1 00:00:59,667 --> 00:01:01,707 There is nothing more humiliating for a woman 2 00:01:01,792 --> 00:01:03,882 than a visit to the gynecologist. 3 00:01:04,291 --> 00:01:05,881 Do you need more Ortho-Novum? 4 00:01:05,959 --> 00:01:08,579 Unless it's having to tell your gynecologist 5 00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:10,787 that you don't need to be on the pill anymore. 6 00:01:10,875 --> 00:01:13,075 Actually, I'm going off it. 7 00:01:13,166 --> 00:01:16,126 -Are you trying to have a baby? -No! 8 00:01:16,458 --> 00:01:17,628 No, I... 9 00:01:17,959 --> 00:01:19,539 guess I sort of jumped the gun 10 00:01:19,625 --> 00:01:22,285 going on it in the first place, because Steve... 11 00:01:22,542 --> 00:01:24,422 the guy that I went on it for, 12 00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:28,000 the first real relationship I've had in years, is over and... 13 00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:31,293 I don't need a daily reminder that I'm not having sex. 14 00:01:31,375 --> 00:01:32,455 So... 15 00:01:32,542 --> 00:01:34,712 that's the story with the pill. And, uh... 16 00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:37,166 Okay, I'm quiet now. 17 00:01:37,250 --> 00:01:39,920 Just when Miranda thought she'd hit rock bottom, 18 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,460 she discovered a new geological layer of humiliation. 19 00:01:44,583 --> 00:01:47,333 Well, we got your tests back and everything looks fine. 20 00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:48,287 Great! 21 00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:49,665 Just one small thing. 22 00:01:49,917 --> 00:01:52,287 It appears you have a lazy ovary. 23 00:01:52,875 --> 00:01:54,165 A lazy ovary? 24 00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:57,630 Yes. Your right ovary has stopped producing eggs. 25 00:01:58,208 --> 00:02:00,668 Is it possible it's just on strike? 26 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,330 I know what this is. 27 00:02:03,625 --> 00:02:05,285 My right ovary has given up hope 28 00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,625 that I will ever get married and have kids. 29 00:02:07,709 --> 00:02:10,329 It's like working on a case that you know is gonna settle out of court. 30 00:02:10,417 --> 00:02:11,417 Why bother? 31 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,750 Well, the left one still believes. 32 00:02:12,834 --> 00:02:14,464 I'm a biological underachiever. 33 00:02:14,542 --> 00:02:17,382 And it's ironic because that ovary went to Harvard. 34 00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:19,713 I have a tilted uterus. 35 00:02:20,542 --> 00:02:23,212 -So? -So the sperm have to jump 36 00:02:23,291 --> 00:02:25,131 over that hurdle to get to my egg. 37 00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:27,788 Yes, but once they get there, there will be an egg. 38 00:02:27,875 --> 00:02:30,455 I need a new gynecologist. Do you like yours? 39 00:02:30,542 --> 00:02:31,922 Not right now, no. 40 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,080 Well, at least she's a woman. 41 00:02:33,417 --> 00:02:35,957 I tried to go to a man, but it was just too strange. 42 00:02:36,041 --> 00:02:39,081 Having a guy spend all that time down there, and then you leave 43 00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:40,536 without an orgasm and a bill. 44 00:02:40,625 --> 00:02:42,285 Here, you guys, I'm gonna get this. 45 00:02:42,375 --> 00:02:43,455 You know, 46 00:02:43,542 --> 00:02:45,422 I don't think these are accepted here. 47 00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:46,877 Oops! 48 00:02:48,208 --> 00:02:49,918 I'm spending the night at Big's. 49 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,290 My God, after all this time, you don't have so much as a drawer there? 50 00:02:53,375 --> 00:02:54,995 Big is weird about stuff . 51 00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:58,383 All men are. That's why you have to just stake out some territory. 52 00:02:58,458 --> 00:03:00,828 Sweetie, it's not a land run, it's a relationship. 53 00:03:00,917 --> 00:03:02,747 Exactly, talk to him about it. 54 00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:05,044 With Big, I think it's best to 55 00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:07,165 walk softly and carry a big purse. 56 00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:09,080 Yes. She shouldn't leave anything there. 57 00:03:09,166 --> 00:03:11,376 It's important to remain a creature of mystery. 58 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:14,248 What's the big mystery? He knows that she wears underwear. 59 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:16,083 I never leave underwear at a guy's place 60 00:03:16,166 --> 00:03:17,246 because I never see it again. 61 00:03:17,333 --> 00:03:18,463 What happens to it? 62 00:03:18,542 --> 00:03:19,922 Nothing, I just never go back. 63 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,540 Doesn't that get a little expensive? 