[Carrie] There are over seven million people in New York.
And that's not including houseguests.
Visitors are a vital part of the city's economy.
Most single people in Manhattan do not buy furniture or hang pictures
until faced with the arrival of an out-of-towner.
Hey, that's a great couch. Where'd it come from?
I have no idea.
[Carrie] Everything in Miranda's new apartment was hand-picked,
covered, finished and arranged
by Charlotte's friend, Madeline Dunn,
an up-and-coming interior designer.
I've been looking for one of those.
That's very stylish for a pull-out.
I'll have that end table for you tomorrow.
Bye.
-Thank you. -[man] You're welcome.
This is a sofa bed?
Yeah.
That's what started this whole thing.
I needed a sofa bed for Jeremy,
and now if he actually sleeps on it
while staying in my fabulous apartment,
I may have to throw myself out a window treatment.
[Carrie] Jeremy was an old friend of Miranda's
who'd been in London for several years
writing for The Economist .
He was coming to New York to scope out the job situation.
And Miranda suggested he be her houseguest,
because his e-mails, always entertaining,
had started to border on flirtatious.
Meanwhile, I had become a frequent houseguest of Big's.
Damn. Hey...
do you have a spare toothbrush I could use?
A spare toothbrush?
Well, I'll bring you a new one.
Excuse me.
[humming playfully]
[Carrie] There's only one pink brush head
and Big was giving his to me.
It was the single most encouraging moment
so far in our relationship.
The next night when Jeremy arrived,
he was even more adorable than Miranda remembered.
I love your flat.
Thanks.
So how the hell are ya?
[Carrie] Especially when he said...
I'm tired of dating, I'm ready to get married.
[knocking]
[Madeline] Miranda, are you here?
Um... Coming!
That must be my end table.
See, my end table is afraid to go out alone.
[laughs]
I hope you like the finish.
It's a hair darker than I was thinking.
Oh, hi, sorry to interrupt.
That's beautiful, is it Biedermeier?
Inspired by Biedermeier, good eye.
I'm addicted to Architectural Digest. Jeremy Fields.
-Oh, I'm sorry. This is-- -Madeline.
Madeline Dunn.
Pleasure.
Well, thanks for bringing that by.
We were just about to go out and get some dinner so...
Yes, did you want to join us?
Last week I was doing an interview at a restaurant in Kensington...
[Carrie] Miranda suddenly found herself in the situation every woman dreams of:
she was on a truly great first date.
"Just be careful not to eat any buckshot!"
[laughing]
[Carrie] Unfortunately, it was somebody else's.
I should get Jeremy home. You must be jet-lagged.
Actually, I feel great.
I slept on the plane for once.
Well, I'm pretty beat.
Did you want to go?
No, not if you're--
Go ahead, I can find my way back.
Right, of course. We don't have to...
Except I forgot to make a copy of the key.
Um, Jeremy could use my key.
Of course.
I gave you a key.
Well, then...
Goodnight. I...
Yeah.
So, I was at that same restaurant...
[Carrie] A week later, Miranda threw Jeremy a going away party.
[jazz music playing]
[glass clinking]
I'd like to make a toast to my good friend, Miranda,
who not only put me up, she threw this soirée
in celebration of my departure.
Okay, Miranda, I get the hint.
[all laughing]
Uh... I'd especially like to thank her
for introducing me to Madeline,
an incredible, beautiful woman
who must be drunk off her ass,
because she just agreed to marry me.
-[screaming] -Oh, my God!
[Carrie] Apparently the only thing going away was Miranda's dream.
Congratulations.
Ice.
We should get more ice.
Everyone says as soon as you get a place of your own, someone will propose.
I thought it would be to me.
Well, at the very least, the woman owes you a mortgage payment.
How is this even possible? These people just met.
It's love at first sight.
[Samantha] Oh, honey, this isn't love.
This is about two people justifying
a week of nonstop fucking.
On my furniture, I have to redecorate.
Well, I think this is encouraging.
This means that even if you're not dating anybody,
you could be engaged in a couple weeks.
Or you could be dating someone for a year
and be thrilled to get an electric toothbrush head.
I don't understand why women are so obsessed about getting married.
I mean, married people just want to be single again.
If you're single, the world is your smorgasbord.
Excuse me,
can you tell me if this is where Jeremy Fields' engagement party is?
It's the red awning, and it's a going away party.
I can take you there if you'd like.
Were you going to the party?
