1 00:01:07,375 --> 00:01:10,125 [rooster crows] 2 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,376 What? 3 00:01:20,625 --> 00:01:23,125 [crowing continues] 4 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:31,579 In life, there are all sorts of wake-up calls... 5 00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:34,577 but crowing on East 73rd Street 6 00:01:34,667 --> 00:01:37,037 was one I was not prepared for. 7 00:01:37,125 --> 00:01:40,325 [crowing continues] 8 00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:45,957 It was my own fault, really. 9 00:01:46,041 --> 00:01:48,751 I let my frenzy for a rent-controlled apartment near Barney's 10 00:01:48,834 --> 00:01:52,504 override the fact that it was "animal hospital adjacent." 11 00:01:54,709 --> 00:01:56,169 That's the thing about New York... 12 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:59,130 you never know what's just around the corner. 13 00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:01,291 [groans] 14 00:02:01,375 --> 00:02:02,995 Or in Samantha's case... 15 00:02:03,083 --> 00:02:04,463 just outside your window. 16 00:02:04,542 --> 00:02:07,382 [loud chattering] 17 00:02:10,458 --> 00:02:11,748 [groans] 18 00:02:14,959 --> 00:02:16,209 [honking] 19 00:02:23,375 --> 00:02:24,375 There they were... 20 00:02:24,458 --> 00:02:26,128 Samantha's friendly neighborhood 21 00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:28,128 pre-op transsexual hookers. 22 00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:31,038 Half man, half woman, totally annoying. 23 00:02:31,125 --> 00:02:33,785 Girl, she got herself a handful with that one. 24 00:02:34,041 --> 00:02:36,381 He was all up in my stuff once. 25 00:02:36,458 --> 00:02:39,578 I told him, "You better get that thing outta my ass 26 00:02:39,667 --> 00:02:42,377 or I'm gonna shit on it!" 27 00:02:42,458 --> 00:02:43,828 [Carrie laughs] 28 00:02:44,208 --> 00:02:46,458 [Samantha] "Get that thing out of my ass or I'm gonna shit on it!" 29 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:49,462 I mean, is that the dirtiest thing you've ever heard? 30 00:02:49,542 --> 00:02:51,542 Let's hope so! [laughs] 31 00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:54,325 I am paying a fortune to live in a neighborhood 32 00:02:54,417 --> 00:02:57,167 that's trendy by day and tranny by night. 33 00:02:57,250 --> 00:02:58,170 "Tranny"? 34 00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:00,250 Transsexuals. Chicks with dicks. 35 00:03:00,333 --> 00:03:02,503 Boobs on top, balls down below. 36 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,383 I don't get the appeal there. 37 00:03:04,458 --> 00:03:06,628 -It's the other white meat. -Ah. 38 00:03:06,709 --> 00:03:09,669 I understand that pseudo-straight married men from New Jersey 39 00:03:09,750 --> 00:03:12,170 have to get laid, but do they have to do it on my block? 40 00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,540 And I thought my roof chickens were bad. 41 00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:16,955 Every morning at 4:00 a.m. they start up. 42 00:03:17,041 --> 00:03:19,001 I mean, it's like they're putting on a show. 43 00:03:19,083 --> 00:03:21,463 The "up my ass" players. 44 00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:24,463 [everyone laughs] 45 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,825 Too early for tranny talk? 46 00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:31,377 It's so weird to just be sitting here 47 00:03:31,458 --> 00:03:34,628 eating egg white omelets again like nothing ever happened. 48 00:03:34,709 --> 00:03:37,079 [Carrie] It was our first Saturday morning breakfast together 49 00:03:37,166 --> 00:03:39,286 since Charlotte had flown the co-op 50 00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:41,955 and left Trey, her husband of just three months. 51 00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:44,001 I was married, and now what? 52 00:03:44,083 --> 00:03:46,213 I'm single again? 53 00:03:46,291 --> 00:03:48,461 Sweetie, you're not single, you're just separated. 54 00:03:48,542 --> 00:03:51,542 [Charlotte] That's right. I'm not single. 55 00:03:51,625 --> 00:03:53,455 I'll never be single again. 56 00:03:53,875 --> 00:03:55,285 I'll be divorced. [sighs] 57 00:03:55,709 --> 00:03:57,959 The only thing worse than being 34 and single 58 00:03:58,041 --> 00:04:00,081 is being 34 and divorced. 59 00:04:00,166 --> 00:04:01,626 Oh, thanks. 60 00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,379 I can think of something worse... 61 00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:06,328 being 34 and trapped in a marriage that doesn't work. 62 00:04:06,417 --> 00:04:07,997 Did I try hard enough? 63 00:04:08,083 --> 00:04:09,543 "Hard" being the operative word. 64 00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:11,245 Sweetie, Trey has an impotence problem-- 65 00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:12,583 Ah! 66 00:04:12,667 --> 00:04:15,667 I am so sick of talking about Trey. 67 00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:18,710 I think and talk about Trey all the time. 68 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,082 Just change the subject, please. 69 00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:23,456 Just talk about the "up my ass" stuff. 70 00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:24,792 [everyone laughs] 71 00:04:25,291 --> 00:04:27,001 Okay, here's the plan. 72 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:28,543 Sunday night we all come over, 73 00:04:28,625 --> 00:04:31,205 have a little "unpacking party," and no Trey talk. 74 00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:33,381 Absolutely. I'll bring the cocktails. 75 00:04:33,458 --> 00:04:34,628 And I'll bring the food. 76 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,745 How's everyone feel about roof chicken? 77 00:04:36,834 --> 00:04:38,634 [both] Mm! 78 00:04:38,709 --> 00:04:40,329 [dog barks] 79 00:04:41,709 --> 00:04:42,919 Can I help you? 80 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,500 Um, yeah, hi. 81 00:04:44,583 --> 00:04:45,923 I live around the corner, 82 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,080 and my window 83 00:04:47,166 --> 00:04:49,706 uh, looks over the roof with the chickens. 84 00:04:49,792 --> 00:04:51,672 And the crowing is... 85 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,710 Roosters. 86 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:53,752 Excuse me? 87 00:04:53,834 --> 00:04:56,384 They are roosters. Roosters crow. 88 00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:58,790 Oh, right. Yes, well, they do, 89 00:04:58,875 --> 00:05:00,665 and very loudly. 