1 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,427 In a city where cynicism is as prevalent as pashmina, 2 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,012 there is nothing more hopeful 3 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,306 than the "getting ready for the first date" routine. 4 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,600 His name was Will O'Connor. 5 00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:02,688 He was a smart, cute urban planner Miranda had met at Starbucks, 6 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:05,524 when he had mistaken her latte for his double cap 7 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:08,986 and had offered to make it up to her by buying her a real drink that Saturday. 8 00:01:09,361 --> 00:01:12,781 Samantha preferred the "saying good night to the first date" routine. 9 00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,783 His name was Sebastian Wise. 10 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:17,494 For Sam, it was a very good night. 11 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:21,832 Meanwhile, uptown, Trey and Charlotte were practicing their new routine. 12 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,668 All righty. Schooner's got the sails up. 13 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,253 Yes, I can feel it. 14 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:30,132 All righty, I'm bringing it into the harbor. 15 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,217 -Bring it in. -Okay. 16 00:01:33,969 --> 00:01:36,305 All right. Here I come. 17 00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:39,891 Come. 18 00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,022 Honey? 19 00:01:47,691 --> 00:01:50,485 The wind died. I'm sorry. 20 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:56,825 After a week of the same routine, 21 00:01:56,908 --> 00:02:00,162 the only thing getting up in their bed was Charlotte's libido. 22 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:05,042 As for me, my routine had become very routine. 23 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:08,045 I was spending almost every night in, working. 24 00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:13,925 -Hello. -Okay. My date is three hours late. 25 00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:15,594 I'm being stood up, right? 26 00:02:16,053 --> 00:02:18,221 -Maybe he got lost. -Carrie. 27 00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:20,390 -No, doesn't look good. -Oh! 28 00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:22,601 And I'm wearing a new dress from Barneys. 29 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,186 And I'm eating out of plastic. 30 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,229 Oh, man, I'm sorry. 31 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,814 He doesn't even know me. 32 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:30,776 The least he could do is wait to get to know me before he rejects me. 33 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:33,028 Yeah, that's illegal dumping. 34 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,740 It's crazy. This hasn't happened to me since I'm 27. 35 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,368 I'm older. I should know better. 36 00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:42,245 I thought I'd got a little smarter about picking them now. You know? 37 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,748 I can't believe guys still stand girls up. 38 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:47,542 I can't believe I'm eating a frozen dinner. 39 00:02:47,626 --> 00:02:49,044 I'm such a cliché. 40 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,754 Do you wanna grab a drink or something? 41 00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,464 No, I can't. I have to work. 42 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:56,051 I agreed to teach these stupid Learning Annex classes. 43 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,553 They're calling it "Bright Lights, Date City." 44 00:02:58,637 --> 00:03:01,139 Ugh! I'm so embarrassed for you. 45 00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:03,225 Hey, they're paying me 300 bucks a pop. 46 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:06,937 It's a seminar on where to meet men. Apparently, I'm an expert. 47 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,855 Tell them to steer clear of Starbucks. 48 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,108 Who would pay for something like this? 49 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,151 Now? Maybe me. 50 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,655 Okay, gotta go. 51 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,449 This dress is making a mockery of me. 52 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,076 I'm sorry, sweetie. Bye. 53 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,036 Please. Bye. 54 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,873 Stood up at 27, Miranda had done nothing. 55 00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:32,003 At 34, she decided she wasn't going to take this stand-up lying down. 56 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,798 Will may have given her the cold shoulder, 57 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,342 but he had also given her his home number. 58 00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,928 - Hello? -Hi. Is Will there? 59 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:42,889 -Who's speaking, please? -Miranda Hobbes. 60 00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,726 Miranda, this is Will's mother. 61 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:47,394 Well, Will's mother. 62 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:51,815 I don't know how you raised your son, but he just stood me up for a date. 63 00:03:52,482 --> 00:03:53,900 Will died today. 