1 00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:02,535 L.A., 2 00:01:02,625 --> 00:01:05,625 land of perpetual sun and perpetual sun bathing. 3 00:01:05,709 --> 00:01:07,209 Which also makes it... 4 00:01:07,291 --> 00:01:09,831 land of the perpetual bikini wax. 5 00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:13,503 After a week in L.A., I made an appointment 6 00:01:13,583 --> 00:01:16,333 with the city's premiere waxer to the stars... 7 00:01:16,417 --> 00:01:18,287 - Alicia. 8 00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:20,205 -She was known for her artful work... -Oh. 9 00:01:20,291 --> 00:01:22,541 -...her lightning quick hands... -Thanks. That's great. 10 00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:23,785 Put feet ahead. 11 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:26,495 ...and her indecipherable accent. 12 00:01:26,583 --> 00:01:28,003 Excuse me? 13 00:01:30,041 --> 00:01:31,881 -Ah! 14 00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,539 All done. Beautiful. 15 00:01:34,917 --> 00:01:36,327 You look. 16 00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:40,035 Oh! 17 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,134 I got mugged! 18 00:01:42,208 --> 00:01:43,828 She took everything I got! 19 00:01:43,917 --> 00:01:45,247 It's called a Brazilian wax. 20 00:01:45,333 --> 00:01:46,753 Why didn't you tell her to stop? 21 00:01:46,834 --> 00:01:48,134 I tried. 22 00:01:48,208 --> 00:01:50,128 I feel like one of those freakin' hairless dogs. 23 00:01:50,208 --> 00:01:52,918 It's an aesthetic thing, everyone goes bare out here. 24 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,830 Of course they do. L.A. men are too lazy 25 00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:56,577 to have to go searching for anything. 26 00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:58,247 Yeah, you can't hide your light under a bush. 27 00:01:58,333 --> 00:02:00,793 Well, she must have left something, a triangle? 28 00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:02,625 A little landing strip? 29 00:02:02,709 --> 00:02:04,959 No, I am totally bald! 30 00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,961 And, might I add, freezing. 31 00:02:07,041 --> 00:02:08,251 Oh, I would've killed her. 32 00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:10,503 I'm so aware of "down there" now. 33 00:02:10,583 --> 00:02:12,963 Now I feel like I'm nothing but walking sex. 34 00:02:13,041 --> 00:02:14,671 That's the thing about the Brazilian. 35 00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:17,500 It makes you do crazy things. You have to be very careful 36 00:02:17,583 --> 00:02:19,133 who you invite to Brazil. 37 00:02:19,208 --> 00:02:21,458 Well, I'm officially RSVPing "no." 38 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:22,792 Hey, where you going? 39 00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:23,955 I'm meeting Lew. 40 00:02:24,041 --> 00:02:25,131 "Letterman" Lew? 41 00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:26,788 He doesn't work for Letterman anymore. 42 00:02:26,875 --> 00:02:29,125 He moved out here to write that New York sitcom. 43 00:02:29,208 --> 00:02:31,288 You know, the one about the three twenty-something kids 44 00:02:31,375 --> 00:02:32,455 who live in a loft? 45 00:02:32,542 --> 00:02:34,132 Oh, yeah, one's a feisty waitress. 46 00:02:34,208 --> 00:02:35,748 What are you and Lew gonna do? 47 00:02:35,834 --> 00:02:38,884 I'm sure we'll have a couple of drinks and bitch about L.A. 48 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,129 I can't believe he lives out here now. 49 00:02:41,208 --> 00:02:43,208 Well, maybe you should tell him to move to Brazil. 50 00:02:43,291 --> 00:02:44,541 I hear it's quite popular. 51 00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:46,075 So you guys are on your own tonight. 52 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,996 We're gonna go to that movie premiere thing. 53 00:02:48,083 --> 00:02:49,003 Oh, what's the movie? 54 00:02:49,083 --> 00:02:50,383 Oh, no one sees the movie. 55 00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:51,668 We're gonna use my press pass 56 00:02:51,750 --> 00:02:53,170 and get into the after-party. 57 00:02:53,250 --> 00:02:54,750 I love L.A. 58 00:02:54,834 --> 00:02:56,964 You two should get out of the sun. 59 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,247 Ah... 60 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,250 Mmm... 61 00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:04,173 Lew asked Miranda to meet him at... 62 00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:05,880 The Flowing Tree. 63 00:03:05,959 --> 00:03:08,959 Surrounded by all these tan, fit, happy people, 64 00:03:09,041 --> 00:03:10,581 she knew she would recognize 65 00:03:10,667 --> 00:03:13,917 pale, chubby, unhappy Lew immediately. 66 00:03:14,875 --> 00:03:16,075 Miranda? 67 00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:18,923 Oh, my God! 68 00:03:20,750 --> 00:03:21,960 Do I look that different? 69 00:03:22,041 --> 00:03:23,171 Well, let's just say 70 00:03:23,250 --> 00:03:25,080 it's a good thing you still wear that hat. 71 00:03:25,166 --> 00:03:27,326 Oh, please, if you ever see me in a Lakers hat-- 72 00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:28,577 I know, shoot you. 73 00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:30,287 -Exactly. Come on, sit. 74 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:32,165 You look amazing. 75 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:34,000 Thanks. You want to grab a drink? 76 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:36,043 Oh, please, yes, let's go. 77 00:03:36,125 --> 00:03:38,785 The sight of all these bleached teeth is blinding. 78 00:03:38,875 --> 00:03:40,165 No, I mean, grab something here. 79 00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:42,830 This place is known for its green tea infusions. 