1 00:00:57,125 --> 00:01:00,166 [Carrie] New York City is all about sex. 2 00:01:00,250 --> 00:01:02,000 People getting it. 3 00:01:02,083 --> 00:01:03,875 People trying to get it. 4 00:01:03,959 --> 00:01:05,667 And people who can't get it. 5 00:01:05,750 --> 00:01:07,500 No wonder the city never sleeps, 6 00:01:07,583 --> 00:01:09,208 it's too busy trying to get laid. 7 00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:13,542 But if you ever actually do manage to get someone in bed, 8 00:01:13,625 --> 00:01:14,959 the real fun begins. 9 00:01:17,125 --> 00:01:18,709 That's the kind with nuts in it. 10 00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:19,917 Mm-hmm. 11 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:21,125 We love our nuts. 12 00:01:21,208 --> 00:01:22,417 Mm-hmm. 13 00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:25,500 Mmm. 14 00:01:26,041 --> 00:01:27,709 [both laugh] 15 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,208 [Carrie] After sleeping together for many weeks, 16 00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,500 Mr. Big and I had gotten comfortable enough 17 00:01:33,583 --> 00:01:35,375 to really sleep together. 18 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,000 It was nice. 19 00:01:42,083 --> 00:01:44,834 It was the way I'd always dreamed it could be. 20 00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:46,625 Good morning. 21 00:01:46,875 --> 00:01:47,834 Morning. 22 00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:56,291 [farts] 23 00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:59,500 Was that you? 24 00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:02,875 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 25 00:02:02,959 --> 00:02:05,583 I think it might be worse under there. 26 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,667 [Carrie] Shut up. Shut up! 27 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:11,792 -Shut up! -[laughing] 28 00:02:11,875 --> 00:02:14,166 I hadn't dressed so quickly since the time I was caught 29 00:02:14,250 --> 00:02:15,667 in the boy's dorm sophomore year. 30 00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:17,208 [Mr. Big] Wait. Don't you want some coffee? 31 00:02:17,291 --> 00:02:19,875 Oh, gosh. I'm late for a thing. 32 00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:22,500 Oh, my God. 33 00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:24,959 I was mortified. Oh. 34 00:02:25,041 --> 00:02:27,125 I didn't call him the rest of the day. 35 00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:28,667 I tried to lose myself in work, 36 00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:31,291 but every time I stopped for a second to think, 37 00:02:31,375 --> 00:02:33,000 -[farting] -Oh, God. 38 00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:37,000 I'd relive my hell all over again. 39 00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:40,458 The next day, I realized how childish I was behaving. 40 00:02:40,542 --> 00:02:42,458 I decided to stop avoiding the situation 41 00:02:42,542 --> 00:02:44,250 and take the grown-up approach, 42 00:02:44,333 --> 00:02:45,625 complete and utter denial. 43 00:02:45,709 --> 00:02:48,500 Oh, so I saw The Met is opening a new Goya exhibit. 44 00:02:48,583 --> 00:02:49,959 Do you want to go this Saturday? 45 00:02:50,875 --> 00:02:51,917 Sure. 46 00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:55,667 Could you get me some more duck sauce, please? 47 00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,417 I most certainly can. 48 00:02:59,250 --> 00:03:01,500 Oh, and then we have to stop and see the Renoirs. 49 00:03:01,583 --> 00:03:03,291 I love the Renoirs. 50 00:03:03,542 --> 00:03:04,709 Okay. 51 00:03:06,083 --> 00:03:09,291 -[whoopie cushion farts] -[laughs] 52 00:03:10,583 --> 00:03:12,583 [Carrie] There's a moment in every relationship 53 00:03:12,667 --> 00:03:14,917 where romance gives way to reality. 54 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,375 You know, you know what? 55 00:03:34,458 --> 00:03:35,917 I'm exhausted. 56 00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:39,125 You mind if we just call it a night? 57 00:03:39,792 --> 00:03:40,959 -Okay? -Sure. 58 00:03:41,041 --> 00:03:42,166 Sorry. 59 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:46,917 Goodnight. 60 00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:51,333 That was the first night we slept together 61 00:03:51,417 --> 00:03:53,125 and didn't make love. 62 00:03:53,208 --> 00:03:56,875 By the middle of the next week, it was three times in a row, 63 00:03:56,959 --> 00:03:58,208 and I was beginning to worry. 64 00:03:58,291 --> 00:03:59,208 Three times? 65 00:03:59,291 --> 00:04:00,291 Try three months. 66 00:04:00,375 --> 00:04:01,959 -No. -Yes. 67 00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:03,792 Now would be a good time 68 00:04:03,875 --> 00:04:06,166 to wipe that horrified look off your face. 69 00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:08,041 Sorry, sweetie. I'm sorry. 70 00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:10,667 I just-- wow, I didn't know. Where have I been? 71 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:12,208 You've been having sex. 72 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:15,375 I've been at Blockbuster renting videos. 73 00:04:15,458 --> 00:04:16,875 It's tragic. 