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00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:00,575
You can count
on one hand
2
00:01:00,667 --> 00:01:02,917
the things a real New Yorker
will wait for.
3
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,630
My list includes the perfect
rent-controlled apartment,
4
00:01:06,709 --> 00:01:09,289
the chocolate soufflé
at Le Bernardin,
5
00:01:09,375 --> 00:01:12,075
and the annual
Manolo Blahnik sale.
6
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,880
After four sublime dates
7
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with the furniture designer
8
00:01:16,208 --> 00:01:18,248
whose kiss made my knees wea,
9
00:01:18,333 --> 00:01:20,633
this New Yorker
had waited long enough.
10
00:01:20,709 --> 00:01:24,039
So mister,
do you wanna sleep over?
11
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I gotta feed Pete.
12
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I gotta get up
early in the morning.
13
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Apparently,
that New Yorker had not.
14
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People always say
when one door closes
15
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:47,750
another one opens.
16
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At 2:00 a.m.,
the door that was opening
17
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,330
was Samantha's.
18
00:02:00,458 --> 00:02:02,418
Can you believe it?
This is terrible!
19
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:04,710
-What's going on?
What if I came in
late one night...
20
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,882
Freda Luftshein in 1-D
was held up at gunpoint.
21
00:02:08,041 --> 00:02:09,041
Oh, my God!
22
00:02:09,125 --> 00:02:10,705
We have it under control, ma'am.
23
00:02:10,792 --> 00:02:11,832
We have the suspect on tape.
24
00:02:11,917 --> 00:02:13,037
But how did he get in?
25
00:02:13,125 --> 00:02:14,745
This is supposed to be
a safe building.
26
00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:16,464
It was late.
The doorman was off duty.
27
00:02:16,542 --> 00:02:19,002
And apparently, he entered
behind somebody's guest.
28
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That's awful!
29
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:22,540
There he is!
30
00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:23,915
Clearly,
the guy came in
31
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,290
behind the guy
who came in Samantha.
32
00:02:25,375 --> 00:02:27,125
Oh, my, that's terrible.
33
00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:29,288
Who has a guest
at two in the morning?
34
00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:30,745
I have no idea.
35
00:02:32,959 --> 00:02:34,959
So what did everybody do
last night?
36
00:02:35,041 --> 00:02:36,881
-Nothing.
-Nothing of note.
37
00:02:36,959 --> 00:02:38,629
I don't wanna talk about it.
38
00:02:38,709 --> 00:02:41,249
Why, what happened?
You sleep with someone
on the second date?
39
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:42,790
No, it was the third date.
40
00:02:42,875 --> 00:02:44,875
It was Alexander Lemley,
the investment banker
41
00:02:44,959 --> 00:02:47,079
that I met at the
Young Art Collectors show.
42
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:48,416
And what, the sex was bad?
43
00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:50,920
No, it was good, except...
44
00:02:53,959 --> 00:02:55,129
I don't think I can say it.
45
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:57,288
Oh, get over yourself.
46
00:02:57,667 --> 00:02:59,127
C'mon, sweetie, what happened?
47
00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:01,460
Well...
48
00:03:01,792 --> 00:03:04,882
when he, you know.
49
00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:07,173
Came, orgasmed, shot his wad.
50
00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:09,000
Uh-huh. He said...
51
00:03:09,083 --> 00:03:13,423
You fucking bitch,
you fucking whore!
52
00:03:16,709 --> 00:03:18,329
Why would he say that?
53
00:03:18,417 --> 00:03:21,787
Maybe because
you were fucking him.
54
00:03:22,500 --> 00:03:23,630
Well, it's true, sweetie.
55
00:03:23,709 --> 00:03:25,169
He didn't say it
at the dry cleaners.
56
00:03:25,250 --> 00:03:26,880
He said it when he was in you.
57
00:03:27,667 --> 00:03:29,247
Do you think I'm a whore?
58
00:03:29,458 --> 00:03:30,578
Oh, please!
59
00:03:30,667 --> 00:03:33,077
If you're a whore,
what does that make me?
60
00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:36,205
Do you think I'm a whore?
61
00:03:36,291 --> 00:03:39,081
Well, you have had a decent
amount of bone in you.
