1 00:00:57,375 --> 00:00:59,166 Let's be honest. 2 00:00:59,250 --> 00:01:01,291 Sometimes there is nothing harder in life 3 00:01:01,375 --> 00:01:03,750 than being happy for somebody else. 4 00:01:03,834 --> 00:01:05,333 Like lottery winners 5 00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:09,792 or extremely successful people who are twenty-seven. 6 00:01:09,875 --> 00:01:12,417 And then there's that hell on earth 7 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:15,750 that only your closest friends can inflict on you. 8 00:01:16,792 --> 00:01:19,166 The baby shower. 9 00:01:19,250 --> 00:01:20,458 You could not drag me to that thing 10 00:01:20,542 --> 00:01:22,792 if you put a grappling hook in my mouth. 11 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,333 Frankly, I think it's sad. 12 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:27,250 The way she's using a child to validate her existence. 13 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:28,125 Exactly. 14 00:01:28,208 --> 00:01:29,417 Why can't she just use sex 15 00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:31,041 and a nice cocktail like the rest of us? 16 00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:33,417 I'm happy for her. I am. 17 00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:34,917 If I see another crepe paper stork, 18 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,250 I'm gonna rip its cardboard beak off. 19 00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:38,250 Can I ask you... 20 00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:39,917 would any baby shower bother you 21 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,959 or is this one worse because it's Laney's? 22 00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:51,583 Laney Berlin. 23 00:01:51,667 --> 00:01:53,000 You can't really describe he. 24 00:01:53,083 --> 00:01:54,250 You just had to know her. 25 00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:59,959 Chances are eight years ago, you probably did. 26 00:02:00,834 --> 00:02:02,083 So help me. 27 00:02:02,166 --> 00:02:03,625 She fucks on my couch, 28 00:02:03,709 --> 00:02:04,750 she buys it. 29 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:07,125 Isn't that how you got the couch from me? 30 00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,291 Hey, Laney, show us your tits! 31 00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:10,458 Oh, give it a rest. 32 00:02:10,542 --> 00:02:12,875 You guys have seen enough of my tits. 33 00:02:17,875 --> 00:02:20,417 Laney did A&R for a record label, 34 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:23,625 or as she used to call it, sex with an expense account. 35 00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:25,583 Every time she went on a scouting trip, 36 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,291 she came back with some hot new group 37 00:02:27,375 --> 00:02:30,792 and a gynecological condition no one had ever heard of. 38 00:02:30,875 --> 00:02:33,375 Those things make so many public appearances, 39 00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:35,375 they need a booking agent. 40 00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:40,583 Look at her. 41 00:02:40,667 --> 00:02:42,625 The poster girl for low self-esteem. 42 00:02:42,709 --> 00:02:45,792 You know, I have low self-esteem but I express it the healthy way 43 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:47,750 by eating a box of Double Stuf Oreos. 44 00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:50,625 She's so sad. 45 00:02:51,709 --> 00:02:53,333 Take it off! 46 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:58,375 Samantha and Laney had a long standing rivalry. 47 00:02:58,458 --> 00:03:00,625 Both wild, both sexy. 48 00:03:00,709 --> 00:03:03,583 Both incredibly insecure. 49 00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:07,625 Two years ago, Laney did the most shocking thing of all. 50 00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:10,250 She met a Wall Street investment banker, 51 00:03:10,333 --> 00:03:12,542 married him and moved to Connecticut. 52 00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:14,250 That wasn't supposed to happen. 53 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:16,166 She was supposed to have sex with Sid Vicious 54 00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:17,792 and move to heroin. 55 00:03:20,375 --> 00:03:21,959 Come on, you guys, it'll be fun. 56 00:03:22,041 --> 00:03:24,500 We've never even been to visit her in Connecticut. 57 00:03:24,583 --> 00:03:25,834 Exactly. There's a reason for that. 58 00:03:25,917 --> 00:03:27,834 -Lyme disease? -That's another good one. 59 00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:29,625 But it's a baby shower. 