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00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:49,800
For most New Yorkers,
2
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,761
Manhattan is the center
of the civilized world.
3
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,806
But for a privileged few,
4
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:59,017
Manhattan is merely a place
to kill time between weekends
5
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:01,895
at their fashionably rustic,
New York country homes.
6
00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:05,732
Wow! Yeah, the place looks great.
7
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:07,359
I was willing to forgo the privilege.
8
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:10,112
-That's the "before" picture.
-Oh, sorry. Whew!
9
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:12,281
That's the "after."
10
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,201
Could I see the before again?
11
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:18,412
You kind of have to be there
to appreciate it.
12
00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:21,999
No, I can appreciate it from here.
13
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,292
Well, luckily you won't have to,
14
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:25,002
since you're coming up there with me
next week.
15
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I am?
16
00:01:27,296 --> 00:01:29,256
Oh, man, I wish I could.
17
00:01:29,339 --> 00:01:32,843
But I have a meeting with my editor
in town next week.
18
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,886
That's all right,
it's only 40 minutes away.
19
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:39,474
You take the train in for your meeting,
and right back out when you're done.
20
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:43,061
Well, you've just thought of everything,
haven't you?
21
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,563
Pack your bags, little lady.
22
00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,815
You're coming to the country
with me.
23
00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:51,820
All right, that's Miranda. I gotta go.
We'll talk about this later.
24
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:55,240
-Nothing left to talk about.
-Oh, yes, there is.
25
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:56,825
I'll be right down.
26
00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:58,410
-I'm coming up.
-All right.
27
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,621
See...
28
00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:04,082
I'm what you call a bona fide city girl.
29
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,335
I'm a girl-about-town.
30
00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:11,006
I'm the kind of girl that goes to
a late movie in the middle of the week.
31
00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,799
-I'm crazy.
-I know it.
32
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:15,302
-Hi there.
-Hello.
33
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:18,722
Hey, could you tell your little pal
Steve to call his insurance company?
34
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,098
They can't find him
35
00:02:20,182 --> 00:02:22,601
and they still think that
I'm his in-case-of-emergency person.
36
00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,561
So, he needs to update that whole file.
37
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,731
Yeah, I know he wants to talk to you
about some stuff too.
38
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:29,900
Uh-oh.
39
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,193
Like what?
40
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:32,903
Some stuff.
41
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:35,280
No, what is he gonna tell me?
42
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,949
Now that Jessica's gone,
he wants to start seeing me again?
43
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:41,119
That he can't stop thinking about me?
He's still in love with me?
44
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,205
Steve's got testicular cancer.
45
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,084
That I'm a horrible, selfish bitch?
46
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,504
Several blocks south,
47
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:54,049
Charlotte also found herself
in a compromising position.
48
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,677
Whatever it is you're doing, don't stop.
49
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,512
It's a fertility exercise.
50
00:02:59,971 --> 00:03:01,807
I know a better one.
51
00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,768
-Ha-ha!
- No, no, not yet.
52
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,728
My basal body temperature reading says
53
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:08,814
I won't be ovulating
for another five days.
54
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,566
That's perfect. That means we have
five days of practice to get it right.
55
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,987
No, we can't. I need you
to conserve your juices until then
56
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,447
so they'll be at their most powerful.
57
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,408
Darling, I'm juicy now.
58
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:23,537
I'm sorry, it's just...
we've been trying for three months.
59
00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,580
I don't wanna take any chances.
60
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:27,582
Can't it wait until Saturday?
61
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,419
We're gonna be in Connecticut
on Saturday. We promised Mother.
62
00:03:30,502 --> 00:03:31,586
I know.
63
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:35,298
I was thinking maybe we could stay here
and concentrate on this.
64
00:03:35,382 --> 00:03:37,801
She's expecting us.
65
00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:40,679
We miss the orchid show,
she'll be devastated.
66
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:43,849
Then I guess we'll just have to have sex
at your mother's.
67
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,643
People having sex in Connecticut?
68
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:49,563
There's a first time for everything.