62
00:03:39,166 --> 00:03:42,286
This is bad!
Nobody wants to marry a whore.
63
00:03:42,375 --> 00:03:45,665
No, what's bad is
that even Charlotte
is having more sex than I am.
64
00:03:45,750 --> 00:03:47,830
-What about Aidan?
-What about Aidan?
65
00:03:48,250 --> 00:03:49,500
I don't know what's going on.
66
00:03:49,583 --> 00:03:50,713
Clearly, he's attractive,
67
00:03:50,792 --> 00:03:52,382
we're spending a lot
of time together,
68
00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:53,998
he keeps asking me out.
69
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:56,000
But he doesn't
wanna sleep with me.
70
00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:58,253
-Gay.
-No, he's not gay.
71
00:03:58,333 --> 00:03:59,463
Mother issues?
72
00:04:00,291 --> 00:04:01,381
No, I don't think so.
73
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,418
Maybe his dick curves
to the right.
74
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:04,750
So if it does,
we'll work it out.
75
00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:06,004
I'll go left.
76
00:04:06,083 --> 00:04:07,423
The thing is, I may never know.
77
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:08,710
Well, you better be careful,
78
00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:10,132
you wait too long
to sleep with someone,
79
00:04:10,208 --> 00:04:12,248
you miss the window,
and become just friends.
80
00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:14,963
As opposed to his fucking bitch,
his fucking whore.
81
00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:19,503
Oh, c'mon.
82
00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:21,633
If Samantha was right,
83
00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:23,289
I had very little time left
84
00:04:23,375 --> 00:04:25,495
before the relationship window
closed forever.
85
00:04:25,583 --> 00:04:27,253
So I wore my very little dress
86
00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,423
that left very little
to the imagination.
87
00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:31,630
Do you wanna take this inside?
88
00:04:32,583 --> 00:04:34,963
I better get home,
I gotta do something--
89
00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:36,291
Yeah, yeah,
you gotta get up early,
90
00:04:36,375 --> 00:04:37,785
the dog, whatever.
91
00:04:50,542 --> 00:04:52,172
What's goin' on up there?
92
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,625
Do you just wanna be friends?
93
00:04:54,709 --> 00:04:55,789
I don't know.
94
00:04:56,041 --> 00:04:57,961
Is that how you kiss
your friends?
95
00:04:58,583 --> 00:05:01,043
So why don't you want
to sleep with me?
96
00:05:01,875 --> 00:05:02,915
I mean, whatever it is,
97
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,000
I'd rather know
sooner than later.
98
00:05:06,208 --> 00:05:07,998
I do wanna sleep with you.
99
00:05:09,792 --> 00:05:10,792
I do.
100
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:11,995
Look at you.
101
00:05:13,709 --> 00:05:16,079
But I've been down
that road before.
102
00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:20,166
I've slept with women, quickly,
and I'm still single.
103
00:05:23,125 --> 00:05:25,535
So my new thing is,
104
00:05:26,542 --> 00:05:29,382
I just wanna try to sleep
with somebody I care about.
105
00:05:31,917 --> 00:05:34,577
I really think that
I can care about you.
106
00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:39,326
And it's only been
a week and a half.
107
00:05:39,417 --> 00:05:41,577
Don't people date anymore?
108
00:05:43,375 --> 00:05:45,165
Why did I expect
to sleep with him
109
00:05:45,250 --> 00:05:46,880
after only a week and a half?
110
00:05:46,959 --> 00:05:48,249
Had I become so jaded
111
00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:49,833
that I didn't even
recognize romance
112
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:52,127
when it kissed me on the lips?
113
00:05:52,208 --> 00:05:54,168
Maybe modern women
need a cheat sheet
114
00:05:54,250 --> 00:05:56,630
to remind us romance isn't dead.
115
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,172
Romance!
116
00:06:01,250 --> 00:06:03,790
I'm telling you,
it didn't even occur to me
117
00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:05,995
which is so depressing.
118
00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:08,043
Is that what 13 years
of dating in Manhattan
119
00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:09,665
does to a woman?
120
00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:12,670
I tell you what it does,
it gives you chlamydia.
121
00:06:12,750 --> 00:06:13,710
Excuse me?
