1 00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:54,179 My career had reached new heights, literally. 2 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:57,558 An editor at New York Magazine thought I would be the perfect person 3 00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:00,477 to write about the ultimate challenge for swingers... 4 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:01,895 The flying trapeze. 5 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,106 Wouldn't you rather be at Jeffrey? 6 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,066 They're having a sale on stripes. 7 00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:08,402 That's not supportive! 8 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,655 Step on up, good. 9 00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:15,200 That's good, that's great. Come around to my side. 10 00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,245 I'm gonna take off your climbing lines 11 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,080 and strap on your safety harness. 12 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:21,623 Yes, please strap on anything 13 00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,208 that will keep me from plummeting to my death. 14 00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:26,169 Toes over the edge, feet shoulder-width apart. 15 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,671 And just a little bit more. 16 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,299 That's good. Head up. 17 00:01:30,382 --> 00:01:33,051 Now put your right hand out in front of you. 18 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,636 I've got you. Good. 19 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,846 Are you ready to grab the bar? 20 00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,681 I'm ready to go to the bar. 21 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,933 -Does everyone say that? -Pretty much. 22 00:01:40,017 --> 00:01:41,852 Okay, hold the bar in one hand. 23 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,687 You're queen of the world! 24 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,897 -You're queen of the world! - Ha-ha. 25 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,191 All right, that's good. 26 00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,402 Keep your head up, don't look down. 27 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,737 -Are you ready? 28 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,489 And... up. 29 00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,617 Whoo! 30 00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:02,414 Swing out, sister! 31 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,417 Two hours later, I was hooked. 32 00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:10,422 Stanny, are you watching? I'm about to try a catch! 33 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:13,383 Maybe you should quit while you're a... live. 34 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,676 You can totally do this. 35 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:17,804 Just listen to me and trust me. 36 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:19,181 Up! 37 00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:23,185 All right, legs up. 38 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:26,229 Take your hands off and reach for me. 39 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,981 This time you got it. 40 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,900 Let go! 41 00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,860 -Let go! - No! 42 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,779 Ooh... No, no, no, no. 43 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,199 That day, I didn't get caught... 44 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,161 But Samantha's zipper did. 45 00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:02,307 This is one of the frustrating things about living alone. 46 00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:05,936 There's not always somebody around to rip your clothes off. 47 00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,322 Hey, Smith. 48 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,950 Want to come over and do me? 49 00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,286 What she meant was "undo" me. 50 00:03:23,412 --> 00:03:25,747 But two birds with one stone. 51 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,166 And in Central Park, 52 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:32,796 a photographer attempted to catch two lovebirds sitting on a stone. 53 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:37,342 Honey, a little... a little less teeth, just relax your lips. 54 00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,636 Oh, no. Now you're squinting. 55 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,181 A lesser man might have told Charlotte to take a flying leap, 56 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,642 but Harry loved her too much. 57 00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:47,477 I thought the point was to look natural. 58 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,980 That's what I'm trying to get you to do. 59 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:54,443 Well, one might ask, how natural is it to be sitting in Central Park in a suit? 60 00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,738 Honey, I read the wedding section religiously 61 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,489 and I know what they're looking for, 62 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,241 and not all pictures are selected. 63 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,993 And I really, really want there to be 64 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:06,371 a York-Goldenblatt announcement of our wedding in The Sunday Times. 65 00:04:06,455 --> 00:04:09,291 So please, just, just a little less teeth, just... 66 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:13,211 Charlotte York, I cannot wait to marry you. 67 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,380 That's perfect, that's it! 68 00:04:15,464 --> 00:04:16,715 I was having a moment! 69 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,884 Oh... 70 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,094 Ah, lipstick! 71 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:25,015 Wait, no, no, sorry. No kissing pictures, it's tacky. 72 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,100 And speaking of tacky... 