1 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,222 I didn't go to my high school reunion. 2 00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:58,350 So, when my high school sweetheart called me, for a reunion, 3 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:01,853 I was curious to see if he looked like the boy I used to make out with 4 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,230 in front of my locker. 5 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:05,399 Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to chemistry class? 6 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,693 Actually, he looked better. 7 00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,778 Oh, my God. 8 00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,989 Jeremy, wow. 9 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,783 -That's my name, don't wear it out. 10 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,619 Wow, you look great. 11 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:19,997 I knew you looked great, 'cause I saw you on the cover of your book. 12 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:20,914 Oh. 13 00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:22,541 But I have to say, even better in person. 14 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,876 Oh, God. I'm so glad you called. 15 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,504 I'm going to be spending the month in Connecticut, so... 16 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,548 -I had to look you up. -Wow. 17 00:01:29,715 --> 00:01:31,675 Well, how are you? I heard that you married somebody 18 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:32,968 that you met in business school? 19 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,470 Yeah. No, I got divorced, like, two years ago. 20 00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:37,431 Really miscalculated that one. 21 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:41,101 -So I'm on my own again. -Oh. 22 00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:42,686 -Oh... -How about you? 23 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,563 Are you seeing anybody, or... 24 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:45,772 Nope. 25 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,774 -Wide open. -How is that possible? 26 00:01:47,858 --> 00:01:50,819 Well, my high school boyfriend spoiled me for life. 27 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:57,159 -Right. Me and my AMC Pacer. -Oh, the Pacer. Oh, man. 28 00:01:57,618 --> 00:02:00,746 -I put our names down for a table. -Oh, great. 29 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,832 But earlier you said maybe, you might have dinner plans? 30 00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:04,750 Oh. 31 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:06,668 Was that in case I turned out to be a... 32 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,129 Yeah, maybe. 33 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:14,676 But, um, my fictional plans fell through, so I'm available. 34 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,388 Miranda had no plans that night. 35 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,183 So she was thrilled when her cute new neighbor stopped by. 36 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:23,352 - Hey. -Oh hey, 37 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,854 I didn't you'd be home on a Saturday night. 38 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:26,855 Motherhood. 39 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,858 -So, what's my excuse? 40 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,277 I just got Brady to sleep. 41 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,697 -Now, do you sing to him? -Only if he's been bad. 42 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:40,327 Listen, I have these two courtside seats 43 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,954 for the Knicks charity game at the Garden next Friday night. 44 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,539 Would you want to go? 45 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,833 -I would love to. -Great. 46 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,880 -Great, I'll look for you there. -Oh, okay. 47 00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,466 Thanks, so much. 48 00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,051 Goodnight. 49 00:02:57,219 --> 00:02:58,136 You, too. 50 00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,766 Miranda wasn't sure if it was a charity game, or just charity. 51 00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:07,104 Hey, I didn't even ask what you were doing in Connecticut. 52 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,313 Nothing. 53 00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:09,981 Well, for a change. 54 00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:14,027 I spent the last decade working my ass off in Denver. 55 00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,488 So, I decided to take a month off, 56 00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:18,865 spend some time with sea level. 57 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,284 So I've just been relaxing in the country, 58 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:25,956 -sorting through some things, you know. -Yeah, sometimes you need to get away. 59 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,293 Sometimes you wonder why you stayed away so long. 60 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,342 Well... 61 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,011 -Ah. -This is my place. 62 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:45,308 -It's a nice place. -Yeah, I love it here. 63 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,314 I feel like I want to kiss you, but I... I... I... 64 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:55,736 -I don't know what... -I know, it's very unclear. 65 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:59,281 Yeah, I mean, this isn't our first date. We've already dated. 66 00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,949 -And we've kissed. -Many times. 67 00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,033 Hours. 68 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,661 We're in a lip lock for the most of 1982. 