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00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,460
One of the reasons
some people
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00:01:00,542 --> 00:01:03,792
still risk the possible horror
of a first date
3
00:01:03,875 --> 00:01:06,375
is the possible magic
of the goodnight kiss
4
00:01:06,458 --> 00:01:07,578
at the front door.
5
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:08,707
It was so good.
6
00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:10,792
I had a great time.
7
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So did I.
8
00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:15,043
The world slows down,
just for a second,
9
00:01:15,125 --> 00:01:17,625
as some people
take that hopeful lean
10
00:01:17,709 --> 00:01:19,959
into a possible future together.
11
00:01:30,667 --> 00:01:32,037
Eww!
12
00:01:32,125 --> 00:01:35,075
I mean, all around my mouth.
13
00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:36,416
Eww!
14
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:37,580
How do you think I felt?
15
00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:39,417
His tongue actually
licked my teeth.
16
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I don't get it...
17
00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:42,497
did he want to fuck you
or floss you?
18
00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:44,083
Bad kissers are the worst.
19
00:01:44,166 --> 00:01:45,456
The worst.
When it comes to the worst,
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00:01:45,542 --> 00:01:47,672
they're at the top,
the top of the worst.
21
00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:48,880
He has these sweet little lips.
22
00:01:48,959 --> 00:01:50,289
I thought he would
be a good kisser.
23
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See, that's the scary thing,
you can never tell.
24
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:52,960
They look totally normal.
25
00:01:53,041 --> 00:01:54,171
Until their pointy tongue
26
00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:56,040
is darting in and out
of your mouth.
27
00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:57,575
Oh, stabby-little-
pointy-tongue.
28
00:01:57,667 --> 00:01:59,287
-That is the worst of the worst.
29
00:01:59,375 --> 00:02:00,745
No, no, no, what's worse
30
00:02:00,834 --> 00:02:02,584
is when they expect
you to do all the work,
31
00:02:02,667 --> 00:02:05,747
and their tongue just lays there
in your mouth like a clam.
32
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,254
Eww!
33
00:02:07,333 --> 00:02:09,293
The "clam mouth,"
that's the worst!
34
00:02:09,375 --> 00:02:11,375
At that point I say,
"Get that thing out of my mouth,
35
00:02:11,458 --> 00:02:13,378
put it in a cab,
and take its lazy ass home."
36
00:02:13,458 --> 00:02:15,288
You'd dump a guy
because of a bad kiss?
37
00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:16,625
Honey, you have to.
38
00:02:16,709 --> 00:02:18,789
I mean, if their tongue's
just gonna lay there,
39
00:02:18,875 --> 00:02:20,455
what do you think
their dick's gonna do?
40
00:02:20,542 --> 00:02:22,962
-Point taken.
-Maybe we can work on it.
41
00:02:23,041 --> 00:02:24,211
-"Practice makes perfect."
-No, no, no.
42
00:02:24,291 --> 00:02:25,381
No, dump him.
43
00:02:25,458 --> 00:02:27,458
A bad kisser
is a non-negotiable.
44
00:02:27,542 --> 00:02:30,382
I am not gonna dump Brad
just because of that.
45
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:31,960
Then, might I suggest,
46
00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:34,831
you change his name
from Brad to "Bad"?
47
00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:37,500
But I really like him,
I mean, well, I did until...
48
00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:39,633
Until his tongue
was in your stomach?
49
00:02:39,709 --> 00:02:41,289
Eww!
50
00:02:41,375 --> 00:02:43,825
I'm going to have to ask
you ladies to hold it down.
51
00:02:43,917 --> 00:02:45,537
This is
a respectable restaurant.
52
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:48,245
Adeena Williams was my
newspaper's former food editor
53
00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:50,833
and the chef
and proud owner of Fusion,
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00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:52,457
a restaurant whose specialty
55
00:02:52,542 --> 00:02:55,422
was a mingling of trendy food
56
00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:57,630
Martha Stewart
meets Puff Daddy...
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00:02:57,709 --> 00:02:58,669
on a plate.
58
00:02:58,750 --> 00:03:01,330
So... the poached salmon
with okra?
59
00:03:01,417 --> 00:03:02,827
-Oh, so good.
-Heaven.
60
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,667
Oh, trust me, this time next
year,
61
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,420
okra will be the new edamame.
62
00:03:08,750 --> 00:03:11,210
Hey, sis, we're leaving.
You want to come say goodbye?
63
00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:14,171
Everybody, this is
my successful brother
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00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:18,500
who brings me tons of that
juicy music industry business.
65
00:03:18,583 --> 00:03:21,173
Hey, listen, I gotta go,
but I'm sending over dessert.
66
00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:23,830
-No!
-Pecan and praline pie.
67
00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:25,167
Yes!
68
00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:28,995
Didn't I meet you
at the Columbia Records party
for Jennifer Lopez?
69
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:31,213
I don't think so.
70
00:03:31,291 --> 00:03:32,421
My PR firm handled it,
71
00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:35,040
but I'm sure
I'd remember meeting you.
72
00:03:35,125 --> 00:03:37,125
Well, I guess I just saw you.
73
00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:39,038
Chivon Williams,
artists' rep for--
74
00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:41,785
Tommy Boy Records,
I remember from the guest list.
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00:03:42,125 --> 00:03:43,165
You're good.
76
00:03:43,667 --> 00:03:44,877
Samantha Jones.
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00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:46,753
If you ever need me...
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00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:48,917
for a party.
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00:03:52,792 --> 00:03:54,882
Ladies, I apologize
for interrupting.
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00:03:54,959 --> 00:03:56,039
Have a pleasant evening.
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00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:57,165
You too.
Bye.
82
00:03:59,792 --> 00:04:01,132
Could he be any cuter?
83
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,962
You gotta love a fella
who loves the jewelry.
84
00:04:04,041 --> 00:04:05,711
That is one fine looking man.
85
00:04:05,792 --> 00:04:07,712
I'd like to get me some of that.
86
00:04:07,792 --> 00:04:09,042
Don't talk
like that.
87
00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:10,035
Like what?