74 00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:19,417 I'm like two rentals away from a free pound of gummy bears. 75 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:21,208 Oh, relax. You're just in a dry spell. 76 00:04:21,291 --> 00:04:22,667 I can't believe you said that. 77 00:04:22,750 --> 00:04:24,750 You're all freaked out about three times. 78 00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:27,000 -I'm talking three months. -Yeah, but that's different. 79 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,250 Not doing it when you're with someone means much more 80 00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:31,417 than not doing it when you're not with someone. 81 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:32,750 What are you worried about? 82 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,000 I thought you said everything felt 83 00:04:34,083 --> 00:04:35,542 really comfortable and great. 84 00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:37,417 Yeah, well, maybe too comfortable. 85 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,542 What do you mean? 86 00:04:41,125 --> 00:04:42,250 I farted. 87 00:04:42,333 --> 00:04:45,500 I farted in front of my boyfriend. 88 00:04:45,583 --> 00:04:47,000 And? 89 00:04:47,083 --> 00:04:48,500 And we're no longer having sex 90 00:04:48,583 --> 00:04:51,750 and he thinks of me as one of the boys. 91 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,792 And I'm gonna have to move to another city 92 00:04:53,875 --> 00:04:57,208 where the shame of this won't follow me. 93 00:04:57,291 --> 00:04:58,959 You farted! You're human. 94 00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:00,959 I don't want him to know that. 95 00:05:01,041 --> 00:05:03,709 I mean, he's this perfect guy. 96 00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:06,291 You know, he walks around his perfect apartment with his perfect suit. 97 00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:08,208 And he's just perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect. 98 00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:09,792 And I'm the girl who farts. 99 00:05:09,875 --> 00:05:12,792 -No wonder we're not having sex. -You're insane. 100 00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:14,291 It's been three times. 101 00:05:14,375 --> 00:05:15,417 It's perfectly normal. 102 00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:16,458 Says who? 103 00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:20,041 I mean, say it's not the-- 104 00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:22,417 then what else is going on? 105 00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:25,000 I mean is it normal to be in the same bed and not do it? 106 00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:28,083 I guess it depends on what's normal for you. 107 00:05:28,166 --> 00:05:29,709 Oh, God, I hate that. 108 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,834 Who am I to know what's normal? 109 00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:34,500 I've been dating a hundred years, I don't have a clue. 110 00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:37,917 Well, three months is not normal for me. 111 00:05:38,417 --> 00:05:40,041 One month was interesting. 112 00:05:40,125 --> 00:05:41,333 Two months was numbing. 113 00:05:41,417 --> 00:05:44,792 Three months, I am going out of my mind. 114 00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:48,125 [Carrie] There are 1.3 million single men in New York. 115 00:05:48,208 --> 00:05:50,166 1.8 million single women. 116 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,208 And of these more than 3 million people, 117 00:05:53,291 --> 00:05:56,667 about 12 think they're having enough sex. 118 00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:58,375 How often is normal? 119 00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,750 I have to masturbate three times a day just to make it through. 120 00:06:01,834 --> 00:06:04,709 Some people take coffee breaks. I take jerk off breaks. 121 00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:07,000 They say the average 33-year old woman 122 00:06:07,083 --> 00:06:08,834 has sex 3.5 times a week. 123 00:06:08,917 --> 00:06:10,500 I'd like to know who that woman Is. 124 00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:13,291 You know, my wife and I haven't had sex since the baby was born. 125 00:06:13,917 --> 00:06:16,125 The baby's applying to Yale next fall. 126 00:06:16,208 --> 00:06:23,417 Oh, once, one time a day, but two time on very special day. 127 00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:25,709 Normal is the halfway point 128 00:06:25,792 --> 00:06:28,583 between what you want and what you can get. 129 00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,291 [Carrie] Even in the plow position, 130 00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:33,542 I could count on Samantha for amazing sexual clarity. 131 00:06:33,625 --> 00:06:36,333 Very good. Let's move on to downward facing dog. 132 00:06:36,417 --> 00:06:37,583 Whoof. 133 00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:41,792 With him, I could do it every hour on the hour. 134 00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:43,709 Do you think it means something 135 00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:45,875 if Big and I are sleeping together 136 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,709 but we're not sleeping together? 