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There is one day
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even the most cynical New York woman
dreams of all her life.
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It'll be fabulous. Everything white.
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White flowers,
white tablecloths, white food.
5
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W-H-I-T-E. White.
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She imagines what she'll wear,
the photographers, the toasts.
7
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Everybody's celebrating the fact
that she finally found a publisher.
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It's her book-release party.
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This is a sexy event,
so don't be afraid to use color.
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I'm not afraid of anything.
How about pink?
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Hot pink.
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Pink!
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Isn't it perfect?
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-It's huge.
-Huge space, huge book.
15
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-Who's coming?
-Everyone.
16
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-Okay, this is cuckoo.
-Guest list!
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When your career is going
better than ever,
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it's hard not to get a big head.
19
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Meanwhile,
Miranda was back at the office,
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and she was politically incorrectly
happy to be there.
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I have Walker Lewis calling.
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I'll take that.
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Miranda and Walker had shared
one night of great sex BC.
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Before Child.
25
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I'm so glad
I wasn't waiting for your call.
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I'm so glad you remember me.
27
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Oh!
28
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-I remember you.
-Oh, I remember you, too.
29
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I remember you naked.
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So, how you been? What's new with you?
31
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Nothing much. How about you?
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I was hoping to take you
on a very belated second date.
33
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How about Thursday?
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She invited him
to be her plus-one at the book party
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since she knew
she'd be conveniently minus one.
36
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Magda had already agreed to baby-sit.
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Meanwhile, Charlotte was working
38
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on her perfect plus-one.
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Justin Anderson III.
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Well, thanks for another lovely lunch
and for walking me home.
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My pleasure.
42
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Justin was just in time
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because Charlotte was finally ready
for a new relationship.
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- Oh!
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-Good afternoon, Mrs. Collier.
-Yes, it certainly was.
46
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-And she's one of the friendly ones.
-I think I'd better get back to work.
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-Okay. Bye.
-Bye.
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I was in a new
relationship, too,
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with my publisher.
50
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Hmm, okay, bye-bye.
51
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I am so freaking excited
about this party!
52
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Seriously, Carrie, we are so golden.
53
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People actually want to come
to this book party.
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All of Condé Nast is coming,
including GQ,
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which has actual straight men.
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Someone better kiss me at this thing,
that's all I gotta say.
57
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So, it's not about selling books,
it's about finding you a boyfriend.
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Hey, Courtney-- Oh!
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I didn't know you had
somebody in here. I'm sorry.
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Jack,
what are you doing here?
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Using the Xerox machine.
62
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-You finished your second book?
-No, my suicide note.
63
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-Would you like a Save the Date card?
-Please.
64
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You know each other?
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-No.
-No.
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Oh, Carrie Bradshaw.
Her book of essays comes out this week.
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Oh, very exciting.
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00:03:54,693 --> 00:03:57,112
Jack Berger.
We published his first book last year.
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Oh!
70
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And your name is Berger?
71
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,284
Never heard of me.
72
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:04,536
What does that say
about your publicity department?
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00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:05,912
Not your primary market.
74
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,498
Right, because she's not in
my immediate family.
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00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,752
Jack wrote a hilarious comic novel
that speaks to men
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00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,462
the same way your column
speaks to women.
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Yeah, except men don't buy
hilarious comic novels.
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That's the flaw in the plan.
79
00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:20,177
-What's your book?
-Half-off. That's what it's called now.
80
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It's just half-off.
81
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:24,639
Sometimes, it's 75 cents
on a card table on Sixth Avenue.
82
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-Next to the incense.
-Exactly.
83
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,978
You two should talk
because he knows the whole deal,
84
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:32,063
the party, the signings,
the reading, the tour.
85
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:36,735
Minutes later,
86
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:40,113
Jack Berger and I
slowed down for a little fast food.
87
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I'm not so much feeding them
as I'm hitting them.
88
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Yes, I see that.
89
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,995
Did the man have
a little repressed anger,
90
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:50,081
or did he just dislike pigeons,
the woman wondered.
91
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:53,293
The woman is tripping
over the term "repressed."
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I'm not really bitter.
I'm just trying it on for size.
93
00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,090
-I think it fits.
-Yeah.
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It's a little tight in the crotch.
95
00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:07,182
You're saying "crotch" to me?
We just met.
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00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:09,476
Long in the sleeve?
97
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,814
-Not as funny.
