1 00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:18,020 If you are single, there is one thing 2 00:01:18,020 --> 00:01:20,000 you should always take with you 3 00:01:20,004 --> 00:01:22,014 when you go out on a Saturday night... 4 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:23,015 your friends. 5 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,021 Why are we walking so fast? 6 00:01:25,021 --> 00:01:27,011 Really, are we in that big of a hurry 7 00:01:27,007 --> 00:01:28,007 to get to an engagement party? 8 00:01:28,014 --> 00:01:29,024 What? Don't you guys want to go? 9 00:01:29,019 --> 00:01:31,019 I did until I saw this invitation. 10 00:01:31,019 --> 00:01:33,019 -Yeah, let me see that again. 11 00:01:33,018 --> 00:01:36,008 "Two souls, one thought." Wow, that is sappy. 12 00:01:36,009 --> 00:01:37,019 That is totally not like Danny. 13 00:01:37,021 --> 00:01:39,001 Must've been her idea. 14 00:01:39,006 --> 00:01:40,996 "Two souls, one pushy fiancé." 15 00:01:41,006 --> 00:01:43,006 Oh, come on. It's beautiful. 16 00:01:43,009 --> 00:01:44,999 It's a big, romantic gesture 17 00:01:45,002 --> 00:01:46,022 to express how they feel about each other. 18 00:01:46,017 --> 00:01:48,997 If two people have only one thought between them, 19 00:01:49,005 --> 00:01:50,015 something is very wrong. Oh, cab. 20 00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:53,021 I remember when Danny had more than one thought 21 00:01:53,023 --> 00:01:56,003 and they all involved going up my ass. 22 00:01:56,005 --> 00:01:57,015 -You had sex with Danny? -Yeah. 23 00:01:57,017 --> 00:02:00,007 He's cute, straight, and we've known him for ten years. 24 00:02:00,007 --> 00:02:02,007 Haven't we all had sex with Danny? 25 00:02:02,009 --> 00:02:03,999 Oh, yeah, that one weekend that I was bored. 26 00:02:04,005 --> 00:02:05,015 Just a New Year's Eve kiss. 27 00:02:05,022 --> 00:02:08,012 I showed him a boob in a coat check room. 28 00:02:08,009 --> 00:02:08,999 Just one? 29 00:02:09,006 --> 00:02:10,016 I sensed he couldn't commit. 30 00:02:10,021 --> 00:02:13,001 -Okay, we're over here. 31 00:02:13,016 --> 00:02:14,016 Ooh! 32 00:02:14,021 --> 00:02:16,011 Baby lamb chops. 33 00:02:16,007 --> 00:02:18,007 This is quite a spread. 34 00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:21,012 Two souls, one big budget. 35 00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:24,000 There he was, the fiancé du jour. 36 00:02:24,002 --> 00:02:26,002 Hey! Look who's here! 37 00:02:26,005 --> 00:02:27,015 Congratulations! 38 00:02:27,018 --> 00:02:28,018 Thanks. 39 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,000 And this is my other half, Hailey. 40 00:02:30,006 --> 00:02:31,006 Congratulations! 41 00:02:31,014 --> 00:02:33,024 Hailey, this is Carrie and Charlotte. 42 00:02:33,017 --> 00:02:35,997 Miranda. -Oh, Miranda! 43 00:02:36,003 --> 00:02:39,013 Oh, right, duh! Sorry. 44 00:02:39,009 --> 00:02:40,009 I'm just a little overwhelmed. 45 00:02:40,013 --> 00:02:41,013 Danny! 46 00:02:42,011 --> 00:02:44,001 Couldn't remember my name? 47 00:02:44,006 --> 00:02:46,996 Maybe you should've shown him both boobs. 48 00:02:47,003 --> 00:02:49,023 And across the room from the two-soul couple... 49 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:50,020 I told the other numb-nuts 50 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,010 I wanted a Grey Goose on the rocks 51 00:02:52,007 --> 00:02:53,017 a fucking hour ago. Chop, chop. 52 00:02:53,023 --> 00:02:55,013 A man with no soul. 53 00:02:55,007 --> 00:02:57,997 So, Phil, what is it that you do? 54 00:02:58,006 --> 00:03:00,006 I'm a TV agent. And I fucking love it. 55 00:03:01,022 --> 00:03:04,002 Oh, what a beautiful wedding ring. 56 00:03:04,006 --> 00:03:05,016 Where's your husband? 57 00:03:05,020 --> 00:03:09,000 -Oh, um, he's not here. -Oh. 58 00:03:09,004 --> 00:03:11,014 We're actually taking some time apart. 59 00:03:11,011 --> 00:03:12,011 We're separated. 60 00:03:12,011 --> 00:03:15,001 Not legally separated. Nothing legal. 61 00:03:15,002 --> 00:03:16,002 Oh, God, no. 62 00:03:16,003 --> 00:03:17,023 We're just taking some time 63 00:03:17,019 --> 00:03:18,999 to figure things out. 64 00:03:19,003 --> 00:03:22,013 We got married really fast, "love at first sight." 65 00:03:22,007 --> 00:03:23,017 Didn't think it through. 66 00:03:23,020 --> 00:03:25,020 So now we're talking 67 00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:27,020 and trying to figure out what he-- 68 00:03:27,019 --> 00:03:31,999 actually we, he and I, really want. 69 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:33,023 We love each other so much, 70 00:03:33,017 --> 00:03:36,017 but that doesn't always mean a marriage is working, does it? 71 00:03:36,019 --> 00:03:38,009 No, it does not. 72 00:03:38,014 --> 00:03:40,024 We had some problems in the bedroom. 73 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,020 But it was more about the fact that we got married so fast. 74 00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:46,011 So now we're just talking 75 00:03:46,015 --> 00:03:47,995 and trying to figure things out. 76 00:03:48,003 --> 00:03:49,023 Just talking. Nothing physical. 