[Samantha] Well, I was actually leaving the party
because there were no handsome men there.
But maybe the tide is turning.
[all laughing]
Oh, I get it.
My apartment is gonna be lucky for everybody but me.
What apartment isn't lucky for Samantha?
-This is all your fault. -What?
You introduced me to Madeline.
I could have hired a nice gay decorator
and none of this would've happened.
But then Madeline and Jeremy might never have met.
Yes, and Jeremy would've fallen in love with me.
It's not like musical chairs.
Why not me? What am I doing wrong? Am I invisible?
Can I help you?
I live here!
[Carrie] That night, I needed a little reality check.
[phone ringing]
Hello.
Hey, I was just at this party,
and two people who met a week ago announced their engagement.
And?
Well, I don't know, isn't that a bit shocking?
Well, this is New York, nothing is shocking.
We've embraced public urination.
Yeah.
But these people think they're soul mates.
Did they actually use the term "soul mates?"
Yeah, several times.
Then I give them three months.
What are you wearing?
Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe in lust at first sight.
-I'm serious. -So am I.
C'mon, I need a visual.
I don't know, a top, strapless.
-It's denim. -Ooh.
Hey, were you asleep when I called?
Yes.
-Sorry. -It's okay.
But next time be at the door...
naked.
[Carrie] I started to wonder.
In a city as cynical as New York,
is it still possible to believe in love at first sight?
I'd completely given up on the idea.
But now I know the people who don't believe in love at first sight
are the people who haven't experienced it.
Love at first sight is for Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman.
It's too flaky for New York.
Here, women want to see a blood test and an ATM receipt
before they give you their number.
How can you believe in love at first sight
in a city where people jerk off on you in the subway?
I'm thinking a harpist for the ceremony.
[Carrie] A bride, four weeks from her wedding, doesn't have time to meet you for coffee.
So I joined Madeline for a mind-boggling hour
in the presence of absolute certainty.
Like a gorgeous Hampton's wedding, flowers, flowers, flowers everywhere.
I'd like each bridesmaid to carry a different flower.
So, tulips, irises, lilies, gerbera daisies.
Charlotte should have the tulips.
Did she mention she's one of my bridesmaids?
Oh, of course, she's thrilled.
I've already asked Miranda to do the guest books since she introduced us.
And...
You know, Carrie, I'm such a fan of your column.
-Oh... -Is there any way you would consider
writing something to read at our wedding?
[Charlotte] What does she want you to write?
[Carrie] A poem about love.
[Samantha] Dear God, I hope you said no.
How do you say no to somebody who wants you to be involved in her wedding?
If I could answer that, I wouldn't be in charge of the guest book.
Oh... Why did I agree to this?
I write about sex, not love. What do I know about love?
I might have to get married now.
What?
That guy I picked up at Miranda's...
If you're engaged, I am selling the apartment.
Hardly.
That night, we went back to my place...
[loud moaning]
Tug my hair, tug my hair, tug my hair!
[Carrie] It all seemed so familiar.
She was having a "déjà fuck."
What's wrong?
I've slept with you before.
Yeah, yeah, like 15 years ago.
Well, why the hell didn't you say something?
I just thought you were playing the sexy stranger game.
So, it was kind of a reunion.
[Charlotte] I don't understand. How could you forget someone you slept with?
Toto, I don't think we're in single digits anymore.
Okay, but it's not like you shared a cab with this guy.
I mean, you slept with him.
Maybe we did it in a cab.
I'd like to forget some of the men I've slept with.
I keep a list.
How sweet, "Men To Do Today."
So, I'm officially out of men to fuck.
I have to get married or move.
That's lovely. Can I use that in my poem?
It's yours.
Wait till you guys see my bridesmaid's dress.
Is it hideous?
No, we got to pick our own.
It's this amazing backless black satin.
Mmm, pretty sexy for a bridesmaid.
Well, all Madeline said was that it had to be black.
Honey, calm down.
No!
I've been tasteful and appropriate
at seven other weddings.
I'm always, "Charlotte, don't look at me, look at the bride."
This time, people are gonna look at me!
[Carrie] For some reason, This whirlwind wedding
was creating a great deal of stress for everyone
but the bride and groom.
The next night, I made the mistake of telling Big about the poem.
"Love, glove, dove."
"Dove" is good.
Love is like a dove
or a big fuzzy glove.
Don't use that, I might've stolen it from a greeting card.