137 00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:48,709 The truth? 138 00:06:48,792 --> 00:06:50,291 When have I ever wanted that? 139 00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:51,875 Yeah, okay, tell me. 140 00:06:51,959 --> 00:06:53,000 I think there's trouble. 141 00:06:53,083 --> 00:06:54,709 I mean, sex is a barometer 142 00:06:54,792 --> 00:06:56,667 for what's going on in the relationship. 143 00:06:57,667 --> 00:07:00,166 Well, I wasn't going to tell you this, but, um... 144 00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:03,834 I farted. 145 00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:05,750 Then move your mat away. 146 00:07:05,834 --> 00:07:06,917 Not now. 147 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,834 I did it in front of Big. 148 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:10,750 Huge mistake. 149 00:07:10,834 --> 00:07:11,875 You think? 150 00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:13,417 It wasn't a choice. 151 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:14,709 I'm human. It happened. 152 00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,291 No, honey, you're a woman, 153 00:07:16,375 --> 00:07:18,458 and men don't like women to be human. 154 00:07:18,542 --> 00:07:20,000 We aren't supposed to fart, 155 00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:22,917 douche, use tampons, or have hair in places we shouldn't. 156 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,834 I mean, hell, a guy once broke up with me 157 00:07:24,917 --> 00:07:26,917 because I missed a bikini wax. 158 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,125 I knew it. 159 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:30,083 This is a watershed relationship moment 160 00:07:30,166 --> 00:07:31,500 I'm never gonna be able to erase. 161 00:07:31,583 --> 00:07:32,750 Oh, sure you will. 162 00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:34,750 Just go over there and fuck his brains out, 163 00:07:34,834 --> 00:07:35,917 and he'll forget all about it. 164 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,375 Men aren't that complicated. 165 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:38,750 They're kind of like plants. 166 00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,875 [Siddhartha] Concentrate. Quiet your insides. 167 00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:41,959 Now he tells me. 168 00:07:42,041 --> 00:07:43,500 Roll over on your backs. 169 00:07:43,583 --> 00:07:44,750 Take Goddess pose. 170 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,542 Let your breathing work with you. 171 00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:52,542 In and out. 172 00:07:52,625 --> 00:07:54,125 Ahh. 173 00:07:54,208 --> 00:07:58,000 In, out. 174 00:07:58,083 --> 00:07:59,875 [Samantha] Ahh. 175 00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:02,834 Would you like to go for a coffee some time? 176 00:08:02,917 --> 00:08:05,542 [Carrie] Forty-five minutes and three animal positions later, 177 00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:10,250 Samantha and Siddhartha were sipping green tea at a nearby health food restaurant, 178 00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:11,875 Tofu or Not Tofu. 179 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:15,000 I always feel so amazing after yoga. 180 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,417 My body feels so open. 181 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:20,250 So alive. So ready for anything. 182 00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,041 Samantha. 183 00:08:22,583 --> 00:08:23,750 Yes. 184 00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:25,208 I'm celibate. 185 00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:29,083 I practice Brahmacarya, tantric celibacy. 186 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,333 I gave up sex three years ago. 187 00:08:31,417 --> 00:08:32,959 My God, why? 188 00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:36,083 Or more importantly, why? 189 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:37,875 Didn't you like it? 190 00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:39,125 Oh, I loved it. 191 00:08:39,417 --> 00:08:41,000 I'd have sex morning, noon, and night, 192 00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:43,542 sometimes three women a day and I was always ready for more. 193 00:08:43,625 --> 00:08:45,417 Well, now you're just being cruel. 194 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:46,583 No. 195 00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,125 It was all ego. 196 00:08:48,375 --> 00:08:51,458 And where I am now is so much better than sex. 197 00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:54,834 Oh, come on, honey, nothing's better than sex. 198 00:08:54,917 --> 00:08:57,000 Think about really good foreplay. 199 00:08:57,417 --> 00:09:00,667 Your sexual energy's just starting to awaken. 200 00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:03,458 Now, imagine a three-year foreplay 201 00:09:03,959 --> 00:09:08,291 where all that sexual energy is coursing through your body, 202 00:09:08,375 --> 00:09:09,834 but it never gets released. 203 00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:12,917 It just recycles, 204 00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:14,667 builds, 205 00:09:14,750 --> 00:09:16,000 rises. 