90 00:05:00,750 --> 00:05:01,920 I'm so sorry. 91 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,170 We just got them, 92 00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:05,670 rescued from a cock fight in the Bronx. 93 00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:06,790 Oh, my God. 94 00:05:06,875 --> 00:05:08,165 I'll have them moved to the basement. 95 00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:10,880 Oh, no, no, no. You don't have to do that. 96 00:05:10,959 --> 00:05:13,379 They had all that fight trauma. They need fresh air. 97 00:05:13,458 --> 00:05:15,078 I don't want them to be miserable. 98 00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:19,206 Don't worry, they have a very lovely life. 99 00:05:19,542 --> 00:05:22,042 No, that's, that's all right. I'll get over it. 100 00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:24,883 Thank you for being so nice. 101 00:05:26,041 --> 00:05:27,081 Oh, just... 102 00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,133 gonna take one of these for my friend. 103 00:05:29,208 --> 00:05:30,748 She has a cat. 104 00:05:37,583 --> 00:05:39,383 Hey, fatty, you hungry? 105 00:05:40,583 --> 00:05:43,423 Yeah? I'm hungry, too. 106 00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:52,750 Oh! 107 00:06:00,667 --> 00:06:01,997 [dialing] 108 00:06:02,083 --> 00:06:03,423 [telephone rings] 109 00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,170 [woman] Shanghai Garden. May I help you? 110 00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:07,330 Hi. Yeah, I'd like to order some take-out? 111 00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:08,497 [woman] Address, please. 112 00:06:08,583 --> 00:06:11,003 331 West 78th Street, 113 00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:13,253 -apartment 4-F. -[woman] Okay. 114 00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:15,833 I'd like to order some chicken with broccoli in a brown-- 115 00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:19,877 [woman] Brown sauce with brown rice, cold noodles. 116 00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:20,959 I know. 117 00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:22,921 Every night the same. 118 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,290 -Right. -[woman giggles] 119 00:06:26,375 --> 00:06:29,035 The Chinese take-out lady thinks I'm pathetic. 120 00:06:29,125 --> 00:06:32,035 She said, "Every night, every night the same thing." 121 00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,325 That's a tad bitchy for a take-out lady. 122 00:06:34,417 --> 00:06:35,957 Do you think I'm in a rut? 123 00:06:36,041 --> 00:06:38,421 -A food rut? -I'm sitting home with my cat, 124 00:06:38,500 --> 00:06:40,630 ordering the same thing almost every night. 125 00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:42,249 The only thing that could make it sadder 126 00:06:42,333 --> 00:06:45,383 is if I had a "Cathy" comic taped to my refrigerator door. 127 00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:48,125 Never say "Cathy comic" to me again. 128 00:06:48,458 --> 00:06:51,128 She giggled at me, the take-out lady. 129 00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:52,877 Then order from someplace else. 130 00:06:52,959 --> 00:06:55,459 There's, like, 600 Chinese places on your block. 131 00:06:55,542 --> 00:06:58,132 This place is my favorite. I like their cold noodles. 132 00:06:58,208 --> 00:07:00,078 And it's easier than figuring out where else to go. 133 00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:02,996 Fine, then bear the take-out food shame. 134 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,290 There they were, our ex-boyfriends. 135 00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:09,825 [muttering indistinctly] 136 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:13,883 What are they doing together? What, are they friends now? 137 00:07:13,959 --> 00:07:15,629 Apparently. This is bad. 138 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:19,250 What do you think they're talking about? 139 00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:20,383 Their dogs? 140 00:07:20,458 --> 00:07:21,918 Yeah, here's their dog conversation, 141 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,580 "How's your dog?" "Good. How's yours?" 142 00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:26,287 "Good. Was that those two bitches who ruined our lives?" 143 00:07:26,375 --> 00:07:27,875 No, they didn't see us. 144 00:07:32,959 --> 00:07:33,959 Oh, God. 145 00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:35,251 Okay, we have a choice. 146 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,170 We can either run the other away 147 00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:39,170 or we can move into this building. 148 00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,080 [chattering] 149 00:07:41,166 --> 00:07:43,126 Come on, we can't run. 150 00:07:43,208 --> 00:07:44,918 These shoe straps will break. 151 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000 All right. 152 00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:48,131 How do I look? 153 00:07:48,208 --> 00:07:49,328 Good. 154 00:07:49,709 --> 00:07:50,459 Great! 155 00:07:50,542 --> 00:07:52,042 You look great too. 156 00:07:52,709 --> 00:07:55,669 Thank God I didn't wear my drawstring pants. 157 00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:57,917 How ya doin', Scout? 158 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,880 -[Miranda] Okay. -[Carrie] Okay. 159 00:08:06,166 --> 00:08:07,706 [dog barks] 160 00:08:08,709 --> 00:08:10,879 [Steve] Hey, hey! Look who it is! 161 00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:15,375 [Carrie] That's another thing about New York... 162 00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:17,208 you never know who is just around the corner. 163 00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:19,791 See, this is what I like about New York. 164 00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:21,125 The street traffic. 165 00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:23,248 Hey! Hi. 166 00:08:24,875 --> 00:08:26,285 Well, look at you. 167 00:08:27,792 --> 00:08:28,922 Hello. 168 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:30,962 Look who it is, Pete. 169 00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:33,131 -[dog whines] -Hey, Pete! 170 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,538 Hello! 