1 00:00:58,041 --> 00:01:00,791 [Carrie] There are over seven million people in New York. 2 00:01:00,875 --> 00:01:02,825 And that's not including houseguests. 3 00:01:02,917 --> 00:01:05,327 Visitors are a vital part of the city's economy. 4 00:01:05,417 --> 00:01:09,167 Most single people in Manhattan do not buy furniture or hang pictures 5 00:01:09,250 --> 00:01:12,040 until faced with the arrival of an out-of-towner. 6 00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:14,535 Hey, that's a great couch. Where'd it come from? 7 00:01:14,625 --> 00:01:16,165 I have no idea. 8 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,040 [Carrie] Everything in Miranda's new apartment was hand-picked, 9 00:01:18,125 --> 00:01:19,875 covered, finished and arranged 10 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:22,079 by Charlotte's friend, Madeline Dunn, 11 00:01:22,166 --> 00:01:24,076 an up-and-coming interior designer. 12 00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:26,076 I've been looking for one of those. 13 00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:28,326 That's very stylish for a pull-out. 14 00:01:28,834 --> 00:01:31,834 I'll have that end table for you tomorrow. 15 00:01:34,333 --> 00:01:35,333 Bye. 16 00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:38,165 -Thank you. -[man] You're welcome. 17 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,580 This is a sofa bed? 18 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:41,747 Yeah. 19 00:01:41,834 --> 00:01:43,584 That's what started this whole thing. 20 00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:45,417 I needed a sofa bed for Jeremy, 21 00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:47,130 and now if he actually sleeps on it 22 00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:49,128 while staying in my fabulous apartment, 23 00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:51,668 I may have to throw myself out a window treatment. 24 00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:53,420 [Carrie] Jeremy was an old friend of Miranda's 25 00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,380 who'd been in London for several years 26 00:01:55,458 --> 00:01:56,918 writing for The Economist . 27 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,540 He was coming to New York to scope out the job situation. 28 00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:02,035 And Miranda suggested he be her houseguest, 29 00:02:02,125 --> 00:02:04,075 because his e-mails, always entertaining, 30 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,786 had started to border on flirtatious. 31 00:02:06,875 --> 00:02:11,625 Meanwhile, I had become a frequent houseguest of Big's. 32 00:02:11,709 --> 00:02:12,829 Damn. Hey... 33 00:02:12,917 --> 00:02:15,827 do you have a spare toothbrush I could use? 34 00:02:16,959 --> 00:02:19,039 A spare toothbrush? 35 00:02:19,125 --> 00:02:21,375 Well, I'll bring you a new one. 36 00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,415 Excuse me. 37 00:02:27,333 --> 00:02:31,753 [humming playfully] 38 00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,789 [Carrie] There's only one pink brush head 39 00:02:49,875 --> 00:02:52,825 and Big was giving his to me. 40 00:02:52,917 --> 00:02:55,167 It was the single most encouraging moment 41 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,580 so far in our relationship. 42 00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:00,133 The next night when Jeremy arrived, 43 00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:02,578 he was even more adorable than Miranda remembered. 44 00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:04,377 I love your flat. 45 00:03:04,458 --> 00:03:05,578 Thanks. 46 00:03:06,125 --> 00:03:07,745 So how the hell are ya? 47 00:03:07,834 --> 00:03:09,134 [Carrie] Especially when he said... 48 00:03:09,208 --> 00:03:12,748 I'm tired of dating, I'm ready to get married. 49 00:03:13,333 --> 00:03:14,423 [knocking] 50 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,460 [Madeline] Miranda, are you here? 51 00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:18,210 Um... Coming! 52 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,133 That must be my end table. 53 00:03:21,208 --> 00:03:24,078 See, my end table is afraid to go out alone. 54 00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:25,626 [laughs] 55 00:03:25,709 --> 00:03:27,709 I hope you like the finish. 56 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,955 It's a hair darker than I was thinking. 57 00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:32,961 Oh, hi, sorry to interrupt. 58 00:03:33,041 --> 00:03:34,921 That's beautiful, is it Biedermeier? 59 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,710 Inspired by Biedermeier, good eye. 60 00:03:37,792 --> 00:03:41,382 I'm addicted to Architectural Digest. Jeremy Fields. 61 00:03:41,458 --> 00:03:43,578 -Oh, I'm sorry. This is-- -Madeline. 62 00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:45,127 Madeline Dunn. 63 00:03:45,792 --> 00:03:46,792 Pleasure. 