1
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,299
When you live in the city
that never sleeps,
2
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:52,010
it comes as a bit of a shock
when somehow,
3
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,054
you manage to oversleep.
4
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:59,268
Oh. Oh. Taxi! Taxi!
5
00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,194
Oh, excuse me.
6
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:15,492
- Oh, Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
7
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:18,745
Oh, taxi!
8
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:22,249
Thank you!
9
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:29,840
Shit!
10
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:44,313
Sir. Sir, I have to be downtown
in 30 minutes.
11
00:01:52,154 --> 00:01:53,196
Thank you.
12
00:01:54,406 --> 00:01:55,616
Keep the change.
13
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,367
-Need a lift?
14
00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:21,516
Excuse me, Hi.
Which way to the Stock Exchange?
15
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,809
-There.
-Thank you.
16
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,353
Oh, excuse me.
17
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:36,198
- Step forward.
-Okay.
18
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,407
-Stop. Give him the bag.
19
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,825
Oh, here, can you hold that?
20
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:42,704
-Let's go. Stop. Arms.
21
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:45,540
-I'm sorry. Oh.
22
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:51,129
Oh, sir? Sir, can you hurry?
I'm here to ring the bell.
23
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:52,964
-Go right ahead.
-Thank you.
24
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:53,965
Step forward.
25
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:06,019
All right, you have to put this on.
And we gotta hurry up.
26
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,938
Wow.
27
00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:24,496
Today, one of New York's
favorite newspapers,
28
00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,124
the New York Star is going public.
29
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:33,046
And here at open trading, is one of its
favorite columnists, Carrie Bradshaw.
30
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,301
-Now you can press it.
-Okay.
31
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,183
The day after the stock market,
32
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:48,353
I met the ladies for lunch
in the fashionable meat market.
33
00:03:48,437 --> 00:03:51,857
It was so exciting.
It almost made me invest in something.
34
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,442
I love the stock market.
35
00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:56,862
A room full of screaming sweaty men,
all trying to get it up.
36
00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:59,281
I don't invest anymore.
It's too volatile.
37
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:03,201
Exactly. I want my money right where
I can see it. Hanging in my closet.
38
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:04,870
Actually, your stock is up.
39
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,080
I bought some shares
of your newspaper yesterday.
40
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,292
Really? Well, thank you sweetie,
was it expensive?
41
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,669
-Oh, no you're cheap.
-Well, I never.
42
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,380
- Ladies.
-Thank you.
43
00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,548
Thank you.
44
00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:19,050
Twenty dollars for a hamburger.
Oh, that's reasonable.
45
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,595
Pathetic. When I moved
to this neighborhood,
46
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,263
the only thing that cost $20
47
00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:25,098
-was a hand job from a tranny.
-Ew.
48
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,602
I'm serious.
It's all gotten so sanitary.
49
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:32,355
I mean no smoking in bars.
What's next? No fucking in bars?
50
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,900
Well, first there would have
to be a no fucking section.
51
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:38,612
I mean, just look at this street.
Stella McCartney, Alexander McQueen.
52
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,948
The only designer name that belongs
in the meat packing district,
53
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,325
is Oscar Mayer.
54
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,994
I never liked his clothes. Too fatty.
55
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,789
But that's what great about New York.
There's always a new neighborhood,
56
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:49,831
a new restaurant.
57
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:52,042
-A new man.
-Oh.
58
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:56,755
That's right. Friday night,
my first official date with Jack Berger.
59
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:59,090
That is so exciting.
Isn't that exciting?
60
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:02,761
Oh, sure. It's all fun and games
till someone has a child.
61
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:05,138
So, what do you two have planned?
62
00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:06,473
Well, he hasn't said yet,
63
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,100
so many, many outfits
need to be scouted.
64
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,102
Oh, you kids today and your dating.
65
00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:14,856
I know. I feel like a girl of 35 again.
66
00:05:14,940 --> 00:05:16,358
-Oh.
67
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,528
Oh, I really like him.
68
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,988
Then you better find out
his bottom line right up front.
69
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:25,367
If Harry had told me that he could only
be serious about me if I were Jewish,
70
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:27,494
I doubt I'd be in my situation.
71
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,372
I don't get it. What kind of man passes
up pussy for Purim?
72
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,292
Soup and a tenderloin of pork.