80 00:03:42,917 --> 00:03:44,247 Please, "infusions"? 81 00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:46,083 Could L.A. be any worse? 82 00:03:46,166 --> 00:03:48,626 Take off that hat, I'm gonna shoot you right now. 83 00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:52,577 Actually, I really like it here. 84 00:03:52,959 --> 00:03:54,379 Hang on. What happened to the guy 85 00:03:54,458 --> 00:03:56,878 I used to share beers with and make fun of happy people? 86 00:03:56,959 --> 00:03:58,669 I know, I know, the thing is... 87 00:03:59,375 --> 00:04:02,165 I think I'm one of those happy people now. 88 00:04:02,792 --> 00:04:03,582 Wow. 89 00:04:03,667 --> 00:04:04,877 I mean, good for you. 90 00:04:04,959 --> 00:04:06,329 I know it sounds crazy, 91 00:04:06,417 --> 00:04:08,707 but I think I was just supremely unhappy in New York. 92 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:11,042 I mean, I came out here and I let a lot of that 93 00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:12,875 old, toxic anger go. 94 00:04:12,959 --> 00:04:16,209 I take things slowly, get outside... 95 00:04:16,667 --> 00:04:18,287 L.A. agrees with me. 96 00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:21,035 Miranda realized she was the one standing out in that room. 97 00:04:21,125 --> 00:04:24,375 She was the only angry New Yorker for miles. 98 00:04:24,458 --> 00:04:26,998 Hey, let's go for a hike. 99 00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:31,333 Over here... Look! Look over here... Look over here... 100 00:04:33,250 --> 00:04:34,830 Smile right here! 101 00:04:34,917 --> 00:04:35,957 -Good evening! -Good evening, ma'am. 102 00:04:36,041 --> 00:04:37,581 Later that night, 103 00:04:37,667 --> 00:04:39,077 two very happy New Yorkers 104 00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:42,666 prepared to hike up their first L.A. red carpet. 105 00:04:43,709 --> 00:04:46,749 Hi, Carrie Bradshaw, I'm with the New York Star. 106 00:04:46,834 --> 00:04:48,004 Are you on the list? 107 00:04:48,083 --> 00:04:50,003 Well, I'm press... Well, I'm a columnist. 108 00:04:50,083 --> 00:04:51,213 Here, that's me. 109 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,711 Press room is to the left. 110 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,002 Crinkle cut cheese and some fat Enquirer reporters? 111 00:04:55,083 --> 00:04:56,293 I don't think so. 112 00:04:56,375 --> 00:04:57,745 Let me see your passes from the movie. 113 00:04:57,834 --> 00:04:59,294 Oh, no one goes to the movie. 114 00:04:59,375 --> 00:05:01,575 Everyone goes to the movie. 115 00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:03,747 Could you please step off the red carpet? 116 00:05:03,834 --> 00:05:05,084 Do you know who she is? 117 00:05:05,166 --> 00:05:06,956 I know she's not on the list. 118 00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:08,961 Okay, okay, okay. 119 00:05:09,041 --> 00:05:10,381 Let's just go. 120 00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:13,503 I can't believe this. This wouldn't happen in New York. 121 00:05:13,583 --> 00:05:16,633 -People know you in New York. -And no one goes to the friggin' movie. 122 00:05:16,709 --> 00:05:19,669 We're outta here. I'm getting the car out of valet hoc. 123 00:05:24,834 --> 00:05:27,134 There I was, a Hollywood nobody, 124 00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:30,378 cast off the red carpet and standing in my proper place 125 00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:32,578 on a grease-stained parking lot. 126 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:34,997 We're talking in circles here. 127 00:05:35,083 --> 00:05:37,333 That's right, we're talking in circles. 128 00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:39,920 I understand-- No, I heard you. 129 00:05:40,250 --> 00:05:41,710 Okay, sure. 130 00:05:42,667 --> 00:05:43,877 Yeah. 131 00:05:43,959 --> 00:05:45,749 Well, you tell her that when she's ready to deal, 132 00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:47,714 she can go ahead and call me herself, okay? 133 00:05:47,792 --> 00:05:49,252 I'm at a function here. 134 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:53,000 Please tell me that you have another one of those. 135 00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:55,043 Wow, and I thought I had a problem. 136 00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:56,375 Are you gonna light it for me? 137 00:05:56,458 --> 00:05:57,828 -Yeah. -Thanks. 138 00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:02,578 Mmm. 139 00:06:03,208 --> 00:06:04,918 Full tar, it's very nice. 140 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,170 I thought they banned these here. 141 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:08,330 I taped them to my body on the plane. 142 00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:09,577 New Yorker? 143 00:06:09,667 --> 00:06:10,707 Yep. 144 00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:12,172 I'm Keith Travers, 145 00:06:12,250 --> 00:06:13,670 -representing Matt Damon. -Oh. 146 00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:16,960 Carrie Bradshaw, I'm representing myself. 147 00:06:17,041 --> 00:06:20,131 -Actress? -Oh, no, no, no, writer. 148 00:06:20,208 --> 00:06:21,498 You're too pretty to be a writer. 149 00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:23,915 And that's too cheesy a line 150 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,460 for you to be a writer. 151 00:06:25,542 --> 00:06:27,172 It's gonna take a fucking hour to get the car. 152 00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:29,540 Samantha Jones, meet, um... 153 00:06:29,625 --> 00:06:30,625 Keith Travers. 154 00:06:30,709 --> 00:06:32,129 He's representing Matt Damon. 