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00:00:58,041 --> 00:01:00,421
Once upon
a "second time around..."
2
00:01:01,834 --> 00:01:03,044
...in a mythical land
3
00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:05,245
between Carmine
and Mulberry streets,
4
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,540
two mere mortals were having
a wonderful time.
5
00:01:10,625 --> 00:01:12,625
-Hey, Paisan!
-Carlo!
6
00:01:12,709 --> 00:01:14,879
Come stai?
7
00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:17,205
Carrie, this is the gangster
I was telling you about.
8
00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:19,831
Gangster? No, no, no, no,
no gangster.
9
00:01:19,917 --> 00:01:21,497
Really, come this way.
10
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:32,423
Ah, grazie.
11
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:33,880
-Carrie, this is Paolo.
Hello.
12
00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,329
Paolo, this is
my girlfriend, Carrie.
13
00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:38,710
Bread?
14
00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:41,671
You've never called me
your girlfriend before.
15
00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:42,830
Sure, I have.
16
00:01:42,917 --> 00:01:44,667
Just not
to your face.
17
00:01:55,667 --> 00:02:01,877
Bravo!
18
00:02:01,959 --> 00:02:04,629
Hey, grazie, grazie!
19
00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:05,749
And now you,
20
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,964
you wise guy, come on,
it's your turn.
21
00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:08,921
-Come on.
-Me?
22
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,460
Come on.
-Okay.
23
00:02:10,542 --> 00:02:13,542
-No, no, no, not-- not funny,
Mr. Sambuca.
-No, relax.
24
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:14,785
I'm a regular.
25
00:02:14,875 --> 00:02:16,705
-I'm a regular. I'm a regular.
-A regular?
26
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,748
I'd like to dedicate this
song to the lovely lady
27
00:02:23,834 --> 00:02:25,754
sitting right
over there.
28
00:02:27,875 --> 00:02:30,575
♪ When I was 17 ♪
29
00:02:32,417 --> 00:02:35,877
♪ It was a very
good year ♪
30
00:02:36,834 --> 00:02:39,294
♪ It was
a very good year ♪
31
00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:44,535
♪ For small town girls
and soft summer nights ♪
32
00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:48,582
♪ We'd hide
from the lights ♪
33
00:02:49,417 --> 00:02:52,417
♪ In the village green ♪
34
00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:57,130
♪ When I was 17 ♪
35
00:02:57,208 --> 00:03:01,208
It was perfect,
I felt like I was in heaven.
36
00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:08,543
Meanwhile, across town,
Miranda was in hell.
37
00:03:08,959 --> 00:03:10,579
...douche products...
38
00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:12,287
Or its modern day equivalent,
39
00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:13,825
the comedy club.
40
00:03:13,917 --> 00:03:15,127
Are we having
fun yet?
41
00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:16,668
Yeah, when does
the comedy start?
42
00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:19,500
I've never been
this close to suicide.
43
00:03:19,583 --> 00:03:21,503
...not pussy...
44
00:03:21,583 --> 00:03:22,673
I'll get the check.
45
00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:24,460
If you ditch me
in this place,
46
00:03:24,542 --> 00:03:26,882
I will hunt you down,
and kill you.
47
00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:28,499
All right? You wanna walk up...
48
00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,633
Alan Miller
was a divorced architect
49
00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:32,209
Miranda met in aisle
number three
50
00:03:32,291 --> 00:03:33,581
at the Food Emporium.
51
00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:35,577
They immediately bonded
over a shared hatred
52
00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:37,037
of designer croutons.
53
00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:39,035
And I don't know about
all you other guys,
54
00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:42,075
but if all I was interested
in was freshness,
55
00:03:42,166 --> 00:03:45,826
then I would be fucking
my salad crisper!
56
00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:52,581
Yo, Red!
57
00:03:53,792 --> 00:03:55,752
You wanna answer
your fuckin' phone?
58
00:03:56,875 --> 00:03:59,035
It's, uh...