69
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,692
Aww.
70
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,070
It's no big deal.
71
00:03:57,154 --> 00:03:59,740
The doctor said it's very trendy now.
72
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,409
Lance Armstrong had it,
the Drew Barrymore guy.
73
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,953
Everybody's getting it.
It's the TiVo of cancers.
74
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:07,247
That's right, it's no big deal.
75
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,750
He's just gotta get in there,
snip one of those guys out of there,
76
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,001
and that's it, I'm done.
77
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:14,838
Good, so then it's stage one, right?
I looked it up on the net.
78
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,382
Yeah, I guess so.
79
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,801
You guess so? You don't know?
80
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:25,348
What? Sure. I mean,
stage one, you have the operation.
81
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,643
No, stage one, the cancer hasn't spread
to the lymph nodes. Has it?
82
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,022
Your doctor gave you
an ultrasound, right?
83
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,151
-A CAT scan?
-You know, I mean...
84
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,071
I turned my head, I coughed,
he poked around a little.
85
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:41,323
Who the hell is this doctor?
86
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,366
Has he got a storefront
outside Port Authority?
87
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,076
No, he's nice.
88
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,203
I got him through my HMO.
89
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,246
Oh, well, then he must be good.
90
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:54,294
Steve, look, I talked to some guys
in my office who've been through this.
91
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:56,963
-Jeez, Miranda!
-Don't worry, I used a pseudonym.
92
00:04:57,047 --> 00:05:00,675
They gave me the name
of a specialist at Beth Israel, who--
93
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:03,804
Miranda, you don't have to do that.
You don't have to do anything.
94
00:05:03,887 --> 00:05:06,264
I have a doctor. It's no big deal.
95
00:05:06,348 --> 00:05:08,892
Will you stop saying that?
It is a big deal.
96
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,938
This isn't your crazy yellow toenail,
Steve. This is cancer.
97
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,565
And the longer you wait to find out
what's going on,
98
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,235
the longer we even sit here
having this conversation,
99
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:21,530
the more likely it is that the cancer
will spread, and that you will die.
100
00:05:22,614 --> 00:05:24,950
It is a big fucking deal.
101
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,368
All right.
102
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:32,582
I made him cry.
No, first I yelled at him.
103
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,960
I yelled at my friend,
the cancer patient,
104
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,419
and then I made him cry.
105
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,214
It's understandable.
I mean, you just lost your mom.
106
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,633
I'm sure you have
a lot of pent-up residual anger.
107
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:44,302
Maybe, but mostly
he was just pissing me off.
108
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,804
Sounds like he needed
a good kick in the ass,
109
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:46,972
which is what you gave him.
110
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,849
You know what you need?
111
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:52,435
A nice, relaxing weekend with me
at Aidan's country house.
112
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,563
You're not actually going, are you?
113
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,273
Well, if by "going" you mean
114
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,191
"being taken against my will
and kidnapped,"
115
00:05:58,275 --> 00:05:59,985
-then yes, I'm going.
-Oh.
116
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,444
So enjoy me now, ladies.
117
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:04,281
Because this weekend,
I'm a hick town hostage.
118
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,616
I can't go. Steve has cancer.
119
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:09,411
Somebody has to stay in town
and make him feel bad about it.
120
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,913
You're at the Connecticut compound?
121
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,501
Oh, come on.
122
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:17,919
It's like we're living in Paris
123
00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:20,005
and running off to Provence
for the weekend.
124
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:22,173
Ugh! What is it about the weekends now?
125
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,968
I swear to God,
every guy I've fucked since Memorial Day
126
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:28,388
wants to know what I'm doing
this weekend. They just don't get it.
127
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,016
My weekends are for meeting new guys
128
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,976
so I don't have to keep fucking
the old ones.
129
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,770
-So that's a no, I guess?
-Mmm-mmm.
130
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,940
I guess I'll have to
brave the wilderness on my own.
131
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,693
No. Not on your own, with Aidan.
132
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,153
And I love Aidan.
