1 00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,080 [Carrie] They say that the women in New York 2 00:00:59,166 --> 00:01:01,626 are the most beautiful women in the world. 3 00:01:06,542 --> 00:01:08,212 Which explains why men in New York 4 00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:11,041 spend all their time looking at them. 5 00:01:11,125 --> 00:01:14,785 The city is a veritable playground for men's roving eyes. 6 00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:16,705 Unfortunately, they need both of them 7 00:01:16,792 --> 00:01:18,712 looking straight ahead to survive. 8 00:01:18,792 --> 00:01:19,672 [honking] 9 00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:21,750 Oh... hey! 10 00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:24,254 [Carrie] This New York woman was pretty happy. 11 00:01:24,333 --> 00:01:25,753 I was seeing Big again. 12 00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:28,254 Unfortunately, my New York guy 13 00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:30,293 was still seeing other women. 14 00:01:32,667 --> 00:01:34,747 If checking out other women is the biggest problem 15 00:01:34,834 --> 00:01:36,294 you're having with him, you're lucky. 16 00:01:36,375 --> 00:01:38,125 Well, if it's that small, he should be able to stop. 17 00:01:38,208 --> 00:01:40,038 Oh, honey, you can't change that about a man. 18 00:01:40,125 --> 00:01:42,705 It's part of their genetic code, like farting. 19 00:01:42,792 --> 00:01:44,462 Oh, please, you're gonna put me off my pretzel. 20 00:01:44,542 --> 00:01:46,042 You have to take Big the way he is. 21 00:01:46,125 --> 00:01:48,415 Once you start to try to change a man, it's doomed, 22 00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:49,420 they won't budge an inch. 23 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,170 Well, I know, but you can... 24 00:01:51,458 --> 00:01:52,918 subtly manipulate and cajole. 25 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,000 The only things you can work with are hair and wardrobe, 26 00:01:55,083 --> 00:01:56,833 but even then, it's a constant battle. 27 00:01:56,917 --> 00:01:58,497 I already like the hair and wardrobe. 28 00:01:58,583 --> 00:01:59,423 Then be happy. 29 00:01:59,500 --> 00:02:01,750 Honey, no man is perfect. 30 00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:04,674 I'm not asking for perfection, I'm just looking for, uh... 31 00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,037 slight alterations. 32 00:02:06,125 --> 00:02:07,875 Oh, be careful with alterations. 33 00:02:07,959 --> 00:02:11,209 If you pull the wrong thread, everything falls apart. 34 00:02:11,291 --> 00:02:14,041 [Carrie] While Samantha and I discussed the theory of change, 35 00:02:14,125 --> 00:02:15,995 Miranda was going through it for real. 36 00:02:16,083 --> 00:02:18,543 She had a new apartment, a new boyfriend... 37 00:02:18,625 --> 00:02:19,955 [doorbell] 38 00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:22,331 And a new dating schedule that was killing her. 39 00:02:29,125 --> 00:02:30,955 Hey, I'm sorry. 40 00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:33,381 I thought we'd be closing the bar earlier. 41 00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:36,038 Oh, jeez, you were asleep. 42 00:02:36,125 --> 00:02:37,875 No, no, I'm up, hi. 43 00:02:39,667 --> 00:02:40,667 Come on in. 44 00:02:41,208 --> 00:02:42,578 -Ow! Ow! -Oh! 45 00:02:42,667 --> 00:02:44,377 -Come here, you okay? -Ow, ow. 46 00:02:45,333 --> 00:02:47,213 -Let's see. -Ah! 47 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:48,750 Ow! 48 00:02:51,333 --> 00:02:52,423 Is that better? 49 00:02:52,500 --> 00:02:54,290 That's better, thank you. 50 00:02:54,917 --> 00:02:56,247 So, how was your night? 51 00:02:57,917 --> 00:03:00,457 I don't know, I was asleep. 52 00:03:00,875 --> 00:03:02,415 I'm sorry I was late. 53 00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:09,249 I thought we were gonna close the bar around two. 54 00:03:09,333 --> 00:03:12,753 Then we got this big group of Japanese bankers came in. 55 00:03:12,834 --> 00:03:15,504 And all they want is these big flaming drinks. 56 00:03:15,583 --> 00:03:17,713 And then one of them got sick and then... 57 00:03:17,917 --> 00:03:20,037 [snoring] 58 00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:28,460 Never mind. 59 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,962 [Carrie] Everything was great about Steve, except for one thing. 60 00:03:32,041 --> 00:03:35,291 -[alarm clock] -Mmm! Mmm! 61 00:03:35,834 --> 00:03:40,294 Morning. 62 00:03:41,458 --> 00:03:42,628 Come here! 63 00:03:42,709 --> 00:03:44,379 -Uh-- -Come here, come here, come here. 64 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:47,038 [Carrie] They had completely opposite schedules. 65 00:03:47,125 --> 00:03:49,575 Steve had all the time in the world in the mornings. 66 00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:51,207 Miranda got right up at seven. 67 00:03:51,291 --> 00:03:53,331 Unfortunately, Steve did too. 68 00:03:53,417 --> 00:03:54,627 I have to go to work. 69 00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:56,424 Not yet. 70 00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:58,540 [Carrie] The only thing Miranda liked inside her in the mornings 71 00:03:58,625 --> 00:04:02,575 was the cup of take-out coffee she drank on the way to the subway. 