155 00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:34,420 And you ladies aren't going anywhere. 156 00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:35,880 If you say so. 157 00:06:35,959 --> 00:06:37,629 Should we go inside? 158 00:06:37,792 --> 00:06:39,712 Let's enjoy our evening, huh? 159 00:06:39,792 --> 00:06:41,292 Once we got inside, 160 00:06:41,375 --> 00:06:42,915 our magic carpet ride really began. 161 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,830 I can't believe that they wouldn't let someone like you in. 162 00:06:44,917 --> 00:06:46,207 That's a total disconnect. 163 00:06:46,458 --> 00:06:48,208 -A "disconnect"? -Yeah, excuse me, guys. 164 00:06:48,291 --> 00:06:50,881 Yeah, a disconnect, that's like, you know, a fuck up. 165 00:06:50,959 --> 00:06:53,419 Oh, a "disconnect." 166 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,500 Yeah. 167 00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:56,213 You writers are word Nazi's, huh? 168 00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:58,171 -You're gonna ride me with that. 169 00:06:58,250 --> 00:06:59,580 -Uh, hey. 170 00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:01,747 Someone's ass is ringing and it ain't mine. 171 00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:03,174 But yours would if it could. 172 00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,250 It would ring if it could ring. Excuse me, I gotta-- 173 00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,213 I'll just be one second, okay? 174 00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:09,381 Enjoy yourself, you're in now, so... 175 00:07:12,208 --> 00:07:14,578 That is one tall drink of water. 176 00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:16,497 Uh-huh. 177 00:07:22,166 --> 00:07:24,246 Samantha had worshipped Hugh Hefner 178 00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:25,673 ever since she was old enough 179 00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:27,250 -to steal her father's Playboys. -Oh, my God. 180 00:07:27,333 --> 00:07:29,923 To her, this wasn't a celebrity sighting... 181 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,290 This was the celebrity sighting. 182 00:07:32,375 --> 00:07:33,825 I'll be back. 183 00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:40,668 Hugh, hi. 184 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,710 -Hello. -I'm Samantha Jones. 185 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:44,672 -Well, hello. -I just wanted to tell you, 186 00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:45,880 I'm a huge fan. 187 00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:48,129 Well, in that case, join us for a drink. 188 00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:49,628 -A drink? That'd be great. 189 00:07:49,709 --> 00:07:51,669 Oh, well, thank you. 190 00:07:52,250 --> 00:07:54,250 -Seriously? 191 00:07:57,542 --> 00:07:59,002 Drinking with three blondes, 192 00:07:59,083 --> 00:08:02,133 I guess that's just a regular day for you. 193 00:08:02,208 --> 00:08:03,748 A slow one, yes. 194 00:08:06,208 --> 00:08:08,038 Listen, I'm pretty crazed this week, 195 00:08:08,125 --> 00:08:10,245 but I do have a lunch opening on Wednesday. 196 00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:11,633 Can I take you out? 197 00:08:11,709 --> 00:08:13,459 -Link, great table... -Oh. 198 00:08:13,542 --> 00:08:16,962 I had been trying to get into Link for a week. 199 00:08:17,041 --> 00:08:18,631 He seemed smart and sexy, 200 00:08:18,709 --> 00:08:19,999 and this outsider 201 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:21,713 was starting to like the view from the inside. 202 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:23,132 -Yeah, okay. -Great. 203 00:08:23,208 --> 00:08:24,378 -Sure. Okay. -Great. 204 00:08:24,458 --> 00:08:25,828 -Hey, Keith. -Hey, how are ya? 205 00:08:25,917 --> 00:08:27,207 You know, there's a VIP room. 206 00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:29,750 You wanna go to the VIP room? 207 00:08:30,417 --> 00:08:31,827 Yeah, I wanna go to the VIP room. 208 00:08:31,917 --> 00:08:33,287 -Okay, let's go. VIP room. -VIP room? 209 00:08:33,375 --> 00:08:35,915 -All right. -All right. 210 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,080 Back home, Charlotte had never felt more inside. 211 00:08:39,166 --> 00:08:40,956 She had just attended her first 212 00:08:41,041 --> 00:08:42,961 black-tie doctor's benefit. 213 00:08:44,166 --> 00:08:45,916 Mmm. Mmm. 214 00:08:48,166 --> 00:08:50,326 Damn, we make a fine looking couple. 215 00:08:50,417 --> 00:08:52,287 Yes, we do. 216 00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:56,575 So, how did I do? 217 00:08:57,166 --> 00:09:00,036 Well, Mrs. MacDougal, you did quite well. 218 00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:03,035 Well, thank you, Dr. MacDougal. 219 00:09:03,458 --> 00:09:06,038 You know, doctor, I have an itch 220 00:09:06,125 --> 00:09:08,625 I was hoping you could help me out with. 221 00:09:11,667 --> 00:09:12,827 Trey. 222 00:09:15,667 --> 00:09:17,707 You know, maybe it's time 223 00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,632 we really thought about some options, 224 00:09:19,709 --> 00:09:21,209 like, like Viagra. 225 00:09:21,291 --> 00:09:22,501 Viagra? 226 00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:24,463 Charlotte, are you aware 227 00:09:24,542 --> 00:09:27,632 that Viagra is a killer for men with heart problems? 228 00:09:28,083 --> 00:09:31,293 And let me remind you, my father died of a heart attack 229 00:09:31,375 --> 00:09:33,165 and it runs in my family. 230 00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:35,920 Trey wasn't the only one with heart problems. 231 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,790 I'm just trying to help. 232 00:09:38,834 --> 00:09:41,174 Now I'm tense. I'm going for a run. 233 00:09:41,250 --> 00:09:44,130 It was the fifth time Trey had gone running at bedtime 234 00:09:44,208 --> 00:09:47,038 in the last two weeks. 