1 00:00:58,041 --> 00:01:00,421 Once upon a "second time around..." 2 00:01:01,834 --> 00:01:03,044 ...in a mythical land 3 00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:05,245 between Carmine and Mulberry streets, 4 00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,540 two mere mortals were having a wonderful time. 5 00:01:10,625 --> 00:01:12,625 -Hey, Paisan! -Carlo! 6 00:01:12,709 --> 00:01:14,879 Come stai? 7 00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:17,205 Carrie, this is the gangster I was telling you about. 8 00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:19,831 Gangster? No, no, no, no, no gangster. 9 00:01:19,917 --> 00:01:21,497 Really, come this way. 10 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:32,423 Ah, grazie. 11 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:33,880 -Carrie, this is Paolo. Hello. 12 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:36,329 Paolo, this is my girlfriend, Carrie. 13 00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:38,710 Bread? 14 00:01:39,041 --> 00:01:41,671 You've never called me your girlfriend before. 15 00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:42,830 Sure, I have. 16 00:01:42,917 --> 00:01:44,667 Just not to your face. 17 00:01:55,667 --> 00:02:01,877 Bravo! 18 00:02:01,959 --> 00:02:04,629 Hey, grazie, grazie! 19 00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:05,749 And now you, 20 00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,964 you wise guy, come on, it's your turn. 21 00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:08,921 -Come on. -Me? 22 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,460 Come on. -Okay. 23 00:02:10,542 --> 00:02:13,542 -No, no, no, not-- not funny, Mr. Sambuca. -No, relax. 24 00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:14,785 I'm a regular. 25 00:02:14,875 --> 00:02:16,705 -I'm a regular. I'm a regular. -A regular? 26 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,748 I'd like to dedicate this song to the lovely lady 27 00:02:23,834 --> 00:02:25,754 sitting right over there. 28 00:02:27,875 --> 00:02:30,575 ♪ When I was 17 ♪ 29 00:02:32,417 --> 00:02:35,877 ♪ It was a very good year ♪ 30 00:02:36,834 --> 00:02:39,294 ♪ It was a very good year ♪ 31 00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:44,535 ♪ For small town girls and soft summer nights ♪ 32 00:02:45,542 --> 00:02:48,582 ♪ We'd hide from the lights ♪ 33 00:02:49,417 --> 00:02:52,417 ♪ In the village green ♪ 34 00:02:53,750 --> 00:02:57,130 ♪ When I was 17 ♪ 35 00:02:57,208 --> 00:03:01,208 It was perfect, I felt like I was in heaven. 36 00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:08,543 Meanwhile, across town, Miranda was in hell. 37 00:03:08,959 --> 00:03:10,579 ...douche products... 38 00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:12,287 Or its modern day equivalent, 39 00:03:12,375 --> 00:03:13,825 the comedy club. 40 00:03:13,917 --> 00:03:15,127 Are we having fun yet? 41 00:03:15,208 --> 00:03:16,668 Yeah, when does the comedy start? 42 00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:19,500 I've never been this close to suicide. 43 00:03:19,583 --> 00:03:21,503 ...not pussy... 44 00:03:21,583 --> 00:03:22,673 I'll get the check. 45 00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:24,460 If you ditch me in this place, 46 00:03:24,542 --> 00:03:26,882 I will hunt you down, and kill you. 47 00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:28,499 All right? You wanna walk up... 48 00:03:28,583 --> 00:03:30,633 Alan Miller was a divorced architect 49 00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:32,209 Miranda met in aisle number three 50 00:03:32,291 --> 00:03:33,581 at the Food Emporium. 51 00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:35,577 They immediately bonded over a shared hatred 52 00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:37,037 of designer croutons. 53 00:03:37,125 --> 00:03:39,035 And I don't know about all you other guys, 54 00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:42,075 but if all I was interested in was freshness, 55 00:03:42,166 --> 00:03:45,826 then I would be fucking my salad crisper! 56 00:03:51,041 --> 00:03:52,581 Yo, Red! 57 00:03:53,792 --> 00:03:55,752 You wanna answer your fuckin' phone? 58 00:03:56,875 --> 00:03:59,035 It's, uh... It's not my phone. 59 00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:02,415 Go ahead, answer it. 60 00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:11,825 Answer it! 61 00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:14,457 Alan Miller's phone. 62 00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:18,584 No, this is his date, who's this? 63 00:04:18,667 --> 00:04:19,827 Who is it? 64 00:04:23,041 --> 00:04:25,631 I'm sorry, his date can't speak right now, 65 00:04:25,709 --> 00:04:28,499 whom may I say is calling? 