72 00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:04,877 That night, in a bed across town, 73 00:04:04,959 --> 00:04:06,879 Charlotte was seeing a lot of Mike, 74 00:04:06,959 --> 00:04:08,829 a cute but feared restaurant critic 75 00:04:08,917 --> 00:04:11,997 famous for his patented five-whisk rating system. 76 00:04:12,542 --> 00:04:13,632 Mike? 77 00:04:13,834 --> 00:04:14,834 Yeah? 78 00:04:15,583 --> 00:04:16,673 Let's make love. 79 00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:18,246 Charlotte... 80 00:04:18,333 --> 00:04:20,673 Charlotte, you are a five-whisk woman. 81 00:04:20,750 --> 00:04:24,040 [Carrie] But just when Charlotte had become comfortable with the penis, 82 00:04:24,125 --> 00:04:26,785 she got a very unexpected surprise. 83 00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:29,670 Oh... 84 00:04:30,166 --> 00:04:31,326 You're... 85 00:04:32,208 --> 00:04:33,168 It's... 86 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:35,671 Uncircumcised. 87 00:04:35,917 --> 00:04:36,917 Is that okay? 88 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,000 No! 89 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:39,540 Sure. 90 00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:43,083 Of course, it is. 91 00:04:43,166 --> 00:04:44,916 [Carrie] It was not okay. 92 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,460 The only uncut version of anything Charlotte had ever seen 93 00:04:47,542 --> 00:04:49,502 was the original Gone With The Wind. 94 00:04:50,792 --> 00:04:52,292 There was so much skin, 95 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,665 it was like a Shar Pei! 96 00:04:53,750 --> 00:04:55,670 You've never seen an uncircumcised one? 97 00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:57,000 I'm from Connecticut! 98 00:04:57,083 --> 00:04:59,633 Reminder, you're dating the guy, not the penis. 99 00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:01,329 Aesthetics are important to me. 100 00:05:01,417 --> 00:05:04,327 It's not what it looks like, it's what they can do with it. 101 00:05:04,542 --> 00:05:07,292 Well, I don't need one that can make its own carrying case! 102 00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:09,245 -Ha, ha, ha, ha! -Personally... 103 00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:11,543 I love an uncircumcised dick. 104 00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:13,075 It's like a tootsie pop. 105 00:05:13,375 --> 00:05:14,915 Hard on the outside, 106 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,250 with a delicious surprise inside. 107 00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:18,583 I don't like surprises. 108 00:05:18,667 --> 00:05:20,787 I like it all out there where I can see it. 109 00:05:20,875 --> 00:05:22,915 Same here, I'm sorry, it is not normal. 110 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,290 Well, actually, it is. Something like 85% of men aren't circumcised. 111 00:05:26,375 --> 00:05:28,165 Great, now they're taking over the world! 112 00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,040 Honey, it's a penis, not Godzilla. 113 00:05:30,125 --> 00:05:33,165 Hey, if 85% aren't circumcised, 114 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:37,080 that means I've only slept with 15% of the population, tops! 115 00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:38,536 Wow, you're practically a virgin. 116 00:05:38,625 --> 00:05:41,625 You know, he's a nice, waspy guy. What went wrong? 117 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:44,499 Well, maybe his parents were hippies and they just didn't believe in it. 118 00:05:44,583 --> 00:05:47,003 I am so circumcising my kids. 119 00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:49,173 I think you can pay people to do that now. 120 00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,630 I don't ever wanna know there's a woman out there 121 00:05:51,709 --> 00:05:53,669 calling my son a Shar Pei. 122 00:05:53,750 --> 00:05:56,500 All I'm saying is uncut men are the best. 123 00:05:56,583 --> 00:05:57,883 They try harder. 124 00:05:58,166 --> 00:05:59,246 I should know. 125 00:05:59,333 --> 00:06:01,083 I've slept with five of them. 126 00:06:01,417 --> 00:06:02,497 Out of how many? 127 00:06:02,583 --> 00:06:03,633 Infinity. 128 00:06:04,917 --> 00:06:06,167 [Carrie] That night, 129 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:08,080 Big and I went out to celebrate... 130 00:06:08,166 --> 00:06:09,916 absolutely nothing. 131 00:06:10,583 --> 00:06:12,003 More grappa ? 132 00:06:12,083 --> 00:06:13,423 No, thank you. 133 00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:17,827 Oh, listen, my editor called me today and she's... 134 00:06:20,291 --> 00:06:21,291 Hm? 135 00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:23,381 You were saying? 136 00:06:23,458 --> 00:06:24,828 Yes, I was. 137 00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:28,461 Excuse me, you can't smoke that in here. 138 00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:30,667 Really? 