64 00:03:21,625 --> 00:03:24,325 Disposing of lingerie every time you sleep with a guy? 65 00:03:24,417 --> 00:03:26,707 That's why I stopped wearing underwear on dates. 66 00:03:26,792 --> 00:03:29,632 And that's why I'm never borrowing a dress from you again. 67 00:03:30,041 --> 00:03:33,211 I once found another woman's underwear in a man's bed. 68 00:03:33,291 --> 00:03:35,921 -Maybe it was Samantha's! 69 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,710 You know, once in Steve's bathroom, I found one of those 70 00:03:39,792 --> 00:03:41,752 hair scrunchies from the '80s. 71 00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:44,083 I'm not sure what was more disturbing, 72 00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:45,996 the fact that he had a girlfriend before me 73 00:03:46,083 --> 00:03:48,963 or the fact that he dated someone who wore a scrunchie. 74 00:03:49,041 --> 00:03:51,711 Half my music collection is left behind by past boyfriends. 75 00:03:51,792 --> 00:03:53,252 I always give that stuff back. 76 00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:56,043 Oh, I don't. I consider it a parting gift. 77 00:03:56,291 --> 00:03:59,711 Thanks for playing, and here's the latest from Hootie and the Blowfish. 78 00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:01,422 They're sexual souvenirs. 79 00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:03,380 Okay, then I want a t-shirt that says, 80 00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:07,288 "I dated a bartender and all I got was this lousy ovary." 81 00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:14,133 The next morning at Big's, I started to think... 82 00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:15,668 If the things we leave behind 83 00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:19,380 become the archaeological relics of our sexual history, 84 00:04:19,458 --> 00:04:21,288 I should be able to leave something. 85 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,290 Ancient man left cave drawings to prove they existed. 86 00:04:32,083 --> 00:04:33,963 I left a Hair Pro 1200. 87 00:04:39,125 --> 00:04:40,245 And I didn't stop at that. 88 00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:49,287 Man may have discovered fire, 89 00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:51,665 but women discovered how to play with it. 90 00:04:54,041 --> 00:04:56,291 Charlotte was making history, as well. 91 00:04:56,375 --> 00:04:58,995 Tired of the Neanderthal she'd been dating, 92 00:04:59,083 --> 00:05:00,833 she was spending her Saturday night 93 00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:03,707 with a gay friend who'd catered parties for the gallery, 94 00:05:03,792 --> 00:05:05,632 dessert chef, Stephan Bodine. 95 00:05:05,709 --> 00:05:09,129 I had no idea that Betty Buckley was so talented. 96 00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:11,328 Please, she's the cat's pajamas. 97 00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:13,205 Why do people say that? 98 00:05:13,291 --> 00:05:15,751 I have no idea. Maybe because she was in Cats . 99 00:05:16,792 --> 00:05:18,132 Hey, let's start another one. 100 00:05:18,208 --> 00:05:21,208 -Like, "She's the dog's tuxedo." Okay. 101 00:05:22,542 --> 00:05:24,082 Thank you so much for inviting me. 102 00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:25,876 No, no, no, please, thank you 103 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,709 for accepting my last-minute invite. 104 00:05:27,792 --> 00:05:29,292 My friend Don canceled this morning 105 00:05:29,375 --> 00:05:30,535 and we had had tickets forever. 106 00:05:30,834 --> 00:05:32,924 Well, you can call me any time. It's just so refreshing 107 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,130 to go out with a man that I can actually talk to. 108 00:05:35,375 --> 00:05:36,495 You want to grab a cappuccino? 109 00:05:36,583 --> 00:05:38,833 Oh, no, I've just got to get on home. 110 00:05:38,917 --> 00:05:40,917 -Well, you're uptown? -Yeah, and you're... 111 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,040 Chelsea. 112 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:43,582 I'll hail you a cab. 113 00:05:48,792 --> 00:05:50,082 What? 114 00:05:53,417 --> 00:05:54,957 Or you could get one yourself. 115 00:05:55,250 --> 00:05:56,830 Just helps to show a little leg. 116 00:05:56,917 --> 00:05:59,207 You know, I've tried that, and nothing. 117 00:06:00,875 --> 00:06:02,745 Thank you, goodnight. 118 00:06:13,041 --> 00:06:14,041 Goodnight. 119 00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:21,535 So, what happened? What do you think? 120 00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:25,174 I am so confused. Is he gay or is he straight? 121 00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:26,710 Well, it's not that simple anymore. 122 00:06:26,792 --> 00:06:28,502 The real question is, 123 00:06:28,792 --> 00:06:30,292 is he a straight gay man? 124 00:06:30,375 --> 00:06:32,245 Or is he a gay straight man? 125 00:06:32,333 --> 00:06:35,543 The gay straight man was a new strain of heterosexual male 126 00:06:35,625 --> 00:06:38,205 spawned in Manhattan as the result of overexposure 127 00:06:38,291 --> 00:06:41,081 to fashion, exotic cuisine, musical theater, 128 00:06:41,166 --> 00:06:42,286 and antique furniture. 