It's not my phone.
59
00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:02,415
Go ahead, answer it.
60
00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:11,825
Answer it!
61
00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:14,457
Alan Miller's phone.
62
00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:18,584
No, this is his date,
who's this?
63
00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:19,827
Who is it?
64
00:04:23,041 --> 00:04:25,631
I'm sorry, his date
can't speak right now,
65
00:04:25,709 --> 00:04:28,499
whom may I
say is calling?
66
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,460
His wife!
67
00:04:33,542 --> 00:04:36,672
Hey, lug nuts,
your wife's on the phone.
68
00:04:37,542 --> 00:04:39,332
You told me
you were divorced.
69
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,250
I'm not
really divorced.
70
00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:42,673
I'm really separated.
71
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:44,380
No, we're really
separated.
72
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:47,498
See, this is me,
separating.
73
00:04:48,792 --> 00:04:50,172
Yo, Red,
not so fast.
74
00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:52,037
I'll fuck you.
75
00:04:54,625 --> 00:04:56,035
Honey...
76
00:04:56,542 --> 00:04:58,422
If they're not married,
they're gay,
77
00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:01,040
or burned from a divorce,
or aliens from the planet
78
00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:02,325
"Don't Date Me"!
79
00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:04,497
It's amazing how many of
them walk among us now.
80
00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:06,923
Only recognizable by their
slightly larger heads.
81
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,540
I asked him,
point blank,
82
00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:10,205
how long have
you been divorced?
83
00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:13,381
Three years,
just like that,
three years.
84
00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:14,668
Guys are such liars.
85
00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:17,290
And 97% of them can't
fuck you worth a damn!
86
00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:19,535
He tells me how much
he likes me, and boom,
87
00:05:19,625 --> 00:05:20,785
I believe him.
88
00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:21,915
Am I that needy?
89
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,380
Well, maybe he really
did like you.
90
00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:25,498
I swear, if you
Pollyanna-out on me today,
91
00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,883
I'm gonna have to hit you
with this rice pudding.
92
00:05:27,959 --> 00:05:30,789
This married man
fell madly in love
93
00:05:30,875 --> 00:05:32,575
with my friend Amanda's
friend Ashley,
94
00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:35,327
and he said he would
get a divorce and he did.
95
00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:37,457
And they got married and
they moved to Connecticut,
96
00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:40,382
and he is this amazing
husband and father.
97
00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:41,538
Never happened.
98
00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:43,575
-Excuse me?
-Urban relationship myth.
99
00:05:43,667 --> 00:05:46,207
Unbelievable fairy tales
concocted by women
100
00:05:46,291 --> 00:05:48,381
to make their love lives
seem less hopeless.
101
00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:51,168
Exactly, except it makes
you feel even more hopeless
102
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:53,630
because this fabulous
magical relationship
103
00:05:53,709 --> 00:05:55,669
is never happening to you.
104
00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:56,830
It did happen!
105
00:05:56,917 --> 00:05:58,327
It's right up there
with the one about
106
00:05:58,417 --> 00:05:59,497
the guy who
couldn't commit
107
00:05:59,583 --> 00:06:00,753
and the woman
broke up with him
108
00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:02,174
and moved away to Kansas
or some place,
109
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:03,830
and then one night,
she comes walking home...
110
00:06:03,917 --> 00:06:04,787
In the rain!
111
00:06:04,875 --> 00:06:06,205
Always, in the rain.
112
00:06:06,291 --> 00:06:08,881
And he's standing there
in front of her door
113
00:06:08,959 --> 00:06:10,169
with an
engagement ring
114
00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:11,420
and he says,
"Marry me"
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00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:13,040
and they live
happily ever after.
116
00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:14,455
But it can happen.
117
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,882
People do live
happily ever after.
118
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,789
It happened to my friend
Amanda's friend.
119
00:06:18,875 --> 00:06:21,825
It's always a friend
who knows a friend
who knows a friend.