88
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:11,415
You know.
89
00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,920
Oh, relax with the knee-jerk
liberal reaction.
90
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,830
That wasn't "black talk,"
that was "sex talk."
91
00:04:16,917 --> 00:04:19,667
Okay, first of all,
it isn't "black" talk,
92
00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:22,080
it's "African-American" talk.
93
00:04:22,417 --> 00:04:24,377
And you shouldn't be talking
like that at all, Samantha.
94
00:04:24,458 --> 00:04:26,668
It's rude
and politically incorrect.
95
00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:29,330
Sweetie,
Samantha is rude
and politically incorrect.
96
00:04:29,417 --> 00:04:31,247
She's an equal
opportunity offender.
97
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:32,333
Precisely.
98
00:04:32,417 --> 00:04:34,877
I don't see color,
I see conquests.
99
00:04:34,959 --> 00:04:36,879
Talk about "affirmative action."
100
00:04:40,792 --> 00:04:42,502
The next morning,
I had just settled down
101
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,753
with a coffee cup
full of fresh coffee
102
00:04:44,834 --> 00:04:48,334
and a coffee table full of
fresh fashion magazines, when...
103
00:04:48,417 --> 00:04:49,247
Who is it?
104
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:51,633
Mr. Right.
105
00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,919
Have you seen
The New York Times '
style section?
106
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:56,580
You know I can't handle
hard news before noon.
107
00:04:56,959 --> 00:05:00,879
There's a beautiful man downtown
selling beautiful furniture.
We're going.
108
00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:03,129
Stanford, I got
a whole afternoon planned
109
00:05:03,208 --> 00:05:04,248
with Australian Vogue .
110
00:05:04,333 --> 00:05:05,713
I'm not just gonna
drop everything
111
00:05:05,792 --> 00:05:07,962
to go downtown
to see some cute guy.
112
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,330
-He's straight.
-I'll get my purse.
113
00:05:10,417 --> 00:05:12,497
All these people
with nothing better to do
114
00:05:12,583 --> 00:05:14,583
than to ogle
some lowly craftsman?
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00:05:14,667 --> 00:05:15,497
Pathetic.
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00:05:15,583 --> 00:05:17,133
Really, look at this place.
117
00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:19,288
It's nothing but
baguettes and faggots.
118
00:05:20,542 --> 00:05:21,672
Ooh.
119
00:05:22,625 --> 00:05:24,205
-Ew.
-Ooh.
120
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:26,211
If you see anything you like,
just tell them
you're a designer.
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00:05:26,291 --> 00:05:27,961
These places always
give a discount.
122
00:05:28,041 --> 00:05:30,081
That's how I got 50 bucks
off my end table.
123
00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:31,826
Ah, jeez, you're a classy guy.
124
00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:34,672
One second.
125
00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:36,130
Mm?
Mm-mmm.
126
00:05:36,208 --> 00:05:38,208
His name
was Aidan Shaw.
127
00:05:38,291 --> 00:05:41,921
He was warm, masculine,
and classic American...
128
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,380
just like his furniture.
129
00:05:43,458 --> 00:05:45,458
Jesus Christ,
the dog is overkill.
130
00:05:45,542 --> 00:05:46,752
Go get him.
131
00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:48,333
Excuse me?
132
00:05:48,417 --> 00:05:49,497
He's perfect for you.
133
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,083
I'll come visit you
and the children
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00:05:51,166 --> 00:05:52,536
at your country cabin upstate.
135
00:05:52,625 --> 00:05:54,415
I think we're staring,
look away.
136
00:05:55,709 --> 00:05:57,129
His name
was Marty Mendleson.
137
00:05:57,208 --> 00:06:00,038
He was warm, stylish,
and classic gay...
138
00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:01,415
just like his outfit.
139
00:06:01,500 --> 00:06:03,880
He's a fantastic
designer, and single.
140
00:06:03,959 --> 00:06:04,999
Go get him.
141
00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:06,173
I'll come visit you
and the swatches
142
00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:08,210
at your country cabin upstate.
143
00:06:13,417 --> 00:06:14,667
Hey, doggie.
144
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,210
-Hi, hi.
145
00:06:17,291 --> 00:06:18,631
Oh.
146
00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:19,831
Okay.
147
00:06:19,917 --> 00:06:23,287
Yeah. Okay, down.
148
00:06:23,375 --> 00:06:24,915
That's bad, doggie, down.
149
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,000
-Seriously, down.
-Oh, hey.
150
00:06:27,083 --> 00:06:29,753
Hey, okay, there you go.
151
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,881
You should get that creature
a chew toy or something.
152
00:06:34,250 --> 00:06:36,960
Look, to his credit, he only
picks the best looking ladies.
153
00:06:37,291 --> 00:06:39,791
You can't imagine
how flattered I am.
154
00:06:39,875 --> 00:06:42,075
-I'm Aidan.
-I'm humiliated.
155
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:45,076
It's my fault,
I shouldn't let him run around
loose in the store.
156
00:06:45,458 --> 00:06:47,628
Oh! This is your store?
157
00:06:47,709 --> 00:06:49,289
I had no idea.
158
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:51,625
As soon as I heard the lie
come out of my mouth,
159
00:06:51,709 --> 00:06:53,999
I knew I was kinda interested.
160
00:06:58,375 --> 00:06:59,745
This is a beautiful chair.
161
00:06:59,834 --> 00:07:01,754
This is my favorite piece
in the shop.
162
00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:04,214
Aw, you say that about
every piece, right?
163
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:06,041
Not really.
164
00:07:06,542 --> 00:07:08,132
This leather's about
a hundred years old.
165
00:07:08,208 --> 00:07:11,328
I stripped it off
an old railroad car seat.
166
00:07:11,417 --> 00:07:12,537
Here, feel this.
167
00:07:18,291 --> 00:07:19,291
Soft, huh?
168
00:07:19,375 --> 00:07:20,955
I'll take it.