69 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,414 So, um... 70 00:04:08,874 --> 00:04:10,292 What's one more kiss? 71 00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:16,506 Uh, oh. You mean business. 72 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,900 Hmmm, it's... 73 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,862 That's a lot better without the gearshift sticking up my ass. 74 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:46,119 It was a romantic, hot summer night. 75 00:04:47,162 --> 00:04:50,165 Followed by a miserable hot summer day. 76 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:53,418 Which was the 14th miserable, hot summer day in a row. 77 00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:56,129 Samantha Jones, how are you? 78 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,465 Great, Phoebe. How are you? 79 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:00,717 -Refreshed. 80 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:03,261 We just dropped by the SoHo house for a dip. 81 00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:06,223 I mean, what else can you possibly do in this heat, 82 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,267 except sit by the pool and drink cocktails 83 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:11,269 while they mist you with Evian. 84 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:14,105 -Isn't it the best? -Oh, it's fabulous. 85 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:17,025 I'm running to a lunch, otherwise I'd be up there myself. 86 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,319 -Toodles. 87 00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:22,447 There's a pool a block from my apartment, and I can't get in. 88 00:05:22,531 --> 00:05:24,449 -What pool? -At the SoHo house. 89 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:27,536 You have to be a member and I'm on some kind of bullshit waitlist. 90 00:05:27,619 --> 00:05:31,373 -Don't they know who you are? -And more importantly who we are. 91 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,416 We need to be at the pool with you. 92 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,709 You know in high school, 93 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:38,255 all you had to do is jump a fence and you'd in somebody's pool. 94 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:42,133 Oh, speaking of high school, I saw my high school sweetheart. 95 00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:46,471 And I think I might like him. Again. 96 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,558 -Is that crazy? -No, I love this. 97 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,893 You could end up with your high-school boyfriend. 98 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:53,687 Okay, let's not jump the gun. 99 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,314 But it was the best date I've had in a long time. 100 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:58,817 And I wasn't even thinking that it was a date. Oh! 101 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,696 -And when he kissed me goodnight. - He kissed you goodnight? 102 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:06,825 I... It was wild, because I actually 103 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:09,494 remembered what it felt like to kiss him. 104 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:13,039 Imagine if you slept with him. Talk about a homecoming. 105 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:16,668 -No, we never went all the way. -Why not? 106 00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,920 Because we were kids. We wanted to wait. 107 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:22,841 And now, I think we've waited long enough. 108 00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:24,384 You're marrying him. 109 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:27,512 Will you stop? He doesn't even live in New York. He lives in Denver. 110 00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:30,348 People move. It would be so romantic. 111 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:34,352 Oh tragic. Seriously, if I had the guy in high school, 112 00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:37,314 what have I been doing for the past 20 years? 113 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,815 Why did you two break up? 114 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:42,611 I broke up because I thought, "Come on, there must be better guys out there." 115 00:06:42,694 --> 00:06:45,113 Turns out, there aren't. 116 00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:49,409 That night, I started thinking about my retro relationship. 117 00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:52,495 Since high school, most women I know have acquired much better 118 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:55,332 taste in clothes, hairstyles, and food. 119 00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,584 But what about in men? 120 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:05,008 Maybe we were better off when we thought less and kissed more. 121 00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:09,095 Have we graduated past our ability to find true love 122 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:11,514 when it comes to matters of the heart? 123 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,934 Did we have it right in high school? 124 00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,649 Samantha was too cool to belong to any clubs in high school, 125 00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:24,194 so she refused to believe that any club was too cool for her now. 126 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:27,781 Especially, since New York in August is not cool at all. 127 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,616 -May I help you? -I hope so. 128 00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,243 I'd like to to know what's holding up my membership. 129 00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,371 I've been on the wait list since June. 130 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:37,582 Yes, I'm sorry, but we are not currently admitting any new members. 