-See that? It had to be "crotch."
98
00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:15,941
How's that strawberry shake?
99
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:18,819
It's very tasty, thank you.
100
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:20,862
I can't believe
that you ordered strawberry.
101
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Who orders strawberry
after the age of... 11?
102
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You have so much to learn about women.
103
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Yeah, that...
that's what a few reviewers said.
104
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All right, what's next?
How long do I have you for?
105
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I don't know.
What else is on your agenda?
106
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,879
I gotta pick up some dry cleaning.
107
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Would it be weird for you to come
with me to pick up some dry cleaning?
108
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No. It would be weird
for you to send me.
109
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It's a nice place.
It's right around the corner.
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Family joint.
They have an actual abacus.
111
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Thank you.
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We were having
one of those great first dates
113
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you can only have
when it's not an actual date.
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Thank you.
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-What's that?
-It's stupid.
116
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I collect found playing cards.
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-They're all over the city.
-Really? I never noticed.
118
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Well, you will now. That's how it works.
119
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I'm hoping to get a full deck.
Insert the obvious joke here.
120
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And I didn't have a two of hearts.
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-It's a good day.
-Yes, it is.
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-Hey, Berger.
-We're on a last-name basis now?
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-Yeah.
-Okay.
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Berger, would you, by any chance...
125
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want to be my plus-one on Thursday?
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It's my book party,
and I don't have a date...
127
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and you'll have
the clean shirt and all, so...
128
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,302
I would love that, uh...
129
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:11,264
but my girlfriend's parents are coming
to visit, and they are staying with us.
130
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Oh!
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Oh.
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It was like a bomb
that just kept exploding.
133
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"I have a girlfriend...
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We live together...
135
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This whole flirtation's in your head."
136
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He should have mentioned her earlier.
137
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But not too early.
I hate it when men do that.
138
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"I have a girlfriend." Calm down.
I just asked if that seat was taken.
139
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:38,041
-That guy's a jerk.
-Thing is, I don't think he is.
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I sparked with this person.
I never spark.
141
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I wonder how happy they are.
142
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This is not a good side of me.
143
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Seriously, what's the point of meeting
someone like that
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00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,141
if they're not available?
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It's the universe telling you
they're still out there.
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Maybe it's the universe telling you
all the good ones are taken.
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I'm telling you, all the good ones
are coming to the party.
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What did he look like?
149
00:08:06,444 --> 00:08:07,654
I can't remember.
150
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,573
Which is what happens
when I really like someone.
151
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:13,827
I just remember a feeling.
152
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,371
Or he was a dating mirage.
153
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:18,540
I was so hungry for a spark,
I hallucinated a man.
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Stop. You're the toast of the town.
155
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,587
Finish your salad, and I'll treat you
to a little mani-pedi Botox.
156
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I like how you say that
like everybody does it.
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-Everybody will.
-I think I'd rather just crawl into bed.
158
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Oh, honey, a little perspective!
159
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You have a fun, exciting,
intellectually stimulating career,
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and there's about to be a huge soirée
thrown in your honor.
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Yes. And I'll be without a plus-one.
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-I'll be your plus-one.
- Coffee?
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He should have said "we" something.
"We go to this dry cleaners."
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"We might be breaking up soon."
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I didn't tell Walker I had a baby.
166
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-How could you not mention it?
- It didn't come up.
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If Walker had asked me directly,
"Have you given birth recently?"
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I would have said,
"First of all, define 'recently.'"
169
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:02,542
-You have to tell him.
-I know. I will.
170
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,003
I just don't want it
to change everything.
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00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,505
If I didn't have a baby,
this is a guy I'd be dating.
172
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:11,426
If Carrie's guy didn't have a girlfriend
then he's a guy she'd be dating,
173
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,136
but he does.
174
00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:14,637
Thanks for bringing that up again.
175
00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,808
In New York,
they say you're always looking
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00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,644
for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment.
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So, let's say you have two out of three,
and they're fabulous.
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Why do we let
the one thing we don't have
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affect how we feel about all the things
we do have?
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00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:35,825
Why does one minus a plus-one
feel like it adds up to zero?
181
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,292
Samantha didn't need a man
to make her feel positive,
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00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:47,504
but she did need a man
to inject her forehead every so often.
183
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,923
We like to warn our patients
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00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:54,135
that some people find it difficult
to register emotion on their faces
185
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,470
after the injections.