77 00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:51,021 I think it's better if we just talk. 78 00:03:51,018 --> 00:03:53,008 So we are talking 79 00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:54,015 till we figure it all out. 80 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,010 So, no, he's not here. 81 00:03:57,016 --> 00:03:59,006 Oh, okay. 82 00:03:59,009 --> 00:04:00,019 I have to... 83 00:04:02,003 --> 00:04:04,023 Don't talk to her. 84 00:04:04,018 --> 00:04:07,998 Charlotte realized that she and Trey were two souls 85 00:04:08,002 --> 00:04:09,022 with too many thoughts. 86 00:04:09,023 --> 00:04:11,023 The minute we met it was perfect. 87 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,000 I knew we were meant to be together. 88 00:04:14,002 --> 00:04:16,022 I could stop looking. I had found him! 89 00:04:17,001 --> 00:04:18,011 Congratulations! 90 00:04:18,016 --> 00:04:19,996 What about you guys? 91 00:04:20,002 --> 00:04:22,022 Oh. Well, I'm not dating anyone. 92 00:04:22,018 --> 00:04:23,998 And what about you, Miranda? 93 00:04:24,006 --> 00:04:25,016 Seeing anyone special? 94 00:04:25,018 --> 00:04:26,008 Actually, no. 95 00:04:26,014 --> 00:04:27,024 But I am seeing a whole bunch 96 00:04:27,018 --> 00:04:28,998 of un-special guys. 97 00:04:30,006 --> 00:04:31,016 That's one of the requirements to date me. 98 00:04:31,022 --> 00:04:34,002 "Are you special? Sorry, move along. 99 00:04:34,005 --> 00:04:35,015 But if you have any un-special friends 100 00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:36,021 could you give them my number?" 101 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,020 -I'm serious. 102 00:04:38,020 --> 00:04:41,010 Do any of you have a completely unremarkable friend 103 00:04:41,009 --> 00:04:44,019 or maybe a house plant I could go to dinner with on Saturday night? 104 00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:46,011 She's hilarious. 105 00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:53,020 Hey, what the hell was going on in there? 106 00:04:53,017 --> 00:04:54,997 I felt like your little comedy routine 107 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:56,013 should have a two-drink minimum. 108 00:04:56,013 --> 00:04:59,013 We were standing in a group of married or engaged women. 109 00:04:59,013 --> 00:05:01,013 I'm just trying to avoid the pity party. 110 00:05:01,011 --> 00:05:03,011 And here I thought it was a cocktail party. 111 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,011 We were the only single people in there. 112 00:05:05,013 --> 00:05:08,003 Miranda, we're the only single people anywhere. 113 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,013 Are you telling me that you didn't see all those 114 00:05:10,014 --> 00:05:14,014 "Don't worry, you'll find someone" looks? 115 00:05:14,007 --> 00:05:15,007 Nope, didn't see 'em. 116 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:18,000 Hey, society views single people our age 117 00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:19,012 as sad and pathetic. 118 00:05:19,010 --> 00:05:21,010 And I don't need that judgment hanging over my head. 119 00:05:21,012 --> 00:05:23,012 So I go on the offensive and I make them laugh. 120 00:05:23,014 --> 00:05:24,024 Okay, Shecky. 121 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,010 You know what? 122 00:05:27,011 --> 00:05:29,011 Sometimes I think people in couples look at us 123 00:05:29,012 --> 00:05:30,022 and wish they had our lives. 124 00:05:30,023 --> 00:05:31,023 Nope. 125 00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:33,000 We make them uncomfortable 126 00:05:33,006 --> 00:05:34,016 and they don't know what to say. 127 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:37,001 And you're sure you're not overreacting? 128 00:05:37,005 --> 00:05:38,005 Yeah. 129 00:05:45,004 --> 00:05:46,024 Coming! 130 00:05:48,012 --> 00:05:50,002 Good God. 131 00:05:50,015 --> 00:05:51,015 Yes? 132 00:05:54,018 --> 00:05:56,018 What are we doing? 133 00:05:56,018 --> 00:05:58,008 Goodnight then. 134 00:05:58,015 --> 00:05:59,995 Charlotte. 135 00:06:00,003 --> 00:06:02,023 My God, I thought it was the four horsemen of the apocalypse. 136 00:06:02,021 --> 00:06:04,001 I cannot go to any more parties 137 00:06:04,006 --> 00:06:06,006 until I know what we're going to do! 138 00:06:06,011 --> 00:06:07,021 About what? 139 00:06:07,017 --> 00:06:08,017 Us! 140 00:06:10,015 --> 00:06:12,005 I've been up for hours trying to figure out 141 00:06:12,011 --> 00:06:13,021 if we should stay together in spite of our issues. 142 00:06:14,001 --> 00:06:16,021 Look, I don't want to confuse you, so I made some notes. 143 00:06:17,015 --> 00:06:18,015 You made some notes? 144 00:06:18,021 --> 00:06:20,021 Yeah, it helps me to be clear. 145 00:06:20,021 --> 00:06:23,011 sex life. 146 00:06:23,013 --> 00:06:25,023 Well, the sex we had on the floor of your apartment 147 00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:27,007 was, uh... was quite good, actually. 