1
00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:51,003
In a town where everyone's
dying to couple up,
2
00:00:51,006 --> 00:00:52,006
sometimes there's
nothing better
3
00:00:52,014 --> 00:00:54,024
than being out of
a relationship.
4
00:00:54,018 --> 00:00:56,018
You have time to
do your laundry.
5
00:00:56,020 --> 00:00:59,010
Freedom to play your favorite
bad music really loudly.
6
00:00:59,013 --> 00:01:02,003
But the best part of being
out of a relationship...
7
00:01:02,002 --> 00:01:04,022
Plenty of time to catch up
with your friends.
8
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,020
I feel sorry for Big,
I really do, because...
9
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,010
if you think about it,
10
00:01:09,008 --> 00:01:11,008
I was the best thing that
ever happened to him.
11
00:01:11,016 --> 00:01:13,006
Actually, no,
I pity him.
12
00:01:13,007 --> 00:01:15,007
Because I get to
walk away and be me
13
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,018
and he has to walk away
and stay him, you know,
14
00:01:16,023 --> 00:01:19,003
and who wants to be him
when you can be me?
15
00:01:19,003 --> 00:01:20,013
I mean,
I'm smart, I'm funny.
16
00:01:20,012 --> 00:01:23,012
I was this thing, you know?
I was it.
17
00:01:23,013 --> 00:01:25,023
I mean, I was this
magic moment.
18
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,008
I was the abracadab--
19
00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:29,020
I was totally "the poof"
in the relationship.
20
00:01:29,017 --> 00:01:30,017
I mean,
21
00:01:30,018 --> 00:01:31,998
I've got more poof
in one finger
22
00:01:32,006 --> 00:01:33,016
than he could ever have.
I mean, jeez,
23
00:01:33,023 --> 00:01:35,013
sometimes I poof
just hailing a cab.
24
00:01:35,014 --> 00:01:37,014
So, I guess it's better
to know now.
25
00:01:37,013 --> 00:01:39,013
So that I can go poof
someone else.
26
00:01:39,014 --> 00:01:41,004
...someone
who deserves me
27
00:01:41,004 --> 00:01:43,004
and not some screwed up,
insecure guy
28
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:44,023
who can't
deal with a woman
29
00:01:44,019 --> 00:01:46,009
who's got her act
together.
30
00:01:46,011 --> 00:01:48,011
Now, I'm gonna end up
deliriously happy
31
00:01:48,014 --> 00:01:50,024
and Big is gonna
die old and alone.
32
00:01:50,018 --> 00:01:51,018
And I pity him.
33
00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:54,001
Really, I pity him.
34
00:01:59,015 --> 00:02:00,015
What?
35
00:02:00,023 --> 00:02:02,023
Alright, who's gonna
tell her?
36
00:02:03,001 --> 00:02:04,011
What?
37
00:02:04,012 --> 00:02:05,022
Honey, you're obsessed
with talking about Big
38
00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:07,021
and frankly, we can't
take it anymore.
39
00:02:07,020 --> 00:02:09,000
It's out of our league.
40
00:02:09,006 --> 00:02:10,006
What is this,
an intervention?
41
00:02:10,013 --> 00:02:13,003
Yes, stop her before
she obsesses again.
42
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:15,012
Isn't part of the whole
breaking up process
43
00:02:15,011 --> 00:02:17,011
that you get free reign
to whine to your friends?
44
00:02:17,015 --> 00:02:18,015
Of course you do.
45
00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:21,011
But maybe you should think
about whining to a shrink.
46
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,996
Why should I pay someone
when we can talk for free
47
00:02:24,006 --> 00:02:26,006
and then go get a drink
or whatever?
48
00:02:26,007 --> 00:02:29,007
I don't need professional help,
I've got you guys.
49
00:02:29,008 --> 00:02:30,018
Yeah, for about
another ten minutes.
50
00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:33,009
And then we're cutting you off,
cold turkey.
51
00:02:33,008 --> 00:02:36,008
Hey, I don't need therapy,
I need new friends.
52
00:02:36,012 --> 00:02:38,012
Look, we're as fucked up
as you are.