169
00:07:21,041 --> 00:07:23,831
I wasn't really in the market
for a big leather chair,
170
00:07:23,917 --> 00:07:25,747
but suddenly I had to have
171
00:07:25,834 --> 00:07:28,134
whatever it was
that I just felt.
172
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:30,960
Um, uh, I'm a designer.
173
00:07:31,041 --> 00:07:34,581
Carrie Bradshaw...
"Carrie Bradshaw Designs."
174
00:07:34,667 --> 00:07:36,497
Okay, let's see, with the, uh...
175
00:07:37,417 --> 00:07:38,877
designer discount...
176
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:42,540
and the
dog-humiliation factor...
177
00:07:44,208 --> 00:07:45,208
how's that?
178
00:07:47,542 --> 00:07:49,132
How soon can it be delivered?
179
00:07:49,208 --> 00:07:51,128
I can get it to you
the end of the week.
180
00:07:51,208 --> 00:07:53,128
In New York City
retail lingo,
181
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:55,288
I kinda like you too.
182
00:07:55,375 --> 00:07:57,035
Cool, I just got
183
00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:58,415
where do you want it delivered
184
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,540
and can I take you out
to dinner sometime?
185
00:08:02,542 --> 00:08:04,292
Will you knock another $10 off?
186
00:08:05,750 --> 00:08:07,580
The dog humping aside,
it was one of those
187
00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:09,207
perfect New York Saturdays.
188
00:08:09,875 --> 00:08:11,205
I'm back!
189
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,711
And uptown at Miranda's,
190
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:15,332
Steve was having
an even better Saturday.
191
00:08:15,417 --> 00:08:17,207
Guess what happened?
It's so fucking great!
192
00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:18,421
What?
193
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,460
You know how at halftime
at the Knicks game,
194
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,542
when they pick somebody to try
and make a half-court shot
195
00:08:22,625 --> 00:08:23,825
for a million-dollar prize?
196
00:08:23,917 --> 00:08:25,497
Kinda, but go ahead.
197
00:08:25,583 --> 00:08:27,293
Well, next Tuesday...
198
00:08:27,709 --> 00:08:30,209
it's fuckin' me!
They picked my name
199
00:08:30,291 --> 00:08:32,671
from the contest
I entered at Sam Goody's!
200
00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,540
Well... great!
201
00:08:34,625 --> 00:08:37,535
Yeah!
No, Miranda, it's not great.
202
00:08:37,625 --> 00:08:40,875
A million dollars,
it's fucking great!
203
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:44,463
Yes, Steve, it is fucking great.
204
00:08:44,542 --> 00:08:46,502
But just don't
get your hopes up.
205
00:08:46,583 --> 00:08:48,083
It's a kinda
tough shot, isn't it?
206
00:08:48,166 --> 00:08:50,666
Yeah, for other guys, but
they don't have my moves, see?
207
00:08:50,750 --> 00:08:52,750
Okay.
208
00:08:54,208 --> 00:08:55,668
You know what
the problem here is?
209
00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:57,130
You don't know how good I am.
210
00:08:57,208 --> 00:08:59,828
Don't let these legs fool you,
I'm fucking great.
211
00:08:59,917 --> 00:09:01,207
I like your little legs.
212
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,711
Okay, let's go down
to the playground right now.
213
00:09:03,792 --> 00:09:05,002
I'll show you!
214
00:09:05,083 --> 00:09:06,583
No, please, I believe you.
215
00:09:06,667 --> 00:09:07,877
You've got the moves!
216
00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:09,459
-Whoo!
No, no, no.
217
00:09:09,542 --> 00:09:12,042
I don't want no charity,
seeing is believing.
218
00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:14,325
Next Saturday, you come
down to the playground
219
00:09:14,417 --> 00:09:15,877
and watch me shoot, promise?
220
00:09:15,959 --> 00:09:17,499
Promise?
221
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:20,789
-Ah!
-Hey!
222
00:09:20,875 --> 00:09:22,825
That's Ralph Lauren paint.
223
00:09:22,917 --> 00:09:24,037
Yeah, I'll buy you more.
224
00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:27,125
I'm a fuckin' millionaire!
Whoo!
225
00:09:28,291 --> 00:09:29,671
I have a crush.
226
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:31,383
Yeah?
227
00:09:31,458 --> 00:09:32,418
Yep.
228
00:09:32,500 --> 00:09:33,790
Good.
229
00:09:33,875 --> 00:09:35,375
You haven't had
a real crush in a while.
230
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:36,458
Not since Big.
231
00:09:36,542 --> 00:09:39,002
Big wasn't a crush,
he was a crash.
232
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:44,496
His name is Aidan
233
00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:47,625
and I believe him
to be very cute.
234
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:51,245
So cute, I bought a chair
I couldn't afford
235
00:09:51,333 --> 00:09:52,833
just because he made it.
236
00:09:52,917 --> 00:09:54,037
Did he ask you out?
237
00:09:55,542 --> 00:09:57,042
So the chair's a write-off.
238
00:09:57,875 --> 00:10:00,205
I haven't had a crush
since Sean Cassidy.
239
00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:02,415
-No way!
-Sadly, yes.
240
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,880
At this age, I'd have to say
I'm "crush-proof."
241
00:10:05,959 --> 00:10:08,039
What about Steve?
242
00:10:08,583 --> 00:10:11,583
Oh, God, right,
I forgot about my boyfriend.
243
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:12,707
Is that normal?
244
00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:14,002
You're asking me?
245
00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:17,000
Steve thinks he's gonna
win a million dollars.
246
00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:18,496
You told me.
247
00:10:18,583 --> 00:10:20,583
I guess I have to keep
repeating it until I believe it.
248
00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:21,877
It's totally illogical.
249
00:10:21,959 --> 00:10:23,999
And then he wants me
to be all supportive.
250
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:24,923
Well?
251
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:25,790
Well, what?
252
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,325
It's a half-court shot.
253
00:10:27,417 --> 00:10:29,207
There are actual Knicks
who can't make it.
254
00:10:29,291 --> 00:10:31,791
I would have
no trouble supporting him
if it was a real dream,
255
00:10:31,875 --> 00:10:34,125
like opening his own bar
or something,
256
00:10:34,208 --> 00:10:35,878
but this is just silly.