235 00:09:47,125 --> 00:09:48,785 The next day, Samantha decided 236 00:09:48,875 --> 00:09:50,415 to get some exercise as well. 237 00:09:50,500 --> 00:09:53,920 Unfortunately, her pocketbook was getting most of the workout. 238 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,500 Fendi, 150. 239 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:03,497 And so she decided to give her old pocketbook a rest. 240 00:10:12,333 --> 00:10:14,423 That day, as Charlotte picked up my mail, 241 00:10:14,500 --> 00:10:17,830 she realized she missed a lot more than just her sex life... 242 00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:19,497 She missed her single life. 243 00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:23,881 And if Trey could run away from their problems, 244 00:10:23,959 --> 00:10:25,039 so could she. 245 00:10:28,583 --> 00:10:30,253 I can't deal with Trey. 246 00:10:30,333 --> 00:10:32,133 Okay, honey, calling to tell me that 247 00:10:32,208 --> 00:10:33,918 might have been a little more economical. 248 00:10:34,875 --> 00:10:38,245 And, I just-- I really missed you guys. 249 00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,673 Well, we missed you too. 250 00:10:41,375 --> 00:10:43,415 So, Trey is... 251 00:10:43,834 --> 00:10:45,084 It's not working. 252 00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,826 And he refuses to even talk about it. 253 00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:50,294 I take it from the wheelie bag, you'll be staying? 254 00:10:50,667 --> 00:10:52,127 I really need a vacation. 255 00:10:52,208 --> 00:10:54,378 Well, you came to the right place. 256 00:10:54,458 --> 00:10:56,288 I gotta meet this Keith guy, 257 00:10:56,375 --> 00:10:59,495 um, but Miranda and Samantha are down by the pool. 258 00:10:59,583 --> 00:11:01,383 -Oh... -Oh... 259 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,924 Charlotte glanced down at the glistening pool, 260 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,330 and, just like that, 261 00:11:10,417 --> 00:11:13,377 her marriage and Trey seemed very far away. 262 00:11:16,959 --> 00:11:19,169 Before lunch, I agreed to go with Keith 263 00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:21,420 to see a house he was interested in. 264 00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:29,377 Jesus, this is not a house, this is an airport. 265 00:11:29,959 --> 00:11:31,289 It's Lorenzo Lamas's. 266 00:11:31,375 --> 00:11:33,995 He's asking 3.4, but it'll go for 3.2. 267 00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:36,083 -Now there's a bargain. 268 00:11:36,166 --> 00:11:38,206 -Yes? -Hey, come check out the view. 269 00:11:38,291 --> 00:11:41,381 In New York, a first date is dinner and a movie. 270 00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:42,998 In L.A., it's lunch 271 00:11:43,083 --> 00:11:45,673 and seeing a 3.4 million dollar house. 272 00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:47,080 So, what do you think? 273 00:11:47,291 --> 00:11:49,831 I think I should be working in syndicated television. 274 00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:50,957 But it's good, right? 275 00:11:51,041 --> 00:11:53,961 It's really good. 276 00:11:54,917 --> 00:11:58,457 But does a single guy like you need this much space? 277 00:11:58,542 --> 00:11:59,672 Probably not. 278 00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:01,580 But come on, I mean, it looks good. 279 00:12:01,667 --> 00:12:02,917 And so did he... 280 00:12:11,625 --> 00:12:14,495 And there, in the South American's living room, 281 00:12:14,583 --> 00:12:16,963 my Brazilian made me kiss him. 282 00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:21,789 Wait till you see the hot tub! 283 00:12:24,458 --> 00:12:26,328 We should go check out the hot tub, huh? 284 00:12:26,417 --> 00:12:28,247 Okey dokey. 285 00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:33,245 I'll have the egg white omelet with no cheese, 286 00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:34,923 but tomatoes and mushrooms, 287 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,630 and instead of the fries, a side of fruit with no grapes. 288 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,540 And a half decaf skim. 289 00:12:40,625 --> 00:12:43,205 Can I suggest that you get the mushrooms steamed? 290 00:12:43,291 --> 00:12:46,331 'Cause it lightens the calories but retains the flavor. 291 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:48,377 Great, thanks. 292 00:12:48,875 --> 00:12:50,875 -I really like L.A. -Who wouldn't? 293 00:12:50,959 --> 00:12:52,629 Keith wants to buy a three million dollar house 294 00:12:52,709 --> 00:12:54,129 and I can't even afford new curtains. 295 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,288 That's where the guy's out here have New York men beat. 296 00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:57,245 Real estate. 297 00:12:57,333 --> 00:12:58,173 Mmm. 298 00:12:58,250 --> 00:13:00,040 Lew may be the perfect guy. 299 00:13:00,125 --> 00:13:02,245 -"Letterman" Lew? Yeah! 300 00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:04,673 He's an ideal combination of the two coasts. 301 00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,420 He's still a New Yorker at heart, 302 00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:08,960 but he's lost all his anger and neuroses 303 00:13:09,041 --> 00:13:10,921 and 30 pounds. 304 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,290 Wait a minute, we're New Yorkers. 305 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:13,875 Aren't we supposed to like the neurotic guys? 306 00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:16,749 Oh, honey, the Woody Allen thing? So over. 307 00:13:16,834 --> 00:13:19,384 I'm telling you, he's a changed man. 308 00:13:19,458 --> 00:13:21,128 He's really spiritual and happy. 