171 00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:38,786 Oh, my God! Look how big he got! 172 00:08:38,875 --> 00:08:40,625 He starts college next year. 173 00:08:41,917 --> 00:08:43,497 You must be very proud. 174 00:08:43,583 --> 00:08:45,383 [Carrie] Two beers at a time? 175 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,828 What? Miranda and I give you guys a drinking problem? 176 00:08:47,917 --> 00:08:49,287 [both laugh] 177 00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:51,455 They're not just for us, um... 178 00:08:52,583 --> 00:08:55,923 I'll have nightmares about that ladies' room for weeks. 179 00:08:56,834 --> 00:09:00,084 Carrie, Miranda, this is Jessica, and Susan. 180 00:09:00,166 --> 00:09:01,246 [both] Hello. 181 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:04,875 Honey, do you still wanna see the movie or just crash? 182 00:09:04,959 --> 00:09:06,499 [Steve] I don't care. 183 00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:12,377 -Well, we have to go. -Yeah, we gotta go. 184 00:09:12,458 --> 00:09:14,128 -Yeah. -[Pete barks] 185 00:09:14,208 --> 00:09:15,748 It was good to see you, Aidan. 186 00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:18,333 Bye. 187 00:09:18,417 --> 00:09:19,417 -Bye. -Bye. 188 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,250 -Sorry. -Sorry. 189 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,750 -I ran a little that way. -Goin' this way? 190 00:09:24,834 --> 00:09:26,424 [both laugh] 191 00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,960 [Carrie] That night, over at Charlotte's, 192 00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:33,381 some light unpacking and some heavy realizations. 193 00:09:33,458 --> 00:09:36,128 Well, they're over us. 194 00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:38,708 It's just so hilarious. 195 00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:41,212 I'm hemorrhaging inside it's so funny. 196 00:09:41,291 --> 00:09:44,751 We thought they were sitting there pining away, 197 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,674 and they have new girlfriends already. 198 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:47,790 Were they cute? 199 00:09:47,875 --> 00:09:49,665 The point is not if they were cute, 200 00:09:49,834 --> 00:09:52,714 the point is they were there. 201 00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:55,292 -[Miranda] They were cute. -Very cute. 202 00:09:55,375 --> 00:09:57,745 How can they have new relationships already? 203 00:09:57,834 --> 00:10:00,794 I'm still in the "I just broke up with someone" phase. 204 00:10:00,875 --> 00:10:02,125 It's infuriating. 205 00:10:02,208 --> 00:10:04,998 Women sit around obsessing about what went wrong 206 00:10:05,083 --> 00:10:06,083 over and over, 207 00:10:06,166 --> 00:10:07,536 and men just say, "all righty," 208 00:10:07,625 --> 00:10:08,705 and they move on. 209 00:10:08,792 --> 00:10:11,002 I take offense at that generalization. 210 00:10:11,083 --> 00:10:13,583 Not all women sit around and obsess about men. 211 00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:16,707 As soon as my relationships are over, I move on. 212 00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,077 Relationships? 213 00:10:18,166 --> 00:10:19,876 You know, dates. 214 00:10:19,959 --> 00:10:23,919 Well, I definitely do try to figure out what went wrong, 215 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,790 but I don't think that I obsess. 216 00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:29,375 Oh, my God, you're Miss Obsess. 217 00:10:29,458 --> 00:10:30,328 Big? 218 00:10:30,417 --> 00:10:33,207 Well, yeah, okay, yes, Big. 219 00:10:33,291 --> 00:10:35,631 Big was tricky, I still don't know what happened there. 220 00:10:35,709 --> 00:10:36,999 Honey, you look back so much, 221 00:10:37,083 --> 00:10:38,923 you should have a relationship rear view mirror. 222 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,750 "Relationships may appear closer than they actually are." 223 00:10:41,834 --> 00:10:44,714 Well, I didn't obsess about Aidan. 224 00:10:44,792 --> 00:10:46,882 Aidan was clear. I hurt him, he moved on. 225 00:10:46,959 --> 00:10:49,669 It's so much easier for men to move on. 226 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:50,880 Is it? 227 00:10:50,959 --> 00:10:52,129 [scoffs] Please! 228 00:10:52,333 --> 00:10:54,673 The ratio of women to men in this city is huge. 229 00:10:54,750 --> 00:10:57,290 All they have to do is sit outside, have a beer, 230 00:10:57,375 --> 00:11:00,125 and wait for the Jessicas and Susans to come to them. 231 00:11:00,333 --> 00:11:04,633 Well, maybe we only obsess over relationships that feel unfinished. 232 00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:07,415 Well, I can guarantee that Trey 233 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,170 isn't sitting around with his friends 234 00:11:09,250 --> 00:11:10,830 obsessing about what went wrong. 235 00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:13,827 That's because men never think that anything is their fault. 236 00:11:14,083 --> 00:11:15,833 I wish there were no men. 237 00:11:15,917 --> 00:11:19,167 Oh, God, call someone. She's gone insane. 238 00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:22,580 If there were no men, then we wouldn't feel hurt, 239 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,333 and we wouldn't be disappointed, 240 00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:27,827 and we wouldn't be spending our entire night 241 00:11:27,917 --> 00:11:29,707 sitting here obsessing about them. 242 00:11:29,792 --> 00:11:32,042 I'm so over men. 243 00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:35,209 What? 244 00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:36,711 I am. 245 00:11:36,792 --> 00:11:38,712 [Carrie] Later that night, I got to thinking about men, 246 00:11:38,792 --> 00:11:40,832 and women, and relationships. 247 00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,037 Or more to the point, 248 00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:44,205 how women feel men disappoint them 249 00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:45,501 in relationships. 250 00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:46,963 Then a radical, 251 00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:50,041 almost earth-shattering thought popped into my head... 252 00:11:50,125 --> 00:11:53,165 What if everything isn't the man's fault? 