64 00:03:48,667 --> 00:03:50,077 Well, thanks for bringing that by. 65 00:03:50,166 --> 00:03:51,876 We were just about to go out and get some dinner so... 66 00:03:51,959 --> 00:03:54,579 Yes, did you want to join us? 67 00:03:56,250 --> 00:03:59,670 Last week I was doing an interview at a restaurant in Kensington... 68 00:03:59,750 --> 00:04:03,500 [Carrie] Miranda suddenly found herself in the situation every woman dreams of: 69 00:04:03,583 --> 00:04:06,213 she was on a truly great first date. 70 00:04:06,291 --> 00:04:09,381 "Just be careful not to eat any buckshot!" 71 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,788 [laughing] 72 00:04:10,875 --> 00:04:12,785 [Carrie] Unfortunately, it was somebody else's. 73 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:17,290 I should get Jeremy home. You must be jet-lagged. 74 00:04:17,375 --> 00:04:18,825 Actually, I feel great. 75 00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:20,627 I slept on the plane for once. 76 00:04:20,709 --> 00:04:22,209 Well, I'm pretty beat. 77 00:04:22,291 --> 00:04:24,171 Did you want to go? 78 00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:26,040 No, not if you're-- 79 00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:29,415 Go ahead, I can find my way back. 80 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,130 Right, of course. We don't have to... 81 00:04:32,834 --> 00:04:35,884 Except I forgot to make a copy of the key. 82 00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:40,003 Um, Jeremy could use my key. 83 00:04:41,667 --> 00:04:42,957 Of course. 84 00:04:43,542 --> 00:04:45,502 I gave you a key. 85 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:48,830 Well, then... 86 00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:50,830 Goodnight. I... 87 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:53,423 Yeah. 88 00:04:55,208 --> 00:04:58,078 So, I was at that same restaurant... 89 00:04:58,166 --> 00:05:01,916 [Carrie] A week later, Miranda threw Jeremy a going away party. 90 00:05:02,291 --> 00:05:06,501 [jazz music playing] 91 00:05:06,959 --> 00:05:09,289 [glass clinking] 92 00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:12,245 I'd like to make a toast to my good friend, Miranda, 93 00:05:12,333 --> 00:05:14,883 who not only put me up, she threw this soirée 94 00:05:14,959 --> 00:05:17,329 in celebration of my departure. 95 00:05:17,542 --> 00:05:19,382 Okay, Miranda, I get the hint. 96 00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:20,788 [all laughing] 97 00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:22,875 Uh... I'd especially like to thank her 98 00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:25,129 for introducing me to Madeline, 99 00:05:25,208 --> 00:05:27,498 an incredible, beautiful woman 100 00:05:27,583 --> 00:05:29,173 who must be drunk off her ass, 101 00:05:29,250 --> 00:05:31,000 because she just agreed to marry me. 102 00:05:31,083 --> 00:05:33,293 -[screaming] -Oh, my God! 103 00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:36,455 [Carrie] Apparently the only thing going away was Miranda's dream. 104 00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:38,377 Congratulations. 105 00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:42,130 Ice. 106 00:05:42,208 --> 00:05:44,418 We should get more ice. 107 00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:49,503 Everyone says as soon as you get a place of your own, someone will propose. 108 00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,213 I thought it would be to me. 109 00:05:51,291 --> 00:05:53,671 Well, at the very least, the woman owes you a mortgage payment. 110 00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:56,920 How is this even possible? These people just met. 111 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,170 It's love at first sight. 112 00:05:58,250 --> 00:05:59,960 [Samantha] Oh, honey, this isn't love. 113 00:06:00,041 --> 00:06:02,041 This is about two people justifying 114 00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:03,455 a week of nonstop fucking. 115 00:06:03,542 --> 00:06:06,172 On my furniture, I have to redecorate. 116 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:07,880 Well, I think this is encouraging. 117 00:06:07,959 --> 00:06:10,669 This means that even if you're not dating anybody, 118 00:06:10,750 --> 00:06:13,000 you could be engaged in a couple weeks. 119 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:15,003 Or you could be dating someone for a year 120 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,963 and be thrilled to get an electric toothbrush head. 121 00:06:18,041 --> 00:06:21,381 I don't understand why women are so obsessed about getting married. 122 00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:23,828 I mean, married people just want to be single again. 123 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:27,127 If you're single, the world is your smorgasbord. 124 00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:28,788 Excuse me, 125 00:06:28,875 --> 00:06:31,165 can you tell me if this is where Jeremy Fields' engagement party is? 126 00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:33,710 It's the red awning, and it's a going away party. 127 00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:35,422 I can take you there if you'd like. 128 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,880 Were you going to the party? 