53
00:02:38,013 --> 00:02:40,023
It's like the blind
leading the blind.
54
00:02:40,022 --> 00:02:43,012
Sometimes it helps to talk
to somebody who's objective.
55
00:02:43,014 --> 00:02:46,014
Okay, I understand why
you see a shrink, you know,
56
00:02:46,008 --> 00:02:47,998
'cause you're always
in your head.
57
00:02:48,004 --> 00:02:49,024
But I'm fine.
58
00:02:49,021 --> 00:02:51,011
I am functioning.
59
00:02:51,015 --> 00:02:52,995
Besides, I don't really--
60
00:02:53,002 --> 00:02:55,022
To be honest, I just don't
buy the whole shrink thing.
61
00:02:55,018 --> 00:02:56,998
Neither do I.
62
00:02:57,003 --> 00:02:58,023
I mean, my parents believe
that any head problem
63
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,000
could be solved
with physical exercise.
64
00:03:01,002 --> 00:03:03,022
That's why all of us are
really good tennis players.
65
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,018
It's a slippery slope.
66
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,010
You know, first,
you're going once a week,
67
00:03:07,013 --> 00:03:09,003
then it's three times
a week.
68
00:03:09,005 --> 00:03:10,005
And then the next thing
you know,
69
00:03:10,012 --> 00:03:11,022
you're starting
your sentences with,
70
00:03:11,019 --> 00:03:12,019
"Well, my shrink says--"
71
00:03:13,001 --> 00:03:15,001
My shrink says
that's a very common fear.
72
00:03:15,003 --> 00:03:16,003
Therapy...
73
00:03:16,003 --> 00:03:19,013
It's just so
self indulgent.
74
00:03:19,021 --> 00:03:22,011
Ancient man didn't need
shrinks to survive.
75
00:03:22,012 --> 00:03:25,002
Ancient man
only lived till 30.
76
00:03:25,002 --> 00:03:26,012
Were my friends right?
77
00:03:26,013 --> 00:03:29,003
Had I crossed the line
from pleasantly neurotic
78
00:03:29,002 --> 00:03:30,022
into annoyingly
troubled?
79
00:03:30,017 --> 00:03:33,007
I decided to seek my own
professional help.
80
00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:35,017
How can you not
have a shrink?
81
00:03:35,017 --> 00:03:38,007
This is Manhattan.
Even the shrinks
have shrinks.
82
00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,999
The fact was,
Stanford was right.
83
00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:42,013
The therapist was
as ubiquitous in Manhattan
84
00:03:42,012 --> 00:03:43,012
as pirated cable.
85
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,004
I have three.
86
00:03:45,005 --> 00:03:45,995
You do not.
87
00:03:46,006 --> 00:03:47,006
I do.
88
00:03:47,008 --> 00:03:48,008
One for when I want
to be coddled.
89
00:03:48,013 --> 00:03:50,013
One for when I want
tough love.
90
00:03:50,011 --> 00:03:51,021
And one for when
I just want to look
91
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,010
at a really
beautiful man.
92
00:03:53,014 --> 00:03:54,014
Well, that's sick.
93
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:56,006
Which is why
I see the other two.
94
00:03:56,012 --> 00:03:57,022
Do you want a name?
95
00:03:57,018 --> 00:03:59,018
Oh, no, Miranda's shrink
referred me to one.
96
00:04:00,003 --> 00:04:02,013
Uh... Dr. Ellen Greenfield.
97
00:04:02,015 --> 00:04:03,995
Dr. G!
98
00:04:04,004 --> 00:04:05,004
Oh, my God.
99
00:04:05,005 --> 00:04:06,005
She is hot, hot, hot.
100
00:04:06,014 --> 00:04:07,024
Gwyneth Paltrow
sees her.
101
00:04:07,020 --> 00:04:09,010
Why does she
go to a shrink?
102
00:04:09,012 --> 00:04:12,002
She suffers from
high self-esteem.
103
00:04:13,010 --> 00:04:15,010
While I was
contemplating the couch,
104
00:04:15,010 --> 00:04:17,020
Miranda was enjoying hers.