64 00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,656 -They're starting to die on us. -Oh, my God. 65 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,324 At least you weren't stood up. 66 00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,119 Thirty-five and they're dying. We should just give up now. 67 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:07,164 Well, on the bright side, this could explain why they don't call back. 68 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,165 -Hmm. -How did he... 69 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,416 -Heart attack. -Oh. 70 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:10,333 At the gym. 71 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,669 -See, this is why I don't work out. -Do you want to hear the worst part? 72 00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:16,214 I felt so bad, I told his mother I would go to the wake. 73 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:17,966 -You don't even know him. -Well... 74 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:20,051 And it's safe to say, she never will. 75 00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:21,845 Well, I, for one, am far from being dead. 76 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:25,348 I just got us reservations at Samba next week. 77 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,392 Oh, fancy. 78 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,685 But I could only get us a four-top. 79 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,645 Do you think Trey would mind staying home? 80 00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:34,024 No. He doesn't seem up for much these days. 81 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,530 Charlotte, is everything okay? 82 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,286 We've been trying, you know, to... 83 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:47,871 Fuck? 84 00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:50,624 Whatever. And it's just not... 85 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,375 Getting big and hard? 86 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,127 What is this? Dirty mad libs? 87 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:58,215 I love him, and he's trying, but this is so frustrating. 88 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,132 Of course it is. 89 00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:02,969 I mean, last night I got so turned on, I almost... 90 00:05:03,637 --> 00:05:06,723 Hey, you almost masturbated, he almost got it up, 91 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,475 together, you almost had sex. 92 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:12,229 Right next to my husband, I feel so ashamed. 93 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,772 Everybody masturbates. 94 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,900 -I did it this morning. -That explains why I got your voicemail. 95 00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,860 He masturbates and he reads porn. 96 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,696 But when it comes to dealing with me, nothing. 97 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:23,406 -Madonna-whore. -You think? 98 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,116 Absolutely. 99 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:28,495 Trey sees you as his virginal wife, not as a sexual plaything. 100 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:32,707 You're not going to get anywhere until you change how he sees you. 101 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:34,209 I don't know if I can do that. 102 00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,628 Yes, you can. Come on. You're sexy. 103 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:39,589 He should see you. You're something to see. 104 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,466 Oh, yeah. 105 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,720 The next night, I realized first-hand 106 00:05:45,804 --> 00:05:48,890 just how many desperate New York women there actually were out there. 107 00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:50,934 Wow. 108 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:52,477 Hi. 109 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,273 Hello. 110 00:05:57,315 --> 00:06:00,861 Gosh, I'm flattered that so many of you ladies showed up to hear me talk. 111 00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:02,779 Well, um... 112 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:07,742 The fact is, I have had a lot of experience with men. 113 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:11,746 Some of it good, some of it bad, and some of it very, very ugly. 114 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:18,128 Well, there are two million single men in this city. 115 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:21,298 -I have dated about a million of them. 116 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:25,552 Um, and all these men are right outside your door. 117 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,846 So the next time you step out in the morning 118 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:31,766 with your shoes and your tote and your traveling cappuccino, 119 00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:33,977 take a look around, because I'm telling you, 120 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,813 our little metropolis, it is stacked with men. 121 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,773 You never know who you're going to run into. 122 00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:42,152 You can turn a corner, and boom! Bright lights, date city. 123 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,284 Could you be more specific? 124 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,537 Um, you mean, like, places to meet men? 125 00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,123 Sure. Um... 126 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:58,126 Well, let's see. Uh, Samba. 127 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,547 Um, any sporting... Sports bars... Mickey Mantle's. 128 00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:03,715 Oh! I've gone there. 129 00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:05,634 -All the men were married. 130 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,510 Oh, really? Hmm. 131 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,012 Okay. Well, uh... 132 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:11,473 Let's see. Um... 133 00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:14,517 Well, I once met this fellow on the Hampton Jitney. 