120
00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:22,997
Charlotte, honey,
121
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:24,713
have you actually
ever known anyone
122
00:06:24,792 --> 00:06:28,212
who's relationship changed
magically overnight?
123
00:06:28,291 --> 00:06:29,421
Yes.
124
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,212
Look at Carrie
and Big.
125
00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:35,501
Their relationship
is totally different
126
00:06:35,583 --> 00:06:36,633
than it
used to be.
127
00:06:36,709 --> 00:06:39,419
How, tell me,
how is it different?
128
00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:43,791
It just is,
I can't explain it, it's...
129
00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:47,502
Actually I can, but you're so
scary right now, I won't.
130
00:06:47,583 --> 00:06:49,293
No, really, tell me.
131
00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:54,420
It's just a feeling.
132
00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:57,420
I don't know, something shifted,
it's like, um...
133
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:01,420
maybe we both know that
if we came together again,
134
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,000
it must be
for a reason.
135
00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:07,541
What, why is that
so hard to believe?
136
00:07:07,625 --> 00:07:09,325
How much time
have you got?
137
00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:10,747
That afternoon,
138
00:07:10,834 --> 00:07:13,254
I got to thinking about
myths and relationships.
139
00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:17,083
Heroes, boyfriends,
cyclopses, divorced guys.
140
00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:19,626
Are they really
that different?
141
00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:22,169
The primitive Greeks
clung desperately to myths
142
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:24,210
to explain
the random hopelessness
143
00:07:24,291 --> 00:07:26,001
of their
miserable lives.
144
00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:28,503
Do modern day singles
need modern day myths
145
00:07:28,583 --> 00:07:29,923
just to help us
get through
146
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,380
our random and sometimes
miserable relationships?
147
00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:35,288
And what about
Big and me?
148
00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:36,785
After what seemed
like an eternity
149
00:07:36,875 --> 00:07:38,535
of not quite
fitting together,
150
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,785
we suddenly fit.
151
00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:41,455
Had the relationship,
God smiled,
152
00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:44,462
or was that something I
desperately needed to believe?
153
00:07:44,542 --> 00:07:48,792
Are we willing to believe
anything to date?
154
00:07:48,875 --> 00:07:51,075
While Samantha had
little belief in the idea
155
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,456
of happily ever after,
156
00:07:52,542 --> 00:07:54,462
she had a very
strong belief in the idea
157
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:57,542
of a smart cocktail
at the end of the work day.
158
00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:02,333
Samantha,
a Cosmopolitan,
and Donald Trump.
159
00:08:02,417 --> 00:08:04,787
You just don't get
more New York than that.
160
00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,455
Listen, Ed,
I've gotta go.
161
00:08:06,542 --> 00:08:07,462
Yeah, good, Donald.
162
00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:08,962
-But think about it.
-Yeah.
163
00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:10,501
I'll be at my office
at Trump Tower.
164
00:08:10,583 --> 00:08:11,543
Good.
165
00:08:18,875 --> 00:08:20,245
Excuse me.
166
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,463
I was so distracted
by your beauty,
167
00:08:22,542 --> 00:08:25,172
I think I just agreed
to finance Mr. Trump's
168
00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:26,790
new project.
169
00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:28,995
You owe me me
150 million dollars.
170
00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:30,543
Will you take
a check?
171
00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:31,955
May I buy you
a drink?
172
00:08:32,041 --> 00:08:34,331
I already
have one, thanks.
173
00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:36,790
Can I buy you
an island?
174
00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:41,333
I don't know,
can you?
175
00:08:41,417 --> 00:08:42,917
The name's Ed.
176
00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:46,077
Samantha.
177
00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:48,786
So, Samantha,
do you come here often?
178
00:08:49,709 --> 00:08:51,669
Honey, that line's
older than you are.
179
00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:53,500
You are a pistol.
180
00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:55,923
Ed, you have no idea.