66 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,460 His wife! 67 00:04:33,542 --> 00:04:36,672 Hey, lug nuts, your wife's on the phone. 68 00:04:37,542 --> 00:04:39,332 You told me you were divorced. 69 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,250 I'm not really divorced. 70 00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:42,673 I'm really separated. 71 00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:44,380 No, we're really separated. 72 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:47,498 See, this is me, separating. 73 00:04:48,792 --> 00:04:50,172 Yo, Red, not so fast. 74 00:04:50,917 --> 00:04:52,037 I'll fuck you. 75 00:04:54,625 --> 00:04:56,035 Honey... 76 00:04:56,542 --> 00:04:58,422 If they're not married, they're gay, 77 00:04:58,500 --> 00:05:01,040 or burned from a divorce, or aliens from the planet 78 00:05:01,125 --> 00:05:02,325 "Don't Date Me"! 79 00:05:02,417 --> 00:05:04,497 It's amazing how many of them walk among us now. 80 00:05:04,583 --> 00:05:06,923 Only recognizable by their slightly larger heads. 81 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,540 I asked him, point blank, 82 00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:10,205 how long have you been divorced? 83 00:05:10,291 --> 00:05:13,381 Three years, just like that, three years. 84 00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:14,668 Guys are such liars. 85 00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:17,290 And 97% of them can't fuck you worth a damn! 86 00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:19,535 He tells me how much he likes me, and boom, 87 00:05:19,625 --> 00:05:20,785 I believe him. 88 00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:21,915 Am I that needy? 89 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,380 Well, maybe he really did like you. 90 00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:25,498 I swear, if you Pollyanna-out on me today, 91 00:05:25,583 --> 00:05:27,883 I'm gonna have to hit you with this rice pudding. 92 00:05:27,959 --> 00:05:30,789 This married man fell madly in love 93 00:05:30,875 --> 00:05:32,575 with my friend Amanda's friend Ashley, 94 00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:35,327 and he said he would get a divorce and he did. 95 00:05:35,417 --> 00:05:37,457 And they got married and they moved to Connecticut, 96 00:05:37,542 --> 00:05:40,382 and he is this amazing husband and father. 97 00:05:40,458 --> 00:05:41,538 Never happened. 98 00:05:41,625 --> 00:05:43,575 -Excuse me? -Urban relationship myth. 99 00:05:43,667 --> 00:05:46,207 Unbelievable fairy tales concocted by women 100 00:05:46,291 --> 00:05:48,381 to make their love lives seem less hopeless. 101 00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:51,168 Exactly, except it makes you feel even more hopeless 102 00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:53,630 because this fabulous magical relationship 103 00:05:53,709 --> 00:05:55,669 is never happening to you. 104 00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:56,830 It did happen! 105 00:05:56,917 --> 00:05:58,327 It's right up there with the one about 106 00:05:58,417 --> 00:05:59,497 the guy who couldn't commit 107 00:05:59,583 --> 00:06:00,753 and the woman broke up with him 108 00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:02,174 and moved away to Kansas or some place, 109 00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:03,830 and then one night, she comes walking home... 110 00:06:03,917 --> 00:06:04,787 In the rain! 111 00:06:04,875 --> 00:06:06,205 Always, in the rain. 112 00:06:06,291 --> 00:06:08,881 And he's standing there in front of her door 113 00:06:08,959 --> 00:06:10,169 with an engagement ring 114 00:06:10,250 --> 00:06:11,420 and he says, "Marry me" 115 00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:13,040 and they live happily ever after. 116 00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:14,455 But it can happen. 117 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:16,882 People do live happily ever after. 118 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:18,789 It happened to my friend Amanda's friend. 119 00:06:18,875 --> 00:06:21,825 It's always a friend who knows a friend who knows a friend. 120 00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:22,997 Charlotte, honey, 121 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:24,713 have you actually ever known anyone 122 00:06:24,792 --> 00:06:28,212 who's relationship changed magically overnight? 123 00:06:28,291 --> 00:06:29,421 Yes. 124 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,212 Look at Carrie and Big. 125 00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:35,501 Their relationship is totally different 126 00:06:35,583 --> 00:06:36,633 than it used to be. 127 00:06:36,709 --> 00:06:39,419 How, tell me, how is it different? 