129 00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:44,035 Well, hopefully he's a gay straight man. 130 00:06:44,125 --> 00:06:46,745 Which means he's straight with a lot of great gay qualities. 131 00:06:46,834 --> 00:06:48,424 Whereas a straight gay guy, 132 00:06:48,500 --> 00:06:51,330 is just a gay guy who plays sports and won't fuck you. 133 00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:53,207 He must be a gay straight man 134 00:06:53,291 --> 00:06:55,381 because he asked Charlotte out for a second date. 135 00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,918 Unless he's a straight gay man in denial. 136 00:06:58,166 --> 00:07:00,166 But our thing Saturday night wasn't even a date. 137 00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:02,710 I didn't wash my hair and I wore my glasses. 138 00:07:02,792 --> 00:07:06,332 Are those recreational? Because this drink isn't doing it for me. 139 00:07:06,417 --> 00:07:09,497 They're hormones. I'm trying to jump-start my ovary. 140 00:07:09,583 --> 00:07:11,543 I think my mother's taking those for menopause. 141 00:07:11,625 --> 00:07:13,785 Why, does she have a tilted uterus too? 142 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:18,080 Hey, isn't anybody going to notice my purse? 143 00:07:18,166 --> 00:07:19,496 -Aw! -Cute! 144 00:07:19,583 --> 00:07:20,673 Is it new? 145 00:07:20,750 --> 00:07:23,880 No, but it is quite small and panty-free. 146 00:07:23,959 --> 00:07:25,629 You left your underwear at Big's. 147 00:07:25,709 --> 00:07:29,379 Well, no, but I did leave a hairbrush, a hair dryer, 148 00:07:29,458 --> 00:07:31,498 razors, tampons... 149 00:07:31,959 --> 00:07:33,129 and eye makeup remover. 150 00:07:33,208 --> 00:07:34,828 Wow, good for you! 151 00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:37,170 And something else. 152 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:40,380 What? 153 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:44,712 For the first time at Big's... 154 00:07:45,041 --> 00:07:46,171 I did a number two. 155 00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:47,880 Oh, no! 156 00:07:48,291 --> 00:07:49,461 No! 157 00:07:49,542 --> 00:07:51,672 Yes! Now I think it's a good sign 158 00:07:51,750 --> 00:07:54,830 that I feel comfortable enough with Big to do a number two. 159 00:07:54,917 --> 00:07:56,457 It is not a good sign. 160 00:07:56,542 --> 00:07:58,132 It's the end of romance. 161 00:07:58,208 --> 00:07:59,748 This is a big deal. 162 00:07:59,834 --> 00:08:01,384 I went through an entire relationship 163 00:08:01,458 --> 00:08:03,128 never doing that at the guy's place, 164 00:08:03,208 --> 00:08:05,918 including a weekend in Bermuda where I spent the whole time 165 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,130 running to the lobby. 166 00:08:07,208 --> 00:08:08,538 Yeah, it's tough in New York, you know. 167 00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:10,325 Apartments are small, there's one bathroom. 168 00:08:10,417 --> 00:08:11,707 You can hear everybody's everything. 169 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:13,832 That's why I only date rich men. 170 00:08:13,917 --> 00:08:15,537 Money means that there's enough space 171 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,825 to distance yourself from the number two. 172 00:08:17,917 --> 00:08:21,827 I have never done a number two at a boyfriend's place. 173 00:08:21,917 --> 00:08:25,577 Honey, you're so uptight, you need to do a number seven. 174 00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:26,875 Excuse me. 175 00:08:27,417 --> 00:08:29,247 It's from that guy at the end of the bar. 176 00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,080 Oh, really? 177 00:08:35,834 --> 00:08:38,294 Oh, my God, it's Dominic. 178 00:08:38,375 --> 00:08:41,325 Dominic Delmonaco was a publishing magnate, 179 00:08:41,417 --> 00:08:44,787 and the first and only man Samantha really loved. 180 00:08:44,875 --> 00:08:46,125 He wined and dined her, 181 00:08:46,208 --> 00:08:47,828 set the bar for hot sex, 182 00:08:47,917 --> 00:08:51,537 then dumped her for an Icelandic supermodel named Anka. 183 00:08:51,625 --> 00:08:53,285 Once on the cover of Fortune, 184 00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:56,705 he'd fallen to tabloid level due to a messy public divorce. 185 00:08:57,834 --> 00:08:59,254 I'm just gonna say hello. 186 00:08:59,834 --> 00:09:01,214 After what he did to you? 187 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,831 -What did he do? -He broke her heart. 188 00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:06,327 Imagining Samantha with a broken heart 189 00:09:06,417 --> 00:09:08,127 was almost more confusing to Charlotte 190 00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:09,878 than a French kiss from a gay man. 191 00:09:09,959 --> 00:09:10,999 Ancient history. 