129 00:06:36,959 --> 00:06:38,379 [Samantha] Well, I was actually leaving the party 130 00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:40,328 because there were no handsome men there. 131 00:06:40,417 --> 00:06:43,207 But maybe the tide is turning. 132 00:06:43,291 --> 00:06:44,501 [all laughing] 133 00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:49,581 Oh, I get it. 134 00:06:49,667 --> 00:06:52,707 My apartment is gonna be lucky for everybody but me. 135 00:06:52,792 --> 00:06:55,332 What apartment isn't lucky for Samantha? 136 00:06:55,417 --> 00:06:57,707 -This is all your fault. -What? 137 00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,752 You introduced me to Madeline. 138 00:06:59,834 --> 00:07:01,924 I could have hired a nice gay decorator 139 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,420 and none of this would've happened. 140 00:07:03,500 --> 00:07:05,420 But then Madeline and Jeremy might never have met. 141 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,080 Yes, and Jeremy would've fallen in love with me. 142 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:09,706 It's not like musical chairs. 143 00:07:09,792 --> 00:07:13,502 Why not me? What am I doing wrong? Am I invisible? 144 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,294 Can I help you? 145 00:07:15,375 --> 00:07:16,625 I live here! 146 00:07:21,291 --> 00:07:24,041 [Carrie] That night, I needed a little reality check. 147 00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:29,502 [phone ringing] 148 00:07:29,917 --> 00:07:30,917 Hello. 149 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,830 Hey, I was just at this party, 150 00:07:32,917 --> 00:07:36,287 and two people who met a week ago announced their engagement. 151 00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:37,670 And? 152 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:39,960 Well, I don't know, isn't that a bit shocking? 153 00:07:40,041 --> 00:07:42,211 Well, this is New York, nothing is shocking. 154 00:07:42,291 --> 00:07:44,251 We've embraced public urination. 155 00:07:44,542 --> 00:07:45,632 Yeah. 156 00:07:45,709 --> 00:07:47,629 But these people think they're soul mates. 157 00:07:47,709 --> 00:07:50,499 Did they actually use the term "soul mates?" 158 00:07:50,583 --> 00:07:51,673 Yeah, several times. 159 00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:53,250 Then I give them three months. 160 00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:54,503 What are you wearing? 161 00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:58,457 Do you believe in love at first sight? 162 00:07:58,542 --> 00:08:01,582 I believe in lust at first sight. 163 00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:03,877 -I'm serious. -So am I. 164 00:08:04,375 --> 00:08:07,035 C'mon, I need a visual. 165 00:08:07,792 --> 00:08:10,462 I don't know, a top, strapless. 166 00:08:10,542 --> 00:08:12,582 -It's denim. -Ooh. 167 00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:14,665 Hey, were you asleep when I called? 168 00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:16,248 Yes. 169 00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:18,674 -Sorry. -It's okay. 170 00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:20,880 But next time be at the door... 171 00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:22,883 naked. 172 00:08:24,375 --> 00:08:26,325 [Carrie] I started to wonder. 173 00:08:26,417 --> 00:08:28,417 In a city as cynical as New York, 174 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:31,380 is it still possible to believe in love at first sight? 175 00:08:32,166 --> 00:08:33,876 I'd completely given up on the idea. 176 00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:36,999 But now I know the people who don't believe in love at first sight 177 00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:38,923 are the people who haven't experienced it. 178 00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:42,535 Love at first sight is for Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman. 179 00:08:42,625 --> 00:08:44,205 It's too flaky for New York. 180 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:48,171 Here, women want to see a blood test and an ATM receipt 181 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:49,670 before they give you their number. 182 00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:51,459 How can you believe in love at first sight 183 00:08:51,542 --> 00:08:54,672 in a city where people jerk off on you in the subway? 184 00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:57,000 I'm thinking a harpist for the ceremony. 185 00:08:57,083 --> 00:08:59,753 [Carrie] A bride, four weeks from her wedding, doesn't have time to meet you for coffee. 186 00:08:59,834 --> 00:09:02,384 So I joined Madeline for a mind-boggling hour 187 00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:04,288 in the presence of absolute certainty. 188 00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:07,575 Like a gorgeous Hampton's wedding, flowers, flowers, flowers everywhere. 189 00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:09,627 I'd like each bridesmaid to carry a different flower. 