1
00:00:58,375 --> 00:01:00,915
They say that if you've
lived in New York for ten years,
2
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,960
you can officially
call yourself a New Yorker.
3
00:01:04,041 --> 00:01:05,381
But the trained eye
4
00:01:05,458 --> 00:01:07,878
can always spot the ones
who were born here.
5
00:01:08,291 --> 00:01:09,791
I want it all, I want it now,
6
00:01:09,875 --> 00:01:11,875
and I want you to get it for me.
7
00:01:11,959 --> 00:01:14,289
After firing
her last two publicists,
8
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:17,325
Jenny Brier,
the daughter of a wealthy
New York restaurateur,
9
00:01:17,417 --> 00:01:20,457
had decided that Samantha
would be taking over the PR
10
00:01:20,542 --> 00:01:22,002
for her upcoming party.
11
00:01:22,959 --> 00:01:25,079
I want Vanity Fair , Carson Dal,
12
00:01:25,166 --> 00:01:26,746
People, Teen People,
13
00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:28,254
In Style , 'N Sync--
14
00:01:28,333 --> 00:01:29,923
Jenny, sweetie,
15
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:33,630
don't take this the wrong way,
but, how old are you?
16
00:01:33,709 --> 00:01:36,249
Hello,
it's my bat mitzvah party,
I'm 13!
17
00:01:36,333 --> 00:01:38,173
You're 13 years old?
18
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:40,170
Duh.
What are you, like, 45?
19
00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:43,500
And just like that,
the meeting was officially over.
20
00:01:43,583 --> 00:01:46,423
I'm sorry,
I don't do kids' parties.
21
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:47,880
Sweetie,
22
00:01:47,959 --> 00:01:49,579
my father has invited
23
00:01:49,667 --> 00:01:52,247
over 300 of his most
powerful friends to this event.
24
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:53,753
They're not all coming.
25
00:01:53,834 --> 00:01:55,254
The Clintons can't make it,
of course.
26
00:01:55,333 --> 00:01:56,543
But like I told Daddy,
27
00:01:56,625 --> 00:01:57,785
we'll be lucky
if we can swing this
28
00:01:57,875 --> 00:01:58,955
for under a mil.
29
00:01:59,041 --> 00:02:01,671
But what do I know?
I'm just a kid.
30
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,825
We'll never get 'N Sync.
31
00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:10,083
After meeting
her new client,
32
00:02:10,166 --> 00:02:12,076
Samantha met Charlotte,
Miranda, and me
33
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,496
for the latest trend
in Manhattan power lunching...
34
00:02:14,583 --> 00:02:16,583
haute cafeteria cuisine.
35
00:02:19,458 --> 00:02:21,128
You coming in
for a landing, sister?
36
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,708
Sorry. Cute guy.
37
00:02:24,041 --> 00:02:25,921
I thought he was checking me out
for a second.
38
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,210
-Where?
-Where?
39
00:02:27,542 --> 00:02:29,002
Hey, guys, stop, don't.
40
00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,423
-Ooh!
-Ooh!
41
00:02:30,709 --> 00:02:32,579
He's a cutie,
all right.
42
00:02:32,667 --> 00:02:34,537
And P.S., definitely looking.
43
00:02:34,625 --> 00:02:36,415
Looking at you guys
looking at him,
44
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:37,580
like I asked you not to.
45
00:02:37,667 --> 00:02:39,287
-Take your tray over there.
-What?
46
00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:41,535
-No.
-Absolutely! Why not?
47
00:02:41,625 --> 00:02:44,205
Because this isn't P.S. 147,
we're adults now.
48
00:02:44,291 --> 00:02:45,501
She's married, for Chrissake.
49
00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:46,883
We have to at least
pretend to know better.
50
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,420
So I finally went to the doctor
about my headaches...
51
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,750
-Still lookin'.
52
00:02:52,834 --> 00:02:54,754
...which you're
not helping, thanks,
53
00:02:54,834 --> 00:02:57,674
because I'd been trying
to diagnose myself
on the internet--
54
00:02:57,750 --> 00:02:58,960
-You can do that?
-Sure!
55
00:02:59,041 --> 00:03:01,041
You just type in
your symptoms, hit "enter,"
56
00:03:01,125 --> 00:03:03,495
and wait for the word "cancer"
to appear on the screen.
57
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:06,503
Anyway, turns out
I'm a tongue-thruster.
58
00:03:06,583 --> 00:03:09,883
Now, see, if you were a man,
that would be a good thing.
59
00:03:10,458 --> 00:03:12,668
My tongue pushes up
against my front teeth,
60
00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:13,790
so my bite is all off.
61
00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:15,285
My dentist thinks I have TMJ.
62
00:03:15,375 --> 00:03:16,995
C'mon, you have to do something.
63
00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:19,003
I am, I'm going to
the orthodontist tomorrow.
64
00:03:19,083 --> 00:03:21,083
No, I mean, he's really cute.
65
00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:22,326
She could write him a note.
66
00:03:22,417 --> 00:03:24,707
-A note, even cuter.
67
00:03:24,792 --> 00:03:27,332
You guys,
I'm not writing him a note.
68
00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:28,787
"Dear Mr. Cutie-cute..."
69
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,285
You did not just write that.
70
00:03:30,375 --> 00:03:31,825
Nope, just your phone number.
71
00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:33,997
I'm not giving him
my phone number.
72
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:37,003
Oh, relax, TMJ,
you don't have to.
73
00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:38,208
I'll do it for ya.
74
00:03:38,291 --> 00:03:40,331
Carrie...
Carrie!
75
00:03:40,417 --> 00:03:42,747
-Go, girl.
-Oh, my God.
76
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:46,749
Hi.
77
00:03:46,834 --> 00:03:47,964
I'm sorry to bother you,
78
00:03:48,041 --> 00:03:50,211
but my friend
Miranda over there...
79
00:03:50,291 --> 00:03:53,461
-Oh, my God.
-She thinks you're kinda cute.