253 00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:56,170 After a certain age, and a certain number of relationships, 254 00:11:56,250 --> 00:11:57,580 if it still isn't working, 255 00:11:57,667 --> 00:12:00,417 and the exes seem to be moving on and we don't... 256 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,290 perhaps the problem isn't the last boyfriend, 257 00:12:03,375 --> 00:12:06,535 or the one before him, or even the one before him... 258 00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:09,915 Could it be that the problem isn't them, 259 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,290 but horror of horrors... 260 00:12:12,375 --> 00:12:13,955 Is it us? 261 00:12:14,041 --> 00:12:16,581 [loud chattering] 262 00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:18,997 And downtown, the "up my ass" players 263 00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:21,673 were in the middle of their late-night repertory... 264 00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:23,460 "Much Ado About Up My Ass" 265 00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:25,832 and "Long Day's Journey Up My Ass". 266 00:12:25,917 --> 00:12:29,537 [loud chattering] 267 00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:32,415 Samantha decided if she was ever gonna get a good night's sleep again, 268 00:12:32,500 --> 00:12:36,960 she'd have to test just how effective a PR professional she was. 269 00:12:38,208 --> 00:12:39,668 Ladies, hello. 270 00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:41,380 Motherfucker! 271 00:12:42,125 --> 00:12:45,665 I live right up there, the loft within earshot. 272 00:12:45,750 --> 00:12:48,540 Now, as much as I respect a woman's right 273 00:12:48,625 --> 00:12:49,915 for a little somethin'-somethin' 274 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,630 with certain New Jersey gentlemen, 275 00:12:51,709 --> 00:12:53,789 I have a request. 276 00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:57,043 I have a very early business meeting. 277 00:12:57,125 --> 00:13:01,415 And I think we all know there are certain dark circles 278 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:04,420 that even the cleverest makeup tricks can't cover. 279 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,460 -Mm-hmm. -Am I right? 280 00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:08,207 Sorry to wake you, baby. 281 00:13:08,500 --> 00:13:09,960 We'll take it down here a bit. 282 00:13:10,041 --> 00:13:11,711 I appreciate it. 283 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,706 By the way, I'm Samantha. 284 00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:16,378 Destiny. 285 00:13:16,709 --> 00:13:18,459 -Chyna. -Jo. 286 00:13:18,542 --> 00:13:20,422 No "E". She got the "E" cut off. 287 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,460 -[laughing] -I told you I was gonna get you back! 288 00:13:23,542 --> 00:13:26,212 Those heels are fierce, Miss Girl! 289 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:27,960 Aha! 290 00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,501 Don't I know it! 291 00:13:29,583 --> 00:13:30,753 -[snaps fingers] -[women laugh] 292 00:13:30,834 --> 00:13:31,884 [Carrie] Samantha always knew 293 00:13:31,959 --> 00:13:33,169 how to get her way with men... 294 00:13:33,250 --> 00:13:35,080 even if they were half women. 295 00:13:35,542 --> 00:13:38,212 [telephone rings] 296 00:13:43,917 --> 00:13:44,877 What? 297 00:13:45,709 --> 00:13:46,919 [man] Rough night? 298 00:13:48,083 --> 00:13:48,963 Who is this? 299 00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:50,541 It's me. 300 00:13:52,542 --> 00:13:53,422 Oh. 301 00:13:53,917 --> 00:13:57,497 I didn't recognize your voice, you sounded different. 302 00:13:57,583 --> 00:13:58,833 Did I wake you? 303 00:13:58,917 --> 00:14:00,167 It's only 11:30. 304 00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:03,830 No, I was up late working, 305 00:14:03,917 --> 00:14:05,077 and there are these... 306 00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:08,673 goddamn chickens that crow on the roof next-door. 307 00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:10,080 Roosters. 308 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,747 Roosters crow. 309 00:14:11,834 --> 00:14:13,504 Yes, a "fun on the farm" fact 310 00:14:13,583 --> 00:14:15,503 everyone seems to be aware of but me. 311 00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:17,923 So tell me, is red a mistake? 312 00:14:19,208 --> 00:14:20,378 In what way? 313 00:14:21,333 --> 00:14:23,253 I'm repainting my bedroom. 314 00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:24,833 A red bedroom? 315 00:14:24,917 --> 00:14:26,327 [Big] Just one wall. 316 00:14:26,417 --> 00:14:28,287 But I think... 317 00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:30,383 it's too red. 318 00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:33,291 It's like sleeping in communist China. 319 00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:38,915 She left. 320 00:14:40,333 --> 00:14:41,463 We ended it. 321 00:14:43,458 --> 00:14:44,498 I heard. 322 00:14:45,041 --> 00:14:46,291 You did? 323 00:14:46,375 --> 00:14:47,455 How? 324 00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:50,955 I think it was on the news. 325 00:14:52,208 --> 00:14:53,418 [sighs] 326 00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:55,462 Could we have lunch sometime? 327 00:14:57,917 --> 00:15:00,127 Well, I really need to talk to you. 328 00:15:01,542 --> 00:15:02,582 Please? 329 00:15:02,792 --> 00:15:03,832 Where? 330 00:15:03,917 --> 00:15:06,747 The Boathouse Restaurant in Central Park. 331 00:15:06,834 --> 00:15:08,754 How about Saturday at 2:00? 332 00:15:11,250 --> 00:15:12,170 Carrie? 333 00:15:12,417 --> 00:15:13,377 I'm nodding. 334 00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:14,748 So I'll see you at 2:00, then. 335 00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:16,464 Bye. 336 00:15:21,125 --> 00:15:24,245 Later that day, I met Miranda at my favorite thrift store 337 00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:26,133 to dig for buried treasure. 338 00:15:26,208 --> 00:15:28,748 Hey, do you think I can get away with 339 00:15:28,834 --> 00:15:30,634 a "Hang in there, baby" halter top? 340 00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:32,129 I don't think anybody can get away with 341 00:15:32,208 --> 00:15:33,788 a "Hang in there, baby" halter top. 342 00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:35,245 [laughs] 343 00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:38,670 Do you want to go to the Hopper exhibit Saturday afternoon? 344 00:15:39,083 --> 00:15:41,543 Oh, I can't. I have to work. 345 00:15:47,792 --> 00:15:49,832 I lied. I don't have to work. 346 00:15:50,625 --> 00:15:53,205 I'm meeting Big for lunch, and I didn't think you'd approve. 