309 00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:22,578 He met the Dalai Lama. 310 00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:24,207 So? I met Hugh Hefner. 311 00:13:24,291 --> 00:13:27,171 One woman's pornographer is another woman's spiritual leader. 312 00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:29,630 Maybe he's on to something, you know? 313 00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:32,125 Maybe it's time I stopped being so angry. 314 00:13:32,208 --> 00:13:34,128 Yeah, but what would you do with all your free time? 315 00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:36,538 I'll tell you what you could do. 316 00:13:37,917 --> 00:13:38,997 -Shop. 317 00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:40,043 Jesus! 318 00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:41,375 No, you didn't! 319 00:13:41,458 --> 00:13:43,288 That's like, three thousand dollars! 320 00:13:43,375 --> 00:13:44,665 Or a hundred-fifty. 321 00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:46,500 -Fake. -No. 322 00:13:46,583 --> 00:13:48,463 Oh, my God, it looks so real. 323 00:13:48,542 --> 00:13:49,792 -I know. -Gimme that. 324 00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:51,125 You'd never know it wasn't a real Fendi 325 00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:53,128 unless you looked inside at the lining. 326 00:13:53,208 --> 00:13:56,078 Yeah, I don't have that luxury. All my insides are on the outside now. 327 00:13:56,166 --> 00:13:57,996 -I don't like fakes. Oh, who cares? 328 00:13:58,083 --> 00:13:59,463 All that matters is what it looks like. 329 00:13:59,542 --> 00:14:00,962 It's pretty good, it's pretty good. 330 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:02,831 We could go get more, I got the guy's card. 331 00:14:02,917 --> 00:14:05,247 He lives somewhere called the Valley. 332 00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:08,173 Could you have more condoms? 333 00:14:08,250 --> 00:14:09,500 I did, yes. 334 00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:11,833 I am just so happy 335 00:14:11,917 --> 00:14:14,457 to be out of that condom stage of life. 336 00:14:14,542 --> 00:14:16,752 And here I thought it was called "my thirties." 337 00:14:16,834 --> 00:14:18,964 It's so nice to go to bed with the same man every night. 338 00:14:19,041 --> 00:14:21,831 Please tell me you didn't come to L.A. To regale us with stories 339 00:14:21,917 --> 00:14:24,207 about how much sex you're having, now that you're married. 340 00:14:24,291 --> 00:14:26,171 Charlotte didn't have the nerve to tell them 341 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,500 her conjugal bliss was a conjugal miss. 342 00:14:28,583 --> 00:14:31,583 So, what should I do first in L.A.? 343 00:14:31,834 --> 00:14:34,384 Well, the first thing you'll need is 344 00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,128 a good bikini wax. 345 00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:39,288 Hey, you should try Alicia. 346 00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,463 -Ow! 347 00:14:49,125 --> 00:14:52,205 That night, after hours of stress-free pool time 348 00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:54,541 I realized something startling... 349 00:14:54,625 --> 00:14:57,415 I was actually starting to like L.A. 350 00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:01,794 New Yorkers are trained to hate Los Angeles. 351 00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:04,705 This supposedly is a place where intellect is ridiculed 352 00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:07,462 and who you date and what you look like is revered. 353 00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:10,172 Yet here we were having the time of our lives. 354 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,210 The men were happy, the homes were huge, 355 00:15:12,291 --> 00:15:13,581 the bags looked great. 356 00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:15,827 And maybe that was enough. 357 00:15:15,917 --> 00:15:17,917 The weather moves from west to east. 358 00:15:18,041 --> 00:15:19,381 Was it just a matter of time 359 00:15:19,458 --> 00:15:22,078 before the truth blew across Manhattan? 360 00:15:22,166 --> 00:15:24,576 When it comes to bags, men and cities... 361 00:15:24,667 --> 00:15:28,377 is it really what's outside that counts? 362 00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:31,038 The next day, Samantha and I went to the Valley 363 00:15:31,125 --> 00:15:32,205 for Fendi bags. 364 00:15:32,291 --> 00:15:34,211 This is it, 4-5-3-8-6. 365 00:15:34,291 --> 00:15:36,251 Is that an address or a zip code? 366 00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:37,423 I don't know. 367 00:15:37,500 --> 00:15:39,420 I miss Lorenzo Lamas's neighborhood. 368 00:15:44,208 --> 00:15:45,748 My God. 369 00:15:45,834 --> 00:15:47,544 Oh, there he is. 370 00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:52,790 We had found it, fake Fendi paradise. 371 00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:57,210 He should really work on his display area. 372 00:15:57,583 --> 00:15:59,883 Seven for a thousand, huh, you like? 373 00:16:00,875 --> 00:16:02,205 I should have liked them. 374 00:16:02,291 --> 00:16:03,961 But staring into that trunk, 375 00:16:04,041 --> 00:16:06,171 they no longer looked like elegant Fendi bags. 376 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,630 They just looked cheap. 377 00:16:07,709 --> 00:16:09,499 And even if everyone else thought it was real, 378 00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:13,133 I'd always know my bag came from a cardboard box in a trunk 379 00:16:13,208 --> 00:16:14,668 -deep in the Valley. -This is good. Very good quality. 