1 00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:02,646 Yes? 2 00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,107 -Room service. 3 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,612 We've got to stop meeting like this. 4 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,991 You've been waiting your whole life to say that. 5 00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:19,997 I have to be some place in three hours. 6 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,835 Why is your skin so soft? 7 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,462 When Charles Dickens wrote, 8 00:01:27,546 --> 00:01:31,091 "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, " 9 00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:34,553 I believe he must have been having an affair with his married ex-boyfriend. 10 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,396 -Yeah? - It's me. 11 00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:49,276 You know, you can't just keep changing the time around like this. 12 00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,736 I have a schedule too. 13 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:51,945 Fine, I'm sorry. 14 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:54,698 Well, let's get those panties off. 15 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:56,325 Wait, I have to put my diaphragm in. 16 00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,368 -I have to be at work in 40 minutes. -I know. 17 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:03,874 Our affair, like our hotels, had gone from elegant with crystal 18 00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,792 to seedy with plastic cups. 19 00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:10,756 Cracker? 20 00:02:17,346 --> 00:02:19,264 God, it's hot in here! 21 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,892 It's hot and the windows don't even open. 22 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,686 I hate those little sliding air strip things. 23 00:02:26,772 --> 00:02:28,106 Me, I need air. 24 00:02:28,857 --> 00:02:30,067 You picked the hotel. 25 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,986 I picked it because it's on 56th and 8th. 26 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,530 Nobody knows us on 56th and 8th. 27 00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:37,366 56th and 8th is safe. 28 00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:38,909 I don't give a fuck who sees us. 29 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:42,454 Yes, you do. And I do too. You want people to get hurt? 30 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,041 This room smells like take-out curry. 31 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:50,170 Hey. 32 00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,297 Hey. 33 00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,305 It's too hot. I can't do this, I can't do this. 34 00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,933 What, are you saving it for your boyfriend? 35 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:05,977 -Carrie... -No! 36 00:03:06,645 --> 00:03:08,188 You don't talk to me that way! 37 00:03:13,235 --> 00:03:14,361 I'm sorry. I'm... 38 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,739 I'm sorry. 39 00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:19,491 Jesus. 40 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:22,953 How did we get here? 41 00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:29,126 Who are we? 42 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:44,975 -Here we go. - Thanks. 43 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,853 Okay, I have something to tell you, and you're not gonna like it. 44 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,690 And believe me I would rather tell anyone but you. But I have to. 45 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:54,401 -Okay. -Because I need your help. 46 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:55,318 Okay. 47 00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,196 I'm having an affair with Big. 48 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,158 I swear to God, I think my heart just stopped. 49 00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:06,037 And also, I'm smoking again. I'm smoking, and I'm sleeping with Big. 50 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,165 Feel free to delete me out of your Palm Pilot. 51 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,166 Give me one. 52 00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,002 -Really? -I think I need it. 53 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,379 Oh, you are such a good friend. 54 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:16,631 Don't inhale. 55 00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:25,390 Do you hate me? Say you don't hate me. 56 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:26,308 I don't hate you. 57 00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:28,310 Thank you. Now if only I didn't hate me. 58 00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:30,937 -How long has it been going on? -Forever! 59 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:33,398 Actual time, three weeks. 60 00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:36,401 I'm in the middle of this and I can't... I can't see. 61 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:38,445 So I need you to yank me out of it. 62 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,822 You have to say stuff to yank me out of it. 63 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:44,409 -What about Aidan? -Yes, exactly! What about Aidan? 64 00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:46,828 What about him? 65 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:48,830 I would die if he found out. 66 00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,665 And now Big's acting jealous, 67 00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,710 and I'm so afraid that he's gonna call him or do something stupid. 68 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,420 He's already threatened to tell Natasha. 69 00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,172 Well, what did you think would happen? 70 00:04:57,255 --> 00:04:58,840 I didn't think, I just did. 71 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,259 And now I'm terrified that we've messed it all up 72 00:05:01,343 --> 00:05:03,386 and it can never be what it was supposed to be. 73 00:05:03,929 --> 00:05:06,431 It's just a big, big mess. 74 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,892 Okay, take it easy, okay? 75 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,144 I'm just so confused. 