206 00:09:16,792 --> 00:09:17,959 Until your entire being 207 00:09:18,041 --> 00:09:22,375 is humming with that electric sexual energy. 208 00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:25,041 My apartment's just around the corner. 209 00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:29,375 The only thing hotter than sex is not having sex. 210 00:09:29,458 --> 00:09:30,959 [Carrie] Amazingly, 211 00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:33,041 talking dirty about not having sex 212 00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:35,208 was the most sexually deviant act 213 00:09:35,291 --> 00:09:37,667 Samantha had participated in for months. 214 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,583 The next night, when I met Charlotte for dinner. 215 00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:42,000 I had reached my own transcendental state, 216 00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:44,291 pure Mr. Big obsession. 217 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,959 Okay, um, the first time he was tired. 218 00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:51,667 And the next two times, I... 219 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:55,208 I don't know. 220 00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:57,458 -It's bad, isn't it? -Carrie, relax. 221 00:09:57,542 --> 00:09:59,583 There's nothing wrong with your relationship. 222 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,792 Well, that's not all, Charlotte. I, um... 223 00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:03,417 What? 224 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,959 [Carrie] I couldn't bring myself to tell her. 225 00:10:06,041 --> 00:10:08,000 I was afraid she'd go spontaneously deaf. 226 00:10:08,083 --> 00:10:08,917 I'm sorry. 227 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,458 Um, what, what were you saying? 228 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,000 People put too much emphasis on the importance of sex. 229 00:10:14,083 --> 00:10:16,792 It's not the most important thing in a relationship. 230 00:10:16,875 --> 00:10:17,750 Right. 231 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,333 Take Kevin and I, for example. 232 00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:22,041 We've been going out for weeks and we still haven't done it. 233 00:10:22,125 --> 00:10:23,166 I mean, 234 00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:25,125 we touch and cuddle, 235 00:10:25,417 --> 00:10:29,500 but he's sweet, and he respects my boundaries, and I like it. 236 00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:32,625 It makes it special. Oh, there he is. 237 00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:34,875 [Carrie] Meeting a friend's new boyfriend for the first time 238 00:10:34,959 --> 00:10:36,500 is always a little tense. 239 00:10:36,583 --> 00:10:38,625 What if you don't like him? What if he doesn't like you? 240 00:10:38,709 --> 00:10:40,834 Kevin, this is my good friend, Carrie. 241 00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:42,959 -Hey, Carrie. -Hi. 242 00:10:43,041 --> 00:10:45,041 [Carrie] What if you've already slept with him? 243 00:10:45,709 --> 00:10:47,375 You two know each other. 244 00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:49,333 Well, kind of. 245 00:10:49,417 --> 00:10:50,834 We used to go out. 246 00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:53,834 Well, kind of used to go out. 247 00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:56,500 -[beeping] -You two used to go out. 248 00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:57,583 That's so funny. 249 00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:59,125 Isn't that funny? 250 00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:01,125 That's my office. I gotta take this. 251 00:11:01,208 --> 00:11:02,542 I'll be right back. 252 00:11:06,208 --> 00:11:07,250 Okay, when? 253 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:09,875 Um, three years ago. 254 00:11:09,959 --> 00:11:11,583 Three years, I can live with that. 255 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,333 Serious? 256 00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:14,834 -No. -Good. 257 00:11:14,917 --> 00:11:16,250 Why'd you break up? 258 00:11:16,792 --> 00:11:19,041 You know, we were in different places and I just-- 259 00:11:19,125 --> 00:11:22,375 Carrie, we don't have time for diplomacy, just tell me. 260 00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:24,250 He's a sex maniac. 261 00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:33,458 When Charlotte discovered that Kevin had tucked his libido away 262 00:11:33,542 --> 00:11:34,959 for her comfort level, 263 00:11:35,041 --> 00:11:37,458 she was even more moved by his restraint. 264 00:11:38,250 --> 00:11:41,041 I want you to know how much I appreciate your patience. 265 00:11:41,250 --> 00:11:42,291 Hmm? 266 00:11:42,375 --> 00:11:44,250 Well, you've been so patient with me. 267 00:11:44,458 --> 00:11:46,583 It shows how much you really care. 268 00:11:47,166 --> 00:11:48,500 And all that waiting 269 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,959 is gonna make it all the more special for us now. 270 00:11:52,458 --> 00:11:53,500 Oh. 271 00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,959 There's only gonna be one stop. Thanks. 