73 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,435 It's cute, huh? 74 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:31,229 Debbie bought it for him over at the 6th Avenue Flea Market. 75 00:04:32,564 --> 00:04:35,525 -Did you wash it first? 76 00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:37,819 She also got something for you. 77 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,823 It's aromatherapy. 78 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,452 Oh. Huh. 79 00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,412 You know, I was thinking, 80 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:51,249 maybe we should figure out a time for the two of you to meet. 81 00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,043 What? Why? 82 00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,128 Well, she's around Brady, 83 00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:57,088 and I know you're not so comfortable with that-- 84 00:04:57,172 --> 00:04:59,800 I'm completely comfortable. I don't need to meet her. 85 00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,760 I trust you. 86 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:04,763 She bought me a fucking candle. 87 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:09,684 And it was an aromatherapy candle, for serenity and calm. 88 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:13,688 I was much more serene and calm before the fucking candle. 89 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,941 "Women with candles have replaced women with cats" 90 00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,234 is the new sad thing. 91 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,320 Oh, and get this, he thinks I should meet her. 92 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:23,156 I sense that he wants us to become friends. 93 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,741 Oh, no, no, no, no, forget it. 94 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:27,619 You do not need to become friends with the new girlfriend. 95 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:33,291 It's unnatural, uncomfortable, insincere and rife with ulterior motives. 96 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:36,628 -Has this happened to you? -No, I'm just being supportive. 97 00:05:36,711 --> 00:05:38,338 But there is a baby involved. 98 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,424 Exactly. She's using Brady to get to me. 99 00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:43,301 And I am not falling for it. 100 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:47,264 Oh, speaking of falling, I tried the trapeze yesterday 101 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,765 for that piece that I'm writing-- 102 00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:49,891 I could never! 103 00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:51,893 I have the most terrible fear of heights. 104 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,562 Well, I do not, you've seen my shoes. 105 00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,981 So, did you fly through the air with the greatest of ease? 106 00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:58,483 At first, but then, I couldn't do a catch. 107 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,777 All I had to do was let go and reach for the guy, 108 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,321 who was very cute, and I still couldn't do it. 109 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,532 You are insane for getting into a harness 110 00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:07,784 without even the hope of an orgasm. 111 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,160 Hello, ladies. 112 00:06:09,244 --> 00:06:10,495 Hi, honey. 113 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:12,163 - Hey, Harry. -Hi, Howie. 114 00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:13,206 Hi. 115 00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:15,876 Everyone, this is Harry's best man, Howie Halberstein, 116 00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,335 -in from Portland. -Hello. 117 00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,420 We're not crashing, 118 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,088 I'm just here to drop off the photo-proofs... 119 00:06:20,171 --> 00:06:22,299 -...and the seating chart. 120 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,842 -We're gonna have a quick bite to eat... -Right. 121 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,343 ...and then I'm going to take the place cards 122 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,137 -to the calligrapher. -Oh. 123 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,097 And after that, if there's time, we're gonna go around the corner 124 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:30,473 and try to find our balls. 125 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,561 Yes, Harry knows how to show a guy a good time. 126 00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,229 Howie, this is Samantha and Miranda. 127 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,147 -Hello. -Hi. 128 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,940 And... Carrie. 129 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,483 -Hi. -Hi, how are ya? 130 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,193 -Good. -Good. 131 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:45,488 Good guy. You two, I see it happening. 132 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:46,907 Shh. Shh. 133 00:06:47,657 --> 00:06:49,034 Oh. Oh. 134 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,535 So, uh, Carrie? 135 00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:53,413 I was thinking maybe you might show Howie around a little later. 136 00:06:53,496 --> 00:06:56,708 Unless Harry needs me to ice a cake, or something. 137 00:06:56,791 --> 00:07:02,297 Well, um... I'm... I... I'm kind of busy, 138 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,717 'cause I have to do a flying trapeze thing. 139 00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:08,511 That is so weird, because I have a lion taming thing tomorrow, 140 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,013 so that's out for me. 141 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:12,682 But, you know, if you change your mind... 142 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:15,393 I will give you my business card. 143 00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:16,561 Okay. 144 00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:18,605 -There you go. -Thank you. 145 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,023 All my lines are on there. 