105
00:04:36,003 --> 00:04:37,013
Two nights later,
106
00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:39,019
she had another
nocturnal rendezvous.
107
00:04:47,012 --> 00:04:51,022
Soon, Miranda found herself
with a nightly playmate.
108
00:04:51,021 --> 00:04:55,001
A week later,
I kept my date with Dr. G.,
109
00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,013
celebrity shrink.
110
00:04:56,009 --> 00:04:59,009
So, Carrie, tell me
why you're here.
111
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,020
Well, my friends
can't handle me anymore.
112
00:05:04,013 --> 00:05:08,003
They're like very expensive
foster care.
113
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,023
What's bothering them?
114
00:05:10,011 --> 00:05:15,001
They tell me that I talk about
my ex-boyfriend too much.
115
00:05:15,006 --> 00:05:17,996
But that's normal, right,
after a break-up?
116
00:05:18,004 --> 00:05:20,014
I don't like
the term "normal".
117
00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:21,020
Oh, no, of course you don't.
118
00:05:21,019 --> 00:05:24,019
Because you wouldn't
have any patients.
119
00:05:25,014 --> 00:05:27,024
So tell me about him.
120
00:05:28,004 --> 00:05:29,024
The ex.
121
00:05:31,002 --> 00:05:33,022
You know, uh...
122
00:05:35,015 --> 00:05:38,005
I have to be honest here.
Um...
123
00:05:38,022 --> 00:05:43,012
I'm not sure I really
believe in therapy.
124
00:05:44,014 --> 00:05:45,024
I'm more of a...
125
00:05:46,008 --> 00:05:48,018
"Solve your own problems"
kind of gal.
126
00:05:54,012 --> 00:05:55,012
Okay.
127
00:05:55,014 --> 00:05:56,024
Ah...
128
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,013
I don't know.
129
00:06:01,023 --> 00:06:03,023
He was smart.
130
00:06:05,011 --> 00:06:09,011
He was sexy,
just totally screwed up.
131
00:06:09,019 --> 00:06:11,009
He was playing
all these games.
132
00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:13,010
And I didn't know
the rules.
133
00:06:14,002 --> 00:06:15,012
You were
playing games.
134
00:06:15,011 --> 00:06:16,011
No, he was.
135
00:06:16,013 --> 00:06:18,023
I was just along
for the ride.
136
00:06:19,001 --> 00:06:20,011
And what about you?
137
00:06:20,008 --> 00:06:22,008
Was this the first time
you dated a man
138
00:06:22,011 --> 00:06:24,021
who couldn't give you
what you wanted?
139
00:06:25,004 --> 00:06:29,004
Well, that's a little easy,
don't you think?
140
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,010
Okay.
141
00:06:36,008 --> 00:06:37,008
Yeah.
142
00:06:37,014 --> 00:06:39,014
Maybe I've dated men
who were wrong for me,
143
00:06:39,014 --> 00:06:41,004
but who hasn't?
144
00:06:41,005 --> 00:06:45,005
But the thing they have
in common... is you.
145
00:06:46,019 --> 00:06:48,009
What's your point?
146
00:06:48,011 --> 00:06:50,011
Maybe you are picking
the wrong men.
147
00:06:52,003 --> 00:06:54,013
Well, of course
you pick the wrong guys.
148
00:06:54,007 --> 00:06:55,997
Jesus, I could
have told you that.
149
00:06:56,003 --> 00:06:59,003
Well, frankly, I think
I picked the wrong therapist.
150
00:06:59,005 --> 00:07:03,005
I mean, she just did not
get me at all.
151
00:07:03,010 --> 00:07:05,010
She thought I was
a game player.
152
00:07:05,009 --> 00:07:06,009
Well, you have to be.
153
00:07:06,013 --> 00:07:07,023
It's the only way
to deal with men.
154
00:07:08,001 --> 00:07:09,001
Oh, that's healthy.
155
00:07:09,004 --> 00:07:10,024
Relationships
are not about games.
156
00:07:10,022 --> 00:07:13,012
They're about mature
and honest communication.