272 00:12:05,917 --> 00:12:07,458 [moaning] 273 00:12:14,709 --> 00:12:15,792 [sighs] 274 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,250 I don't think this is gonna work. 275 00:12:18,792 --> 00:12:19,834 Why? Is it me? 276 00:12:19,917 --> 00:12:21,166 No, you're great. 277 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:23,458 I'm just not that sexual a guy. 278 00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:27,458 It's me. I know it's me. 279 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,542 Look, Carrie told me that you were quite sexual. 280 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:35,291 In fact, I believe she used the word "maniac." 281 00:12:35,375 --> 00:12:36,709 That was before. 282 00:12:38,542 --> 00:12:39,625 Before what? 283 00:12:39,709 --> 00:12:40,625 Prozac. 284 00:12:40,709 --> 00:12:41,750 Prozac? 285 00:12:41,834 --> 00:12:44,083 Yeah. I used to be such a mess. 286 00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:45,333 Mr. Mood Swing. 287 00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:47,250 It's a total lifesaver. 288 00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:50,250 The only downside is is it takes the air out of my tires. 289 00:12:50,333 --> 00:12:53,625 After a while, it's kind of like a taffy pull. 290 00:12:53,709 --> 00:12:54,667 [laughs] 291 00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,166 That's okay. 292 00:12:56,792 --> 00:12:57,834 Don't worry about it. 293 00:12:58,583 --> 00:12:59,667 I don't. 294 00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:00,959 I mean, I wish I could say I felt worse. 295 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:02,500 But to tell you the truth, 296 00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:05,208 these days, nothing gets me down. 297 00:13:05,667 --> 00:13:07,000 Do you want to watch a movie? 298 00:13:11,709 --> 00:13:13,667 [Carrie] Terrified of going to Mr. Big's 299 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:16,291 for what could become another platonic sleepover, 300 00:13:16,375 --> 00:13:20,250 I paced my apartment and tried not to think about our lack of sex when... 301 00:13:22,208 --> 00:13:24,291 there they were, my new neighbors, 302 00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:26,750 Mr. and Mrs. Get It On. 303 00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:28,542 A couple so obviously into each other 304 00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:30,542 there was only one thing to do, 305 00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:32,375 watch. 306 00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:38,750 Then something wonderful happened. 307 00:13:38,834 --> 00:13:41,166 My desire overcame my fear. 308 00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:42,875 Hi, it's me. Um... 309 00:13:42,959 --> 00:13:44,834 is it okay if I come over? 310 00:13:45,375 --> 00:13:47,291 Okay. 311 00:13:47,375 --> 00:13:49,959 Meanwhile, across town at the corner of "Nirvana and West Third," 312 00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:53,625 Siddhartha was helping Samantha along her newfound path. 313 00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,458 Blocks are a connection to our inner life 314 00:13:56,709 --> 00:13:58,250 and true identities. 315 00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:00,375 You're hard. 316 00:14:00,458 --> 00:14:01,583 I know. 317 00:14:01,834 --> 00:14:03,667 Our addictions and attachments 318 00:14:03,750 --> 00:14:06,125 are a way to block our spiritual hunger 319 00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:09,000 through unhealthy and dependent ways. 320 00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,417 You're still hard. 321 00:14:10,500 --> 00:14:11,667 It will go down. 322 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:13,083 So can I. 323 00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:19,875 [whimpers] 324 00:14:21,917 --> 00:14:25,417 [Carrie] I showed up at his apartment feeling sexy and confident, 325 00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:28,625 wearing my secret weapon skirt that really hugged my hips. 326 00:14:28,709 --> 00:14:29,667 I was ret to go. 327 00:14:29,750 --> 00:14:31,125 He didn't have a prayer. 328 00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:36,583 Very nice. 329 00:14:36,834 --> 00:14:38,458 Come on in. I'm watching the fight. 330 00:14:38,542 --> 00:14:42,125 [television plays] 331 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,959 Baby. You... 332 00:14:56,291 --> 00:14:59,041 Carrie. Come on, come on. 333 00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:00,333 Let me watch this. 334 00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:05,959 Oh, man! 335 00:15:09,625 --> 00:15:11,208 Jesus, Carrie, come on! 336 00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:12,333 Would you knock it the fuck off. 337 00:15:12,417 --> 00:15:14,041 I'm trying to watch this fight. 338 00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:15,625 -Just-- -Fine, I'll leave. 339 00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,375 What-- What is wrong with you? 340 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,959 -Why are you acting so nuts? -Well, maybe I'm not perfect. 341 00:15:20,041 --> 00:15:22,834 Maybe I don't fit into your perfect, you know, life, 342 00:15:22,917 --> 00:15:25,750 with your perfect apartment, and your perfect pay-per-view fight. 