76 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,605 I mean, does he only want me now because he can't have me? 77 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:14,523 Yes. 78 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,609 -How do you really feel? -Forget about him, what do you want? 79 00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:22,155 I want everyone to get out of this without anyone getting hurt. 80 00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,616 -Well, that's realistic. -Well, why not? 81 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:28,036 You've heard those stories about affairs 82 00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:31,957 where people realize how great their other relationship is 83 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,084 and end it without anyone being the wiser? 84 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,628 I don't watch Lifetime television for women. 85 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:40,131 Carrie, you have to just stop, okay? 86 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,758 Just stop. 87 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,134 I am, I'm stopping. 88 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:45,387 I am. 89 00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,097 Good. 90 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,640 Who else knows about this? 91 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:51,810 -Samantha. Oh, and God. -Not Charlotte? 92 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,896 Oh, please, if the World According to Bride knew I was having an affair, 93 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:55,856 she'd kill me. 94 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:57,899 Well, at least you wouldn't have to be a bridesmaid. 95 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:03,405 While Miranda was trying not to judge me on the Upper East Side, 96 00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:07,325 Samantha was judging the crowd at a new hot spot on the Lower West Side. 97 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:10,745 It was a typical Downtown male mix. 98 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,874 10% Wall Street, 10% real estate, 99 00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,625 10% she'd already slept with. 100 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,880 His name was Tom Reymi. 101 00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:22,424 Excuse me. 102 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,509 A Manhattan legend. 103 00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:28,972 Straight, steadfastly single, and sexually very active. 104 00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,308 In short, the male Samantha. 105 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,643 Hi. I'm Tom Reymi. 106 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:36,313 -I know who you are, I'm-- -Oh, I know who you are. 107 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,772 It's about time we met. 108 00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:39,774 We know the same people, 109 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:41,443 we should go to dinner, blah, blah, blah. 110 00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,028 Wanna fuck? 111 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,822 Under a minute, you could qualify for the Olympics. 112 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,407 My place is-- 113 00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:52,913 So... 114 00:06:53,705 --> 00:06:54,873 Do you swing? 115 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:56,583 Swing? 116 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,044 You mean with other couples? 117 00:07:00,712 --> 00:07:01,713 No. 118 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,091 Swing. 119 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,888 Oh, my! So Cirque du Soleil. 120 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:12,307 You haven't fucked till you've fucked in the swing. 121 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,268 I've always wanted to run off and join the circus. 122 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,105 So, Samantha... 123 00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,025 When was your last AIDS test? 124 00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:25,153 Well, so much for foreplay. 125 00:07:25,236 --> 00:07:28,531 Hey, anyone who has as much sex as us has to ask, right? 126 00:07:30,367 --> 00:07:32,410 I was tested again three weeks ago. 127 00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:34,245 I'm good to go. 128 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:35,580 How about you? 129 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:38,375 Samantha didn't quite know how to tell Tom Reymi 130 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,419 the only sex test she'd ever taken was the Cosmo quiz. 131 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,921 You have been tested, right? 132 00:07:44,506 --> 00:07:47,342 No, but I'm very healthy. 133 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,052 You haven't been tested? Why? 134 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:51,262 I'm a busy girl? 135 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,347 You know, 136 00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,517 I got hard in that club just from looking at you. 137 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:56,768 And I think you and I both know 138 00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,603 what's gonna happen when we get up in that swing. 139 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,480 But, baby, 140 00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,692 I can't fuck you or eat you the way I want 141 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:05,110 unless I know it's safe. 142 00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,071 And, Samantha, 143 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:09,948 you should do me. 144 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,867 I am as good as they say. 145 00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,870 Samantha suddenly had to figure out 146 00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:18,748 just how much she wanted to do Reymi. 