73
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,921
What's with the face?
74
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:41,258
-I didn't make a face.
-I said pork, you went...
75
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,427
It's just I'm confused.
76
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:46,888
I mean you can order pork
77
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,683
but you can't get serious about a future
with me because I'm not Jewish.
78
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,477
And from the meat market,
to the marriage market.
79
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,481
Charlotte, it doesn't work that way.
I'm not kosher, I'm conservative.
80
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:58,066
I'm conservative too.
81
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:01,027
Yeah, well, my conservative doesn't have
anything to do with wearing pearls.
82
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,030
Look, I know what you're thinking. Okay?
83
00:06:04,114 --> 00:06:06,575
Why did I let things get this far
without talking about this?
84
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,702
Why did I sleep with you?
Why did I even kiss you?
85
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,496
-Why did you?
-Because I couldn't not kiss you.
86
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,623
Not sleep with you. Not see you.
87
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,084
Believe me, I never thought
a shiksa goddess like you
88
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:17,752
would fall for a putz like me.
89
00:06:20,005 --> 00:06:21,339
You're not a putz.
90
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,551
Do you even know what putz means?
91
00:06:24,676 --> 00:06:26,970
Yes. Shmuck.
92
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,764
Sure you're not Jewish?
93
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:34,811
Okay.
94
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,147
And from Jewish to Poo-ish.
95
00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:41,526
Um... Miranda. You got a little dootie
on your forehead.
96
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:42,903
What? Where?
97
00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:45,322
Oh, now you got more. The other side.
98
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,867
Which side? How's it-- Well, help!
99
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:51,912
-It's not funny! Baby wipe me.
- Okay.
100
00:06:52,037 --> 00:06:54,664
-"Baby wipe me".
-Get it off! I did not say it like that.
101
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,124
Just get it off!
102
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,959
-"Baby wipe me".
-Oh, yeah?
103
00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:00,003
-Let's see how you like it. You like it?
-No, no.
104
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,088
-You want it on your face?
-No, Miranda, Miranda, no.
105
00:07:02,172 --> 00:07:03,840
-Mister, mister, on your face.
-Knock it off!
106
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:04,841
Knock it off!
107
00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:07,010
Brady, help!
Tell Mommy to stop chasing Daddy.
108
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,180
What?
109
00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:14,351
I just don't think
it's so fucking funny.
110
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,894
You weren't the one
with shit on your face.
111
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,145
You were chasing me.
112
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,481
You know, I don't have time for this.
I have to get up early.
113
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:23,401
I don't even know why you're still here.
You dropped off the baby hours ago.
114
00:07:23,485 --> 00:07:27,113
I don't have time to stand around while
you read the paper and order food in.
115
00:07:28,490 --> 00:07:29,741
Don't you have a life?
116
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,952
Yeah, I got a life.
117
00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:35,956
Bye, Brady.
118
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:46,841
-Hey.
-I'm in love with Steve. Hold this.
119
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,971
Oh, my God, I can't believe it.
120
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,391
Come on, are you seriously
telling me you didn't know?
121
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,768
Oh, I knew.
I just can't believe you admitted it.
122
00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,687
I need a drink. What have you got?
123
00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:00,605
It's 11:30 on a Saturday morning.
124
00:08:00,689 --> 00:08:04,192
Did you not hear me just say
I was love with Steve?
125
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,404
I think I got an old bottle
of Kahlúa somewhere.
126
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:13,410
Okay. Hold on there, Brady.
Mama needs a cocktail.
127
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:14,911
Last night we were in the dining room
128
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,955
and we were laughing
and all of a sudden,
129
00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:21,459
I looked over at him
and I realized we belong together.
130
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,839
-Oh, Miranda.
-Yeah.
131
00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:28,842
So I picked a huge fight
and threw him out of my apartment.
132
00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,803
Good thinking. Okay.
133
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,889
These Triskets have
been here since the mid '80s.
134
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:40,228
I so cannot be in love with Steve.
Steve's so is not the guy for me.
135
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:42,647
Oh... Miranda.
136
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:46,276
You're right.
Steve's so is the guy for me.
137
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,279
No, no, I was just asking
if Brady can eat crackers yet.
138
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:52,741
No. How can I have
been wrong all these years?
139
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:57,037
You weren't wrong.
It just took you a while to get here.
