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There is one day
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even the most cynical
New York woman dreams of
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all her life.
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It'll be fabulous.
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Everything white, white flowers,
white tablecloths,
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white food, W-H-I-T-E, white!
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She imagines what she'll wear,
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the photographers, the toasts.
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Everybody celebrating the
fact that
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-she finally found...
-Oh!
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...a publisher.
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It's her book release party.
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This is a sexy event,
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so don't be afraid to use color.
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I'm not afraid of anything.
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How about pink?
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-Hot pink.
-Pink.
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Isn't it perfect?
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It's huge.
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Huge space, huge book.
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-Who's coming?
-Everyone.
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Okay, this is cuckoo.
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Guest list!
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When your career
is going better than ever,
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it's hard not to get a big head.
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Meanwhile, Miranda was
back at the office
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and she was
politically incorrectly
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happy to be there.
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I have Walker Louis calling.
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I'll take that.
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Miranda and Walker had
shared one night of great sex
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B.C.
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"Before Child."
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I'm so glad I wasn't
waiting for your call.
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I'm so glad you remember me.
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Oh, I remember you.
37
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Oh, I remember you too.
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I remember you naked.
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So, how you been?
40
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What's new with you?
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Nothing much. How about you?
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I was hoping
to take you
43
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on a very belated second date.
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How about Thursday?
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She invited him to be
her plus one at the book party
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since she knew she'd be
conveniently minus one.
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Magda had already
agreed to babysit.
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Meanwhile, Charlotte was
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Justin Anderson the third.
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Well, thanks for another
lovely lunch,
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and for walking me home.
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-My pleasure.
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Justin was
just in time,
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because Charlotte
was finally ready
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-for a new relationship.
-
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Oh!
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Good afternoon, Mrs. Collier.
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Yes, it certainly was.
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And she's one of
the friendly ones.
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I think I'd better
get back to work.
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Okay.
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-Bye.
-Bye.
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I was in
a new relationship, too,
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with my publisher.
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Mm-hmm, okay, bye-bye.
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I am so freaking excited
about this party!
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Seriously, Carrie,
we are so golden.
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People actually want to come
to this book party.
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-All of Condé Nast is coming,
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including GQ,
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which has actual straight men.
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Someone better kiss me at this
thing. That's all I gotta say.
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So, it's not about
selling books.
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It's about finding you
a boyfriend.
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-Ahh...
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00:03:32,017 --> 00:03:34,007
Hey, Courtney-- Oh!
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I didn't know you had
somebody in here. I'm sorry.
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00:03:37,001 --> 00:03:38,021
-Oh.
Jack, what are you
doing here?
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Using the Xerox machine.
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00:03:40,004 --> 00:03:41,004
You finish your second book?
81
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No, my suicide note.
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Would you like
a "Save the Date" card?
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Please.
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You know each other?
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-No.
-No.
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Oh, Carrie Bradshaw.
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Her book of essays
comes out this week.
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Oh, very exciting.
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Jack Berger. We published
his first book last year.
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Oh!
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And your name is Berger?
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Never heard of me.
93
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What does that say about
your publicity department?
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Not your primary market.
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Right, because she's not
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-in my immediate family.
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Jack wrote a hilarious
comic novel that speaks to men
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the same way your column
speaks to women.
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Yeah, except men don't buy
hilarious comic novels.
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That's the flaw in the plan.
101
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-What's your book?
-"Half-off."
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That's what it's called now.
It's just half-off.
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Sometimes it's 75 cents
on a card table on Sixth Avenue.
104
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-Next to the incense.
-Exactly.
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You know, you two should talk,
106
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because, you know,
he knows the whole deal,
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the party, the signings,
the reading, the tour.
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Minutes later,
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00:04:35,015 --> 00:04:37,005
Jack Berger and I slowed down
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for a little fast food.
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I'm not so much feeding them
as I'm hitting them.
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Yes, I see that.
113
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"Did the man have
a little repressed anger?
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00:04:45,021 --> 00:04:49,001
Or did he just
dislike pigeons?"
The woman wondered.
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The woman is tripping over
the term "repressed."
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I'm not really bitter.
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I'm just trying it on for size.
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I think it fits.
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Yeah. It's a little tight
in the crotch.
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You're saying "crotch" to me?
We just met.
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Long in the sleeve?
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-Not as funny.
-See that,
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It had to be "crotch."
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How's that strawberry shake?
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It's very tasty, thank you.
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I can't believe that
you ordered strawberry.
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Who orders strawberry
after the age of 11?
128
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You have so much
to learn about women.
129
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Yeah, that's what
a few reviewers said.
130
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All right, what's next?
How long do I have you for?
131
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Well, I don't know.
What else is on your agenda?
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I gotta pick up
some dry cleaning.