192 00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:12,923 I'm the one with the power now. 193 00:09:13,417 --> 00:09:15,127 I've evolved past him. 194 00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:29,211 Hey, beautiful. 195 00:09:29,291 --> 00:09:30,631 Hiya, handsome. 196 00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:38,125 Hey! What's this? 197 00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:40,670 Oh, just a few things you left at my place. 198 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,133 Oh... 199 00:09:45,041 --> 00:09:46,001 Thanks. 200 00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:53,173 It's like I had one too many items 201 00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:56,540 and I was being kicked out of the relationship express lane. 202 00:09:56,625 --> 00:09:58,825 What is it about Big's apartment? 203 00:09:58,917 --> 00:10:01,877 Nothing ever sticks, it's like Teflon for women. 204 00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:12,170 I meant to leave that stuff at your apartment. 205 00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:14,834 Why? 206 00:10:15,125 --> 00:10:16,035 Well... 207 00:10:16,667 --> 00:10:20,287 For one thing, I don't wake up looking like this. 208 00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:23,420 I actually need stuff to look like this. 209 00:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,580 And it would be nice not to have to 210 00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:28,707 carry it around all day with me like a nomad. 211 00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:31,375 It's just a few things. 212 00:10:31,625 --> 00:10:32,995 And you can leave stuff here. 213 00:10:33,083 --> 00:10:34,463 I don't want to leave stuff here. 214 00:10:34,542 --> 00:10:36,922 Well, not a lot of stuff, just like... 215 00:10:38,125 --> 00:10:40,075 You know, if you want to shave in the morning. 216 00:10:40,166 --> 00:10:41,166 I shave at the gym. 217 00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,205 Okay, then, I don't know. 218 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:44,629 Socks. 219 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,460 You want me to leave socks here? 220 00:10:46,542 --> 00:10:49,212 Well, never mind what I want, what do you want? 221 00:10:49,291 --> 00:10:51,211 I don't know, let's save an hour. 222 00:10:51,709 --> 00:10:53,249 Why don't you just tell me what I want? 223 00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:55,463 No, really. In your mind... 224 00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:59,213 what is the ideal living situation for two people 225 00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:00,920 in a relationship? 226 00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:07,375 Exactly what we have. 227 00:11:08,291 --> 00:11:09,381 And what is that? 228 00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:11,130 I have my place, 229 00:11:11,458 --> 00:11:12,578 you have yours. 230 00:11:13,125 --> 00:11:14,575 We're together when we want to be. 231 00:11:14,792 --> 00:11:16,542 And we're apart when we want to be. 232 00:11:16,917 --> 00:11:18,207 Like Woody and Mia. 233 00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:20,171 Before Soon-Yi. 234 00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:24,460 Ever since Woody Allen described waving to Mia Farrow across the park, 235 00:11:24,542 --> 00:11:26,332 single men in Manhattan had yearned 236 00:11:26,417 --> 00:11:28,827 for that kind of separate togetherness. 237 00:11:28,917 --> 00:11:31,207 I felt like the last dinosaur. 238 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:33,291 Was I the one who needed to adapt? 239 00:11:33,375 --> 00:11:35,745 Was my view of a relationship extinct? 240 00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:39,167 I couldn't stop thinking about it. 241 00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:42,170 This is a city where gay men are so out, they're in. 242 00:11:42,250 --> 00:11:44,330 Where women are so chronically single, 243 00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:46,827 ovaries may be the next vestigial organ. 244 00:11:46,917 --> 00:11:48,667 We can have anything delivered at any hour. 245 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,710 We can have our dogs walked, our clothes cleaned, 246 00:11:50,792 --> 00:11:52,082 our food cooked. 247 00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:54,536 Who needs a husband when you have a doorman? 248 00:11:54,625 --> 00:11:57,035 Are New Yorkers evolving past relationships? 249 00:11:57,125 --> 00:11:58,745 Relationships have been on the decline 250 00:11:58,834 --> 00:12:00,714 since women came out of the cave, looked around, and said, 251 00:12:00,792 --> 00:12:02,042 "This isn't so hard." 252 00:12:02,291 --> 00:12:04,921 Okay, so you don't need a man, but do you still want one? 253 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,540 Oh, honey, I want more than one. 254 00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:09,495 I can't decide whether you represent our future 255 00:12:09,709 --> 00:12:11,879 -or our demise. -I am the future. 