147 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:24,421 The pink Post-its are for the gowns I kind of like, 148 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,090 the green Post-its are for the gowns I kind of really like, 149 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,968 and the yellow Post-its are for the gowns I don't know if I like. Here. 150 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,553 Kill me, please. 151 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:34,222 Just take a sharp object and drag it across my throat. 152 00:08:34,305 --> 00:08:36,933 Stop. Miranda, you take Modern Bride. 153 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,227 Samantha. New York Bride. 154 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,021 And I'll take what, annoying bride? 155 00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:44,024 Here, Carrie. Page 211, pink Post-it, tell me what you think. 156 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:46,776 -Okey dokey. -Ooh! Cute purse. 157 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:50,488 No purses. There's no time for purses. This is gown-specific. 158 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,699 What's your theme again, a Nazi wedding? 159 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:53,992 Carrie, page 211? 160 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,578 Um, it's pretty. I like the flowers in the back. 161 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,997 Me too. And I like that old-fashioned satin bow. 162 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,124 Have you all had an AIDS test? 163 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:04,753 Good morning. Where did that come from? 164 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,964 I just met this very hot guy, 165 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,216 and he won't sleep with me unless I have a test. 166 00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:13,678 Samantha, we're looking at wedding gowns. 167 00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,930 Could you please not talk about AIDS right now? 168 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:17,807 Wait a minute. You've never had an HIV test? 169 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,684 No. Have you? 170 00:09:20,185 --> 00:09:21,186 Two. 171 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:22,937 Three. 172 00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:25,523 How do we feel about opera-length gloves? 173 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,985 Samantha, how can you not have had an AIDS test? 174 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,279 She doesn't mean that the way it sounds. It's just... 175 00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,115 Well, why not, sweetie? 176 00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,534 I always practice safe sex. 177 00:09:38,953 --> 00:09:40,538 All right, I'm terrified. 178 00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,666 -What if I have it? -You don't have it. 179 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,878 Sometimes it takes me a really long time to get over a cold. 180 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,797 That's not AIDS, that's central air conditioning. 181 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,924 Just go and get it over with. The test is nothing. 182 00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:52,550 The worst part is waiting for the results. 183 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,178 Really. And then they come out with the results 184 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,679 and they motion to certain people 185 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,724 and they take them into this little room and you know the news ain't good. 186 00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,559 I just sat there the entire time praying, 187 00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,645 "Please don't take me in that little room." 188 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:09,234 There are 1,400 gowns in this magazine and I have only seen 600 of them. 189 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:10,151 I need help. 190 00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,069 Okay, listen. 191 00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,404 You need to chill the fuck out and hire yourself a stylist. 192 00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,824 -A stylist? -Some little minion to run around town 193 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:16,908 and do your dress bidding. 194 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,202 I can hire someone to do that for me? 195 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,622 Oh, honey, this is New York City, you can hire someone to do anything. 196 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:23,957 I'll fax you some names. 197 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,501 Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. 198 00:10:26,584 --> 00:10:28,962 Now, if I could only hire someone to take that damn test. 199 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,383 Later that night, I got to thinking about safe sex. 200 00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,386 Odd, how only when our physical life is at risk 201 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:39,639 do we follow certain guidelines to protect ourselves. 202 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,683 But what about our emotional lives? 203 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,103 Wouldn't it be nice if there was a little pamphlet to warn us 204 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:49,149 what unsafe behavior might be high-risk to ourselves or our relationships? 205 00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:53,361 And even if you take all the precautions and emotionally try to protect yourself, 206 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,781 when you crawl in bed with someone, 207 00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,242 is sex ever safe? 208 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,829 Yeah, I know, but that's not my problem. All right. 209 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,581 The next day, on her way back to work, 210 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,084 Miranda was about to experience a different type of high-risk behavior. 