134 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:16,770 Of course, it turned out that he couldn't drive, 135 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:19,689 and he was on some sort of parole program. 136 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,149 So, I guess that's a bad example. 137 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,069 Suddenly, I felt like the bad example. 138 00:07:25,403 --> 00:07:26,529 Uh, yes, you. 139 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,407 -Are you married? -Um, no. 140 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:31,993 Yes, you right there. 141 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:36,456 -Have you ever been married? -Um, no, not that I'm aware of. No. 142 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,249 Yes, you, all the way in the back there. Yes. 143 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,627 -How old are you? 144 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:42,253 Look... 145 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:46,257 I'm really not an expert on men, okay? I just write about this stuff. 146 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,886 Then why are we paying to hear you talk about it? 147 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,224 Hey. Hey, come on. Be quiet. 148 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:56,893 She's older than us. We can learn something. 149 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,730 The only thing I had learned that night at the Learning Annex 150 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,857 was that maybe I should have stayed home. 151 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:06,111 Can I smoke in here? Is that all right? 152 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,404 No. 153 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,698 If you stay single in New York long enough, 154 00:08:09,781 --> 00:08:11,992 you're supposed to get wiser about dating. 155 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:14,035 What men to pick, where to meet them... 156 00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:17,038 But what really made any of us experts? 157 00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:20,709 Wasn't our single status a neon sign that we couldn't get it right? 158 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:23,795 What if all these years in New York have only made us older, 159 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:26,172 more confused, or dead? 160 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,134 Are we getting wiser or just older? 161 00:08:29,884 --> 00:08:30,885 -I swear to God, 162 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:33,430 if they'd been holding tomatoes instead of Louis Vuitton clutches, 163 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,556 I'd be dead woman. 164 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,224 Or at least gazpacho. 165 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:39,185 Do you know that there are no available men out there? 166 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:42,647 Uh, we're at my date's wake, so, yes. 167 00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:45,984 -Gosh. They were so hostile. -Fuck them. 168 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,361 Well, maybe they're right, I mean, what do I know about men? 169 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,197 All I have is a bunch of failed relationships. 170 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,450 -And one affair. -Thanks. 171 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,745 As if being dead-person adjacent isn't bad enough. 172 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,289 I'm supposed to teach another one of these classes next week. 173 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,498 What am I gonna do? 174 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:01,791 Hire a bodyguard. 175 00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,420 This is my first wake. 176 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,005 Don't expect a goodie bag. 177 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,967 Oh, my god, open casket. 178 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,178 No, no, no. I've never seen a dead body before. 179 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,346 -Let's get out of here. -We can't. People are looking at us. 180 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:29,235 Oh, wow. 181 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,862 He's cute. 182 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,655 Was. 183 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,575 Damn! 184 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:42,957 See, this would have helped me. 185 00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:45,168 A place to meet men, an after-wake party. 186 00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,505 -He had money set aside for this. -It's nice. 187 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,673 "I'm dead, you're not. Enjoy the buffet." 188 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:53,843 Damn it, I like him even more now. He was organized enough to have a will. 189 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,762 And some very attractive friends. 190 00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,806 This place is lousy with men. 191 00:09:57,889 --> 00:09:59,557 Look how freaked out they all look. 192 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:02,227 That's 'cause they know any minute, boom, they're out of here. 193 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,020 Carrie? 194 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,648 Hey, it's me, Jim. 195 00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:10,693 Oh, my God. Hey! 196 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,612 Jim. Hey, I... 197 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,114 Your hair. 198 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:17,992 Yeah, I know, I cut it for a real job. I'm an engineer now. 199 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:19,702 -On the railroad? -Civil. 