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Would it be weird
for you to come with me
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to pick up some
dry cleaning?
135
00:05:39,003 --> 00:05:41,013
No. It would be weird
for you to send me.
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It's a nice place.
It's right around the corner.
Family joint.
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-They have an actual abacus.
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We were having
one of those great first dates
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you can only have
when it's not an actual date.
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-Oh...
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Thank you.
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-What's that?
-Eh, it's stupid.
143
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-I collect found playing cards.
-Oh...
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They're all over the city.
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00:06:19,019 --> 00:06:20,999
-Really?
-Yeah. It's...
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00:06:21,004 --> 00:06:23,014
-I never noticed.
-Well, you will now,
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that's how it works.
148
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I'm hoping to get a full deck.
149
00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:29,013
-Insert the obvious joke here.
150
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And, uh, I didn't have
a two of hearts.
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Oh?
152
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It's a good day.
153
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Yes, it is.
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Hey, Berger.
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00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:44,024
We're on a last-name basis now?
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-Yeah.
-Okay.
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Berger, would you,
by any chance...
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00:06:52,006 --> 00:06:55,016
want to be my plus one
on Thursday?
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00:06:56,003 --> 00:06:59,023
It's my book party and I don't
have a date, and...
160
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You'll have the clean shirt
and all. So...
161
00:07:04,017 --> 00:07:05,997
I would love that, um...
162
00:07:06,003 --> 00:07:08,013
But my girlfriend's parents
are coming to visit,
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and they are staying with us.
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Oh.
165
00:07:14,021 --> 00:07:17,011
It was like a bomb
that just kept exploding.
166
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"I have a girlfriend."
167
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"We live together."
168
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"This whole flirtation's
in your head."
169
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He should've
mentioned her earlier.
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But not too early.
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I hate it when men do that.
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"I have a girlfriend."
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Calm down. I just asked
if that seat was taken.
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That guy's a jerk.
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Thing is, I don't think he is.
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I sparked with this person.
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I never spark.
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I wonder how happy they are.
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00:07:47,023 --> 00:07:49,023
This is not a good side of me.
180
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Seriously, what's the point
of meeting someone like that
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00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:53,024
if they're not available?
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00:07:54,001 --> 00:07:56,011
It's the universe telling you
they're still out there.
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00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:58,020
Maybe it's the universe
telling you all the good ones
are taken.
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I'm telling you,
all the good ones
are coming to the party.
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00:08:02,021 --> 00:08:04,001
What did he look like?
186
00:08:05,002 --> 00:08:06,012
I can't remember.
187
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Which is what happens
when I really like someone.
188
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I just remember a feeling.
189
00:08:13,016 --> 00:08:14,996
Or he was a dating mirage.
190
00:08:15,004 --> 00:08:17,014
I was so hungry for a spark,
I hallucinated a man.
191
00:08:17,007 --> 00:08:19,017
Stop. You're
the toast of the town.
192
00:08:19,017 --> 00:08:20,997
Finish your salad.
193
00:08:21,003 --> 00:08:23,023
And I'll treat you to
a little mani-pedi-Botox.
194
00:08:23,022 --> 00:08:25,012
I like how you say that
like everybody does it.
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00:08:25,016 --> 00:08:26,016
Everybody will.
196
00:08:26,021 --> 00:08:28,011
I think I'd rather
just crawl into bed.
197
00:08:28,016 --> 00:08:30,016
Oh, honey, a little perspective!
198
00:08:30,019 --> 00:08:32,009
You have a fun, exciting,
199
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:34,010
intellectually stimulating
career,
200
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:37,023
and there's about to be a huge
soiree thrown in your honor.
201
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,997
Yes, and I'll be
without a plus one.
202
00:08:39,004 --> 00:08:41,014
-I'll be your plus one.
Coffee?
203
00:08:41,011 --> 00:08:43,011
He should have said
"we" something.
204
00:08:43,015 --> 00:08:45,995
"We" go to this dry cleaners.
205
00:08:46,002 --> 00:08:48,012
"We might be breaking up soon."
206
00:08:48,009 --> 00:08:50,009
I didn't tell Walker
I had a baby.
207
00:08:50,019 --> 00:08:53,009
-How could you not mention it?
-It didn't come up.
208
00:08:53,007 --> 00:08:56,007
If Walker had asked me directly,
"Have you given birth recently?"
209
00:08:56,011 --> 00:08:59,001
I would have said,
"First of all, define recently."
210
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,006
You have to tell him.
211
00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,007
I know. I will.
212
00:09:01,016 --> 00:09:03,006
I just don't want it
to change everything.
213
00:09:03,016 --> 00:09:06,006
If I didn't have a baby,
this is a guy I'd be dating.