133
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:45,363
And Aidan loves the country.
134
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:47,240
So maybe I'll love the country.
135
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:50,452
Wait a minute, just 'cause Aidan loves
the country, you have to love it too?
136
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,162
Yes, apparently that's how it works.
137
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:55,707
I see. You need to pretend to be
someone else to be in a relationship.
138
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:59,377
No, I believe the word
you're looking for is "compromise."
139
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:03,048
It's true. Trey loves golf,
so I'm taking golf lessons.
140
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:06,217
Trey loves Bunny,
so I'm ovulating at the orchid show.
141
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:08,136
Which hick town is it, exactly?
142
00:07:09,304 --> 00:07:11,640
It's too terrible and too ironic.
143
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,560
It's Suffern.
144
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:18,897
Suffern, New York.
145
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:24,027
Sounds like you better take
some Buffer'n to Suffern.
146
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:36,706
Well?
147
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,131
-There's a lake right over there.
-Oh?
148
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:46,841
-One mile.
-Oh.
149
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:54,683
Wow.
150
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:06,444
This floor's all original.
Dates back to 1874.
151
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,699
The plumbing's 1974,
so, of course, it needs some work.
152
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,245
But I put in a hot water heater
all by myself.
153
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,706
So what do you think?
Scary as you thought it'd be?
154
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:21,001
No. God, no. No.
155
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:22,252
It was scarier.
156
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:23,753
Aw, good.
157
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:28,425
Let me stick this stuff in the back.
I'll give you the grand tour.
158
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:29,843
I'll be here.
159
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:47,110
So there I was, trapped in a cabin that
was outdated even by Civil War standards
160
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:50,113
when I could've been out cocktailing,
and sample sale-ing.
161
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,952
-Oh, God!
- What is it?
162
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:58,163
-Oh, God!
-What happened? You okay?
163
00:08:58,246 --> 00:08:59,497
No, no.
164
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,207
Oh, my God!
165
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:05,003
There was a huge, giant squirrel
in that window, right there.
166
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,672
Oh!
167
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:08,840
Yeah, that's my squirrel.
168
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:12,552
I've been sneaking little nuts out there
and hoping he'd come make friends,
169
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:13,511
and he did.
170
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,639
You can't be friends with a squirrel.
171
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:19,601
A squirrel is just a rat
with a cuter outfit.
172
00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,811
-Oh, is that right?
-"That's my squirrel"?
173
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:25,273
Any more Wild Kingdom surprises
I should know about?
174
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,400
Let's see, just...
175
00:09:34,032 --> 00:09:37,077
Hours later,
we discovered one satisfying way
176
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,703
to pass the time in the country.
177
00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:41,664
Just not enough time.
178
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:45,502
There I was,
miles from home, hours from sleep,
179
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,003
-with no one to talk to...
180
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,422
...nowhere to go,
and nothing to do except...
181
00:09:51,633 --> 00:09:55,887
Three hours, two mosquitoes,
and one too many vodka Kool-Aids later,
182
00:09:55,970 --> 00:10:00,350
I finally found an outlet
for my computer, but not my frustration.
183
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:09,901
Relationships,
no matter how good,
184
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,487
are inevitably a series of compromises.
185
00:10:12,987 --> 00:10:14,364
But how much of ourselves
186
00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,574
should we be willing to sacrifice
for the other person
187
00:10:16,658 --> 00:10:18,618
before we stop being ourselves?
188
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,411
In a relationship,
189
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:24,582
when does the art of compromise
become compromising?
190
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:26,918
- Meanwhile,
191
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:29,295
back at the center
of the civilized world...
192
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:32,841
So...
193
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,592
what are you doing next weekend?
194
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,098
What did I say?
195
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:43,476
Tired of being
the "wake up and smell the coffee" girl
196
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,479
Miranda invited Steve over
for tea and sympathy.
197
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,149
Or, in Steve's case,
Chinese food and Chop Socky.
198
00:10:49,941 --> 00:10:51,693
I thought
you hated these movies.