128 00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:43,791 It just is, I can't explain it, it's... 129 00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:47,502 Actually I can, but you're so scary right now, I won't. 130 00:06:47,583 --> 00:06:49,293 No, really, tell me. 131 00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:54,420 It's just a feeling. 132 00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:57,420 I don't know, something shifted, it's like, um... 133 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:01,420 maybe we both know that if we came together again, 134 00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,000 it must be for a reason. 135 00:07:05,041 --> 00:07:07,541 What, why is that so hard to believe? 136 00:07:07,625 --> 00:07:09,325 How much time have you got? 137 00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:10,747 That afternoon, 138 00:07:10,834 --> 00:07:13,254 I got to thinking about myths and relationships. 139 00:07:13,333 --> 00:07:17,083 Heroes, boyfriends, cyclopses, divorced guys. 140 00:07:17,166 --> 00:07:19,626 Are they really that different? 141 00:07:19,709 --> 00:07:22,169 The primitive Greeks clung desperately to myths 142 00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:24,210 to explain the random hopelessness 143 00:07:24,291 --> 00:07:26,001 of their miserable lives. 144 00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:28,503 Do modern day singles need modern day myths 145 00:07:28,583 --> 00:07:29,923 just to help us get through 146 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,380 our random and sometimes miserable relationships? 147 00:07:33,458 --> 00:07:35,288 And what about Big and me? 148 00:07:35,375 --> 00:07:36,785 After what seemed like an eternity 149 00:07:36,875 --> 00:07:38,535 of not quite fitting together, 150 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,785 we suddenly fit. 151 00:07:39,875 --> 00:07:41,455 Had the relationship, God smiled, 152 00:07:41,542 --> 00:07:44,462 or was that something I desperately needed to believe? 153 00:07:44,542 --> 00:07:48,792 Are we willing to believe anything to date? 154 00:07:48,875 --> 00:07:51,075 While Samantha had little belief in the idea 155 00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:52,456 of happily ever after, 156 00:07:52,542 --> 00:07:54,462 she had a very strong belief in the idea 157 00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:57,542 of a smart cocktail at the end of the work day. 158 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:02,333 Samantha, a Cosmopolitan, and Donald Trump. 159 00:08:02,417 --> 00:08:04,787 You just don't get more New York than that. 160 00:08:04,875 --> 00:08:06,455 Listen, Ed, I've gotta go. 161 00:08:06,542 --> 00:08:07,462 Yeah, good, Donald. 162 00:08:07,542 --> 00:08:08,962 -But think about it. -Yeah. 163 00:08:09,041 --> 00:08:10,501 I'll be at my office at Trump Tower. 164 00:08:10,583 --> 00:08:11,543 Good. 165 00:08:18,875 --> 00:08:20,245 Excuse me. 166 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,463 I was so distracted by your beauty, 167 00:08:22,542 --> 00:08:25,172 I think I just agreed to finance Mr. Trump's 168 00:08:25,250 --> 00:08:26,790 new project. 169 00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:28,995 You owe me me 150 million dollars. 170 00:08:29,083 --> 00:08:30,543 Will you take a check? 171 00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:31,955 May I buy you a drink? 172 00:08:32,041 --> 00:08:34,331 I already have one, thanks. 173 00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:36,790 Can I buy you an island? 174 00:08:39,583 --> 00:08:41,333 I don't know, can you? 175 00:08:41,417 --> 00:08:42,917 The name's Ed. 176 00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:46,077 Samantha. 177 00:08:46,166 --> 00:08:48,786 So, Samantha, do you come here often? 178 00:08:49,709 --> 00:08:51,669 Honey, that line's older than you are. 179 00:08:51,750 --> 00:08:53,500 You are a pistol. 180 00:08:53,583 --> 00:08:55,923 Ed, you have no idea. 181 00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:58,670 A bottle of their best champagne later, 182 00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:00,670 Samantha had learned that Ed was single, 183 00:09:00,750 --> 00:09:05,040 available, and a millionaire many, many times over. 184 00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:07,460 What's your age ceiling with men? 185 00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:09,079 Fifty? 186 00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:11,286 Factor in millions and millions of dollars. 