347 00:15:53,291 --> 00:15:54,881 Wait, you're meeting Big? 348 00:15:54,959 --> 00:15:55,959 He called. 349 00:15:56,041 --> 00:15:56,921 He sounded upset 350 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,500 and he said he needed to talk. 351 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,497 Since when does Big talk? 352 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,210 What does that mean? 353 00:16:07,458 --> 00:16:09,288 He's upset about Natasha leaving-- 354 00:16:09,375 --> 00:16:10,705 You know-- Okay, you know what? 355 00:16:10,792 --> 00:16:12,752 I'm not holding your hand through this again. 356 00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:15,254 I'm not asking you to hold my anything. 357 00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:16,543 We're just having lunch. 358 00:16:16,625 --> 00:16:18,625 [laughs] It's a huge mistake. 359 00:16:18,709 --> 00:16:21,789 It is not a huge mistake. It's lunch. 360 00:16:21,875 --> 00:16:22,745 Wake up, Carrie! 361 00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:23,754 How many more times 362 00:16:23,834 --> 00:16:25,334 are you gonna go through this? 363 00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:26,627 He is bad for you! 364 00:16:26,709 --> 00:16:28,289 Jesus, every time you get near him, 365 00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:31,705 you turn into this pathetic, needy, insecure victim. 366 00:16:31,792 --> 00:16:33,292 And the thing that pisses me off the most 367 00:16:33,375 --> 00:16:35,625 is that you're more than willing to go right back for more. 368 00:16:35,709 --> 00:16:37,209 I am not going back for more! 369 00:16:37,291 --> 00:16:38,881 And I can't even believe-- 370 00:16:39,917 --> 00:16:41,997 I can't believe you would say that to me. 371 00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:43,293 [Miranda] If you start up with Big again-- 372 00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:45,665 I am not starting up with Big again! 373 00:16:45,750 --> 00:16:48,000 Well, if you do, I don't want to know anything about it. 374 00:16:48,083 --> 00:16:50,633 I mean it, Carrie. No calls. No crying. 375 00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:51,789 Oh, what are you gonna do, Miranda? 376 00:16:51,875 --> 00:16:52,705 You gonna cut me out of your life 377 00:16:52,792 --> 00:16:53,832 like you did to Steve? 378 00:16:53,917 --> 00:16:54,997 What? 379 00:16:55,083 --> 00:16:56,003 The first sign 380 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,253 of any little weakness or flaw 381 00:16:58,333 --> 00:17:00,213 and you just write people off! 382 00:17:00,583 --> 00:17:03,423 My God, Miranda, you are so judgmental! 383 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,330 [gasps] 384 00:17:04,417 --> 00:17:05,377 [Carrie] Oh, what, you can say 385 00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,128 that I'm pathetic and needy 386 00:17:07,208 --> 00:17:09,288 and I can't say anything to you? 387 00:17:09,375 --> 00:17:12,125 You know, everybody's not as tough as you, Miranda. 388 00:17:12,875 --> 00:17:14,075 Peop-- 389 00:17:14,291 --> 00:17:16,421 some of us make mistakes. 390 00:17:19,792 --> 00:17:22,752 Perfect, that's just perfect, walk away! 391 00:17:23,458 --> 00:17:25,378 It's all my fault. 392 00:17:25,458 --> 00:17:28,828 And right there, next to the two for five-dollar bin, 393 00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:31,787 Miranda and I had our first big fight. 394 00:17:35,875 --> 00:17:37,955 [answering machine] You have no messages. 395 00:17:42,542 --> 00:17:44,002 I thought by the time I got home 396 00:17:44,083 --> 00:17:46,963 Miranda would have left an apology on my machine. 397 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,420 I was gonna call her, 398 00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:53,710 but I wasn't quite sure what to say. 399 00:17:53,792 --> 00:17:55,792 Or whose fault it really was. 400 00:17:57,959 --> 00:18:00,879 And at the exact same moment across town, 401 00:18:00,959 --> 00:18:05,169 Miranda was preparing to make the call she'd been dreading all day. 402 00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:09,958 [woman] Shanghai Garden. May I help you? 403 00:18:10,041 --> 00:18:12,251 Hi, yes, I'd like to order some take-out. 404 00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:14,253 Okay. Address, please. 405 00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:18,333 331 West 78th Street, apartment 4-F. 406 00:18:18,417 --> 00:18:19,287 I'd like some-- 407 00:18:19,375 --> 00:18:20,375 [woman] Chicken broccoli, 408 00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:21,458 brown sauce, 409 00:18:21,542 --> 00:18:23,422 brown rice, and cold noodles. 410 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:24,710 Right? [giggles] 411 00:18:24,792 --> 00:18:27,502 You know what? I don't need this. Never mind. 412 00:18:27,583 --> 00:18:29,753 [woman] Okay. Bye-bye... 413 00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:34,134 [Carrie] After she hung up, Miranda couldn't get the giggle out of her head. 414 00:18:34,208 --> 00:18:36,168 She decided to walk the two blocks 415 00:18:36,250 --> 00:18:38,630 to confront the woman with the judgmental giggle 416 00:18:38,709 --> 00:18:40,879 who thought she was so much better than her. 417 00:18:40,959 --> 00:18:42,289 -[telephone rings] -Hi. 418 00:18:42,667 --> 00:18:45,377 Shanghai Garden. May I help you? 419 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:50,794 Okay. Yes. Address, please? 420 00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:54,205 224 West 70-- 421 00:18:54,917 --> 00:18:58,037 Oh, sorry, 73! 422 00:18:58,125 --> 00:18:59,705 [giggles] 423 00:19:01,709 --> 00:19:04,579 [Carrie] Miranda realized the giggle wasn't about her at all, 424 00:19:04,667 --> 00:19:06,377 it wasn't about anything. 425 00:19:08,291 --> 00:19:09,881 [woman giggles] 426 00:19:12,875 --> 00:19:15,285 It really wasn't the noodles that kept her coming back 427 00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:17,125 to this particular restaurant. 428 00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:18,788 It was the fact that this had been their place, 429 00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:21,375 and it was filled with happy memories. 430 00:19:25,417 --> 00:19:26,457 Hey! 431 00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:29,172 Twice in one week. Am I lucky or what? 432 00:19:29,375 --> 00:19:31,625 I thought I got custody of this place. 