190 00:09:09,709 --> 00:09:12,169 So, tulips, irises, lilies, gerbera daisies. 191 00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,000 Charlotte should have the tulips. 192 00:09:14,083 --> 00:09:15,583 Did she mention she's one of my bridesmaids? 193 00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:17,457 Oh, of course, she's thrilled. 194 00:09:17,542 --> 00:09:20,542 I've already asked Miranda to do the guest books since she introduced us. 195 00:09:20,625 --> 00:09:21,875 And... 196 00:09:21,959 --> 00:09:24,629 You know, Carrie, I'm such a fan of your column. 197 00:09:24,709 --> 00:09:27,079 -Oh... -Is there any way you would consider 198 00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:28,996 writing something to read at our wedding? 199 00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:32,127 [Charlotte] What does she want you to write? 200 00:09:32,208 --> 00:09:33,878 [Carrie] A poem about love. 201 00:09:33,959 --> 00:09:35,829 [Samantha] Dear God, I hope you said no. 202 00:09:35,917 --> 00:09:38,327 How do you say no to somebody who wants you to be involved in her wedding? 203 00:09:38,417 --> 00:09:41,377 If I could answer that, I wouldn't be in charge of the guest book. 204 00:09:41,458 --> 00:09:43,538 Oh... Why did I agree to this? 205 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,285 I write about sex, not love. What do I know about love? 206 00:09:46,375 --> 00:09:47,955 I might have to get married now. 207 00:09:48,041 --> 00:09:49,041 What? 208 00:09:49,125 --> 00:09:50,665 That guy I picked up at Miranda's... 209 00:09:50,750 --> 00:09:53,580 If you're engaged, I am selling the apartment. 210 00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:54,747 Hardly. 211 00:09:55,041 --> 00:09:57,581 That night, we went back to my place... 212 00:09:57,667 --> 00:09:58,787 [loud moaning] 213 00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:02,754 Tug my hair, tug my hair, tug my hair! 214 00:10:02,834 --> 00:10:05,254 [Carrie] It all seemed so familiar. 215 00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,003 She was having a "déjà fuck." 216 00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:08,213 What's wrong? 217 00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:09,961 I've slept with you before. 218 00:10:10,041 --> 00:10:11,751 Yeah, yeah, like 15 years ago. 219 00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:13,794 Well, why the hell didn't you say something? 220 00:10:13,875 --> 00:10:16,495 I just thought you were playing the sexy stranger game. 221 00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:18,749 So, it was kind of a reunion. 222 00:10:18,834 --> 00:10:21,754 [Charlotte] I don't understand. How could you forget someone you slept with? 223 00:10:21,834 --> 00:10:24,004 Toto, I don't think we're in single digits anymore. 224 00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:26,543 Okay, but it's not like you shared a cab with this guy. 225 00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:28,075 I mean, you slept with him. 226 00:10:28,166 --> 00:10:29,626 Maybe we did it in a cab. 227 00:10:29,709 --> 00:10:31,999 I'd like to forget some of the men I've slept with. 228 00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:33,293 I keep a list. 229 00:10:33,375 --> 00:10:35,075 How sweet, "Men To Do Today." 230 00:10:35,166 --> 00:10:37,126 So, I'm officially out of men to fuck. 231 00:10:37,208 --> 00:10:39,128 I have to get married or move. 232 00:10:39,208 --> 00:10:42,128 That's lovely. Can I use that in my poem? 233 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:43,418 It's yours. 234 00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:45,380 Wait till you guys see my bridesmaid's dress. 235 00:10:45,458 --> 00:10:46,458 Is it hideous? 236 00:10:46,542 --> 00:10:48,002 No, we got to pick our own. 237 00:10:48,083 --> 00:10:51,043 It's this amazing backless black satin. 238 00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:53,535 Mmm, pretty sexy for a bridesmaid. 239 00:10:53,625 --> 00:10:55,955 Well, all Madeline said was that it had to be black. 240 00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:57,881 Honey, calm down. 241 00:10:57,959 --> 00:10:58,919 No! 242 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,830 I've been tasteful and appropriate 243 00:11:00,917 --> 00:11:02,537 at seven other weddings. 244 00:11:02,625 --> 00:11:05,455 I'm always, "Charlotte, don't look at me, look at the bride." 245 00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:07,882 This time, people are gonna look at me! 246 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,080 [Carrie] For some reason, This whirlwind wedding 247 00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:12,416 was creating a great deal of stress for everyone 248 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,080 but the bride and groom. 249 00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:19,883 The next night, I made the mistake of telling Big about the poem. 250 00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:22,380 "Love, glove, dove." 251 00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:24,043 "Dove" is good. 252 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,210 Love is like a dove 253 00:11:26,291 --> 00:11:27,751 or a big fuzzy glove. 