186
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:59,933
So you might have to say,
"I am so angry."
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00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,894
Miss Jones is familiar
with the procedure.
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00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,395
Oh.
189
00:10:06,648 --> 00:10:07,690
Oh!
190
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,067
New ones?
191
00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:10,902
Like most high-powered women,
192
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,113
Samantha could handle
the stress of her job
193
00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:15,323
but not the stress lines.
194
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,075
Before we do the Botox,
195
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,577
have you thought about
a freshening chemical peel?
196
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,955
It takes 15 minutes,
and it can make you look
197
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,206
ten to 20 years younger.
198
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:25,875
Oh!
199
00:10:26,793 --> 00:10:30,463
Fifteen minutes later,
Samantha seemed to have it all...
200
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,342
...peeled off.
201
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,139
There are times when a woman
relishes being alone.
202
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:40,515
-There you go.
-Thank you.
203
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:43,893
Oh, my God!
204
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,729
And those are the times
you usually run into someone
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00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:47,730
you don't wanna see.
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00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:51,901
In my case, it was Enid Frick,
my editor at Vogue,
207
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,236
also alone.
208
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,657
-Carrie.
209
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:00,785
Enid. Hi.
210
00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:06,666
-How are you?
-Good. Good.
211
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:09,752
-Are you meeting someone?
-No, I'm just grabbing a quick bite.
212
00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,046
Well, um...
213
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,966
-Would you like to--
-Oh, no. Not if you're working.
214
00:11:15,049 --> 00:11:16,676
No, it's fine. I was just reading.
215
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:18,761
Hello!
216
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,139
Hi.
217
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:25,101
-Hello! is what you're--
-Oh, reading!
218
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:26,728
Yes.
219
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,771
So, do you really want company?
220
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:31,608
Sure. I just ordered.
221
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,571
I guess this way I can expense it.
222
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:38,865
Right.
223
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,665
Enid and I
ran out of Vogue stuff
224
00:11:47,749 --> 00:11:50,043
to talk about midway through our salads.
225
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:52,378
-Do you live in the neighborhood?
-No.
226
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,427
But the man I'm seeing does.
227
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,095
Oh!
228
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,805
So, there's a man.
229
00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:06,267
Yes, there is a man.
230
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:09,687
Well, that's great.
You have a wildly successful career
231
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:12,482
and a relationship.
I was worried we, you know,
232
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:18,196
women only get one or the other,
but you have it all.
233
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:25,954
Enid, you gotta give me something here.
I'm working my ass off.
234
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,498
All right.
235
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:32,252
To speak in magazine copy,
yes, I have it all...
236
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,504
on the East Side.
237
00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:38,841
He has someone else on the West Side.
Luckily, the park provides a buffer.
238
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,094
So...
239
00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,221
you're okay with that?
240
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:44,430
Yes.
241
00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,892
I don't have time for a full-time man.
I have a full-time job.
242
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,061
That's the key to having it all.
243
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,523
Stop expecting it to look like what
you thought it was going to look like.
244
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:57,026
That's true of the fall lines,
and it's true of relationships.
245
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:02,490
Her little tip earned Enid
one invitation to my party.
246
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:07,620
That night, Charlotte let her
perfect plus-one have it all.
247
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:28,474
She even let him stay the night
in her perfect pre-war apartment.
248
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,854
Oh, yeah, that's Man jay.
I ordered breakfast.
249
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,773
-You're too good to be true.
250
00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:42,238
Unfortunately,
251
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,074
Charlotte was about to get
much more than she ordered.
252
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:53,833
-Is anybody home?
-Yes. I am.
253
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:57,462
-Oh, hello, Charlotte.
-Bunny, what are you doing here?
254
00:13:57,545 --> 00:13:59,922
The question is,
what are you doing here?
255
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,425
I'm hearing things from the co-op board.
256
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,594
They're spying on me?
257
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:07,597
Mrs. Collier saw you kissing
a male caller
258
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,807
in the hall in the middle of the day.
259
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,976
I believe that kissing is allowed.
260
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,687
And Mrs. Pierce said a gentleman,
261
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,690
we assume it was the same one,
but who knows,
262
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:21,819
came home with you last night.
And according to the doorman...
263
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:24,530
he hasn't left yet.
264
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:27,784
What I do with my life in my apartment--
265
00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:29,077
That's the thing, dear.
266
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,663
-It's not your apartment.