139 00:06:30,875 --> 00:06:33,125 You're absolutely positively sure about that? 140 00:06:33,583 --> 00:06:34,793 Because, 141 00:06:34,875 --> 00:06:36,875 I checked the zoning on this particular table, 142 00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:40,206 and I'm pretty sure this table is in a cigar-friendly zone. 143 00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:43,131 Well, I don't mind, but it's for the other patrons. 144 00:06:44,750 --> 00:06:48,630 Oh, you mean, if those five patrons don't mind, it's okay with you? 145 00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,789 -Sir, I'm gonna have to... -Just one second. 146 00:06:52,834 --> 00:06:55,674 Excuse me, this is my last day on earth. 147 00:06:56,125 --> 00:06:58,495 I'm being executed tomorrow morning. 148 00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:00,789 Um, that's my parole officer there. 149 00:07:00,875 --> 00:07:03,245 Would you mind terribly if I smoked this, ladies? 150 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:04,333 No. 151 00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:06,004 Thank you. 152 00:07:07,166 --> 00:07:08,376 Excuse me, I'm sorry. 153 00:07:08,458 --> 00:07:09,998 Would it be okay if I smoked this? 154 00:07:10,083 --> 00:07:12,333 And, please, let me preface this by saying: 155 00:07:12,417 --> 00:07:14,877 I'd like to buy everybody a round of drinks. 156 00:07:15,750 --> 00:07:17,630 [clapping] 157 00:07:18,458 --> 00:07:19,378 Apparently, 158 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:22,417 the other patrons aren't bothered at all. 159 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,750 [Carrie] I didn't have the guts to tell Big that he was actually 160 00:07:24,834 --> 00:07:26,214 kind of bothering me. 161 00:07:26,291 --> 00:07:27,831 Well, it's not like they're gonna tell you the truth. 162 00:07:27,917 --> 00:07:30,627 No one is gonna say to your face they hate your cigar. 163 00:07:31,041 --> 00:07:32,001 Good. 164 00:07:32,709 --> 00:07:35,379 You are very arrogant. 165 00:07:37,542 --> 00:07:39,382 I thought that's what you liked about me. 166 00:07:40,709 --> 00:07:42,499 [Carrie] Maybe Big was right. 167 00:07:42,583 --> 00:07:45,173 Maybe we were at that inevitable point in the relationship 168 00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:48,670 when all those little things you love about the other person become... 169 00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:50,380 huge liabilities. 170 00:07:50,458 --> 00:07:51,458 And just then... 171 00:07:51,542 --> 00:07:52,502 [door slams] 172 00:07:52,583 --> 00:07:54,583 ...a huge liability walked by. 173 00:07:57,709 --> 00:07:58,709 Hey! 174 00:07:59,291 --> 00:08:00,331 What? 175 00:08:00,959 --> 00:08:02,079 I... 176 00:08:02,709 --> 00:08:05,039 I... hate that cigar. 177 00:08:10,583 --> 00:08:12,583 And you told me right to my face. 178 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,420 [Carrie] New York City is all about change. 179 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,000 New yorkers change their haircuts, their politics, 180 00:08:22,083 --> 00:08:24,213 even their friends in the blink of an eye. 181 00:08:24,291 --> 00:08:27,711 If change was so easy, why was it so hard for Big? 182 00:08:28,917 --> 00:08:30,537 Was I banging my head against the wall 183 00:08:30,625 --> 00:08:33,285 thinking I could get him to stop and notice me? 184 00:08:33,375 --> 00:08:36,915 Did I have to change my expectations, or was it possible... 185 00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:39,827 Can you change a man? 186 00:08:40,250 --> 00:08:42,670 My husband used to be obsessed with watching sports 187 00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:44,170 twenty-four hours a day. 188 00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:46,878 Then I started fooling around with his best friend. 189 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,420 And now he's obsessed with watching me. 190 00:08:49,500 --> 00:08:51,880 Every girlfriend I've had wants me to change something. 191 00:08:51,959 --> 00:08:54,999 Change your job, change your friends, change your attitude. 192 00:08:55,417 --> 00:08:56,917 The only thing I ever change... 193 00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:58,540 is girlfriends. 194 00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:03,711 No. 195 00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:05,212 [Carrie] Meanwhile, Charlotte was about to discover 196 00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:06,881 that some men can change. 197 00:09:06,959 --> 00:09:09,289 Thanks for dinner, it was great. 198 00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:14,752 So, uh... 199 00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:18,745 -Can I come upstairs with you? -Oh, jeez, uh... 200 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,495 I have to get up really early, 201 00:09:20,583 --> 00:09:22,833 -and my place is just a mess. -Look, Charlotte, I... 202 00:09:23,166 --> 00:09:24,206 I understand. 203 00:09:24,291 --> 00:09:25,881 -You do? -Yeah, I mean... 204 00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:28,285 What happened the other night, you're... 205 00:09:28,625 --> 00:09:30,745 you're not the first woman to react to it that way. 206 00:09:30,834 --> 00:09:32,544 I've gotten that most of my life. 207 00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:33,745 -Really? -Yeah. 208 00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,964 And I've decided to do something about it. 209 00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:38,460 I've been uncomfortable for too long, so... 210 00:09:39,250 --> 00:09:40,920 I'm getting circumcised. 