211 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,085 Eat me. 212 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,462 Excuse me? 213 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:13,089 Eat me. 214 00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,887 Miranda was furious. 215 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:21,306 It was bad enough she had just lost a case, 216 00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:24,184 but now she was being harassed by a sandwich? 217 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,937 You want pasta, you go to Little Italy. 218 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:30,106 You want wedding, you go Wang. 219 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,900 You want the perfect wedding dress fast, 220 00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,277 go to Anthony Marantino, stylist. 221 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,695 Where is that salesgirl? 222 00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:39,240 For these prices, we should be pulling her nose out of our asses. 223 00:11:40,992 --> 00:11:43,453 Hello! Someone! Let's go! 224 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,038 Charlotte was thrilled. 225 00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:48,458 Anthony was like the pushy Italian mother she never had. 226 00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:51,586 Go, go, go! 227 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,798 Oh, I love them all. 228 00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:57,258 Char... 229 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,015 Duchess satin with the lace appliqué. 230 00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:09,687 I think the white is too white. 231 00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,522 No, but with your skin tone-- 232 00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,358 Hates it! Move on. 233 00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:17,904 The charmeuse strapless with the net overlay. 234 00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,494 Hates it! 235 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:26,996 Good beadwork, though. 236 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,708 None of these are it. None of them at all. None of them. 237 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:33,628 You're dragging! 238 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:36,923 I hope she doesn't think I'm a bitch. 239 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,176 She's not paid to think, she's paid to make you happy. 240 00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:43,054 It's just that I've been imagining my wedding dress 241 00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:46,015 ever since I was a little girl, and I want it to be just perfect. 242 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,727 Char, not for nothing, I've done this a million times. 243 00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:50,812 Don't worry. 244 00:12:51,354 --> 00:12:53,231 You'll know the right dress when you see it. 245 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:57,568 Anthony. 246 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,071 Char... 247 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,156 That's it. 248 00:13:05,535 --> 00:13:08,830 And across town, Samantha felt as though she might cry as well. 249 00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,207 Have you had an HIV test before? 250 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:12,792 No. 251 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,919 And why are you taking this test? 252 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:16,963 I... 253 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:18,756 feel... 254 00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:21,259 you know, it's, um-- 255 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:22,760 Are you feeling all right? 256 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:26,389 -I'm sorry, I'm really nervous. -Try to relax. 257 00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,141 There's just a couple of routine questions, 258 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,183 nothing to be alarmed about. 259 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,312 Okay. Thanks. 260 00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,731 Now... Do you have sex? 261 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:35,773 Yes. 262 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:39,110 Do you have oral sex? Give? Receive? 263 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,195 Yes, yes, yes. 264 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,281 Do you have anal sex? 265 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:44,949 Yes. 266 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:46,701 Do you swallow? 267 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:48,536 Only when surprised. 268 00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:51,122 Do you use condoms? 269 00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:52,623 Yes. 270 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:53,791 What kind of condoms? 271 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:57,628 Trojan, Lifestyles, Sheik, Wet N' Wild-- 272 00:13:57,712 --> 00:14:00,882 No, I meant latex, lambskin? 273 00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,633 Oh, yes, yes. 274 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:06,012 How many sexual partners have you had? 275 00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:14,729 I'm counting. 276 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,444 Um, this year? 277 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,405 While Samantha tried to remember her sexual past, 278 00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,742 I came face to face with my sexual present. 279 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,953 Mmm... Mmm... 280 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,121 Stop. 281 00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:33,998 Stop what? 282 00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:35,666 You're making that sound. 283 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,295 That "mmm-mmm" kissing sound. 284 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,381 It's annoying. 