254 00:11:27,834 --> 00:11:31,174 Don't use that, I might've stolen it from a greeting card. 255 00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:32,710 Okay, thanks. 256 00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:34,832 What? This is fun. 257 00:11:34,917 --> 00:11:38,327 It's not supposed to be fun, this is somebody's wedding. 258 00:11:38,417 --> 00:11:40,247 A wedding is serious to some people. 259 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,633 Then "shove" probably won't work. 260 00:11:45,917 --> 00:11:47,827 When is this wedding? 261 00:11:47,917 --> 00:11:49,917 It doesn't matter, you're not going. 262 00:11:50,041 --> 00:11:51,501 Oh, yes, I am. 263 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,880 I wouldn't miss you reciting "love, glove, dove" 264 00:11:55,959 --> 00:11:58,129 in front of all of New York for anything. 265 00:11:59,792 --> 00:12:00,792 Oh, please. 266 00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:07,918 [Carrie] Things with Big were good. 267 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,670 He was actually going with me to a wedding. 268 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:17,630 Can I just say... Wow. 269 00:12:17,875 --> 00:12:18,955 Hey. 270 00:12:19,041 --> 00:12:20,791 I need a few minutes. 271 00:12:20,875 --> 00:12:23,625 Oh, I left the card here for you to sign. 272 00:12:24,375 --> 00:12:26,125 I don't need to sign it, they're your friends. 273 00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:29,498 They're not my friends and your name's on the invitation too. 274 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,463 -Really? -Yes. 275 00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:33,382 It was my first time to get something 276 00:12:33,458 --> 00:12:35,828 other than Carrie Bradshaw and guest. 277 00:12:35,917 --> 00:12:37,667 How'd they get my name? 278 00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:40,205 Umm, I don't know, 279 00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:43,131 I guess Madeline must've asked Charlotte or something. 280 00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:47,170 Whatever. If you don't want to sign the card it's not a big deal. 281 00:12:48,291 --> 00:12:53,001 [playing classical music] 282 00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:56,130 [Miranda] Would you like to sign the guest book? 283 00:12:57,250 --> 00:13:02,330 Would you like to sign the guest book? 284 00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:04,877 Hi, would you like to sign the guest book? 285 00:13:04,959 --> 00:13:07,579 At least we get to see who's arriving alone. 286 00:13:07,667 --> 00:13:10,577 [Carrie] Samantha could always be counted on to take life's lemons 287 00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,827 and make them into Spanish fly. 288 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,915 Do you know where they want the gifts? 289 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,380 Excuse me, I'm not the gift person. 290 00:13:17,458 --> 00:13:19,208 That's some other b-list friend. 291 00:13:19,291 --> 00:13:21,041 Oh, Christ! My rerun's here. 292 00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:23,705 Of course he's here, you met him at the engagement party. 293 00:13:23,792 --> 00:13:26,672 I have to start writing things down. 294 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:29,210 I also have to start drinking heavily. 295 00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:32,883 Where's Big? 296 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:35,080 Inside, looking bored. 297 00:13:35,166 --> 00:13:36,626 Hey, that's my look. 298 00:13:36,709 --> 00:13:39,669 Should I be bothered by the fact that he wouldn't sign the card? 299 00:13:39,750 --> 00:13:42,790 Well, I'm certainly glad I didn't ask him to sign the guest book. 300 00:13:42,875 --> 00:13:46,875 -Oh, yeah, that would've put him over the edge. -Ooh! 301 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,959 [Carrie] Charlotte wasn't kidding about the dress. 302 00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:50,711 It was hard not to notice her. 303 00:13:50,792 --> 00:13:52,542 -[Miranda] Look at you! -[Carrie] Oh, my God! 304 00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:54,665 -You look amazing. You are... -Spin... 305 00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:57,670 -Holy moly. -Oh, my gosh, I am so late. 306 00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:59,790 Hi, are you with the bride or the groom? 307 00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:01,285 Actually, I'm a bridesmaid. 308 00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:03,125 -Oh, are you Charlotte? -Yes. 309 00:14:03,208 --> 00:14:05,538 Hi, I'm Martin Healy. I'll be walking you down the aisle. 310 00:14:05,625 --> 00:14:09,245 [Carrie] All her life, Charlotte had imagined doing exactly that 311 00:14:09,333 --> 00:14:11,753 with someone exactly like Martin. 