199
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,736
Yeah, but you don't.
200
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:57,365
And the guy at Video Village
said this one rocks, so...
201
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,576
Hey, you want the last spring roll?
202
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,661
Uh, no, that's yours.
203
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,496
No, I don't want it. You have it.
204
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,498
Oh, shit.
205
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,793
They forgot the tea.
Did you want tea? I could make some.
206
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:10,253
That's it, I'm out of here.
207
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:12,964
-Why? Where are you going?
-Home.
208
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:16,634
Think I wanna stay here and be treated
like some fucking cancer patient?
209
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,511
What are you talking about?
210
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,263
Since when don't you want
the last spring roll?
211
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,974
You usually eat all the spring rolls.
I'm lucky if I see a spring roll.
212
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:25,059
I'm sorry, I felt bad.
213
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,354
In the park, you obviously needed
a shoulder to cry on.
214
00:11:28,438 --> 00:11:30,315
And I was a total bitch to you.
215
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,482
Yeah, you were.
216
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:33,234
You know what? Thank God.
217
00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:35,320
Because now I have a doctor
who knows what he's doing.
218
00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:36,654
And I scheduled my operation,
219
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,656
and I have insurance
that's gonna pay for it.
220
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,826
So thank you for being a huge bitch.
221
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,788
Give me that spring roll.
222
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:53,504
The next day
at the MacDougals' Connecticut compound,
223
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:56,174
Bunny gave Charlotte
a tour of her nursery.
224
00:11:56,257 --> 00:12:01,221
Since my boys have all grown up,
my orchids have become my babies.
225
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,680
And this year,
226
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:07,727
Waxie Hanahan's Chocolate Oncidium
will be no match for my Rising Suns.
227
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:10,855
-They're exquisite.
-I'm pleased you think so, Charlotte.
228
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,942
I've re-potted this one
for you to take home.
229
00:12:14,025 --> 00:12:16,527
-Oh, no, I couldn't.
-But I insist.
230
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:20,823
A gift in anticipation
of the great gift you're giving me.
231
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:21,908
Oh.
232
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,119
What gift is that?
233
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:27,372
Why, a grandchild, my dear.
234
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:31,334
You mustn't be cross with Trey
for telling me.
235
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,544
He knows how anxious I am
236
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:36,714
to have a wee MacDougal
to carry on the family name.
237
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:42,095
I couldn't get any sleep at all
last night.
238
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,138
The silence out here is deafening.
239
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:45,682
Well, you are in the country.
240
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:50,144
Then I go to take a shower
and there's no water,
241
00:12:50,228 --> 00:12:53,231
so now he's working on
the pipes all day.
242
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:56,150
So I finally had to leave the house
before I dehydrated.
243
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,902
Welcome to Frozen Cup.
244
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:02,573
Yes, I'd like a cheeseburger, please,
large fries, and a cosmopolitan.
245
00:13:02,657 --> 00:13:03,741
-What?
246
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:06,035
A strawberry shake, please!
247
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,872
-Where are you?
-Oh, I'm at the Frozen Cup in Ho-Ho-Kus.
248
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:11,916
-I had to freaking drive to New Jersey
249
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,002
to get cell service, and apparently,
250
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:18,047
the only way to get anything to eat
in the country is to make it yourself.
251
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:20,174
I'm in no mood for Bisquick.
252
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,592
It could be worse.
253
00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:24,595
Bunny's already picking out names
and schools for her grandchild.
254
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:25,930
I'm not even pregnant yet.
255
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,558
She wouldn't even let the cook
put shrimp in my omelette this morning.
256
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,851
You have a cook?
257
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,103
How far is my country from your country?
258
00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,939
-So how is it? How is the house?
-The house? What house?
259
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,899
He's got squirrels
running in and out of there.
260
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:39,569
It's Animal Farm.
Four legs good, two legs bad.
261
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,363
-You didn't say that to him, did you?
-No, no, no.
262
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:43,573
He thinks I love it.
263
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,700
I don't even know
what I'm doing out here.