343 00:15:25,834 --> 00:15:27,333 Maybe I should leave. 344 00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:32,250 I stood there and waited for the obligatory, 345 00:15:32,333 --> 00:15:34,625 he's coming to stop me ten seconds. 346 00:15:35,166 --> 00:15:36,625 He didn't. 347 00:15:36,709 --> 00:15:38,417 By the time I got home 348 00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,208 I was sure he'd left an apology on my voicemail. 349 00:15:40,291 --> 00:15:43,583 [beeping, recording] You have no new messages in your mailbox. 350 00:15:43,667 --> 00:15:46,333 [Carrie] I didn't sleep very well that night. 351 00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:48,625 But I wasn't the only one. 352 00:15:48,709 --> 00:15:52,083 After a night of spiritual reading with her hunky guru, 353 00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,750 Samantha began to feel things 354 00:15:53,834 --> 00:15:56,250 she hadn't felt in a very long time, 355 00:15:56,333 --> 00:15:57,917 frustrated and horny. 356 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,542 She decided it was time to put an end to her suffering. 357 00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:01,959 But just as she reached the place 358 00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:04,417 Krishna once called "the gateway to life," 359 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:07,458 she turned back and decided not to enter. 360 00:16:07,542 --> 00:16:09,375 After all, she'd come this far. 361 00:16:09,458 --> 00:16:10,959 She could continue not to cum at all. 362 00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:12,542 [whimpers] 363 00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:15,291 In an effort to get her mind off sex, 364 00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:18,291 Miranda had rented a five-hour Danish documentary 365 00:16:18,375 --> 00:16:20,083 on the Nuremberg trial. 366 00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:21,333 It actually worked until... 367 00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:22,625 Hey, gorgeous. 368 00:16:22,709 --> 00:16:25,125 Why don't you quick drop this, huh? 369 00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:27,500 Hey, she's thinking about it. 370 00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:29,792 Where you going so fast? 371 00:16:29,875 --> 00:16:31,208 I got what you want. 372 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:33,041 I got what you need! 373 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,375 [Carrie] Like every woman 374 00:16:34,458 --> 00:16:36,458 consumed with a relationship problem, 375 00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:39,291 I needed a project to keep my mind from obsessing 376 00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:41,291 and my hands from dialing his number. 377 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,792 [door buzzes] 378 00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:48,125 Three months and one week. 379 00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,917 [Carrie] Miranda needed to keep her hands busy as well. 380 00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:52,458 Did he call? 381 00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:53,750 Nope. 382 00:16:54,125 --> 00:16:55,917 And it's been two days. 383 00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,291 Nice color. 384 00:16:58,875 --> 00:16:59,959 Ecru? 385 00:17:00,041 --> 00:17:01,375 [Carrie] Egg Shell . 386 00:17:02,959 --> 00:17:05,959 Well, I think it's over. 387 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:08,500 I should never have farted. 388 00:17:08,583 --> 00:17:10,083 Jesus, Carrie. That's it. 389 00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:11,333 I've heard enough about the fart. 390 00:17:11,417 --> 00:17:12,500 It's not the fucking fart! 391 00:17:12,583 --> 00:17:14,583 I know it's not the fucking fart. 392 00:17:15,375 --> 00:17:17,000 I just, I think I'm in love with him 393 00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:19,125 and I'm terrified that he's gonna leave me 394 00:17:19,208 --> 00:17:20,750 because I'm not perfect. 395 00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,583 [Miranda] All right. 396 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:24,208 Let's just put the roller down 397 00:17:24,291 --> 00:17:26,709 and go in the other room and talk, huh? 398 00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:29,959 The sex has stopped. He hasn't called. 399 00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:33,208 What if he never calls, and three weeks from now I pick up The New York Times, 400 00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:36,000 and I read that he's married some perfect little woman 401 00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:39,041 who never passes gas under his $500 sheets. 402 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:40,917 When did you get so obsessed with being perfect? 403 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,500 I don't know. It's something about him. 404 00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:43,750 I mean, you should see me around him. 405 00:17:43,834 --> 00:17:44,875 I'm not like me. 406 00:17:44,959 --> 00:17:47,458 I'm like "together Carrie." 407 00:17:47,542 --> 00:17:49,166 You know, I wear little outfits. 408 00:17:49,250 --> 00:17:51,875 You know, "sexy Carrie" and "casual Carrie." 