312 00:14:12,709 --> 00:14:14,629 I'll show you where you're supposed to be. 313 00:14:14,709 --> 00:14:15,959 Okay. 314 00:14:16,041 --> 00:14:17,631 Hello, are you seeing this? 315 00:14:17,709 --> 00:14:20,579 I've been here half an hour, that guy never even looked at me. 316 00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:22,827 [Carrie] While Miranda was feeling invisible, 317 00:14:22,917 --> 00:14:24,327 I was feeling far too visible. 318 00:14:24,417 --> 00:14:27,577 I'm in the program? I barely know the bride and groom. 319 00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,167 They barely know each other. 320 00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:31,460 Hey, look, I'm right between the vows and the fish course. 321 00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:35,002 Am I in there? No, of course not. 322 00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:37,133 Well, I better find Big. 323 00:14:37,208 --> 00:14:38,378 I'm coming with you. 324 00:14:38,458 --> 00:14:40,208 Can you leave the guest book unattended? 325 00:14:40,291 --> 00:14:41,831 It's a bullshit job, Carrie. 326 00:14:41,917 --> 00:14:44,247 People know what to do with the guest book. 327 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:46,793 [Carrie] The ceremony was short and sweet, just like the engagement. 328 00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:49,455 [bandleader] And now, please welcome our newlyweds... 329 00:14:49,542 --> 00:14:51,042 Mr. Jeremy Fields 330 00:14:51,125 --> 00:14:54,955 and Mrs. Madeline Dunn-Fields. 331 00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:56,960 ["Wedding March" playing] 332 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,170 Woo! 333 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,250 [Miranda] It's amazing. 334 00:15:10,333 --> 00:15:12,423 It took her six months to find me an end table, 335 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:15,040 but she can plan a wedding at the Plaza in four weeks. 336 00:15:15,375 --> 00:15:16,745 Five bucks says that your end table 337 00:15:16,834 --> 00:15:19,294 will last longer than her marriage. 338 00:15:21,583 --> 00:15:27,753 -Hip, hip... -[all] Hooray! 339 00:15:27,834 --> 00:15:31,004 People have said a lot of nice things about Jeremy 340 00:15:31,083 --> 00:15:33,583 and I am here to make a rebuttal. 341 00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:34,787 [laughing] 342 00:15:34,875 --> 00:15:37,625 Seriously, I have known Jeremy a long time. 343 00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:39,419 Which is more than the bride could say. 344 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,380 -Shh! -[Martin] I'm very happy for you both. 345 00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:45,378 I only hope that someday I can have what you two have, 346 00:15:45,458 --> 00:15:48,918 8,000 little napkins with my name on them. 347 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,130 [laughing] 348 00:15:50,208 --> 00:15:52,918 And, you know, of course, someone to love. 349 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,420 -[all] Aw... -Cheers. 350 00:15:54,500 --> 00:15:55,790 [applause] 351 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,380 Thank you. 352 00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:05,288 And now we have a very special treat. 353 00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:08,245 One of my favorite writers, Carrie Bradshaw, 354 00:16:08,333 --> 00:16:12,383 has agreed to share a poem that she wrote for the occasion. 355 00:16:14,917 --> 00:16:16,707 Shit. 356 00:16:22,583 --> 00:16:24,503 [Carrie] As I made my way to the microphone, 357 00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:26,963 I could only think one thing... 358 00:16:27,041 --> 00:16:29,331 Dead woman walking. 359 00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:37,827 [clearing throat] 360 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:45,752 "His hello was the end of her endings. 361 00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:49,754 Her laugh was their first step down the aisle. 362 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:54,540 His hand would be hers to hold forever. 363 00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:58,923 -His forever was as simple as her smile." -[phone ringing] 364 00:16:59,250 --> 00:17:01,330 -[woman] Oh, come on! -[phone ringing] 365 00:17:01,417 --> 00:17:03,327 [Carrie] And suddenly it hit me. 366 00:17:03,417 --> 00:17:05,827 Two people were committing to a life together 367 00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:08,957 and I couldn't even get a guy to be on a card with me. 368 00:17:13,417 --> 00:17:17,457 "He said she was what was missing. 369 00:17:17,542 --> 00:17:20,082 She said instantly she knew. 370 00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:24,500 She was a question to be answered... 371 00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:29,035 And... 372 00:17:29,125 --> 00:17:31,535 His answer was 'I do.'" 373 00:17:31,625 --> 00:17:34,455 -[applause] -[Carrie] I had no choice but to embrace the moment 374 00:17:34,542 --> 00:17:36,962 and try to pass off my tears 375 00:17:37,041 --> 00:17:39,791 as tears of joy for the happy couple. 