146 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:21,566 -Okay. -Call me any-- 147 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,360 -I'll be waiting by the phone. -Okay. Okay. 148 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,655 What's wrong with you? 149 00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,990 He was funny and cute! 150 00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:32,369 And in town for a week. What's the point? 151 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:35,664 That is the point. It's the best possible scenario, 152 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,582 because you know he's leaving. 153 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:39,584 But it's, it's like... 154 00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,629 whatever happens, there's an expiration date. 155 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,339 It's expiration dating. 156 00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:46,216 It isn't dating. It's sex. 157 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,760 It's fun, it's a fling! 158 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:51,137 Oh, please, I'm too old for a fling. 159 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,973 I can barely do a swing. 160 00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:55,684 And if you will excuse me, I have to go home, 161 00:07:55,767 --> 00:07:58,603 so I can write about the fact that I couldn't do a catch. 162 00:07:58,687 --> 00:07:59,729 He is a catch. 163 00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,690 You should do him! 164 00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,567 When you're young, 165 00:08:04,651 --> 00:08:07,153 your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. 166 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:10,657 Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. 167 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,203 You could break a bone or a heart. 168 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,664 You look before you leap, and sometimes you don't leap at all, 169 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,166 because there's not always someone there to catch you. 170 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,753 And in life, there's no safety net. 171 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:29,217 When did it stop being fun and start being scary? 172 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:33,304 I decided it was time to leave fear behind 173 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,973 and have some fun. 174 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,605 Okay, legs up. 175 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:44,566 That's good. 176 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,984 Let go and reach for me. 177 00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,902 I can't! 178 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:51,740 All right, this time let go! 179 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:55,201 I can't! I can't! 180 00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:56,828 Don't tell me you can't. 181 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,164 I want nothing but lilies on the chuppah! 182 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,498 The theme is Yentl chic! 183 00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:01,666 Don't forget the candles! 184 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,418 You think this is the first wedding I ever planned? 185 00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:05,045 Jesus Christ, you're worse than me! 186 00:09:05,128 --> 00:09:06,880 We want candles, candles, candles! 187 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:09,841 And I don't want short, stubby, little, broken-off dick candles. 188 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,968 I want long tapers. 189 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,929 -All right, call me right back! - Ta-da! 190 00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,475 -It's okay? -Okay? 191 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,768 You're Audrey Hepburn... 192 00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:20,727 ...owitz. 193 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,687 I'm so excited about this wedding. 194 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,023 We're gonna do everything according to tradition. 195 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,983 We are going to smash the glass, 196 00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,903 and the signing of the ketubah, the hora... 197 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:33,239 Be careful, God forbid you fall off the chair. 198 00:09:33,323 --> 00:09:34,866 Oh, "the hora, the hora." 199 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,826 Well, maybe we won't do the chair thing. 200 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,828 You have to, that's the big finish! 201 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:41,623 Just remember when you're up there, pretend you're having a good time, 202 00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:44,000 hang on for dear life, and for fuck's sake, 203 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,251 keep your legs together. 204 00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,628 Nobody wants to see the bride's beaver. 205 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,964 Don't say that in front of my dress. 206 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,968 Hello, York residence. 207 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,595 Yes, we have a minute. 208 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,013 It's the New York Times fact checker. 209 00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,474 -Yes, Goldenblatt has two T's... 210 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:03,019 Sure, fax it over! 211 00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,397 -We're in, we're in! 212 00:10:06,481 --> 00:10:07,857 This calls for a hora! 213 00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:13,071 Hey. 214 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,657 Oh my God, what are you doing here? 215 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,034 Don't look at me, don't look at me! 216 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,536 Jesus Christ, Char, my ear. 217 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,204 You're not supposed to see me in my dress. 218 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,706 This is bad luck, very bad luck. 219 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,876 Close your eyes, keep them closed! 