131 00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:41,169 The pool is so fabulous, we're at capacity every day. 132 00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:45,173 Do you know who I am? 133 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:49,761 No, I don't. We can't accommodate you right now. 134 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,597 Well, can I at least use the restroom before I go? 135 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,849 Or is there a wait list for that as well. 136 00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:58,478 Down the corridor on your left, the door marked "WC". 137 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:10,907 Miss, did you leave your card on the sink? 138 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:16,079 Oh, yes. Yes, I did. Thank you so much. 139 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:19,666 Since they didn't seem to know who she was at the SoHo house, 140 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:23,003 she figured she could be Annabelle Bronstein. 141 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:34,305 The next day, Samantha tested the waters with her fake ID. 142 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:35,807 Excuse me. 143 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:39,227 Can I get you something to drink, Ms. Bronstein? 144 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:43,231 Yes, but I'll just pay cash. 145 00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:47,902 And please, call me Annabelle. 146 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:52,907 Meanwhile, a fight was about to break out in the cafeteria. 147 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:57,495 But this time, Cafeteria was a trendy restaurant in Chelsea. 148 00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,789 Thank you. 149 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,958 God, I hate him. 150 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,670 -Come on, we're going over there. -Why? 151 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,338 Because you're in tank top. 152 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:11,301 -Hi. -Oh, hi. 153 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,846 -You were here, what a small world. -That's Chelsea for you. 154 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,682 Can't swing a dick without running into someone you know. 155 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,686 Well, we'd love to stay and chat, 156 00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,397 but we have to go get our tuxes for the prom. 157 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:25,857 Did you say "the prom"? 158 00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:30,612 Yes, it's a big fundraiser at the gay-lesbian-bi-transgender center. 159 00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,697 I'm on the decorations committee. 160 00:09:32,781 --> 00:09:34,616 What's the theme? Queer and queerer? 161 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:40,163 I have the best memories of my prom. I was the prom queen. 162 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,373 Of course you were, darling. 163 00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:44,876 I missed my prom in high school, because-- 164 00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,336 You were gay. 165 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:50,465 No, my girlfriend and I broke up the night before, because-- 166 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,133 You were gay. 167 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,803 No, I wasn't gay until-- 168 00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,596 You were born? 169 00:09:58,348 --> 00:09:59,599 Never mind. 170 00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,143 Good bye, Charlotte. 171 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:04,104 -Bye. -Bye, Marcus. 172 00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,444 Those two should be going to the gay, lesbian, and the prostitute prom. 173 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,738 -Oh, be nice. -What? 174 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:17,283 I happen to know that Marcus used to be a gay escort. 175 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:21,204 -He was not. -Oh, honey, wake up and smell the K-Y. 176 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,414 I was flipping through a vintage issue of Honcho. 177 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,625 I saw his ad in the Rauncho section. 178 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:29,629 He called himself Paul. Worst hustler name I ever heard. 179 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:31,798 He and Stanford are in love. 180 00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:35,552 Yeah, well, according to Honcho, he used to be in love all over town. 181 00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,387 You are mistaken. 182 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,556 There's a picture. I'll send you the ad. 183 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,350 -I don't wanna see it. -I'm sending it, prom queen. 184 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,686 - What can I get you? -Cute waiter. 185 00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:50,400 I wish he didn't know this. 186 00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,653 Number five, Fishman replaces Els. 187 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,572 Do you think Stanford knows? 188 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:59,325 Probably not, so maybe we shouldn't talk about it in the Madison Square Garden. 189 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,873 I don't think that these people know those people. 190 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:12,463 -Look at how cute he is. - He is gorgeous. 191 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,802 He looked at me, did you see him look at me? 192 00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:19,888 -He totally likes you. -You think? 193 00:11:19,971 --> 00:11:22,807 -Look at these seats. -You're right. 194 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:24,976 These seats are too good to be casual. 