257
00:10:35,959 --> 00:10:38,209
Isn't that what you couples do?
258
00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:40,251
Support each other's
silly dreams?
259
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,753
You're asking me?
260
00:10:44,333 --> 00:10:47,383
Later that week, Chivon
invited Samantha to go uptown
261
00:10:47,458 --> 00:10:49,458
and hear an artist
he was thinking of signing.
262
00:10:49,542 --> 00:10:51,882
Back of the line,
motherfucker!
263
00:10:53,792 --> 00:10:55,922
That ain't right,
that ain't right.
264
00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:03,960
Although Samantha
had been in the New York
club scene for years,
265
00:11:04,041 --> 00:11:06,751
this was the first time
she was expected to spread
266
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,544
without, at least,
the offer of a cocktail.
267
00:11:14,458 --> 00:11:16,208
And this right here
is DJ Oh Man...
268
00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:17,831
Within a matter
of minutes,
269
00:11:17,917 --> 00:11:20,627
Samantha felt perfectly at home
in Chivon's world.
270
00:11:20,709 --> 00:11:22,919
Hey, guys, I'm Samantha.
271
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,710
What's up, Samantha?
272
00:11:24,792 --> 00:11:26,502
And within a matter
of hours,
273
00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:29,383
Chivon was perfectly at home
in Samantha's home.
274
00:11:29,458 --> 00:11:31,458
-Do you like this groove?
-Mm.
275
00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:32,832
It's a new kid out of Philly.
276
00:11:32,917 --> 00:11:34,247
I'm surprised it's so soft.
277
00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:36,213
I thought all rap
had a harder edge.
278
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,540
It can be hard or soft...
279
00:11:39,542 --> 00:11:40,632
like you.
280
00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:44,747
I mean, you have so much
attitude up front...
281
00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:46,580
Look at you now,
282
00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:49,581
soft, sweet.
283
00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:50,996
Sweet?
284
00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:52,463
Me?
285
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:55,960
Who do you think you're fooling?
Huh?
286
00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,630
You know...
287
00:12:00,542 --> 00:12:02,542
I don't usually sleep with men
288
00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:05,745
who have nicer
accessories than me.
289
00:12:05,959 --> 00:12:08,709
Where did you get
these fabulous earrings?
290
00:12:08,792 --> 00:12:10,542
-Tiffany.
291
00:12:10,625 --> 00:12:11,665
Where else?
292
00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:16,633
I hope you can
sleep in a little.
293
00:12:17,750 --> 00:12:18,790
Sleep?
294
00:12:20,834 --> 00:12:23,544
Samantha rarely
asked a man to stay over,
295
00:12:23,625 --> 00:12:25,245
but she just couldn't resist
296
00:12:25,333 --> 00:12:28,383
having breakfast
with his Tiffanys.
297
00:12:28,458 --> 00:12:30,498
One of the reasons
some people still risk
298
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,923
the possible horror
of a first date
299
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,880
is the possible magic
of the goodnight kiss
at the front door.
300
00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:39,038
You know, my dog,
he's obsessed with you.
301
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:42,205
He, uh, kept me up
talking all night.
302
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:43,751
"Her leg, man, her leg."
303
00:12:43,834 --> 00:12:45,714
-Aroo!
304
00:12:45,792 --> 00:12:49,172
I finally had to say,
"Pete, let her go, man.
305
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:51,500
-It's over!"
306
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,168
I have a confession to make.
307
00:12:57,208 --> 00:12:58,208
Uh-oh.
308
00:12:59,333 --> 00:13:00,883
I'm not a designer.
309
00:13:01,583 --> 00:13:02,713
I'm a writer.
310
00:13:04,291 --> 00:13:06,331
What was that... fiction?
311
00:13:07,458 --> 00:13:09,328
I wanted the discount.
312
00:13:10,041 --> 00:13:12,171
It's shameful, but true.
313
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,705
But don't worry,
I only lie about furniture...
314
00:13:15,917 --> 00:13:17,537
nothing else.
315
00:13:19,709 --> 00:13:20,879
Are you upset?
316
00:13:23,625 --> 00:13:24,825
You smoke?
317
00:13:26,166 --> 00:13:29,126
Oh... um... just a little.
318
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:31,078
The minute I heard the lie
come out of my mouth,
319
00:13:31,166 --> 00:13:33,536
I realized just how much
I kinda liked him.
320
00:13:33,625 --> 00:13:35,665
If it bothers you, I'll just...
321
00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:42,575
-Well... I had a great time.
-Hmm.
322
00:13:43,125 --> 00:13:44,415
Hmm.
323
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,883
I can taste that cigarette.
324
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,920
Oh, I'm sorry, I have an Altoid.
325
00:14:00,083 --> 00:14:01,293
Carrie, I think you're just--
326
00:14:01,375 --> 00:14:03,995
No, no, I totally,
totally get it.
327
00:14:04,083 --> 00:14:07,583
I have a mint here,
they're curiously strong.
328
00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:08,917
Look...
329
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,830
Here, can you just, uh,
hold that for a second?
330
00:14:10,917 --> 00:14:12,417
-Sure.
-Thanks, sorry.
331
00:14:12,500 --> 00:14:14,080
I don't want to be a jerk,
332
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:17,036
but I can't date a smoker.
333
00:14:19,291 --> 00:14:20,251
Oh.
334
00:14:21,166 --> 00:14:22,126
So...
335
00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:24,917
Really?
336
00:14:27,375 --> 00:14:28,825
It's a thing I have.
337
00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:31,707
I couldn't believe
what my crush was saying...
338
00:14:31,792 --> 00:14:33,672
I was crushed.
339
00:14:33,750 --> 00:14:36,290
Later that night,
I couldn't help but wonder...
340
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,915
When the hell did dating
become so "dump-friendly"?
341
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,960
What happened to the time
when a bad kiss or a cigarette
342
00:14:42,041 --> 00:14:43,171
or even a ridiculous dream
343
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:46,000
was just part
of a person's portfolio?