148 00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:28,023 One time. 149 00:06:28,017 --> 00:06:30,997 That does not a marriage make. 150 00:06:31,004 --> 00:06:33,014 Come inside. Maybe we can rack up a new score. 151 00:06:33,011 --> 00:06:38,011 you only want me when you can't have me. 152 00:06:38,014 --> 00:06:40,014 Did you make a note in there that mentions 153 00:06:40,007 --> 00:06:42,017 how beautiful you look tonight? 154 00:06:47,021 --> 00:06:50,011 Oh, we have some big decisions to make. 155 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,000 Trey... 156 00:06:56,006 --> 00:06:57,016 You have a boner. 157 00:06:57,020 --> 00:06:59,010 Well, you are just so beautiful. 158 00:06:59,014 --> 00:07:02,004 I cannot discuss my notes if you have a boner. 159 00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:03,006 -Come inside. -Oh! 160 00:07:03,014 --> 00:07:07,014 -I cannot come inside. We are separated. -Aw... 161 00:07:09,009 --> 00:07:10,019 I have more notes. 162 00:07:10,022 --> 00:07:12,022 I think about you every night. 163 00:07:13,001 --> 00:07:14,011 May I take off your panties? 164 00:07:14,010 --> 00:07:16,010 -Don't. -All righty. 165 00:07:18,011 --> 00:07:21,011 You said you didn't want to be married. 166 00:07:21,012 --> 00:07:24,022 But now, I just, I don't know if I want to be married. 167 00:07:24,017 --> 00:07:26,017 Oh, oh! 168 00:07:27,008 --> 00:07:28,008 Oh! Oh! 169 00:07:28,013 --> 00:07:31,023 Trey, are you--? 170 00:07:31,017 --> 00:07:35,007 That night, neither Charlotte nor Trey came inside. 171 00:07:39,013 --> 00:07:41,013 I'm not quite sure what to say. 172 00:07:42,019 --> 00:07:44,999 I'm sorry, Charlotte, May I get you a hankie? 173 00:07:46,002 --> 00:07:48,002 It's too late for a hankie. 174 00:07:49,016 --> 00:07:51,006 This isn't working. 175 00:07:53,020 --> 00:07:57,020 Whatever this is we're doing, it isn't working. 176 00:08:04,010 --> 00:08:07,020 Just... please, stop calling me. 177 00:08:07,023 --> 00:08:10,023 I'll call you when I've figured out what I want. 178 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,020 Charlotte... I love you. 179 00:08:15,002 --> 00:08:16,022 Send me the dry cleaning bill. 180 00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,997 Trey may have had a lot of flaws, 181 00:08:18,005 --> 00:08:20,005 but bad manners wasn't one of them. 182 00:08:28,002 --> 00:08:31,012 It was a lovely, uneventful Saturday morning. 183 00:08:31,015 --> 00:08:34,005 Three lattes, two newspapers, and... 184 00:08:37,003 --> 00:08:39,003 one dating service application. 185 00:08:40,001 --> 00:08:41,011 "Dear single"... 186 00:08:41,010 --> 00:08:42,020 Single? You don't even have a name? 187 00:08:42,023 --> 00:08:44,023 Well, I'm single. I don't deserve one. 188 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:47,013 That's the postal equivalent of a drive-by shooting. 189 00:08:47,013 --> 00:08:49,023 Yeah, and I thought those 57 menus I get every day 190 00:08:49,019 --> 00:08:51,009 from Hunan Moonan were annoying. 191 00:08:51,011 --> 00:08:54,021 Look at this, "Don't let your soul mate slip away." 192 00:08:54,019 --> 00:08:55,999 Oh, I know, it's almost a threat. 193 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:58,013 It's like, "We have him. He's just waiting for you. 194 00:08:58,008 --> 00:09:00,998 But hurry, 'cause he's slipping, slipping away. Oops, there he goes." 195 00:09:01,002 --> 00:09:03,022 Soul mates only exist in the Hallmark aisle 196 00:09:03,018 --> 00:09:05,998 -in Duane Reade Drugs. -I disagree. 197 00:09:06,005 --> 00:09:09,995 I believe that there's that one perfect person out there to complete you. 198 00:09:10,006 --> 00:09:11,006 And if you don't find him? 199 00:09:11,011 --> 00:09:14,011 What, you're incomplete? It's so dangerous. 200 00:09:14,013 --> 00:09:15,023 All right, first of all, 201 00:09:15,017 --> 00:09:17,017 the idea that there's only one out there? 202 00:09:18,001 --> 00:09:20,001 I mean, why don't I just shoot myself right now? 203 00:09:20,003 --> 00:09:23,013 I'd like to think that people have more than one soul mate. 204 00:09:23,009 --> 00:09:24,019 I agree, I've had hundreds. 205 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,020 Yeah! And you know what? If you miss one, along comes another. 206 00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:29,020 -Like cabs. -No, that is not how it works. 207 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,010 Oh, okay. 208 00:09:31,012 --> 00:09:33,012 But you're still looking outside yourself. 209 00:09:33,007 --> 00:09:34,997 It's saying that you're not enough. 210 00:09:35,004 --> 00:09:37,024 -Are you enough? -Actually, today she's too much. 211 00:09:37,018 --> 00:09:40,008 Look, the bad thing about the "one perfect soul mate" 212 00:09:40,009 --> 00:09:42,999 is that it's so unattainable. You're being set up to fail. 213 00:09:43,003 --> 00:09:45,013 Exactly! And you feel bad about yourself. 214 00:09:45,013 --> 00:09:49,013 Yeah, and it makes the gap between the Holy Grail and the assholes even bigger. 