60 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:30,875 No, it's a cult. 61 00:03:30,959 --> 00:03:32,625 It's a cult? What are you talking about? 62 00:03:32,709 --> 00:03:33,792 Listen to me. 63 00:03:33,875 --> 00:03:36,125 They all think the same, dress the same 64 00:03:36,208 --> 00:03:38,458 and sacrifice themselves 65 00:03:38,542 --> 00:03:39,458 babies. 66 00:03:39,542 --> 00:03:40,750 She's insane. 67 00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:43,542 Hey, I've lost two sisters to the motherhood. 68 00:03:43,625 --> 00:03:45,125 I know what I'm talking about. 69 00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:47,709 I think we should go, it's the right thing to do. 70 00:03:47,792 --> 00:03:49,375 Give me one good reason. 71 00:03:49,458 --> 00:03:50,667 Okay, 72 00:03:50,750 --> 00:03:52,709 you're driving down the road, you see a sign, 73 00:03:52,792 --> 00:03:54,375 it says, "Two-headed snake." 74 00:03:54,458 --> 00:03:55,709 You pull over. 75 00:03:55,792 --> 00:03:58,834 Wild Laney is having a baby shower, you pull over. 76 00:03:58,917 --> 00:04:01,667 She's got a point. It's the right thing to do. 77 00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:05,375 Just imagine how fat she must be. 78 00:04:05,458 --> 00:04:07,375 As I penciled in the date, 79 00:04:07,458 --> 00:04:10,166 I noticed something missing. 80 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,458 In between the Versace show and dinner at Moomba, 81 00:04:13,542 --> 00:04:15,417 there it wasn't. 82 00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:17,792 My period... four days late. 83 00:04:19,083 --> 00:04:20,000 That Saturday, 84 00:04:20,083 --> 00:04:21,583 also known as seven days late, 85 00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:25,000 four city girls set off to visit the country mice. 86 00:04:25,083 --> 00:04:27,333 Are we there yet? 87 00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,667 I've already had two of these, 88 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:32,291 so we're gonna be stopping a lot. 89 00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:34,500 Hey, nice outfit. 90 00:04:34,583 --> 00:04:36,333 Is there gonna be some belly dancing at the shower? 91 00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:38,083 Yeah, right after the gifts. 92 00:04:38,166 --> 00:04:40,750 Oh, shit. I totally spaced. 93 00:04:40,834 --> 00:04:42,458 I forgot to buy her a present. 94 00:04:43,375 --> 00:04:44,959 How tacky is it to give the mother to be 95 00:04:45,041 --> 00:04:46,166 a fistful of cash? 96 00:04:46,250 --> 00:04:47,709 Oh, don't worry about it. 97 00:04:47,792 --> 00:04:49,291 You can go in on mine. 98 00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:52,333 You bought a pregnant woman a bottle of scotch? 99 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,959 The invitation said BYOB. 100 00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:56,792 That meant bring your own baby. 101 00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:58,875 -What did you get her? -Condoms. 102 00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:00,625 Seriously, what'd you get her? 103 00:05:00,709 --> 00:05:01,709 Seriously. 104 00:05:01,792 --> 00:05:03,542 They're pastel. 105 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,917 -Oh. Hey, guys! Wait, wait! 106 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,333 Hey, guys, wait for me! 107 00:05:08,417 --> 00:05:09,959 -Oh, my God. Wait! 108 00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:11,709 Look at the size of that thing. 109 00:05:11,792 --> 00:05:13,083 We can drive that to Connecticut. 110 00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:14,959 I'm putting my name on that card. 111 00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:16,000 All right. 112 00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,083 Go, go, go, go, go. 113 00:05:23,125 --> 00:05:25,208 Does anybody know how to drive? 114 00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:33,417 As I turned the mid-size coupe on to Holly Hock lane, 115 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,458 I was struck by how a place so filled with nature 116 00:05:36,542 --> 00:05:38,917 could look so unnatural. 117 00:05:48,250 --> 00:05:49,333 Oh, Toto. 118 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,917 I don't think we're in Manhattan anymore. 119 00:05:52,834 --> 00:05:55,333 Oh, her house is beautiful. 