195 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:26,978 - Time out. 196 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:32,775 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Knicks City Dancers. 197 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,903 Did I ever tell you I was a cheerleader? 198 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:39,073 No. Because you knew I would mock you endlessly. 199 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:52,337 I left a good job in the city 200 00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:55,298 Working for the man every night and day 201 00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,343 And I never lost one minute of sleeping 202 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,845 I was worrying 'bout the way Things might've been 203 00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,139 You know that big wheel keep on turning 204 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,433 Did you used to to that? 205 00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:09,103 No. We just used some herkies and some kicks. 206 00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,356 Rolling on the river 207 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:17,070 Say we're rolling, rolling Yeah Rolling on the river 208 00:12:23,326 --> 00:12:26,579 -What is she doing? -The blonde one in front? 209 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:27,830 Uh-huh. 210 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:32,627 Rolling, rolling, rolling on the river 211 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,381 -Whoo! -She's flirting with your boyfriend. 212 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,174 He's not my boyfriend. 213 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,720 What is she, like, 21? 214 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:47,350 It was Friday night. It was the big game, 215 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,144 and Miranda was jealous of a cheerleader. 216 00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:57,568 Two hours later, the game ended, and Miranda felt like the loser. 217 00:12:58,278 --> 00:12:59,988 Okay, let's just go. 218 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,490 No, you have to go over there and talk to him. 219 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:05,576 -He's talking to her. -You are better than her. 220 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,453 Go on, you can do it. 221 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:09,956 Are you gonna do a herky now? 222 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,333 Just you go over there and flirt a little bit. 223 00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:15,795 Go, go. 224 00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:21,092 The Knicks and Madison Square Garden thank you for coming. 225 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:24,178 -Have a safe trip home. -That's it. I'm out. 226 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,850 Meanwhile, I invited Jeremy to come over and watch a movie... 227 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:32,687 which in high school was code for, "Come over and make out." 228 00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:35,606 And happily, it still was. 229 00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:38,776 Oh, I gotta run. Last train leaves in half an hour. 230 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:41,654 Aww. I think you should stay. 231 00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:44,782 I think we should go all the way. 232 00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:49,037 -All the way. -We never did, and now we can. 233 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,332 And your mother won't walk in with her laundry and her Tab. 234 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,251 That's true. 235 00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,380 But Carrie, I need to be honest with you about something. 236 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:03,468 That's the worst thing you can hear from someone you really like. 237 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,763 I'm not really just taking time off, I'm, uh... 238 00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:10,224 I'm sort of in a... 239 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,646 Mental institution. 240 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:19,692 No, actually, that's the worst thing you can hear. 241 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:23,738 I wanted a man who would commit, not a man who is committed. 242 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:25,948 Apparently, we have to be more specific. 243 00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:29,660 -But how was he able to see you? -Ooh, did he escape? 244 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:34,791 No, he's voluntary. He says it's not really a mental institution, 245 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,460 it's a therapeutic community. 246 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,462 -Which one? -Juno-Spears? 247 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,256 Oh, that's supposed to be a good one. I've had clients go there. 248 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,925 Really? Why haven't we heard about that? 249 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,510 Because I'm good at my job. 250 00:14:45,593 --> 00:14:47,470 No one wants to admit they're in a loony bin. 251 00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:50,348 -On a first date. -It's all humiliating. 252 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,101 Think about what we have to go through to date. 253 00:14:53,184 --> 00:14:56,729 I am 38 and I am competing with a cheerleader. 254 00:14:56,813 --> 00:14:58,189 Yeah, and even when you get the guy, 255 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,733 you never know what fun surprise might be revealed. 256 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,902 Let me tell you something, ladies. 257 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:06,572 In a good relationship, there are no surprises. 258 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:11,911 I know everything about Marcus, and Marcus knows everything about me. 259 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,709 I don't think he knows everything. 