80
00:03:54,875 --> 00:03:58,825
Please tell your friend
Miranda to call me.
81
00:04:04,125 --> 00:04:05,625
On the way home
from lunch,
82
00:04:05,709 --> 00:04:07,959
I decided to brave
the afternoon heat
83
00:04:08,041 --> 00:04:10,001
to see if my favorite
shoe repair guy
84
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,673
could do anything
about my tired old soles.
85
00:04:14,458 --> 00:04:15,748
But when I got there...
86
00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:18,174
there was no there there.
87
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:35,330
Hey. What, um...
What happened to Artie?
88
00:04:35,417 --> 00:04:36,497
Artie...?
89
00:04:36,583 --> 00:04:40,083
Artie, my guy, my shoe guy.
90
00:04:40,166 --> 00:04:41,916
He fixed these the last time.
91
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,130
Oh, yeah, Artie.
No, he moved back
to Williamsburg.
92
00:04:44,208 --> 00:04:46,378
-Oh.
Brooklyn, not Colonial.
93
00:04:46,458 --> 00:04:49,248
He, uh, couldn't afford
the place once they
destabilized the rent.
94
00:04:49,333 --> 00:04:52,043
And if the comic business
keeps going the way it is,
95
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,495
I'm not sure
I'll be able to either.
96
00:04:53,583 --> 00:04:55,463
Oh, comics
aren't selling, huh?
97
00:04:55,542 --> 00:04:57,252
No, especially mine.
98
00:05:00,709 --> 00:05:03,209
Power Lad by Wade Adams.
99
00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:06,205
Is this you?
Did you draw this?
100
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:08,250
Wow.
101
00:05:08,875 --> 00:05:11,495
So what's so powerful about him?
102
00:05:11,834 --> 00:05:12,834
He's a superhero.
103
00:05:12,917 --> 00:05:13,957
Or he wants to be.
104
00:05:14,041 --> 00:05:15,631
See, his parents
were superheroes,
105
00:05:15,709 --> 00:05:18,129
and he's trying to figure out
what his superpowers are.
106
00:05:18,208 --> 00:05:19,378
They haven't really
kicked in yet.
107
00:05:19,458 --> 00:05:21,578
And... it's stupid...
What do you do?
108
00:05:21,667 --> 00:05:23,167
Oh, I'm a writer.
109
00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:24,960
Really? That's cool.
What do you write?
110
00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:27,751
Turn to page seven
of your newspaper there.
111
00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:35,247
Oh, yes, see,
I thought you looked familiar.
112
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:36,877
You ever think about
writing comics?
113
00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:38,829
Aren't the comics
more of a boy thing?
114
00:05:38,917 --> 00:05:41,497
No way.
There's all kinds
of women superheroes...
115
00:05:41,583 --> 00:05:43,543
Batgirl, Supergirl,
Black Canary.
116
00:05:43,625 --> 00:05:45,495
I know you've heard
of Wonder Woman.
117
00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:49,583
Oh, with the bracelets
and the tiara.
118
00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:53,457
I used to love that even her
accessories had superpowers.
119
00:05:53,542 --> 00:05:55,042
Aw, man.
120
00:06:02,417 --> 00:06:03,537
What's wrong with them?
121
00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:06,165
No, see, to them,
you are Wonder Woman.
122
00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:10,080
-All right, stop,
I'll buy something.
-All right.
123
00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:18,627
I never did get my shoes fixed,
124
00:06:18,709 --> 00:06:21,919
but the following week,
I did get a new pair of boots.
125
00:06:24,458 --> 00:06:26,038
I don't know what came over me,
126
00:06:26,125 --> 00:06:28,785
but I suddenly felt compelled
to call and thank him.
127
00:06:28,875 --> 00:06:32,915
Even as a superhero,
I was powerless to resist.
128
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:36,880
That evening,
inspired by Miranda's
digital diagnosis,
129
00:06:36,959 --> 00:06:39,789
Charlotte went surfing
for a cure for Trey's condition.
130
00:06:42,417 --> 00:06:45,497
There it was,
in both the on
and off positions...
131
00:06:45,583 --> 00:06:47,713
$8,000 worth of hydraulics
132
00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:50,332
that could turn Trey
into the Bionic Man.
133
00:06:50,417 --> 00:06:53,707
Ordinarily, this was
the kind of thing Charlotte
would shy away from.
134
00:06:53,792 --> 00:06:57,462
But since her marriage
was shy of wood...
135
00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:00,672
That night, I met Wade Adams,
alias "Power Lad,"
136
00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:01,750
at Bar Code,
137
00:07:01,834 --> 00:07:02,754
a Times Square bar
138
00:07:02,834 --> 00:07:04,424
that specialized in real drinks
139
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,040
and virtual reality.
140
00:07:06,125 --> 00:07:07,415
I can't believe this place.
141
00:07:07,500 --> 00:07:08,830
It's like ten bucks a game.
142
00:07:08,917 --> 00:07:10,917
Yeah, but the games
come with beer.
143
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,460
Yeah, that's 'cause they want
you to play half as well
and twice as much.
144
00:07:14,542 --> 00:07:15,632
Sounds good to me.
145
00:07:15,875 --> 00:07:19,035
What'll it be, a little
Bloodburst or Terrafrag 2?
146
00:07:19,125 --> 00:07:21,625
What ever happened
to Frogger and Ms. Pac-Man?
147
00:07:21,709 --> 00:07:22,999
She got married.
148
00:07:23,250 --> 00:07:24,250
No!
149
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:25,503
To Pac-Man?
150
00:07:25,583 --> 00:07:27,333
Oh, good for them.
151
00:07:27,542 --> 00:07:29,132
Man, where have I been?
152
00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:31,418
I don't know,
but you wanna go to Mars?
153
00:07:31,500 --> 00:07:33,420
For ten bucks?
It's a bargain.
154
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:34,880
Let's go! After you.