157
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,015
This coming from a woman
158
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,020
who's playing peek-a-boo
with her neighbor.
159
00:07:16,021 --> 00:07:18,011
Games are empowering.
160
00:07:18,007 --> 00:07:19,007
If you know
what you're doing,
161
00:07:19,012 --> 00:07:21,012
you can totally
control the situation.
162
00:07:21,009 --> 00:07:24,009
The only place you can
control a man is in bed.
163
00:07:24,013 --> 00:07:26,023
If we perpetually
gave men blow jobs,
164
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,010
we could run the world.
165
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:30,012
And at least our hands would be
free to greet dignitaries
166
00:07:30,015 --> 00:07:31,005
and stuff.
167
00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:32,995
Excuse me.
-Sorry.
168
00:07:33,002 --> 00:07:35,012
I mean, you know, even if
you're in a relationship,
169
00:07:35,013 --> 00:07:37,013
you still have
to play games.
170
00:07:37,023 --> 00:07:40,013
Yeah, Big and I
played games,
look where it got us.
171
00:07:40,009 --> 00:07:42,009
But maybe the game
is not really over.
172
00:07:42,014 --> 00:07:44,014
Maybe it's
just halftime.
173
00:07:44,012 --> 00:07:46,012
That kind of
delusional thinking
174
00:07:46,011 --> 00:07:48,011
is why you should
be in therapy, too.
175
00:07:48,008 --> 00:07:51,018
I do not pick the wrong guys,
they pick me.
176
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,010
So what, you're like a fly strip
for dysfunctional men?
177
00:07:55,018 --> 00:07:59,008
Yeah, but one of those really
pretty floral scented ones.
178
00:07:59,007 --> 00:08:01,007
It's slim pickings
out there.
179
00:08:01,011 --> 00:08:03,001
You can't swing
a Fendi purse
180
00:08:03,006 --> 00:08:05,006
without knocking over
five losers.
181
00:08:06,013 --> 00:08:08,023
Where did all
the great guys go?
182
00:08:11,007 --> 00:08:12,017
There it was.
183
00:08:12,017 --> 00:08:14,997
Happy hour in
the valley of lost men.
184
00:08:15,003 --> 00:08:16,013
Whoa.
185
00:08:16,014 --> 00:08:19,024
I've never seen this many of
them rounded up in one space.
186
00:08:19,020 --> 00:08:21,000
What's going on?
187
00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:22,012
It's sports night.
188
00:08:22,010 --> 00:08:23,020
It certainly is.
189
00:08:23,018 --> 00:08:26,018
C'mon, girls,
let the games begin.
190
00:08:27,012 --> 00:08:28,012
Sports night.
191
00:08:28,015 --> 00:08:30,005
Every female's fantasy.
192
00:08:30,012 --> 00:08:33,012
A room full of captive
heterosexual men
193
00:08:33,016 --> 00:08:36,016
all looking to be distracted
during commercial breaks.
194
00:08:37,003 --> 00:08:40,023
I'm getting a contact high
from all the testosterone.
195
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,020
-We didn't order these.
-Oh, no, they're on the house.
196
00:08:43,020 --> 00:08:46,000
It's sports night.
Ladies drink for free.
197
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,023
-Oh.
-Forget Disneyland.
198
00:08:47,021 --> 00:08:50,011
This is the happiest
place on earth.
199
00:08:51,015 --> 00:08:52,995
Yes, indeed.
200
00:08:55,005 --> 00:08:57,015
Mmm, If you ladies
will excuse me.
201
00:08:58,020 --> 00:09:01,020
I'm getting
off the bench.
202
00:09:01,023 --> 00:09:04,013
They certainly have
the momentum going now!
203
00:09:04,009 --> 00:09:07,009
Pass the ball!
Pass the ball! Pass the ball!
204
00:09:08,011 --> 00:09:09,011
Who's winning?
205
00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:10,020
Knicks.
206
00:09:10,018 --> 00:09:11,018
Is that good?
207
00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:14,021
You're not
a Knicks fan, I take it.