122
00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:14,832
Yeah.
123
00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,917
My gynecologist called me today,
124
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,500
and my test, which she just
threw in for good measure,
125
00:06:19,583 --> 00:06:20,713
came back positive.
126
00:06:20,792 --> 00:06:21,962
Yikes!
127
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:24,541
It's not terrible,
there aren't any symptoms
128
00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:26,205
but it can cause infertility,
129
00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:28,631
so I guess it's
good I caught it.
130
00:06:28,709 --> 00:06:30,879
I mean, not that I caught it,
131
00:06:30,959 --> 00:06:32,079
but that I found out.
132
00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:33,746
Well, do you think
you got it from Steve?
133
00:06:33,834 --> 00:06:34,924
I don't know.
134
00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:36,460
It's the first time
I've been tested,
135
00:06:36,542 --> 00:06:37,752
so it could be any
number of guys,
136
00:06:37,834 --> 00:06:39,294
which is what I said
to my gynecologist,
137
00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:42,075
and frankly,
she seemed a little judgmental.
138
00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:44,633
She told me I should
contact all the people
139
00:06:44,709 --> 00:06:46,209
that I might have given it to,
140
00:06:46,291 --> 00:06:48,381
so they can all be treated.
141
00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:50,288
I knew what was
bothering Miranda.
142
00:06:50,375 --> 00:06:52,575
It was the same thought
that was bothering me
143
00:06:52,667 --> 00:06:54,577
ever since the guy
I'd been seeing for ten days
144
00:06:54,667 --> 00:06:56,417
asked me to slow down.
145
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,750
If you're a thirty-something
woman living in Manhattan,
146
00:06:58,834 --> 00:07:01,504
and you refuse to settle,
and you're sexually active,
147
00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:03,003
it's inevitable
that you'll rack up
148
00:07:03,083 --> 00:07:05,253
a certain number of partners.
149
00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,673
But how many men
is too many men?
150
00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,830
Are we simply
romantically challenged, or...
151
00:07:10,917 --> 00:07:12,287
are we sluts?
152
00:07:12,375 --> 00:07:14,705
It was certainly the question
on Charlotte's mind.
153
00:07:14,792 --> 00:07:16,292
So how's your swordfish?
154
00:07:16,375 --> 00:07:17,665
Fine, thanks.
155
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,630
You're awfully quiet tonight.
156
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,330
I'm sorry,
my mind is somewhere else.
157
00:07:23,417 --> 00:07:27,327
You fucking bitch,
you fucking whore!
158
00:07:28,208 --> 00:07:29,328
So like I was saying,
159
00:07:29,417 --> 00:07:30,667
I hate putting
people out of work,
160
00:07:30,750 --> 00:07:32,540
but that's what happens
after a merger, I...
161
00:07:32,834 --> 00:07:35,464
Maybe I should teach ESL
on the side, or...
162
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,503
Are you sure you're okay?
163
00:07:40,375 --> 00:07:41,705
Actually...
164
00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:44,542
what you said the other night,
165
00:07:44,834 --> 00:07:46,384
kind of bothered me.
166
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:49,747
Oh, no, uh... what did I say?
167
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:53,540
You know, when we were
in bed and you...
168
00:07:56,291 --> 00:07:58,041
you yelled out something.
169
00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:00,205
During my sleep?
170
00:08:00,875 --> 00:08:04,035
No, during sex.
171
00:08:04,583 --> 00:08:06,003
Oh.
172
00:08:08,583 --> 00:08:10,713
I don't remember
saying anything.
173
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:14,708
I remember it being very nice.
174
00:08:14,792 --> 00:08:16,252
But what'd I say?
175
00:08:18,625 --> 00:08:21,165
You know what?
It's not important.
176
00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:23,580
I'm sure it was just
in the heat of the moment.
177
00:08:23,667 --> 00:08:24,917
Never mind.
178
00:08:25,208 --> 00:08:26,498
Do you wanna try
some of my swordfish?
179
00:08:26,583 --> 00:08:28,503
It really is good.
180
00:08:28,583 --> 00:08:32,133
By dessert,
Charlotte had decided
to forget the whole incident
181
00:08:32,208 --> 00:08:33,788
and call it a do-over.