200 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:24,124 -What happened to the band? -Turns out I really wasn't talented. 201 00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:28,711 Oh, wow. Oh, Miranda, sorry, this is... this is Jim. 202 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:32,715 -We dated like a grillion years ago. -Or eight. 203 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,509 Miranda. Nice to meet you. 204 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,680 I'd ask if you two were having fun, but that seems totally inappropriate. 205 00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:40,598 It is, and we are. Thanks. 206 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:44,060 -So, you were friends with Will? -May he rest. 207 00:10:44,144 --> 00:10:45,395 Roommates in college. 208 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:48,982 It was weird, we were friends, but we were really competitive. 209 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,109 We were always fighting it out for everything. 210 00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:54,904 I mean, look, he even died first, just to beat me to the punch. 211 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,323 - Bad. -But you laughed. 212 00:10:58,074 --> 00:11:00,076 Oh, you guys were the classic frenemies. 213 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,036 Frenemies. Nice word. 214 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,080 -Well, I'm a full-time writer now. -I know. 215 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,457 -I'm a lawyer. -And I'm not drunk enough. 216 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:09,210 -Can I get you ladies anything? -Oh, a martini. 217 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,421 -No. -Don't go anywhere. I'll be back. 218 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,590 He's kind of cute. 219 00:11:16,092 --> 00:11:18,428 -He's kind of an asshole. -Really? 220 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:19,804 Oh, yes, indeedy. 221 00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:21,472 But he seems great. 222 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,058 Oh, sure, that's what I thought too, when I started dating him. 223 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,477 Then when we both knew it wasn't working and I broke up with him, 224 00:11:26,561 --> 00:11:28,104 "Hello, asshole." 225 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:32,609 You know, like, snide comments, and rumor spreading, the works. 226 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,068 -But he's so cute. -Hmm. 227 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:36,905 -Incoming. -Outgoing. 228 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,074 -Here you go, Miranda. -Thanks. 229 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,119 I would love to stay and chat inappropriately, 230 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,246 but I'm due to give a toast in the other room. 231 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,582 So, this is kind of a working wake for you. 232 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,502 Listen, I'd love to get together with you sometime. 233 00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:52,629 Oh, um... 234 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,756 Here's my card. 235 00:11:54,839 --> 00:11:57,091 My e-mail address is on the back, and my cell. 236 00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:02,513 Apparently, Will's death had turned Miranda into my target audience: 237 00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:03,932 a desperate woman. 238 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:07,810 -Downtown, Samantha was getting wise, 239 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,854 Sebastian Wise, again. 240 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:14,317 While uptown, Charlotte was getting nothing at all. 241 00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:18,154 I'm telling you, we almost broke the bed. 242 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,280 You can't break a bed. 243 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,115 What does this stallion do for a living? 244 00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:22,659 -I'm not sure. -Oh. 245 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,786 Hey, does he go to Mickey Mantle's? 246 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:25,828 You got me. 247 00:12:26,537 --> 00:12:29,040 How can you not know anything about him? You slept with him. 248 00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:31,960 I fucked him. He made me come six times. 249 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:33,586 It's good enough for me. 250 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,046 Stop it. 251 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,342 Why do you always have to talk about sex like that? 252 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,219 Because I can. 253 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:43,888 Okay, girls, simmer down. Mommy hasn't had her caffeine yet. 254 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:46,015 I... I can't take this anymore. 255 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,350 Oh, hey. Frittatas. 256 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,646 Sex is something special that's supposed to happen 257 00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,731 between two people who love each other. 258 00:12:53,815 --> 00:12:56,317 -Or two people who love sex. -Oh, my God! You're such a-- 259 00:12:56,401 --> 00:12:58,861 A what? What am I, Charlotte? 260 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:01,239 When are you gonna learn that you can't just sleep 261 00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:02,907 with everything that comes along. 262 00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,535 Hey, Mrs. Softie, at least I'm getting laid. 263 00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,204 And you can forget Samba. 264 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:13,293 That girl needs a stick out of her ass and a dick in her coochie, pronto. 265 00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,378 -Am I right? -Not getting involved. 