376 00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:44,629 [playing jazz music] 377 00:17:48,291 --> 00:17:49,791 Charlotte, can I have the salad dressing? 378 00:17:49,875 --> 00:17:51,375 I want three or four kids too. 379 00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:54,248 Okay, okay, well, where do you stand on dog vs. cat? 380 00:17:56,959 --> 00:18:00,169 You know, I think that this should be our song. 381 00:18:00,250 --> 00:18:01,710 Then we should dance to it. 382 00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:03,422 Okay. 383 00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:07,633 What, are they on the Evelyn Wood plan too? 384 00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:09,577 Sorry. 385 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:11,327 I had to take a call. 386 00:18:11,417 --> 00:18:12,707 Did I miss anything? 387 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:16,252 Well, you missed my poem and most of the reception. 388 00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,044 But there's nothing like a slow dance 389 00:18:18,125 --> 00:18:19,825 to make you forgive and forget. 390 00:18:19,917 --> 00:18:22,497 Uh, maybe later, I hate to dance while people are eating. 391 00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:24,416 Alrighty. 392 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:26,500 Well, I'll be at the bar where people are drinking. 393 00:18:27,834 --> 00:18:29,674 Say hello to my date. 394 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:37,875 I think I know you from somewhere. 395 00:18:37,959 --> 00:18:40,169 It's very possible we fucked. 396 00:18:40,458 --> 00:18:42,578 No, I think I know you from college. 397 00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:45,537 Then we probably fucked in college. 398 00:18:48,375 --> 00:18:50,455 Another Cosmopolitan please. 399 00:18:50,542 --> 00:18:52,212 And a scotch, straight up. 400 00:18:52,291 --> 00:18:55,461 Oh, it's the famous poet, Carrie Bradshaw. 401 00:18:55,542 --> 00:18:56,922 Can we not talk about the poem, please? 402 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,040 Honey, come on, it was perfect. 403 00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:02,384 Except the crying, what was that about? 404 00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:05,213 Big took a call during my poem. 405 00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:07,287 It's not important to him. 406 00:19:07,375 --> 00:19:08,665 Nothing is important to him. 407 00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:10,250 -[groans] -[Miranda] Guess what? 408 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:11,670 The guest book person is also 409 00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,460 the "put the gifts in the van" person. 410 00:19:13,709 --> 00:19:15,459 Does anybody want to help me, 411 00:19:15,542 --> 00:19:17,462 or should I just go stand out in the street and wait for somebody else 412 00:19:17,542 --> 00:19:19,002 not to see me so I can end it? 413 00:19:19,083 --> 00:19:20,213 [Carrie] I'll help you. 414 00:19:20,291 --> 00:19:21,501 What street do you want to stand in? 415 00:19:21,583 --> 00:19:22,583 Mmm! 416 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,580 If they get married in less than a month, I'm not going. 417 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:33,170 Ooh, careful, that one's from me. 418 00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:35,130 Well, what are you giving them? 419 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:36,328 The dancing frogs. 420 00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:40,207 [laughing] 421 00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:43,670 [Carrie] Even while on the verge of breaking 422 00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,830 the land speed record for relationships, 423 00:19:45,917 --> 00:19:49,037 Charlotte took her duties as bridesmaid very seriously. 424 00:19:49,125 --> 00:19:50,825 -Wow! -[Charlotte sighs] 425 00:19:50,917 --> 00:19:51,997 [Charlotte] Isn't it beautiful? 426 00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:53,833 So how do we do this exactly? 427 00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:56,747 Oh, we just throw some silly string around 428 00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:58,584 and write something funny on the mirror in lipstick. 429 00:19:58,667 --> 00:20:00,497 And then some people throw condoms on the bed, 430 00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:02,423 but I personally prefer rose petals. 431 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,080 Oh, yeah. 432 00:20:04,166 --> 00:20:06,246 I would love to wake up in rose petals. 433 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:08,580 [giggles] 434 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,212 [Carrie] It was all so romantic. 435 00:20:12,291 --> 00:20:14,791 The bed, the rose petals, 436 00:20:14,875 --> 00:20:16,955 the bed... 437 00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:18,745 Oh! 438 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,080 [Carrie] Technically, it wasn't a third date, 439 00:20:23,166 --> 00:20:26,326 but they'd already had dinner... and been dancing. 