140
00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:01,041
So, what are you gonna do?
141
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,918
I don't know. I have a lot invested
in this relationship.
142
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,086
Plus, we have the baby.
143
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,172
Yeah, plus you said
you were in love with him.
144
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:08,757
Yeah.
145
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,134
So, how are you gonna tell him?
146
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:16,514
Maybe I should take him somewhere
romantic where I can't start a fight?
147
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:20,018
Oh, my God, Miranda,
do you know what this means?
148
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,604
You're asking Steve out on a date.
149
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,777
- Hi, Samantha.
-Hi.
150
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,570
- Looking good, Sam.
-Hi.
151
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,991
That night as Samantha
walked home,
152
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,744
past her friendly neighborhood bar,
the Rampole,
153
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,954
she saw something truly upsetting.
154
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:52,300
Just what we need.
Another Wall Street asshole with money.
155
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,311
Hold the door.
156
00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:08,608
Hi. Thanks.
157
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,903
I live here, see? Here are my keys.
158
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:14,614
Chip Kilkenny. I just moved in.
159
00:10:14,781 --> 00:10:19,452
-Samantha Jones. 3F.
-I'm 4F. You live right under me.
160
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,997
That sounds promising. It's quite a car.
161
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:29,838
I love a nice hummer. Well, good night.
162
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,265
And uptown,
in a slightly less obvious maneuver.
163
00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:41,850
Oh, I'm close.
164
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:48,565
Oh, honey. Is this whole Jewish thing
really that big a deal?
165
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,317
No. No. Oh, God.
166
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:55,446
No. Oh!
167
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,702
The next morning,
bright and early.
168
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,706
-Good morning.
169
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,250
There's a happy face.
170
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:11,588
I am a happy face.
It's a beautiful morning,
171
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,548
and the sun is shining,
172
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,551
and you changed your mind
about the Jewish thing.
173
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,387
Whoa, whoa. What?
What Jewish thing? When?
174
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:23,933
Last night. I asked you if it was really
that important to you and you said no.
175
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:24,851
I did?
176
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:29,105
Yeah. When we were making love,
right before you came.
177
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,065
How could you not remember?
178
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:34,944
Charlotte, honey. I can't remember
my own name right before I come.
179
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,030
Well, that's what you said.
180
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,658
Asking me to renounce Judaism
during sex is a clear manipulation.
181
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,493
Oh, blah-blah-blah.
182
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:45,371
Just don't understand
why is it so important to you?
183
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,083
I promised my mother
I would marry a Jew.
184
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:50,793
Your mother?
185
00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:52,629
Charlotte had
had her fill of potential
186
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,547
husbands and their demanding mothers.
187
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,592
Harry's stock suddenly
began to plummet.
188
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,261
Yeah, right before she died.
189
00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,264
And just like that,
it was up again.
190
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:06,601
I'm very sorry your mother's
no longer with us,
191
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,187
because if she met me--
192
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,898
She'd would fall in love with you
like I did and not care?
193
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:14,192
-Mm-hm.
-No. Jews don't think like that.
194
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,695
Keeping tradition alive
was very important to her.
195
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,239
She lost family in the Holocaust.
196
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,034
What?
197
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:29,374
Well, now I can't say anything
because you've brought up the Holocaust.
198
00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,631
- Hi, it's me. Leave a message.
199
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:41,094
Hi. It's Jack. Berger. Not Kerouac.
200
00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:42,762
Wanted to clear that up.
201
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,431
So you're probably standing
there screening.
202
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:48,268
Way to play it.
I'm a big fan of the screen.
203
00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,437
In fact, don't pick up
or I'll panic and hang up.
204
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:52,772
Don't pick up.
205
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,775
I'm not ready for actual
voice on voice action.
206
00:12:56,150 --> 00:13:00,947
So I'm jumping right in and suggesting
dinner and a movie for the big date.
207
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,950
Everybody's really been loving that
movie Craig's Room, so...
208
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,244
Why don't we go and hate it?
209
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:11,457
Here come the movie times.
We have 5:15, we have a 7 o'clock.
210
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:15,503
And he calculated which times and
which theatres would be least crowded,
211
00:13:15,586 --> 00:13:19,757
which says "take charge" yet left
the restaurant choice to me, which says,
212
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,134
flexible.
213
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,970
All and all,
the perfect machine message.