220 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,087 Oh, no, this is so bad! 221 00:10:31,214 --> 00:10:32,841 Are all brides like that? 222 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:34,134 That's nothing, 223 00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:36,803 I once had a girl on Long Island give herself a stroke. 224 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,514 She pulled it together for the big day, though. 225 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,897 Hopefully I'll get cell reception down in Mexico. 226 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,065 Uh-huh. 227 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,776 Samantha, a fan of expiration dating, 228 00:10:51,860 --> 00:10:55,363 was about to enjoy one of the benefits of dating an actor... 229 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,198 Location, location, location. 230 00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,033 It's gonna be cool working with Gus Van Sant. 231 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,577 Uh-huh. 232 00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:03,496 Here, let me... 233 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,085 I can't believe we don't get to spend my last night together. 234 00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:11,004 Are you dying? 235 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,174 -No. -Then it's not your last night. 236 00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:17,468 There. 237 00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:20,680 I'm gonna miss you, Samantha. 238 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:24,058 Oh, save that performance for Mr. Van Sant. 239 00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,311 It's just two weeks. 240 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:27,562 -It's a long time! -Mmm-hmm. 241 00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:28,938 Would you get out of here already? 242 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,148 I'm late as it is. 243 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,692 Yeah, yeah. 244 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:33,902 And listen... 245 00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:37,030 When you're on location, don't do anything I wouldn't do. 246 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,325 -What does that rule out? -Mmm, there are things... 247 00:11:42,076 --> 00:11:45,872 -Karaoke, I don't do that. 248 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:54,255 He flies through the air, With the greatest of ease 249 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:58,968 That daring young boy On the flying trapeze 250 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,261 This is it. 251 00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,055 It's a very nice building. 252 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,932 - Miranda! 253 00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:05,308 I can't find my keys. 254 00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:06,351 Magda... 255 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,478 - You still have keys? -I'm not home. 256 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:10,563 - Because of Brady. -Do you understand? 257 00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:15,902 I'm already at Charlotte's. I am not home. 258 00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,076 Is Miranda here? 259 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,994 She is not home. 260 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,163 Oh. Well, that's too bad. 261 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,374 I was really looking forward to meeting her. 262 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,542 She is not home. 263 00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:35,213 - Magda, this is Debbie. - Nice to meet you. 264 00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:39,300 All right, so we just need to grab some things out of Brady's crib. 265 00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:43,137 Last time I forgot Mr. Elephant and Brady acted like a big baby. 266 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,305 Didn't you, B-boy? 267 00:12:44,389 --> 00:12:47,558 He is a big baby. 268 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:54,607 But, uh... I have not cleaned in room yet. 269 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,359 That's okay. 270 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,366 This is a nice room, she has nice taste. 271 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,368 Yeah, I helped build the crib. 272 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:08,454 Really? Wow. 273 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:15,545 What's wrong, Brady, did you drop your binky? 274 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,505 Where's your binky? 275 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,090 Oh. It's right there. 276 00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:20,300 Oh. 277 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:25,054 Here you go, Brady-licious. 278 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:28,308 Hey, wanna go to Blockbuster and rent a tape or something? 279 00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,893 Okay, but this time, I get to pick. 280 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,689 - Bye. - Bye, Magda. 281 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:45,325 There's a lot of dust down there. 282 00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,243 You really should vacuum... 283 00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:49,620 under... 284 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,878 That night, we all gathered at Charlotte's 285 00:13:56,961 --> 00:13:58,713 casual rehearsal dinner. 286 00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:02,008 You're like a lint tray. What's happening back here? 287 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,927 That Debbie is crazy. 288 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:08,222 She came to my apartment with Steve, totally ambushed me. 289 00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,558 I had to hide under the bed to avoid them. 290 00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,018 Seriously? 291 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,770 Maybe. 292 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:14,771 Well, did you see her? 293 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,731 Just her shoes and her nails. 