256 00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:15,916 Seeing Dominic reminded me of how needy I was and how far I've come. 257 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,500 We're going out Friday night. 258 00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:21,383 Oh, sweetie! It took you a year to get over him. 259 00:12:21,458 --> 00:12:23,078 He treated you like shit. 260 00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:24,785 Why would you want to go out with him again? 261 00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:26,415 Because he treated me like shit. 262 00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:28,210 Okay, I'm leaning towards demise. 263 00:12:28,291 --> 00:12:29,211 It's called revenge. 264 00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:30,461 I'm gonna make him want me, 265 00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:31,922 then right before we do it, 266 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,960 I'm gonna drop him like he dropped me. 267 00:12:34,291 --> 00:12:35,501 As long as you got a plan. 268 00:12:35,709 --> 00:12:38,579 Not only a plan, I have a dress. 269 00:12:38,667 --> 00:12:41,747 Samantha's revenge fantasy, like all her fantasies, 270 00:12:41,834 --> 00:12:42,924 was even better live. 271 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:43,960 Wow! 272 00:12:44,041 --> 00:12:45,881 You're more beautiful than ever. 273 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:49,083 So successful, and I'm getting gray hair 274 00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:51,826 and Anka is taking me for everything I've got. 275 00:12:52,417 --> 00:12:55,667 I read that she got the sailboat. 276 00:12:55,917 --> 00:12:57,957 Yes, well, we had good times in that boat. 277 00:12:58,375 --> 00:12:59,495 You and Anka? 278 00:12:59,834 --> 00:13:02,174 -You and I. -Oh! 279 00:13:02,542 --> 00:13:04,002 Have I mentioned how... 280 00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:06,668 unbelievable you look in that dress? 281 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:14,044 And since Stephan hadn't come out, 282 00:13:14,125 --> 00:13:16,705 Charlotte accepted his invitation to stay in. 283 00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:24,707 Mm... 284 00:13:25,041 --> 00:13:26,291 That's delicious. 285 00:13:26,375 --> 00:13:27,915 Grilled portobello pizzas 286 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:31,130 topped with fresh basil and Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese. 287 00:13:31,208 --> 00:13:32,078 Mm! 288 00:13:32,166 --> 00:13:33,206 It's Martha's recipe. 289 00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:35,878 Well, I love Martha Stewart. 290 00:13:36,041 --> 00:13:37,581 She's the dog's tuxedo. 291 00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:40,165 Oh, look. 292 00:13:40,625 --> 00:13:43,375 You have these silk place mats I've been eyeing at Bergdorf's. 293 00:13:43,875 --> 00:13:44,995 You have good taste. 294 00:13:45,208 --> 00:13:48,668 Well, this is my fantasy kitchen. 295 00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:50,671 And this is my fantasy. 296 00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:04,077 Is that dress Cynthia Rowley? 297 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,580 -Uh-huh. Charlotte wanted to be open-minded, 298 00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:11,577 but Stephan seemed to be making it as hard as possible. 299 00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:17,921 Meanwhile, Samantha was making Dominic as hard as possible. 300 00:14:21,417 --> 00:14:22,747 So, do you want me? 301 00:14:23,792 --> 00:14:24,752 Oh... 302 00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:26,915 do I want you. 303 00:14:32,917 --> 00:14:36,627 This was the moment Samantha had waited years and years for. 304 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,459 What was another couple hours? 305 00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:51,376 Hello. 306 00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:52,878 I've been trying to call you. Were you at Big's? 307 00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:54,629 Oh, no, I was out shopping. 308 00:14:54,959 --> 00:14:56,379 My relationship is at a standstill. 309 00:14:56,458 --> 00:14:58,498 So instead, I'm evolving my look. 310 00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:00,213 Hey, how did it go with Dominic? 311 00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:01,538 I slept with him. 312 00:15:01,625 --> 00:15:03,415 Well, that wasn't part of the plan. 313 00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:06,210 It's part of the new plan. I wanted to remind him what he was missing. 314 00:15:06,709 --> 00:15:09,539 I can't believe I thought he was such a great lover. 315 00:15:09,750 --> 00:15:11,130 I'm better than him now. 316 00:15:11,208 --> 00:15:12,828 Bye. 317 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,210 In order to survive two decades of dating in New York, 318 00:15:18,291 --> 00:15:20,751 Samantha had become a powerful hybrid, 319 00:15:20,834 --> 00:15:24,794 the ego of a man trapped in the body of a woman. 