214
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:27,432
I think Berger and I are gonna
be very happy together.
215
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:30,518
Oh, I love this time
before the first date
216
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,229
when you can make statements
like that and almost believe them.
217
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:36,649
-Why all the drama?
-Because I really like him.
218
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,485
And you can imagine
what that does to a girl.
219
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:42,071
Got it. Say no more.
Really, say no more.
220
00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,283
Oh, and then right after he called,
I got a message from this other fella,
221
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,660
who I've known for a year
suddenly asking me out on a date
222
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,245
which only proves my theory.
223
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:52,415
The only thing a girl needs
to get a date is another date.
224
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:54,542
-Your stock is up.
-And did you say yes?
225
00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:55,918
No. I already have a date.
226
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:58,004
Which is why you should say
yes to the other one.
227
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,381
I think you're putting on a lot
of pressure on this Berger date.
228
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,760
Honey, Charlotte's right. You need to do
something to take the edge off.
229
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,970
I'm not going on a simu-date.
230
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:08,723
Carrie, how many new outfits
have you bought for this movie?
231
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:12,143
-Be honest.
-None. Six. All returnable.
232
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:15,980
All right, maybe just a casual coffee
to take the edge off Berger.
233
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,148
Exactly.
234
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:21,611
Later that day I got to
thinking about stock market and dating.
235
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,154
Are they really that different?
236
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,157
If you have a bad stock,
you could lose your shirt.
237
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,702
If you have a bad date,
you could lose your will to live.
238
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:33,581
And if the date is good,
the stakes get even higher.
239
00:14:34,749 --> 00:14:36,793
After weathering all the ups and downs,
240
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,754
you could one day
find yourself with nothing.
241
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:43,424
So, when it comes to finance and dating,
242
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:45,385
I couldn't help but wonder,
243
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:47,845
why do we keep investing?
244
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,186
And speaking of high risk investments.
245
00:15:03,945 --> 00:15:08,658
Hey, it's me. I'm not here.
Try me at Scout, 957-7297.
246
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,202
-Don't forget the 212.
247
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:15,164
Hi, Steve. Hi. Steve.
248
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:16,457
Um...
249
00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,669
I need to talk to you about something.
250
00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:23,297
How about we do it over dinner?
How's tomorrow night?
251
00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,216
Magda could sit with Brady.
252
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,136
Let me know. Bye.
253
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:33,141
-Oh, it's Miranda. And... bye.
254
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:37,770
Miranda feared it was possibly
the most imperfect machine message ever.
255
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:42,817
And Samantha
decided to say it with a basket.
256
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,202
Welcome Wagon.
257
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:57,165
Hi. Excuse the towel.
I was just in the shower.
258
00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,250
I brought you a basket
filled with goodies
259
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,294
to acquaint you with
your new neighborhood.
260
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,505
Cheese, prosciutto, condoms, handcuffs.
261
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:07,258
-Handcuffs?
-From the bar next door.
262
00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:09,510
Enjoy.
263
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:13,264
If I reach for that, my towel will fall.
264
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:14,807
I'm no fool.
265
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:26,486
A little while later,
Samantha blew Chip, stockbroker.
266
00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:30,990
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
267
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,160
-Now that's what I call eating in.
268
00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:40,249
Look, I never do this but here's a tip.
269
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:44,962
Elan Pharmaceuticals is gonna go
straight through the roof.
270
00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:47,215
Elan Pharmaceuticals.
271
00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:53,012
-Thanks.
-No, thank you.
272
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,598
That was the best effing
head of my life.
273
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:00,520
Just like that,
their mutual fun,
274
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,563
turned into mutual funds.
275
00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:07,568
Later that week, I met graphic designer,
Willie Applegate
276
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,946
for a late afternoon simu-date.
277
00:17:10,112 --> 00:17:13,866
-It's a cute place.
-Yeah, I hope it's okay. I didn't know.
278
00:17:13,950 --> 00:17:16,911
But I figured, you know,
you can't go wrong with a garden, right?
279
00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,789
-Yeah, it's great.
-I hope it's okay, yeah.
280
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:22,583
I didn't know. I just said that.
281
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,504
It suddenly became clear
that a simu-date for me
282
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,381
was a first date for him.
283
00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:33,052
Are you looking at my sty?
284
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,887
-Excuse me?