215 00:09:49,013 --> 00:09:50,023 Well, I don't care. 216 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,013 I believe in soul mates. 217 00:09:52,016 --> 00:09:54,006 I thought Trey was mine. 218 00:09:54,009 --> 00:09:57,009 But I don't think that a soul mate would... 219 00:09:58,005 --> 00:09:58,015 on your leg. 220 00:09:59,001 --> 00:10:00,021 -Mm. -Yeah. Probably true. 221 00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:02,011 But there's got to be that someone out there 222 00:10:02,013 --> 00:10:03,023 who's just perfect for me. 223 00:10:03,023 --> 00:10:05,023 Maybe I should keep looking. 224 00:10:05,018 --> 00:10:07,018 Here you go. 225 00:10:07,017 --> 00:10:09,017 Okay, we're filling this out. 226 00:10:09,022 --> 00:10:11,012 No, I'm not in the mood. 227 00:10:11,014 --> 00:10:12,024 Not for you. For her. 228 00:10:12,023 --> 00:10:14,013 -Oh, okay! -No. 229 00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:15,023 Yes! 230 00:10:15,021 --> 00:10:16,021 "Age... check box." 231 00:10:16,022 --> 00:10:20,012 "20-25, 25-30, 30-34." 232 00:10:20,009 --> 00:10:22,009 Oh, no, not after next week. 233 00:10:22,011 --> 00:10:24,001 Birthday girl. 234 00:10:24,006 --> 00:10:25,016 35. 235 00:10:25,022 --> 00:10:27,002 "35-44." 236 00:10:27,006 --> 00:10:29,016 Honey, welcome to my box. 237 00:10:35,021 --> 00:10:36,021 Soul mate. 238 00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:39,021 Two little words, one big concept. 239 00:10:40,001 --> 00:10:42,011 A belief that someone, somewhere, 240 00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,016 is holding the key to your heart 241 00:10:44,022 --> 00:10:46,012 and your dream house. 242 00:10:46,007 --> 00:10:48,007 All you have to do is find them. 243 00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:51,014 So... where is this person? 244 00:10:51,010 --> 00:10:54,010 And if you loved someone and it didn't work out, 245 00:10:54,010 --> 00:10:56,020 does that mean they weren't your soul mate? 246 00:10:56,019 --> 00:10:59,009 Were they just a runner-up contestant in this game show 247 00:10:59,016 --> 00:11:01,006 called "Happily Ever After"? 248 00:11:01,015 --> 00:11:05,005 And as you move from age box to age box, 249 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:08,012 and the contestants get fewer and fewer, 250 00:11:08,010 --> 00:11:12,010 are your chances of finding your soul mate less and less? 251 00:11:12,014 --> 00:11:15,024 Soul mates, reality or torture device? 252 00:11:17,013 --> 00:11:19,013 What about a little birthday dinner? 253 00:11:19,013 --> 00:11:21,023 Il Cantinori, something nice. 254 00:11:21,022 --> 00:11:22,022 Hmm. 255 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,010 I'm not sure I want to do anything. 256 00:11:24,010 --> 00:11:26,000 I'm kind of into laying low. 257 00:11:26,003 --> 00:11:27,023 Laying low or feeling low? 258 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,020 No, I'm fine. 259 00:11:29,019 --> 00:11:32,009 Oh, come on. You've got to do better than that. 260 00:11:32,015 --> 00:11:34,015 You've got to grab 35 by the balls and say, 261 00:11:34,019 --> 00:11:35,999 "Hey, world, I'm 35!" 262 00:11:36,003 --> 00:11:37,023 Okay, calm down, Auntie Mame. 263 00:11:37,019 --> 00:11:38,999 I'll put the dinner together. 264 00:11:39,005 --> 00:11:40,005 All you have to do is show up. 265 00:11:40,014 --> 00:11:43,014 Just close friends. Very "fabulous-lite." 266 00:11:44,012 --> 00:11:46,012 All right, yeah. 267 00:11:46,007 --> 00:11:48,007 That sounds fun. Thank you. 268 00:11:49,017 --> 00:11:51,007 Should I invite Big? 269 00:11:51,015 --> 00:11:54,015 What, are you slowly trying to kill me on the way to lunch? 270 00:11:54,021 --> 00:11:57,011 Well, technically, you are friends now, right? 271 00:11:57,014 --> 00:12:00,004 Uh, you know, a phone call here and there. 272 00:12:00,002 --> 00:12:02,012 It's friendly. Why? Do you think I should invite him? 273 00:12:02,009 --> 00:12:03,019 Oh, honey, how should I know? 274 00:12:03,018 --> 00:12:06,018 When I'm done with them, I'm done with them. 275 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,007 Maybe not. Besides, I think he's still in London. 276 00:12:08,013 --> 00:12:11,013 Let's just keep it to low-maintenance friends. 277 00:12:11,015 --> 00:12:12,015 All right. 278 00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:16,011 Hey, welcome. Come in, come in. 279 00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:19,012 He is hot. 280 00:12:19,014 --> 00:12:21,004 He is a priest. 281 00:12:21,002 --> 00:12:22,022 He is a hot priest. 282 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:23,020 Look at his robe, 283 00:12:24,001 --> 00:12:27,011 it's so "Robin and his Merry Men." 284 00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:28,020 Esta bien, gracias. 285 00:12:28,018 --> 00:12:31,998 Oh, you tell 'em, Friar Fuck. 286 00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:36,004 Okay, sister, let's go. 287 00:12:36,002 --> 00:12:37,012 I'm not gonna lose my table at Pastis 288 00:12:37,013 --> 00:12:39,003 so you can cruise a holy man. 289 00:12:39,005 --> 00:12:41,015 What street are we on again? 