187 00:09:12,166 --> 00:09:13,166 Fifty? 188 00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:16,792 Well, I just met the cutest older man. 189 00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:18,785 How old, fifty? 190 00:09:20,667 --> 00:09:22,457 Sixty? 191 00:09:23,583 --> 00:09:25,043 Sweetie, is he on Medicare? 192 00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:28,415 I'm guessing 72, a young 72. 193 00:09:30,625 --> 00:09:32,745 Your silence reeks of ageism. 194 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:34,580 Are you serious? 195 00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,037 He took me to dinner at Jean-Georges, 196 00:09:36,125 --> 00:09:38,495 we got right in, no reservation needed. 197 00:09:38,583 --> 00:09:40,133 I wasn't aware that Jean-Georges 198 00:09:40,208 --> 00:09:41,628 had an early-bird special! 199 00:09:41,709 --> 00:09:43,459 He's vibrant and powerful and generous. 200 00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:46,382 And he's just looking for someone to have a little fun with. 201 00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:48,915 And would that include bedroom fun? 202 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,670 We haven't discussed it yet. 203 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,540 Are you telling me that you are seriously capable 204 00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:55,665 of having sex with a senior? 205 00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:56,920 Well, you know the saying. 206 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,830 All cats look the same in the dark. 207 00:09:58,917 --> 00:10:00,667 It was pure urban legend. 208 00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:02,210 Alligators in the sewer, 209 00:10:02,291 --> 00:10:03,421 pets in the microwave 210 00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:05,710 and now an old man in Samantha. 211 00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:08,753 Is this a piece of veal or is this a piece of veal? 212 00:10:08,834 --> 00:10:11,214 That is a piece of veal. 213 00:10:11,291 --> 00:10:12,751 In every myth, there comes a point 214 00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:15,174 when the mere mortals are given a test. 215 00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:16,580 The way they respond 216 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:19,457 usually determines whether they find paradise 217 00:10:19,542 --> 00:10:22,542 or are tied to a big rock for all eternity. 218 00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,210 I have a huge request. 219 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,169 I want you to know my friends better. 220 00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:30,665 I know your friends fine. 221 00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:32,915 Charlotte is the brunette. 222 00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,878 Miranda's the redhead. 223 00:10:36,375 --> 00:10:38,665 And Samantha is trouble. 224 00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:41,577 Okay, then I want them to know you better. 225 00:10:41,667 --> 00:10:44,287 They've never really spent time with you, and... 226 00:10:44,709 --> 00:10:46,789 you're so funny and cute. 227 00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:49,708 Carrie, what is it you need? 228 00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:53,831 I want us all to have dinner Saturday night at Denial. 229 00:10:53,917 --> 00:10:56,537 Denial was a very popular Manhattan hot spot. 230 00:10:56,625 --> 00:10:58,625 Apparently, everyone in Manhattan 231 00:10:58,709 --> 00:11:00,579 wanted to be in denial. 232 00:11:00,667 --> 00:11:01,787 Okay. 233 00:11:01,875 --> 00:11:04,375 Why are you suddenly so... 234 00:11:04,458 --> 00:11:05,288 Cute? 235 00:11:05,375 --> 00:11:06,285 Yes. 236 00:11:06,375 --> 00:11:08,165 Why are you so cute? 237 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:16,830 Hello. 238 00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:18,627 Hey, where are you? 239 00:11:18,709 --> 00:11:20,079 I've been waiting here forever. 240 00:11:20,166 --> 00:11:21,416 Didn't you get my message? 241 00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,290 I left it on your machine like an hour ago. 242 00:11:23,375 --> 00:11:24,995 No, I didn't call home, is everything alright? 243 00:11:25,083 --> 00:11:26,543 I thought you were dead or something. 244 00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:28,825 No, no, I'm fine, I'm at Big's. 245 00:11:28,917 --> 00:11:30,787 You're at Big's? 246 00:11:30,875 --> 00:11:32,995 You and I are having dinner tonight. 