-My sty.
285
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,057
I have a sty. See, right here.
286
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:42,019
I was gonna cancel, but then I thought,
"Well, maybe she won't even notice it."
287
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,479
And I-- I didn't even--
288
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,566
-No, I wasn't looking at it.
-Oh, oh, that's good.
289
00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,818
-Oh. Oh!
290
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,778
-Okay. Wha... what...
291
00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,697
-Oh!
-What was that?
292
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,283
-Have you ever seen anything like that?
293
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:57,034
No, I have never.
294
00:17:57,118 --> 00:17:59,120
This is a bad choice of place.
I'm sorry.
295
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:01,330
No, it's fine. It's fun.
296
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,417
It's like cappuccino, wilderness safari.
297
00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:13,050
Ouch. balsamic vinegar in my sty. Ouch.
298
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:16,387
Oh, God, here. Here. Here you go.
299
00:18:17,221 --> 00:18:18,806
-Ow.
-Thanks.
300
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,808
Could this go any worse?
301
00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:22,226
Oh.
302
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,687
What the... what the fuck?
303
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,897
-Whoa!
-Oh!
304
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:30,443
I'm fine. I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
305
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,904
It was a sudden crash
no analyst had seen coming.
306
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,949
And in yet another type of market.
307
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:40,661
Well, I hope you're happy. Now I'm twice
as nervous about my Berger date.
308
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,456
Caring too much
is like a disaster magnet.
309
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:44,915
Poor guy.
310
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,960
Can you catch a sty helping
someone up from gravel?
311
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,670
Where's the homeopathic section?
312
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,797
Maybe they make something
called sty-be-gone.
313
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:55,176
Did you know that Elizabeth Taylor
converted to Judaism for Eddie Fisher?
314
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,596
I'm thrown by the change of topic
but I do appreciate the trivia.
315
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,848
I'm reading her book
My Love Affair with Jewelry.
316
00:19:00,931 --> 00:19:01,932
Not surprising.
317
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:05,144
And she changed her religion
for the man she loves.
318
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,146
Yeah, and a big old,
honking piece of jewelry.
319
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:10,858
-Oh, don't be so cynical.
-Sorry, it's my potential sty talking.
320
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,402
Love... she did it for love.
321
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:16,489
Are you thinking of pulling
an Elizabeth Taylor?
322
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,532
I need more information.
323
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,660
There's more
to being a Jew than jewelry.
324
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,286
Wise words.
I'll meet you at the checkout.
325
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,287
Okay.
326
00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:32,713
Ah.
327
00:19:34,882 --> 00:19:38,761
Charlotte wondered just how far
she would go for her true love.
328
00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:47,395
Did you know that Elizabeth Taylor
converted to Judaism for Eddie Fisher?
329
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:52,066
No, don't get too excited.
We're just trading information here.
330
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:55,277
Okay, and from a not
excited place I ask,
331
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,238
is this something you might consider?
332
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,033
I'm just trying to understand.
What's so special about being a Jew?
333
00:20:01,158 --> 00:20:03,661
-I feel like I'm on a game show.
-I'm serious.
334
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,705
I mean, If this is really
your bottom line,
335
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:09,125
then you're gonna have to try and give
me a reason, aside from your mother,
336
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:10,501
that I can relate to.
337
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,257
Well...
338
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:18,843
If we were to get married...
339
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,595
Now, we're just trading
information here.
340
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,474
I would want our children
to be raised Jewish.
341
00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:30,813
Charlotte realized, it was time
to reveal to Harry, her bottom line.
342
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:37,445
Well if that's really the reason
then I have to tell you something.
343
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:41,490
I...
344
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,704
I may not be able to give you children.
345
00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:51,751
I'm challenged in the reproductive area.
346
00:20:52,460 --> 00:20:56,213
It's not hopeless, but it's difficult.
347
00:20:58,382 --> 00:21:02,094
I guess I should have brought it up
sooner, but I never thought we'd even...
348
00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:06,348
-I understand if you--
-Shh. Charlotte.
349
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,602
I love you.
350
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:14,231
You're the most wonderful thing
that could happen to a shmuck like me.
351
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,193
You're not a shmuck.
352
00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:21,989
You're a putz. Seriously, Harry.
353
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,658
You want a family and...
354
00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:30,039
What if I couldn't give that to you?