-Trey gave me this apartment.
267
00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,165
It's not Trey's to give.
268
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,377
And this apartment
remains in the MacDougal name,
269
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:41,631
whereas you, Charlotte York, do not.
270
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:44,258
So, you see,
it's rather a sticky subject
271
00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:47,220
made stickier by the fact
that you're still married.
272
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,554
Ah...
273
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:52,725
-You're married?
-I'm not married. I'm separated.
274
00:14:53,017 --> 00:14:55,353
Aren't you missing a pair of trousers?
275
00:14:57,146 --> 00:15:00,608
-You! You have to go.
-Don't you hustle me out, young lady.
276
00:15:01,192 --> 00:15:02,318
This is Chanel.
277
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:05,738
Charlotte discovered
that a plus-one,
278
00:15:05,863 --> 00:15:07,573
plus one ex-mother-in-law
279
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:09,700
equals disaster.
280
00:15:11,577 --> 00:15:14,539
Meanwhile, I was manning Party Central.
281
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,796
-Hello.
-Anthony will be my date to the party.
282
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,674
What happened to this perfect plus-one
we all had to meet?
283
00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:26,050
I don't wanna talk about it.
284
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:26,968
-Sweetie, what--
285
00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:28,594
Ooh, that's my call waiting.
Can you hang on a sec?
286
00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,388
-No, I can't.
287
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:33,182
That's the locksmith. Bunny's back.
288
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:34,559
Ooh.
289
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:36,102
Hello.
290
00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:40,106
-I'm definitely on the list, correct?
-Of course you're on the list.
291
00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:43,693
-Good 'cause I'm bringing my boyfriend.
-Yes, I've heard.
292
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,821
I don't want to seem like a nobody,
now that I have a somebody.
293
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,490
Oh, so it's okay to be a nobody
when you have nobody?
294
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:51,868
Well, apparently, you're nobody
till somebody loves you.
295
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,995
I can't believe I used to like
that song.
296
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,955
It's the co-dependent national anthem.
297
00:15:56,038 --> 00:16:01,085
-Oh, methinks someone's a little jealy.
-I just miss having you as my plus-one.
298
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,880
You know, the gay guy
is the single gal's safety net.
299
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,883
Even Charlotte has a gay plus-one,
and this is my big night.
300
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,968
Her little boy-bitch Anthony is coming?
301
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:11,721
Yes, he's coming. He styled the event.
302
00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,015
Good. I'm glad he'll be there.
303
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:17,059
'Cause he's bringing a woman,
and I have it all.
304
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,311
-Ooh, and I have a call.
305
00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,062
-See you tonight.
-Okay, ciao.
306
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:21,981
Hello.
307
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:25,067
Honey,
I've had a little something done,
308
00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:29,030
and it's not as bad as yesterday, but...
309
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:32,658
I've looked better.
310
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:37,955
I'm not sure I should go to the party.
311
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,208
You have to come. You're my publicist,
312
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,418
and thanks to you,
there's going to be 8,000 people there.
313
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:45,755
I would like to see
at least one familiar face.
314
00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:47,256
Well...
315
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,300
Samantha, I need you.
I can't talk to the press.
316
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:50,968
I can't keep everyone straight.
317
00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:54,388
And you said you'd be my plus-one.
318
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:58,726
Oh... All right.
Don't worry about a thing.
319
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,104
-I'll be there.
-Okay. Thank you.
320
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:19,330
The party was one of those
amazing events
321
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,916
that would definitely end up
on Page Six.
322
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,126
The fact that it was my party
323
00:17:24,252 --> 00:17:27,129
was just icing
on the beautiful little cakes
324
00:17:27,255 --> 00:17:30,550
that were being passed around
by beautiful little waiters.
325
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,469
Carrie Bradshaw,
right here! Carrie, one more!
326
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,762
Oh! That's great!
327
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:36,681
Carrie, right here! Oh!
328
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:41,852
Thank you.
329
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,939
-Oh, my God, Carrie!
330
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:46,816
One more.
One more, Miss Bradshaw.
331
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:49,527
Can you believe this?
332
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,737
Is it a bad thing
if the party is better than the book?
333
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:55,199
I've been turning people away.
Not the straight men, of course.
334
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:58,536
Hey, have you seen Samantha?
Vanity Fair doesn't have a table.
335
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,997
-Oh.
-Not your problem. Enjoy.