181
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,670
A bottle of their
best champagne later,
182
00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:00,670
Samantha had learned
that Ed was single,
183
00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:05,040
available, and a millionaire
many, many times over.
184
00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:07,460
What's your age
ceiling with men?
185
00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:09,079
Fifty?
186
00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:11,286
Factor in millions and
millions of dollars.
187
00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:13,166
Fifty?
188
00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:16,792
Well, I just met
the cutest older man.
189
00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:18,785
How old, fifty?
190
00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,457
Sixty?
191
00:09:23,583 --> 00:09:25,043
Sweetie,
is he on Medicare?
192
00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:28,415
I'm guessing 72,
a young 72.
193
00:09:30,625 --> 00:09:32,745
Your silence
reeks of ageism.
194
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:34,580
Are you serious?
195
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,037
He took me to dinner
at Jean-Georges,
196
00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:38,495
we got right in,
no reservation needed.
197
00:09:38,583 --> 00:09:40,133
I wasn't aware
that Jean-Georges
198
00:09:40,208 --> 00:09:41,628
had an early-bird special!
199
00:09:41,709 --> 00:09:43,459
He's vibrant and
powerful and generous.
200
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:46,382
And he's just looking
for someone to have
a little fun with.
201
00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:48,915
And would that include
bedroom fun?
202
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,670
We haven't
discussed it yet.
203
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,540
Are you telling me that
you are seriously capable
204
00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:55,665
of having sex
with a senior?
205
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:56,920
Well, you know
the saying.
206
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,830
All cats look
the same in the dark.
207
00:09:58,917 --> 00:10:00,667
It was pure urban legend.
208
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:02,210
Alligators
in the sewer,
209
00:10:02,291 --> 00:10:03,421
pets in
the microwave
210
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,710
and now an old man
in Samantha.
211
00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,753
Is this a piece of veal
or is this a piece of veal?
212
00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:11,214
That is a
piece of veal.
213
00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:12,751
In every myth,
there comes a point
214
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:15,174
when the mere mortals
are given a test.
215
00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:16,580
The way they respond
216
00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:19,457
usually determines whether
they find paradise
217
00:10:19,542 --> 00:10:22,542
or are tied to a big rock
for all eternity.
218
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,210
I have
a huge request.
219
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,169
I want you to know
my friends better.
220
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:30,665
I know your
friends fine.
221
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,915
Charlotte
is the brunette.
222
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,878
Miranda's
the redhead.
223
00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:38,665
And Samantha
is trouble.
224
00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:41,577
Okay, then I want them
to know you better.
225
00:10:41,667 --> 00:10:44,287
They've never really
spent time with you, and...
226
00:10:44,709 --> 00:10:46,789
you're so
funny and cute.
227
00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:49,708
Carrie, what
is it you need?
228
00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:53,831
I want us all to have dinner
Saturday night at Denial.
229
00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:56,537
Denial was a very popular
Manhattan hot spot.
230
00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:58,625
Apparently,
everyone in Manhattan
231
00:10:58,709 --> 00:11:00,579
wanted to be
in denial.
232
00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:01,787
Okay.
233
00:11:01,875 --> 00:11:04,375
Why are you
suddenly so...
234
00:11:04,458 --> 00:11:05,288
Cute?
235
00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:06,285
Yes.
236
00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,165
Why are you
so cute?
237
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:16,830
Hello.
238
00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:18,627
Hey, where are you?
239
00:11:18,709 --> 00:11:20,079
I've been waiting
here forever.
240
00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:21,416
Didn't you get
my message?
241
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,290
I left it on your machine
like an hour ago.
242
00:11:23,375 --> 00:11:24,995
No, I didn't call home,
is everything alright?
243
00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:26,543
I thought you were
dead or something.
244
00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:28,825
No, no, I'm fine,
I'm at Big's.
245
00:11:28,917 --> 00:11:30,787
You're at Big's?
246
00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:32,995
You and I are
having dinner tonight.
247
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:36,423
Well, he got this veal.