380 00:16:14,750 --> 00:16:17,330 You know what? I don't think so. 381 00:16:17,709 --> 00:16:18,999 You don't want a bag now? 382 00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:21,713 I'm sorry, they're very nice, it's just... 383 00:16:21,792 --> 00:16:24,712 Yeah, yeah. Please, don't smoke near the bags, huh? 384 00:16:27,125 --> 00:16:29,665 We drove for two hours in the Valley. 385 00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:32,578 -God. -That's it. 386 00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:34,207 We're going back to the hotel. 387 00:16:34,291 --> 00:16:35,291 Oh, my God! 388 00:16:35,375 --> 00:16:37,205 They just looked so... 389 00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:40,131 sad staring up at me from that trunk. 390 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,458 They were waiting for some nice lady to adopt them. 391 00:16:42,542 --> 00:16:43,962 I was almost eaten by dogs. 392 00:16:44,041 --> 00:16:45,581 The least you could've done was buy a bag. 393 00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:47,377 Well, I guess I'd rather wait for the real thing. 394 00:16:47,458 --> 00:16:49,828 Then at least you know it's, it's one of a kind 395 00:16:49,917 --> 00:16:51,707 and special or something. 396 00:16:53,583 --> 00:16:55,633 My marriage is a fake Fendi. 397 00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:56,789 Excuse me? 398 00:16:56,875 --> 00:16:58,625 Trey and I look like the perfect couple 399 00:16:58,709 --> 00:16:59,709 from the outside, 400 00:16:59,792 --> 00:17:02,752 but on the inside, it's all fake. 401 00:17:03,250 --> 00:17:04,920 It's not special. 402 00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,575 He can't even get it up. 403 00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:07,627 What? 404 00:17:08,208 --> 00:17:09,498 We've never had sex. 405 00:17:09,583 --> 00:17:10,833 You've never had sex? 406 00:17:10,917 --> 00:17:13,207 -But you've been married for-- -Over a month! 407 00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:14,251 You've never had sex? 408 00:17:14,625 --> 00:17:16,625 It's not a physical thing, it's emotional. 409 00:17:17,041 --> 00:17:18,421 You knew about this? 410 00:17:18,750 --> 00:17:21,080 She told me at the wedding. 411 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,752 Well, I was afraid you'd just say you told me so 412 00:17:24,834 --> 00:17:27,634 and then I should never have gotten married so quickly! 413 00:17:28,125 --> 00:17:30,455 Charlotte, who am I to judge you? 414 00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:33,325 We all have our own paths in life. 415 00:17:33,417 --> 00:17:35,377 Apparently, three days with Lew 416 00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:37,538 had changed Miranda from deeply sarcastic 417 00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:39,745 to Deepak Chopra. 418 00:17:40,959 --> 00:17:42,419 What am I gonna do? 419 00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:44,250 Wait, you've never had sex? 420 00:17:44,333 --> 00:17:46,543 -She's never had sex! -It's only been a month. 421 00:17:46,625 --> 00:17:48,955 Hey, he hasn't seen Brazil. 422 00:17:49,041 --> 00:17:52,541 -A second honeymoon to South America. 423 00:17:52,625 --> 00:17:54,035 That might do the trick. 424 00:17:54,125 --> 00:17:55,745 I know how to cheer you up. 425 00:17:55,834 --> 00:17:57,044 A trip to the Playboy mansion. 426 00:17:57,125 --> 00:17:59,455 Hef invited us over for one of those 427 00:17:59,542 --> 00:18:02,042 Playmate pool parties tomorrow afternoon. 428 00:18:02,125 --> 00:18:04,205 "Hef"? Did you say, "Hef"? 429 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:05,501 Why would that cheer her up? 430 00:18:05,583 --> 00:18:07,543 Does she look like a 22-year-old frat boy? 431 00:18:07,625 --> 00:18:09,915 No, but it wouldn't hurt for us to meet some. 432 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,580 Sorry, not going. 433 00:18:11,667 --> 00:18:13,577 Oh, come on, it would be fun. 434 00:18:13,667 --> 00:18:15,377 We're in L.A. 435 00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:19,250 All right, fine, but I better be on the guest list. 436 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:20,923 Later that night, I was a guest 437 00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,960 at Keith's amazing house. 438 00:18:23,041 --> 00:18:24,421 He made sizzling scallops, 439 00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:26,750 and after dinner, things got even hotter. 440 00:18:26,834 --> 00:18:28,504 I like hot tubs. 441 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,415 New York should have more hot tubs, 442 00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:32,170 like on roofs and stuff. 443 00:18:32,834 --> 00:18:34,504 Well, if you like that... 444 00:19:02,959 --> 00:19:05,039 While I was going native with Keith, 445 00:19:05,125 --> 00:19:07,125 Miranda and Lew went back to New York... 446 00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:09,128 or at least to the New York strip steak. 447 00:19:09,208 --> 00:19:10,668 Oh, this looks great. 448 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,580 Oh, my God, do I miss this smell. 449 00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:14,787 So, you were saying? 450 00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:16,995 You should really read Zen and the Art of Modern Living. 451 00:19:17,083 --> 00:19:18,253 It is so calming. 452 00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:20,293 I'm still trying to get used to bath beads. 453 00:19:20,375 --> 00:19:22,825 You are so New York. 454 00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:25,333 C'mon, don't you miss it? 455 00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:26,497 Just a little? 