264
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,243
You're keeping him company.
265
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,121
I'm trying, but he's out there hoeing.
266
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,873
So try harder, go hoe.
267
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,458
All right.
268
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:56,753
So, uh...
269
00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:02,300
What are we gonna go? We gonna be
schlepping these railroad ties
270
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,052
-over to the mudhole?
271
00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,428
-Yes, ma'am.
-All righty, then.
272
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:08,222
-All right. Don't hurt yourself.
-I'm not gonna hurt myself.
273
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,058
-All right, ready?
-Yeah.
274
00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:11,184
Here you go.
275
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,603
-Oh! You okay?
-Shit.
276
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:15,563
Yeah, I'm fine, it's just mud.
277
00:14:16,814 --> 00:14:18,107
-Okay.
-Go, go, go.
278
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:19,567
Oh, God.
279
00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:21,152
Oh!
280
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:26,824
Okay, go. Go, go, go.
281
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:29,827
Shit.
282
00:14:35,666 --> 00:14:37,668
Okay, I'm not being helpful anymore.
283
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:39,837
I think I should get back to the city.
284
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:46,886
I have that meeting to get ready for.
285
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,142
And several showers to take.
286
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,312
Four hours later,
I kissed Aidan good-bye,
287
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:59,941
kicked the mud off my boots, and had
a New York steak with my New York ex.
288
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:03,403
I tried, I really did,
but nature and me, it's unnatural.
289
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:04,695
And I love being with Aidan.
290
00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:06,989
I mean, there's no one in the world
that I would rather be...
291
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,118
I'm sorry.
292
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,620
Is it okay to talk to you
about this stuff? Are you okay?
293
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,830
Yeah, go ahead, I'm okay.
294
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,374
Okay, good. I'm glad that we can talk
about this stuff. And listen.
295
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,793
If you ever meet someone,
I want you to feel--
296
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:19,961
I met someone.
297
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:23,840
Oh?
298
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:26,926
Well...
299
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:29,846
Oh.
300
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:31,389
Who is she?
301
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:34,642
If I tell you, you can't tell anyone.
302
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,688
Is she your imaginary girlfriend?
303
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,648
She's an actress.
304
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,067
Willow Summers.
305
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:46,070
She's not an actress,
she's a movie star.
306
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:49,073
Did you see that Spy Girl movie?
I thought she was pretty good.
307
00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,241
I don't know about that.
308
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:52,743
I do know she wears many wrong things
on the red carpet.
309
00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:57,540
-I cannot believe you are dating some...
-Shh!
310
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,375
...someone named after a tree.
311
00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:02,044
-She's really something.
-How'd you even meet her?
312
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:05,256
She came up to me at her premiere thing
and asked for a light,
313
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:09,010
and said, "I have two vices,
smoking and green-eyed men."
314
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,094
Oh.
315
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,554
She's a smoothie.
316
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:14,432
We talked, had a few...
317
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,934
Went up to her hotel...
318
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,228
Dress comes off,
319
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:21,439
red panties.
320
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:25,693
Kept her high heels on.
I lifted her up, I put her on the bed--
321
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:27,487
Okay, that's plenty. Thanks.
322
00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:31,282
That was about 30 seconds.
I think I did pretty good.
323
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,285
How's the stock market treating you
these days?
324
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,955
The thing of it is,
I can't get her out of my head.
325
00:16:38,706 --> 00:16:40,791
-Uh-huh.
-She's crazy about me.
326
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,586
Willow Summers is crazy about me.
327
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,004
Well, someone's crazy.
328
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:47,965
I'm not kidding, Carrie.
When I walked home from her hotel...
329
00:16:48,049 --> 00:16:50,468
-You walked?
-Yeah.
330
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,428
I thought, "This is something.
331
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:54,722
There's something here."
332
00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:57,642
A connection.
333
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,311
Yeah, the red panty,
green-eyed connection.
334
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,104
Fuck.
335
00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:05,066
I think I'm in love.