294 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,483 -And... -Both acrylic. 295 00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:19,901 Mmm. You know what? 296 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:21,944 Maybe you should just meet her and get it over with. 297 00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,237 I don't want to meet her. 298 00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,781 If I meet her, she's real, 299 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:27,325 and that means Steve has an actual girlfriend. 300 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:31,037 Apparently, I wasn't the only one who had trouble letting go. 301 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,373 Hey, what's happening there? 302 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:34,540 Oh, you know... 303 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:37,168 Bride, bride, bride, blah, blah, blah. 304 00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,670 Hey, I just saw your fling go into the bedroom. 305 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,464 It's like shooting fish in a barrel. 306 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:42,382 Still, no. 307 00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:43,508 Ooh! 308 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:47,011 -It's just casual sex. -Nothing's casual anymore. 309 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,013 Not even when it says so on the invitation. 310 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,266 Just go in there and see what happens. 311 00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,852 Worst comes to worst, you can always hide under the bed. 312 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,191 I decided they were right. 313 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,485 It was time to get back in the swing of things. 314 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,535 - See ya later. -See ya later, Howie. 315 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:13,287 Oh, hey. How are ya? 316 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:17,708 Wow, this is kind of uncomfortable. 317 00:15:17,792 --> 00:15:19,502 Look, would you please stop calling me? 318 00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:23,172 I don't have time to chat. I've got boutonnieres on my mind. 319 00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:25,049 I'm sorry I never called. 320 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,093 I understand, you're busy. That time of the year, 321 00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:30,638 you know, final exams for clown college... or something. 322 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,682 And what would that entail, you think? 323 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,518 You know, the seating arrangements in the little car, 324 00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:36,853 walking in the floppy shoes... 325 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,147 Squirting flower and nose application. 326 00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,816 Continual pie-ing, the clown kissing. 327 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:43,651 Maybe I would have a fling. 328 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:46,654 After all, how bad could it be? 329 00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:56,664 That night, Howie and I had sex like we were teenagers again. 330 00:15:57,081 --> 00:16:00,168 Meaning, he had no idea what he was doing, 331 00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:02,420 and I didn't say anything. 332 00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:11,304 Meanwhile, Samantha was banging around as well. 333 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,810 You have one new message. 334 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,106 Hey, I'm here. It's pretty cool. 335 00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:24,150 Miss me yet? 336 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,279 That's the thing about getting used to a man. 337 00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:29,906 There's always a catch. 338 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:36,454 It's here! It's here! 339 00:16:36,537 --> 00:16:39,874 Not just her wedding day, but the New York Times. 340 00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:46,297 Oh, my God. 341 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,050 I have a mustache. 342 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,136 It's an ink stain. 343 00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:55,431 Hey, but look at me. Now that, that is a terrific smile. 344 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:57,058 This is a nightmare! 345 00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,685 It's probably just our paper. 346 00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:02,563 Anyway, who cares? We're getting married today! 347 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,357 I look like Hitler. 348 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,151 I am having a Jewish wedding and I look like Hitler. 349 00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,444 Hello? 350 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,655 In your paper, do I have a mustache? 351 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,114 What? 352 00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,951 In your wedding section, does it look like I have a mustache? 353 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:17,912 Oh, hang on a minute. 354 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,917 As I feared, my fling had become a pain in the neck. 355 00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,086 You do not look like Hitler. 356 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,964 The Frito Bandito, maybe... 357 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,174 The bad luck is starting already. 358 00:17:32,510 --> 00:17:33,636 Hmm. 359 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:38,099 Yeah, there's a little something, 360 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,518 but maybe it's just my paper... 361 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,395 and your paper. 362 00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:43,938 I have to go. 363 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,566 Clearly, Charlotte was bent out of shape. 364 00:17:46,649 --> 00:17:48,359 And so was I. 365 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:51,821 Come on, granny, I'll take you to the early bird special. 