208
00:09:14,019 --> 00:09:16,009
Not yet.
209
00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:17,020
I'm Don.
210
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:19,013
Samantha.
211
00:09:19,011 --> 00:09:21,011
Don Siegler was a very
successful importer
212
00:09:21,011 --> 00:09:22,021
of Mexican handbags.
213
00:09:22,021 --> 00:09:24,021
He was fanatical about
214
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,020
keeping the price
of foreign labor down
215
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,001
and the Knicks.
216
00:09:28,005 --> 00:09:29,015
Maybe I could teach
you a few things.
217
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:31,010
And vice versa.
218
00:09:31,013 --> 00:09:32,023
There's ten seconds left.
219
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:34,011
Pass, you motherfucker!
220
00:09:34,014 --> 00:09:35,024
Pass the ball!
221
00:09:35,021 --> 00:09:38,001
We need to penetrate,
drive to the basket.
222
00:09:38,005 --> 00:09:40,995
Get it to Johnson,
he's on fire tonight.
223
00:09:41,003 --> 00:09:43,003
Yes, go L.J., go!
224
00:09:43,006 --> 00:09:44,016
Go, score!
225
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:52,012
Which is exactly what Samantha
did two hours later.
226
00:09:59,010 --> 00:10:00,020
When I got home that night,
227
00:10:00,019 --> 00:10:03,009
I couldn't get Charlotte's words
out of my head.
228
00:10:03,015 --> 00:10:05,015
We spent our childhoods
playing games.
229
00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:09,011
Were they all just primers for
the games we played as adults?
230
00:10:09,012 --> 00:10:11,022
Were relationships just
a big chess match,
231
00:10:11,017 --> 00:10:13,007
strategy, moves,
counter moves...
232
00:10:13,016 --> 00:10:15,006
all designed to keep
your opponent off balance
233
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:17,005
until you win?
234
00:10:17,009 --> 00:10:20,009
Was there such a thing as
an honest relationship,
235
00:10:20,011 --> 00:10:22,001
or was it true?
236
00:10:22,005 --> 00:10:25,015
Do you have to play games to
make a relationship work?
237
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:27,020
I went out with
this girl on Saturday night.
238
00:10:28,001 --> 00:10:29,021
We had a great time.
239
00:10:29,018 --> 00:10:31,018
So, I didn't call her
again until Thursday.
240
00:10:32,001 --> 00:10:33,011
You know, so I didn't
seem eager.
241
00:10:33,009 --> 00:10:35,009
I went out with this guy
on Saturday night.
242
00:10:35,008 --> 00:10:36,018
I thought we had
a great time.
243
00:10:36,021 --> 00:10:39,021
The asshole doesn't call me
until Thursday.
244
00:10:39,018 --> 00:10:42,008
I screened his call and didn't
return it until Monday.
245
00:10:42,013 --> 00:10:44,013
I gave my boyfriend
an ultimatum.
246
00:10:44,009 --> 00:10:46,009
Propose by Christmas
or it's over.
247
00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:48,010
My girlfriends said
that was a game.
248
00:10:48,012 --> 00:10:49,022
I think it was just smart.
249
00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:51,010
Besides, if he doesn't
come through,
250
00:10:51,012 --> 00:10:53,022
I can always secretly
get pregnant.
251
00:10:53,018 --> 00:10:58,008
The next day,
I reluctantly showed up for my
second appointment with Dr. G.
252
00:10:58,014 --> 00:11:01,014
I was still a skeptic and I'd
already read every New Yorker
253
00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:02,008
in their waiting room.
254
00:11:02,011 --> 00:11:03,021
When you
think about it,
255
00:11:03,018 --> 00:11:05,018
what was I getting
out of this anyway?
256
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:09,010
And then at five minutes
to my last scheduled hour,
257
00:11:09,008 --> 00:11:10,018
I got my answer.
258
00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:14,011
Hi.
259
00:11:18,012 --> 00:11:20,012
My third appointment
with Dr. G.
260
00:11:20,015 --> 00:11:23,015
I had come a little early
to catch up on my reading.