211 00:09:45,709 --> 00:09:47,039 Can you do that? 212 00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:48,535 Well, yeah, I mean, it hurts, 213 00:09:48,625 --> 00:09:50,535 it takes a long time to heal, but... 214 00:09:50,792 --> 00:09:52,332 But I'm willing to do that, I... 215 00:09:52,667 --> 00:09:54,577 I want to feel good about making love. 216 00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:56,327 Oh, that is so... 217 00:09:56,834 --> 00:09:58,134 sweet. 218 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,710 -Do you mind waiting? -Oh, no. 219 00:10:00,792 --> 00:10:01,962 Not at all. 220 00:10:03,083 --> 00:10:04,333 [Charlotte] Mm. 221 00:10:12,583 --> 00:10:15,253 [Carrie] Apparently, Samantha was wrong. 222 00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:17,463 Some men could budge an inch. 223 00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:20,252 In Mike's case, it may have been more like, 224 00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:23,083 an inch and a half. 225 00:10:23,166 --> 00:10:27,166 The next morning, Miranda was getting her usual wake-up call. 226 00:10:32,166 --> 00:10:33,666 [sighs] 227 00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:35,173 Mm... 228 00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,630 [sighs] Hey, where are you going? 229 00:10:37,709 --> 00:10:38,709 [giggles] 230 00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:40,327 I'm getting up. 231 00:10:40,417 --> 00:10:42,877 Ah, come on, it's Saturday. Come on, lay down, slow down. 232 00:10:42,959 --> 00:10:43,999 Come here. 233 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:46,920 [sighs] 234 00:10:47,959 --> 00:10:49,669 How long are we gonna do this? 235 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:50,830 [scoffs] 236 00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:54,667 You want a time frame for cuddling? 237 00:10:54,917 --> 00:10:55,787 Yeah. 238 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,035 Like 20 minutes? 239 00:10:57,834 --> 00:10:59,004 Thirty? 240 00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:00,915 You're kidding me. 241 00:11:01,375 --> 00:11:03,995 It helps if I have an end point in mind. 242 00:11:04,083 --> 00:11:05,503 I respond well to limits. 243 00:11:05,583 --> 00:11:07,833 That's your problem, you got too many limits. 244 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,167 You gotta let go a little, Miranda. 245 00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,330 Look... 246 00:11:11,709 --> 00:11:13,329 Saturday is my free day, right? 247 00:11:13,417 --> 00:11:15,957 I have spinning, and then I get my dry cleaning, 248 00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:17,291 and then I get my nails done, 249 00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:19,245 and I do my grocery shopping for the week. 250 00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:20,538 -Okay? -[laughs] Okay. 251 00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:22,075 You're not sounding very free to me. 252 00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:27,333 Do you want to come with me 253 00:11:27,417 --> 00:11:28,747 and get my dry cleaning? 254 00:11:29,417 --> 00:11:31,247 No, I didn't think so. 255 00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:39,793 An hour and a half, tops. 256 00:11:41,208 --> 00:11:43,788 [Carrie] Twelve hours later, Steve went to work. 257 00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:48,375 About the same time, we went out to our favorite bar 258 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:51,918 which on Saturdays, changes into drag queen bingo. 259 00:11:52,583 --> 00:11:54,503 Come on, come on, N-23. 260 00:11:54,583 --> 00:11:55,673 I really like him. 261 00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,750 But this morning thing is killing me. 262 00:11:57,834 --> 00:12:00,044 It's bad enough we've never done it at night, 263 00:12:00,125 --> 00:12:01,245 but after we do it in the morning, 264 00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:02,883 he just wants to lie there with me. 265 00:12:02,959 --> 00:12:05,499 Everyone wants a guy who wants to cuddle. 266 00:12:05,834 --> 00:12:07,964 O-33, ladies. 267 00:12:08,041 --> 00:12:09,001 Shit! 268 00:12:09,083 --> 00:12:10,383 Well, I'm jealous. 269 00:12:10,458 --> 00:12:12,378 Big won't even spend the night at my place. 270 00:12:12,625 --> 00:12:14,535 You know, what you have is real intimacy. 271 00:12:14,625 --> 00:12:15,785 It's bed-arrest. 272 00:12:15,959 --> 00:12:17,419 I've been horizontal all day, 273 00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:20,000 and I had errands to do, I missed spinning. 274 00:12:20,083 --> 00:12:22,793 You don't have to spin if you're having sex. 275 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,245 B-12! 276 00:12:24,333 --> 00:12:26,423 How about N-23? 277 00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:28,130 I don't know why I play this, I never win. 278 00:12:28,208 --> 00:12:31,128 Why do I have to be the one to change my routine? 