366 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,323 Oh, God, don't make me laugh. 367 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,033 It hurts. 368 00:17:56,117 --> 00:17:58,536 Is this still from your days as a Flying Wallenda? 369 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:03,499 Well, that's my official story, and it's partially true, but... 370 00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:06,002 this is a sex sprain. 371 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:09,380 -Good for you! -No, it was not good for me. 372 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,007 It was jack rabbit sex. 373 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,092 You know, pow, pow, pow, pow pow, pow, pow, pow. 374 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:15,094 Are straight men still allowed to do that? 375 00:18:15,177 --> 00:18:17,430 No, they aren't. It's bad. 376 00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:20,891 It's basically masturbating with a woman instead of your hand. 377 00:18:20,975 --> 00:18:22,226 I don't enjoy. 378 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,812 Carrie, you made it. 379 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,356 Oh, hi. 380 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,858 -I gotta go. -Hi. 381 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,027 -The jack rabbit? -Uh-huh. 382 00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,404 -I better-- -Hop to it? 383 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,783 Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. 384 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,706 You look hot. 385 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,124 -Oh. 386 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:46,375 Thanks. 387 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,712 -Guess what? -What? 388 00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,298 I got a suite at the Mercer for later. 389 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:55,009 King-size bed, huge tub. 390 00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:57,219 We can have breakfast before I leave, 391 00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,431 unless, of course, we're busy doing something else, hmm? 392 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,434 Oh... yay! 393 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:05,895 -I don't know. 394 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:08,648 I'm pretty tired from last night. 395 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:10,858 Yeah, well, I'm only gonna be in town for another day, 396 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,069 and I want to get to know you better. 397 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:17,281 Well, okay. 398 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,866 We'll see... 399 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,910 We'll see? 400 00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:24,622 I know what "we'll see" means. It means "see ya." 401 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:28,626 No, no, the thing is... 402 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:33,464 You're just visiting, so I figured... 403 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:43,015 I... I figured it was a one-night kind of thing. 404 00:19:44,266 --> 00:19:45,726 Just fun. 405 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,605 Wow. 406 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:52,983 If I had known you were just using me, 407 00:19:53,067 --> 00:19:55,277 I wouldn't have made love to you like that. 408 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:07,039 We are here today to celebrate the union of two very special people, 409 00:20:07,123 --> 00:20:09,834 Harry Goldenblatt and Charlotte York. 410 00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:12,211 It's important for everyone here 411 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,880 to be a witness to this moment, 412 00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:18,259 for the Jewish wedding ceremony has two parts. 413 00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:23,764 The first designates to the community that the kallah, 414 00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:30,312 bride, and khatan, groom, are for one another alone. 415 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,901 And the second part gives them to one another. 416 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,237 -It's a gift... 417 00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,489 ...and a huge responsibility. 418 00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,679 As one man slipped a ring on, 419 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:07,349 one woman was still trying to slip a bracelet off. 420 00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:11,771 Oh! 421 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,233 Ow! Ow! Ow! 422 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:19,779 Sorry, it's a back spasm, I'm sorry. 423 00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,166 Ow. 424 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:43,803 It seemed to Charlotte that the wedding had gone from 425 00:21:43,886 --> 00:21:47,014 Jewish law to Murphy's law. 426 00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:52,102 Oh! 427 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:05,991 Mazel tov! 428 00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,419 Hey, Charlotte, are you okay? 429 00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:19,213 This is a disaster. 430 00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:20,881 It's the worst wedding in history. 431 00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:23,175 That's not true. 432 00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:26,595 Although I only saw most of it from here down. 433 00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:28,931 Harry never should have walked in on me 434 00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,266 wearing my wedding dress. 435 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:33,018 -Now we're cursed. -You're not cursed. 436 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:35,104 You're married. 437 00:22:35,187 --> 00:22:37,481 You just got married! 438 00:22:37,606 --> 00:22:39,149 I know, but... 439 00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,277 I wanted everything to be perfect. 440 00:22:41,610 --> 00:22:43,279 Okay, you have to stop with the tears. 