260 00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:20,753 What? 261 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:24,632 What? 262 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:27,468 Charlotte, like all girls, learned in early age 263 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,846 that only way to get rid of information 264 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,765 you don't want to have, is to pass it on. 265 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,310 Oh my god. Is this real? 266 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:39,689 Anthony found it in old issue of Honcho magazine. 267 00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:41,774 Let me see that. 268 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,193 Ooh nice. 269 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:45,903 Marcus? 270 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:50,116 -What is that? -Nothing. 271 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,452 Okay, hand it over. 272 00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:56,038 Okay, hand it over. 273 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:03,963 Where did this come from? 274 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:07,967 Someone better tell me where this came from right now. 275 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,260 I'm not kidding. 276 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,013 -I got it from Carrie. -I got it from Miranda. 277 00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:14,223 -I got it from Charlotte. -I got it from Anthony, 278 00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:17,268 but I told him you and Marcus were very much in love. 279 00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,937 Charlotte was still a cheerleader for love. 280 00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:23,649 But like the Knicks, her team was having a bad season. 281 00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:24,609 Well... 282 00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:27,528 You think you know somebody... 283 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:33,326 Excuse me. Which one of you is Annabelle Bronstein? 284 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:34,660 I am. 285 00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:38,831 Well, that's impossible. Ms. Bronstein is in London for the week. 286 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,835 No, I am Annabelle Bronstein. 287 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,421 And she's British. 288 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:49,008 As I was saying, dear sir, 289 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,719 I am Annabelle Bronstein. 290 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,515 I'm fairly certain you're not Annabelle, I've spoken to her on the phone. 291 00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:59,519 I am absolutely Annabelle Bronstein. 292 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:05,358 And I do not pay 900 American dollars annually to be treated like this. 293 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:09,529 Now, ring round the waiter and have him tally up the drinks. 294 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:13,783 -What's with the accent? -She's got a case of a Madonna's. 295 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,245 I'm sorry, but I know for a fact that Annabelle lost her card. 296 00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,580 Yes. 297 00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,541 I thought I did. 298 00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:24,210 But it was on top of the telly. 299 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,713 And Ms. Bronstein is from Sussex... 300 00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:33,052 and I'd venture to guess that you are not, in fact, from the UK. 301 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:38,558 Well, that's true. I was raised in Inja. 302 00:17:38,808 --> 00:17:40,059 On any given day, 303 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:43,437 there are a lot of versions of "crazy" right here in New York. 304 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:47,733 Today, Annabelle Bronstein had multiple personalities... 305 00:17:47,942 --> 00:17:50,319 And at least two accents. 306 00:17:51,988 --> 00:17:53,239 Hey, Hobbes. 307 00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:55,616 Where did you disappear to after the game? 308 00:17:55,866 --> 00:18:00,496 Oh, I was gonna thank you, but you were talking to that girl. 309 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,457 -What girl? -Some cheerleader. 310 00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:06,877 Oh. 311 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,838 -Do you like her? - No. 312 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,883 I like someone else. 313 00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:16,512 You. 314 00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:19,390 This cheered Miranda up immediately. 315 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,267 Now, see, how would I know that? 316 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:23,978 Well... 317 00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,566 Would it be any clearer... 318 00:18:30,401 --> 00:18:31,319 if I did this? 319 00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:45,041 -Hi, Mrs. McCaffrey. -Hello, Mrs. McCaffrey. 320 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,088 I wanted you to have these. 321 00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:52,757 Marbles. 322 00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:56,552 In case I lose any more of mine, I wanna know where I can find the stash. 323 00:18:56,761 --> 00:19:00,264 -How are you? Do you wanna come in? -She asked with trepidation. 324 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,141 No. I think it's great what you're doing-- 325 00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:05,311 I know I probably threw you for a loop the other day, but, erm... 326 00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,856 I should probably just come right out and say something about this, 327 00:19:08,939 --> 00:19:12,526 but I... Truth is, I haven't worked out my rap on it yet. 328 00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,488 Well, it's a tough thing to slip in. 329 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:19,784 Yeah, it is. "Hi, I might be crazy. Would you like to share an appetizer?" 