279 00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:32,918 Well, maybe because you really like the guy 280 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,920 and it wouldn't kill you to slow down a little. 281 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,580 No, Miranda's right. 282 00:12:36,667 --> 00:12:39,417 Why is it the woman that always has to change and never the guy? 283 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,250 Because we are more adaptable. 284 00:12:41,333 --> 00:12:42,633 I love morning sex. 285 00:12:42,709 --> 00:12:44,709 I haven't done morning sex since I was in college 286 00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:46,752 and then it was only because I didn't have to be in class 287 00:12:46,834 --> 00:12:47,834 until eleven. 288 00:12:47,917 --> 00:12:48,917 Well, maybe you guys should come up 289 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,080 with a schedule or something. 290 00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:51,416 A sex schedule? 291 00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:52,420 Very romantic! 292 00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:53,790 Yeah, surprise him at the bar 293 00:12:53,875 --> 00:12:56,075 wearing nothing but a trench coat and a smile. 294 00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,666 Now, that would be a happy hour. 295 00:12:57,750 --> 00:12:59,380 -[laughter] -[drag queen] O-69! 296 00:12:59,458 --> 00:13:01,708 I just think that if you really believe in the relationship 297 00:13:01,792 --> 00:13:03,132 then you should work at it. 298 00:13:03,208 --> 00:13:05,918 This, from a woman who dumped a guy over foreskin. 299 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,540 Actually, we're still dating. 300 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,170 The Shar Pei? 301 00:13:09,458 --> 00:13:10,998 He's getting circumcised. 302 00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:15,791 Please tell me that we're not invited to the bris. 303 00:13:15,875 --> 00:13:17,455 [laughs] 304 00:13:17,709 --> 00:13:20,249 Could I get another board, please? 305 00:13:21,709 --> 00:13:22,749 Samantha? 306 00:13:23,041 --> 00:13:23,961 Yes. 307 00:13:24,041 --> 00:13:25,211 It's me. 308 00:13:25,417 --> 00:13:26,497 Brad. 309 00:13:27,750 --> 00:13:29,040 Brad McColskey? 310 00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:31,245 [Carrie] Brad was a semi-professional hockey player 311 00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:33,293 Samantha had dated a few years back. 312 00:13:33,375 --> 00:13:36,665 Apparently, the only thing he was checking these days were his pants... 313 00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:37,830 at the door. 314 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:40,877 Look at you, miss thing, you look fabulous! 315 00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:43,875 Oh, wow, well, so do you. 316 00:13:44,208 --> 00:13:46,038 Uh... When did you start doing... Doing...? 317 00:13:46,125 --> 00:13:48,535 Oh! About five years ago. 318 00:13:48,792 --> 00:13:50,382 Right after you. 319 00:13:51,375 --> 00:13:52,825 [Carrie] Maybe Samantha was wrong. 320 00:13:52,917 --> 00:13:55,207 Apparently, she could change a man. 321 00:13:55,291 --> 00:13:56,331 How are the kids? 322 00:13:56,417 --> 00:13:57,827 Oh, good, good, Jake is in second grade. 323 00:13:57,917 --> 00:13:59,627 Jake has two mommies. 324 00:13:59,917 --> 00:14:03,077 There are other people who need boards, Samantha. 325 00:14:03,166 --> 00:14:05,286 Take a chill pill, Miss Saigon! 326 00:14:05,375 --> 00:14:06,745 Samantha? 327 00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:11,540 Well, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. 328 00:14:13,041 --> 00:14:14,421 Gotta go, enjoy the game! 329 00:14:16,166 --> 00:14:17,746 N-23! 330 00:14:18,041 --> 00:14:19,131 Bingo! 331 00:14:19,208 --> 00:14:21,748 I am so much prettier than him. 332 00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:28,081 [Carrie] Two hours later, I was supposed to meet Big at his place. 333 00:14:29,417 --> 00:14:31,077 Two and a half hours later, 334 00:14:31,166 --> 00:14:32,286 he showed up. 335 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,080 Hey! 336 00:14:36,500 --> 00:14:37,500 Sorry. 337 00:14:37,917 --> 00:14:39,327 You're a half hour late. 338 00:14:39,792 --> 00:14:41,502 Your doorman thinks I'm a hooker. 339 00:14:41,959 --> 00:14:45,379 -Did you make any money? -Not funny. I hate waiting, 340 00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:47,288 here, for you. 341 00:14:47,875 --> 00:14:50,075 There's a coffee shop, around the corner, 342 00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:51,956 you could've waited, in. 343 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:53,825 You know what? I'm gonna go. 344 00:14:53,917 --> 00:14:55,957 -Oh, don't be pissed. -I'm pissed! 345 00:14:56,041 --> 00:14:57,081 Well... 346 00:14:57,667 --> 00:14:59,037 Come upstairs. 347 00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:01,285 You know, if you gave me a key, 348 00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:03,285 I could wait upstairs next time. 349 00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:05,126 A key? 350 00:15:06,458 --> 00:15:08,418 Or you can stay at my place sometimes. 