248
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:37,880
You blew me off
249
00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:40,079
for a piece of
politically incorrect meat?
250
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,996
Well, he wanted
to make me dinner.
251
00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:44,583
So, you just
dropped your life
252
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,417
and ran right on
over to his!
253
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:49,290
Um, I really can't get
into that right now.
254
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:50,997
You know what?
255
00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:53,543
Your relationship is
exactly the same as always.
256
00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:54,705
It's all about him.
257
00:11:54,792 --> 00:11:56,712
Could you put Miranda on,
please?
258
00:11:56,792 --> 00:11:58,632
Enjoy your veal.
259
00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:02,792
Problem?
260
00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:04,415
No, no.
261
00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:09,245
I'll have another
glass of wine.
262
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,286
Please.
263
00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:17,705
Please what?
264
00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:19,962
"I'll have another
glass of wine, please."
265
00:12:20,792 --> 00:12:23,212
Um, are you allowed
to talk to me like that?
266
00:12:23,291 --> 00:12:25,671
Yeah, I think I am.
267
00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:27,285
Enjoy.
268
00:12:28,417 --> 00:12:29,377
Thank you.
269
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:32,328
Steve.
"Thank you, Steve."
270
00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:34,666
Look, that's really
very cute,
271
00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:36,830
but I'm not really
in the mood.
272
00:12:36,917 --> 00:12:39,577
"I'm not really in
the mood, Steve."
273
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:40,787
I'm not
a total bitch,
274
00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:42,535
I just had a fight
with somebody.
275
00:12:42,625 --> 00:12:44,575
Yeah, I heard,
boyfriend?
276
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:45,957
That's none
of your business.
277
00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:47,291
Girlfriend?
278
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:49,165
-Butcher.
-Butcher?
279
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:52,500
The veal...
I took a shot.
280
00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,665
What are you
reading?
281
00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:59,713
"The Joy of Bartending,"
Hemingway.
282
00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:02,213
So, what,
you're funny?
283
00:13:06,542 --> 00:13:09,712
Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down...
That's a nice Côtes du Rhône.
284
00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:11,877
Enjoy.
285
00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:16,332
Nah, it's on me.
286
00:13:17,458 --> 00:13:18,918
And why would
that be?
287
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,500
A bribe, so you'll
hang out and talk.
288
00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:22,673
If you leave,
289
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:24,170
I'll have to listen
to those NYU kids
290
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:27,170
with the Amstel Lights
discuss Fiona Apple.
291
00:13:27,959 --> 00:13:29,379
I'm begging you.
292
00:13:40,041 --> 00:13:42,461
But they did a little
more than talk.
293
00:13:42,542 --> 00:13:44,542
After work they went
back to her place,
294
00:13:44,625 --> 00:13:46,075
where Steve,
the bartender,
295
00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:48,036
served Miranda
two orgasms,
296
00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:49,285
straight up.
297
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:58,752
So, uh... that was, uh...
really special.
298
00:13:59,709 --> 00:14:00,829
Sure...
299
00:14:00,917 --> 00:14:02,377
Is that your
shirt over there?
300
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:04,125
Yeah.
301
00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:09,213
So, can I get
your phone number?
302
00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:11,423
Why?
303
00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:14,043
To call you up and
ask you for a date.
304
00:14:15,041 --> 00:14:16,081
Look...
305
00:14:16,458 --> 00:14:18,748
Steve...
"Look, Steve."
306
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,998
You don't
have to do this.
307
00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:23,665
You don't have to make
believe you're gonna call.
308
00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:25,290
Let's just call this
what this was.
309
00:14:25,375 --> 00:14:26,705
A one night stand.
310
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:32,130
You're a
real pisser.
311
00:14:37,959 --> 00:14:40,459
Stop by the bar,
see me sometime.
312
00:14:40,542 --> 00:14:42,582
Sure, okay,
whatever.
313
00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,747
Thanks, bye.
314
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:46,248
Great sex.