355
00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,875
We'll adopt or something.
356
00:21:34,043 --> 00:21:36,879
-But they wouldn't be your own.
-Eh.
357
00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:39,924
What are you gonna do?
358
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:44,637
Charlotte York was deeply
touched by Harry Goldenblatt's humor,
359
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,014
compassion, and acceptance.
360
00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:51,185
"If this is Jewish, " she thought,
"That's worth looking into."
361
00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:54,730
Meanwhile, downtown,
Samantha had moved her neighbor
362
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,525
from stocks and bonds
to stockings and bondage.
363
00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,652
-I'm bad.
364
00:22:00,361 --> 00:22:01,946
-Go away, I'm busy.
365
00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:06,951
-Ms. Jones.
-Juan.
366
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:10,830
Who the fuck are you?
367
00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:14,750
FBI. Get dressed.
You're under arrest for insider trading.
368
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,419
Turns out, Chip Kilkenny
was quite the ladies' man.
369
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:20,673
And every time a woman went down,
the Dow went up.
370
00:22:20,798 --> 00:22:23,133
Ma'am, can you undo your cuffs,
so we can use ours?
371
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:27,179
Surely. All the good ones
are getting arrested.
372
00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:33,727
And at a romantic restaurant,
373
00:22:33,811 --> 00:22:38,107
a 37-year-old, single mother
found herself on a first date.
374
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:43,320
You look pretty. You got a date later?
375
00:22:44,071 --> 00:22:45,865
No, it's just the dress.
376
00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:51,203
Jeez Louise, it's dark in here.
I can barely read my menu.
377
00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:53,289
We need another candle or something.
378
00:22:53,581 --> 00:22:55,165
I think it's kind of nice.
379
00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:59,044
Um, Steve.
380
00:22:59,962 --> 00:23:00,838
Yeah?
381
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:04,925
I asked you here because
I wanted to explain
382
00:23:05,009 --> 00:23:06,510
why I picked a fight with you last week.
383
00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:09,722
Miranda, I know you. And I know why
you picked a fight with me.
384
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:12,850
-You do?
-Yeah.
385
00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:15,769
You're upset because
I'm hanging around too much.
386
00:23:15,853 --> 00:23:17,229
You think I'm getting too close.
387
00:23:17,605 --> 00:23:21,567
But you don't have to worry because
I just started seeing someone else
388
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:26,572
and it's going really good,
so please, relax.
389
00:23:27,781 --> 00:23:29,366
I'm not in love with you anymore.
390
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:43,005
All that stuff I said to you
about Steve never happened.
391
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:45,674
Don't mention it to anyone.
Don't think about it.
392
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:49,345
Don't even so much as give me a look
like you might be thinking about it.
393
00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:53,349
Like that. That look. I can't ever,
never see that look again.
394
00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:54,475
Will you please calm down?
395
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:57,353
I think you're overreacting
to that thing that never happened.
396
00:23:57,436 --> 00:24:00,064
If you think I'm overreacting here,
you should be inside my head.
397
00:24:00,147 --> 00:24:02,566
-Miranda, I have to say this next thing
398
00:24:02,650 --> 00:24:05,694
but I will play along
and not look at you while I say it.
399
00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:09,740
Maybe if you had told Steve anyway--
400
00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:13,202
Carrie, I swear to God I love you
but I will have to kill you.
401
00:24:13,786 --> 00:24:16,997
Brady, come on.
Work with mommy here. Please.
402
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:20,084
I'm sorry but I'm looking
and I'm talking.
403
00:24:20,584 --> 00:24:24,254
This is your life.
You two have a baby together.
404
00:24:24,338 --> 00:24:27,257
-It's not high school.
-Isn't that Berger?
405
00:24:31,428 --> 00:24:34,223
-Oh, God, I look like shit.
-You don't look like shit.
406
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,767
I look like shit.
This is not my perfect outfit.
407
00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:39,436
-Are you leaving?
-Bye.
408
00:24:40,813 --> 00:24:42,439
Oh, God, shit.
409
00:24:55,577 --> 00:24:58,414
I was just entering
the safety zone when...
410
00:24:59,873 --> 00:25:00,916
there he was.
411
00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:04,712
My emotional equivalent
to the big crash of '29.
412
00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:06,130
Aidan.
413
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,729
- Hey.
-Hey.