155
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:36,919
Then, without ever
leaving the building,
156
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,420
Power Lad took me
to the furthest reaches
of the galaxy,
157
00:07:40,500 --> 00:07:42,380
and right back to seventh grade.
158
00:07:42,458 --> 00:07:44,788
You're about to
journey to Mars.
Pilot, please select...
159
00:07:44,875 --> 00:07:46,165
There we go.
160
00:07:47,542 --> 00:07:49,252
It was maddening.
161
00:07:49,625 --> 00:07:52,785
Bram and Pippem
favored the '78 Lafite,
162
00:07:52,875 --> 00:07:54,205
which was entirely acceptable.
163
00:07:54,291 --> 00:07:56,251
The implant's
patented on-off switch
164
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:58,253
had Charlotte
thinking about Trey's.
165
00:07:58,333 --> 00:08:00,543
She desperately wanted
to turn his on,
166
00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:01,995
but she didn't know
where to find it.
167
00:08:02,083 --> 00:08:03,753
But, at the end
of the night, joke was on him,
168
00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:05,254
'cause we ordered both.
169
00:08:07,333 --> 00:08:08,713
How was your day?
170
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:12,497
Well, I went to the gallery
in the morning,
171
00:08:12,583 --> 00:08:15,923
and then the framer's
in the afternoon...
172
00:08:16,792 --> 00:08:19,962
And then, I found this
on the internet.
173
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,041
See?
174
00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:26,576
What on earth--?
175
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,040
Charlotte, what,
what are you getting at?
176
00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:33,075
Well, just that... well...
177
00:08:34,083 --> 00:08:35,883
We've tried
everything else, and...
178
00:08:35,959 --> 00:08:39,579
We still--
you haven't--
179
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:42,631
in my-- ever, so...
180
00:08:43,291 --> 00:08:44,711
so, I just thought...
181
00:08:47,792 --> 00:08:49,132
You can't be serious.
182
00:08:50,166 --> 00:08:52,376
What other options do we have?
183
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,331
Five beers,
four video games,
184
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:06,077
102 degrees outside later...
185
00:09:08,583 --> 00:09:10,003
Oh, man.
186
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,580
Uh, you gotta be kidding.
187
00:09:13,667 --> 00:09:14,667
What?
188
00:09:14,917 --> 00:09:16,327
-This is fun.
189
00:09:16,417 --> 00:09:18,167
It's cheaper than taking cabs.
190
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,248
Besides, all the kids got 'em.
191
00:09:21,208 --> 00:09:22,378
Wanna try it?
192
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:23,708
It's too hot to scoot.
193
00:09:23,959 --> 00:09:25,039
We could go to my place.
194
00:09:25,125 --> 00:09:27,625
I got a terrace,
I got a great view.
195
00:09:27,709 --> 00:09:29,579
And the breeze up there
is even better.
196
00:09:29,875 --> 00:09:32,205
I'm not the kinda girl
who scoots to a guy's terrace
197
00:09:32,291 --> 00:09:33,291
on the first date.
198
00:09:34,959 --> 00:09:36,459
I could respect that.
199
00:09:37,125 --> 00:09:38,535
I have central air.
200
00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:39,712
Gimme that scooter.
201
00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:40,882
You ever been on one?
202
00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:42,169
No.
203
00:09:42,375 --> 00:09:43,285
That's great!
204
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:44,535
Thank you.
205
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,500
Ahh! I'm scooting in heels.
206
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,380
Neato!
207
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,420
You said you had a view,
not the view.
208
00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:05,750
And this breeze?
209
00:10:05,834 --> 00:10:08,714
It's like there's
even different air up here.
210
00:10:08,917 --> 00:10:10,457
How do you have all this?
211
00:10:10,542 --> 00:10:12,332
Why don't I go
get us some beers,
212
00:10:12,417 --> 00:10:14,997
then we can talk
adventures in real estate.
213
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,210
How was it possible
that mild-mannered Power Lad
214
00:10:20,291 --> 00:10:22,631
could afford a classic six
on the upper east side
215
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,249
with a terrace
and a view of the park?
216
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,963
Was he merely Power Lad by dy
217
00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:29,541
and secretly
a millionaire playboy by night?
218
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:31,955
Hmm.
219
00:10:32,041 --> 00:10:33,331
Hello?
-Whoa!
220
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:35,415
Oh, you scared me!
221
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,460
I just heard voices outside,
and I--
222
00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:39,792
-You're up.
-Oh!
223
00:10:39,875 --> 00:10:40,785
Did we wake you?
224
00:10:40,875 --> 00:10:42,705
Oh, no, no, you know me,
225
00:10:42,792 --> 00:10:44,422
always keeping the watch.
226
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:46,500
Uh, did you meet Carrie?
227
00:10:46,583 --> 00:10:48,883
Carrie, I'd like you
to meet my mother.
228
00:10:49,500 --> 00:10:50,670
Hello.
229
00:10:51,125 --> 00:10:53,245
It's a beautiful night,
isn't it?
230
00:10:53,333 --> 00:10:54,543
Yeah.
231
00:10:55,041 --> 00:10:57,711
Well,
I'm off to bed.
232
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,875
You two have fun.
233
00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:04,002
-Don't stay up too late, dear.
-No.
234
00:11:04,709 --> 00:11:05,789
-Goodnight.
-'Night.
235
00:11:05,875 --> 00:11:07,455
It's lovely to meet you, Carrie.
236
00:11:07,542 --> 00:11:09,922
Oh, lovely to meet you, too...
237
00:11:10,291 --> 00:11:11,711
Mrs. Adams.
238
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,535
He lives with his parents?
239
00:11:17,917 --> 00:11:19,127
It's their apartment.
240
00:11:19,208 --> 00:11:20,128
The next day at Commune,
241
00:11:20,208 --> 00:11:22,208
daddy Brier's latest restaurant,
242
00:11:22,291 --> 00:11:24,831
I asked Samantha about my
prospects with Power Lad.
243
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:26,247
Not sexy, honey.
244
00:11:26,333 --> 00:11:28,633
Dump him, immediately.