266 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:16,796 I'm with her. 267 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,966 You know what? I don't need this. 268 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:23,094 Maybe you guys should forget Samba too. 269 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,477 -We knew this was coming. -It was so sad and petty. 270 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:36,316 -I'm staying way out of this one. -Way out. New Jersey out. 271 00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:39,652 Okay, speaking of petty, 272 00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:41,738 how upset would you be if I went out with Jim? 273 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:46,617 -Jim, Old Boyfriend Jim? -He called me. 274 00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:51,998 Oh! Miranda, no, honey, he so needs to be voted off the island. 275 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:56,169 I know how you feel, but he was so sweet on the phone and... 276 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,505 It was eight years ago, Carrie. Maybe he's learned something. 277 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,466 I mean, haven't you learned anything in eight years? 278 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:02,550 Apparently not. 279 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,428 He's alive and he asked me out. 280 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,555 I'm a little fragile right now. 281 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:09,640 Okay, fine, go. Go. 282 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,226 And you know what they say, one woman's asshole is another woman's-- 283 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,227 A-hole. 284 00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:15,438 Well, as long as you're okay with it. 285 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:19,233 Later that week, Charlotte decided 286 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:22,403 if she was ever going to get Trey to see the sexual part of her, 287 00:14:22,487 --> 00:14:23,780 she'd have to dress the part. 288 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,990 I'm going to get him to notice me, Carrie. I have to. 289 00:14:26,741 --> 00:14:29,035 -I think that's a bottom. -Oh. 290 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:32,580 You know, if you're gonna go the lingerie route, why not go La Perla 291 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:36,751 or something a little more upscale and a little less flammable? 292 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,961 I don't wanna be me. I wanna be someone else. 293 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:41,089 Well, that's the basis for a healthy relationship. 294 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:42,924 What about these? What do these say? 295 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,717 Um, read my lips. 296 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,846 I want to be "call girl meets Park Avenue." 297 00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:51,808 Then you're gonna have to pair that with a nice little cardigan. 298 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:55,770 Oh, this is important to me, Carrie. I need him to see me sexually. 299 00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:58,439 I know you do, sweetie. I'm just not sure I need to. 300 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,318 You know, this is much more a Samantha job. 301 00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,695 Ugh, please. I need a break from her. 302 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:08,533 You shouldn't be so hard on her. She doesn't mean to be hurtful. 303 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:10,701 Well, she was. 304 00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:13,496 Well, I believe there were two of you ruining my breakfast. 305 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,666 You know what, I have enough problems in my life right now. 306 00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,376 I really don't need any lectures. 307 00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:23,714 It was my second lecture that week that was a failure. 308 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,677 And across town, Samantha decided the wise thing to do was 309 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,221 to take a break from all of us and go shopping. 310 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,184 Oh, I'm sorry. 311 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,145 Let it go, and no one gets hurt. 312 00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,689 I think I was holding it first. 313 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:41,649 I know tae kwon do. 314 00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:43,067 I know the manager. 315 00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,657 You're spunky. I like spunky women. 316 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:52,535 -We're a dying breed. -No kidding. 317 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,664 I'm Claire Anne. Don't let the southern accent fool you. 318 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,667 I'm Samantha. Nothing fools me. 319 00:16:01,252 --> 00:16:04,005 I tell you what, I'll let you have this scarf 320 00:16:04,088 --> 00:16:08,759 if you show me where a gal can get a hard drink in a dark bar around here. 321 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,720 Done and done. 322 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,389 -Well, my last date died. 323 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:16,642 So, the fact that you're still breathing makes this a huge success. 324 00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,728 -Low standards. I like that. 325 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,863 -This was really nice. -Yeah, it was. 326 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,908 You know, Carrie wasn't sure that we would get along. 327 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:35,495 She knew me a long time ago. I've changed. 