247 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:36,423 Well, he got this veal. 248 00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:37,880 You blew me off 249 00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:40,079 for a piece of politically incorrect meat? 250 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,996 Well, he wanted to make me dinner. 251 00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:44,583 So, you just dropped your life 252 00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,417 and ran right on over to his! 253 00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:49,290 Um, I really can't get into that right now. 254 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:50,997 You know what? 255 00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:53,543 Your relationship is exactly the same as always. 256 00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:54,705 It's all about him. 257 00:11:54,792 --> 00:11:56,712 Could you put Miranda on, please? 258 00:11:56,792 --> 00:11:58,632 Enjoy your veal. 259 00:12:01,542 --> 00:12:02,792 Problem? 260 00:12:02,875 --> 00:12:04,415 No, no. 261 00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:09,245 I'll have another glass of wine. 262 00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,286 Please. 263 00:12:16,125 --> 00:12:17,705 Please what? 264 00:12:17,792 --> 00:12:19,962 "I'll have another glass of wine, please." 265 00:12:20,792 --> 00:12:23,212 Um, are you allowed to talk to me like that? 266 00:12:23,291 --> 00:12:25,671 Yeah, I think I am. 267 00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:27,285 Enjoy. 268 00:12:28,417 --> 00:12:29,377 Thank you. 269 00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:32,328 Steve. "Thank you, Steve." 270 00:12:33,166 --> 00:12:34,666 Look, that's really very cute, 271 00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:36,830 but I'm not really in the mood. 272 00:12:36,917 --> 00:12:39,577 "I'm not really in the mood, Steve." 273 00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:40,787 I'm not a total bitch, 274 00:12:40,875 --> 00:12:42,535 I just had a fight with somebody. 275 00:12:42,625 --> 00:12:44,575 Yeah, I heard, boyfriend? 276 00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:45,957 That's none of your business. 277 00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:47,291 Girlfriend? 278 00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:49,165 -Butcher. -Butcher? 279 00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:52,500 The veal... I took a shot. 280 00:12:55,125 --> 00:12:56,665 What are you reading? 281 00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:59,713 "The Joy of Bartending," Hemingway. 282 00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:02,213 So, what, you're funny? 283 00:13:06,542 --> 00:13:09,712 Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down... That's a nice Côtes du Rhône. 284 00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:11,877 Enjoy. 285 00:13:14,542 --> 00:13:16,332 Nah, it's on me. 286 00:13:17,458 --> 00:13:18,918 And why would that be? 287 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,500 A bribe, so you'll hang out and talk. 288 00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:22,673 If you leave, 289 00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:24,170 I'll have to listen to those NYU kids 290 00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:27,170 with the Amstel Lights discuss Fiona Apple. 291 00:13:27,959 --> 00:13:29,379 I'm begging you. 292 00:13:40,041 --> 00:13:42,461 But they did a little more than talk. 293 00:13:42,542 --> 00:13:44,542 After work they went back to her place, 294 00:13:44,625 --> 00:13:46,075 where Steve, the bartender, 295 00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:48,036 served Miranda two orgasms, 296 00:13:48,125 --> 00:13:49,285 straight up. 297 00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:58,752 So, uh... that was, uh... really special. 298 00:13:59,709 --> 00:14:00,829 Sure... 299 00:14:00,917 --> 00:14:02,377 Is that your shirt over there? 300 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:04,125 Yeah. 301 00:14:07,333 --> 00:14:09,213 So, can I get your phone number? 302 00:14:10,333 --> 00:14:11,423 Why? 303 00:14:11,583 --> 00:14:14,043 To call you up and ask you for a date. 304 00:14:15,041 --> 00:14:16,081 Look... 305 00:14:16,458 --> 00:14:18,748 Steve... "Look, Steve." 306 00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,998 You don't have to do this. 307 00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:23,665 You don't have to make believe you're gonna call. 308 00:14:23,750 --> 00:14:25,290 Let's just call this what this was. 309 00:14:25,375 --> 00:14:26,705 A one night stand. 310 00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:32,130 You're a real pisser. 