Here, use my cell phone.
245
00:11:28,709 --> 00:11:31,749
But it's only because
he put all his money
in the comic book store...
246
00:11:31,834 --> 00:11:33,084
So not sexy, what's his number?
247
00:11:33,166 --> 00:11:35,496
...because he's saving up
for his own place.
248
00:11:35,583 --> 00:11:37,173
C'mon, you know how tough
the market is right now.
249
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:40,250
Plus which, he's fun and funny.
250
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,173
Honey, stop while
you're still sexy.
251
00:11:42,250 --> 00:11:44,790
So are you saying there's no way
you'd go out with a guy
252
00:11:44,875 --> 00:11:46,125
who lived with his family?
253
00:11:46,208 --> 00:11:48,538
Well, maybe Prince William.
254
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,792
I'm sorry I'm late.
255
00:11:53,667 --> 00:11:56,167
This is what happens
to tongue-thrusters.
256
00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:58,210
I have to wear them for a year.
257
00:11:58,291 --> 00:11:59,421
Am I hideous?
258
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:00,920
No.
259
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,170
Hey, no!
260
00:12:02,542 --> 00:12:04,542
No, they don't look so bad.
261
00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:05,955
Really? You mean it?
262
00:12:06,041 --> 00:12:07,541
That's my story
and I'm sticking to it.
263
00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:10,625
Are you in pain?
I'm in pain just looking at you.
264
00:12:10,709 --> 00:12:12,749
I'm a 34-year-old woman
with braces
265
00:12:12,834 --> 00:12:14,384
and I'm on a liquid diet.
266
00:12:14,458 --> 00:12:16,498
Pain doesn't begin to cover it.
267
00:12:17,125 --> 00:12:18,825
Oh, look, lunch!
268
00:12:18,917 --> 00:12:19,827
We didn't order champagne.
269
00:12:19,917 --> 00:12:21,417
Compliments of Jenny Brier.
270
00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:23,670
Oh, you always get
the nicest compliments.
271
00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:26,420
Do you realize
a 13-year-old girl
272
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:29,040
just bought us a $200 bottle
of Dom Perignon?
273
00:12:29,291 --> 00:12:31,131
You know what
I was buying when I was 13?
274
00:12:31,208 --> 00:12:33,418
Nothing,
I couldn't afford anything.
275
00:12:33,500 --> 00:12:35,920
I was serving dilly bars
at Dairy Queen.
276
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:39,500
Where is she?
Where's that little
"brat mitzvah" beast?
277
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:41,830
Jenny!
278
00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:43,287
So, ladies,
is everything fabulous?
279
00:12:43,375 --> 00:12:45,745
It is now,
I didn't know you were here.
280
00:12:45,834 --> 00:12:47,714
And I didn't know you knew
Carrie Bradshaw.
281
00:12:47,792 --> 00:12:50,172
You are fucking fabulous.
282
00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:52,290
Your column about secret sex?
283
00:12:52,375 --> 00:12:54,665
Hello, my life!
Seriously.
284
00:12:54,750 --> 00:12:56,710
My ex was so
completely about the sex
285
00:12:56,792 --> 00:12:57,712
when we were alone,
286
00:12:57,792 --> 00:12:58,922
but at school, in the hallway?
287
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,000
I didn't exist.
288
00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:01,831
And they're all like that.
289
00:13:01,917 --> 00:13:02,917
Or worse, men suck.
290
00:13:06,917 --> 00:13:07,877
What?
291
00:13:08,291 --> 00:13:10,421
I'm sorry, are your braces blue?
292
00:13:10,500 --> 00:13:12,500
No, they're sapphire.
293
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,082
Oh, my God, look,
294
00:13:14,166 --> 00:13:16,126
you have the old-fashioned kind.
295
00:13:16,208 --> 00:13:17,958
I didn't even know
they made those anymore.
296
00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:20,001
I said I'll be there.
We have to dash.
297
00:13:20,083 --> 00:13:21,543
Enjoy your meal, ladies.
298
00:13:21,625 --> 00:13:23,995
You are so fucking fabulous.
299
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:29,830
Her braces are sapphire.
300
00:13:29,917 --> 00:13:32,167
I'm a 34-year-old nerd.
301
00:13:32,875 --> 00:13:35,455
How old are they?
302
00:13:35,542 --> 00:13:36,712
Thirteen.
303
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:39,083
-But they sound--
-I know.
304
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:42,536
-And they're dressed--
-I know, just like us.
305
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:46,751
Were Jenny Brier
and her friends
306
00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:48,964
dressed like thirty-something
year-old women?
307
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:51,961
Or were we trying
to look like teenagers?
308
00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:53,631
One of us was sending over
Dom Perignon,
309
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,669
while another was tooling around
New York on a scooter.
310
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:59,380
When you're a teenager,
all you want to do is buy beer.
311
00:13:59,458 --> 00:14:00,668
But once you hit 30,
312
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:02,830
all you want to do
is get carded.
313
00:14:02,917 --> 00:14:05,667
I wondered, in today's
youth-obsessed culture,
314
00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:07,040
are the women of my generation
315
00:14:07,125 --> 00:14:10,165
growing into mature,
responsible adults?
316
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:14,670
Or are we 34 going on 13?
317
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:17,250
After a week
of self-imposed seclusion,
318
00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:18,963
Miranda finally felt
strong enough
319
00:14:19,041 --> 00:14:20,581
for solid food and table service
320
00:14:20,667 --> 00:14:23,287
with Lance Bloom,
a senior editor at Knopf.
321
00:14:23,375 --> 00:14:24,955
I started out wanting
to be a writer,
322
00:14:25,041 --> 00:14:27,251
but it's such a solitary life.
323
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:30,423
I'm much more interested
in collaborating with someone.
324
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:32,460
What are you working on now?
325
00:14:33,792 --> 00:14:36,542
Uh... you have a little...
326
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:37,955
Oh!
327
00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:41,461
I just got these.