Okay, thanks.
What? This is fun.
It's not supposed to be fun, this is somebody's wedding.
A wedding is serious to some people.
Then "shove" probably won't work.
When is this wedding?
It doesn't matter, you're not going.
Oh, yes, I am.
I wouldn't miss you reciting "love, glove, dove"
in front of all of New York for anything.
Oh, please.
[Carrie] Things with Big were good.
He was actually going with me to a wedding.
Can I just say... Wow.
Hey.
I need a few minutes.
Oh, I left the card here for you to sign.
I don't need to sign it, they're your friends.
They're not my friends and your name's on the invitation too.
-Really? -Yes.
It was my first time to get something
other than Carrie Bradshaw and guest.
How'd they get my name?
Umm, I don't know,
I guess Madeline must've asked Charlotte or something.
Whatever. If you don't want to sign the card it's not a big deal.
[playing classical music]
[Miranda] Would you like to sign the guest book?
Would you like to sign the guest book?
Hi, would you like to sign the guest book?
At least we get to see who's arriving alone.
[Carrie] Samantha could always be counted on to take life's lemons
and make them into Spanish fly.
Do you know where they want the gifts?
Excuse me, I'm not the gift person.
That's some other b-list friend.
Oh, Christ! My rerun's here.
Of course he's here, you met him at the engagement party.
I have to start writing things down.
I also have to start drinking heavily.
Where's Big?
Inside, looking bored.
Hey, that's my look.
Should I be bothered by the fact that he wouldn't sign the card?
Well, I'm certainly glad I didn't ask him to sign the guest book.
-Oh, yeah, that would've put him over the edge. -Ooh!
[Carrie] Charlotte wasn't kidding about the dress.
It was hard not to notice her.
-[Miranda] Look at you! -[Carrie] Oh, my God!
-You look amazing. You are... -Spin...
-Holy moly. -Oh, my gosh, I am so late.
Hi, are you with the bride or the groom?
Actually, I'm a bridesmaid.
-Oh, are you Charlotte? -Yes.
Hi, I'm Martin Healy. I'll be walking you down the aisle.
[Carrie] All her life, Charlotte had imagined doing exactly that
with someone exactly like Martin.
I'll show you where you're supposed to be.
Okay.
Hello, are you seeing this?
I've been here half an hour, that guy never even looked at me.
[Carrie] While Miranda was feeling invisible,
I was feeling far too visible.
I'm in the program? I barely know the bride and groom.
They barely know each other.
Hey, look, I'm right between the vows and the fish course.
Am I in there? No, of course not.
Well, I better find Big.
I'm coming with you.
Can you leave the guest book unattended?
It's a bullshit job, Carrie.
People know what to do with the guest book.
[Carrie] The ceremony was short and sweet, just like the engagement.
[bandleader] And now, please welcome our newlyweds...
Mr. Jeremy Fields
and Mrs. Madeline Dunn-Fields.
["Wedding March" playing]
Woo!
[Miranda] It's amazing.
It took her six months to find me an end table,
but she can plan a wedding at the Plaza in four weeks.
Five bucks says that your end table
will last longer than her marriage.
-Hip, hip... -[all] Hooray!
People have said a lot of nice things about Jeremy
and I am here to make a rebuttal.
[laughing]
Seriously, I have known Jeremy a long time.
Which is more than the bride could say.
-Shh! -[Martin] I'm very happy for you both.
I only hope that someday I can have what you two have,
8,000 little napkins with my name on them.
[laughing]
And, you know, of course, someone to love.
-[all] Aw... -Cheers.
[applause]
Thank you.
And now we have a very special treat.
One of my favorite writers, Carrie Bradshaw,
has agreed to share a poem that she wrote for the occasion.
Shit.
[Carrie] As I made my way to the microphone,
I could only think one thing...
Dead woman walking.
[clearing throat]
"His hello was the end of her endings.
Her laugh was their first step down the aisle.
His hand would be hers to hold forever.
-His forever was as simple as her smile." -[phone ringing]
-[woman] Oh, come on! -[phone ringing]
[Carrie] And suddenly it hit me.
Two people were committing to a life together
and I couldn't even get a guy to be on a card with me.
"He said she was what was missing.
She said instantly she knew.
She was a question to be answered...
And...
His answer was 'I do.'"
-[applause] -[Carrie] I had no choice but to embrace the moment
and try to pass off my tears
as tears of joy for the happy couple.