433 00:19:31,709 --> 00:19:33,919 I like their hot and sour soup. 434 00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:36,958 -You here by yourself? -Mm-hmm. 435 00:19:37,041 --> 00:19:37,961 Me, too. 436 00:19:38,041 --> 00:19:39,251 Sit down. 437 00:19:39,583 --> 00:19:42,003 I got this whole bowl of crunchies here 438 00:19:42,083 --> 00:19:43,923 that I'll never get through. 439 00:19:46,250 --> 00:19:47,630 So how are you? 440 00:19:47,959 --> 00:19:49,879 Oh, not good. 441 00:19:50,375 --> 00:19:51,705 Carrie and I had a huge fight. 442 00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:53,832 Yeah? About what? 443 00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:55,497 Me, her, 444 00:19:55,583 --> 00:19:57,383 you, Big, 445 00:19:57,834 --> 00:19:59,384 me. 446 00:19:59,458 --> 00:20:00,788 Mm. 447 00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:05,213 My judgmental stuff, 448 00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:07,535 how bad was it? 449 00:20:07,959 --> 00:20:08,999 It wasn't good. 450 00:20:09,083 --> 00:20:11,923 Steve, I didn't throw you away, did I? 451 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,460 No. 452 00:20:13,709 --> 00:20:15,039 [Miranda] She said I did. 453 00:20:15,667 --> 00:20:18,627 Miranda, only you and I can ever really know 454 00:20:18,709 --> 00:20:20,459 what happened between you and I. 455 00:20:20,917 --> 00:20:23,127 It's nobody else's business. 456 00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:27,750 But she said that, huh? 457 00:20:28,041 --> 00:20:29,461 Ouch! [laughs] 458 00:20:29,625 --> 00:20:31,035 Must have been pretty mad. 459 00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:34,705 Well, I didn't exactly say nice things to her, either. 460 00:20:35,125 --> 00:20:37,575 I just don't want her to get hurt again, you know? 461 00:20:38,125 --> 00:20:40,125 So you yelled at her? 462 00:20:41,583 --> 00:20:42,633 Yeah. 463 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,875 [laughs] Sounds about par. 464 00:20:46,625 --> 00:20:48,955 I'm guessing your new girlfriend doesn't yell. 465 00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:50,291 Nope. 466 00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,040 [Miranda] How's that going? 467 00:20:54,709 --> 00:20:56,289 -It's okay. -You like to order? 468 00:20:56,542 --> 00:21:00,002 Oh, yes, I'd like the chicken with broccoli in brown-- 469 00:21:01,417 --> 00:21:03,377 You know what? Let me see the menu. 470 00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:06,459 I should try something new. 471 00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:08,502 Yeah, sure, go ahead. 472 00:21:08,667 --> 00:21:09,787 Live a little. 473 00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:13,504 -Wow, there's so much. -Mm. Mm. 474 00:21:14,709 --> 00:21:17,379 [loud chattering outside] 475 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,630 -Baby, you're so fucking hot. -Oh, no. 476 00:21:20,834 --> 00:21:21,674 I can't believe it! 477 00:21:21,750 --> 00:21:23,000 They go away for one night 478 00:21:23,083 --> 00:21:24,753 and then they're back three nights in a row. 479 00:21:24,834 --> 00:21:27,174 Forget them, baby. Look at me. 480 00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:29,833 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 481 00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:31,210 I'm here. 482 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:33,881 [both moan] 483 00:21:35,375 --> 00:21:38,625 Where are those cops? I called them a half an hour ago. 484 00:21:38,709 --> 00:21:40,629 Baby, baby, look at me. 485 00:21:40,709 --> 00:21:42,169 Let's bring it on home. 486 00:21:43,542 --> 00:21:45,542 Oh, I can't! 487 00:21:45,875 --> 00:21:48,875 -Baby, I'm close! -Yeah, well, I'm not! 488 00:21:48,959 --> 00:21:50,579 [groans] 489 00:21:50,667 --> 00:21:52,627 [Carrie] The idea that she'd miss a night's sleep 490 00:21:52,709 --> 00:21:53,879 pissed Samantha off. 491 00:21:53,959 --> 00:21:55,959 The idea that she'd miss an orgasm 492 00:21:56,041 --> 00:21:57,671 was more than she could bear. 493 00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,000 [Chyna] I can't help ya... 494 00:21:59,083 --> 00:22:02,503 Shut up, you bitches! I called the cops! 495 00:22:02,583 --> 00:22:04,083 Suck my cock! 496 00:22:04,333 --> 00:22:07,543 Yeah, keep talking and I'll come down there and cut it off for ya! 497 00:22:07,625 --> 00:22:09,825 I'd like to see you try, motherfucker! 498 00:22:09,917 --> 00:22:11,997 I don't know who you think you are with those cheap pale ass shoes. 499 00:22:12,083 --> 00:22:13,753 They weren't that fierce, no-way! 500 00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:17,084 [yelling continues] 501 00:22:17,583 --> 00:22:19,793 Baby, you're not gonna pull a Lorena Bobbitt, are you? 502 00:22:19,875 --> 00:22:21,705 $7,000 a month and I have to listen 503 00:22:21,792 --> 00:22:24,462 to the trilogy of fucking trannies out there? 504 00:22:24,959 --> 00:22:26,749 I don't fucking think so! 505 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,540 I am a tax paying citizen 506 00:22:29,625 --> 00:22:31,665 and a member of the Young Women's Business Association. 507 00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:33,500 I don't have to put up with this shit! 508 00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:35,333 Baby, forget them and come back to bed. 509 00:22:35,417 --> 00:22:37,417 [Carrie] But there was nothing anyone could do to stop her. 510 00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:39,670 Samantha was a woman obsessed. 511 00:22:39,750 --> 00:22:41,880 She had a date with Destiny... 512 00:22:41,959 --> 00:22:44,209 Chyna, and Jo, no "E". 513 00:22:44,291 --> 00:22:46,081 Take this, ladies! 514 00:22:46,166 --> 00:22:48,326 [women scream] 515 00:22:48,417 --> 00:22:52,457 I'm gonna come up there and kick your ass, bitch! 516 00:22:53,166 --> 00:22:54,956 [laughs] 517 00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:57,745 Get off my hair now! Shit! 518 00:22:57,834 --> 00:22:59,584 -[women laugh] -[siren blares] 519 00:22:59,667 --> 00:23:02,377 [cop] Come on, girls. Let's move it along. Break it up. 520 00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:03,668 Let's move it along, girls. 521 00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:04,580 [Chyna] We are moving. 522 00:23:04,667 --> 00:23:05,877 You heard the man! 523 00:23:05,959 --> 00:23:08,129 Move it along! 524 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,330 Hey! 525 00:23:11,417 --> 00:23:13,287 -Where are you going? -Home. 526 00:23:13,834 --> 00:23:15,504 Baby, you freak me out. 527 00:23:15,583 --> 00:23:17,133 Oh, oh. 528 00:23:17,208 --> 00:23:20,578 [Carrie] And uptown, Charlotte was a bit freaked out as well. 529 00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:22,877 Unable to sleep, and unable to unpack, 530 00:23:22,959 --> 00:23:24,959 she was spending time with the only man 531 00:23:25,041 --> 00:23:26,711 she could bring herself to tolerate... 