440 00:20:28,083 --> 00:20:31,003 Twenty minutes later, Charlotte worried she'd made a rookie mistake 441 00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:34,333 by sleeping with a man she thought she could marry. 442 00:20:34,417 --> 00:20:36,497 But then something wonderful happened. 443 00:20:36,792 --> 00:20:38,882 Charlotte, I want to introduce you to my parents. 444 00:20:38,959 --> 00:20:40,079 [Carrie] Meeting the parents. 445 00:20:40,166 --> 00:20:41,706 Charlotte was back on schedule. 446 00:20:41,792 --> 00:20:42,792 Did you see us? 447 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,665 We've been dancing up a storm. 448 00:20:46,125 --> 00:20:47,745 Uh... Yeah. 449 00:20:47,834 --> 00:20:49,174 Would you like a free lesson? 450 00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:51,460 Oh, my dad considers himself quite the dancer. 451 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,462 Oh, that would be great. 452 00:20:53,542 --> 00:20:54,792 Good. 453 00:20:56,917 --> 00:20:58,707 Well, is she the one? 454 00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:02,330 -You're a beautiful dancer. -Oh, thank you. 455 00:21:09,875 --> 00:21:10,955 Oh! 456 00:21:11,208 --> 00:21:12,328 May I cut in? 457 00:21:13,166 --> 00:21:14,496 If you must. 458 00:21:17,625 --> 00:21:18,705 Isn't he something? 459 00:21:18,792 --> 00:21:20,132 And he's very smart. 460 00:21:20,208 --> 00:21:22,128 He's pretty much my role model. 461 00:21:22,208 --> 00:21:24,418 He used to take me to his office when I was a little kid. 462 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:26,130 Your father just felt me up. 463 00:21:26,542 --> 00:21:27,632 What? 464 00:21:27,709 --> 00:21:29,249 We were dancing and he just put his hand-- 465 00:21:29,333 --> 00:21:32,543 All right, look, my parents have been married for 50 years. 466 00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:33,995 My dad would not cop a feel 467 00:21:34,083 --> 00:21:37,463 just because some girl is wearing a slutty dress. 468 00:21:37,542 --> 00:21:39,292 [Carrie] Suddenly, it was clear to Charlotte 469 00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:41,785 that Martin wasn't gonna take her side now 470 00:21:41,875 --> 00:21:44,325 or after three or four kids, or ever. 471 00:21:44,417 --> 00:21:47,577 Did the last four and a half hours mean nothing to you? 472 00:21:50,834 --> 00:21:52,254 [guests cheering] 473 00:21:52,333 --> 00:21:53,753 [bandleader] The chicken dance, ladies and gentlemen. 474 00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:57,044 Oh, darn, we missed the chicken dance. 475 00:21:57,333 --> 00:21:58,133 Excuse me. 476 00:21:58,208 --> 00:21:59,788 Have you seen my date? 477 00:21:59,875 --> 00:22:03,575 I'm sorry, I had to help Miranda put the gifts into the van. 478 00:22:07,500 --> 00:22:09,000 So, are you ready to go? 479 00:22:09,542 --> 00:22:11,132 Well, have they even cut the cake yet? 480 00:22:11,208 --> 00:22:12,288 I don't know. 481 00:22:12,375 --> 00:22:14,665 But I can tell you how it turns out. 482 00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:16,920 If you want to go, go. 483 00:22:18,083 --> 00:22:19,213 What? 484 00:22:20,792 --> 00:22:22,002 What's wrong? 485 00:22:22,083 --> 00:22:23,923 You wouldn't even sign the card. 486 00:22:24,250 --> 00:22:25,250 [groans] 487 00:22:26,375 --> 00:22:27,455 The card. 488 00:22:29,291 --> 00:22:32,041 I'm afraid we don't want the same things. 489 00:22:34,333 --> 00:22:36,423 Things like cake? 490 00:22:36,917 --> 00:22:41,577 I want someone who's going to be with me until the end... 491 00:22:42,834 --> 00:22:44,584 of a wedding. 492 00:22:47,333 --> 00:22:48,383 Okay. 493 00:22:49,583 --> 00:22:50,633 I'll stay. 494 00:22:51,583 --> 00:22:52,633 You will? 495 00:22:53,250 --> 00:22:54,170 Yes. 496 00:22:54,250 --> 00:22:56,170 [bandleader] Single ladies! 497 00:22:56,250 --> 00:22:59,170 It's time for the tossing of the bouquet. 498 00:22:59,250 --> 00:23:01,040 Isn't the bouquet toss at the end? 499 00:23:01,125 --> 00:23:03,245 Congratulations, you lucked out. 500 00:23:03,333 --> 00:23:06,083 Get us some cake, I want to say goodbye to my friends. 501 00:23:07,917 --> 00:23:09,997 -[Charlotte] Oh! Hey... -Hi. 502 00:23:10,458 --> 00:23:11,458 Big moment. 503 00:23:11,542 --> 00:23:13,212 Big and I are leaving. 504 00:23:13,291 --> 00:23:15,791 He's crossed his pain threshold and he's carrying me along with him. 505 00:23:16,083 --> 00:23:19,083 -Everybody ready? -[women scream] 506 00:23:19,458 --> 00:23:22,128 One, two, three. 507 00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:26,290 [woman screaming] 508 00:23:30,458 --> 00:23:31,788 Okay, girls, see you tomorrow. 509 00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:32,955 -Okay. -Okay. 510 00:23:33,041 --> 00:23:34,001 -Night-night. -Okay. 511 00:23:34,667 --> 00:23:37,577 -Well, let's... let's get your coats. -[Miranda] Mm-hmm. 512 00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:42,714 [Carrie] Some people know they're meant to be together. 513 00:23:42,792 --> 00:23:46,502 I knew I was meant to go home and have cake in bed with Big. 514 00:23:48,166 --> 00:23:50,456 Maybe we're more the fuzzy glove types.