409 00:17:51,959 --> 00:17:54,333 Sometimes I catch myself actually posing. 410 00:17:54,417 --> 00:17:55,709 It's just, it's exhausting. 411 00:17:55,792 --> 00:17:56,959 Well, then stop! 412 00:17:57,458 --> 00:17:59,834 Why don't you show him more of this Carrie? She's pretty great. 413 00:17:59,917 --> 00:18:01,458 Yeah? What if he doesn't like her? 414 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,291 Miranda? 415 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:06,333 Oh, my God! 416 00:18:07,542 --> 00:18:08,917 Look at them. 417 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,291 Oh, wow. 418 00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:12,667 I had no idea they did an afternoon show. 419 00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,041 When a show is good, 420 00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:15,375 word gets around. 421 00:18:15,458 --> 00:18:16,542 There we were, 422 00:18:16,625 --> 00:18:19,250 the '90s' version of Matinee Ladies. 423 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:20,667 Who said the theater was dead? 424 00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:21,917 Samantha, I cannot believe 425 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,417 that you would give this up on purpose. 426 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:25,291 [Samantha] Actually, I hardly miss it. 427 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:26,583 [Miranda] How long has it been? 428 00:18:26,667 --> 00:18:28,041 A hundred years. 429 00:18:28,125 --> 00:18:29,583 It never goes down, does it? 430 00:18:29,667 --> 00:18:31,375 Look, it's still... 431 00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,375 -Hard. -Yeah. 432 00:18:33,458 --> 00:18:35,125 Gummy bear, please. 433 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,583 Give me the fucking candy. 434 00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:41,000 Hey, snapping over gummy bears 435 00:18:41,083 --> 00:18:43,000 might be a sign that celibacy's not for you. 436 00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:45,250 All I can say is that my big pay off better be worth it. 437 00:18:45,333 --> 00:18:46,917 Samantha, I don't understand you. 438 00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:49,959 There are people starving out there and you're fasting. 439 00:18:50,041 --> 00:18:52,291 Stop complaining. At least you can take care of yourself. 440 00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:54,000 I'm way beyond that point. 441 00:18:54,083 --> 00:18:56,750 Besides, I think I've given myself carpal tunnel. 442 00:18:56,834 --> 00:18:58,875 Oh, sure. It's all fun until you get to know each other. 443 00:19:01,417 --> 00:19:03,834 Yeah, that move right there? That's what they're famous for. 444 00:19:04,375 --> 00:19:05,875 It's been an hour. 445 00:19:05,959 --> 00:19:07,792 How can that guy still be... 446 00:19:07,875 --> 00:19:09,166 [all] Hard. 447 00:19:09,250 --> 00:19:11,959 [Charlotte] I have got to try this again with Kevin. 448 00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:13,375 I mean, we really like each other. 449 00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:15,750 That's got to be stronger than a drug, right? 450 00:19:16,333 --> 00:19:17,542 I'm warning you ladies, 451 00:19:17,709 --> 00:19:21,542 if I make it to four months, I'm humping one of you. 452 00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:25,500 Oh, my God. 453 00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:27,458 I hate them. 454 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,000 [Carrie] After the second show, 455 00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:31,375 each of us went on with our Saturdays. 456 00:19:31,458 --> 00:19:34,375 Miranda went to get a movie and another pound of gummy bears. 457 00:19:34,458 --> 00:19:36,583 [Eddie] Hey, hey! It's my sweetheart. 458 00:19:36,917 --> 00:19:38,166 You're looking good, baby. 459 00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:39,417 Good enough to eat. 460 00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:41,000 Hey, where you going, doll? 461 00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:42,458 I got what you want. 462 00:19:42,709 --> 00:19:44,041 I got what you need. 463 00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:45,000 You talking to me? 464 00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,250 Oh, we got a live one boys. 465 00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:48,959 You got what I want? 466 00:19:49,417 --> 00:19:50,458 -You got what I need? -Uh-huh. 467 00:19:50,542 --> 00:19:52,250 Well, what I want is to get laid. 468 00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:53,917 What I need is to get laid. 469 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,542 I need to get laid. 470 00:19:55,625 --> 00:19:57,417 Take it easy, lady. I'm married. 471 00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,959 All talk and no action, huh? 472 00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:01,458 What a gavone! 473 00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:04,709 Yeah, she's something else when she's teed off. 474 00:20:04,792 --> 00:20:07,917 [Carrie] Samantha decided to channel her frustration at yoga. 475 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:12,667 Good, now release and breathe. 