320 00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:27,575 Charlotte feared the opposite was true of Stephan. 321 00:15:27,667 --> 00:15:30,327 She still needed help classifying her find, 322 00:15:30,417 --> 00:15:32,577 so she brought in a team of experts. 323 00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:35,627 Uh... Carrie, Stanford, this is Stephan. 324 00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:36,674 -Hi. Hi. 325 00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:37,790 -Ciao. Oh! 326 00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:39,075 You changed your hair. 327 00:15:39,166 --> 00:15:41,456 Oh, yeah, I just... it's just straightened. 328 00:15:41,542 --> 00:15:42,922 -Have we met? -Oh, no, no, no. 329 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,750 I've seen your column. And in that photo, 330 00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:46,754 your hair is, like, free-flowing and... 331 00:15:46,834 --> 00:15:47,884 Botticelli-esque. 332 00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:50,334 It's fabulous either way. 333 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,537 So... 334 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,670 Cannolis and cream puffs and tarts, oh my! 335 00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:58,544 I put a little bit of everything. 336 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,745 Um... This one's an experiment. 337 00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:03,424 It's a date tart with a pumpkin custard. 338 00:16:04,125 --> 00:16:05,285 This is all for us? 339 00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:06,745 Sweets for my sweet. 340 00:16:06,834 --> 00:16:08,464 And her freeloading friends. 341 00:16:08,542 --> 00:16:11,882 My nutritionist will kill me, but somebody hand me a fork. 342 00:16:11,959 --> 00:16:13,579 -Can you join us? -I'd love to, 343 00:16:13,667 --> 00:16:15,417 I have got to glaze my wedding cake. 344 00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:20,713 Get back to me on the tart. 345 00:16:26,166 --> 00:16:27,916 I find him very attractive. 346 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,040 Which of course means he's straight. 347 00:16:30,125 --> 00:16:32,205 Plus, he's obviously choosing to be straight 348 00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:35,331 because he seems to be head over heels about this one. 349 00:16:35,959 --> 00:16:38,539 What if he's gay and he doesn't know it yet? 350 00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:40,875 Honey, we are aware. 351 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,628 When I was a boy, my father gave me a book 352 00:16:43,709 --> 00:16:46,669 about the female body to teach me about sex. 353 00:16:46,750 --> 00:16:49,040 I took one look at it and said, 354 00:16:49,792 --> 00:16:50,832 "No." 355 00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:52,287 Well, how is he in bed? 356 00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:54,375 I don't know, I haven't slept with him yet. 357 00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:56,333 Really? 358 00:16:56,417 --> 00:16:57,577 But he wants to. 359 00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:59,327 It's so not fair. 360 00:16:59,417 --> 00:17:01,167 All the good ones are straight. 361 00:17:01,250 --> 00:17:02,580 Even the gay ones. 362 00:17:03,542 --> 00:17:04,922 Give me a cannoli. 363 00:17:16,750 --> 00:17:18,420 Are you looking at my forehead? 364 00:17:18,500 --> 00:17:20,130 No, no! 365 00:17:20,208 --> 00:17:22,708 That night, Miranda went out with Joseph Adler, 366 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,132 a labor relations lawyer 367 00:17:24,208 --> 00:17:26,248 who'd been after her since the firm retreat. 368 00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:27,923 The lamb is delicious. 369 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,250 You can look if you want, I've got nothing to hide. 370 00:17:31,166 --> 00:17:32,706 It's actually starting to fill in. 371 00:17:32,792 --> 00:17:33,792 Mm-hm. 372 00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:37,035 She'd refused him twice before 373 00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:39,375 but since she was down to her last ovary, 374 00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:42,378 Miranda decided she was in no position to eliminate men 375 00:17:42,458 --> 00:17:43,998 on the basis of hair plugs. 376 00:17:44,083 --> 00:17:46,383 I'm telling you, I was practically bald. 377 00:17:46,458 --> 00:17:47,538 I remember. 378 00:17:47,625 --> 00:17:50,285 And now I have hair. This is a miracle. 379 00:17:51,333 --> 00:17:53,583 -Some more bastilla? -Oh, sure. 380 00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,671 You probably think I'm crazy. 381 00:17:58,458 --> 00:18:00,668 Actually, I was thinking you seem very happy. 