182
00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:36,383
You fucking bitch,
you fucking whore!
183
00:08:36,458 --> 00:08:38,958
That! That's what you said!
184
00:08:39,041 --> 00:08:40,131
What?
185
00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:42,208
Just then, you said it again.
186
00:08:42,291 --> 00:08:43,541
What did I say?
187
00:08:44,917 --> 00:08:47,457
You fucking bitch,
you fucking whore!
188
00:08:47,542 --> 00:08:49,382
Oh, my God, are you sure?
189
00:08:52,542 --> 00:08:55,002
That's terrible,
that's a horrible thing to say.
190
00:08:55,083 --> 00:08:56,633
I had no idea.
191
00:08:58,625 --> 00:08:59,955
I-I just get lost
in the moment.
192
00:09:00,041 --> 00:09:02,421
I-I certainly don't
think that about you.
193
00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:04,708
Hey, hey,
194
00:09:04,792 --> 00:09:06,172
believe me, Charlotte.
195
00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:09,420
You are sweet and smart
196
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,750
and lovely.
197
00:09:10,834 --> 00:09:13,834
You are the kind of woman
I hope to marry someday.
198
00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:20,132
And I promise never
to say that again.
199
00:09:21,625 --> 00:09:23,165
God, that's terrible.
200
00:09:24,417 --> 00:09:26,287
As Charlotte
was starting to feel better,
201
00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:28,825
Miranda was starting
to feel worse.
202
00:09:28,917 --> 00:09:30,247
-Steve?
-Hmm?
203
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:31,753
Can we not?
204
00:09:32,709 --> 00:09:35,379
What, I'm just
getting started here.
I'm only at the neck.
205
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:38,498
Maybe you'll change your mind
when I'm down around the elbows.
206
00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:42,287
I can't tonight,
I have chlamydia.
207
00:09:46,208 --> 00:09:49,328
I don't even know what that is,
but it sounds like a problem.
208
00:09:49,792 --> 00:09:51,332
It's, um...
209
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,250
It's not a big deal.
210
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:58,383
It's just a sexually
transmitted disease.
211
00:09:58,458 --> 00:09:59,498
And I might have
given it to you,
212
00:09:59,583 --> 00:10:01,503
or you might have
given it to me.
213
00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,084
Ba-boom!
214
00:10:03,166 --> 00:10:06,166
Look, either way,
you should probably get tested.
215
00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:10,707
I'm afraid of doctors,
I don't even have one anymore.
216
00:10:10,792 --> 00:10:12,382
Well, go to the free clinic.
217
00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:14,004
Whatever.
218
00:10:14,750 --> 00:10:15,920
What's gonna happen to me?
219
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,080
Does it hurt when
you pee or something?
220
00:10:17,166 --> 00:10:19,076
No, men are just carriers,
221
00:10:19,166 --> 00:10:20,746
there aren't any
symptoms at all.
222
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:22,504
Then why do I need to know?
223
00:10:22,875 --> 00:10:25,915
Because
if you don't get treated,
224
00:10:26,041 --> 00:10:27,881
you could pass it on
to other people.
225
00:10:27,959 --> 00:10:30,419
But you're my only other person
226
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,040
and you already have it.
227
00:10:32,458 --> 00:10:35,168
Yeah, but see, if you've got it,
228
00:10:35,250 --> 00:10:37,500
we'll just keep passing it
back and forth.
229
00:10:37,959 --> 00:10:39,459
Plus, I'd rather not
sleep with you
230
00:10:39,542 --> 00:10:40,792
until this thing
is out of my body.
231
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:42,705
And I've got six more days
of antibiotics.
232
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:46,752
So will you please just
go take care of it.
233
00:10:46,834 --> 00:10:50,084
Just go, get it over with.
234
00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:56,461
Steve's trip
to the doctor
235
00:10:56,542 --> 00:10:58,462
didn't do much
to cure his fear of doctors.
236
00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:02,125
Drop your trousers.
237
00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:04,748
No, there's nothing
going on down there.
238
00:11:04,834 --> 00:11:07,674
I'm just here because
my girlfriend said
to get the test.
239
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:11,790
I need a sample
from the inside of your penis.