120 00:05:55,417 --> 00:05:58,083 Oh, and look at her dog. 121 00:05:58,166 --> 00:05:59,417 Hey, boy. 122 00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:01,166 Hey, boy, come here, boy. 123 00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:02,291 Come here, boy. 124 00:06:08,041 --> 00:06:09,333 Why didn't he come? 125 00:06:09,417 --> 00:06:11,208 Invisible electric fencing. 126 00:06:11,291 --> 00:06:12,458 It's the latest thing. 127 00:06:12,542 --> 00:06:14,250 My sister has it. 128 00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:15,500 Okay. 129 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:17,166 Ready, girls? 130 00:06:18,125 --> 00:06:19,125 Let's go. 131 00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:27,000 Ooh, Charlotte, sweetie, don't forget our gift. 132 00:06:27,458 --> 00:06:28,625 Come on. 133 00:06:40,458 --> 00:06:42,500 Oh, look at you, you're huge. 134 00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:43,917 I know, isn't it great? 135 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,041 I can eat anything I want. Jealous? 136 00:06:46,125 --> 00:06:47,458 -Come on in. 137 00:06:47,542 --> 00:06:49,083 Come in, come in. 138 00:06:50,041 --> 00:06:52,917 Brigid, Roxanne, these are my friends from the city. 139 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,208 Hi. -We didn't think you'd make it. 140 00:06:55,291 --> 00:06:56,375 Oh, we got lost. 141 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,625 We took the wrong bridge. 142 00:06:57,709 --> 00:06:59,166 Oh, remember that feeling like if you left 143 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,917 Manhattan even for a second, 144 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,375 you'd fall off the edge of the Earth? 145 00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:04,750 Oh, God, don't remind me. 146 00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:05,709 Hi. 147 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:06,750 Oh, my God. 148 00:07:06,834 --> 00:07:08,959 It's the Bellini baby basket. 149 00:07:09,041 --> 00:07:09,917 Aww! 150 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,125 Oh, look. 151 00:07:11,208 --> 00:07:14,750 Everybody, it's the Bellini baby basket. 152 00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:16,709 Speaking of bellini's, 153 00:07:16,792 --> 00:07:18,667 I'm gonna have a big drink. 154 00:07:19,083 --> 00:07:20,166 Jealous? 155 00:07:22,458 --> 00:07:25,583 Is she still bar hopping and bed hopping? 156 00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,417 It's so sad, isn't it? 157 00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:29,000 When that's all you have. 158 00:07:29,458 --> 00:07:31,250 Okay, this is Rebecca. 159 00:07:31,333 --> 00:07:32,583 -Hi. Hi. 160 00:07:32,667 --> 00:07:33,583 Susan. 161 00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:34,625 -Hello. -Hello. 162 00:07:34,709 --> 00:07:35,583 Mindy. -Hey. 163 00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:36,709 Don't get up, sweetheart. 164 00:07:36,792 --> 00:07:38,125 She's doing this in vitro thing. 165 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,709 She's not supposed to move at all. 166 00:07:41,458 --> 00:07:43,291 And that's Betsy and her boy, Harry. 167 00:07:43,375 --> 00:07:45,667 They're inseparable. They do everything together. 168 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:47,375 We call them our old married couple. 169 00:07:47,458 --> 00:07:49,041 Except it's not really that funny 170 00:07:49,125 --> 00:07:51,542 now that Betsy and her husband are getting divorced. 171 00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:53,542 Laney, we need you. 172 00:07:54,834 --> 00:07:57,709 So, all I have to do to meet the ideal man is... 173 00:07:58,083 --> 00:07:59,542 give birth to him. 174 00:08:00,041 --> 00:08:01,542 I love my son. 175 00:08:01,625 --> 00:08:02,875 Andy's eleven months old. 176 00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:06,208 He is a God and I tell him so every day. 177 00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:10,291 Thirty years from now, 178 00:08:10,375 --> 00:08:12,333 what do you think the chances are that some woman's 179 00:08:12,417 --> 00:08:14,792 gonna be able to make Andy happy? 180 00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:16,500 I'm gonna go with zero. 181 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:23,125 Oh, it's adorable. 182 00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:24,750 Look at that Charlotte. 183 00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:27,000 Oh, I wish they made this in my size. 184 00:08:27,917 --> 00:08:29,208 I told you, it's a cult. 185 00:08:29,291 --> 00:08:30,625 We can't separate. 