328 00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:39,790 I mean, back then, I was in a band called Uncle Ted's Ass. 329 00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,876 -And I could sit on my hair. 330 00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:43,586 Wow, that's impressive. 331 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:45,588 You didn't hear us play. 332 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:57,016 -I'd like to see you again. -I'd like that. 333 00:16:58,476 --> 00:17:00,520 -Good night. -Night. 334 00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:07,068 The next morning, Miranda called with the post mortem 335 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,528 on her last date with Jim. 336 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,783 -Hello? -Hey, it's me. 337 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:14,992 Oh! Thank God. 338 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,620 I thought it was the Learning Annex bugging me about my class. 339 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,081 -When's that? -Twelfth of Never Gonna Happen. 340 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:23,167 Do you know, people actually asked for refunds after my first class. 341 00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:26,087 -What do they know? -Apparently, more than I do. 342 00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:28,297 I feel like a total sham. 343 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:31,259 Oh, easy. That's my friend you're talking about there. 344 00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:32,176 Hmm. 345 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,972 So, I went out with Jim. 346 00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:38,099 Don't make me say "I told you so." 347 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:41,644 Carrie, it was great. It was fun and romantic. 348 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,187 We talked so long, we closed the restaurant. 349 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:44,272 I think you're wrong about him. 350 00:17:44,355 --> 00:17:45,439 I think this could be good. 351 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:48,317 Are we talking about the same Jim. Jim, Asshole Jim? 352 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:51,487 -He's not an asshole. -Yeah, not till you break up with him. 353 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:53,823 Come on, he says the great things about you. 354 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:54,782 He does? 355 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:58,369 -I'm going out with him again on Friday. -Go, Godspeed. 356 00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:03,040 Carrie, I feel weird dating a guy that you don't like. 357 00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:04,792 We should all go out. 358 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,503 Have a drink sometime. One drink. 359 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,505 Question. What do you know about this guy? 360 00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:11,132 You've been on one date with him. 361 00:18:11,215 --> 00:18:13,342 What do you know about him? It's been eight years. 362 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,677 Think about the drink. 363 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,930 Uptown, Charlotte decided this would be a good time 364 00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:20,141 to spend with her real old friends, 365 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:22,226 the sisters of Kappa Kappa Gamma. 366 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:25,354 Oh, my goodness. Has it been forever or what? 367 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,272 It has. 368 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:29,358 It is so great to see you, Charlotte. We've really missed you. 369 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,361 And I have missed you. You have no idea. 370 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:36,324 Well, congratulations on your wedding. Welcome to the married old gals' club. 371 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,327 He is so handsome. 372 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,080 Oh, my God. I would like to trade my husband in for him, please. 373 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,083 She knew they would understand her. 374 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:48,085 After all, they were all married too. 375 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:52,256 I remember being a newly-wed. We hardly ever got out of bed. 376 00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:55,551 - Sydney! -What? It's just us girls. 377 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,012 My husband can't get it up. 378 00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:01,474 Perhaps, it would've been wiser for Charlotte to have had 379 00:19:01,557 --> 00:19:04,060 a kappa-kappa-cappuccino instead of that third martini. 380 00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,728 I'm so frustrated. 381 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:07,355 Charlotte? 382 00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:10,900 I mean, don't you ever just want to be really pounded hard? You know... 383 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:15,488 Like when the bed is moving all around, and it's all sweaty, 384 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:18,366 and your head is knocking up against the headboard 385 00:19:18,449 --> 00:19:20,284 and you feel it like it might just blow off? 386 00:19:20,951 --> 00:19:24,538 Damn it, I just really wanna be fucked! You know, just really fucked. 387 00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:29,251 The only heads blowing off were those of Kappa Kappa Grandma. 388 00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:30,711 Charlotte. 389 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:35,299 -This is really inappropriate. -Yeah, we're eating. 390 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,760 What's wrong with you Charlotte? You're such a-- 391 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:38,969 What? 392 00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:40,179 What am I, Sydney? 