290 00:12:41,018 --> 00:12:44,018 That Sunday, Samantha went to church. 291 00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:53,013 -Good morning. -Good morning. 292 00:12:53,013 --> 00:12:55,013 I couldn't help but notice all the good work 293 00:12:55,014 --> 00:12:56,024 you're doing in the neighborhood. 294 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,020 And I just stopped to see if I could be of service. 295 00:12:59,017 --> 00:13:01,997 Well, we could use another hand in the kitchen. 296 00:13:03,009 --> 00:13:04,999 I'm in public relations 297 00:13:05,002 --> 00:13:08,002 and I was thinking maybe I could help put a benefit together. 298 00:13:08,005 --> 00:13:10,005 Something classy, respectful. 299 00:13:10,013 --> 00:13:14,013 I can guarantee Donald Trump and Marlo Thomas. 300 00:13:14,007 --> 00:13:15,007 Well, thank you But here at All Souls 301 00:13:15,015 --> 00:13:17,005 we're a little more low-key than that. 302 00:13:17,011 --> 00:13:19,011 We're more about collecting food, canned goods, 303 00:13:19,014 --> 00:13:20,024 to feed to the needy. 304 00:13:22,003 --> 00:13:23,023 So... 305 00:13:23,018 --> 00:13:25,008 I love your robe. 306 00:13:25,011 --> 00:13:27,011 Well, this is what we wear. 307 00:13:27,008 --> 00:13:29,018 I'm in the Franciscan order founded by St. Francis. 308 00:13:29,022 --> 00:13:33,002 -Oh. -And the robe is, uh... 309 00:13:33,004 --> 00:13:35,014 do you really want to hear about this? 310 00:13:35,009 --> 00:13:38,009 Oh, tell me more about this St. Francis. 311 00:13:38,012 --> 00:13:42,012 Well, he lived his life based on the vows of poverty and chastity. 312 00:13:43,007 --> 00:13:44,007 Here... 313 00:13:48,005 --> 00:13:49,995 It's St. Francis giving his coat to the poor. 314 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:59,013 Samantha Jones, public relations. 315 00:13:59,013 --> 00:14:02,003 If you change your mind about the benefit... 316 00:14:03,004 --> 00:14:04,014 or anything. 317 00:14:08,011 --> 00:14:09,021 And just like that, 318 00:14:09,021 --> 00:14:14,011 Samantha went from Mr. No Soul to Mr. All Souls. 319 00:14:17,017 --> 00:14:21,007 After church, most people go out for pancakes... 320 00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:23,020 Samantha wasn't most people. 321 00:14:31,008 --> 00:14:33,998 ♪ Ahh... ♪ 322 00:14:41,016 --> 00:14:43,016 Samantha, your face is glowing. 323 00:14:43,021 --> 00:14:46,011 Did you get a facial or something? 324 00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:48,011 I masturbated all afternoon. 325 00:14:48,015 --> 00:14:49,015 All right, then. 326 00:14:49,017 --> 00:14:51,007 Seriously? All afternoon? 327 00:14:51,013 --> 00:14:52,023 Well, two, two and a half hours. 328 00:14:53,001 --> 00:14:54,011 Who's got that kind of time? 329 00:14:54,007 --> 00:14:55,017 I like to get in and get out. 330 00:14:55,021 --> 00:14:57,021 Well, I enjoy a quickie every now and then too, 331 00:14:57,021 --> 00:15:00,011 but when it's good like today, I go with it. 332 00:15:00,013 --> 00:15:02,023 I masturbated to my priest. 333 00:15:02,020 --> 00:15:05,010 -Your priest? -Friar Fuck. 334 00:15:05,008 --> 00:15:07,018 Okay, I think we might have to get Charlotte a crash helmet. 335 00:15:07,019 --> 00:15:08,999 You have a priest? 336 00:15:09,006 --> 00:15:12,006 No, no, no. She wants him, but she can't have him. 337 00:15:12,014 --> 00:15:14,014 It's all very Thornbirds. 338 00:15:14,008 --> 00:15:17,018 In my fantasy, he tears the food I'm carrying for the homeless 339 00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:20,021 out of my arms, rips open my dress, 340 00:15:20,021 --> 00:15:24,001 lays me down in the street, and enters me. 341 00:15:24,006 --> 00:15:26,996 What do you do for the next two hours and 20 minutes? 342 00:15:27,002 --> 00:15:29,012 Stop! You are talking about a priest. 343 00:15:29,007 --> 00:15:30,007 It's a fantasy. 344 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,012 I can masturbate to whomever I like! 345 00:15:32,016 --> 00:15:33,006 It's imagination. 346 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:36,006 It's fun, and perfectly healthy. 347 00:15:36,008 --> 00:15:38,018 Who do you all fantasize about? 348 00:15:38,018 --> 00:15:39,018 -Russell Crowe. -Russell Crowe. 349 00:15:39,018 --> 00:15:40,018 Ah, jinx! 350 00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,023 You owe me a coke. 351 00:15:41,021 --> 00:15:43,001 That's amazing. 352 00:15:43,005 --> 00:15:45,005 What did women do before Russell Crowe? 353 00:15:45,013 --> 00:15:47,003 -George Clooney. -George Clooney. 354 00:15:47,006 --> 00:15:49,006 Ah, Clooney. 355 00:15:49,007 --> 00:15:50,007 Clooney's like a Chanel suit. 356 00:15:50,016 --> 00:15:51,996 He'll always be in style. 357 00:15:52,005 --> 00:15:54,005 I used to masturbate to a busboy 358 00:15:54,009 --> 00:15:55,009 who was rude to me once. 359 00:15:55,013 --> 00:15:57,003 What do you think that means? 