456 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:28,793 No. I get to write about it every day. 457 00:19:28,875 --> 00:19:30,955 But that's not New York, it's a sound stage. 458 00:19:31,041 --> 00:19:32,961 Twenty-somethings with tiny salaries 459 00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:35,751 don't live in huge SoHo lofts painted bright colors. 460 00:19:35,834 --> 00:19:37,084 It's totally fake. 461 00:19:37,166 --> 00:19:38,286 I think 40 million viewers 462 00:19:38,375 --> 00:19:40,285 would disagree with you on that one. 463 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,580 Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm. 464 00:19:47,542 --> 00:19:49,332 Is something wrong with your steak? 465 00:19:49,417 --> 00:19:51,457 No, uh-uh, it's great. 466 00:20:02,542 --> 00:20:03,832 What are you doing? 467 00:20:03,917 --> 00:20:04,997 I'm tasting my food. 468 00:20:05,083 --> 00:20:07,253 Why aren't you swallowing your food? 469 00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:09,923 Do you think I look this good by eating? 470 00:20:10,041 --> 00:20:12,671 Miranda realized Lew hadn't found inner peace, 471 00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:14,460 he'd found an eating disorder. 472 00:20:14,542 --> 00:20:15,712 Are you serious? 473 00:20:15,792 --> 00:20:18,002 Miranda, don't put your toxic shit on me. 474 00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:19,633 This is fucking L.A., okay? 475 00:20:19,709 --> 00:20:21,629 You have no idea what kind of pressure I'm under here! 476 00:20:21,709 --> 00:20:23,959 Who cares what you look like? You're a writer! 477 00:20:24,041 --> 00:20:25,211 For a hit show! 478 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,628 Trust me, no one wants to hire a fat story editor. 479 00:20:27,709 --> 00:20:30,629 All Miranda wanted to do was rip that Knicks hat off his head, 480 00:20:30,709 --> 00:20:32,879 because no self-respecting New Yorker 481 00:20:32,959 --> 00:20:35,379 would ever spit out that good a steak. 482 00:20:35,458 --> 00:20:36,958 Jesus fucking Christ! 483 00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:38,920 Now I've lost my appetite. 484 00:20:41,208 --> 00:20:43,538 Waking up in Keith's sun-filled bedroom, 485 00:20:43,625 --> 00:20:46,165 I was starting to feel like 3.4 million myself. 486 00:20:46,250 --> 00:20:48,630 I really like what you have going on down there. 487 00:20:48,709 --> 00:20:50,789 That would be a whole lot of nothin'. 488 00:20:50,875 --> 00:20:52,165 Yeah. 489 00:20:53,625 --> 00:20:54,955 Don't you ever work? 490 00:20:55,041 --> 00:20:56,581 I don't have anything till 11:00. 491 00:20:56,667 --> 00:20:58,497 -Nice life. -Yeah. 492 00:21:01,667 --> 00:21:04,417 What the fuck do you think you're doing? 493 00:21:04,834 --> 00:21:08,674 I told you, no prostitutes when you're house sitting! 494 00:21:09,208 --> 00:21:10,418 You're a house sitter? 495 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:12,880 Personal assistant. Personal assistant. 496 00:21:12,959 --> 00:21:14,379 I thought you were an agent. 497 00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:17,038 Please, I wish I could get my agent to water my plants. 498 00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:20,205 Apparently, the life I was coveting wasn't Keith's. 499 00:21:20,291 --> 00:21:21,541 It was Carrie Fisher's. 500 00:21:21,625 --> 00:21:22,785 You are so fired. 501 00:21:22,875 --> 00:21:24,245 Wait till I tell Penny. 502 00:21:24,333 --> 00:21:26,173 Does this mean that I'm gonna have to return her car? 503 00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:27,380 And Penny Marshall's. 504 00:21:27,458 --> 00:21:28,958 I'm just-- I'm gonna... 505 00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,880 You might need these. 506 00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:33,039 Thank you. 507 00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:35,462 Are you going to bring prostitutes 508 00:21:35,542 --> 00:21:37,752 to Ben's new three million dollar home? 509 00:21:37,834 --> 00:21:38,924 And Ben Affleck's. 510 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,960 You know, I'm not a prostitute. 511 00:21:41,041 --> 00:21:42,581 I'm Carrie Bradshaw. 512 00:21:43,417 --> 00:21:45,497 I'm a writer, too. Well, actually, I'm-- 513 00:21:45,583 --> 00:21:48,043 Well, I have a column in New York. 514 00:21:48,625 --> 00:21:50,285 I'm Carrie, you're Carrie. 515 00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:52,575 I write, you write. 516 00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:56,331 I have a child, you know, I really-- I can't do this. 517 00:21:57,542 --> 00:21:59,672 Have you guys been smoking in here? 518 00:22:01,542 --> 00:22:02,922 Um... 519 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:08,250 This was always on. 520 00:22:09,208 --> 00:22:13,038 The dry cleaning and the cat food, that's all done. 521 00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:16,455 It was the perfect ending to my week of make-believe. 522 00:22:16,542 --> 00:22:19,922 A visit to the Playboy mansion, and the Playmate pool party. 523 00:22:21,750 --> 00:22:24,670 Okay, could our lives get any weirder? 524 00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:26,210 Nothing surprises me anymore. 525 00:22:26,291 --> 00:22:28,421 Apparently, in L.A., house sitters are somebodies 526 00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:30,330 and New York writers are prostitutes. 527 00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:32,957 Oh, sweetie, you're at least a high-class escort. 528 00:22:33,041 --> 00:22:34,791 -Thank you. -Fuck Carrie Fisher! 