186 00:08:30,709 --> 00:08:33,208 Once they isolate you from the herd, it's all over. 187 00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:36,291 As I watched Laney tear open a terry cloth baby bib 188 00:08:36,375 --> 00:08:38,792 with the same enthusiasm she once reserved for tearing off 189 00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:42,208 rock stars' pants, I couldn't help but wonder... 190 00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:45,000 was I next? 191 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,250 You know what, I have to pee. 192 00:08:49,333 --> 00:08:52,917 If you're not back in five minutes, I'm coming after you. 193 00:08:56,417 --> 00:08:59,250 The truth is I needed to escape. 194 00:08:59,333 --> 00:09:01,834 The party had turned into a preview, 195 00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:05,458 a preview of a life I didn't know if I was ready for. 196 00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:13,333 Even seven months pregnant, 197 00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:15,583 Laney couldn't keep her clothes on. 198 00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:18,959 Clearly a part of the old Laney had survived. 199 00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:21,291 But I wondered, what was still buried 200 00:09:21,375 --> 00:09:23,667 deep inside the mommies downstairs? 201 00:09:23,959 --> 00:09:27,709 Before I married my husband, I slept around with everybody. 202 00:09:27,792 --> 00:09:30,291 Now I have an internet lover. 203 00:09:30,625 --> 00:09:32,625 -No one knows. 204 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,667 When I was senior vice president, 205 00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:38,750 212 people reported to me on a daily basis. 206 00:09:38,834 --> 00:09:40,959 Now I just yell at the gardener... 207 00:09:41,041 --> 00:09:43,458 who doesn't understand a single word. 208 00:09:44,792 --> 00:09:46,625 I'm exactly the same. 209 00:09:46,709 --> 00:09:48,166 I love my life. 210 00:09:48,250 --> 00:09:51,709 But every now and then I can't help but think about... 211 00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:53,834 Lisa. 212 00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:57,667 Sometimes I climb up into the kids' tree house 213 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,625 with my walkman, 214 00:09:59,709 --> 00:10:03,709 light up a joint and listen to Peter Frampton. 215 00:10:18,917 --> 00:10:21,208 There's a woman in there breastfeeding a child 216 00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:22,583 who can chew steak. 217 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,709 You know how I feel about that? 218 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:28,500 If you can ask for it, you're probably too old to have it. 219 00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:30,750 Jeremy, no! 220 00:10:31,792 --> 00:10:33,291 I just realized, 221 00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:36,166 maybe it's maturity or the wisdom that comes with age, 222 00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:39,208 but the witch in Hansel and Gretel , 223 00:10:39,291 --> 00:10:41,125 she's very misunderstood. 224 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,792 I mean, the woman builds her dream house 225 00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:47,667 and these brats come along and start eating it. 226 00:10:50,792 --> 00:10:53,208 I just have to tell you your home is beautiful. 227 00:10:53,291 --> 00:10:54,250 Thank you. 228 00:10:54,625 --> 00:10:56,458 I know it's a big change. 229 00:10:56,542 --> 00:10:59,875 But at some point you have to get serious and settle down. 230 00:10:59,959 --> 00:11:02,417 I mean, life is not a Jacqueline Susann novel. 231 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:06,000 Four friends looking for life and love in the big city. 232 00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,166 No. 233 00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:09,875 Stop it. 234 00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:12,166 You are not gonna clean up at your own shower. 235 00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:15,750 Yeah, relax, 'cause once little Todd or Shayla comes around, 236 00:11:15,834 --> 00:11:17,458 you'll never stop cleaning up. 237 00:11:17,542 --> 00:11:18,917 Shayla? Did you say Shayla? 238 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,083 It's so unique, isn't it? 239 00:11:21,166 --> 00:11:22,458 It's so my name. 240 00:11:22,959 --> 00:11:24,959 I thought your name was Charlotte. 