351 00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:10,040 It's easy to pick my locks. 352 00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:11,205 Yeah... 353 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,170 But then, I like my bed. 354 00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:16,293 Look at that service. 355 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:19,293 Come on. 356 00:15:22,375 --> 00:15:24,665 [Carrie] That night, something else changed. 357 00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:27,420 Neither of us wanted to make love. 358 00:15:27,500 --> 00:15:31,920 If this was all I was ever gonna get out of Big, was it enough for me? 359 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,750 And then, at 3:00 a.m., somewhere between sleep and waking, 360 00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:37,174 I got my answer. 361 00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:39,629 -Ow, dammit! -What? 362 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,380 Huh? Carrie? 363 00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:43,078 Ah! Are you all right? 364 00:15:43,166 --> 00:15:44,166 No! 365 00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:45,790 What the fuck? 366 00:15:45,875 --> 00:15:47,325 Oh, my God! 367 00:15:48,125 --> 00:15:49,495 What the hell was that? 368 00:15:49,583 --> 00:15:51,083 You knocked me out of bed! 369 00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:52,746 You didn't even know I was here! 370 00:15:52,834 --> 00:15:56,754 Well, I do now. Why don't you break my arm the next time? 371 00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:57,884 I'm sorry. 372 00:15:57,959 --> 00:15:59,379 Jesus! 373 00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:01,916 God. All right, Sugar Ray. 374 00:16:02,458 --> 00:16:04,628 -The bed's all yours. -Where are you going? 375 00:16:04,709 --> 00:16:05,919 I'm gonna sleep on the couch. 376 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,710 Well, wait! Would you just let me explain? 377 00:16:07,792 --> 00:16:09,132 Don't talk now... 378 00:16:09,208 --> 00:16:10,998 Bad, to talk now. 379 00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:12,785 [sighs] 380 00:16:12,875 --> 00:16:14,535 [Carrie] But I couldn't sleep. 381 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:17,825 And at 4:00 a.m., I decided he couldn't sleep, either. 382 00:16:26,208 --> 00:16:28,038 It's ice for your face. 383 00:16:29,250 --> 00:16:31,380 Yes, I can feel that. 384 00:16:34,834 --> 00:16:37,424 Okay, I know I've lost a little of my power here, 385 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:40,040 and I'm pretty sure that most women's magazines 386 00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:43,875 would say that what I just did was a very bad idea. 387 00:16:44,709 --> 00:16:45,829 But... 388 00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:47,667 The thing is, the other night... 389 00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,710 wasn't just about the cigar. 390 00:16:50,291 --> 00:16:51,921 It never is. 391 00:16:53,375 --> 00:16:55,325 I hate that you look at other women. 392 00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:57,497 I hate that I don't have a key to your place. 393 00:16:57,583 --> 00:17:00,633 You've never spent the night at my place. You can't even make... 394 00:17:00,959 --> 00:17:02,919 space for me in your bed. 395 00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:06,253 And it's not your fault because I never say it. 396 00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:10,080 So, now I punched you, so, now I have to say it. 397 00:17:11,458 --> 00:17:13,248 So, now I'm gonna say it. 398 00:17:18,750 --> 00:17:20,250 I feel like, 399 00:17:20,583 --> 00:17:22,043 I'm back in your life, 400 00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:25,207 and nothing has really changed. 401 00:17:25,291 --> 00:17:26,711 And I know that you can't change a man, 402 00:17:26,792 --> 00:17:30,002 and you definitely can't change a man like you, but, 403 00:17:32,625 --> 00:17:33,915 I still want... 404 00:17:34,959 --> 00:17:38,169 something to change, a little bit, 405 00:17:39,291 --> 00:17:40,331 for me. 406 00:17:41,125 --> 00:17:44,455 Physical violence is never the answer. 407 00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:46,130 Yeah. 408 00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:49,329 I'm gonna go. 409 00:17:49,417 --> 00:17:50,417 [groans] 410 00:17:51,458 --> 00:17:53,458 -Does it hurt? -Yes. 411 00:17:57,875 --> 00:17:58,785 Look, 412 00:17:59,250 --> 00:18:02,420 I'm sure there are things you don't like about me. 413 00:18:02,667 --> 00:18:04,787 Not falling for that one. 414 00:18:07,583 --> 00:18:10,293 [Carrie] Well, that was one thing I liked about Big. 415 00:18:10,375 --> 00:18:12,325 He definitely knew when to shut up. 416 00:18:14,583 --> 00:18:16,633 The next night, Charlotte took Mike out 417 00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:18,749 for a postoperative scotch. 418 00:18:18,834 --> 00:18:20,674 So, did it hurt? 419 00:18:21,417 --> 00:18:23,997 On a scale of one to five, I'd give it a... 420 00:18:24,291 --> 00:18:25,331 -Seventy-two? -Ah! 421 00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:27,707 -You poor thing! -Oh, that's alright. 