336
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,748
Ooh, cute guy.
337
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,502
Hey.
338
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:10,214
Hello, Carrie. I'm Harold Keenan
of The New Yorker.
339
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:13,843
I've been following your career.
Let me just say congratulations.
340
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:16,846
Carrie, I'm here!
341
00:18:17,305 --> 00:18:18,472
Oh!
342
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,726
You look amazing.
343
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:28,149
Harold Keenan from The New Yorker,
this is Samantha Jones, bee-keeper.
344
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:31,277
What are you doing under there?
Talk to the man. Let him see your face.
345
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,070
- Carrie!
- Hi.
346
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,952
There she was. My plus-one.
Minus one layer of skin.
347
00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:43,914
Hi, I've had a chemical peel.
I'm Carrie's publicist.
348
00:18:49,045 --> 00:18:50,796
Could you at least
separate the two thoughts,
349
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:52,548
chemical peel, Carrie's publicist?
350
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,175
Why did you do this?
351
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,135
-It was an impulse purchase.
-No, no.
352
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:59,639
Gum is an impulse purchase.
This is more than gum.
353
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:01,557
I wanted to be super-fresh
for the party.
354
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:05,061
Well, you are. You look
like beef carpaccio. Veil down, I think.
355
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:06,145
-No!
-Yeah.
356
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,521
If you knew how many dinner parties
357
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,523
I've sat through across
from one of these...
358
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:10,733
And you were able to eat?
359
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:14,070
Carrie, I'm entitled to a chemical peel.
360
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,614
Wait! No! The hat was good!
361
00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,074
Women shouldn't have to hide
in the shadows
362
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:22,411
because they've had cosmetic surgery,
which society nearly demands of them.
363
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,497
Wear a ribbon and make that
political statement elsewhere.
364
00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:26,874
This is my party,
and you're scaring people.
365
00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,584
- Carrie?
-Oh, hi.
366
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,337
-I've had a chemical peel.
367
00:19:31,462 --> 00:19:33,255
And she's not afraid to say it.
368
00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:36,258
When I had my nose job,
I stayed in for a month.
369
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:40,388
Oh, excuse us.
370
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:43,099
We have to go find Charlotte
and her tiny little friend.
371
00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:47,520
We were just getting to know each other.
I was planning on telling him.
372
00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:50,189
Char, you can wrap it up
in a Tiffany bow all you'd like,
373
00:19:50,272 --> 00:19:52,108
but the point is
you wanted to get laid first.
374
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:57,113
-Charlotte, hello.
-Hi, Stanford. You remember Anthony.
375
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:59,115
Anthony... Oh!
376
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,117
Oh, of course. You tried to fix us up
377
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,494
at the fashion show.
I didn't know he'd be here.
378
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:07,289
This is Marcus, my boyfriend.
379
00:20:07,498 --> 00:20:09,792
Really? How long you two
been going together?
380
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:11,669
Four months.
381
00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,755
Hmm. Four whole months.
Good luck to you.
382
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:17,675
We don't need luck. We're in love.
383
00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,218
Mmm-hmm.
384
00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,553
Shrimp!
385
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,140
For some people,
having it all is not enough.
386
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,226
They need someone
who missed out on it all to be jealous.
387
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,270
We're getting a house in the Hamptons.
388
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,980
This friggin' coconut shrimp!
389
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,524
What do you do with the tails?
Mr. Shrimpy!
390
00:20:34,108 --> 00:20:35,985
And he has a large penis!
391
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:37,570
-Oh...
392
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:40,865
Where in the Hamptons?
393
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,119
From a pair of queens
to a hand still not shown.
394
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,336
Maybe you and I should go somewhere
a little less crowded.
395
00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,465
-Like...
-Anywhere in Manhattan?
396
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:03,179
-Your apartment?
-Yes, but...
397
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:06,682
First, I have to tell you something.
398
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:10,060
-Ah! There's someone else.
-Sort of.
399
00:21:11,854 --> 00:21:13,022
I had a baby.
400
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:19,487
But I'm still allowed to have sex.
401
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:24,700
Is it, uh... mine?
402
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:27,203
No! No.
403
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:30,581
The guy's a friend
who I accidentally slept with.
404
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,379
-I'm not good with kids.
-Neither am I.
405
00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:42,718
Look... months from now,
if we're still together,
406
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:46,847
we'll figure this out.