360 00:15:59,013 --> 00:16:01,013 Fine, the cheese stands alone. 361 00:16:01,013 --> 00:16:02,023 Oh, come on, Charlotte. 362 00:16:02,023 --> 00:16:05,013 Get that judgmental puss off and join in. 363 00:16:05,011 --> 00:16:07,001 Who do you fantasize about? 364 00:16:07,006 --> 00:16:09,006 No, it's... private. 365 00:16:09,015 --> 00:16:12,015 Oh, come on, it can't be any worse than a priest and a busboy. 366 00:16:12,019 --> 00:16:16,009 We're not moving on till you tell us about one of your masturbation guys. 367 00:16:17,007 --> 00:16:19,007 It's not guys. 368 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:22,002 Lately, it's just one man. 369 00:16:22,005 --> 00:16:23,005 L.L. Bean? 370 00:16:24,005 --> 00:16:24,995 No... 371 00:16:26,007 --> 00:16:27,007 Trey. 372 00:16:28,014 --> 00:16:32,024 And we have this really, you know, perfect sex. 373 00:16:33,018 --> 00:16:35,008 What do you think it means? 374 00:16:51,004 --> 00:16:53,014 This is 459-1905. 375 00:16:53,010 --> 00:16:55,010 I'm not in, so please leave a message. 376 00:16:56,007 --> 00:16:57,007 Hey. Uh... 377 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,006 I think you're still in England, 378 00:16:59,014 --> 00:17:02,024 but, uh, it's midnight here in New York 379 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,021 and it's my birthday. 380 00:17:05,017 --> 00:17:07,007 I am officially old. 381 00:17:07,014 --> 00:17:11,014 So, um, I felt the need to call someone... 382 00:17:12,004 --> 00:17:13,024 older. Ha ha. 383 00:17:13,023 --> 00:17:15,023 Um, anyway... 384 00:17:15,022 --> 00:17:17,022 some friends are giving me a dinner tomorrow night-- 385 00:17:17,023 --> 00:17:20,023 well, actually, it's tonight. And you're a friend, 386 00:17:20,023 --> 00:17:23,023 so, um, if you are back in town, 387 00:17:23,020 --> 00:17:28,000 it's going to be at Il Cantinori, at 8:30. 388 00:17:28,004 --> 00:17:32,024 And if you're still in London, 389 00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,020 then, uh, cheerio, old chap. 390 00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:37,021 So, okay. 391 00:17:44,001 --> 00:17:46,001 The next day on Wall Street... 392 00:17:46,006 --> 00:17:47,006 Miranda? 393 00:17:48,015 --> 00:17:49,995 Sheila, hi! 394 00:17:50,004 --> 00:17:51,024 -How are you? -I'm fantastic! 395 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,020 Oh, gosh, Joe and I just got back from New Orleans. 396 00:17:54,021 --> 00:17:58,011 So how are you? Are you seeing anyone special? 397 00:17:58,008 --> 00:18:00,008 But Miranda wasn't feeling very Shecky. 398 00:18:00,011 --> 00:18:01,021 Actually, no, I'm not. 399 00:18:01,018 --> 00:18:03,018 Well, look, he's out there for you somewhere. 400 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,020 You just haven't met him yet, right? 401 00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,017 Maybe, maybe not. 402 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,999 I don't know if I believe all that. 403 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:12,015 Maybe there isn't someone for everyone. 404 00:18:12,018 --> 00:18:14,018 There it was... the truth. 405 00:18:15,001 --> 00:18:18,001 No Hallmark hope, no two-drink minimum. 406 00:18:18,003 --> 00:18:19,013 So how is Joe? 407 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:21,000 You guys have been married for how many years now? 408 00:18:21,006 --> 00:18:22,016 -Five. -Wow. 409 00:18:22,022 --> 00:18:24,022 And I bet you're thinking, where are the kids, right? 410 00:18:24,022 --> 00:18:26,022 Right? Well, it's like I said to Joe. 411 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:31,011 I mean, we can have kids, or we can have gorgeous fabric without chocolate stains. 412 00:18:31,007 --> 00:18:34,017 Miranda realized it's not just about being single... 413 00:18:34,021 --> 00:18:38,011 Everyone has a sore spot that needs a little comedy routine. 414 00:18:38,013 --> 00:18:40,003 ... let alone a poopy diaper. 415 00:18:40,005 --> 00:18:41,995 And so Miranda laughed. 416 00:18:42,006 --> 00:18:44,016 Not because it was particularly funny, 417 00:18:44,017 --> 00:18:46,017 but because it was kind. 418 00:18:55,011 --> 00:18:57,001 They told me you were inside. 419 00:18:58,007 --> 00:18:59,017 Am I disturbing you? 420 00:19:01,001 --> 00:19:02,021 May I join you? 421 00:19:15,005 --> 00:19:17,015 I was thinking about you yesterday. 422 00:19:17,021 --> 00:19:20,001 You and the work that you do. 423 00:19:22,010 --> 00:19:23,020 I was at the market. 424 00:19:30,023 --> 00:19:32,023 They're Le Sueur peas. 425 00:19:33,014 --> 00:19:35,024 They're the best. 426 00:19:35,017 --> 00:19:37,017 That's very kind. 427 00:19:37,019 --> 00:19:38,019 Thank you. 428 00:19:42,012 --> 00:19:45,012 I have a confession to make. 429 00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:48,021 I think about you other places than the market. 430 00:19:51,006 --> 00:19:53,016 Do you ever think about me? 431 00:19:55,004 --> 00:19:56,024 I believe that God made the body... 432 00:19:57,020 --> 00:19:59,020 and it's perfect in its splendor. 