393 00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:45,267 Charlotte realized how much they'd all changed since college. 394 00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,230 Her friends had become frenemies. 395 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:52,483 And to them, she had become Samantha. 396 00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,154 Here's to new friends. 397 00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,990 And gorgeous New York men. 398 00:20:00,074 --> 00:20:00,991 Mmm! 399 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:06,997 Hey, would you like to join me at Samba on Friday night? 400 00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:10,668 Two hot broads at a hot restaurant. I love it. 401 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,295 The reservation's for four. 402 00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:21,512 Done and done. 403 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:26,016 An hour later, Samantha couldn't believe 404 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:27,643 how much fun she was having. 405 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:31,397 She had finally found a woman who was as open about her sexuality as she was. 406 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,690 I call the blonde. 407 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,401 Oh. 408 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,319 You are too cute. 409 00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:39,405 I could just eat you up. 410 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:41,532 Yes, I could. 411 00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:45,119 I'm gonna eat you up. 412 00:20:47,872 --> 00:20:49,415 -Claire Anne? 413 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,840 -Oh, my God. -Excellent. 414 00:21:01,135 --> 00:21:02,636 Claire Anne, I'm going. 415 00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:04,805 Wait, I'll come with you. 416 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,687 And you can forget Samba! 417 00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:13,731 Hey, where are you going? 418 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:17,193 That night, Samantha learned she had a little Charlotte in her. 419 00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:20,738 Just like Charlotte, she had a line that could be crossed. 420 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:22,865 Hers was just a little more to the left. 421 00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:27,077 The next night, I agreed to meet Jim and Miranda for drinks. 422 00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:29,747 Jim took me to an amazing poetry reading last night. 423 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,041 The unpublished works of Robert Lowell. 424 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,877 -He wrote his thesis on Lowell. -Really? I didn't know that. 425 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,253 There's a lot you never knew about me. 426 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,381 Another Chardonnay for the beautiful lady. 427 00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:40,925 Oh! Thank you. 428 00:21:41,425 --> 00:21:45,596 So, I... I lost track of you, but I always read your column. 429 00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,890 -It's really good. -Thank you. 430 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:52,728 Maybe I'd been wrong. Jim seemed kind, funny, attentive. 431 00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:54,855 There's a lot of sex in there. 432 00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:56,899 It creeps in. 433 00:21:57,650 --> 00:22:00,694 You didn't seem to know too much about sex when we were dating. 434 00:22:00,778 --> 00:22:02,696 And still an asshole. 435 00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:04,740 -All right then, good to see you. -Don't leave. Don't leave. 436 00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:08,953 I was joking. Stay. I have really bad timing. 437 00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:11,705 Speaking of which, did you ever hear his band play? 438 00:22:11,789 --> 00:22:12,665 No. Uh-uh. 439 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:15,125 She was too busy going shopping for shoes. 440 00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,753 -I do like my shoes. -Yeah. 441 00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:21,257 They come in handy when you're walking all over people, huh? 442 00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:24,927 -Hey, Jim. Come on. -I'm just reliving happy memories. 443 00:22:25,010 --> 00:22:27,096 Carrie doesn't walk all over people. 444 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,556 She sure as fuck did with me. 445 00:22:28,639 --> 00:22:30,724 Well, maybe that's because you're an asshole. 446 00:22:30,808 --> 00:22:32,768 I'm an asshole? She's the asshole. 447 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:35,104 She never called me once after we broke up. 448 00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:37,273 That's because you're an asshole. 449 00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:38,566 She's the asshole. 450 00:22:38,649 --> 00:22:40,943 -She's not an asshole -Thank you, sweetie. 451 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:43,946 You know what? Never call me again. 452 00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:46,490 -What, are you breaking up with me? -Oh, yeah. 453 00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:49,410 Ooh, the fancy lawyer lady is breaking up with me. 454 00:22:49,493 --> 00:22:50,953 Like I give a shit. 455 00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:53,539 Jim hadn't gotten older or wiser. 456 00:22:53,622 --> 00:22:56,250 Once dumped, he would still dump on everyone else. 457 00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:58,252 You are such assholes! 458 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:08,262 -Okay, say it. -I told you so. 459 00:23:08,345 --> 00:23:10,890 -What an asshole! -I told you so! 460 00:23:11,557 --> 00:23:13,893 Is it bad that it makes me feel good to say that? 461 00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:14,935 No. 462 00:23:15,436 --> 00:23:17,730 I can't believe I fell for that asshole. 