I guess they're gonna
take some getting used to.
328
00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:43,628
Oh, my God.
329
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:49,830
So, what's it like
to kiss somebody
with those things?
330
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:52,500
The doctor said
it should be fine.
331
00:14:53,750 --> 00:14:56,080
But a blow job's out
of the question, right?
332
00:14:58,667 --> 00:15:00,917
Oh, I was kidding.
333
00:15:01,792 --> 00:15:05,002
That was a joke, I'm sorry.
334
00:15:06,083 --> 00:15:07,633
He just didn't
want your hardware
335
00:15:07,709 --> 00:15:09,379
getting too close
to his software.
336
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:10,958
It's not just him,
it's everybody.
337
00:15:11,041 --> 00:15:13,791
I can't open my mouth
without the whole world
338
00:15:13,875 --> 00:15:15,575
looking at me like I'm a freak.
339
00:15:15,792 --> 00:15:17,382
It's like I'm suddenly back
in junior high.
340
00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:19,998
And, believe me, I was lucky
to get out alive the first time.
341
00:15:20,083 --> 00:15:22,503
Maybe you should think of it
as mouth jewelry.
342
00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:23,633
You know, tooth bracelets.
343
00:15:23,709 --> 00:15:25,039
I'm never dating again.
344
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,075
Oh, of course you are,
and, listen,
345
00:15:26,166 --> 00:15:27,286
if the guy's worth dating
346
00:15:27,375 --> 00:15:28,665
he's not gonna care
about your braces,
347
00:15:28,750 --> 00:15:29,960
he's gonna care about you.
348
00:15:30,041 --> 00:15:32,131
That was so
"after-school special" of you.
349
00:15:32,208 --> 00:15:33,668
No,
in the "after-school special,"
350
00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,710
you'd see him
across the cafeteria,
351
00:15:35,792 --> 00:15:39,002
he'd smile,
and he'd have braces, too.
352
00:15:39,083 --> 00:15:41,043
Yeah, but the sick thing is,
353
00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:44,211
I would never date a guy
with braces, even now.
354
00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:45,461
Come on, are you kidding me?
355
00:15:45,542 --> 00:15:47,172
Don't you think
that's a little childish?
356
00:15:47,542 --> 00:15:49,422
More lemonade, Carrie?
357
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:50,920
Yes, please, Mrs. Adams.
358
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:54,960
And how about some nice
homemade Toll House cookies?
359
00:15:55,041 --> 00:15:57,001
Yes, please, Mrs. Adams!
360
00:15:57,083 --> 00:15:58,883
On closer inspection,
361
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:02,289
it turned out this
living-with-the-parents thing
wasn't so bad.
362
00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:04,955
It was like having servants
you didn't have to pay.
363
00:16:05,709 --> 00:16:08,669
Oh, and Carrie,
can you stay for dinner?
364
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:09,710
Uh-huh!
365
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:13,129
Faced with the idea
366
00:16:13,208 --> 00:16:16,748
of having hydraulic cylinders
placed in his shaft,
367
00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:18,044
Trey decided to pursue
368
00:16:18,125 --> 00:16:20,075
the less physically
demanding option
369
00:16:20,166 --> 00:16:21,286
of couple's counseling
370
00:16:21,375 --> 00:16:22,665
with a therapist he'd found
371
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,420
through his college
alumni association.
372
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:26,960
I sense you're both
having difficulty
373
00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:30,075
verbalizing your sexual issues.
374
00:16:31,792 --> 00:16:33,542
With some clients,
375
00:16:34,125 --> 00:16:35,285
I've found it often helps
376
00:16:35,375 --> 00:16:38,535
to create your own
non-threatening language
377
00:16:38,625 --> 00:16:40,665
with which to talk about sex.
378
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:44,673
-I'm not sure that I understand.
-Well, for example,
379
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:49,040
one client rather
whimsically dubbed his anus,
380
00:16:49,125 --> 00:16:52,125
"the chocolate starfish."
381
00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:54,038
Are you quite sure
you went to Yale?
382
00:16:54,458 --> 00:17:00,078
Charlotte, if you
could rename your vagina
383
00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:01,666
something completely non-sexual,
384
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:05,710
something that didn't feel
threatening to yourself or Trey,
385
00:17:06,458 --> 00:17:07,748
what would you call it?
386
00:17:11,083 --> 00:17:12,213
"Rebecca."
387
00:17:13,083 --> 00:17:15,133
"Rebecca"?
Why on earth would you--?
388
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:18,788
'Cause it sounds nice,
and I've always liked the name.
389
00:17:19,417 --> 00:17:20,957
Now, you name yours.
390
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,540
Oh, this is preposterous.
391
00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:26,495
Something with
positive associations.
392
00:17:29,041 --> 00:17:31,381
Well, Trey loves to sail.
393
00:17:31,458 --> 00:17:32,498
Don't you, Trey?
394
00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:34,673
Yeah, that's true,
I do love to sail.
395
00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:38,670
So how 'bout something
like "canoe"?
396
00:17:38,750 --> 00:17:40,130
"Canoe"?
397
00:17:41,709 --> 00:17:43,829
Canoe doesn't go with Rebecca.
398
00:17:44,125 --> 00:17:45,495
Well, what then?
399
00:17:46,542 --> 00:17:48,832
Uh, well, how about, um...
400
00:17:50,291 --> 00:17:51,331
"Schooner"?
401
00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:53,210
Schooner's good!
402
00:17:53,291 --> 00:17:55,751
Rebecca and Schooner.
Schooner's good, isn't it?
403
00:17:55,834 --> 00:17:58,674
That's very good,
it's very good.
404
00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:01,880
This is a wonderful beginning.
405
00:18:01,959 --> 00:18:03,829
There's still
a lot of work ahead,
406
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,457
some here and some at home.
407
00:18:06,542 --> 00:18:09,422
So, tonight, as homework,
408
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:12,040
I want you to lie down together,
409
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:14,285
side by side, without touching,
410
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:18,670
and share a sexual fantasy.