433 00:20:01,012 --> 00:20:03,002 But I am not of my body. 434 00:20:04,015 --> 00:20:07,015 My life is about other joys. 435 00:20:18,019 --> 00:20:22,009 Samantha wondered if maybe the hot monk was her soul mate 436 00:20:22,008 --> 00:20:24,998 as he was certainly unattainable. 437 00:20:26,006 --> 00:20:29,006 I arrived at my party after a day of shopping. 438 00:20:29,016 --> 00:20:30,996 With no true soul mate, 439 00:20:31,005 --> 00:20:33,995 I spent the afternoon with my shoe soul mate, 440 00:20:34,003 --> 00:20:35,013 Manolo Blahnik. 441 00:20:35,008 --> 00:20:36,018 Oh, good evening. Can I help you? 442 00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,020 Ah, yes, Bradshaw, party of ten. 443 00:20:40,018 --> 00:20:42,008 Yes. You're the first to arrive. 444 00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:43,018 -Oh. -Follow me, please. 445 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,010 It's quarter to nine. The reservation was for 8:30, right? 446 00:20:50,009 --> 00:20:51,009 -Yeah, that's right. -Okay. 447 00:20:51,013 --> 00:20:52,023 Here you go. 448 00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:55,999 -Enjoy. -Thank you. 449 00:20:58,017 --> 00:20:59,997 Hi. -Hi. 450 00:21:00,004 --> 00:21:01,024 Would you like a drink whilst you're waiting? 451 00:21:01,022 --> 00:21:03,012 Ah, yeah. 452 00:21:03,008 --> 00:21:05,008 I'll have a Shirley Temple, please. 453 00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:06,023 Once everyone else gets here, 454 00:21:06,017 --> 00:21:08,007 we're gonna be drinking a lot of champagne. 455 00:21:08,010 --> 00:21:10,010 Good, great, excellent. 456 00:21:20,023 --> 00:21:24,013 Twenty minutes later, still no party... 457 00:21:27,017 --> 00:21:29,017 Hi. Still alone. 458 00:21:29,017 --> 00:21:32,997 Um, did anyone call asking for Bradshaw? 459 00:21:33,002 --> 00:21:34,022 Not that I'm aware of. 460 00:21:34,020 --> 00:21:36,010 Let me check with the maître d'. 461 00:21:36,015 --> 00:21:37,995 Okay, thanks. 462 00:21:40,022 --> 00:21:42,022 Can I bring you some champagne now? 463 00:21:43,012 --> 00:21:44,022 No, not yet. 464 00:21:44,019 --> 00:21:47,009 Good, great, excellent. 465 00:21:49,007 --> 00:21:56,017 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 466 00:21:57,000 --> 00:22:01,010 ♪ Happy birthday, dear Marta ♪ 467 00:22:01,014 --> 00:22:05,014 ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪ 468 00:22:05,013 --> 00:22:07,003 Twenty-five! 469 00:22:07,006 --> 00:22:08,016 Fuck, I'm old! 470 00:22:20,016 --> 00:22:21,016 Hi. 471 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,000 I'm sorry for holding the table. 472 00:22:24,006 --> 00:22:25,016 I can't imagine where everybody is. 473 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,010 There is only one Il Cantinori, right? 474 00:22:28,016 --> 00:22:30,006 -Yes. -Okay. 475 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:35,005 Um, the woman with the birthday cake is here. 476 00:22:35,007 --> 00:22:36,997 And she needs to be paid. 477 00:22:37,019 --> 00:22:40,009 Oh, okay. 478 00:22:40,008 --> 00:22:41,998 I'll just get my purse. 479 00:22:44,006 --> 00:22:47,016 After I paid $70 for my own birthday cake, 480 00:22:47,023 --> 00:22:50,013 I was totally out of the party mood. 481 00:22:50,009 --> 00:22:52,999 So I decided to go home and kill myself. 482 00:22:53,002 --> 00:22:54,022 Hey! Whoa, whoa, lady. Lady! What are you doing? 483 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,000 -Get off of there! -Get off! 484 00:22:56,003 --> 00:22:57,023 -Look where you're standing! -Get off! 485 00:22:57,017 --> 00:22:59,017 It's wet there. It's wet! Get the hell off there! 486 00:22:59,018 --> 00:23:00,998 -Get off! Take the other way! -Go the other way! 487 00:23:01,005 --> 00:23:02,015 The other way for Chrissake! 488 00:23:03,001 --> 00:23:05,021 Will ya stop? Oh, for crying out loud! 489 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,000 Hey! Shit! 490 00:23:12,009 --> 00:23:14,019 Oh, Jesus Christ! Don't pick up... 491 00:23:14,019 --> 00:23:15,999 She's picking it up! 492 00:23:18,013 --> 00:23:19,013 I'm sorry! 493 00:23:19,014 --> 00:23:21,024 Marilyn Monroe, do me a fuckin' favor 494 00:23:21,020 --> 00:23:22,020 and get off the road! 495 00:23:22,022 --> 00:23:24,012 I'm sorry! 496 00:23:24,009 --> 00:23:26,019 Sorry! Hey, listen, we'll bring some beer over and we'll... 497 00:23:26,020 --> 00:23:28,020 Shit! I'm sorry! 498 00:23:29,001 --> 00:23:30,001 God! 499 00:23:31,008 --> 00:23:32,008 By the time I got home, 500 00:23:32,016 --> 00:23:34,016 I had fallen into an emotional hole so deep, 501 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,020 only a fireman without a collarbone could rescue me. 502 00:23:39,001 --> 00:23:41,021 You have 14 messages. 503 00:23:41,021 --> 00:23:44,021 Honey, I'm trapped at work, I'll be ten minutes late. 504 00:23:44,020 --> 00:23:47,020 The reservation line is busy. I'll see you soon. 505 00:23:47,018 --> 00:23:49,008 Carrie, I'm in traffic. 