[playing jazz music]
Charlotte, can I have the salad dressing?
I want three or four kids too.
Okay, okay, well, where do you stand on dog vs. cat?
You know, I think that this should be our song.
Then we should dance to it.
Okay.
What, are they on the Evelyn Wood plan too?
Sorry.
I had to take a call.
Did I miss anything?
Well, you missed my poem and most of the reception.
But there's nothing like a slow dance
to make you forgive and forget.
Uh, maybe later, I hate to dance while people are eating.
Alrighty.
Well, I'll be at the bar where people are drinking.
Say hello to my date.
I think I know you from somewhere.
It's very possible we fucked.
No, I think I know you from college.
Then we probably fucked in college.
Another Cosmopolitan please.
And a scotch, straight up.
Oh, it's the famous poet, Carrie Bradshaw.
Can we not talk about the poem, please?
Honey, come on, it was perfect.
Except the crying, what was that about?
Big took a call during my poem.
It's not important to him.
Nothing is important to him.
-[groans] -[Miranda] Guess what?
The guest book person is also
the "put the gifts in the van" person.
Does anybody want to help me,
or should I just go stand out in the street and wait for somebody else
not to see me so I can end it?
[Carrie] I'll help you.
What street do you want to stand in?
Mmm!
If they get married in less than a month, I'm not going.
Ooh, careful, that one's from me.
Well, what are you giving them?
The dancing frogs.
[laughing]
[Carrie] Even while on the verge of breaking
the land speed record for relationships,
Charlotte took her duties as bridesmaid very seriously.
-Wow! -[Charlotte sighs]
[Charlotte] Isn't it beautiful?
So how do we do this exactly?
Oh, we just throw some silly string around
and write something funny on the mirror in lipstick.
And then some people throw condoms on the bed,
but I personally prefer rose petals.
Oh, yeah.
I would love to wake up in rose petals.
[giggles]
[Carrie] It was all so romantic.
The bed, the rose petals,
the bed...
Oh!
[Carrie] Technically, it wasn't a third date,
but they'd already had dinner... and been dancing.
Twenty minutes later, Charlotte worried she'd made a rookie mistake
by sleeping with a man she thought she could marry.
But then something wonderful happened.
Charlotte, I want to introduce you to my parents.
[Carrie] Meeting the parents.
Charlotte was back on schedule.
Did you see us?
We've been dancing up a storm.
Uh... Yeah.
Would you like a free lesson?
Oh, my dad considers himself quite the dancer.
Oh, that would be great.
Good.
Well, is she the one?
-You're a beautiful dancer. -Oh, thank you.
Oh!
May I cut in?
If you must.
Isn't he something?
And he's very smart.
He's pretty much my role model.
He used to take me to his office when I was a little kid.
Your father just felt me up.
What?
We were dancing and he just put his hand--
All right, look, my parents have been married for 50 years.
My dad would not cop a feel
just because some girl is wearing a slutty dress.
[Carrie] Suddenly, it was clear to Charlotte
that Martin wasn't gonna take her side now
or after three or four kids, or ever.
Did the last four and a half hours mean nothing to you?
[guests cheering]
[bandleader] The chicken dance, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, darn, we missed the chicken dance.
Excuse me.
Have you seen my date?
I'm sorry, I had to help Miranda put the gifts into the van.
So, are you ready to go?
Well, have they even cut the cake yet?
I don't know.
But I can tell you how it turns out.
If you want to go, go.
What?
What's wrong?
You wouldn't even sign the card.
[groans]
The card.
I'm afraid we don't want the same things.
Things like cake?
I want someone who's going to be with me until the end...
of a wedding.
Okay.
I'll stay.
You will?
Yes.
[bandleader] Single ladies!
It's time for the tossing of the bouquet.
Isn't the bouquet toss at the end?
Congratulations, you lucked out.
Get us some cake, I want to say goodbye to my friends.
-[Charlotte] Oh! Hey... -Hi.
Big moment.
Big and I are leaving.
He's crossed his pain threshold and he's carrying me along with him.
-Everybody ready? -[women scream]
One, two, three.
[woman screaming]
Okay, girls, see you tomorrow.
-Okay. -Okay.
-Night-night. -Okay.
-Well, let's... let's get your coats. -[Miranda] Mm-hmm.
[Carrie] Some people know they're meant to be together.
I knew I was meant to go home and have cake in bed with Big.
Maybe we're more the fuzzy glove types.