way she said it. 294 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:11,494 Like it was all one word. "I-don't-perform-them-no-judgement." 295 00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:14,705 So I'm waiting to see if this other doctor can fit me in. 296 00:15:14,789 --> 00:15:16,499 I want to get it over with as soon as possible. 297 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,210 Have you thought any more about telling Steve? 298 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,130 No, why would I tell Steve? 299 00:15:22,213 --> 00:15:25,049 I don't know, maybe he has a right to know. No judgement. 300 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,175 Sounds like judgement. 301 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:31,848 -I told Aidan. -Carrie! 302 00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,517 -I had to. -He's gonna tell Steve. 303 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,811 He will not. I made him swear on Chanel. 304 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:39,147 Well, as long as he took the oath of fabric. 305 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:42,608 He seemed to have pretty strong opinions about the guy having a right to know. 306 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:46,112 You know, I didn't think this could get any worse but, ha-ha, it has. 307 00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,823 Now I'm supposed to think about what I'm doing to Steve? 308 00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:50,700 -Well, wouldn't you want to know? -No! 309 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:53,035 I don't even want to know, and it's me. 310 00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,707 Did you tell the guy from TGI Friday's? 311 00:15:58,374 --> 00:16:00,460 Jesus, it was the Saloon. 312 00:16:00,543 --> 00:16:02,587 -And no, I didn't. -Hmm. 313 00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:06,090 It was completely different. I was 22. We barely knew each other. 314 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:09,844 We slept together once, after a drunken night at the Tunnel. 315 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:10,970 The Tunnel? 316 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:12,597 No judgement. 317 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,183 I was thinking maybe I should've told him. 318 00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:18,060 There's no way I'm telling Steve. He'd want me to have it. 319 00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:24,192 You know what? You're right. 320 00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:27,153 Forget my life. I'm having Steve's baby. 321 00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:29,113 Pizza for everybody! 322 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:35,119 Well, everything looks just fine. 323 00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:37,663 Looks good. 324 00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:42,084 Ooh. Nope. Sorry, spoke too soon. 325 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,127 What is it? 326 00:16:43,211 --> 00:16:45,546 Your blood and mucus tests show 327 00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:48,257 extremely elevated anti-sperm antibodies. 328 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,592 Is that bad? 329 00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,303 It just means it's gonna be that much more difficult for you 330 00:16:52,386 --> 00:16:53,471 to conceive naturally. 331 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:54,847 How much more difficult? 332 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:56,974 I'd give it a 15% shot. 333 00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:03,439 I would not suggest you wait much longer before you explore in vitro. 334 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:08,694 After they learned about their detour on the road to Baby, 335 00:17:08,778 --> 00:17:13,616 Trey had to go back to the hospital, and Charlotte decided to walk home. 336 00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:18,120 Charlotte? Charlotte? 337 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:20,164 Oh, hi. 338 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:21,791 "Oh, hi"? 339 00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:24,794 -Are you kidding me? -What do you mean? 340 00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,338 You saw me, turned, and walked the other way. 341 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,590 I didn't see you, I just changed direction. 342 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:31,133 I'm allowed to change direction. 343 00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,426 First you don't return my calls, 344 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:34,637 and then you pretend not to see me on the street? 345 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:38,307 I just... I really can't see you right now. 346 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:41,310 Well, you have to see me because I'm standing right here. 347 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:45,147 I'm sorry about this whole thing, but it's not a personal attack on you. 348 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,524 It was a mistake. 349 00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,901 Miranda, I really don't want to talk about this. 350 00:17:48,985 --> 00:17:51,028 This is hard for me too, you know? 351 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:54,407 And it doesn't make it any easier worrying that you hate me 352 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,367 because you think you can't get pregnant. 353 00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,785 I can't get pregnant. 354 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,204 If I can, you can. 355 00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,582 No, I can't. 356 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,627 I just came from the doctor. Here. 357 00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,880 My body is attacking Trey's sperm. 358 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:13,843 15% chance. 