336
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:10,821
As I walked off my Big dinner,
337
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:14,033
I realized I'd gone from pretending
I didn't hate being in the country
338
00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:17,036
to pretending I didn't hate listening
to Big's Willow talk.
339
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:21,415
I may have been back in the city,
but now I was really suffer'n.
340
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:33,010
One thing was clear.
I had to get back to the country.
341
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:37,515
But this time, I wouldn't rely on
the country to provide entertainment.
342
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,600
I would take entertainment with me...
343
00:17:39,684 --> 00:17:42,144
otherwise known as Samantha.
344
00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,105
What's next, Samantha?
345
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:45,940
You've got to be kidding me.
346
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,276
Hey, come on. We're baking a pie here.
347
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:50,194
No, you're baking a pie.
I'm just baking.
348
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,697
It's hotter in here than it is outside.
349
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:54,699
Can't we turn on the air conditioning
or something?
350
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:55,825
"One cup of milk."
351
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:57,493
No, we can't.
352
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,329
There is no air conditioner.
353
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,457
Or milk, for that matter.
354
00:18:04,292 --> 00:18:07,837
-What time's the next train?
-No, you can't go.
355
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,464
You have to entertain me
when Aidan goes to bed in about an hour.
356
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:12,675
You lured me here under false pretenses.
357
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:15,177
No, I told you that it was rustic.
358
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,305
Oh, honey, don't kid yourself.
It's a dump.
359
00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:20,808
Hey. Aidan worked very hard
on this place.
360
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:22,852
You know he put that hot water heater in
361
00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,770
-all by himself?
-Mmm-hmm.
362
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,647
-With his own bare hands.
-Mmm-hmm.
363
00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:28,858
Actually, I was wearing gloves
at the time,
364
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,443
but thanks for the shout-out.
365
00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:34,322
Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
366
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:35,615
It isn't you.
367
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,826
I'm pre-heating the oven.
368
00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,911
It couldn't be
any hotter in here.
369
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,039
Or could it?
370
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,251
Who's the farmer with the delts?
371
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,089
Young MacDonald?
372
00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,550
Ooh. E-I-E-I-O.
373
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:55,676
That's Luke Gilmore.
374
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,262
Came out here from the city
after the last big market crash.
375
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:01,015
Doesn't say much,
kind of keeps to himself.
376
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,100
So, what does he do out here?
377
00:19:03,768 --> 00:19:05,561
Push-ups, by the look of him.
378
00:19:10,358 --> 00:19:11,192
Oh, no.
379
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,862
-What are you up to, Sammy-Jo?
-Honey...
380
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:17,239
If we're gonna bake us a pie,
381
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,408
we're gonna need us some milk.
382
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,252
Yoo-hoo! Anybody home?
383
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,597
-You lost?
-No.
384
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:45,351
I'm staying next door,
and I'm baking a pie from scratch.
385
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:46,852
And I suddenly realized...
386
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:48,979
fresh out of milk.
387
00:19:50,815 --> 00:19:51,649
Help yourself.
388
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:12,002
-You from New York City?
-Uh, yes.
389
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:16,757
But only until I can afford
a little farm all my own.
390
00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:22,471
Ever milk a cow before?
391
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,098
No.
392
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:29,437
But something tells me
I'd be very good at it.
393
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,111
Squeeze off the milk
with your thumb and forefinger.
394
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:40,072
-Uh-huh.
-Then roll down into a fist.
395
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,199
Squeeze and roll.
396
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:45,244
Squeeze and roll.
397
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,288
Squeeze and roll.
398
00:20:47,371 --> 00:20:48,789
I think I can do that.
399
00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:52,334
Squeeze and roll.
400
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:53,377
Squeeze...
401
00:20:57,506 --> 00:21:00,092
I usually get a little warning
before that happens.
402
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,263
I guess it just takes practice.
403
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,434
Anything else around here need milking?
404
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,231
While Samantha
worked up an appetite...
405
00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,483
Trey, are you up here?
406
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,734
...Charlotte's eggs were ready.
407
00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:20,154
- In the bath.