411
00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:23,170
I'm a fairy princess
in a forest.
412
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,667
And I'm riding on a unicorn,
413
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,250
when suddenly I see you,
414
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:31,463
a pirate in buckskins.
415
00:18:32,166 --> 00:18:34,206
A prince in disguise.
416
00:18:34,291 --> 00:18:36,751
And that's when
you pull me off my unicorn,
417
00:18:36,834 --> 00:18:39,544
you tear away
my gossamer petticoats,
418
00:18:39,792 --> 00:18:44,292
and you put your Schooner
deep inside my Rebecca.
419
00:18:47,291 --> 00:18:48,381
Now, you.
420
00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:49,920
Where are you?
421
00:18:51,083 --> 00:18:52,253
I'm in hell.
422
00:18:52,875 --> 00:18:57,125
Ugh, I'm sorry, Charlotte,
I can't do this.
423
00:18:57,583 --> 00:19:00,293
I'm a respected surgeon,
I can't, I can't.
424
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:01,955
Yes, you can, I know you can.
425
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,881
Charlotte, we've been dealing
with this for weeks and weeks.
426
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:05,459
Just accept the fact
427
00:19:05,542 --> 00:19:07,832
that I'm not that
sexual a person, all right?
428
00:19:07,917 --> 00:19:11,077
But... we love each other.
429
00:19:11,166 --> 00:19:14,576
And... we're married now.
430
00:19:15,291 --> 00:19:17,291
Rebecca and Schooner
belong together.
431
00:19:17,375 --> 00:19:19,785
They need each other, please.
432
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:22,206
You are a fairy princess.
433
00:19:22,709 --> 00:19:25,539
I don't deserve you, I'm sorry.
434
00:19:26,875 --> 00:19:28,035
I'm sorry.
435
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:41,170
That night, Wade and I
had our very first sleepover
436
00:19:41,250 --> 00:19:42,290
at my place...
437
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:43,325
And I finally figured out
438
00:19:43,417 --> 00:19:45,417
what made Power Lad so powerful.
439
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,420
He had the soul of a teenage
boy
440
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,170
in the body
of a very grown-up man.
441
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:51,170
-Oh, the machine'll get it.
442
00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:53,000
Hi, I'm not here,
but my shoes are,
443
00:19:53,083 --> 00:19:54,673
-so leave 'em a message.
444
00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:56,630
Hi, Carrie?
445
00:19:56,709 --> 00:20:00,669
This is Mrs. Adams,
Wade's mother?
446
00:20:00,750 --> 00:20:01,880
How are you, dear?
447
00:20:01,959 --> 00:20:03,169
Oh, my God.
448
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:04,630
I'm so sorry
to bother you,
449
00:20:04,709 --> 00:20:07,289
but we never heard
from Wade tonight
450
00:20:07,375 --> 00:20:10,785
about whether or not
he fed the dog his medicine.
451
00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:14,745
And Wade's father was just about
to give it to the dog,
452
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:19,714
but if he's already had
it-- well, that would be bad.
453
00:20:19,792 --> 00:20:22,082
So if you speak to Wade,
454
00:20:22,166 --> 00:20:26,576
please tell him I won't
go to bed until I hear from--
455
00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:30,003
Yes, Mom,
I gave the dog his medicine.
456
00:20:31,291 --> 00:20:33,631
No, mom, I'm not mad,
I just--
457
00:20:34,083 --> 00:20:36,293
I told you not to call me here.
458
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:39,577
Mom, don't call me here.
459
00:20:41,500 --> 00:20:42,630
I love you, too.
460
00:20:46,542 --> 00:20:47,962
She wants to talk to you.
461
00:20:48,375 --> 00:20:49,205
What?
462
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:51,581
No. No way!
463
00:20:58,208 --> 00:21:00,208
Hi, Mrs. Adams, how are you?
464
00:21:01,291 --> 00:21:02,791
Several blocks south,
465
00:21:02,875 --> 00:21:05,415
Charlotte's night
was interrupted, as well,
466
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:08,170
by odd noises
coming from her bathroom.
467
00:21:20,417 --> 00:21:21,747
Charlotte felt terrible.
468
00:21:21,834 --> 00:21:23,634
She hadn't meant
to make Trey cry.
469
00:21:31,709 --> 00:21:33,209
Honey?
470
00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:59,253
He told me he wasn't
a sexual person.
471
00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:01,923
It wasn't sexual,
it was tension release.
472
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,290
It helps me sleep.
473
00:22:03,375 --> 00:22:04,665
I understand.
474
00:22:04,750 --> 00:22:08,420
Now, this may be
difficult, Trey,
475
00:22:08,500 --> 00:22:10,710
but I want you
to tell me specifically
476
00:22:10,792 --> 00:22:15,042
which magazine you were...
using.
477
00:22:15,875 --> 00:22:17,035
- Juggs .
- Juggs .
478
00:22:17,875 --> 00:22:18,995
All right.
479
00:22:19,083 --> 00:22:21,003
Now, I think we can try
480
00:22:21,083 --> 00:22:23,043
and see this
as a positive thing.
481
00:22:23,125 --> 00:22:23,995
How?
482
00:22:24,083 --> 00:22:26,043
How is this a positive thing?
483
00:22:26,125 --> 00:22:31,245
Well, Trey was masturbating
to Juggs .
484
00:22:31,667 --> 00:22:33,167
At least we know he isn't gay.
485
00:22:33,250 --> 00:22:36,750
Excuse me, what exactly
is the problem here?
486
00:22:36,834 --> 00:22:38,424
It was tension release
with a magazine.
487
00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:40,960
It had nothing whatsoever
to do with my wife.
488
00:22:41,041 --> 00:22:44,081
Interesting choice
of words, Trey.
489
00:22:44,166 --> 00:22:46,326
Maybe that's the problem.
490
00:22:47,083 --> 00:22:50,883
We have to find a way
to integrate your wife
491
00:22:51,166 --> 00:22:53,456
into your sexual routine.