285 00:14:43,299 --> 00:14:45,009 That's a sound I make, I guess. 286 00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,306 Come here. I'll try not to do it anymore. 287 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,522 Look, Ma, no sound. 288 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:04,737 Mmm... 289 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:11,077 I can't breathe. I can't breathe! 290 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,292 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 291 00:15:22,964 --> 00:15:23,965 Hey. 292 00:15:24,799 --> 00:15:26,467 Don't go, don't go. 293 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:29,554 You know, I just, I don't... I don't get it. 294 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,222 You used to like that sound I make. 295 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,890 I love that sound. 296 00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:39,689 Where are you going? 297 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,983 I'm going to go home. I need a little time. 298 00:15:42,984 --> 00:15:47,155 I'm just in a weird place right now, but I'll be out of it soon, I promise. 299 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:51,409 I'm sorry. 300 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,331 Say it's okay. 301 00:15:58,416 --> 00:15:59,500 It's okay. 302 00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,254 What can I do? 303 00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:06,549 Nothing, it's me, it's all me. 304 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,428 I just need time to figure it out. 305 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,430 Maybe I'll give you a little room to do that. 306 00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:14,765 You're not saying that in a bad way, right? 307 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:18,227 No. 308 00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,105 I'll be right downtown. 309 00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:26,694 Hey, buddy. 310 00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:28,863 Call me later? 311 00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,490 It's 1:00 in the morning. 312 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,325 I'll call you tomorrow. 313 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:34,952 Make the noise. 314 00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:36,412 Please make the noise. 315 00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:38,623 Mmm. 316 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,677 Good night, nut. 317 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,429 I'm sorry. 318 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,017 I didn't know what I was doing, 319 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:02,772 but I was pretty sure I had just entered high-risk relationship behavior. 320 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,442 Eat me. 321 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:07,985 Three days later, Miranda had finally 322 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,820 gotten her fill of the sandwich. 323 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:11,531 Okay, that's it. 324 00:17:11,614 --> 00:17:13,491 You're not allowed to harass women like that. 325 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,159 Eat me. 326 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,327 We'll see about that. 327 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,456 Welcome to Blimpie, how may I help you? 328 00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:22,917 Hi. 329 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,627 I'd like to speak to the manager, please. 330 00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:25,670 Yeah, that's me. 331 00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:26,921 Okay, then, listen. 332 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:28,297 That sandwich out front 333 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,092 is saying sexually explicit things to women as they walk by. 334 00:17:31,509 --> 00:17:33,010 -What'd he say? -"Eat me." 335 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,012 Yeah, he's a sandwich. 336 00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:36,973 No, he didn't say it in the sandwich way, 337 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,517 he said it in the sexual harassing way. 338 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,561 Lady, he's a sandwich. 339 00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:48,526 Eat me. 340 00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,778 Oh, you're so brave inside your sandwich! 341 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,615 And then, Miranda glimpsed just enough 342 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:59,620 of his full lips and shiny white teeth to stop thinking about the sandwich 343 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,206 and start wondering about the man inside the bun. 344 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:05,501 -I can't stop thinking about him. 345 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,212 You're telling me you're turned on by a sandwich? 346 00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:09,797 Well, I... 347 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,841 I think it's the fact that I can't see him. 348 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,843 It's dangerous or something. 349 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,970 I think that is one fresh sandwich. 350 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:19,473 His voice is so sexy, but he's probably a troll. 351 00:18:19,557 --> 00:18:23,019 I mean, any man who propositions a woman from inside a big sandwich 352 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,812 has got to be a troll, right? 353 00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:25,896 I don't know. 354 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:27,481 You think he's white meat? 355 00:18:32,695 --> 00:18:33,738 Oh, wow. 356 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,906 That's the first laugh I've had in weeks. 357 00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:37,908 Thank the sandwich for me when you're having sex with him, huh? 358 00:18:37,992 --> 00:18:40,953 I... I can't have sex with a sandwich. 