344
00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:47,753
In today's volatile
dating market
345
00:14:47,834 --> 00:14:50,464
is it wise to liquidate certain
stocks at the very first sign
346
00:14:50,542 --> 00:14:52,962
that they might not perform
as well as expected?
347
00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:56,171
Or are there certain things
one should try and negotiate?
348
00:14:56,250 --> 00:15:00,290
In relationships,
what are the "deal breakers"?
349
00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:03,378
I think it's really sexy
350
00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:06,043
when you lightly
touch your lips to mine.
351
00:15:06,125 --> 00:15:08,705
Never one to trade
a stock before it had matured,
352
00:15:08,792 --> 00:15:12,422
a determined and patient
Charlotte decided to teach "Bad"
353
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:13,540
how to kiss good.
354
00:15:13,625 --> 00:15:14,575
You like that, huh?
355
00:15:14,667 --> 00:15:16,537
Mm-hmm.
356
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:20,881
And I like it when
you slowly open your mouth
357
00:15:20,959 --> 00:15:25,379
and just sort of tickle my lips
with the tip of your tongue.
358
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:34,497
-You like that?
-Mmm.
359
00:15:34,583 --> 00:15:36,133
Mmm.
360
00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:38,828
And with just a little
gentle negotiating,
361
00:15:38,917 --> 00:15:41,827
Brad's "stock"
suddenly began to rise.
362
00:15:49,667 --> 00:15:51,537
Okay, stop, stop it!
363
00:15:52,166 --> 00:15:53,456
You're sucking too hard!
364
00:15:53,542 --> 00:15:55,922
And for the record,
my mouth is up here!
365
00:15:56,125 --> 00:15:57,285
Is there a problem?
366
00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:58,963
I can't do this!
367
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:02,326
Brad... you're a bad kisser.
368
00:16:02,417 --> 00:16:04,707
Come on... that's my thing.
369
00:16:07,959 --> 00:16:09,629
Where are you going?
370
00:16:09,709 --> 00:16:11,749
And downtown
at Marty Mendleson's,
371
00:16:11,834 --> 00:16:13,384
some other people
were experiencing
372
00:16:13,458 --> 00:16:15,538
a much more
successful first kiss.
373
00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:17,325
Let's move into the bedroom.
374
00:16:29,709 --> 00:16:31,079
These are my dolls.
375
00:16:31,875 --> 00:16:33,535
I've been collecting them
for years.
376
00:16:33,875 --> 00:16:35,205
I had no idea.
377
00:16:37,417 --> 00:16:38,377
This...
378
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:41,881
is the "Queen of Siam."
379
00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:44,042
She's my favorite.
380
00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:46,464
Bisque China face.
381
00:16:46,750 --> 00:16:48,210
She's a real collector's item.
382
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:50,001
Uh-huh.
383
00:16:50,542 --> 00:16:55,252
And this is
"Mary, Queen of Scots."
384
00:16:58,208 --> 00:16:59,708
Are they all queens?
385
00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:02,246
No, just the ones
from Madame Alexander's.
386
00:17:04,750 --> 00:17:06,380
Well, help me clear off the bed.
387
00:17:11,959 --> 00:17:12,999
No, no, no.
388
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,083
The southern belle
sits on the table.
389
00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:20,077
Stanford wondered
if he was enough of a queen
390
00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:22,706
to make love to a queen
who collected queens.
391
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:25,129
And uptown at Fusion,
392
00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:27,788
Samantha was feeling a bit
like a queen herself.
393
00:17:28,083 --> 00:17:30,463
Did I tell you how beautiful
you look tonight?
394
00:17:31,291 --> 00:17:32,671
Thank you.
395
00:17:34,291 --> 00:17:36,001
Hey, what's up, genius?
396
00:17:36,083 --> 00:17:40,833
Oh, genius' overtired ass
is draggin' all over
this fool restaurant.
397
00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:44,213
Oh, you know, Aunt Alice
and her friends are leaving now
398
00:17:44,291 --> 00:17:46,131
in case you want to
go pay your respects.
399
00:17:46,208 --> 00:17:48,078
Our favorite aunt...
I'll introduce you.
400
00:17:48,166 --> 00:17:50,416
No, no, no, Aunt Alice
is out the door already.
401
00:17:50,500 --> 00:17:53,460
You go, and I'll sit here
and talk with Samantha.
402
00:18:01,625 --> 00:18:02,785
-So...
-So.
403
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:04,035
How was everything?
404
00:18:04,125 --> 00:18:05,125
Ah, perfection.
405
00:18:05,208 --> 00:18:06,998
Chivon is right,
you are a genius.
406
00:18:07,083 --> 00:18:09,673
Oh, thank you, thank you.
407
00:18:09,750 --> 00:18:12,670
And now I have a non-food
related question...
408
00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:14,420
What's going on between
you and my brother?
409
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:17,170
-What do you mean?
-Well, you've been in here
together like,
410
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:18,540
two or three times.
411
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,036
Well, we're dating, why?
412
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:23,375
So you're not just fucking?
413
00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:26,167
Well, not that it's any
of your business,
414
00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:28,380
but no, we're not just fucking.
415
00:18:28,625 --> 00:18:30,785
We actually
really like each other.
416
00:18:30,875 --> 00:18:32,745
No.
417
00:18:32,959 --> 00:18:34,749
I don't want you
seeing my brother.
418
00:18:34,834 --> 00:18:35,754
Excuse me?
419
00:18:35,834 --> 00:18:36,884
I don't approve.
420
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:38,997
But you don't even know me--
421
00:18:39,083 --> 00:18:40,543
Let's not get all personal here.
422
00:18:40,625 --> 00:18:44,575
I'm sure you're a very nice
person, but... you're white.
423
00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:47,497
And I have a problem
with my only brother
424
00:18:47,583 --> 00:18:48,833
getting serious
with a white woman.
425
00:18:48,917 --> 00:18:50,247
Apparently to Adeena,
426
00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:52,583
Samantha's skin
was a non-negotiable.