240
00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:14,535
As Steve faced
something every man dreads,
241
00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:17,285
Miranda faced something
every woman dreads.
242
00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:20,745
She was making a list
of all the men she'd slept with.
243
00:11:20,834 --> 00:11:23,424
At least all the ones
she could remember.
244
00:11:27,250 --> 00:11:29,460
She started to wonder
how she did all these men,
245
00:11:29,542 --> 00:11:32,582
and did her law degree,
and became a successful lawyer.
246
00:11:33,667 --> 00:11:36,037
Samantha knew
her number was up there,
247
00:11:36,125 --> 00:11:38,875
but she didn't know
everybody else knew.
248
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,457
We know it was you
who buzzed in the gunman.
249
00:11:44,250 --> 00:11:45,460
Excuse me?
250
00:11:45,709 --> 00:11:47,629
You always have
guests coming in.
251
00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:50,713
Every time I'm in this elevator
you're with a different man.
252
00:11:50,792 --> 00:11:53,002
That's ridiculous!
253
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:19,920
This is your floor, ma'am.
254
00:12:21,125 --> 00:12:23,955
Oh, yeah, um...
255
00:12:24,458 --> 00:12:25,828
Excuse me.
256
00:12:27,959 --> 00:12:32,039
The next day,
Miranda's sex life was
flashing before her as well.
257
00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:35,575
Thanks, okay,
sorry to bother you.
258
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,747
And congratulations!
I guess now that you're married,
259
00:12:37,834 --> 00:12:40,214
you don't have to worry
about stuff like this.
260
00:12:40,291 --> 00:12:42,541
Bye-bye.
261
00:12:45,959 --> 00:12:48,669
Miss Hobbes,
line two's still holding.
262
00:12:49,542 --> 00:12:50,962
Miranda Hobbes.
263
00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:53,041
Hi, it's David
returning your call.
264
00:12:53,875 --> 00:12:56,455
Oh, hi, David,
how have you been?
265
00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:59,542
Lousy, I'm partner now,
and it's all work, no play.
What do you want?
266
00:12:59,625 --> 00:13:02,125
Ah, well, it's kind of awkward.
267
00:13:02,208 --> 00:13:04,878
Well, I'm kind of busy,
so spit it out.
What is it?
268
00:13:04,959 --> 00:13:08,129
Okay, I've got this...
269
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,000
It's chlamydia, which is like--
270
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:12,503
I know what chlamydia is.
271
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:16,665
Oh, well, perhaps you
should get yourself tested.
272
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:18,293
I've been tested.
273
00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:19,455
Recently?
274
00:13:19,542 --> 00:13:21,582
Yes, is that it?
275
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:24,127
Ah, I guess, ah, no!
276
00:13:24,208 --> 00:13:25,288
Did you have it?
277
00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:26,625
How's that
your business?
278
00:13:26,709 --> 00:13:28,039
You call me after
months of not talking,
279
00:13:28,125 --> 00:13:29,535
and you wanna discuss my health?
280
00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:31,331
Yes, I had it!
281
00:13:31,917 --> 00:13:33,037
So what?
282
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,290
So perhaps you gave it to me.
283
00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:37,285
What are you gonna do,
sue me?
284
00:13:37,375 --> 00:13:39,165
You know, you could
at least have called me.
285
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:40,880
Well, you told me
never to call you again!
286
00:13:40,959 --> 00:13:43,669
And now, I remember why, bye!
287
00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:45,460
Meanwhile,
I was still waiting
288
00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:48,292
for the diagnosis
on my relationship.
289
00:13:48,375 --> 00:13:51,205
Would Aidan become friend
or boyfriend?
290
00:13:51,291 --> 00:13:53,001
Delivery for Miss Bradshaw.
291
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:55,923
Well, it's about time,
I ordered this years ago.
292
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,290
Ooh!
293
00:14:01,792 --> 00:14:04,042
He certainly kissed
like a boyfriend.
294
00:14:05,417 --> 00:14:07,537
Don't you have
two matching plates?
295
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,080
No.
296
00:14:09,375 --> 00:14:12,705
What do you use for wine,
promotional coffee mugs?