506 00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:51,001 They're paving fifth avenue. 507 00:23:51,002 --> 00:23:52,022 No one can get through. Don't wait for me. 508 00:23:52,021 --> 00:23:54,021 Happy birthday! 509 00:23:54,022 --> 00:23:56,012 I'm stuck in fucking traffic. 510 00:23:56,007 --> 00:23:57,997 I don't know how to spell Il Cantinori 511 00:23:58,006 --> 00:23:59,006 for the idiot at 411. 512 00:23:59,014 --> 00:24:01,014 Get a cell phone! 513 00:24:01,013 --> 00:24:03,013 Carrie, it's Stanford. 514 00:24:03,009 --> 00:24:04,019 I'm at the wrong place. 515 00:24:05,001 --> 00:24:06,011 Did you know there's a Mexican restaurant 516 00:24:06,013 --> 00:24:09,013 on University and 11th called El Cantinoro? 517 00:24:14,012 --> 00:24:15,022 Carrie! 518 00:24:15,020 --> 00:24:18,000 Okay, I'm here. They said you just left. 519 00:24:18,002 --> 00:24:19,022 Where are you? We're still here. 520 00:24:21,015 --> 00:24:23,015 Okay, so now we're coming uptown. 521 00:24:23,019 --> 00:24:25,019 Meet you at the coffee shop in 20 minutes. 522 00:24:25,023 --> 00:24:28,013 End of messages. 523 00:24:28,014 --> 00:24:29,014 Carrie? 524 00:24:31,009 --> 00:24:32,009 It's just me! 525 00:24:32,015 --> 00:24:34,005 It's just me, Charlotte! 526 00:24:36,021 --> 00:24:38,021 I just aged 35 more years. 527 00:24:42,007 --> 00:24:43,007 What are you doing here? 528 00:24:43,014 --> 00:24:46,014 I'm sorry, I came to take you to the coffee shop. 529 00:24:46,016 --> 00:24:48,006 No, uh-uh, I'm going to bed. 530 00:24:48,010 --> 00:24:50,010 I am not in the mood to be with a bunch of people. 531 00:24:50,009 --> 00:24:51,999 Oh, c'mon, it's just the four of us. 532 00:24:52,003 --> 00:24:53,013 You have to come, it's your birthday. 533 00:24:53,016 --> 00:24:56,996 Oh, I am aware of that. 534 00:25:00,013 --> 00:25:03,003 The longer I sat at that table, the more alone I felt. 535 00:25:03,006 --> 00:25:04,016 And it really hit me. 536 00:25:04,018 --> 00:25:06,018 I am 35 and alone. 537 00:25:06,020 --> 00:25:08,000 You are not alone. 538 00:25:08,004 --> 00:25:11,014 No, I know I have you guys, but... 539 00:25:11,011 --> 00:25:14,021 And I really, I hate myself a little for saying this, but... 540 00:25:18,002 --> 00:25:19,012 it felt really sad... 541 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,000 not to have a man in my life who cares about me. 542 00:25:26,011 --> 00:25:29,001 No special guy to wish me happy birthday. 543 00:25:32,003 --> 00:25:34,003 No goddamn soul mate. 544 00:25:36,004 --> 00:25:38,014 And I don't even know if I believe in soul mates. 545 00:25:46,003 --> 00:25:47,023 Don't laugh at me, but... 546 00:25:49,005 --> 00:25:51,015 maybe we could be each other's soul mates. 547 00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:56,000 And then we could let men be just these 548 00:25:56,005 --> 00:25:58,015 great, nice guys to have fun with. 549 00:26:01,014 --> 00:26:04,024 Well, that sounds like a plan. 550 00:26:05,014 --> 00:26:08,004 I'm 35, 35 is not 25. 551 00:26:08,003 --> 00:26:10,003 Thank God. 552 00:26:10,002 --> 00:26:12,012 I'm 35. 553 00:26:12,012 --> 00:26:15,022 Oh, shut the fuck up, I'm 140. 554 00:26:54,021 --> 00:26:56,001 Hey. 555 00:27:04,016 --> 00:27:05,996 Happy birthday, baby. 556 00:27:07,013 --> 00:27:08,023 Get in. 557 00:27:10,007 --> 00:27:11,997 It's after twelve, you're late. 558 00:27:12,006 --> 00:27:13,016 Not really. I'm on London time. 559 00:27:14,001 --> 00:27:16,021 London is five hours ahead. 560 00:27:16,021 --> 00:27:19,011 In that case, I'm really fucking late. 561 00:27:19,010 --> 00:27:23,020 I can't believe you actually got out of the car and got balloons. 562 00:27:23,022 --> 00:27:26,012 I didn't. Raoul did. 563 00:27:26,010 --> 00:27:27,020 Good man. 564 00:27:29,023 --> 00:27:31,003 So... 565 00:27:33,002 --> 00:27:34,002 how old are you? 566 00:27:34,002 --> 00:27:35,022 -How old are you? -Nope. 567 00:27:35,017 --> 00:27:37,997 You don't have to give me an exact number. 568 00:27:38,006 --> 00:27:39,016 Pick a box. 569 00:27:39,020 --> 00:27:43,000 30-35, 35-40, 570 00:27:43,002 --> 00:27:44,022 40-45? 571 00:27:45,019 --> 00:27:47,019 Really? 572 00:27:47,017 --> 00:27:49,007 40-45. 573 00:27:49,010 --> 00:27:50,020 I don't know what you're referring to. 574 00:27:50,017 --> 00:27:52,007 I had something in my eye. 575 00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,000 Hey. 576 00:28:00,002 --> 00:28:02,012 How do you feel about soul mates? 577 00:28:03,011 --> 00:28:07,001 Well, I like the word "soul." 578 00:28:08,009 --> 00:28:10,009 I like the word "mate." 579 00:28:10,012 --> 00:28:12,012 Other than that, you got me. 580 00:28:22,005 --> 00:28:23,995 Did you have a nice day? 581 00:28:24,003 --> 00:28:26,003 I had a fabulous day. 582 00:28:27,008 --> 00:28:28,008 Good for you. 583 00:28:35,003 --> 00:28:36,023 As Big's car drove away, 584 00:28:37,001 --> 00:28:40,021 I realized having three soul mates already nailed down 585 00:28:41,001 --> 00:28:42,011 made it a lot easier 586 00:28:42,011 --> 00:28:46,011 to spot those great, nice guys to have fun with.