382 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:05,170 You know, the funny thing is, I never thought that I'd be the kind of guy to get plugs. 383 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:08,290 But I've learned that you should never say never. 384 00:18:09,375 --> 00:18:10,495 I know what you mean. 385 00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:13,044 There are things that I've been considering lately 386 00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:15,495 that I never thought I would consider. 387 00:18:15,834 --> 00:18:16,884 Like what? 388 00:18:18,041 --> 00:18:19,291 Do you really want to know? 389 00:18:19,542 --> 00:18:20,542 Sure. 390 00:18:21,917 --> 00:18:25,917 Well, I recently found out that I have a lazy ovary. 391 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,330 Which is no big deal. 392 00:18:27,542 --> 00:18:30,502 It just means I only produce an egg every other month. 393 00:18:30,583 --> 00:18:32,793 And I'm not even sure that I want kids, but... 394 00:18:33,125 --> 00:18:36,745 all of a sudden it hit me that if the other ovary shuts down, 395 00:18:36,834 --> 00:18:38,504 I'm out of business. So... 396 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,500 I've started taking hormones, 397 00:18:40,583 --> 00:18:44,003 and now I'm actually considering freezing my eggs. 398 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:46,540 Freezing your eggs? 399 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,875 Yeah, you know, like a fertility savings account. 400 00:18:49,959 --> 00:18:51,749 I think it would take the pressure off. 401 00:18:51,834 --> 00:18:54,584 It removes the whole biological clock issue. 402 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:57,037 Yeah, but it raises a lot of other issues. 403 00:18:57,625 --> 00:19:00,035 Such as? 404 00:19:00,125 --> 00:19:02,745 What is all this reproductive technology doing for us? 405 00:19:02,834 --> 00:19:06,884 I mean, do we want desperate women having babies at 50? 406 00:19:07,834 --> 00:19:10,004 Maybe some people aren't supposed to procreate. 407 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:14,210 Maybe this is the world's way of weeding out the weak. You see? 408 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:17,330 If you ask me, this is a ridiculous abuse of science. 409 00:19:17,625 --> 00:19:22,205 You have now designer sperm and these simulated wombs. 410 00:19:22,542 --> 00:19:23,632 Here's a good idea. 411 00:19:24,083 --> 00:19:27,133 -Why don't we just eliminate men altogether? -Hey! 412 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:31,002 I don't need to be lectured about science by a man who's doing crop rotation 413 00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:32,583 on his forehead. 414 00:19:32,667 --> 00:19:34,497 Miranda went off the hormones, 415 00:19:34,583 --> 00:19:36,463 not because of what Joseph said, 416 00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:38,422 but because she was only 33, 417 00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,080 she still had her left ovary, 418 00:19:40,166 --> 00:19:42,246 and she wasn't ready to settle out of court. 419 00:19:44,083 --> 00:19:47,003 Maybe someday there would be eggs in her freezer. 420 00:19:47,083 --> 00:19:48,083 But not yet. 421 00:19:51,834 --> 00:19:53,964 Meanwhile, Charlotte decided to stop trying 422 00:19:54,041 --> 00:19:56,461 to figure out her creature of mystery, 423 00:19:56,542 --> 00:19:57,882 and just enjoy. 424 00:19:58,792 --> 00:19:59,792 Cher? 425 00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:01,581 I love her. 426 00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,290 She's such a survivor. 427 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,500 Wait. 428 00:20:13,458 --> 00:20:14,958 I have to ask you something. 429 00:20:19,083 --> 00:20:20,793 Have you ever been with a man? 430 00:20:23,625 --> 00:20:24,575 No. 431 00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:26,247 Have you ever been with a woman? 432 00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:28,330 I'm sorry, it's just... 433 00:20:30,792 --> 00:20:32,132 Betty Buckley and... 434 00:20:32,667 --> 00:20:35,827 Martha Stewart and, and Cynthia Rowley! 435 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,330 Are you gay? 436 00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:43,461 Charlotte, 437 00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:47,750 I'm a 35-year-old pastry chef who lives in Chelsea. 438 00:20:48,333 --> 00:20:49,963 If I were gay, 439 00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:51,748 I would be gay. 440 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,500 You're the one who doesn't want to make love. 441 00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:01,325 I wouldn't be so sure about that. 442 00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:13,749 Charlotte was relieved and delighted 443 00:21:13,834 --> 00:21:16,714 to discover Stephan was definitely straight, 444 00:21:16,792 --> 00:21:19,002 or at least a gay straight man. 445 00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:21,503 Frankly, after two orgasms, who the hell cares? 