261
00:11:33,008 --> 00:11:35,008
Hi, I'm Seth.
262
00:11:36,005 --> 00:11:38,995
Oh. Hi, Carrie.
263
00:11:40,007 --> 00:11:41,997
I thought we could go on
playing this coy game
264
00:11:42,006 --> 00:11:44,006
or I could actually
introduce myself.
265
00:11:44,018 --> 00:11:47,018
Well, I'm glad you did.
266
00:11:47,017 --> 00:11:50,007
Especially since I had worn
my new dress for the occasion.
267
00:11:50,015 --> 00:11:52,995
That New Yorker is
from last year.
268
00:11:53,002 --> 00:11:57,022
Oh, well, this New Yorker is
a little behind on her reading.
269
00:11:58,021 --> 00:12:01,001
So how long you been
a Dr. G. convert?
270
00:12:01,006 --> 00:12:04,006
Not very long,
just three sessions.
271
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:07,003
I Just had
my one-year anniversary.
272
00:12:07,006 --> 00:12:09,016
What'd she give you,
a cake or something?
273
00:12:09,017 --> 00:12:10,017
A really big bill.
274
00:12:12,015 --> 00:12:15,005
Listen, this is gonna
sound a little weird, but...
275
00:12:15,021 --> 00:12:18,021
Would you have dinner
with me sometime?
276
00:12:19,023 --> 00:12:21,003
Sure.
277
00:12:21,018 --> 00:12:22,998
I'd like that.
278
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:25,018
Yeah? Um...
279
00:12:27,004 --> 00:12:28,014
Call me, alright?
280
00:12:28,022 --> 00:12:30,022
Okay.
281
00:12:30,021 --> 00:12:33,011
Okay, maybe it was unethical
making a date
282
00:12:33,011 --> 00:12:35,001
with Seth Robinson,
photographer,
283
00:12:35,006 --> 00:12:36,016
in my shrink's
waiting room,
284
00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:39,001
but there was
something about him.
285
00:12:40,008 --> 00:12:41,018
Come on in, Carrie.
286
00:12:43,006 --> 00:12:44,996
Well, you're dressed up.
287
00:12:46,002 --> 00:12:47,022
He's a photographer.
288
00:12:47,023 --> 00:12:49,013
Hmm...
289
00:12:49,011 --> 00:12:51,001
And you met him
at your shrink's?
290
00:12:51,005 --> 00:12:52,995
Well, it wasn't a set up
or anything.
291
00:12:53,017 --> 00:12:55,007
Jeez, what if
he's crazy?
292
00:12:55,010 --> 00:12:58,010
It's the crazy ones
that have the good pills.
293
00:12:58,017 --> 00:13:00,007
Mmm, that's it!
294
00:13:00,009 --> 00:13:02,009
Go, Marcus!
Go!
295
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:05,015
Excuse me, but why is that on
and who is Marcus?
296
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:07,998
Marcus Camby, Knicks forward.
Now that Ewing's been injured,
297
00:13:08,005 --> 00:13:09,995
he really needs to pull it out.
298
00:13:10,003 --> 00:13:12,023
And when did we start
caring about basketball?
299
00:13:13,016 --> 00:13:14,016
Don is obsessed.
300
00:13:14,021 --> 00:13:17,001
I don't get laid
unless the Knicks win.
301
00:13:17,002 --> 00:13:18,012
And can I just say,
302
00:13:18,011 --> 00:13:21,001
they and I have been on
a very long losing streak.
303
00:13:21,004 --> 00:13:22,024
-Well, that's awful.
-No kidding.
304
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:25,010
The Knicks are the only ones who
are getting screwed right now.
305
00:13:25,008 --> 00:13:27,008
C'mon, you fuckers.
306
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:28,995
Why are you
staying with him?
307
00:13:29,004 --> 00:13:30,024
Because the sex...
308
00:13:30,023 --> 00:13:34,023
What I can remember,
it was unbelievable.
309
00:13:35,014 --> 00:13:37,014
Yes, yes!
310
00:13:37,008 --> 00:13:38,008
They won!