359 00:18:42,246 --> 00:18:43,247 Can I? 360 00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,499 Well, I never thought I'd have sex with a married ex. 361 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,084 Can a hoagie be that far behind? 362 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:50,004 Oh, Miranda. 363 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,256 What the hell am I gonna do? 364 00:18:57,678 --> 00:19:00,556 As Samantha sat and waited for her test results, 365 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,725 she had one thought over and over. 366 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:05,728 "Please, don't let them take me into that little room." 367 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,356 Miss Jones, I've got your results. Please come with me. 368 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,074 Samantha began to realize 369 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,451 she was being taken into that little room. 370 00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:25,498 She was perfectly healthy. 371 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:29,335 The nurse just wanted a quiet place to lecture her on safe sex practices. 372 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:36,092 Later that week, somehow I found myself back at the corner of 56th and safe. 373 00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,055 How much? 374 00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:42,807 Excuse me? 375 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:44,934 I see you here before. 376 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,145 For sex. How much? 377 00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,025 All right, that's it, I'm out of here. 378 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,319 That Japanese businessman thinks I'm a hooker. 379 00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,821 Wait a minute. Carrie! 380 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,037 Carrie? 381 00:20:05,454 --> 00:20:07,498 Oh my God. What are you doing in this neighborhood? 382 00:20:07,581 --> 00:20:09,542 Carrie, can we... 383 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:15,881 Hey. 384 00:20:17,842 --> 00:20:19,969 You know, uh, I was doing business in the area 385 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,637 and we kind of bumped into each other. 386 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,347 Charlotte, how are you? 387 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:27,268 I just checked on my wedding dress. It's at a tailor and, uh-- 388 00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:30,062 -Charlotte... -I better go. 389 00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,355 Wait, Charlotte. 390 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,526 Well, that was that, 391 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:36,944 Now nowhere was safe. 392 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,238 Not even 56th and 8th. 393 00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:44,493 It was a force bigger than me, like... 394 00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:47,329 Niagara Falls or something, you know? 395 00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,790 No, I don't know. He's married. 396 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,876 -I know he's married. 397 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,545 That makes you the other woman. You're the other woman. 398 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:56,297 I am not the other woman. 399 00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,340 I'm not. I mean... 400 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,050 I know I am, but... 401 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:02,887 I am not that woman. 402 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:05,556 Please, Charlotte, I feel bad enough already. 403 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:07,725 Good, you should feel bad. 404 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:09,894 Do you ever think about how she'd feel if she found out? 405 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,353 Yes, I think about it all the time. 406 00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:12,605 No, you don't. 407 00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:15,316 You think about what would happen to you if she found out. 408 00:21:15,399 --> 00:21:16,734 You don't think about her. 409 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:20,070 She's just the idiot wife. You don't know anything about her. 410 00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:22,406 Okay, in a minute, I'm gonna suffocate myself in this bubble wrap. 411 00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:24,241 This isn't a joke, Carrie. 412 00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:27,411 They took vows. Vows he broke. 413 00:21:27,495 --> 00:21:29,205 I'm getting married in three weeks. 414 00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,915 How would you feel if someone did this to me? 415 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:33,959 I would kill them. 416 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:39,256 How could you do this? 417 00:21:39,340 --> 00:21:42,009 I mean, you're my maid of honor. 418 00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:44,762 I'm getting out, I am. 419 00:21:45,596 --> 00:21:47,181 Can I please help you pack now? 420 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,850 So we stood and bubble-wrapped, 421 00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:52,937 the bride-to-be and her maid of dishonor. 422 00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:59,693 A week of fantasizing hot sex with the unknown man inside the sandwich 423 00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:01,153 had gotten to Miranda. 424 00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:05,115 Safe or not, she needed to at least see who it was she was dealing with. 425 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,202 Hi. Look, this is so silly. 426 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:09,370 Eat me. 427 00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:11,914 Let me see your face. 428 00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:22,424 Even though he was kind of cute Miranda walked away. 429 00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:25,219 After all, what did they really have in common? 430 00:22:25,761 --> 00:22:27,888 She was a lawyer and he was a sandwich. 