297
00:14:12,792 --> 00:14:13,962
Ah!
298
00:14:14,041 --> 00:14:15,581
But he teased me
like a friend.
299
00:14:16,917 --> 00:14:19,577
Oh, come here,
you got a little something.
300
00:14:20,417 --> 00:14:21,747
Boyfriend...
301
00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:23,211
I don't care what anybody says,
302
00:14:23,291 --> 00:14:25,921
I think Catherine Zeta-Jones
is hot.
303
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,130
Friend...
304
00:14:28,458 --> 00:14:31,788
Not as hot as you,
but she's hot.
305
00:14:31,875 --> 00:14:34,575
Boyfriend, and liar.
306
00:14:38,041 --> 00:14:39,381
I think Samantha was right.
307
00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:40,578
About what?
308
00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:41,787
Me and Aidan.
309
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,170
I think we're just friends
who kiss occasionally.
310
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:46,710
Why are you whispering?
311
00:14:46,792 --> 00:14:48,632
Because he's still here.
312
00:14:48,709 --> 00:14:50,209
Well, that sounds promising.
313
00:14:50,291 --> 00:14:53,211
He's been in the bathroom
for half an hour.
314
00:14:53,291 --> 00:14:54,541
Eww.
315
00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:56,035
All we did was eat
Chinese take-out,
316
00:14:56,125 --> 00:14:57,035
and watch Zorro .
317
00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:57,995
And now, I'm working
318
00:14:58,083 --> 00:14:58,923
and he's reading a paper
319
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,170
on the John or something.
320
00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:02,380
This isn't romance,
this is bullshit.
321
00:15:02,458 --> 00:15:03,328
Carrie?
322
00:15:03,417 --> 00:15:04,457
Yeah?
323
00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:05,962
Come here a sec.
324
00:15:06,959 --> 00:15:09,959
I have to go, my "friend"
wants to see me in the bathroom.
325
00:15:10,041 --> 00:15:10,881
Bye.
326
00:15:10,959 --> 00:15:12,829
What did you want, because...
327
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:20,920
Wow.
328
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:24,170
It's like a Danielle Steel
novel in here.
329
00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:26,290
Oh, from a writer,
330
00:15:26,375 --> 00:15:27,745
I'm pretty sure
that's an insult.
331
00:15:27,834 --> 00:15:29,834
No, this is...
332
00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:32,827
wow.
333
00:15:33,917 --> 00:15:36,707
Well, I thought a bath
would help you relax.
334
00:15:36,792 --> 00:15:38,042
You seem kind of tense.
335
00:15:38,542 --> 00:15:40,422
Are you sure this
isn't just a cheap ploy
336
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:41,830
to see me naked?
337
00:15:42,750 --> 00:15:44,330
Will you be naked?
338
00:15:45,291 --> 00:15:47,131
That's the thing about baths.
339
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,290
Well, this is about you,
so enjoy.
340
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,170
I'm gonna get going.
341
00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:58,290
That doesn't make us friends,
'cause,
342
00:15:58,667 --> 00:16:00,877
I'll be thinking
about you naked.
343
00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:12,043
Big tub, little person.
344
00:16:17,834 --> 00:16:19,254
You talked me into it.
345
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,330
So now what?
346
00:16:32,917 --> 00:16:35,747
Now what what?
We're just taking a bath.
347
00:16:37,375 --> 00:16:39,785
Oh, fuck it, let's just do it.
348
00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:42,325
No, this isn't how
it's supposed to happen.
349
00:16:42,417 --> 00:16:44,127
You said this was just a bath.
350
00:16:44,417 --> 00:16:45,537
C'mon, who cares?
351
00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:48,245
You do, and I do too, now.
352
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,922
Okay, everybody, out of the tub.
353
00:16:53,458 --> 00:16:57,128
The next night,
Samantha was feeling exposed.
354
00:17:02,417 --> 00:17:04,457
Shh, here she comes!
355
00:17:09,917 --> 00:17:10,827
Good evening.
356
00:17:10,917 --> 00:17:12,207
Hello.
357
00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:28,825
If you want to say
something about me,
358
00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,417
say it to my face.
359
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:33,627
You're bad for the building.
360
00:17:33,959 --> 00:17:34,789
What?