492
00:22:55,542 --> 00:22:57,962
How are we supposed to do that?
493
00:22:58,041 --> 00:23:00,211
Charlotte had no idea.
494
00:23:00,291 --> 00:23:01,961
She wished they were 13 again,
495
00:23:02,041 --> 00:23:05,041
before sex had made everything
so complicated.
496
00:23:05,125 --> 00:23:07,245
When just holding hands
and a goodnight kiss
497
00:23:07,333 --> 00:23:09,463
would have been
everything she needed.
498
00:23:10,500 --> 00:23:12,040
To pierce
the corporate veil,
499
00:23:12,125 --> 00:23:14,375
the courts generally look
at five factors.
500
00:23:14,458 --> 00:23:17,328
Whether the subsidiary
is wholly owned or--
501
00:23:19,458 --> 00:23:22,878
The 13-year-old girl
inside Miranda wanted
to disappear,
502
00:23:22,959 --> 00:23:25,579
but the 34-year-old woman who
was a partner in this law firm
503
00:23:25,667 --> 00:23:27,627
decided she wasn't
going anywhere.
504
00:23:27,917 --> 00:23:29,457
You think that I'm funny,
gentlemen?
505
00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:32,582
You think the fact that
I have braces is hilarious?
506
00:23:32,667 --> 00:23:34,207
Well, let's just
all take a moment
507
00:23:34,291 --> 00:23:35,711
and have a good laugh, shall we?
508
00:23:35,792 --> 00:23:37,542
Let's just
get it out of our systems,
509
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:39,575
so we can go back to work
like adults.
510
00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:43,040
Hobbes, we were just laughing
at the typo on page three.
511
00:23:45,667 --> 00:23:47,747
Miranda decided
that TMJ
512
00:23:47,834 --> 00:23:51,214
was a lot less painful
than a second adolescence.
513
00:23:51,291 --> 00:23:53,081
The next day,
she had her braces removed
514
00:23:53,166 --> 00:23:56,826
and resumed her life as
a 34-year-old tongue thruster.
515
00:23:56,917 --> 00:24:00,037
That night, Trey resumed
his own brand of thrusting
516
00:24:00,125 --> 00:24:01,665
and discovered
that tension release
517
00:24:01,750 --> 00:24:02,960
could be a turn-on.
518
00:24:12,750 --> 00:24:14,670
And Charlotte discovered a way
519
00:24:14,750 --> 00:24:17,170
to include herself
in Trey's sex life.
520
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:22,750
She also figured out what to do
with all those wedding proofs
521
00:24:22,834 --> 00:24:24,214
not suitable for framing.
522
00:24:26,208 --> 00:24:28,958
The following weekend, at
the Brier bat mitzvah party...
523
00:24:29,208 --> 00:24:31,418
I'm not sure if
I have your name, let's see...
524
00:24:31,500 --> 00:24:34,330
"Goldfarb, Goldman, Goldstein."
525
00:24:34,417 --> 00:24:36,327
I'm sorry, ladies,
I just don't see it.
526
00:24:36,417 --> 00:24:37,577
I'm sure I'm on the list.
527
00:24:44,208 --> 00:24:47,918
Jenny, I loved your
haftarah portion!
528
00:24:51,709 --> 00:24:55,039
I can't believe
you still have actual albums.
529
00:24:56,375 --> 00:24:58,995
Oh, my God, Styx!
530
00:24:59,083 --> 00:25:00,753
I loved Styx!
531
00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:02,579
I had this album.
532
00:25:02,792 --> 00:25:05,292
Yeah, I loved "Renegade,"
hated "Babe."
533
00:25:07,750 --> 00:25:09,880
How do you have this?
534
00:25:09,959 --> 00:25:11,789
What, are you kidding?
This is a classic.
535
00:25:11,875 --> 00:25:15,285
Oh, this song is so me driving
my parents' Oldsmobile
536
00:25:15,375 --> 00:25:16,995
without them knowing about it.
537
00:25:17,083 --> 00:25:18,463
You know what would go great
with this song?
538
00:25:18,542 --> 00:25:19,832
A tube top and roller skates?
539
00:25:19,917 --> 00:25:21,037
No...
540
00:25:22,375 --> 00:25:23,825
Canadian supergrass.
541
00:25:23,917 --> 00:25:26,917
Six times stronger than pot
and 400 bucks an ounce.
542
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,500
It suddenly
became obvious
543
00:25:28,583 --> 00:25:31,463
Wade was in no hurry to save up
for his own apartment.
544
00:25:32,750 --> 00:25:34,710
And what pray-tell is that?
545
00:25:34,792 --> 00:25:36,002
-My bong.
546
00:25:36,083 --> 00:25:38,503
I made it... at Camp Tikkatoki.
547
00:25:38,583 --> 00:25:41,333
I'm sorry,
Camp Take-a-toke-ee?
548
00:25:44,625 --> 00:25:46,455
I hadn't smoked pot
out of a homemade bong
549
00:25:46,542 --> 00:25:49,292
since my 8th grade boyfriend
made one out of tin foil,
a Bic pen,
550
00:25:49,375 --> 00:25:52,375
and a 2-liter bottle
of his mother's
lemony Pepsi light.
551
00:25:52,458 --> 00:25:54,458
I didn't even know
if I'd remember how.
552
00:25:56,542 --> 00:25:58,462
Turns out
it was like riding a bike...
553
00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:00,498
A 10-speed.
554
00:26:00,583 --> 00:26:02,383
Oh, wow.
555
00:26:02,458 --> 00:26:04,038
Back at the bat mitzvah bash,
556
00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:07,285
Samantha heard some girl talk
not suitable for little ladies.
557
00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:08,535
I'm gonna totally fuck
558
00:26:08,625 --> 00:26:09,915
at least three of those five
'N Sync guys
559
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,330
after the after-party.
560
00:26:11,542 --> 00:26:12,922
And I heard
the other two are gay.