330 00:19:21,619 --> 00:19:24,705 The thing is I think I made it sound worse than it is. 331 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,917 You know, if you saw Juno-Spears, you'd see that it's not a cuckoo's nest. 332 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,045 It's more like... It's like Canyon Ranch for the brain. 333 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:34,840 -Do they have Pilates? -They do have Pilates. 334 00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:40,096 I don't wanna lie to you, I am going through some pretty heavy stuff, 335 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,264 Soul searching, really. 336 00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:47,561 Trying to figure out why some things seem to be harder for me 337 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:48,979 then they are for other people. 338 00:19:49,772 --> 00:19:51,649 I think my family has something to do with it. 339 00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,443 It's always good to blame the parents, right? 340 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,361 Right. 341 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,863 So, I figured I could spend the next 5 years in therapy 342 00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:01,242 or just spend the next month and really deal with it intensively right now. 343 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:04,120 -It's just more efficient. -Well, you'll make a very good case. 344 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:05,871 That's what my doctor said. 345 00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,250 Well, that's it. Ta-da! 346 00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:12,169 I just wanted to explain myself, 347 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,839 so that I didn't become known eternally 348 00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:17,717 as that nutcase you dated back in high school. 349 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,429 How about my high school boyfriend who was the best kisser ever. 350 00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:22,805 I could live with that. 351 00:20:23,597 --> 00:20:25,683 You're not bad yourself either, you know. 352 00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:29,186 That night, we went all the way. 353 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,521 And we weren't the only ones. 354 00:20:30,896 --> 00:20:35,526 Rolling, rolling, rolling on the river 355 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:39,864 All right 356 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,952 The next afternoon, my other crazy boyfriend stopped by. 357 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:48,456 It's true. Marcus was a gay escort. 358 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,417 But he's been off the market since 1992. 359 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:52,626 So you talked about it? 360 00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:57,047 Yes, and he says he did it just to put himself through dance classes. 361 00:20:57,506 --> 00:21:00,342 But if that's true, then why keep it a secret? 362 00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,261 Maybe he was embarrassed. 363 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:05,806 Yes, but it's not the escort thing, 364 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,393 but the secret thing that's bothering me. I was the last to know. 365 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,645 I don't wanna hear the truth from some 366 00:21:11,729 --> 00:21:14,231 bitchy queen with back issues of Honcho. 367 00:21:14,732 --> 00:21:15,608 So... 368 00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:18,110 we broke up. 369 00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:20,821 -Oh, Stanny, really? -Yes. 370 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,867 And right before the prom. 371 00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,870 And I still have to go, because I'm on the decorations committee. 372 00:21:28,162 --> 00:21:30,372 And I have no date again. 373 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,834 -When is it? -Tomorrow night. 374 00:21:34,168 --> 00:21:36,670 Will you please, please, please go with me? 375 00:21:36,754 --> 00:21:39,840 I can't. I have to visit my boyfriend at the asylum. 376 00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,217 Of course you do. 377 00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:43,511 He wants me to see the place for myself. 378 00:21:43,594 --> 00:21:45,471 It supposed to be like Canyon Ranch. 379 00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:47,973 -Honey. -I know. 380 00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,935 -But I like him. -You'd have to. 381 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:53,395 And who are we to say, he's got issues, he's getting help? 382 00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:55,231 Usually, that's considered a good thing. 383 00:21:55,439 --> 00:21:57,817 And it's New York, everybody's insane. 384 00:21:58,192 --> 00:22:00,319 -You slept with him, didn't you? -Yes. 385 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,906 Oh, that's where the problems begin. 386 00:22:03,989 --> 00:22:08,410 You sleep with someone, you start rationalizing away all the red flags. 387 00:22:08,494 --> 00:22:10,412 At least he was honest about it. 388 00:22:10,621 --> 00:22:11,580 Yes. 389 00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:14,124 Unlike Paul. 390 00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:26,595 Hi. 391 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,306 Apparently, the Juno-Spears Center 392 00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:31,809 was harder than the SoHo house to get into. 393 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:33,477 Or out of. 394 00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:42,361 Even as a visitor, 395 00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:45,865 I could see how this was a very relaxing place to get away to. 396 00:22:46,031 --> 00:22:46,949 Mmm. 397 00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:49,660 -It's kinda nice, huh? -Hmm. 398 00:22:49,743 --> 00:22:52,496 There are great hiking trails all around here. 399 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:56,250 -Maybe later we can do a hike. -Oh, I don't really hike. 400 00:22:56,417 --> 00:22:57,543 Neither do I. 401 00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,504 But I will fill you in on something I discovered. 