532 00:23:26,792 --> 00:23:27,712 the Dalai Lama. 533 00:23:27,792 --> 00:23:29,252 [knock at door] 534 00:23:29,583 --> 00:23:31,423 [Trey] Charlotte, it's me. 535 00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:32,830 Trey? 536 00:23:36,542 --> 00:23:38,672 What are you doing here? It's 4:00 a.m. 537 00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:40,130 Yeah, I know, I... 538 00:23:40,208 --> 00:23:41,628 I saw your light on from the street, 539 00:23:41,709 --> 00:23:43,249 I figured you'd still be up. 540 00:23:43,333 --> 00:23:44,583 What do you want? 541 00:23:45,166 --> 00:23:47,996 Ever since you left, I can't stop thinking about you. 542 00:23:51,542 --> 00:23:53,332 Honey, we're separated. 543 00:23:53,625 --> 00:23:54,625 I know. 544 00:23:56,375 --> 00:23:58,575 [Carrie] It seems once Charlotte swore off men, 545 00:23:58,667 --> 00:24:00,707 this man couldn't get enough of her. 546 00:24:01,291 --> 00:24:02,961 [moans] 547 00:24:07,375 --> 00:24:09,325 He wasn't a rooster, and it wasn't the Bronx, 548 00:24:09,417 --> 00:24:11,417 but from somewhere deep inside... 549 00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:13,420 Trey's cock began to crow. 550 00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:15,170 [Charlotte squeals] 551 00:24:17,917 --> 00:24:20,997 And across town, I was still wide awake. 552 00:24:21,083 --> 00:24:24,173 I couldn't get my fight with Miranda out of my head. 553 00:24:24,250 --> 00:24:27,380 Turns out, I was a woman who was not only capable 554 00:24:27,458 --> 00:24:29,788 of obsessing about my relationships with men, 555 00:24:29,875 --> 00:24:31,915 I was a woman who was capable 556 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,330 of obsessing about my relationships with women. 557 00:24:34,417 --> 00:24:35,917 -[rooster crows] -No. 558 00:24:37,208 --> 00:24:39,208 [crowing continues] 559 00:24:46,041 --> 00:24:47,331 [telephone rings] 560 00:24:47,417 --> 00:24:49,207 [woman] This is the East Side Animal Shelter. 561 00:24:49,291 --> 00:24:50,541 Please leave a message. 562 00:24:50,875 --> 00:24:53,415 Hi, this is your neighbor who complained about the chickens. 563 00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:56,245 I'm leaving a message 'cause I can't take it anymore. 564 00:24:56,333 --> 00:24:59,133 Move 'em in. Thanks. 565 00:24:59,208 --> 00:25:01,208 I figured if they had a very lovely life, 566 00:25:01,291 --> 00:25:03,081 I was entitled to the same thing. 567 00:25:03,166 --> 00:25:04,916 [crowing continues] 568 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,580 Ugh! 569 00:25:07,417 --> 00:25:09,037 [clicks tongue] Well... 570 00:25:10,750 --> 00:25:12,130 All righty. 571 00:25:13,583 --> 00:25:15,423 I knew that was in me somewhere. 572 00:25:16,041 --> 00:25:17,081 You did? 573 00:25:19,041 --> 00:25:20,081 Yeah. 574 00:25:20,166 --> 00:25:22,376 I just hadn't felt it since before-- 575 00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:26,710 Why'd you stop yourself? Before what? 576 00:25:27,917 --> 00:25:29,747 Since before we got engaged. 577 00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:32,290 Oh. 578 00:25:33,458 --> 00:25:35,828 Yeah, "Oh." 579 00:25:36,583 --> 00:25:40,293 Do you think our whole problem had to do with the fact that-- 580 00:25:42,875 --> 00:25:43,875 What? 581 00:25:45,375 --> 00:25:46,455 Say it. 582 00:25:48,041 --> 00:25:49,791 You didn't really want to marry me. 583 00:25:49,875 --> 00:25:53,125 No. No. 584 00:25:53,792 --> 00:25:55,542 I think it may have had something to do with the fact 585 00:25:55,625 --> 00:25:58,665 that I maybe didn't want to get married to anybody. 586 00:25:58,750 --> 00:26:00,130 Then, why did you? 587 00:26:01,625 --> 00:26:03,325 I guess I thought it was time. 588 00:26:03,417 --> 00:26:05,327 I'm of a certain age, 589 00:26:06,125 --> 00:26:07,955 people expect you to get married. 590 00:26:08,625 --> 00:26:10,125 Yes, well... 591 00:26:10,625 --> 00:26:12,245 that sounds familiar. 592 00:26:13,542 --> 00:26:14,922 And one other thing. 593 00:26:15,458 --> 00:26:16,628 What? 594 00:26:17,500 --> 00:26:20,210 I married you because I knew I'd never find anyone 595 00:26:20,291 --> 00:26:22,461 as wonderful as you to marry. 596 00:26:24,375 --> 00:26:26,625 [snores] 597 00:26:28,500 --> 00:26:29,830 [banging] 598 00:26:30,834 --> 00:26:33,174 -Hmm? -[banging] 599 00:26:36,834 --> 00:26:38,174 Hmm? 600 00:26:39,834 --> 00:26:41,174 [banging] 601 00:26:44,542 --> 00:26:47,462 Oh! 602 00:26:48,959 --> 00:26:50,209 [banging continues] 603 00:26:55,166 --> 00:26:58,126 [Carrie] He may have gone away a pre-op transsexual, 604 00:26:58,208 --> 00:27:00,288 but he came back loaded with eggs. 605 00:27:00,375 --> 00:27:01,665 -[egg smashes] -[Samantha groans] 606 00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:05,250 Now who's laughin', bitch? 607 00:27:05,333 --> 00:27:08,333 [Carrie] Samantha realized this was one relationship with a man 608 00:27:08,417 --> 00:27:10,667 she wouldn't be able to just walk away from. 609 00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:13,540 Because this man... was half woman. 610 00:27:17,375 --> 00:27:19,035 Oh, good, you're there. 611 00:27:19,458 --> 00:27:21,208 I was just gonna call you. 612 00:27:21,709 --> 00:27:23,379 Do you really think I'm pathetic? 613 00:27:23,458 --> 00:27:25,128 No, I'm so sorry. 614 00:27:25,208 --> 00:27:27,378 I don't think you're pathetic at all. 615 00:27:27,917 --> 00:27:30,077 I'm outside the restaurant hiding in some bushes. 616 00:27:30,166 --> 00:27:32,076 Do you still not think I'm pathetic? 617 00:27:33,583 --> 00:27:35,633 Look, I know you think it's a huge mistake, 618 00:27:35,709 --> 00:27:39,629 it's just, it's just something I feel I need to do to move on or something. 619 00:27:39,709 --> 00:27:41,499 [Miranda] You know what? Don't listen to me. 620 00:27:41,583 --> 00:27:43,753 I have no idea what's right for you and Big. 621 00:27:43,834 --> 00:27:47,544 Okay. But if I'm totally wrong and it is a huge mistake, 622 00:27:47,625 --> 00:27:49,165 I need to know you'll be there for me. 623 00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:50,920 I'm there. 624 00:27:51,291 --> 00:27:54,631 Okay, I'm going in. Any last-minute advice? 625 00:27:54,709 --> 00:27:56,419 Yes, don't let him kiss you. 626 00:27:56,500 --> 00:27:59,040 That seems to be where you get into trouble. 627 00:28:00,417 --> 00:28:01,377 Carrie? 628 00:28:01,458 --> 00:28:02,628 I'm nodding. 