15% chance of ever having a baby. 359 00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:20,308 -Is it okay if I go now? -Sure. 360 00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:23,561 -You want me to walk with you? -No. 361 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,731 -I just want to be alone, okay? -Okay. 362 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,650 But I'm just gonna walk a little way behind you 363 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:31,736 in case you change your mind and want to talk. 364 00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:32,903 No, I'm okay. 365 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,910 Charlotte walked all the way home. 366 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,371 And even though she never turned back, 367 00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:45,625 she knew Miranda was behind her. 368 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,340 It's Lucy Liu. 369 00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:55,676 Hi. 370 00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,511 Sorry I'm late. 371 00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:00,014 Oh, don't worry about it. 372 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,432 Look what I got. 373 00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:04,602 Some nice man dropped it off at my hotel this morning. 374 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,937 -Hermès, it's a-- -Birkin. 375 00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:10,358 Well, it's not really my style, but, hey, it's a free bag. 376 00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:14,945 It's not exactly free. See, I paid for it. That's my bag. 377 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:17,823 -What do you mean? -There was a five-year waiting list. 378 00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,992 Blah, blah, blah, I used your name. 379 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:21,369 "Blah, blah, blah"? 380 00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:24,497 Cutting to the chase, yes. 381 00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,376 As long as we're cutting to the chase, 382 00:19:28,459 --> 00:19:30,211 the PR rep from Hermès called 383 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:33,297 and told me my rep yelled "fuck" at her at least 12 times. 384 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:35,716 Is that your idea of class? 385 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:39,220 That is absurd. I have never used the F-word. 386 00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:40,721 Who the fuck are you kidding? 387 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:42,973 Yes, I called to check on the bag. 388 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:47,770 Oh, you know what? I was on my cell. 389 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,605 Maybe she picked up some crazy person. 390 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:54,985 One time, I got this scary woman screaming from somewhere in New Jersey. 391 00:19:58,781 --> 00:20:00,991 The only thing worse than a liar is a bad liar. 392 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:03,119 I won't be needing your services anymore. 393 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,454 I am telling you the truth. 394 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:08,499 If I was as bad an actress as you, 395 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:11,043 I'd still be serving onion rings at TGI Friday's. 396 00:20:13,087 --> 00:20:14,839 That's my fucking Birkin! 397 00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:18,968 And there went Lucy Liu, all 'cause of a Lucy lie. 398 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,096 Fuck, fuck, fuck! 399 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,730 Meanwhile, I found myself back at a familiar crossroads, 400 00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:34,567 the corner of Columbus and 1988. 401 00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:39,196 It was amazing. It hadn't changed at all. 402 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,324 Same table, same menu. 403 00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,411 Same waiter. 404 00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,331 Burger, medium well. Calamari. 405 00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,250 I couldn't believe it. 406 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:55,171 His roller skates were gone and his Tony Danza Taxi hair was thinner 407 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,840 -but it was definitely Chad. -All right, enjoy. 408 00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:02,011 "Drunken-Night-at-Tunnel" Chad. 409 00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,138 You ready to order? 410 00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:07,016 Hello there. 411 00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:10,060 Our soups of the day are lentil and tortilla. 412 00:21:10,561 --> 00:21:12,897 -Did anyone get your drink order? -Chad? 413 00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:16,108 -Yeah? -It's me, Carrie. 414 00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:18,736 Bradshaw. 415 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:22,531 We met like 13 years ago. 416 00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:25,868 I came in a few times, half lemonade, half iced tea? 417 00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:31,957 And then there was that, uh, 418 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:34,084 night at The Tunnel. 419 00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:35,169 Tunnel? 420 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,006 I never went to Tunnel. 421 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:41,050 Yeah, you went to Tunnel. 422 00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,886 Jeez, Sherry, I'm sorry, I don't remember. 423 00:21:43,969 --> 00:21:46,472 -It's Carrie. -Right. Carrie. 424 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,601 Um... 425 00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:55,564 Uh, I'll take the lentil soup, I guess, and some crackers. 426 00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:57,399 Crackers come with. 427 00:21:59,693 --> 00:22:00,528 Hey. 428 00:22:02,947 --> 00:22:04,865 Was I at least smart enough to try something? 429 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:07,701 No. 430 00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:10,079 You were the perfect gentleman. 431 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:16,210 I stayed in 1988 just long enough to realize 432 00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:17,962 I had made the right decision. 433 00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:21,215 Even though I was sitting in the same seat, 434 00:22:21,298 --> 00:22:23,634 I was in a totally different place. 435 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:37,982 Do you suffer from headaches? Allergies? Diabetes? 436 00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:39,900 No, no, no. 437 00:22:40,818 --> 00:22:42,862 Bad judgement with old boyfriends? Yes. 438 00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:44,989 I think I can write that in. 439 00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:50,578 Does it hurt? 440 00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:53,622 Not really. 