-It's time! I'm ovulating!
408
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:22,740
So get out of the tub,
get into this bed,
409
00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,533
and make love to me right now.
410
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,496
Charlotte, I was just telling Trey
411
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:31,957
how much you remind me of myself
at your age.
412
00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:40,758
There you are.
What are you doing in here?
413
00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:42,343
What were you doing up there?
414
00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:43,636
Up where? What do you mean?
415
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:47,097
What do you mean what do I mean?
Your mother was watching you bathe.
416
00:21:47,181 --> 00:21:49,266
She was not watching me bathe.
417
00:21:49,350 --> 00:21:51,352
We were having a conversation
while I was in the bath.
418
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,229
I don't know how you were brought up,
419
00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:58,317
but that is not acceptable parent-child
bath-time behavior past the age of 5.
420
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,110
Even 4, in some cases.
421
00:22:00,569 --> 00:22:02,613
And if you think that
I'm bringing a child into that,
422
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:06,116
that I will be that kind of mother,
then you better think again.
423
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:09,119
She may have raised you like that,
but I am not your mother.
424
00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:15,125
I was raised by a woman named Eva Neal.
425
00:22:16,293 --> 00:22:17,378
She was my nanny.
426
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:22,258
I don't remember ever seeing my mother,
427
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:26,762
ever, except after her tennis lesson
and before the cocktail hour
428
00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,055
when she would draw me a bath
429
00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,890
and she would tell me
how she spent her day.
430
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,810
So, I know, I have always known
431
00:22:32,893 --> 00:22:35,646
that you could never ever
be that kind of mother.
432
00:22:37,982 --> 00:22:40,484
That's my ovaries. I'm ovulating.
433
00:22:41,569 --> 00:22:43,028
We'd better get to work.
434
00:22:43,112 --> 00:22:44,822
Okay, but I have to
get in the right position.
435
00:22:44,905 --> 00:22:46,323
All right, so just wait, stop.
436
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:49,118
Wait, not like that.
I have to get my legs up. Okay, up...
437
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,703
- While trying to make a baby,
438
00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:53,622
Charlotte and Trey
accidentally destroyed Bunny's,
439
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:57,001
and Waxie Hanahan's Chocolate Oncidium
won first prize
440
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,669
for the second year in a row.
441
00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:01,255
Back in New York,
442
00:23:01,338 --> 00:23:04,633
the patient, Steve,
was greeted by a patient Miranda.
443
00:23:09,013 --> 00:23:10,973
-Hey.
-Hey.
444
00:23:12,349 --> 00:23:13,559
-You're up.
-Mmm.
445
00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:15,185
How are you?
446
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:18,314
On drugs.
447
00:23:20,274 --> 00:23:22,568
-How long you been here?
-Not long.
448
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,906
-A while. Is that okay?
-Hmm.
449
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:29,033
I, um...
450
00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:32,036
I talked to the doctor.
451
00:23:32,453 --> 00:23:34,580
-Oh, yeah, how's he?
-He, uh...
452
00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:36,957
He said everything looked
pretty good down there.
453
00:23:38,083 --> 00:23:40,336
I told him, frankly, I'd seen better.
454
00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:42,504
- Ouch.
-Sorry.
455
00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:45,549
Visiting hours are over.
You're going to have to leave now.
456
00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:48,302
Uh, no, I'm sorry, I don't think so.
457
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:51,972
-Are you a family member?
-I'm his in-case-of-emergency person.
458
00:23:52,056 --> 00:23:54,475
It's okay, Miranda, if you wanna go...
459
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:56,143
Shut up or I'll give you a sponge bath.
460
00:23:57,686 --> 00:23:58,771
Twenty minutes.
461
00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:01,607
Drink your juice.
462
00:24:08,489 --> 00:24:12,034
Meanwhile, on his farm,
Young MacDonald had Samantha.
463
00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:23,003
That was good.
464
00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:26,966
You're a man of few words,
but they're all the right ones.
465
00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:29,468
What are you doing next weekend?
466
00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:34,807
Look!