311
00:13:38,011 --> 00:13:40,011
Oh, they won!
312
00:13:40,015 --> 00:13:42,015
-I've got to go.
-Go, go.
313
00:13:42,017 --> 00:13:43,017
Have sex.
314
00:13:43,020 --> 00:13:44,020
Go.
315
00:13:46,008 --> 00:13:49,998
The next night, Miranda
got a pleasant surprise.
316
00:13:58,006 --> 00:14:00,016
Her date thought it was time
they moved past peek-a-boo
317
00:14:00,019 --> 00:14:02,009
to playing doctor.
318
00:14:16,005 --> 00:14:18,005
Miranda wanted to play fair,
319
00:14:18,015 --> 00:14:20,015
so she gave him
a little tit for tat.
320
00:14:22,019 --> 00:14:24,019
All over town,
people were getting lucky.
321
00:14:25,001 --> 00:14:28,001
Seth and I were having a great
first date at Coffee Shop.
322
00:14:28,002 --> 00:14:30,012
Oh, oh,
and what about the plant?
323
00:14:30,015 --> 00:14:31,015
Oh, I know.
324
00:14:31,019 --> 00:14:33,009
She always has
it in a different place.
325
00:14:33,007 --> 00:14:36,007
Maybe it's some sort of
Dr. G. psychological test.
326
00:14:36,012 --> 00:14:38,002
That's it,
it's "Where's Waldo?"
327
00:14:38,006 --> 00:14:38,996
Yeah.
328
00:14:39,006 --> 00:14:41,006
Oh, and it needs
to be watered.
329
00:14:42,018 --> 00:14:44,018
It's plastic.
330
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,017
Are you sure?
331
00:14:45,022 --> 00:14:47,022
-I touched it.
332
00:14:48,001 --> 00:14:50,001
You touched
Dr. G's plant?
333
00:14:50,004 --> 00:14:51,014
I've been going
to her over a year.
334
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,016
I got bored.
335
00:14:55,017 --> 00:14:57,017
But then you came along.
336
00:14:58,020 --> 00:15:00,000
Well, that's sweet.
337
00:15:00,006 --> 00:15:01,016
No, it's true.
338
00:15:01,018 --> 00:15:03,008
There was
something about him.
339
00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:05,020
I felt like I could talk to
him about anything.
340
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,020
And in the spirit of
psychological health
341
00:15:07,019 --> 00:15:09,009
and not playing games,
342
00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:11,010
I decided to be honest.
343
00:15:11,015 --> 00:15:12,015
I like you.
344
00:15:14,012 --> 00:15:16,002
I like you, too.
345
00:15:23,010 --> 00:15:26,020
Later that week, Miranda
went shopping for dinner.
346
00:15:42,001 --> 00:15:46,001
Shopping quickly devolved
into a game of hide and seek.
347
00:15:58,011 --> 00:15:59,011
Hi.
348
00:16:00,015 --> 00:16:01,015
I thought I'd be
an adult here
349
00:16:02,001 --> 00:16:05,001
and come over and
introduce myself.
350
00:16:05,004 --> 00:16:06,014
Hi.
351
00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:08,017
I'm Miranda.
352
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:10,012
You know?
353
00:16:14,011 --> 00:16:15,021
Across the air shaft.
354
00:16:16,021 --> 00:16:18,021
Oh, yeah. Right.
355
00:16:18,023 --> 00:16:20,013
You're the girl who
lives above the guy
356
00:16:20,015 --> 00:16:22,005
I've been cruising.
357
00:16:25,003 --> 00:16:27,003
Miranda realized
she was still playing
358
00:16:27,005 --> 00:16:28,995
with an imaginary friend.
359
00:16:29,004 --> 00:16:31,024
Just like she did
when she was five.
360
00:16:31,019 --> 00:16:35,009
The next day she called her
shrink for an emergency session.
361
00:16:35,008 --> 00:16:37,018
Meanwhile, Sam had decided she
would celebrate the end of
362
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,010
the basketball season
and the return of her sex life
363
00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:43,020
by watching the final
Knicks game at Don's.