441 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:57,167 Mostly it's just unpleasant. 442 00:22:57,251 --> 00:22:58,252 Mmm. 443 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:00,170 What about after? 444 00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:02,840 How long until I feel back to normal? 445 00:23:03,424 --> 00:23:04,633 You're gonna have to ask them. 446 00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:06,635 How long until you felt back to normal? 447 00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:08,596 Any day now. 448 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:16,145 I'm doing the right thing. 449 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:20,274 -Right? -Miranda, I cannot answer that. 450 00:23:20,357 --> 00:23:22,109 -What do you think? -What do you think? 451 00:23:22,192 --> 00:23:24,236 -I think, what do you think? -You wanna go one more round? 452 00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:28,574 Charlotte only has a 15% chance. She's really trying. 453 00:23:29,325 --> 00:23:34,038 What if I wake up at 43, and find that my one semi-decent ovary gave up 454 00:23:34,121 --> 00:23:35,164 and I can't have kids? 455 00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:38,042 -Forty-three? -That's my scary age. 456 00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:40,920 Mine's 45. 457 00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:47,051 This happened against all the odds. 458 00:23:48,052 --> 00:23:51,972 My stupid egg found its way to the three sperm he had left. 459 00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:55,476 Oh, God, Carrie. 460 00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,605 Is this my baby? 461 00:24:01,357 --> 00:24:02,900 I mean, what am I waiting for? 462 00:24:02,983 --> 00:24:05,319 Sweetie, do you want to leave? 463 00:24:05,402 --> 00:24:06,403 No. 464 00:24:08,072 --> 00:24:09,531 I can't have a baby. 465 00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:13,577 I could barely find the time to schedule this abortion. 466 00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:15,454 - Miranda Hobbes? 467 00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:27,967 Motherfucker. 468 00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:42,106 Take it easy. 469 00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:44,191 Sip slowly. 470 00:24:44,274 --> 00:24:45,651 I'm okay. 471 00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:48,821 -A little pillow here. 472 00:24:49,446 --> 00:24:50,531 I got it. 473 00:24:51,865 --> 00:24:53,158 -Hi. -Hi. 474 00:24:56,370 --> 00:24:57,204 Hi. 475 00:24:58,706 --> 00:25:00,124 I thought some flowers might do 476 00:25:00,207 --> 00:25:03,085 whatever it is flowers are supposed to do in a situation like this. 477 00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:06,964 Yeah, I felt the same way about Entenmann's lemon strudel. 478 00:25:10,342 --> 00:25:13,053 -How are you feeling? -Pretty freaked out. 479 00:25:15,556 --> 00:25:16,807 Charlotte, I didn't do it. 480 00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:19,810 I'm keeping the baby. 481 00:25:23,272 --> 00:25:24,273 Oh, my God. 482 00:25:33,365 --> 00:25:35,075 We're having a baby? 483 00:25:40,414 --> 00:25:42,916 And with those four little words, 484 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,501 three aunts were born. 485 00:25:47,129 --> 00:25:48,172 As for me, 486 00:25:48,255 --> 00:25:51,759 I should've left Miranda's earlier, so I would've been on time. 487 00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:58,974 Ten minutes late. That's the charm of me. 488 00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:01,894 I'm starved. They wouldn't seat me till my party was here. 489 00:26:02,311 --> 00:26:03,437 I'm your party, huh? 490 00:26:04,271 --> 00:26:05,939 -Excuse me. -Hi. 491 00:26:06,023 --> 00:26:06,982 Here she is. 492 00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:09,818 We let the table go. It'll be a bit of a wait. 493 00:26:12,863 --> 00:26:14,573 We can go some place else. 494 00:26:14,656 --> 00:26:16,992 -And wait there? -Okay. 495 00:26:17,076 --> 00:26:18,077 We'll be at the bar. 496 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,329 Fine, I'll put your name on the list for the bar. 497 00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:22,498 Wait. There's a wait to wait? 498 00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:24,958 We'll be outside. 499 00:26:25,709 --> 00:26:26,543 Don't forget us. 500 00:26:28,629 --> 00:26:29,922 Excuse me. Sorry. 501 00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:35,344 How's that beer? 502 00:26:36,470 --> 00:26:37,471 That's classy. 503 00:26:38,180 --> 00:26:39,181 And no waiting. 504 00:26:42,851 --> 00:26:44,186 Nice. 505 00:26:48,649 --> 00:26:49,483 I lied to you. 506 00:26:51,151 --> 00:26:52,611 I did have an abortion. 507 00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:56,448 The condom broke. 508 00:26:57,533 --> 00:26:59,868 Okay, that's another lie. There was no condom. 509 00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:02,830 -What's with all the lying? -I'm afraid you're gonna judge me. 510 00:27:03,497 --> 00:27:07,334 For being 18 and sleeping with a guy without a condom 511 00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:09,294 and getting pregnant and never telling him. 512 00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:11,755 There, that's the whole truth. 513 00:27:14,049 --> 00:27:15,551 Except that I was twenty... 514 00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:17,970 two. 515 00:27:18,846 --> 00:27:19,972 Twenty-two. 516 00:27:20,055 --> 00:27:21,390 I should've known better. 517 00:27:22,224 --> 00:27:24,935 -Is your name really Carrie? -Yes. 518 00:27:27,771 --> 00:27:29,940 So are you judging me? 519 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,608 Hey. 520 00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:33,068 I was no angel. 521 00:27:33,569 --> 00:27:35,404 Why? Did you ever get a girl pregnant? 522 00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:37,322 No. 523 00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:39,491 Not that I know of. 524 00:27:41,368 --> 00:27:44,746 God damn, it must be nice to be a guy sometimes. 525 00:27:53,297 --> 00:27:54,798 So, am I still your girl? 526 00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:57,176 Oh, yeah. 527 00:28:01,805 --> 00:28:03,015 Your table is ready. 528 00:28:03,974 --> 00:28:04,975 Be right there. 529 00:28:12,441 --> 00:28:13,817 Oh, and another thing. 530 00:28:14,401 --> 00:28:15,652 Miranda's keeping the baby. 531 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,988 Don't tell Steve. 532 00:28:19,114 --> 00:28:20,324 It's not our business. 533 00:28:26,079 --> 00:28:29,708 They say life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. 534 00:28:31,251 --> 00:28:33,045 But sometimes in New York, 535 00:28:33,879 --> 00:28:37,174 life is what happens when you're waiting for a table.