476 00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:15,291 Unless you're planning to move those hands down, 477 00:20:15,375 --> 00:20:16,875 get them off me. 478 00:20:16,959 --> 00:20:20,041 Exhale, chaturanga dandasana... 479 00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:24,291 [Carrie] She had reached the end of her path and her patience. 480 00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:25,834 Psst. 481 00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,625 [mouths] Want to fuck? 482 00:20:34,458 --> 00:20:36,208 [whispers] Want to fuck? 483 00:20:36,291 --> 00:20:37,959 [mouths] What? 484 00:20:39,291 --> 00:20:40,625 Want to fuck? 485 00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:42,458 Yeah. 486 00:20:46,792 --> 00:20:49,125 [Carrie] Samantha spent the rest of the afternoon 487 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:52,250 having multiple yogasms. 488 00:20:52,333 --> 00:20:54,917 Later that night, Charlotte was determined to prove 489 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,000 she was stronger than selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors. 490 00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,000 Isn't your arm getting tired? 491 00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:03,417 No, I think it's starting to work. 492 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,500 Charlotte... it's not. 493 00:21:06,875 --> 00:21:08,667 and I'm beginning to chafe. 494 00:21:09,166 --> 00:21:10,166 Oh. 495 00:21:12,542 --> 00:21:13,625 [sighs] 496 00:21:17,792 --> 00:21:20,000 -You okay? -Yeah. 497 00:21:20,083 --> 00:21:23,333 I've just never been in this situation before. 498 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:25,875 Do you think you'll ever... 499 00:21:28,125 --> 00:21:29,000 Never mind. 500 00:21:29,083 --> 00:21:31,041 What, think I'll ever go off it? 501 00:21:31,125 --> 00:21:31,959 Yeah. 502 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,041 Nope. 503 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,875 Not even for me? 504 00:21:35,959 --> 00:21:36,875 Nope. 505 00:21:37,792 --> 00:21:41,291 Oh, come on. Wouldn't you rather be with a guy who's kind and giving 506 00:21:41,375 --> 00:21:43,291 and not that interested in sex, 507 00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:45,291 than an unstable, oversexed, prick, 508 00:21:45,375 --> 00:21:47,000 who only wants to get laid? 509 00:21:51,625 --> 00:21:52,875 Nope. 510 00:21:52,959 --> 00:21:54,792 [Carrie] Once Charlotte realized she couldn't get 511 00:21:54,875 --> 00:21:56,250 what she thought she didn't want, 512 00:21:56,333 --> 00:21:58,750 she couldn't imagine going on without it. 513 00:22:00,291 --> 00:22:03,875 Saturday night's dinner came and went with no call from Big. 514 00:22:03,959 --> 00:22:05,750 My life was suddenly shit, 515 00:22:05,834 --> 00:22:07,625 but my cabinets were looking fabulous. 516 00:22:07,709 --> 00:22:09,709 [door buzzes] 517 00:22:10,542 --> 00:22:11,750 Who is it? 518 00:22:11,834 --> 00:22:12,875 [Mr. Big] Me. 519 00:22:13,917 --> 00:22:15,208 [buzzes] 520 00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:20,041 Surprise. 521 00:22:20,625 --> 00:22:21,750 Yeah. 522 00:22:26,625 --> 00:22:27,875 Wow. 523 00:22:31,667 --> 00:22:32,917 What's all this? 524 00:22:33,667 --> 00:22:34,667 I'm painting. 525 00:22:34,750 --> 00:22:35,959 I can see that. 526 00:22:37,083 --> 00:22:41,583 Why didn't you call? 527 00:22:45,959 --> 00:22:48,041 So this is where you live. 528 00:22:51,041 --> 00:22:53,083 About time you invited me up. 529 00:22:53,375 --> 00:22:54,750 I didn't invite you. 530 00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:56,583 I know. 531 00:23:04,917 --> 00:23:06,083 It's nice. 532 00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:07,792 Very nice. 533 00:23:07,875 --> 00:23:09,417 No, it's not. It's a mess. 534 00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:13,291 The floors need to be stripped and the curtains are... 535 00:23:13,667 --> 00:23:14,667 It's... 536 00:23:15,041 --> 00:23:16,792 I want to change a lot of it. 537 00:23:18,291 --> 00:23:19,583 I don't know. 538 00:23:21,542 --> 00:23:22,500 I like it. 539 00:23:29,291 --> 00:23:30,834 I like it the way it is. 540 00:23:32,709 --> 00:23:34,667 What was that all about the other night? 541 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:36,750 That was me. 542 00:23:37,917 --> 00:23:39,166 Having a meltdown. 543 00:23:39,458 --> 00:23:40,834 Okay. 544 00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:50,125 Nice paint. 545 00:23:51,417 --> 00:23:52,542 Egg Shell? 546 00:23:52,834 --> 00:23:53,709 Yes. 547 00:23:53,792 --> 00:23:55,000 Mm-hmm. 548 00:24:00,583 --> 00:24:01,917 Did you know that there's a couple 549 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,834 humping outside of your window? 550 00:24:04,917 --> 00:24:06,041 Really? 551 00:24:06,333 --> 00:24:07,875 Oh, I never noticed. 552 00:24:08,542 --> 00:24:10,208 All I could think was... 553 00:24:10,291 --> 00:24:12,250 "Why aren't we having sex?" 554 00:24:12,333 --> 00:24:13,667 "Is this normal?" 555 00:24:14,208 --> 00:24:15,208 "What's wrong?" 556 00:24:15,291 --> 00:24:16,291 "Where are we going?" 557 00:24:16,375 --> 00:24:17,875 Oh, hell... 558 00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:21,375 we can do better than that. 559 00:24:25,834 --> 00:24:28,208 [Carrie] And then he kissed me. 560 00:24:29,917 --> 00:24:34,417 Odd how normal can sometimes feel so uncomfortable.