315
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,632
Three dinners and two
extravagant lunches later,
316
00:14:55,709 --> 00:14:58,209
Ed invited Samantha
over to his townhouse.
317
00:14:58,291 --> 00:14:59,421
Up until now,
318
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:00,920
Samantha would never
have believed
319
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,080
she would consider a
relationship with an older man.
320
00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:05,786
But, there was
something about Ed.
321
00:15:06,875 --> 00:15:08,035
Oh!
322
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,455
Well, how did
that get there?
323
00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:13,125
I wonder if...
324
00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:17,575
Oh, oh!
325
00:15:22,667 --> 00:15:25,667
Oh, Ed, no.
326
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,330
Uh-huh.
327
00:15:39,291 --> 00:15:42,041
After an impressive
six course dinner,
328
00:15:42,125 --> 00:15:44,245
Ed put the moves
on Samantha.
329
00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,713
Ed's moves were
from a different dating time.
330
00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:49,422
Moves Samantha had heard of
or seen in old movies,
331
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,830
but moves she never thought
she'd experience firsthand.
332
00:15:53,125 --> 00:15:55,825
I used to groove with
these cats in Cuba.
333
00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,883
What's the matter, Ed?
334
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,670
-Can't afford the light bill?
335
00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:05,670
You're fun...
A toast to fun.
336
00:16:07,583 --> 00:16:09,083
Mmm.
337
00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,833
Oh, what the hell.
338
00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:14,705
I'm gonna lay
my cards on the table.
339
00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:16,884
Samantha,
340
00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:20,205
I figure I've only got a
handful of good years left.
341
00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:23,171
-Oh, no, Ed...
-No, ten to twelve, tops.
342
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,630
And I'm looking for
someone to have some fun with.
343
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:28,081
Now, I'm aware that
a gorgeous woman like you
344
00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:30,456
can get any
young man you want.
345
00:16:30,542 --> 00:16:33,922
-Well...
-So, I'm willing to make it
worth your while.
346
00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:37,713
And speaking of wild,
don't worry.
347
00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:42,415
I got a big old
pocket full of Viagra.
348
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:48,460
Why, Ed,
that's not Viagra.
349
00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:50,999
Samantha was suddenly living
350
00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:53,133
her own urban
relationship myth.
351
00:16:53,208 --> 00:16:55,458
The woman who stopped
for a cocktail after work
352
00:16:55,542 --> 00:16:57,672
and lived happily
ever after.
353
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,420
For ten to
twelve years, tops.
354
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:03,630
I think in
the dark is sexier.
355
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:06,035
Could you get that
light behind you?
356
00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:10,205
-Oh.
357
00:17:10,291 --> 00:17:11,671
In the dark,
Samantha learned
358
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,540
that all cats
not only look the same,
359
00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:15,125
but they
felt the same.
360
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,748
Ed's lips were not
the lips of an older man.
361
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,575
Ed's touch was
not the touch of an older man.
362
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,831
Excuse me, baby,
little boy's room.
363
00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:29,285
Unfortunately,
Ed's ass
364
00:17:29,375 --> 00:17:31,165
was the ass
of an older man.
365
00:17:38,375 --> 00:17:40,125
She told him it was
a bad reaction
366
00:17:40,208 --> 00:17:42,578
to the shellfish
from dinner.
367
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,206
Saturday afternoon,
Miranda was at home
368
00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:52,251
enjoying a cup of coffee
and her New York Times
369
00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:53,833
when fate
came knocking.
370
00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:03,882
Yes?
371
00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:05,249
It's Steve.
372
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:06,383
Steve who?
373
00:18:06,458 --> 00:18:08,498
Steve Brady,
the bartender.
374
00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:10,208
What do you want?
375
00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:12,251
You want your
neighbors to hear?
376
00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:20,247
Hey, hi.
377
00:18:20,709 --> 00:18:21,919
Thanks for
letting me in.
378
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,880
Did you forget something
the other night?