402 00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:01,714 Hiking... 403 00:23:02,798 --> 00:23:04,133 Is walking. 404 00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:05,759 -Really? -Yes, hiking is walking. 405 00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:09,013 I started to think, maybe the Juno-Spears Center 406 00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:11,098 should be mandatory for New Yorkers. 407 00:23:11,307 --> 00:23:13,434 Like the Hamptons, or Fire Island. 408 00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:14,602 Feces! 409 00:23:15,060 --> 00:23:17,479 Feces! Feces! 410 00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:18,814 - Get him! - Feces! 411 00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:25,613 Feces, feces, feces... 412 00:23:25,696 --> 00:23:28,532 I guess that doesn't happen very often at Canyon Ranch, huh? 413 00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,409 I've never been. 414 00:23:30,868 --> 00:23:31,827 It might. 415 00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:35,748 Who am I kidding, this is a full-on psychiatric facility. 416 00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:37,082 With Pilates. 417 00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:39,335 Feces! Feces! 418 00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:41,754 You're definitely the sanest person here. 419 00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:42,880 Well, thank you. 420 00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:45,007 That's kinda like being the best house on a bad block. 421 00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,134 People would advise against buying it. 422 00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:50,638 Or maybe it just... It wasn't the wisest thing 423 00:23:50,721 --> 00:23:52,765 to start something while I was still in here. 424 00:23:55,184 --> 00:23:58,729 Maybe when I get out in eight to ten months. 425 00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:02,107 Eight to ten months? 426 00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:05,444 Yeah, my doctor still thinks I have a lot of work to do. 427 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:09,615 And to be honest with you, I'm comfortable here. 428 00:24:09,698 --> 00:24:15,287 I kinda like it. I like that everybody's craziness is out in the open. 429 00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:18,582 Yeah. 430 00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:20,542 Well... 431 00:24:21,502 --> 00:24:24,505 -I loved seeing you. -I loved seeing you again. 432 00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:28,425 But I understand. 433 00:24:29,093 --> 00:24:32,388 We're just in very different places right now. 434 00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:37,601 Ironically, it was the sanest breakup I ever had. 435 00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:44,775 And now, the Queen and Queen of our prom... 436 00:24:45,025 --> 00:24:48,779 -Carrie Bradshaw and Stanford Blatch. 437 00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:57,913 - Oh, my God, I love this song. -Me, too. 438 00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:00,791 Oh, thank you very much. 439 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,544 If you leave me now 440 00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:07,673 You take away the biggest part of me 441 00:25:10,050 --> 00:25:14,263 Ooh no, baby, please don't go 442 00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:17,182 -This is my best prom ever. -Aww. 443 00:25:17,349 --> 00:25:18,434 Thank you for coming. 444 00:25:18,559 --> 00:25:21,687 Oh, believe me I'm glad to be back with the normal people. 445 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,606 -You know the craziest thing of all? - Hmm? 446 00:25:25,524 --> 00:25:29,570 I somehow thought that after everything I've been through, 447 00:25:29,945 --> 00:25:32,865 I might end up with my high school boyfriend. 448 00:25:34,158 --> 00:25:34,992 Yeah... 449 00:25:35,325 --> 00:25:37,578 I don't think my story's gonna get tied up like that. 450 00:25:37,661 --> 00:25:39,455 Your boyfriend might get tied up. 451 00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:40,998 -And taken away. 452 00:25:41,206 --> 00:25:44,168 Okay, no more jokes, I might be dating him in eight to ten months. 453 00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:49,131 -Oh. -May I cut in? 454 00:25:50,090 --> 00:25:53,052 No, thank you. I already have an escort. 455 00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:59,224 Honey, I didn't tell you because it was part of my past. 456 00:25:59,808 --> 00:26:01,310 It's not who I am anymore. 457 00:26:02,144 --> 00:26:04,021 I was really messed up back then. 458 00:26:04,354 --> 00:26:05,939 But I've got it together now. 459 00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:09,068 And it's prom night, 460 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,694 and we have to have a dance. 461 00:26:14,740 --> 00:26:16,533 Why don't I get some punch? 462 00:26:24,875 --> 00:26:26,210 Just tell me one thing. 463 00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:31,757 Did you ever, ever sleep with that little bitchy pine nut Anthony? 464 00:26:32,132 --> 00:26:33,759 No. God, no. 465 00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:41,600 Ooh no, baby, please don't go 466 00:26:50,984 --> 00:26:55,948 Ooh girl, just got to have you By my side 467 00:26:59,409 --> 00:27:02,371 So, maybe it won't look the way you thought it'd look in high school. 468 00:27:03,163 --> 00:27:05,958 But it's good to remember love is possible. 469 00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:10,212 Anything is possible. 470 00:27:10,671 --> 00:27:12,548 This is New York. 471 00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:22,141 Ooh mama, I just got to have your lovin'