422 00:18:27,917 --> 00:18:29,417 The worst is over, now I just... 423 00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:31,792 accept sympathy and heal. 424 00:18:32,166 --> 00:18:33,206 For how long? 425 00:18:33,291 --> 00:18:34,791 About another week or so. 426 00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:36,035 I can't wait. 427 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,040 Me either. 428 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,290 Oh, God, Charlotte, 429 00:18:40,625 --> 00:18:42,125 you really turn me on. 430 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,745 -Ow, ow, ow, ow! -Oh! 431 00:18:50,834 --> 00:18:52,424 You know, you really... You should go. 432 00:18:57,291 --> 00:18:58,881 [Carrie] Much later that night, 433 00:18:58,959 --> 00:19:00,419 bolstered by coffee, 434 00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:03,880 Miranda decided to perform a 2:00 a.m. seduction. 435 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:11,460 Hello. 436 00:19:11,542 --> 00:19:13,922 Wow, look at you, you look great! 437 00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:15,461 What's the occasion? 438 00:19:15,542 --> 00:19:18,132 It's 2:00 a.m. and I am still awake. 439 00:19:18,208 --> 00:19:19,628 I thought we could celebrate. 440 00:19:19,709 --> 00:19:21,709 I've had five cups of coffee. 441 00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:23,540 That's worth a party. 442 00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,535 Meet me in the bedroom, I'll get the wine. 443 00:19:39,792 --> 00:19:41,382 Hey, get up. 444 00:19:41,917 --> 00:19:43,207 What? 445 00:19:43,291 --> 00:19:45,131 I think you should spend the night at your place tonight. 446 00:19:45,667 --> 00:19:46,667 Why? 447 00:19:47,041 --> 00:19:49,381 Because I'd really like to catch up on my sleep, 448 00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:51,328 and I really don't want to worry about 449 00:19:51,417 --> 00:19:52,827 having sex with you in the morning, 450 00:19:52,917 --> 00:19:55,577 and then just lying there and being late. 451 00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,172 You don't like having sex with me. 452 00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:00,750 No, I do, I love it. 453 00:20:00,834 --> 00:20:02,834 But just once I would like to do it at night, 454 00:20:02,917 --> 00:20:04,377 like other normal Homo sapiens. 455 00:20:04,458 --> 00:20:06,538 Hey, relax! We can have sex now. 456 00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:08,075 We can't have sex now! 457 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:11,455 I had a window, and it happened half an hour ago! 458 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:12,830 You had a window for sex? 459 00:20:12,917 --> 00:20:15,207 I'm sorry, I'm a lawyer, I get tired. 460 00:20:15,583 --> 00:20:17,043 Yeah, well, I'm a bartender, 461 00:20:17,125 --> 00:20:18,245 and I get awfully tired 462 00:20:18,333 --> 00:20:20,133 of dealing with other people's neuroses. 463 00:20:21,917 --> 00:20:23,287 When you get, uh... 464 00:20:23,792 --> 00:20:25,132 Get, you know, a... 465 00:20:25,917 --> 00:20:29,127 a picture window or a whole doorway of time, 466 00:20:30,959 --> 00:20:31,959 call me. 467 00:20:35,542 --> 00:20:38,712 [Carrie] Miranda had never felt less like a successful lawyer 468 00:20:38,792 --> 00:20:39,832 in her life. 469 00:20:41,083 --> 00:20:43,043 Even though she'd won her case, 470 00:20:43,125 --> 00:20:45,575 she'd also been left with all the damages. 471 00:20:46,750 --> 00:20:49,540 A week later, Charlotte finally got her chance 472 00:20:49,625 --> 00:20:51,495 to break in the new merchandise. 473 00:20:53,917 --> 00:20:54,997 What do you think? 474 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,670 It's perfect. 475 00:20:57,750 --> 00:21:00,670 [Carrie] It was like her birthday and Christmas rolled into one. 476 00:21:00,959 --> 00:21:02,999 You realize this makes me a virgin. 477 00:21:05,375 --> 00:21:06,705 I'll be gentle. 478 00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,330 That was really wonderful. 479 00:21:17,667 --> 00:21:18,667 It was. 480 00:21:18,917 --> 00:21:19,957 A five. 481 00:21:23,625 --> 00:21:25,325 So, what do you want to do Saturday night? 482 00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:27,126 Saturday? 483 00:21:27,333 --> 00:21:28,463 Did we have plans? 484 00:21:28,834 --> 00:21:30,044 No, but... 485 00:21:30,333 --> 00:21:32,793 I thought maybe we could go to this drama league benefit, 486 00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:34,745 or we could... you know, 487 00:21:35,208 --> 00:21:37,628 go low-key and stay in and rent videos. 488 00:21:37,709 --> 00:21:38,709 Oh, Charlotte, 489 00:21:39,083 --> 00:21:40,213 hang on, listen. 490 00:21:41,458 --> 00:21:43,538 I don't think I'm ready for this to be... 491 00:21:44,083 --> 00:21:45,423 you know, like a big thing. 492 00:21:47,834 --> 00:21:48,964 A big thing? 493 00:21:49,333 --> 00:21:52,883 Well, I... I just feel like I can't be tied down right now. 494 00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:55,174 There's a whole new me happening. 