427
00:18:52,667 --> 00:18:54,127
How can you even
say that to me? It's--
428
00:18:54,208 --> 00:18:56,078
Listen,
that's how I feel.
429
00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:57,496
I'm never going to approve
430
00:18:57,583 --> 00:19:00,463
and my approval
means a lot to my brother.
431
00:19:00,542 --> 00:19:04,632
So why don't you just save us
all a lot of time and trouble
432
00:19:04,709 --> 00:19:08,169
and get out now
before anybody gets hurt?
433
00:19:11,375 --> 00:19:15,455
I'll send over
some Mississippi mud pie.
434
00:19:15,542 --> 00:19:18,962
Samantha realized
the only place Adeena
was interested in fusion
435
00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:20,211
was on a plate.
436
00:19:21,291 --> 00:19:22,581
Talk about
politically incorrect!
437
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:24,627
She can't dis me
just because I'm white.
438
00:19:24,709 --> 00:19:26,289
Please tell me
you didn't say "dis."
439
00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:27,705
Maybe you should
stop seeing him, Samantha.
440
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,752
Race is a very big issue.
441
00:19:29,834 --> 00:19:32,044
No, there is no reason
to bring race into this.
442
00:19:32,125 --> 00:19:35,165
Chivon is a sweet man,
we have great sex
443
00:19:35,250 --> 00:19:37,080
and he happens to have
the biggest--
444
00:19:37,166 --> 00:19:39,916
Black cock! We know,
he has a big black cock!
445
00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:42,415
I was about to say,
biggest heart.
446
00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:44,250
But now that you're
so interested, yes...
447
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:46,003
he does have a big black cock.
448
00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:48,833
It's big
"African-American" cock.
Right, Charlotte?
449
00:19:48,917 --> 00:19:51,037
Don't make fun of me,
my chin hurts.
450
00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:52,455
Yeah, what exactly
happened there?
451
00:19:52,542 --> 00:19:54,752
He raped my face.
I'm never seeing him again.
452
00:19:54,834 --> 00:19:58,174
To Charlotte York,
a black and blue chin
was a deal breaker.
453
00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:00,210
Well, I am not about
to back down to her.
454
00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:01,671
That is just not who I am.
455
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,040
Yeah, Samantha's
right.
456
00:20:03,125 --> 00:20:04,495
She shouldn't have to
sacrifice who she is,
457
00:20:04,583 --> 00:20:06,673
just because somebody else
has a problem with it.
458
00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:08,330
-Thank you.
It's like me with
smoking.
459
00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:11,207
You know, it's too bad that
Aidan had a problem with it,
460
00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:13,131
but you have to accept people
for who they are.
461
00:20:13,208 --> 00:20:15,998
Wait, you're choosing
cigarettes over a cute guy?
462
00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:17,173
He's not that cute.
463
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,880
You bought furniture,
he was so cute.
464
00:20:18,959 --> 00:20:20,579
Okay, but for him
to dump me like that
465
00:20:20,667 --> 00:20:22,627
over a little thing
like smoking.
466
00:20:22,709 --> 00:20:24,209
Smoking is not a little thing.
467
00:20:24,291 --> 00:20:27,131
It's a dirty, disgusting habit
and you're killing yourself.
468
00:20:27,208 --> 00:20:29,628
-Thank you, chin.
Really, Carrie,
we all hate it.
469
00:20:29,709 --> 00:20:31,919
We just put up with it
because we love you.
470
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,460
Now you have a reason
to quit, so, quit.
471
00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:35,672
You know, I really don't
appreciate being ganged up on.
472
00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:36,880
Who's ganging up on you?
473
00:20:36,959 --> 00:20:38,379
Smoking is a part of who I am.
474
00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:39,748
I will quit when I want to quit
475
00:20:39,834 --> 00:20:43,294
and it won't be because
some cute guy told me to.
476
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:44,382
Right, Samantha?
477
00:20:44,458 --> 00:20:45,668
No, honey.
478
00:20:45,750 --> 00:20:47,920
Fighting a battle for Chivon
is one thing,
479
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,380
but holding onto
those nasty cigarettes, well...
480
00:20:50,458 --> 00:20:51,578
that's just wack.
481
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:53,917
Please tell me she didn't
just say "wack."
482
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,330
It's all total bullshit.
483
00:20:56,417 --> 00:20:58,627
What is wrong with cigarettes?
484
00:20:58,709 --> 00:21:00,329
Nothing... they're fabulous.
485
00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:04,460
It's not like you have
a hideous doll collection
or something.
486
00:21:04,542 --> 00:21:05,922
Do you think that's
an overreaction
487
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,920
to a repressed childhood
or something?
488
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,380
Who cares? It's fucking freaky.
489
00:21:10,709 --> 00:21:14,169
I was willing to overlook
his receding hair,
490
00:21:14,917 --> 00:21:16,287
but the dollies?
491
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,382
No.
492
00:21:17,458 --> 00:21:19,458
So it's, "Goodbye, Dolly"?
493
00:21:22,083 --> 00:21:23,753
It's too bad, I kinda liked him.
494
00:21:23,834 --> 00:21:26,464
Well, Stanny,
if I may call you that,
495
00:21:26,917 --> 00:21:28,997
maybe you should reconsider.
496
00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:33,384
When was the last time
someone you had a crush on
asked you out?
497
00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:35,883
You're no one to talk,
Miss Marlboro Lights.
498
00:21:36,291 --> 00:21:38,331
Yeah, you're right,
I am no one to talk.
499
00:21:40,542 --> 00:21:42,882
Maybe I could quit,
you know, just a little,
500
00:21:43,041 --> 00:21:44,501
till I see what's up.
501
00:21:45,333 --> 00:21:46,383
Et tu?
502
00:21:47,625 --> 00:21:48,535
Fine.
503
00:21:48,917 --> 00:21:50,917
But I just can't see myself
getting all excited
504
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:54,000
because my boyfriend's
three-foot "Lady Di" doll
505
00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:56,043
is arriving from QVC.
506
00:21:58,750 --> 00:21:59,960
Okay, books away, let's go.