But for now, it's just us,
407
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:50,810
and I'm still the same person, so...
408
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,271
Let's go screw our brains out.
409
00:22:05,783 --> 00:22:08,160
Oh, yeah! Yeah!
410
00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:10,704
Oh, that feels amazing!
411
00:22:11,622 --> 00:22:14,583
-You sure we won't wake him?
-He's fine. He's fine.
412
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:15,960
Forget about him.
413
00:22:16,919 --> 00:22:19,839
Miranda was trying to prove
she could still do it all,
414
00:22:19,922 --> 00:22:22,466
bring home the bacon,
bring home the baby,
415
00:22:22,550 --> 00:22:24,426
and bring home an orgasm.
416
00:22:24,510 --> 00:22:27,346
-Oh, yeah! Oh, Walker!
417
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:29,139
Don't stop.
418
00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:31,475
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
419
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:39,233
Mommy's coming! Mommy's coming!
420
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,193
I don't think I can do this.
421
00:22:42,403 --> 00:22:46,907
-I told you. I'm not a baby guy.
-Couldn't I just please come first?
422
00:23:03,007 --> 00:23:05,175
Oh, so, now you stop crying.
423
00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:19,315
So, here we are, huh?
424
00:23:19,982 --> 00:23:21,567
The night of my big party,
425
00:23:21,734 --> 00:23:24,653
Miranda finally gave in
to her little party.
426
00:23:25,154 --> 00:23:29,074
Because she wasn't the same person.
She was plus one.
427
00:23:30,451 --> 00:23:33,203
Yeah. It's okay.
428
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,710
So, a book!
Does anybody read books anymore?
429
00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:41,754
Actually, I think books are coming back.
430
00:23:41,879 --> 00:23:43,756
You can quote me on the side of a bus
if you want.
431
00:23:43,881 --> 00:23:46,175
"Books are back." Isaac Mizrahi.
432
00:23:46,300 --> 00:23:48,093
-Okay, I'll remember that.
-All right. Meet me.
433
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:50,679
- Bye.
-Perfect party, Carrie. Congratulations.
434
00:23:50,804 --> 00:23:52,806
-Worth coming downtown for?
-Mmm.
435
00:23:55,017 --> 00:23:56,477
Was that a yes or a no?
436
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,145
Ooh. Oh!
437
00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:00,773
Last one. Thank you.
438
00:24:03,901 --> 00:24:06,695
As I looked around, I thought,
"Who needs a date?"
439
00:24:07,112 --> 00:24:09,281
I can have my cake and eat it, too.
440
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:15,037
Then suddenly, there he was,
441
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:18,874
looking cuter than I remembered
and minus one girlfriend.
442
00:24:21,085 --> 00:24:24,505
Hey, lady of the hour.
You're hard to get to.
443
00:24:24,922 --> 00:24:27,091
So is the dessert tray,
when it's your party.
444
00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:29,093
Just as a point of reference,
445
00:24:29,176 --> 00:24:32,221
my book party could have fit
in the coat check of your book party.
446
00:24:32,346 --> 00:24:34,431
Four hundred of my
closest acquaintances.
447
00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:36,475
You look great.
448
00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:39,770
So, I thought you couldn't make it.
449
00:24:39,937 --> 00:24:42,314
I had to come by, say congratulations.
450
00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:45,567
Well...
451
00:24:47,152 --> 00:24:49,238
-Thanks for coming, Berger.
-Yeah.
452
00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:56,620
All right, uh...
Good luck with the book and everything.
453
00:24:57,788 --> 00:24:58,831
You, too.
454
00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:10,342
Excuse me.
455
00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:11,760
-Hey.
-Hey.
456
00:25:11,844 --> 00:25:16,348
-Was that the spark guy?
-Yes, it was. Jack Berger.
457
00:25:16,432 --> 00:25:19,601
-All by his lonesome.
-Well, he is awfully cute.
458
00:25:19,685 --> 00:25:21,895
Is he? I forgot again.
459
00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:25,441
He's obviously here
because he felt something, too.
460
00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:28,068
Can you call me from a cab
and tell me that?
461
00:25:28,527 --> 00:25:30,904
I love you, but your face...
462
00:25:30,988 --> 00:25:34,199
I know. The caterer just shooed me away
from the buffet.
463
00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:38,287
-Do you mind if I go home?
-I thought you'd never ask!
464
00:25:39,121 --> 00:25:40,581
Thank you for being here.