241 00:11:25,041 --> 00:11:26,208 No, it's not my name. 242 00:11:26,291 --> 00:11:27,500 It's my name. 243 00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:29,667 My secret baby name that I made up when I was 244 00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:32,208 eleven years old for my daughter when I had her. 245 00:11:32,291 --> 00:11:33,333 I told you. 246 00:11:33,417 --> 00:11:35,166 Don't tell me you don't remember. 247 00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:37,542 No, I'm sorry. I-- I really don't. 248 00:11:37,625 --> 00:11:39,000 A complete lie. 249 00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:40,291 She remembered. 250 00:11:40,375 --> 00:11:41,625 We all remembered. 251 00:11:41,709 --> 00:11:44,333 Charlotte had made us all swear never to use it. 252 00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:46,333 Anyway, I think my husband heard it somewhere else. 253 00:11:46,417 --> 00:11:49,000 Really, where? Because I didn't tell him. 254 00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:51,959 I can't believe you're freaking out over a name. 255 00:11:52,041 --> 00:11:54,083 I mean, you're not even pregnant. 256 00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:55,458 That's not the point! 257 00:11:55,542 --> 00:11:57,166 What's going on? 258 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,125 She stole my baby name. 259 00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:01,250 -You bitch! 260 00:12:01,709 --> 00:12:03,125 Let's go. 261 00:12:09,291 --> 00:12:12,208 Beers and bar nuts at Flanagan's off route five 262 00:12:12,291 --> 00:12:15,959 were the perfect antidote to Laney's house of humiliation. 263 00:12:16,041 --> 00:12:18,709 If I hadn't waited this long to have a baby, 264 00:12:18,792 --> 00:12:20,291 that name would be mine. 265 00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:22,375 Oh, Charlotte, come on. You're still young. 266 00:12:22,458 --> 00:12:24,709 You have plenty of time to have children. 267 00:12:24,792 --> 00:12:26,125 No, no I don't. 268 00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:29,291 I don't want to be one of those forty-year-old moms. 269 00:12:29,792 --> 00:12:31,083 No, no offense. 270 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:33,417 Well, I don't want to be one of them either. 271 00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:36,166 There are no frozen eggs in my freezer. 272 00:12:36,959 --> 00:12:38,542 Was the bathroom clean? 273 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,375 What do you think? 274 00:12:40,458 --> 00:12:43,583 This is why I hate baby showers. 275 00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:45,417 Always leave feeling depressed. 276 00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:47,542 Patty, another round. 277 00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:50,917 Well, I for one love my life and I will not be 278 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,083 made to feel inadequate by all this baby talk. 279 00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:56,667 I spoke to a woman with a master's in finance. 280 00:12:56,750 --> 00:13:00,125 -All she wanted to talk about was her Diaper Genie. 281 00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:02,166 Oh, come on, you guys, it doesn't have to be like that. 282 00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:04,083 You don't have to lose yourself to have a kid. 283 00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:08,667 I know plenty of cool, hip mothers who live in the city 284 00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:11,875 and who still have great careers and stuff. 285 00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,417 -Who? -Who? 286 00:13:14,709 --> 00:13:16,458 I'm late. I missed my period. 287 00:13:16,542 --> 00:13:19,333 Patty, honey, where are those beers? 288 00:13:19,709 --> 00:13:20,834 How late? 289 00:13:20,917 --> 00:13:24,458 I don't know, just a few... seven days. 290 00:13:24,542 --> 00:13:26,917 Oh, honey, gray area. 291 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,125 True, you're in front of the firing squad, 292 00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:31,500 but you haven't been shot. 293 00:13:31,583 --> 00:13:33,458 I was once ten days late. 294 00:13:33,542 --> 00:13:34,458 Really? 295 00:13:34,542 --> 00:13:36,166 Were you having sex? 296 00:13:36,959 --> 00:13:38,041 No. 297 00:13:39,375 --> 00:13:41,458 -What are you gonna do? 298 00:13:41,542 --> 00:13:42,834 You gonna tell Mr. Big? 299 00:13:42,917 --> 00:13:45,792 No, I am not gonna tell him until I know what I... 300 00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:48,709 Until I know how I... What-- 301 00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:53,625 No, I'm, I am not going to tell him 302 00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,542 until I know how to finish the sentence. 