441 00:22:44,113 --> 00:22:47,199 You already had the perfect wedding and the marriage... 442 00:22:47,908 --> 00:22:49,285 Not so perfect. 443 00:22:49,994 --> 00:22:51,537 You know, I think this is a good sign. 444 00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:54,957 I think the worse the wedding, the better the marriage. 445 00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:57,459 I have a stain on my dress. 446 00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:58,794 That's good! 447 00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,588 That's a good sign! 448 00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:03,090 You're just trying to make me feel better. 449 00:23:03,173 --> 00:23:05,551 No, I'm trying to get you to open your eyes, 450 00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:06,844 because you're missing it! 451 00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:09,513 -What? -Everything! 452 00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,974 You're missing your wedding. 453 00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:15,102 You have a wonderful man who loves you, 454 00:23:15,686 --> 00:23:17,563 who will be there to catch you when you fall. 455 00:23:17,646 --> 00:23:19,148 Do you know how special that is? 456 00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:22,484 I would love to find a man who was strong enough to catch me. 457 00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:29,325 So, let's get to that reception so you can fall in a cake or something. 458 00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:34,705 Okay. Oh, dear. 459 00:23:34,788 --> 00:23:36,457 So... 460 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:37,374 Okay? 461 00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:39,335 Perfect, still. Of course. 462 00:23:40,336 --> 00:23:42,588 -Oh. Oh, Christ. - Oh... 463 00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,590 -Oh, Christ. 464 00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:48,427 Best of luck to you. Best of luck. 465 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,180 Are you okay? 466 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:52,306 Oh, yeah. 467 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,516 I'm just feeling a little sad. 468 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,518 It was just so beautiful. 469 00:23:56,602 --> 00:23:57,686 The ceremony? 470 00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:59,104 My bracelet. 471 00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:00,731 Mm... 472 00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,112 Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention, please? 473 00:24:07,196 --> 00:24:08,530 Oh, God, it's time for the toast. 474 00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:10,324 Top me off, I'm next. 475 00:24:10,407 --> 00:24:12,993 I would like to raise a glass... 476 00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:16,413 to Harry and Charlotte, 477 00:24:16,830 --> 00:24:22,252 because they found each other, despite all the bullshit. 478 00:24:22,336 --> 00:24:27,049 Huh? Hey, hey... It's tough out there. 479 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,760 I mean, people don't care like they used to. 480 00:24:30,970 --> 00:24:32,721 People leave you hanging. 481 00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:35,099 People... 482 00:24:35,683 --> 00:24:36,767 are a bitch. 483 00:24:37,935 --> 00:24:39,687 Is this a toast or a roast? 484 00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:41,313 So here's to love. 485 00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:46,986 And love means... never ever... 486 00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:50,030 having to say... 487 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:54,243 You used me for sex! 488 00:24:56,245 --> 00:24:57,371 Thanks, Howie. 489 00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:58,789 That's nice. 490 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,417 No, wait, hey, Mazel tov. 491 00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:04,586 It was a Mazel tov cocktail. 492 00:25:06,797 --> 00:25:10,342 Carrie said, "The worse the wedding, the better the marriage." 493 00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:13,178 Well, then I think Howie just got us to our silver. 494 00:25:17,474 --> 00:25:18,392 Hi. 495 00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:19,977 Um... Hello? 496 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:22,104 Great. Um... 497 00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:30,154 I would like to congratulate my very brave friend, Charlotte, 498 00:25:30,863 --> 00:25:32,406 who knows what she wants 499 00:25:33,073 --> 00:25:34,658 and who goes for it. 500 00:25:36,326 --> 00:25:38,037 Not everyone can do that, 501 00:25:39,747 --> 00:25:42,124 especially when it comes to love. 502 00:25:43,375 --> 00:25:48,922 Some of us can't even say the words, but-- 503 00:25:56,013 --> 00:25:59,183 Sorry, hon. Good speech though. 504 00:26:00,517 --> 00:26:02,519 Maybe Miranda just got us to our gold. 505 00:26:04,313 --> 00:26:07,107 - Mazel tov! 506 00:26:44,853 --> 00:26:46,605 He's certainly acrobatic. 507 00:26:46,688 --> 00:26:50,818 Oh, yeah, he's a regular "Jerk du Soleil." 508 00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:56,365 Do you think everyone knows I slept with him? 509 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:59,368 Yes. And they all think you're a big "hora." 510 00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,502 I don't like this, I'm afraid... 511 00:27:08,585 --> 00:27:10,838 Of what? What's the worst that could happen? 512 00:27:10,921 --> 00:27:12,214 We'll live happily ever after? 513 00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:14,049 Ho! 514 00:27:24,184 --> 00:27:26,186 And, of course, this being a wedding, 515 00:27:26,270 --> 00:27:27,521 there was one more catch to go. 516 00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:31,525 Okay... Ooh... Who's ready to catch the bouquet? 517 00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:33,068 Not me. 518 00:27:33,152 --> 00:27:37,364 I've lit myself on fire, I showed emotion in public... 519 00:27:37,447 --> 00:27:38,740 I think I'm done. 520 00:27:38,949 --> 00:27:40,742 Oh, you were fabulous. 521 00:27:40,951 --> 00:27:42,703 I believe you mean "flammable." 522 00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:49,334 Okay, now you're done. 523 00:27:49,626 --> 00:27:51,378 It wasn't a perfect catch... 524 00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:01,763 And neither was mine. 525 00:28:03,265 --> 00:28:04,808 But I survived, 526 00:28:05,100 --> 00:28:07,269 because I have a good safety net.