431 00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:34,270 Later that day at Tom Reymi's, after a week of sheer anxiety, 432 00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:38,399 Samantha enjoyed the benefits of totally safe sex. 433 00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:45,573 -Oh, yes. 434 00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:49,618 Ow! 435 00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,787 Take your time. Um, you know, shower, 436 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:53,789 there's stuff in the kitchen if you're hungry. 437 00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,165 It was the lowest of the low. 438 00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:57,877 I had just finished making love to my married ex-boyfriend 439 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,045 on his lunch hour at his apartment 440 00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:03,841 while his 25-year-old wife was sunning herself at the Hamptons. 441 00:23:03,924 --> 00:23:04,925 Jesus. 442 00:23:06,135 --> 00:23:06,969 What? 443 00:23:08,053 --> 00:23:10,014 Could I feel any more like a hooker? 444 00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:17,521 Why do you keep doing that to yourself? 445 00:23:18,147 --> 00:23:19,273 Hmm? 446 00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:21,191 I think we should stop seeing each other. 447 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:24,361 Why? 448 00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:30,492 You're married. 449 00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:34,455 All right, hand me the phone, I'm going to call her right now. 450 00:23:34,538 --> 00:23:36,957 -Hand me the phone. -Don't be ridiculous. 451 00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:40,461 And what are you going to do? You're going to call her at the beach 452 00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:43,213 and say that you love me and you want a divorce? 453 00:23:43,297 --> 00:23:44,715 You don't want me to call her 454 00:23:44,798 --> 00:23:46,717 because you're still in love with that other guy. 455 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,052 This is about that other guy. 456 00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:50,387 The other guy has a name, it's Aidan. 457 00:23:50,471 --> 00:23:53,223 -And you have a wife, Natasha. -Give me the phone. 458 00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:55,809 And if you really wanted to tell her, you would have told her by now. 459 00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:57,728 What the fuck? You told me not to tell her. 460 00:24:01,523 --> 00:24:03,150 Here, call her. 461 00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:09,740 If I make that call, are you gonna be there for me? 462 00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,618 Are we gonna do this, really? 463 00:24:13,494 --> 00:24:19,583 I mean, out in the daylight, no cocktails, no hotel rooms, real life. 464 00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:22,336 Carrie, in or out? 465 00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:28,175 I need more time. 466 00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:33,472 I'm calling her Monday. 467 00:24:36,058 --> 00:24:37,101 I have to go. 468 00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:38,602 You know how to let yourself out. 469 00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:40,688 I couldn't help but wonder 470 00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:43,107 if I really did know the way to let myself out. 471 00:24:50,406 --> 00:24:51,532 Charlotte was right. 472 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,951 What did I really know about Natasha? 473 00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,455 Natasha is a woman who likes tea roses. 474 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:06,088 Natasha is a woman who collects antique sugar bowls. 475 00:25:07,006 --> 00:25:08,007 Honey? 476 00:25:08,465 --> 00:25:11,301 Natasha is a woman who comes home from the Hamptons early. 477 00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:14,471 Honey, are you here? I took the Jitney home. 478 00:25:18,684 --> 00:25:19,685 Sweetheart? 479 00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:25,024 -Honey? -Oh! 480 00:25:27,693 --> 00:25:30,237 Carrie, I see you! 481 00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:32,239 Wait! 482 00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:35,743 I knew you were having an affair, but not in my house! 483 00:25:35,826 --> 00:25:37,661 Stop. I'm talking to you! 484 00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:48,756 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 485 00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:52,468 I had always assumed the one who would be hurt in all this would be me. 486 00:25:53,177 --> 00:25:54,178 Taxi! 487 00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:03,854 Near... Nearest hospital. 488 00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:33,383 Is she all right? 489 00:26:33,467 --> 00:26:35,385 She lost a tooth and needed a stitch in her lip. 490 00:26:35,469 --> 00:26:37,638 They had a plastic surgeon, and it won't scar. 491 00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:39,139 She's scared and swollen. 492 00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:44,394 Her parents are on the way. 493 00:26:44,478 --> 00:26:45,604 I have to go. 494 00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:48,065 Carrie. Hey. 495 00:26:50,317 --> 00:26:51,485 Thanks for being here. 496 00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:55,906 I'll call you. 497 00:26:58,742 --> 00:26:59,868 For what? 498 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,329 We're so over. 499 00:27:03,956 --> 00:27:05,499 We need a new word for "over." 500 00:27:09,211 --> 00:27:10,045 Carrie. 501 00:27:30,691 --> 00:27:31,692 Surprise. 502 00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:34,403 Where you been all day? 503 00:27:36,029 --> 00:27:37,030 Oh... 504 00:27:37,114 --> 00:27:40,117 I just went to a museum. I was walking around. 505 00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:42,286 Oh, yeah? How was that? 506 00:27:43,078 --> 00:27:44,079 It was good. 507 00:27:45,706 --> 00:27:47,124 I'm just gonna wash my face, I'll be right in. 508 00:27:47,207 --> 00:27:48,041 Okay. 509 00:27:59,803 --> 00:28:03,223 Somehow, I had found a way to let myself out of the mess 510 00:28:03,307 --> 00:28:05,184 and I'd made it home.