311 00:14:37,959 --> 00:14:40,459 Stop by the bar, see me sometime. 312 00:14:40,542 --> 00:14:42,582 Sure, okay, whatever. 313 00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,747 Thanks, bye. 314 00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:46,248 Great sex. 315 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,632 Three dinners and two extravagant lunches later, 316 00:14:55,709 --> 00:14:58,209 Ed invited Samantha over to his townhouse. 317 00:14:58,291 --> 00:14:59,421 Up until now, 318 00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:00,920 Samantha would never have believed 319 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,080 she would consider a relationship with an older man. 320 00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:05,786 But, there was something about Ed. 321 00:15:06,875 --> 00:15:08,035 Oh! 322 00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:10,455 Well, how did that get there? 323 00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:13,125 I wonder if... 324 00:15:16,125 --> 00:15:17,575 Oh, oh! 325 00:15:22,667 --> 00:15:25,667 Oh, Ed, no. 326 00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,330 Uh-huh. 327 00:15:39,291 --> 00:15:42,041 After an impressive six course dinner, 328 00:15:42,125 --> 00:15:44,245 Ed put the moves on Samantha. 329 00:15:44,333 --> 00:15:46,713 Ed's moves were from a different dating time. 330 00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:49,422 Moves Samantha had heard of or seen in old movies, 331 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:52,830 but moves she never thought she'd experience firsthand. 332 00:15:53,125 --> 00:15:55,825 I used to groove with these cats in Cuba. 333 00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,883 What's the matter, Ed? 334 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,670 -Can't afford the light bill? 335 00:16:02,750 --> 00:16:05,670 You're fun... A toast to fun. 336 00:16:07,583 --> 00:16:09,083 Mmm. 337 00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:11,833 Oh, what the hell. 338 00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:14,705 I'm gonna lay my cards on the table. 339 00:16:15,834 --> 00:16:16,884 Samantha, 340 00:16:17,875 --> 00:16:20,205 I figure I've only got a handful of good years left. 341 00:16:20,291 --> 00:16:23,171 -Oh, no, Ed... -No, ten to twelve, tops. 342 00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,630 And I'm looking for someone to have some fun with. 343 00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:28,081 Now, I'm aware that a gorgeous woman like you 344 00:16:28,166 --> 00:16:30,456 can get any young man you want. 345 00:16:30,542 --> 00:16:33,922 -Well... -So, I'm willing to make it worth your while. 346 00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:37,713 And speaking of wild, don't worry. 347 00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:42,415 I got a big old pocket full of Viagra. 348 00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:48,460 Why, Ed, that's not Viagra. 349 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:50,999 Samantha was suddenly living 350 00:16:51,083 --> 00:16:53,133 her own urban relationship myth. 351 00:16:53,208 --> 00:16:55,458 The woman who stopped for a cocktail after work 352 00:16:55,542 --> 00:16:57,672 and lived happily ever after. 353 00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,420 For ten to twelve years, tops. 354 00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:03,630 I think in the dark is sexier. 355 00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:06,035 Could you get that light behind you? 356 00:17:06,125 --> 00:17:10,205 -Oh. 357 00:17:10,291 --> 00:17:11,671 In the dark, Samantha learned 358 00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,540 that all cats not only look the same, 359 00:17:13,625 --> 00:17:15,125 but they felt the same. 360 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,748 Ed's lips were not the lips of an older man. 361 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,575 Ed's touch was not the touch of an older man. 362 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,831 Excuse me, baby, little boy's room. 363 00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:29,285 Unfortunately, Ed's ass 364 00:17:29,375 --> 00:17:31,165 was the ass of an older man. 365 00:17:38,375 --> 00:17:40,125 She told him it was a bad reaction 366 00:17:40,208 --> 00:17:42,578 to the shellfish from dinner. 367 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,206 Saturday afternoon, Miranda was at home 368 00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:52,251 enjoying a cup of coffee and her New York Times 369 00:17:52,333 --> 00:17:53,833 when fate came knocking. 