463 00:23:17,813 --> 00:23:19,815 Your date died. You panicked. 464 00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,775 Yeah. You know me too well. 465 00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:24,778 Hey. There are plenty of other assholes out there. 466 00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:28,115 -You think? -Yeah, I know. And I'm an expert. 467 00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:30,034 You're such an asshole. 468 00:23:31,577 --> 00:23:33,120 Meanwhile, uptown, 469 00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:36,582 the Samantha in Charlotte was finally ready to come out. 470 00:23:37,958 --> 00:23:38,834 Hey. 471 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,797 What in God's name are you wearing? 472 00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:47,468 It's supposed to be sexy. 473 00:23:50,220 --> 00:23:52,139 Come on, Charlotte. You're my wife. 474 00:23:53,182 --> 00:23:54,642 That's not you. Take it off. 475 00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:57,311 Fine. 476 00:24:03,817 --> 00:24:04,818 Charlotte... 477 00:24:07,529 --> 00:24:08,530 Look at me. 478 00:24:14,244 --> 00:24:15,329 This is me. 479 00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:20,334 I'm not a Madonna, and I'm not a whore. 480 00:24:22,044 --> 00:24:25,547 I'm your wife. And I'm sexual and I love you. 481 00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,143 What are you doing? 482 00:24:40,938 --> 00:24:42,398 I'm touching myself. 483 00:24:45,234 --> 00:24:46,235 I can... 484 00:24:47,194 --> 00:24:48,404 I can see that. 485 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:51,323 Good. 486 00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:04,336 Trey? 487 00:25:06,547 --> 00:25:08,340 I think we have a stiff breeze. 488 00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:12,386 That night, Trey successfully screwed his wife 489 00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:16,265 for a full minute-and-a-half before the wind died. 490 00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:21,145 After Charlotte's night of love, she called the one person she knew 491 00:25:21,228 --> 00:25:23,272 who would appreciate it the most. 492 00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:24,940 -Hello? -Well... 493 00:25:26,066 --> 00:25:27,151 He fucked me. 494 00:25:27,234 --> 00:25:30,654 Oh, honey, that's great! I knew you could do it. 495 00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:31,697 Thanks. 496 00:25:31,780 --> 00:25:34,324 Oh, hey, don't forget Samba, Friday night. 497 00:25:34,408 --> 00:25:35,492 I'll be there. 498 00:25:36,368 --> 00:25:37,453 Did you come? 499 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:39,538 Samantha! 500 00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:41,540 Having spent time with their frenemies, 501 00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:43,709 Charlotte and Samantha forgot they were enemies 502 00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:45,544 -and went back to being friends. -Good girl. 503 00:25:46,253 --> 00:25:49,423 I realized I had become my own worst frenemy. 504 00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:53,093 I had let 300 desperate women and one asshole convince me 505 00:25:53,177 --> 00:25:54,595 that I didn't know anything. 506 00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:57,056 But they were wrong. I was older and wiser. 507 00:25:57,139 --> 00:26:00,267 So I decided to keep my second date with the Learning Annex. 508 00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,729 Unfortunately, my reputation had preceded me. 509 00:26:03,812 --> 00:26:05,355 Wow, is this it? 510 00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:09,151 Okay. Wow! 511 00:26:09,777 --> 00:26:11,445 Um... Hi. 512 00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:13,572 I'm Carrie Bradshaw. 513 00:26:14,198 --> 00:26:18,619 Um, I know you've paid good money to find out how to meet men. 514 00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:21,038 And I have to tell you, I don't know whole a lot about it, 515 00:26:21,121 --> 00:26:23,248 but I do know this, you are not gonna meet them 516 00:26:23,332 --> 00:26:24,750 sitting in a Learning Annex class. 517 00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:26,668 So, ladies, grab your bags. 518 00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:31,048 Come on, we're not getting any younger. 519 00:26:32,341 --> 00:26:33,175 Chop-chop! 520 00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:37,679 That's right. Just trying to give you your money's worth. All right. 521 00:26:37,763 --> 00:26:42,267 I took them around the corner to a bar, and took my $300 and bought them drinks. 522 00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:46,438 Okay, Anne, the guy over there is checking you out. 523 00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:48,565 Twelve o'clock. 524 00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:51,318 Not everybody, just Anne. Just Anne. 525 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,612 All right, go over there and ask him for a light. 526 00:26:53,695 --> 00:26:54,738 I'm already lit. 527 00:26:57,825 --> 00:26:59,701 Go. Go. 528 00:27:02,996 --> 00:27:05,999 -Hi, got a light? -Sure. 529 00:27:06,834 --> 00:27:08,335 Oh, yeah. See? 530 00:27:08,794 --> 00:27:11,213 Okay, one down, five to go. 531 00:27:11,296 --> 00:27:12,631 Hey, what about him? 532 00:27:12,714 --> 00:27:14,716 No, it's totally cool with me. It's fine. 533 00:27:15,717 --> 00:27:16,969 -Excuse me? -Hi. 534 00:27:17,052 --> 00:27:20,556 Hi. Have you met Liz? She works in TV. 535 00:27:20,639 --> 00:27:22,683 Get out of here! I love TV. 536 00:27:23,225 --> 00:27:24,351 Something in common. 537 00:27:24,434 --> 00:27:26,520 That night, I made three matches. 538 00:27:26,603 --> 00:27:28,063 I didn't even look for myself. 539 00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:30,566 After all, I try not to date while at work. 540 00:27:30,649 --> 00:27:33,610 So, I guess the old and wise adage is true. 541 00:27:33,694 --> 00:27:37,531 Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, do. 542 00:27:37,614 --> 00:27:40,367 Here's a live one. Go get him, tiger. Go. 543 00:27:40,450 --> 00:27:41,451 Run like the wind.