529 00:22:34,875 --> 00:22:36,995 -Oh, now we're angry again? -Oh, yeah. 530 00:22:37,083 --> 00:22:38,423 Well, frankly, I blame the wax. 531 00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:40,080 That's it, blame it on Rio. 532 00:22:40,166 --> 00:22:40,956 What? 533 00:22:41,041 --> 00:22:43,001 ♪ I like to dream ♪ 534 00:22:43,083 --> 00:22:44,673 After the sun went down, 535 00:22:44,750 --> 00:22:46,750 the party really started heating up. 536 00:22:47,417 --> 00:22:50,577 Where are the girls in the satin outfits and the bunny ears? 537 00:22:50,667 --> 00:22:53,537 Yeah, I want to see some bunny ears. 538 00:22:57,834 --> 00:23:00,544 Meanwhile, somewhere between the Italian grotto 539 00:23:00,625 --> 00:23:01,705 and the petting zoo, 540 00:23:01,792 --> 00:23:03,542 Charlotte found something real. 541 00:23:03,625 --> 00:23:04,875 His name was Ian. 542 00:23:04,959 --> 00:23:06,709 And that's when I started collecting Hockney. 543 00:23:06,792 --> 00:23:08,502 I love Hockney! 544 00:23:08,875 --> 00:23:11,745 Oh, the colors in his pool series are so L.A.! 545 00:23:11,834 --> 00:23:14,754 The blues and those deep, deep greens. 546 00:23:14,834 --> 00:23:16,254 Oh, God. 547 00:23:16,333 --> 00:23:19,543 It is such a pleasure talking to an intelligent woman for once. 548 00:23:19,625 --> 00:23:22,375 And I love talking to you, too. 549 00:23:22,458 --> 00:23:25,378 It's so nice to be with a man who talks. 550 00:23:25,458 --> 00:23:26,918 I love L.A.! 551 00:23:27,458 --> 00:23:31,458 I guess that third welcome wagon drink has finally kicked in. 552 00:23:33,041 --> 00:23:34,921 This is bad of me! 553 00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,210 Is this bad of me? I mean, I'm drunk and-- 554 00:23:37,291 --> 00:23:39,291 I'm laying here with a man I hardly know! 555 00:23:39,375 --> 00:23:41,075 It's the Playboy mansion. 556 00:23:41,166 --> 00:23:43,126 I mean, things could be a lot worse. 557 00:23:44,667 --> 00:23:46,037 You're nice, Ian. 558 00:23:46,125 --> 00:23:48,125 You're really, really nice. 559 00:23:48,208 --> 00:23:49,998 And you're nice too, Charlotte. 560 00:23:50,959 --> 00:23:54,169 Hey, let me buy you some boobs. 561 00:23:55,166 --> 00:23:56,076 Pardon me? 562 00:23:56,166 --> 00:23:57,826 What? It's a gift. 563 00:23:57,917 --> 00:24:01,457 I don't need any breasts! 564 00:24:01,542 --> 00:24:05,252 Charlotte had forgotten how awful single life could be. 565 00:24:05,333 --> 00:24:07,503 And suddenly, marriage, with all its problems, 566 00:24:07,583 --> 00:24:09,543 wasn't looking so bad. 567 00:24:12,458 --> 00:24:14,748 Oh! Someone stole my fake Fendi! 568 00:24:14,834 --> 00:24:16,964 -Are you sure? -I put the bag down beside me, 569 00:24:17,041 --> 00:24:18,961 when I got up it was gone! 570 00:24:19,875 --> 00:24:21,125 Oh, my God! 571 00:24:21,208 --> 00:24:23,378 That bunny's got my bag! 572 00:24:29,500 --> 00:24:31,460 -All right, gimme my bag! -Excuse me? 573 00:24:31,542 --> 00:24:33,672 -You stole my bag. -This is my bag. 574 00:24:33,875 --> 00:24:35,455 Are we having a problem here? 575 00:24:35,542 --> 00:24:36,382 Yes! 576 00:24:36,458 --> 00:24:37,378 I'm sorry to tell you this, 577 00:24:37,458 --> 00:24:39,248 but this bunny stole my bag. 578 00:24:39,333 --> 00:24:40,583 It's my bag. 579 00:24:41,625 --> 00:24:43,875 -She says it's her bag. -Look on the inside. 580 00:24:43,959 --> 00:24:46,129 You'll see, there's a label that says "made in China" 581 00:24:46,208 --> 00:24:48,378 and there's a bunch of condoms in there. 582 00:24:51,041 --> 00:24:52,881 See? "Fendi." 583 00:24:52,959 --> 00:24:54,789 Samantha was mortified. 584 00:24:54,875 --> 00:24:57,535 She assumed everything on the bunny was fake. 585 00:24:59,500 --> 00:25:01,330 Okay, then... 586 00:25:01,417 --> 00:25:03,537 Innocent mistake. 587 00:25:03,625 --> 00:25:05,455 Apparently, one nod from Hef 588 00:25:05,542 --> 00:25:07,542 and the pool party was over. 589 00:25:07,834 --> 00:25:09,754 I'm not leaving without my friends. 590 00:25:10,250 --> 00:25:12,960 I'm so sorry. 591 00:25:13,041 --> 00:25:16,631 The fake Fendi ended up costing 150 for the bag, 592 00:25:16,709 --> 00:25:19,499 2,000 in stolen credit card charges, 593 00:25:19,583 --> 00:25:23,133 and unspecified costs to Samantha's ego. 594 00:25:24,417 --> 00:25:25,877 And across the compound, 595 00:25:25,959 --> 00:25:29,459 Miranda and I took a wrong turn on the way to the buffet. 596 00:25:36,583 --> 00:25:39,043 Look at that. Tit soup. 597 00:25:40,500 --> 00:25:42,460 It's time to go home. 598 00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:44,292 Oh, there you are. 599 00:25:44,792 --> 00:25:45,752 We have to leave. 600 00:25:45,834 --> 00:25:46,964 We are. 601 00:25:47,041 --> 00:25:48,671 Right now. 602 00:25:48,750 --> 00:25:51,460 Oh, relax, we're going, we're going. 603 00:25:51,917 --> 00:25:54,127 -What'd she do? -I don't know. 604 00:25:56,500 --> 00:25:57,710 What happened? 605 00:25:57,792 --> 00:26:01,042 All right, all right. 606 00:26:01,125 --> 00:26:04,875 The next day, four New Yorkers left L.A. a little lighter. 607 00:26:04,959 --> 00:26:06,879 Some of us had lost our hair, 608 00:26:06,959 --> 00:26:09,129 and all of us had lost a little dignity. 609 00:26:09,208 --> 00:26:10,998 Samantha couldn't wait to get back 610 00:26:11,083 --> 00:26:13,253 to the crime-free streets of Manhattan. 611 00:26:13,333 --> 00:26:15,883 Miranda couldn't wait to get back to men who swallowed. 612 00:26:15,959 --> 00:26:18,579 Charlotte couldn't wait to get back to Trey. 613 00:26:18,667 --> 00:26:20,037 And as for me? 614 00:26:20,125 --> 00:26:22,285 -I couldn't wait. -You can't smoke in here. 615 00:26:22,375 --> 00:26:25,165 Oh, relax, we're going, we're going. 616 00:26:34,792 --> 00:26:37,382 Six hours later, I was home. 617 00:26:37,458 --> 00:26:38,668 And it looked even better 618 00:26:38,750 --> 00:26:40,830 on the inside than I remembered it. 619 00:26:40,917 --> 00:26:44,127 Because inside... it was all real. 620 00:26:49,667 --> 00:26:52,167 I was starting to feel like myself again. 621 00:26:54,333 --> 00:26:56,133 And the rest of me would grow back... 622 00:26:56,208 --> 00:26:57,538 eventually.