465
00:25:41,415 --> 00:25:46,045
Honey, I wouldn't have gone out
in public like this for anyone but you.
466
00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:49,339
I know. And I have to live with that.
467
00:25:53,135 --> 00:25:54,636
-Bye.
-Bye.
468
00:25:57,264 --> 00:26:00,142
I might go, too. My plus-one
dumped me for a shrimp waiter.
469
00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:02,478
I'd love to leave, but I have to stay.
470
00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:06,190
I'm like the ice sculpture
the party's supposed to happen around.
471
00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:12,696
I had to let him go, correct?
472
00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:16,408
I just wish he'd told me right up-front.
473
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:21,246
The thing is, there's some things
people don't admit
474
00:26:21,371 --> 00:26:23,916
because they just don't like
the way it sounds,
475
00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:27,419
like... "I'm getting divorced."
476
00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:28,879
I'm lonely.
477
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:31,590
I am.
478
00:26:33,092 --> 00:26:34,760
The loneliness is palpable.
479
00:26:38,222 --> 00:26:40,057
Why didn't you tell me
you invited Cliff?
480
00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:42,768
-Cliff who?
-Cliff! Cliff! My Cliff!
481
00:26:43,185 --> 00:26:44,394
He's with her.
482
00:26:44,645 --> 00:26:47,773
That's him? Cliff Bregan
from Primetime Sports?
483
00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:49,733
Don't make a scene!
484
00:26:49,858 --> 00:26:52,945
-Is this her side of town?
-We're below Houston!
485
00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:55,447
East Side, West Side,
who the hell knows down here?
486
00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:58,033
I am so angry.
487
00:26:59,493 --> 00:27:02,538
As it turns out,
even the most together woman
488
00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:04,873
can't keep it together
when it comes to love.
489
00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:07,918
-Who was that?
-My role model.
490
00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:10,003
Because just below the surface,
491
00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,005
we're all raw and exposed.
492
00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:14,007
Bye.
493
00:27:15,300 --> 00:27:16,301
Bye.
494
00:27:29,106 --> 00:27:31,775
So, what was the party for?
495
00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:33,527
Um...
496
00:27:34,027 --> 00:27:36,655
Me. I have a book coming out.
497
00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:38,615
You wrote a book!
498
00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:41,285
Well, it's just a collection of my...
499
00:27:43,453 --> 00:27:48,292
-Yes, I wrote a book.
-That's amazing! Congratulations.
500
00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:49,668
Thank you.
501
00:27:49,751 --> 00:27:51,295
It was kind of amazing.
502
00:27:51,879 --> 00:27:54,381
Why did I need a stranger
to remind me of that?
503
00:27:54,464 --> 00:27:58,635
-So, where can I take you?
-Oh, uh, home. 73rd and...
504
00:27:58,719 --> 00:28:01,972
Oh, no, no, no. We have to
celebrate this.
505
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:08,061
All right, coming right up.
506
00:28:08,145 --> 00:28:10,189
I need those two with mustard there.
Come on, rapido, Papi.
507
00:28:10,272 --> 00:28:12,566
-Can I tell him? I want to tell him.
-Oh, no, I don't--
508
00:28:12,649 --> 00:28:14,193
-She wrote a book.
-Oh, no kidding! Congratulations.
509
00:28:15,485 --> 00:28:17,070
Gonna be in bookstores and everything?
510
00:28:17,154 --> 00:28:18,405
-Yep. Yep.
- That's great.
511
00:28:18,488 --> 00:28:20,949
Well, if that's the case, then tonight,
the hot dogs are on me.
512
00:28:21,074 --> 00:28:24,369
-Oh, no, you don't have to--
-The dogs are on me. I insist.
513
00:28:24,578 --> 00:28:25,621
Thank you.
514
00:28:25,704 --> 00:28:27,372
-Thanks.
- Sure. Have a nice weekend.
515
00:28:27,456 --> 00:28:28,332
Thank you.
516
00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:30,250
All I could think was
517
00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:34,963
who needs a Berger when you can get
a fabulous hot dog for 75 cents,
518
00:28:35,047 --> 00:28:36,089
or free?
519
00:28:36,173 --> 00:28:37,257
- Thanks.
520
00:28:42,095 --> 00:28:44,473
Then again,
maybe there is something
521
00:28:44,556 --> 00:28:45,766
to knowing they're out there.