361
00:17:34,875 --> 00:17:36,035
You have too many visitors.
362
00:17:36,125 --> 00:17:37,705
There are always
men in the hall.
363
00:17:38,083 --> 00:17:40,043
I got robbed because of you.
364
00:17:40,125 --> 00:17:40,915
Tart!
365
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,460
I can't close my left eye.
366
00:17:45,291 --> 00:17:46,711
They practically
chased me with torches
367
00:17:46,792 --> 00:17:48,252
like I was Fuckingstein!
368
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:51,213
Oh, relax, they can't
evict you for having sex.
369
00:17:51,291 --> 00:17:52,631
Oh, of course not,
they're just jealous.
370
00:17:52,709 --> 00:17:53,879
They're a bunch
of dried up old farts
371
00:17:53,959 --> 00:17:55,789
who haven't had sex
since Eisenhower!
372
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:58,285
And I remind them
of what they can't have.
373
00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:01,209
It might be time
to move.
374
00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:03,251
No, you can't move! You have
a rent-controlled apartment
375
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:04,583
on the upper east side!
376
00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:05,877
Honey,
this isn't rent control,
377
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,419
this is life control.
378
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,080
I have to go,
I have another date tonight
with Aidan.
379
00:18:09,166 --> 00:18:10,326
A date?
380
00:18:10,417 --> 00:18:11,997
Don't tell me you're
not having sex yet.
381
00:18:12,083 --> 00:18:13,583
We're not having sex yet.
382
00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,207
Then, what are you doing?
383
00:18:15,291 --> 00:18:16,751
Well, tonight, for example,
384
00:18:16,834 --> 00:18:18,214
we're going to a Blues club.
385
00:18:18,291 --> 00:18:19,881
Who's singing, you?
386
00:18:19,959 --> 00:18:22,539
Hmm. Listen, we'll have
sex eventually.
387
00:18:22,625 --> 00:18:25,165
And by the way,
I got a little preview,
388
00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:26,460
and I assure you,
389
00:18:26,542 --> 00:18:28,752
there is no curving
in any direction.
390
00:18:28,834 --> 00:18:33,464
It is straight.
Very, very, straight.
391
00:18:33,542 --> 00:18:35,792
That night,
Charlotte had a date as well.
392
00:18:35,875 --> 00:18:39,955
And he was doing his best
to be the strong, silent type.
393
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,167
What's the matter?
394
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:48,745
I'm afraid to come.
395
00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:50,964
Oh, what are you talking about?
396
00:18:51,041 --> 00:18:52,541
I'm close.
397
00:18:56,792 --> 00:18:57,792
Go ahead.
398
00:18:57,875 --> 00:19:00,205
You fucking bitch,
you fucking whore!
399
00:19:00,291 --> 00:19:04,711
Oh, I hate myself!
What's wrong with me?
400
00:19:04,792 --> 00:19:08,002
That night, Alexander
decided to stop seeing Charlotte
401
00:19:08,083 --> 00:19:10,923
and start seeing a therapist.
402
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,290
And Steve got his test back.
403
00:19:13,375 --> 00:19:15,825
It was negative,
like the rest of the experience.
404
00:19:15,917 --> 00:19:18,577
I'm telling you,
that doctor with the swab,
405
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:19,787
ouch!
406
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:21,415
I don't even wanna
swab my ears anymore.
407
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:23,040
Steve, it's my fault.
408
00:19:23,125 --> 00:19:25,535
I'm the one with the disease.
409
00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:28,325
I'm a big, dirty,
diseased whore.
410
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:31,417
Hey, that's my girlfriend
you're talking about.
411
00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:34,790
Yeah, well, you know what?
412
00:19:35,083 --> 00:19:37,543
I had to make a list
of all the guys I've slept with
413
00:19:37,625 --> 00:19:40,705
and, uh, it's not short.
414
00:19:41,125 --> 00:19:42,745
How not short?
415
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:47,540
It's... no, I can't tell you.
416
00:19:47,625 --> 00:19:49,495
I've never told
anybody my number.
417
00:19:49,583 --> 00:19:51,583
What? I'm just curious.
418
00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:53,753
You promise you won't judge me?