507
00:22:00,041 --> 00:22:01,791
-What?
-Time to go shoot hoops.
508
00:22:01,875 --> 00:22:04,955
Oh, right, I can't,
I got behind on this file.
509
00:22:05,041 --> 00:22:07,381
Ah, no, you don't,
let's go, come on, you promised.
510
00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:08,628
They messengered this over late.
511
00:22:08,709 --> 00:22:10,079
It has to be ready
first thing Monday.
512
00:22:10,166 --> 00:22:12,206
I don't have time to go
watch you shoot hoops.
513
00:22:12,291 --> 00:22:16,171
I ask you to do one thing,
one time for me
and you can't do it.
514
00:22:16,250 --> 00:22:17,500
What the fuck is that?
515
00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:19,383
What the fuck
is with the attitude?
516
00:22:19,458 --> 00:22:21,418
You know how many "law" things
I've been to?
517
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,080
How many times
I do what you want?
518
00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:24,749
Why are you getting so upset?
519
00:22:24,834 --> 00:22:26,334
It's just a stupid
half-court shot.
520
00:22:26,417 --> 00:22:28,417
Not to me, it's not!
521
00:22:31,583 --> 00:22:33,753
Why do you always
have to be so pessimistic?
522
00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:35,334
"You can't make that shot."
523
00:22:35,417 --> 00:22:37,207
Steve, come on!
524
00:22:37,291 --> 00:22:39,461
It's not just the shot,
it's everything!
525
00:22:39,542 --> 00:22:41,882
"We can't move in together...
This isn't gonna work."
526
00:22:41,959 --> 00:22:45,249
If this is ever gonna work,
I need you to believe
in us a little more.
527
00:22:46,125 --> 00:22:47,325
I need you to believe in me
528
00:22:47,417 --> 00:22:49,707
even if you think
it is fuckin' stupid.
529
00:23:02,417 --> 00:23:04,037
All right, hot shot!
530
00:23:04,333 --> 00:23:05,963
Show me what you got!
531
00:23:10,041 --> 00:23:12,001
Woo-hoo!
532
00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:15,292
Nice legs, very nice!
533
00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:19,415
Okay, this is for the big money!
534
00:23:19,500 --> 00:23:21,130
Okay!
535
00:23:29,917 --> 00:23:32,957
Steve never did win
the big money
at Madison Square G arden.
536
00:23:33,041 --> 00:23:35,211
But having Miranda
show up for him that day,
537
00:23:35,291 --> 00:23:36,791
made him feel
like a million bucks.
538
00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:39,325
You were robbed!
Robbed!
539
00:23:39,834 --> 00:23:41,084
Do over!
540
00:23:41,166 --> 00:23:43,036
Okay, score!
541
00:23:44,041 --> 00:23:46,171
Whoops. Excuse me. Sorry.
542
00:23:50,709 --> 00:23:53,669
-Don't get any ideas, mister.
-Hey, Pete, let's go.
543
00:23:56,125 --> 00:23:58,665
Aw, this really isn't fair.
544
00:23:58,750 --> 00:24:01,130
You know, he was just starting
to get over you.
545
00:24:01,959 --> 00:24:02,829
Look...
546
00:24:03,166 --> 00:24:04,746
since you negotiated
such a good price
547
00:24:04,834 --> 00:24:06,044
for me on the chair,
548
00:24:06,250 --> 00:24:09,250
maybe I could negotiate
a little deal for you
549
00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:10,633
on the smoking.
550
00:24:12,166 --> 00:24:13,456
What kind of deal?
551
00:24:13,542 --> 00:24:16,712
Well, I've been thinking
about quitting anyway, so...
552
00:24:16,792 --> 00:24:18,172
Why not now?
553
00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:20,714
Ta-da.
554
00:24:20,792 --> 00:24:22,332
No cigarettes.
555
00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:24,708
Can you do that?
556
00:24:24,792 --> 00:24:26,132
See, I think maybe you think
557
00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:27,878
I'm more of a smoker
than I actually am.
558
00:24:27,959 --> 00:24:31,209
I only have, like,
a cigarette with cocktails.
559
00:24:33,750 --> 00:24:36,460
I'm just about done here,
you want to get some coffee?
560
00:24:36,542 --> 00:24:38,542
The second I heard him
say coffee,
561
00:24:38,625 --> 00:24:40,575
I knew I kinda
wanted a cigarette.
562
00:24:41,083 --> 00:24:42,883
I'd love it.
563
00:24:42,959 --> 00:24:44,919
It was one of those
great early dates
564
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,630
where you have so much to say
that...
565
00:24:46,709 --> 00:24:47,959
coffee turns into a movie,
566
00:24:48,041 --> 00:24:49,961
a movie turns into a long walk,
567
00:24:50,041 --> 00:24:51,921
and a long walk turns
into the beginning
568
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,460
of "cold turkey" rehab.
569
00:24:53,542 --> 00:24:55,542
You want to get a bite to eat?
Some dinner?
570
00:24:57,208 --> 00:24:59,748
I was completely ready
to trade in my crush...
571
00:25:01,875 --> 00:25:03,125
Hi.
572
00:25:03,208 --> 00:25:04,538
When it dawned on me
just how much
573
00:25:04,625 --> 00:25:07,245
I was willing to give up
for a cigarette.
574
00:25:07,333 --> 00:25:08,883
Well, maybe a quick bite.
575
00:25:26,709 --> 00:25:30,039
Her name is Sheba, she's French.
576
00:25:30,125 --> 00:25:32,495
Meanwhile, back
in the "Valley of the Dolls,"
577
00:25:32,583 --> 00:25:35,333
Stanford decided that there was
something even more rare
578
00:25:35,417 --> 00:25:37,497
than a porcelain French face...
579
00:25:37,583 --> 00:25:38,883
his passion.
580
00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:43,753
No, wait, the dolls!
581
00:25:45,792 --> 00:25:48,332
Yes, oh, yes!
582
00:25:49,792 --> 00:25:51,712
Oh, yes!