370 00:18:02,792 --> 00:18:03,882 Yes? 371 00:18:03,959 --> 00:18:05,249 It's Steve. 372 00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:06,383 Steve who? 373 00:18:06,458 --> 00:18:08,498 Steve Brady, the bartender. 374 00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:10,208 What do you want? 375 00:18:10,291 --> 00:18:12,251 You want your neighbors to hear? 376 00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:20,247 Hey, hi. 377 00:18:20,709 --> 00:18:21,919 Thanks for letting me in. 378 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,880 Did you forget something the other night? 379 00:18:23,959 --> 00:18:25,209 No, I didn't have your number 380 00:18:25,291 --> 00:18:27,501 and I wanted to tell you something. 381 00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:30,000 I like you. 382 00:18:30,834 --> 00:18:33,254 Translation, I think you're an easy lay 383 00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:34,923 and I'd like to have sex again. 384 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,830 No, it's not like that. 385 00:18:38,375 --> 00:18:39,785 Have dinner with me. 386 00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:41,380 Why? 387 00:18:41,834 --> 00:18:45,004 I don't know, because we're hungry. 388 00:18:45,083 --> 00:18:47,543 I can't have dinner with you, I don't even know you. 389 00:18:47,792 --> 00:18:48,962 You slept with me. 390 00:18:49,041 --> 00:18:50,421 It's a different thing. 391 00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:52,540 How about tonight? 392 00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:53,785 No, I have plans. 393 00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:54,955 You don't have plans. 394 00:18:55,041 --> 00:18:56,381 -I have plans. -What plans? 395 00:18:56,458 --> 00:18:57,878 Quick, before you make one up. 396 00:18:57,959 --> 00:19:00,789 I'm meeting my friends downtown at Denial for dinner. 397 00:19:00,875 --> 00:19:02,285 Yeah? My buddy works over there. 398 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,075 I'll meet you for a drink, what time? 399 00:19:04,166 --> 00:19:05,246 Seven. 400 00:19:06,125 --> 00:19:07,325 Okay. 401 00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:13,825 What time are you really meeting them? 402 00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:18,875 Nine. 403 00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:20,997 Mm! 404 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,251 At 8:15, I arrived at Big's. 405 00:19:29,333 --> 00:19:30,753 One quick drink at his place, 406 00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:32,134 and we'd be out the door. 407 00:19:32,208 --> 00:19:33,498 I told myself all day 408 00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:35,713 it was just another dinner with friends. 409 00:19:35,792 --> 00:19:37,332 But, as I stood waiting, 410 00:19:37,417 --> 00:19:39,497 in my new, very favorite dress, 411 00:19:39,583 --> 00:19:41,793 I realized it meant a lot more. 412 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,830 Hey, baby, c'mon in. 413 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,577 Well, you are not properly attired 414 00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:49,417 to meet my friends, mister, now hop to it. 415 00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:52,210 Yeah, about that... uh... 416 00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:55,785 Do you mind if I don't go? 417 00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:58,333 I mean, I've been out all day, 418 00:19:58,417 --> 00:19:59,917 it's gonna rain. 419 00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:03,253 But my friends are expecting you. 420 00:20:03,458 --> 00:20:05,748 Yeah, I know, but they're your friends, and... 421 00:20:06,583 --> 00:20:08,423 they'll be fine with just you. 422 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:10,503 Is it okay? 423 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:13,420 Sure. 424 00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:16,540 I was afraid if I looked up into his eyes, 425 00:20:16,625 --> 00:20:18,285 I'd turn to stone. 426 00:20:23,625 --> 00:20:25,455 How could I have let myself believe 427 00:20:25,542 --> 00:20:28,042 things would be different the second time around? 428 00:20:28,125 --> 00:20:30,375 I've never even heard of an urban relationship myth 429 00:20:30,458 --> 00:20:33,328 in which a self-centered, 42-year-old baby 430 00:20:33,417 --> 00:20:35,497 magically transformed into a grown man 431 00:20:35,583 --> 00:20:37,633 that you could bring out in public. 