379
00:18:23,959 --> 00:18:25,209
No, I didn't
have your number
380
00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:27,501
and I wanted to tell
you something.
381
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,000
I like you.
382
00:18:30,834 --> 00:18:33,254
Translation,
I think you're an easy lay
383
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:34,923
and I'd like to
have sex again.
384
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,830
No, it's not
like that.
385
00:18:38,375 --> 00:18:39,785
Have dinner
with me.
386
00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:41,380
Why?
387
00:18:41,834 --> 00:18:45,004
I don't know,
because we're hungry.
388
00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,543
I can't have dinner with you,
I don't even know you.
389
00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:48,962
You slept with me.
390
00:18:49,041 --> 00:18:50,421
It's a
different thing.
391
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:52,540
How about tonight?
392
00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:53,785
No, I have plans.
393
00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:54,955
You don't
have plans.
394
00:18:55,041 --> 00:18:56,381
-I have plans.
-What plans?
395
00:18:56,458 --> 00:18:57,878
Quick, before you
make one up.
396
00:18:57,959 --> 00:19:00,789
I'm meeting my friends
downtown at Denial for dinner.
397
00:19:00,875 --> 00:19:02,285
Yeah? My buddy
works over there.
398
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,075
I'll meet you for
a drink, what time?
399
00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:05,246
Seven.
400
00:19:06,125 --> 00:19:07,325
Okay.
401
00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:13,825
What time are you
really meeting them?
402
00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:18,875
Nine.
403
00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:20,997
Mm!
404
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,251
At 8:15,
I arrived at Big's.
405
00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,753
One quick drink
at his place,
406
00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:32,134
and we'd be
out the door.
407
00:19:32,208 --> 00:19:33,498
I told myself
all day
408
00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:35,713
it was just another
dinner with friends.
409
00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:37,332
But, as I stood waiting,
410
00:19:37,417 --> 00:19:39,497
in my new,
very favorite dress,
411
00:19:39,583 --> 00:19:41,793
I realized
it meant a lot more.
412
00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,830
Hey, baby,
c'mon in.
413
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,577
Well, you are not
properly attired
414
00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:49,417
to meet my friends,
mister, now hop to it.
415
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:52,210
Yeah, about that...
uh...
416
00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:55,785
Do you mind
if I don't go?
417
00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:58,333
I mean, I've been
out all day,
418
00:19:58,417 --> 00:19:59,917
it's gonna rain.
419
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,253
But my friends
are expecting you.
420
00:20:03,458 --> 00:20:05,748
Yeah, I know,
but they're your friends, and...
421
00:20:06,583 --> 00:20:08,423
they'll be fine
with just you.
422
00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,503
Is it okay?
423
00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:13,420
Sure.
424
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:16,540
I was afraid if I
looked up into his eyes,
425
00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:18,285
I'd turn to stone.
426
00:20:23,625 --> 00:20:25,455
How could I have let
myself believe
427
00:20:25,542 --> 00:20:28,042
things would be different
the second time around?
428
00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:30,375
I've never even heard of
an urban relationship myth
429
00:20:30,458 --> 00:20:33,328
in which a self-centered,
42-year-old baby
430
00:20:33,417 --> 00:20:35,497
magically transformed
into a grown man
431
00:20:35,583 --> 00:20:37,633
that you could
bring out in public.
432
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,383
They won't seat us until
all of our party is here.
433
00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:47,328
Oh.
-How long do you
think Big will be?
434
00:20:47,917 --> 00:20:49,667
I'm not sure,
he's coming from work.
435
00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:52,750
I didn't have the strength to
tell them about my fallen hero.
436
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,544
At least not
without a cocktail.
437
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:56,415
I figured as long
as I was in denial,
438
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:57,580
I might as well
stay there.
439
00:20:57,667 --> 00:20:59,667
Mmm! Look at you.
440
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,915
Well, if you want good service,
send a bartender.