583
00:26:03,875 --> 00:26:05,285
To Marty Mendleson,
584
00:26:05,375 --> 00:26:07,665
a broken face
was a deal breaker.
585
00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:14,918
Adeena!
586
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,420
And uptown,
587
00:26:16,500 --> 00:26:18,040
Samantha was about to come
face-to-face
588
00:26:18,125 --> 00:26:19,245
with her own deal breaker.
589
00:26:19,333 --> 00:26:20,503
Hey, what's up?
590
00:26:20,583 --> 00:26:22,383
You tell me, I just got here.
591
00:26:22,458 --> 00:26:24,128
You remember Samantha.
592
00:26:25,166 --> 00:26:28,416
So, what's my favorite girl
drinking?
593
00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:29,830
-Margarita.
-Champagne.
594
00:26:31,542 --> 00:26:32,542
Coming right up.
595
00:26:35,291 --> 00:26:36,541
What are you doing here?
596
00:26:36,625 --> 00:26:38,535
I told you, I don't want you
dating my brother.
597
00:26:38,625 --> 00:26:40,245
Adeena, I'm a lovely person.
598
00:26:40,333 --> 00:26:42,333
At least get to know me,
then hate me.
599
00:26:42,417 --> 00:26:43,537
This is not a game,
600
00:26:43,625 --> 00:26:45,285
this is my brother
we're talking about.
601
00:26:45,375 --> 00:26:48,325
You know, for a woman
with such a progressive view
of world food--
602
00:26:48,417 --> 00:26:50,287
That's business, this is family.
603
00:26:50,375 --> 00:26:51,915
I don't understand, what--
604
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,420
I'll say it to you plain.
605
00:26:53,625 --> 00:26:57,035
I don't care how many
Jennifer Lopez-lookin' dresses
606
00:26:57,125 --> 00:26:59,165
you have hanging up
in your closet,
607
00:26:59,333 --> 00:27:01,003
you don't belong in here.
608
00:27:01,333 --> 00:27:03,423
You can never understand
what I'm talkin' about.
609
00:27:03,500 --> 00:27:05,040
This is a black thing.
610
00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:08,830
Now, would you please go
and leave my brother alone!
611
00:27:10,709 --> 00:27:12,249
As Samantha
turned to leave,
612
00:27:12,333 --> 00:27:15,383
she suddenly realized
this wasn't a "black" thing,
613
00:27:15,458 --> 00:27:17,498
it was a "Samantha" thing.
614
00:27:17,583 --> 00:27:19,633
She'd never backed down
to a loud-mouth bitch before
615
00:27:19,709 --> 00:27:21,129
and she wasn't
about to start now.
616
00:27:21,208 --> 00:27:22,288
Excuse me,
617
00:27:22,375 --> 00:27:23,825
but no woman,
no matter what color,
618
00:27:23,917 --> 00:27:26,667
has the right to tell me
who I can or cannot fuck!
619
00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:29,790
Get your little white pussy
away from my brother!
620
00:27:29,875 --> 00:27:32,075
Get your big black ass
out of my face!
621
00:27:32,625 --> 00:27:35,535
And your okra wasn't all that!
622
00:27:40,542 --> 00:27:41,792
Get off, bitch!
623
00:27:41,875 --> 00:27:43,495
All right, all right,
everybody be cool!
624
00:27:43,583 --> 00:27:46,003
All right, all right,
let's keep it real!
625
00:27:46,083 --> 00:27:50,043
-Keep it real!
-I'm trying to keep it real!
626
00:27:54,542 --> 00:27:58,042
Seven hours
into the world's longest date
all I could think was...
627
00:27:58,125 --> 00:27:59,825
five more minutes
and I can dump this bozo
628
00:27:59,917 --> 00:28:02,167
and smoke
the emergency cigarette
hidden in my purse.
629
00:28:02,250 --> 00:28:03,960
Would you like
to see a dessert menu?
630
00:28:04,417 --> 00:28:05,957
I'll take a look.
631
00:28:06,792 --> 00:28:08,712
Oh, my God!
I forgot, I have that deadline!
632
00:28:08,792 --> 00:28:09,672
I have to go.
633
00:28:09,750 --> 00:28:11,130
Oh, wait, I'll walk with you.
634
00:28:11,208 --> 00:28:14,458
No! I mean, stay,
enjoy your dessert, I'm fine.
635
00:28:28,792 --> 00:28:29,962
Oh!
636
00:28:30,250 --> 00:28:31,330
No!
637
00:28:32,125 --> 00:28:33,325
Oh!
638
00:28:52,291 --> 00:28:53,461
Carrie?
639
00:28:56,208 --> 00:28:57,788
We've got a little problem.
640
00:29:03,250 --> 00:29:04,460
What can I say?
641
00:29:05,083 --> 00:29:07,293
Adeena has always
been there for me.
642
00:29:07,792 --> 00:29:11,632
I mean, ever since Mom died,
it's only been the two of us.
643
00:29:13,667 --> 00:29:15,537
Adeena has her issues,
644
00:29:16,291 --> 00:29:19,001
but then you had to go
and insult her food, so...
645
00:29:20,458 --> 00:29:22,208
You mean the world to me.
646
00:29:24,333 --> 00:29:27,543
But Adeena... she's my blood.
647
00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:39,078
Samantha knew
the real problem wasn't
her "little white pussy."
648
00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:41,706
It was the fact that Chivon
was a big black pussy
649
00:29:41,792 --> 00:29:43,792
who wouldn't stand up
to his sister.
650
00:29:46,667 --> 00:29:50,537
And for Samantha Jones,
that was the deal breaker.
651
00:29:52,166 --> 00:29:53,626
It was too bad we had to end,
652
00:29:53,709 --> 00:29:56,169
but that's the way it goes,
I guess.
653
00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,130
We had some good times together
654
00:29:59,208 --> 00:30:01,958
and I'm pretty sure
we could have had more.
655
00:30:02,041 --> 00:30:04,041
But it's over.
656
00:30:10,709 --> 00:30:14,039
In the end,
I really did it for me...
657
00:30:14,125 --> 00:30:15,415
I just hope he's worth it.