432 00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:45,383 They won't seat us until all of our party is here. 433 00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:47,328 Oh. -How long do you think Big will be? 434 00:20:47,917 --> 00:20:49,667 I'm not sure, he's coming from work. 435 00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:52,750 I didn't have the strength to tell them about my fallen hero. 436 00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,544 At least not without a cocktail. 437 00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:56,415 I figured as long as I was in denial, 438 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:57,580 I might as well stay there. 439 00:20:57,667 --> 00:20:59,667 Mmm! Look at you. 440 00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,915 Well, if you want good service, send a bartender. 441 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,170 And if you want a good fuck, 442 00:21:04,250 --> 00:21:05,500 go home with one. 443 00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,423 Hello, it was funny! 444 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,460 Miranda, can I talk to you over there? 445 00:21:12,542 --> 00:21:13,792 For a second. 446 00:21:13,875 --> 00:21:16,825 The Gods are punishing me for having casual sex. 447 00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:22,625 Oof. 448 00:21:24,667 --> 00:21:25,747 Thank you. 449 00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:27,544 One quick question and I'm out of here. 450 00:21:27,625 --> 00:21:30,245 Why do you hate guys so much? 451 00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:31,423 Excuse me? 452 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:32,500 We just met, 453 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:34,963 so I know that ain't all about me. 454 00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:36,378 Wait, wait, wait! 455 00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:38,168 What, what do you want? 456 00:21:38,250 --> 00:21:40,210 I just wanna get to know you better. 457 00:21:41,375 --> 00:21:43,205 Do me a favor, 458 00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:44,962 can you, for one second, 459 00:21:45,041 --> 00:21:48,541 believe that maybe I'm not some full of shit guy? 460 00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:50,580 That maybe I do like you? 461 00:21:50,875 --> 00:21:53,035 That maybe the other night was special? 462 00:21:53,458 --> 00:21:55,628 Do you think that maybe you can believe that? 463 00:21:55,709 --> 00:21:56,959 No. 464 00:21:57,041 --> 00:21:59,751 Maybe I've just slept with too many bartenders. 465 00:22:04,875 --> 00:22:06,285 Are you okay? 466 00:22:06,375 --> 00:22:08,035 I don't wanna talk about it. 467 00:22:10,041 --> 00:22:13,041 Nice meeting you all, excuse me. 468 00:22:19,291 --> 00:22:21,461 Guys, maybe we should just get a table for us four. 469 00:22:21,542 --> 00:22:23,752 I knew it, Big's not coming. 470 00:22:24,667 --> 00:22:25,747 Men are shit. 471 00:22:25,834 --> 00:22:27,214 Miranda, what are you talking about? 472 00:22:27,291 --> 00:22:28,671 He's coming, isn't he? 473 00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:30,170 I didn't know if I had the heart 474 00:22:30,250 --> 00:22:32,500 to tell me Charlotte that happily ever after 475 00:22:32,583 --> 00:22:34,423 really was just a myth. 476 00:22:36,125 --> 00:22:37,955 See, there he is! 477 00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:52,960 -Hey... whoa! -Hey. 478 00:22:53,041 --> 00:22:55,501 Boy, it's really coming down out there. 479 00:22:55,583 --> 00:22:57,383 You remember my friends? 480 00:22:57,458 --> 00:22:58,538 Of course, I do. 481 00:22:58,625 --> 00:22:59,875 -Hello, ladies. -Hello. 482 00:22:59,959 --> 00:23:01,539 Seeing Big show up for me like that 483 00:23:01,625 --> 00:23:03,575 shook Miranda's lack of belief system 484 00:23:03,667 --> 00:23:05,037 to the very core. 485 00:23:05,125 --> 00:23:06,825 Excuse me. 486 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,420 More drinks? 487 00:23:09,500 --> 00:23:12,130 And just like that, Miranda left denial. 488 00:23:14,208 --> 00:23:17,628 Steve! 489 00:23:22,417 --> 00:23:24,127 Maybe I can believe it. 490 00:23:29,458 --> 00:23:30,878 From that night on, 491 00:23:30,959 --> 00:23:33,129 promiscuous women everywhere would tell the tale 492 00:23:33,208 --> 00:23:34,538 of the one night stand 493 00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:37,165 that turned into a relationship. 494 00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:39,080 And as for Big and me... 495 00:23:39,166 --> 00:23:40,786 So, Samantha, tell me... 496 00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:43,500 Did you ever get it on with that old coot? 497 00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:48,375 That was the night we stopped being a myth 498 00:23:48,458 --> 00:23:50,828 and started becoming real.