441
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,170
And if you want
a good fuck,
442
00:21:04,250 --> 00:21:05,500
go home with one.
443
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,423
Hello,
it was funny!
444
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,460
Miranda, can I talk
to you over there?
445
00:21:12,542 --> 00:21:13,792
For a second.
446
00:21:13,875 --> 00:21:16,825
The Gods are punishing me
for having casual sex.
447
00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:22,625
Oof.
448
00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:25,747
Thank you.
449
00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:27,544
One quick question
and I'm out of here.
450
00:21:27,625 --> 00:21:30,245
Why do you hate
guys so much?
451
00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:31,423
Excuse me?
452
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:32,500
We just met,
453
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,963
so I know that
ain't all about me.
454
00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:36,378
Wait, wait, wait!
455
00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:38,168
What, what
do you want?
456
00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:40,210
I just wanna get
to know you better.
457
00:21:41,375 --> 00:21:43,205
Do me a favor,
458
00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:44,962
can you,
for one second,
459
00:21:45,041 --> 00:21:48,541
believe that maybe I'm not
some full of shit guy?
460
00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:50,580
That maybe
I do like you?
461
00:21:50,875 --> 00:21:53,035
That maybe the other
night was special?
462
00:21:53,458 --> 00:21:55,628
Do you think that maybe
you can believe that?
463
00:21:55,709 --> 00:21:56,959
No.
464
00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:59,751
Maybe I've just slept
with too many bartenders.
465
00:22:04,875 --> 00:22:06,285
Are you okay?
466
00:22:06,375 --> 00:22:08,035
I don't wanna
talk about it.
467
00:22:10,041 --> 00:22:13,041
Nice meeting you all,
excuse me.
468
00:22:19,291 --> 00:22:21,461
Guys, maybe we should just
get a table for us four.
469
00:22:21,542 --> 00:22:23,752
I knew it,
Big's not coming.
470
00:22:24,667 --> 00:22:25,747
Men are shit.
471
00:22:25,834 --> 00:22:27,214
Miranda, what are
you talking about?
472
00:22:27,291 --> 00:22:28,671
He's coming,
isn't he?
473
00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:30,170
I didn't know
if I had the heart
474
00:22:30,250 --> 00:22:32,500
to tell me Charlotte
that happily ever after
475
00:22:32,583 --> 00:22:34,423
really was just a myth.
476
00:22:36,125 --> 00:22:37,955
See, there he is!
477
00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:52,960
-Hey... whoa!
-Hey.
478
00:22:53,041 --> 00:22:55,501
Boy, it's really coming
down out there.
479
00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:57,383
You remember
my friends?
480
00:22:57,458 --> 00:22:58,538
Of course, I do.
481
00:22:58,625 --> 00:22:59,875
-Hello, ladies.
-Hello.
482
00:22:59,959 --> 00:23:01,539
Seeing Big show up
for me like that
483
00:23:01,625 --> 00:23:03,575
shook Miranda's
lack of belief system
484
00:23:03,667 --> 00:23:05,037
to the very core.
485
00:23:05,125 --> 00:23:06,825
Excuse me.
486
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,420
More drinks?
487
00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:12,130
And just like that,
Miranda left denial.
488
00:23:14,208 --> 00:23:17,628
Steve!
489
00:23:22,417 --> 00:23:24,127
Maybe I can
believe it.
490
00:23:29,458 --> 00:23:30,878
From that night on,
491
00:23:30,959 --> 00:23:33,129
promiscuous women everywhere
would tell the tale
492
00:23:33,208 --> 00:23:34,538
of the one night stand
493
00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:37,165
that turned into
a relationship.
494
00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:39,080
And as for
Big and me...
495
00:23:39,166 --> 00:23:40,786
So, Samantha,
tell me...
496
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:43,500
Did you ever get it on
with that old coot?
497
00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:48,375
That was the night
we stopped being a myth
498
00:23:48,458 --> 00:23:50,828
and started
becoming real.