303 00:13:58,792 --> 00:13:59,834 What did I miss? 304 00:13:59,917 --> 00:14:01,417 Nothing. 305 00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:06,875 That night, Charlotte got out her wish box where she kept 306 00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:10,250 reminders of all the things she hoped for in life. 307 00:14:10,959 --> 00:14:12,583 A gift for Shayla. 308 00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:17,166 A townhouse in the city. 309 00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,542 A beach house in East Hampton. 310 00:14:23,458 --> 00:14:24,709 Her dream man. 311 00:14:28,792 --> 00:14:30,417 Her back-up dream man. 312 00:14:32,625 --> 00:14:34,834 It's very strange when the life you never had 313 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,125 flashes before your eyes. 314 00:14:38,041 --> 00:14:40,417 Carrie held hostage, day eight. 315 00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,333 Miranda and I went shopping. 316 00:14:42,417 --> 00:14:44,709 I'm on total ovary overload. 317 00:14:44,792 --> 00:14:46,208 Which kind do I get? 318 00:14:46,291 --> 00:14:49,083 Here, this one's on sale. Half off. 319 00:14:49,166 --> 00:14:51,375 Sweetie, I just spent three hundred and ninety-five dollars 320 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:53,417 on a pair of open toed Gucci's last week. 321 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:56,125 -This is not the place to be frugal. -All right. 322 00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:57,542 Well, what about this one? 323 00:14:57,625 --> 00:14:59,458 Oh, First Response. I remember First Response. 324 00:14:59,542 --> 00:15:01,875 I had a very reassuring moment once with First Response. 325 00:15:01,959 --> 00:15:03,250 Oh. 326 00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:05,625 Here's hoping. 327 00:15:05,709 --> 00:15:09,041 Cosmetics, pick up line two. Line two, Cosmetics... 328 00:15:09,125 --> 00:15:10,166 What if I am? 329 00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,875 If you am, you am. 330 00:15:12,959 --> 00:15:15,917 I don't think I'd be very good at this. 331 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,542 I mean, am I maternal? 332 00:15:19,291 --> 00:15:21,709 -Um... -You know, when I was a little girl, 333 00:15:21,792 --> 00:15:24,500 I left my favorite baby doll out in the rain for four days. 334 00:15:24,583 --> 00:15:25,750 Her face peeled off. 335 00:15:25,834 --> 00:15:26,709 That can't be good. 336 00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:28,083 Yeah, but, I mean, if you-- 337 00:15:28,166 --> 00:15:30,250 I shaved my Barbie's head when I was mad at her. 338 00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,250 When I was little, I took a rubber band 339 00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,333 and put it around my dog Pepper's snout. 340 00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,458 -What? -Oh, God. 341 00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:42,750 Can you picture it? 342 00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:43,750 Us with... 343 00:15:43,834 --> 00:15:45,166 Kids? 344 00:15:45,792 --> 00:15:46,917 Babies. 345 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,417 I'll probably end up with five. 346 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,125 Five hours and two packs of gum later, 347 00:15:52,208 --> 00:15:54,166 I decided I couldn't take the test 348 00:15:54,250 --> 00:15:57,041 till I knew exactly how I felt about the results. 349 00:15:57,125 --> 00:15:58,125 Either way... 350 00:16:04,417 --> 00:16:05,417 Hello. 351 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:06,333 It's Laney. 352 00:16:06,417 --> 00:16:08,083 Oh, hi. 353 00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:10,542 I just wanted to tell you it was so great to see you guys the other day. 354 00:16:10,625 --> 00:16:11,959 I know I was a big bitch, 355 00:16:12,041 --> 00:16:14,750 but you gotta know my hormones are going wild. 356 00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:16,709 The truth is Laney's hormones have been 357 00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:18,500 going wild since she was ten. 358 00:16:18,583 --> 00:16:22,458 And seeing you made me remember how much fun we used to have. 359 00:16:22,542 --> 00:16:23,625 Yeah, we did. 360 00:16:23,709 --> 00:16:25,750 It's amazing how much time has gone by. 361 00:16:25,834 --> 00:16:27,208 Tell me about it. 362 00:16:27,709 --> 00:16:28,792 But I miss us. 363 00:16:28,875 --> 00:16:29,875 I really do. 364 00:16:29,959 --> 00:16:31,959 We should get together more often. 