561
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,710
So? I'd fuck them.
562
00:26:14,792 --> 00:26:16,962
I'd fuck them
and their gay boyfriends.
563
00:26:17,417 --> 00:26:20,827
Ladies, aren't you a little
young for that kind of talk?
564
00:26:21,959 --> 00:26:23,249
I'm serious.
565
00:26:23,333 --> 00:26:25,543
You have your whole lives
to talk that way.
566
00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:27,325
You should enjoy being children.
567
00:26:27,667 --> 00:26:31,417
At least until you turn 15
and start having sex.
568
00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:34,130
Please, I've been giving
blow jobs since I'm 12.
569
00:26:34,792 --> 00:26:35,582
Really?
570
00:26:35,667 --> 00:26:36,457
It's the only way
571
00:26:36,542 --> 00:26:37,672
to get guys to like you.
572
00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:39,330
Oh, honey, that isn't true.
573
00:26:39,417 --> 00:26:41,707
Um, talk to the hand, Grandma.
574
00:26:41,792 --> 00:26:44,922
Samantha had been
resenting Jenny Brier
all this time
575
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:46,630
because of everything she had.
576
00:26:46,709 --> 00:26:48,329
But then Samantha realized,
577
00:26:48,417 --> 00:26:51,497
she'd had something that
no amount of money could buy...
578
00:26:51,583 --> 00:26:52,963
A childhood.
579
00:26:53,041 --> 00:26:56,331
And suddenly the Dairy Queen
wasn't looking so bad.
580
00:27:04,667 --> 00:27:05,787
I'm thirsty.
581
00:27:06,917 --> 00:27:08,627
There's bong water.
582
00:27:09,041 --> 00:27:11,711
-Bong water!
583
00:27:20,834 --> 00:27:22,044
Whoa.
584
00:27:23,333 --> 00:27:25,253
Bong water.
585
00:27:29,041 --> 00:27:30,251
Hold this?
586
00:27:37,458 --> 00:27:38,998
Hey!
What are you doing?
587
00:27:40,041 --> 00:27:41,041
That's wet!
588
00:27:47,709 --> 00:27:50,879
Attack of the
spicy chicken wings!
589
00:27:53,041 --> 00:27:54,331
Oh, shit!
590
00:27:57,208 --> 00:27:59,288
That looks like my parents' car.
591
00:28:01,750 --> 00:28:03,040
Oh, shit.
592
00:28:05,792 --> 00:28:08,212
-Oh, shit! Oh, God...
-Shit, shit, shit!
593
00:28:08,291 --> 00:28:10,001
-It's okay, it's okay!
-No. It's not okay!
594
00:28:10,083 --> 00:28:12,793
My parents said
if they caught me smoking pot
in the house again,
595
00:28:12,875 --> 00:28:15,035
I'd have to sleep on a cot
in the comic book store!
596
00:28:15,125 --> 00:28:16,165
-Wait, Wade!
-What?
597
00:28:16,250 --> 00:28:17,500
-What!
-The chicken wings!
598
00:28:17,583 --> 00:28:19,503
If they see billions
of chicken wings...
599
00:28:19,583 --> 00:28:22,543
they're gonna know...
600
00:28:24,208 --> 00:28:26,918
we were smoking the pot!
601
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,750
Fuck the fucking
chicken wings, man!
602
00:28:28,834 --> 00:28:30,384
Where'd we put the fucking pot?
603
00:28:33,166 --> 00:28:34,536
Wade?
604
00:28:34,625 --> 00:28:36,075
You're home...
605
00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:37,880
early.
606
00:28:37,959 --> 00:28:39,329
Hi.
607
00:28:41,041 --> 00:28:43,501
Is that marijuana I smell?
608
00:28:44,542 --> 00:28:46,752
-No. No, ma'am.
-No. No, God, no.
609
00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:51,080
Then what is this?
610
00:28:54,083 --> 00:28:55,463
Your father and I told you,
611
00:28:55,542 --> 00:28:58,632
if you ever brought marijuana
into this house again--
612
00:28:58,709 --> 00:29:00,379
Carrie brought it.
613
00:29:00,458 --> 00:29:01,998
I couldn't believe it.
614
00:29:02,083 --> 00:29:03,923
Power Lad would never have
ratted me out like that.
615
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,130
Is that true,
Carrie?
616
00:29:06,625 --> 00:29:09,035
Did you bring marijuana
into this house?
617
00:29:09,125 --> 00:29:11,075
There comes a time
in everyone's life
618
00:29:11,166 --> 00:29:13,666
when you have to take
responsibility for yourself.
619
00:29:13,750 --> 00:29:16,420
A time when I, like Jenny Brier,
620
00:29:16,500 --> 00:29:18,830
had to stand up
and say to the world,
621
00:29:18,917 --> 00:29:20,957
"Today, I am a woman."
622
00:29:21,041 --> 00:29:22,791
Yes, Mrs. Adams.
623
00:29:23,375 --> 00:29:26,375
I brought the marijuana
into the house...
624
00:29:27,917 --> 00:29:30,287
and I'm taking it
with me when I go.
625
00:29:37,500 --> 00:29:39,000
Oh, baby!
626
00:29:40,458 --> 00:29:42,208
♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da ♪
627
00:29:42,667 --> 00:29:43,707
There she is!
628
00:29:43,792 --> 00:29:45,252
In the end, I decided
629
00:29:45,333 --> 00:29:48,253
I was definitely 34 going on 35,
630
00:29:48,333 --> 00:29:51,463
but in a city like New York
with its pace and its pressures,
631
00:29:51,542 --> 00:29:54,502
sometimes it's important
to have a 13-year-old moment,
632
00:29:54,583 --> 00:29:56,833
to remember a simpler time
when the best thing in life
633
00:29:56,917 --> 00:29:59,627
was just hanging out,
listening to records,
634
00:29:59,709 --> 00:30:01,629
and having fun
with your friends...
635
00:30:01,709 --> 00:30:04,079
in your very own apartment.