414
00:25:25,149 --> 00:25:26,942
-Look at you.
-Look at you.
415
00:25:27,276 --> 00:25:30,446
-I had a baby.
-I have a date.
416
00:25:32,781 --> 00:25:34,033
Well, that's wonderful.
417
00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:35,451
Is this him?
418
00:25:35,701 --> 00:25:38,287
No, this isn't him.
This is a stunt baby.
419
00:25:39,079 --> 00:25:41,832
Yeah, it's him. This is the man, Tate.
420
00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:44,585
I call him Tater 'cause he looks
like one, you know.
421
00:25:45,002 --> 00:25:46,253
No hair, big eyes.
422
00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:49,048
Yeah. He's cool. Aren't you, Tate?
423
00:25:49,965 --> 00:25:51,300
So, where are you running to?
424
00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:53,093
Uh, home.
425
00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:56,180
So things are good? They look good.
426
00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:59,600
I'm just hanging out in front of this
fabric store waiting for Tate's mom.
427
00:26:00,059 --> 00:26:03,145
All right, don't laugh.
I married another furniture designer.
428
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:04,897
-Really?
-Yeah. What are you gonna do?
429
00:26:05,022 --> 00:26:06,815
Yep. You can't fight city hall.
430
00:26:07,608 --> 00:26:09,651
Cathy. She's great.
431
00:26:10,277 --> 00:26:11,403
You wanna come and meet her?
432
00:26:11,653 --> 00:26:13,072
Oh, another time.
433
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:14,948
I really have to run.
434
00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:17,409
-Okay.
-Bye, Tate.
435
00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:23,749
Oh, God, Aidan.
436
00:26:27,669 --> 00:26:28,837
It's good to see you.
437
00:26:30,422 --> 00:26:31,423
You, too.
438
00:26:33,842 --> 00:26:36,386
We should get together and have coffee
sometime and catch up.
439
00:26:36,637 --> 00:26:39,431
Yeah, great. Okay, we'll do that.
440
00:26:41,934 --> 00:26:42,851
Bye.
441
00:26:44,186 --> 00:26:47,147
There is the type of date
you can't wait to keep.
442
00:26:47,564 --> 00:26:50,984
And the type of date you both know...
443
00:26:51,235 --> 00:26:52,444
you'll never keep.
444
00:27:11,797 --> 00:27:13,257
A block later, I realized
445
00:27:13,423 --> 00:27:17,469
if Aidan and I could survive that huge
a crash and both get out alive,
446
00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:20,139
there was nothing
I could do on a first date
447
00:27:20,472 --> 00:27:21,807
I couldn't bounce back from.
448
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:23,725
Hey, Berger, it's Carrie.
449
00:27:23,934 --> 00:27:26,061
- Hey!
-Yeah, hi, listen.
450
00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:29,356
I'm standing outside
the Sony Theater near Lincoln Center
451
00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:31,441
and Craig's Room starts in half an hour.
452
00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:34,069
And there are no lines. Can you go now?
453
00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:36,822
That's so weird.
I'm right in that neighborhood.
454
00:27:37,698 --> 00:27:40,033
Really? Huh, must be fate.
455
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,369
-I'll be right there.
-Okay. Bye.
456
00:27:48,876 --> 00:27:51,545
-Hey!
-Well, this blows.
457
00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:54,882
I had my special outfit
all picked out for tonight.
458
00:27:54,965 --> 00:27:56,091
I got the tickets.
459
00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:58,719
All right, then I got the popcorn
and the assorted chocolate goodies.
460
00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:01,513
-Are you a candy gal?
-I am the candy gal.
461
00:28:01,597 --> 00:28:03,599
-Oh, 'cause I'm the candy man.
-Yeah?
462
00:28:03,724 --> 00:28:05,934
No, I am serious.
Sammy Davis? Ripped me off.
463
00:28:06,101 --> 00:28:09,021
Yeah, Sammy Davis. You don't feel
the need to use the Junior?
464
00:28:09,188 --> 00:28:10,814
No, not at all.
465
00:28:10,981 --> 00:28:12,107
- Really?
- Nope.
466
00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:13,108
Don't forget--
467
00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,738
And by close of Wall Street
that day,
468
00:28:18,071 --> 00:28:22,367
the NASDAQ was down,
but amazingly, our stock was still up.