365 00:16:32,041 --> 00:16:33,333 Mm-hmm. 366 00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:36,542 But, I mean, we should get together. 367 00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:39,625 Not just say we're going to, but really do it. 368 00:16:39,709 --> 00:16:40,792 Absolutely. 369 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,500 Listen, I've got to go. I'm running late. 370 00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:43,834 Where you off to? 371 00:16:43,917 --> 00:16:45,917 Um, actually Samantha's having one of her parties. 372 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,792 -She is? -Yeah. 373 00:16:47,875 --> 00:16:49,125 Oh, man. 374 00:16:49,333 --> 00:16:51,834 See, that's the kind of thing-- I love Samantha's parties. 375 00:16:51,917 --> 00:16:53,041 Why didn't you tell me? 376 00:16:53,125 --> 00:16:55,333 Next time, I promise, all right? 377 00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:57,041 Okay, bye. 378 00:16:59,375 --> 00:17:01,208 Faced with her own inadequacy, 379 00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:03,875 Samantha did something only Samantha could do. 380 00:17:03,959 --> 00:17:06,166 She threw an "I don't have a baby" shower 381 00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:08,333 to let everyone know she was fabulous. 382 00:17:08,417 --> 00:17:10,458 Great to see you. 383 00:17:10,542 --> 00:17:12,500 Oh, I don't have a baby! 384 00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:14,208 Everybody drink! 385 00:17:15,583 --> 00:17:16,792 Are you having fun? 386 00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:19,750 Yes, I am, but not quite as much fun as Miranda. 387 00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:22,875 Still convinced that marriage plus baby equals death, 388 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,417 Miranda chose life. 389 00:17:24,500 --> 00:17:27,375 Also known as Ed, Samantha's accountant. 390 00:17:27,458 --> 00:17:30,250 If she fucks on that couch, she buys it. 391 00:17:32,792 --> 00:17:35,125 Ah... 392 00:17:37,041 --> 00:17:38,166 Hey, you guys. 393 00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:40,458 The entertainment has arrived. 394 00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:43,875 What are you doing here? 395 00:17:43,959 --> 00:17:44,959 What I do best. 396 00:17:45,041 --> 00:17:46,333 Partying! 397 00:17:46,417 --> 00:17:48,041 Here, maybe we better sit down. 398 00:17:48,125 --> 00:17:49,542 Fuck no. Where's the bar? 399 00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:50,959 Somebody get me a drink! 400 00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:52,917 No, I don't know, Laney. You think that's a good idea? 401 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,375 Fuck yeah, I'm due any day. 402 00:17:54,458 --> 00:17:56,458 What's one little drink gonna matter? 403 00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:59,250 Maybe it will help me go into labor. 404 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,333 She gives birth on that couch, she buys it. 405 00:18:03,417 --> 00:18:04,750 What are you doing here? 406 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:06,083 What is she doing here? 407 00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:07,959 -I missed you guys. Oh, us, us? 408 00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:09,583 The pathetic, live for the moment, 409 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,458 New York single girls who think that life 410 00:18:11,542 --> 00:18:12,959 is a Jacqueline Susann novel? 411 00:18:13,041 --> 00:18:15,542 Look, I'm sure you get asked this all the time, but... 412 00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:16,750 what is your problem? 413 00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,166 My problem? 414 00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:21,250 Just that I had a dream and you killed it in a nutshell. 415 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:22,959 Really? Well, then you're lucky. 416 00:18:23,041 --> 00:18:25,208 Because at least you know what happened to your dream. 417 00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:27,458 I have absolutely no idea what happened to mine. 418 00:18:29,458 --> 00:18:32,542 I spent the next hour keeping Charlotte away from Laney 419 00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:34,417 and Laney away from the vodka. 420 00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,417 Well, well, well, look who came up for air. 421 00:18:36,500 --> 00:18:39,834 He's a good kisser and he's gonna do my taxes for free. 422 00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:41,291 Excuse me. Sorry. 