364
00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:46,011
Sprewell steals the ball,
365
00:16:46,015 --> 00:16:49,005
hands it to Johnson who's gonna
run out the clock...
366
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,998
-Yeah, baby!
367
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:53,020
Come here.
368
00:16:53,023 --> 00:16:55,013
In a minute, baby.
369
00:16:55,011 --> 00:16:57,001
The Mets are
playing Chicago.
370
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,016
Now that basketball is over,
371
00:16:58,019 --> 00:17:00,009
I can give 'em
my full attention.
372
00:17:01,005 --> 00:17:04,015
Man, they've been playing
lousy ball this year.
373
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:08,000
The idea of lasting through
another sexless season
374
00:17:08,004 --> 00:17:10,014
was more than
Samantha could take.
375
00:17:10,013 --> 00:17:11,013
And so...
376
00:17:11,014 --> 00:17:13,014
she forfeited the game.
377
00:17:16,022 --> 00:17:19,012
Meanwhile, I was getting
plenty of action.
378
00:17:19,014 --> 00:17:22,014
Seth and I had just come back
from another amazing date.
379
00:17:22,011 --> 00:17:24,021
You want to come in?
380
00:17:24,023 --> 00:17:27,013
I think I already am.
381
00:17:30,019 --> 00:17:32,019
This is great.
382
00:17:34,004 --> 00:17:35,014
You have all
the classics here.
383
00:17:35,013 --> 00:17:39,013
Clue, Parchesi,
and Twister.
384
00:17:40,003 --> 00:17:43,003
I was the 7th grade
Twister champion.
385
00:17:44,006 --> 00:17:46,006
-Is that a challenge?
-Oh, yeah.
386
00:17:46,009 --> 00:17:48,019
Alright, buddy,
it's go time.
387
00:18:11,021 --> 00:18:13,011
How you holding up?
388
00:18:13,012 --> 00:18:14,022
Feeling good,
my friend.
389
00:18:14,022 --> 00:18:16,022
Feeling good.
390
00:18:18,016 --> 00:18:20,016
Left foot yellow.
391
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,011
I guess that
one's mine.
392
00:18:23,013 --> 00:18:26,003
You're in a very
compromising position.
393
00:18:26,003 --> 00:18:29,023
I believe I'm in about
20 compromising positions.
394
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:35,011
I am not gonna lose my
concentration.
395
00:18:45,013 --> 00:18:48,023
In no time,
it was "Yellow pants off."
396
00:18:48,018 --> 00:18:51,998
So, what do you think Dr. G.
would have to say about this?
397
00:18:53,002 --> 00:18:54,012
Very bad.
398
00:18:55,001 --> 00:18:57,021
Bad patients.
Bad, bad.
399
00:19:01,006 --> 00:19:02,016
I have to tell you.
400
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:06,020
I'm not really into therapy,
I think it's kind of bullshit.
401
00:19:06,020 --> 00:19:08,010
I'm telling
Dr. G. on you.
402
00:19:08,008 --> 00:19:10,008
No, no, no, no.
403
00:19:10,017 --> 00:19:12,017
-Okay.
-Cross your heart?
404
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,008
Hope to die.
405
00:19:17,017 --> 00:19:20,007
So, why are you
in therapy, seriously?
406
00:19:22,005 --> 00:19:23,015
I'm really fucked up
about women.
407
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,020
After I sleep with them,
I completely lose interest.
408
00:19:28,022 --> 00:19:30,022
What about you,
what's your problem?
409
00:19:30,022 --> 00:19:32,012
I believe in therapy
410
00:19:32,008 --> 00:19:34,018
this moment is called,
"the breakthrough."
411
00:19:39,013 --> 00:19:41,013
I pick the wrong men.
412
00:19:50,019 --> 00:19:52,019
Although she had made
some good points,
413
00:19:52,020 --> 00:19:55,000
I stopped seeing Dr. G.
immediately.
414
00:19:55,004 --> 00:19:59,014
I couldn't risk the humiliation
of running into Seth
in the waiting room.
415
00:19:59,012 --> 00:20:01,012
My friends
totally understand.