467
00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:37,393
I made crust.
468
00:24:37,893 --> 00:24:40,437
Now all we have to do
is put apples in, and it's pie.
469
00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:43,816
-Look at that.
-No, you don't understand.
470
00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:46,902
The only thing that I have
ever successfully made in the kitchen
471
00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:49,154
is a mess, and several little fires.
472
00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:51,448
So come one,
you feel like peeling some apples?
473
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:56,203
-I feel like taking a shower.
-Now? Oh, no!
474
00:24:56,286 --> 00:24:58,956
Come on, you've been outside all day.
I've been cooped up in here.
475
00:24:59,456 --> 00:25:01,709
Look, we'll do it together.
It'll be fun, all right?
476
00:25:05,754 --> 00:25:07,464
-It's a squirrel!
-God damn it!
477
00:25:07,548 --> 00:25:10,050
-Oh, God.
-Are you okay?
478
00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:12,094
No, I am not okay!
479
00:25:12,928 --> 00:25:14,430
I burned my legs!
480
00:25:15,764 --> 00:25:16,724
And I...
481
00:25:17,891 --> 00:25:18,892
God.
482
00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:22,021
I hate that squirrel. I hate this oven.
483
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:25,941
I hate this.
484
00:25:26,025 --> 00:25:28,152
House. Just say it, you hate the house.
485
00:25:28,235 --> 00:25:29,987
-I hate the house.
-Thank you.
486
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:32,990
Well, I'm sorry, I just...
487
00:25:34,074 --> 00:25:38,078
I just... I don't belong here.
I don't know where anything goes.
488
00:25:38,579 --> 00:25:39,747
And I burned my legs.
489
00:25:40,581 --> 00:25:42,499
-It really hurts.
-Come here.
490
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:45,044
Jump up here. Come on.
491
00:25:49,798 --> 00:25:51,300
Where is it? Oh, there it is.
492
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:00,059
Is that better?
493
00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:02,895
Huh?
494
00:26:04,313 --> 00:26:05,314
I'm sorry.
495
00:26:08,525 --> 00:26:09,860
I don't hate the house.
496
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:12,529
I hate the squirrel.
497
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:14,740
The squirrel's not so bad.
498
00:26:16,283 --> 00:26:18,494
The house, it'll get better.
499
00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:19,953
You'll see.
500
00:26:21,038 --> 00:26:23,582
Maybe from now on
I should just come up on the weekends.
501
00:26:23,665 --> 00:26:25,793
Yeah, or every other weekend.
502
00:26:28,712 --> 00:26:31,173
-I don't have to come at all.
-Okay.
503
00:26:40,224 --> 00:26:41,225
Weekends are good.
504
00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:59,076
One slow train ride
and two fast-food apple pies later...
505
00:26:59,159 --> 00:27:01,662
-These are surprisingly delicious.
-I know.
506
00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:04,206
Why would anybody go to the trouble
of making one
507
00:27:04,289 --> 00:27:07,000
when you can buy one that's so perfect
and individually sized?
508
00:27:08,377 --> 00:27:10,337
-Wait a minute, hold still, sweetie.
-What?
509
00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:14,007
Souvenir?
510
00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:17,094
Please, I am never
leaving this city again.
511
00:27:17,177 --> 00:27:18,178
Taxi!
512
00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:22,432
Actually, the country's looking
pretty good to me right about now.
513
00:27:23,100 --> 00:27:25,602
Really? So you'll be back next weekend?
514
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:28,355
Um... Not next weekend, no.
515
00:27:28,438 --> 00:27:30,023
So when are you going back?
516
00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:34,319
-You gonna finish that pie?
517
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,282
In the end, of course,
Aidan and I compromised.
518
00:27:38,365 --> 00:27:40,284
-He spent money on air conditioning.
-Taxi!
519
00:27:40,367 --> 00:27:42,744
And I spent enough time in Suffern
520
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:48,667
to realize that city girls are just
country girls with cuter outfits.
521
00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:50,836
I got a cab.