629 00:28:05,250 --> 00:28:08,790 [light piano music] 630 00:28:20,250 --> 00:28:24,210 Hello, you. 631 00:28:25,375 --> 00:28:26,455 [sighs] 632 00:28:27,083 --> 00:28:29,883 [sighs deeply] It's good to see you. 633 00:28:35,500 --> 00:28:37,040 -[screams] -[Big] Oh! 634 00:28:37,125 --> 00:28:38,785 [splashes] 635 00:28:40,125 --> 00:28:42,825 [yelling] 636 00:28:43,166 --> 00:28:45,246 [both laugh] 637 00:28:45,625 --> 00:28:46,955 Are you okay? 638 00:28:47,667 --> 00:28:49,667 [both laugh] 639 00:28:50,041 --> 00:28:52,961 My hair was in the duck pond! 640 00:28:53,291 --> 00:28:55,831 -My Christian Dior purse! -I'll get it! 641 00:29:00,500 --> 00:29:01,540 Oh, my God! 642 00:29:01,625 --> 00:29:03,575 [screams] What is that? 643 00:29:04,041 --> 00:29:06,461 [hair dryer blowing] 644 00:29:11,583 --> 00:29:12,793 [Big] How was your shower? 645 00:29:12,875 --> 00:29:15,325 I no longer smell of pond. 646 00:29:15,834 --> 00:29:17,294 [both laugh] 647 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,830 Exactly how many terry cloth robes do you have? 648 00:29:23,500 --> 00:29:24,790 Three or four. 649 00:29:24,875 --> 00:29:26,665 Oh, three or four. 650 00:29:29,333 --> 00:29:32,043 I swore I would never be in this room with you again. 651 00:29:32,125 --> 00:29:35,665 You said to take you to the nearest shower. 652 00:29:39,959 --> 00:29:42,539 That is one red wall. 653 00:29:42,834 --> 00:29:44,174 Yep. 654 00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:45,670 It's red. 655 00:29:48,834 --> 00:29:52,674 Hey, I gotta ask you a question. 656 00:29:55,917 --> 00:29:58,377 [sighs] Was it all my fault? 657 00:29:59,291 --> 00:30:00,541 No. 658 00:30:01,792 --> 00:30:03,212 It wasn't all your fault. 659 00:30:03,542 --> 00:30:05,792 Man, we really screwed that up. 660 00:30:05,875 --> 00:30:07,415 What were we thinking? 661 00:30:09,417 --> 00:30:11,167 I have no idea. 662 00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:13,500 Fuck. 663 00:30:14,417 --> 00:30:16,497 I was counting on you for answers. 664 00:30:22,333 --> 00:30:24,003 How you doin', kid? 665 00:30:24,083 --> 00:30:25,833 Pretty good. How you doing? 666 00:30:26,291 --> 00:30:27,081 Good. 667 00:30:27,166 --> 00:30:28,206 Aside from the fact 668 00:30:28,291 --> 00:30:30,081 I feel like I've been through a war. 669 00:30:31,709 --> 00:30:33,829 Really, we're like war buddies. 670 00:30:34,417 --> 00:30:36,917 War buddies in Calvin Klein robes. 671 00:30:37,917 --> 00:30:39,127 [laughs] 672 00:30:41,709 --> 00:30:43,919 I hate to admit this, but... 673 00:30:44,750 --> 00:30:46,920 I kinda like living alone again. 674 00:30:49,375 --> 00:30:52,705 [laughs] Why doesn't that surprise me? 675 00:31:01,125 --> 00:31:02,375 I should go. 676 00:31:03,542 --> 00:31:05,792 Don't you want to stay awhile? 677 00:31:05,875 --> 00:31:07,825 I can't. 678 00:31:07,917 --> 00:31:09,207 Why? 679 00:31:12,750 --> 00:31:14,750 Because sweet friend... 680 00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:19,291 you and I are like that red wall. 681 00:31:20,125 --> 00:31:21,495 It's a good idea in theory, 682 00:31:21,583 --> 00:31:25,253 but somehow, it doesn't quite work. 683 00:31:30,208 --> 00:31:34,248 And just like that I realized Big and I weren't "us" anymore. 684 00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:37,383 We had become something else. 685 00:31:37,458 --> 00:31:40,128 What it was... I had no idea. 686 00:31:43,667 --> 00:31:44,917 [groans] 687 00:31:58,208 --> 00:31:59,998 [answering machine] You have one new message. 688 00:32:00,083 --> 00:32:00,923 [beeps] 689 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,130 [Miranda] Hey, it's me. 690 00:32:02,208 --> 00:32:03,918 I'm just wondering how it all went. 691 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:05,670 Call me when you get home. 692 00:32:18,250 --> 00:32:20,920 [Carrie] I had no idea where the chickens had gone, 693 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,580 but I hoped it wasn't the Bronx. 694 00:32:22,667 --> 00:32:24,667 And I hoped they were happy. 695 00:32:27,500 --> 00:32:28,580 Hi! 696 00:32:28,792 --> 00:32:32,002 [dance music playing] 697 00:32:32,500 --> 00:32:33,920 Who wants a wiener? 698 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,710 Girl, I'm trying to get rid of one. 699 00:32:35,792 --> 00:32:37,042 [laughs] 700 00:32:37,125 --> 00:32:39,075 [Carrie] The next Saturday, Samantha decided 701 00:32:39,166 --> 00:32:41,206 to throw a kiss and make-up party 702 00:32:41,291 --> 00:32:43,381 for the "up my ass" players and their friends. 703 00:32:43,458 --> 00:32:44,918 Trey called me three times last week. 704 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,460 He is just dying to get back together, but I don't know. 705 00:32:47,542 --> 00:32:49,042 I mean, is that wise? 706 00:32:50,250 --> 00:32:51,130 Oh, my God. 707 00:32:51,208 --> 00:32:53,288 I'm obsessing again, aren't I? 708 00:32:53,375 --> 00:32:54,495 A little bit. 709 00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:57,130 So what are we all drinking? 710 00:32:57,208 --> 00:32:58,208 Flirtinis. 711 00:32:58,291 --> 00:33:00,461 Vodka, pineapple, and champagne. 712 00:33:00,542 --> 00:33:02,042 Flirtinis. 713 00:33:02,583 --> 00:33:03,463 Destiny made them. 714 00:33:03,542 --> 00:33:05,462 Honey, I'm way past a flirtini. 715 00:33:05,542 --> 00:33:06,882 I need a fuck-tini! 716 00:33:06,959 --> 00:33:09,709 Watch your language. There's ladies present. 717 00:33:09,792 --> 00:33:10,832 Where? 718 00:33:12,542 --> 00:33:14,042 Hey! You with the flower! 719 00:33:14,125 --> 00:33:15,955 What do you mean, "You with the flower"? 720 00:33:16,041 --> 00:33:17,131 You talkin' to me? 721 00:33:17,208 --> 00:33:19,168 -Yes, you, girl! -They're talkin' to you. 722 00:33:19,542 --> 00:33:22,502 Get up! Get up! Go on! 723 00:33:22,583 --> 00:33:23,793 What do you want? 724 00:33:23,875 --> 00:33:25,665 I want you to give me a swirl and a twirl. 725 00:33:25,750 --> 00:33:28,540 I need to see you spin first, sister. 726 00:33:28,625 --> 00:33:29,575 Woo! 727 00:33:31,083 --> 00:33:32,583 [cheers] 728 00:33:32,667 --> 00:33:33,877 Is that good enough? 729 00:33:33,959 --> 00:33:35,829 Give me a little shake. Yes! Give me a shake. 730 00:33:35,917 --> 00:33:37,497 You mean something like that? 731 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,380 Oh, my. Look at that waist, honey. Eat something! 732 00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:43,670 Go, girl. You look good. 733 00:33:43,750 --> 00:33:46,380 [laughing and chattering] 734 00:33:50,917 --> 00:33:52,327 [Carrie] Don't worry... 735 00:33:52,417 --> 00:33:54,457 they have a very lovely life. 736 00:33:54,542 --> 00:34:01,752 ["Above The Clouds" by Amber playing]