423 00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:42,333 Hey, Carrie. 424 00:18:42,417 --> 00:18:43,834 Hey, Jonathan. 425 00:18:43,917 --> 00:18:45,750 Listen, I've just been talking to your friend, Charlotte. 426 00:18:45,834 --> 00:18:48,875 She's really great. Is, um, she seeing anybody? 427 00:18:48,959 --> 00:18:49,959 Wide open. 428 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,333 Just don't mention the name "Shayla." 429 00:18:52,417 --> 00:18:53,542 Sorry? 430 00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:54,834 Nothing. It's a private joke. 431 00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:57,125 Go forth... and date. 432 00:18:57,208 --> 00:18:59,250 His name was Jonathan Bicks. 433 00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:01,125 He was a trader at Bear Stearns 434 00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:05,250 and had just closed escrow on a house in the Hamptons. 435 00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:08,583 Charlotte suddenly realized all was not lost. 436 00:19:08,667 --> 00:19:10,166 As she sipped her beer, 437 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,291 she mentally scotch-taped her dream house 438 00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:13,709 back together again. 439 00:19:15,834 --> 00:19:18,125 This party sucks. 440 00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:21,458 Laney, maybe we should think about getting you home, all right? 441 00:19:21,542 --> 00:19:24,041 No, I don't want to go back there. 442 00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:29,959 Hey, you fuckers! Who wants to see my tits? 443 00:19:31,375 --> 00:19:32,709 I'll take a look. 444 00:19:32,792 --> 00:19:35,000 Laney, Laney, come on, come back. Don't do this. 445 00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:37,125 Relax. This is gonna be fun. 446 00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:40,000 All right, look. Now we're gonna have a party. 447 00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:42,917 All right. Pregnant lady showing her tits! 448 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,250 Whoo! 449 00:19:46,375 --> 00:19:47,709 Oh, my God. 450 00:19:47,792 --> 00:19:49,834 This is at once so sad 451 00:19:49,917 --> 00:19:54,125 and the most fabulous validation I've ever gotten in my life. 452 00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:05,709 This is weird. 453 00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:08,750 I-- I don't-- I... 454 00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,625 I don't think I can do this. 455 00:20:12,792 --> 00:20:14,166 No biggie. 456 00:20:17,291 --> 00:20:20,041 Despite her best efforts to run free, 457 00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:23,333 it appeared that Laney Berlin's invisible electric fence 458 00:20:23,417 --> 00:20:25,750 stretched all the way to Manhattan. 459 00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:28,959 No, no, I know I can do it. 460 00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:30,583 Just-- just give me one more chance. 461 00:20:30,667 --> 00:20:33,208 Laney, Laney, it's not who you are anymore. 462 00:20:33,291 --> 00:20:34,792 It's all right. 463 00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:37,875 But I didn't know that was gonna happen. 464 00:20:37,959 --> 00:20:40,125 No-- nobody told me that was gonna happen. 465 00:20:40,208 --> 00:20:43,291 I mean, somebody should warn you. 466 00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:46,000 All right. 467 00:20:47,417 --> 00:20:49,041 One day you're gonna wake up 468 00:20:49,125 --> 00:20:51,834 and you're not gonna recognize yourself. 469 00:20:59,834 --> 00:21:02,166 Can you take her to Connecticut? 470 00:21:11,375 --> 00:21:14,792 I spent the entire next day sitting on a park bench 471 00:21:14,875 --> 00:21:16,959 watching children play. 472 00:21:19,542 --> 00:21:22,375 If I had to, could I do this? 473 00:21:24,542 --> 00:21:26,375 Would I be any good? 474 00:21:27,834 --> 00:21:30,667 Would I somehow manage to stay me? 475 00:21:38,917 --> 00:21:40,709 Hello. 476 00:21:40,792 --> 00:21:43,875 Oh, my. 477 00:21:43,959 --> 00:21:45,709 Oh, sorry. 478 00:21:46,208 --> 00:21:47,542 That's okay. 479 00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:48,792 She's adorable. 480 00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:50,458 Yeah, most of the time. 481 00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:51,959 You want to go home? Yeah. 482 00:21:52,041 --> 00:21:53,333 Yeah, yeah. 483 00:21:53,417 --> 00:21:55,417 -Bye. Bye-bye. 484 00:21:56,417 --> 00:21:57,875 Bye. 485 00:22:01,166 --> 00:22:05,000 On the way home, I got my period.