495 00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:57,540 I feel like I should get out there and share it. 496 00:21:59,709 --> 00:22:01,669 You want to share your penis? 497 00:22:02,291 --> 00:22:03,251 Well... 498 00:22:04,375 --> 00:22:05,375 Yeah. 499 00:22:06,417 --> 00:22:08,457 I mean, I feel like I owe it to myself 500 00:22:08,542 --> 00:22:11,712 to take the doggie out for a walk around the block. 501 00:22:12,542 --> 00:22:13,752 You know? 502 00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:15,964 [Carrie] Charlotte never saw Mike again. 503 00:22:16,041 --> 00:22:18,961 She realized you could take the Shar Pei out of the penis, 504 00:22:19,041 --> 00:22:22,961 but she could never take the dog out of the man. 505 00:22:23,041 --> 00:22:26,331 A few days later, I realized you could change a man. 506 00:22:26,417 --> 00:22:28,747 You could change him into not calling you. 507 00:22:29,750 --> 00:22:31,040 [knocking] 508 00:22:34,917 --> 00:22:35,917 Oh! 509 00:22:36,250 --> 00:22:37,290 Hi. 510 00:22:38,875 --> 00:22:40,245 Well, look at that. 511 00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:42,790 No, you look at it, I've seen it already. 512 00:22:44,083 --> 00:22:45,083 Sorry. 513 00:22:46,166 --> 00:22:47,956 Ah, easy! 514 00:22:48,041 --> 00:22:49,581 No hands near the face. 515 00:22:52,208 --> 00:22:53,248 Come in. 516 00:22:54,709 --> 00:22:56,749 I just came over to tell you something. 517 00:22:58,959 --> 00:23:00,829 You're suing me, right? 518 00:23:04,417 --> 00:23:05,417 Look, 519 00:23:05,834 --> 00:23:09,294 maybe you need a key to know that I'm crazy about you. 520 00:23:09,792 --> 00:23:12,002 But the thing is, I've given out like, 521 00:23:12,375 --> 00:23:13,495 five keys. 522 00:23:14,834 --> 00:23:16,134 And you never get 'em back. 523 00:23:17,625 --> 00:23:19,035 And maybe I... 524 00:23:19,125 --> 00:23:21,955 I hog my bed. But, I mean, it's my bed. 525 00:23:22,291 --> 00:23:23,291 And, 526 00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:24,790 well, I like you in it. 527 00:23:26,834 --> 00:23:28,544 Wow, I should hit you more often. 528 00:23:28,625 --> 00:23:30,325 -And the oranges. -What? 529 00:23:30,417 --> 00:23:31,917 The oranges have to go. 530 00:23:32,166 --> 00:23:34,286 Now, this is something I don't like about you. 531 00:23:34,834 --> 00:23:36,964 I hate that you eat oranges in my bed. 532 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:38,131 You do? 533 00:23:38,417 --> 00:23:40,997 [sighs] They're sticky and they make the sheets stink. 534 00:23:41,458 --> 00:23:42,458 That's it? 535 00:23:42,542 --> 00:23:43,962 I like my sheets. 536 00:23:45,375 --> 00:23:47,665 What are you gonna give me for the oranges? 537 00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:48,920 A negotiation? 538 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:49,960 Yep. 539 00:23:50,500 --> 00:23:51,880 Well, this could take a while. 540 00:23:53,291 --> 00:23:54,331 It could. 541 00:23:57,667 --> 00:24:00,877 Well, it looks like I may have to spend the night. 542 00:24:00,959 --> 00:24:03,749 [Carrie] That night, for the first time, 543 00:24:03,834 --> 00:24:07,294 Big spent the night at my place. 544 00:24:07,375 --> 00:24:10,915 I realized that neither of us would ever fundamentally change, 545 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,710 but we were talking about it. 546 00:24:12,792 --> 00:24:14,882 And maybe that was the biggest change of all. 547 00:24:16,625 --> 00:24:18,955 The next day, my sheets stunk of cigars. 548 00:24:19,041 --> 00:24:20,711 I changed them immediately. 549 00:24:22,709 --> 00:24:24,829 Across town, it was 2:00 a.m., 550 00:24:24,917 --> 00:24:27,327 and Miranda was no closer to getting sleep. 551 00:24:27,417 --> 00:24:29,207 [phone ringing] 552 00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:35,043 Hello? 553 00:24:39,875 --> 00:24:40,875 Hi. 554 00:24:41,333 --> 00:24:42,673 Sorry to wake you. 555 00:24:43,250 --> 00:24:45,210 It's okay, I was awake. 556 00:24:45,417 --> 00:24:47,327 Look, I don't wanna bug you. Um... 557 00:24:48,291 --> 00:24:49,331 Do me a favor, 558 00:24:50,709 --> 00:24:51,709 go to the window. 559 00:24:55,709 --> 00:24:56,709 Okay. 560 00:24:57,542 --> 00:24:58,712 [Steve] Now look up. 561 00:24:58,792 --> 00:24:59,752 [gasps] 562 00:25:00,250 --> 00:25:02,670 Oh, my God! 563 00:25:02,750 --> 00:25:04,210 [Steve] It's amazing, isn't it? 564 00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:06,750 It's a blue moon, 565 00:25:07,625 --> 00:25:09,165 it's really rare. 566 00:25:09,250 --> 00:25:11,330 [Steve] I just wanted you to see it. 567 00:25:11,417 --> 00:25:12,827 [Carrie] It was right then, 568 00:25:12,917 --> 00:25:14,997 that Miranda finally slowed down, 569 00:25:15,083 --> 00:25:16,293 and gave into Steve. 570 00:25:17,417 --> 00:25:19,127 Come over when you're done, okay? 571 00:25:20,959 --> 00:25:21,919 Yeah. 572 00:25:24,083 --> 00:25:25,883 Night. 573 00:25:25,959 --> 00:25:29,129 [Carrie] That night, Miranda and Steve made love. 574 00:25:30,375 --> 00:25:32,785 And they did it again in the morning. 575 00:25:32,875 --> 00:25:36,665 Miranda was an hour late for work and didn't even notice. 576 00:25:36,750 --> 00:25:38,830 So, maybe you can't change a man, 577 00:25:38,917 --> 00:25:40,287 but once in a blue moon, 578 00:25:40,375 --> 00:25:41,915 you can change a woman.