419
00:19:53,834 --> 00:19:54,964
Look who you're talking to.
420
00:19:55,041 --> 00:19:57,291
I spent a day
at the free clinic.
421
00:19:57,750 --> 00:20:02,580
Okay, it's like, about... 42.
422
00:20:02,667 --> 00:20:06,537
Forty-two, that's not so bad.
423
00:20:06,625 --> 00:20:07,825
That's too many.
424
00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:09,787
No, it, it's fine.
425
00:20:11,959 --> 00:20:13,329
What's your number?
426
00:20:13,417 --> 00:20:16,747
No, no, I'm not telling you.
427
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,290
C'mon!
428
00:20:19,125 --> 00:20:20,455
No, it's embarrassing.
429
00:20:20,542 --> 00:20:22,792
I've had enough
embarrassment for one week.
430
00:20:23,625 --> 00:20:24,785
What is it?
431
00:20:25,792 --> 00:20:26,922
It's ten.
432
00:20:28,583 --> 00:20:30,003
Higher.
433
00:20:30,667 --> 00:20:31,957
Sixty.
434
00:20:33,125 --> 00:20:34,455
Higher.
435
00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:36,629
Higher than 60?
436
00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:40,134
-A lot higher?
437
00:20:40,625 --> 00:20:43,075
Hey, I'm a bartender,
and I'm cute.
438
00:20:45,458 --> 00:20:48,668
Note, men who have had
a lot of sexual partners
439
00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:50,130
are not called sluts.
440
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,538
They're called
very good kissers.
441
00:20:53,333 --> 00:20:55,423
A few are even called romantics.
442
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:56,750
Well, I can't believe
you've never been
443
00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:58,174
to the Blue Note before.
444
00:20:58,458 --> 00:20:59,918
You call yourself a New Yorker.
445
00:21:00,291 --> 00:21:02,081
I've never done a lot of things.
446
00:21:02,458 --> 00:21:04,538
I can think of one thing
in particular.
447
00:21:05,291 --> 00:21:06,831
Mmm...
448
00:21:08,125 --> 00:21:09,455
Nope, that I've done.
449
00:21:09,542 --> 00:21:11,712
Oh, I can think
of one other thing.
450
00:21:14,125 --> 00:21:16,995
What do you think about me
staying the night?
451
00:21:19,208 --> 00:21:22,168
Well, I don't know,
what about Pete?
452
00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:25,250
Well, I arranged
for the super's kid
453
00:21:25,333 --> 00:21:27,543
to walk Pete and feed him.
454
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,290
And you knew this all night?
455
00:21:38,542 --> 00:21:39,542
Come on in.
456
00:21:44,875 --> 00:21:47,165
And then something
weird happened.
457
00:21:47,250 --> 00:21:49,500
For the first time
in a long time,
458
00:21:49,583 --> 00:21:51,083
I was nervous.
459
00:21:51,166 --> 00:21:52,956
Aidan and I were going
to sleep together,
460
00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:55,131
and it was going
to mean something.
461
00:21:55,208 --> 00:21:56,458
I was no virgin,
462
00:21:56,542 --> 00:21:59,382
but this was definitely
virgin territory.
463
00:22:11,625 --> 00:22:15,705
Good morning.
464
00:22:16,875 --> 00:22:19,035
Okay, that's what I wanted, bye.
465
00:22:19,125 --> 00:22:20,285
Aw!
466
00:22:22,375 --> 00:22:24,875
The nice thing about
a new relationship,
467
00:22:24,959 --> 00:22:26,789
it's a clean slate.
468
00:22:29,250 --> 00:22:31,210
And speaking of clean slates,
469
00:22:31,291 --> 00:22:34,001
Samantha moved
to the hot and trendy
Meatpacking District.
470
00:22:34,083 --> 00:22:35,673
-Good morning, ladies.
-How you doin', sweetheart?
471
00:22:35,750 --> 00:22:38,000
Where whores
were whores,
men were women,
472
00:22:38,083 --> 00:22:39,463
and rents were
much, much higher.
473
00:22:39,542 --> 00:22:41,082
Okay, bring it right in here.
474
00:22:41,417 --> 00:22:44,037
Easy, that's my bed, come on!