446 00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:22,833 Oh, God. 447 00:21:27,917 --> 00:21:30,077 The next morning, it dawned on Samantha 448 00:21:30,166 --> 00:21:34,326 that her desire for revenge was not as strong as her desire for Dominic. 449 00:21:36,375 --> 00:21:37,375 You're awake. 450 00:21:39,125 --> 00:21:40,075 Yes. 451 00:21:42,709 --> 00:21:44,539 You're so incredibly beautiful. 452 00:21:49,375 --> 00:21:50,705 God. 453 00:21:51,375 --> 00:21:52,495 I'm gonna miss you. 454 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,710 What do you mean? 455 00:21:55,041 --> 00:21:57,041 Anka and I are giving it another shot. 456 00:21:58,667 --> 00:22:00,877 It's mostly financial. 457 00:22:02,250 --> 00:22:03,670 You can't do this to me. 458 00:22:03,750 --> 00:22:06,250 -I know, I'm sorry. -No. 459 00:22:06,709 --> 00:22:08,959 No, no, no, no, no! 460 00:22:09,041 --> 00:22:10,791 I'm supposed to do this to you. 461 00:22:10,875 --> 00:22:12,995 I had a plan. This is all wrong! 462 00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,253 I should go. 463 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:16,630 Get out! 464 00:22:16,834 --> 00:22:18,214 I said I was going. 465 00:22:18,625 --> 00:22:19,625 Hey! 466 00:22:19,709 --> 00:22:22,039 Stop beating me to the punch! 467 00:22:22,125 --> 00:22:24,785 As she watched history repeat itself, 468 00:22:24,875 --> 00:22:27,745 Samantha realized she couldn't do what Dominic did, 469 00:22:27,834 --> 00:22:30,754 because she hadn't evolved past having feelings. 470 00:22:31,667 --> 00:22:32,787 And in a way, 471 00:22:32,875 --> 00:22:34,245 that was nice to know. 472 00:22:40,875 --> 00:22:43,915 -Good morning. -Good morning, sleepy. 473 00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:46,500 Something smells amazing. 474 00:22:46,583 --> 00:22:48,633 It's warm cranberry buttermilk scones. 475 00:22:48,709 --> 00:22:50,289 -Mm! -And lemon curd. 476 00:22:50,750 --> 00:22:53,960 If I continue dating you, I'm gonna gain ten pounds. 477 00:22:54,041 --> 00:22:55,631 You'll still be gorgeous. 478 00:23:00,542 --> 00:23:02,462 -You want some tea? -Yes, please. 479 00:23:04,625 --> 00:23:05,995 What is that noise? 480 00:23:06,291 --> 00:23:09,461 -What noise? -It's kind of... it's like a squeaking. 481 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:15,880 Oh my God, oh my God. 482 00:23:15,959 --> 00:23:17,169 It's a mouse. 483 00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:18,920 -Are you sure? -Yes, it's in that glue trap. 484 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:19,880 Where? 485 00:23:19,959 --> 00:23:21,129 Uh... there. Oh, ew, ew! 486 00:23:21,208 --> 00:23:22,828 Oh! Oh, my God! 487 00:23:22,917 --> 00:23:24,417 Its legs are stuck! 488 00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:26,540 -Ew! Get it out! -Ew, do something. 489 00:23:26,625 --> 00:23:29,495 -Well, don't kick it to me! -Get it out, get it out! 490 00:23:29,834 --> 00:23:32,044 -Ah! Will you do something? -It touched my skin! 491 00:23:32,125 --> 00:23:34,205 It touched my skin! It's coming out that way! 492 00:23:34,458 --> 00:23:36,748 Ah! Get it away, away! 493 00:23:38,500 --> 00:23:39,420 Ew! 494 00:23:40,625 --> 00:23:43,625 Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God... 495 00:23:43,709 --> 00:23:47,079 At that moment, Charlotte realized her masculine side 496 00:23:47,166 --> 00:23:49,416 wasn't evolved enough for a man whose feminine side 497 00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:52,130 was as highly evolved as Stephan's. 498 00:23:55,166 --> 00:23:57,416 And I spent the night at Big's for the first time 499 00:23:57,500 --> 00:23:59,880 since my stuff was kicked out of the nest. 500 00:24:12,333 --> 00:24:14,043 Oh, God. 501 00:24:14,458 --> 00:24:15,538 Where are you going? 502 00:24:16,333 --> 00:24:19,333 -Home. -No, nope. 503 00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:23,209 That's where my hair dryer is. 504 00:24:26,917 --> 00:24:28,827 I have to dry my hair. 505 00:24:29,375 --> 00:24:32,205 I'm wearing it straight in case you didn't notice. 506 00:24:32,291 --> 00:24:33,711 I noticed. 507 00:24:34,792 --> 00:24:37,382 But I think it looks pretty amazing right now. 508 00:24:44,834 --> 00:24:45,754 Hey. 509 00:24:46,041 --> 00:24:48,631 Bring that gorgeous ass back into bed. 510 00:24:49,417 --> 00:24:52,207 I just have to make sure I didn't leave anything else. 511 00:25:04,041 --> 00:25:05,631 And suddenly I realized... 512 00:25:05,709 --> 00:25:08,999 I didn't have to worry about leaving something behind, 513 00:25:09,083 --> 00:25:10,633 because I was there. 514 00:25:19,083 --> 00:25:20,083 Okay. 515 00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:22,750 I'll stay a little longer. 516 00:25:23,792 --> 00:25:25,582 But I'm leaving this underwear here. 517 00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:27,538 Is it clean? 518 00:25:38,625 --> 00:25:39,575 Okay. 519 00:25:39,667 --> 00:25:41,667 It was a small step for mankind. 520 00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:44,420 But it was a really big step for Big.