214
00:09:06,008 --> 00:09:08,018
If Carrie's guy
didn't have a girlfriend,
215
00:09:08,017 --> 00:09:10,017
then he's a guy she'd be dating,
216
00:09:10,022 --> 00:09:11,022
but he does.
217
00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:13,021
Thanks for bringing
that up again.
218
00:09:15,015 --> 00:09:18,005
In New York, they say
you're always looking for
219
00:09:18,007 --> 00:09:20,007
a job, a boyfriend,
or an apartment.
220
00:09:20,013 --> 00:09:22,023
So, let's say you have
two out of three,
221
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,010
and they're fabulous.
222
00:09:24,009 --> 00:09:26,009
Why do we let
the one thing we don't have
223
00:09:26,016 --> 00:09:29,996
affect how we feel about
all the things we do have?
224
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,013
Why does one minus a plus one
225
00:09:32,016 --> 00:09:34,016
feel like it adds up to zero?
226
00:09:40,008 --> 00:09:42,018
Samantha didn't need a man
to make her feel positive,
227
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:46,010
but she did need a man to inject
her forehead every so often.
228
00:09:46,016 --> 00:09:48,006
We like to warn our patients
229
00:09:48,015 --> 00:09:51,995
that some people find it
difficult to register emotion
230
00:09:52,006 --> 00:09:54,016
on their faces
after the injections.
231
00:09:54,018 --> 00:09:58,018
"I am so angry."
232
00:09:58,019 --> 00:10:01,009
Miss Jones is familiar
with the procedure.
233
00:10:01,016 --> 00:10:06,016
Oh.
234
00:10:06,017 --> 00:10:07,017
New ones?
235
00:10:07,022 --> 00:10:09,022
Like most high-powered women,
236
00:10:09,019 --> 00:10:11,999
Samantha could handle
the stress of her job,
237
00:10:12,004 --> 00:10:14,004
but not the stress lines.
238
00:10:14,002 --> 00:10:15,022
Before we do the Botox,
239
00:10:15,019 --> 00:10:18,009
have you thought about
a freshening chemical peel?
240
00:10:18,009 --> 00:10:19,019
It takes 15 minutes,
241
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:21,998
and it can make you look
ten to 20 years younger.
242
00:10:23,006 --> 00:10:24,016
Oh!
243
00:10:25,010 --> 00:10:27,010
15 minutes later,
244
00:10:27,015 --> 00:10:29,005
Samantha seemed
to have it all...
245
00:10:31,023 --> 00:10:33,013
...peeled off.
246
00:10:35,007 --> 00:10:37,997
There are times when
a woman relishes being alone.
247
00:10:38,003 --> 00:10:39,013
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
248
00:10:41,019 --> 00:10:42,019
Oh, my God!
249
00:10:42,019 --> 00:10:43,999
And those are the times
250
00:10:44,006 --> 00:10:46,006
you usually run into someone
you don't wanna see.
251
00:10:46,013 --> 00:10:48,023
In my case, it was Enid Frick,
252
00:10:48,019 --> 00:10:51,999
my editor at Vogue, also alone.
253
00:10:54,007 --> 00:10:55,007
Carrie.
254
00:10:55,007 --> 00:10:56,017
Oh!
255
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,020
Oh, Enid. Hi.
256
00:11:00,002 --> 00:11:01,012
Well, uh...
257
00:11:02,023 --> 00:11:05,013
-How-- How are you?
-Good. Good.
258
00:11:05,010 --> 00:11:06,010
Are you meeting someone?
259
00:11:06,015 --> 00:11:08,005
No, I'm just grabbing
a quick bite.
260
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:09,005
Oh.
261
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:11,006
Well, um, would you like to--
262
00:11:11,016 --> 00:11:13,006
Oh, no, not if you're working.
263
00:11:13,016 --> 00:11:15,016
Oh, no, it's fine.
I was just reading.
264
00:11:16,012 --> 00:11:17,022
Hello!
265
00:11:19,002 --> 00:11:20,012
Hi.
266
00:11:20,015 --> 00:11:22,015
-"Hello!" is what you are--
-Oh!
267
00:11:22,021 --> 00:11:23,021
Reading.
268
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,010
Yes.
269
00:11:25,016 --> 00:11:27,016
So, do you really want company?
270
00:11:28,015 --> 00:11:30,005
Sure. I just ordered.
271
00:11:33,007 --> 00:11:35,007
I... I guess this way
I can expense it.
272
00:11:36,020 --> 00:11:38,000
Right.
273
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:47,014
Enid and I ran out of
Vogue stuff to talk about
274
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,007
midway through our salads.
275
00:11:49,005 --> 00:11:50,005
Do you live in the neighborhood?
276
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,023
No.
277
00:11:56,013 --> 00:11:58,013
But the man I'm seeing does.
278
00:11:58,013 --> 00:12:02,003
Oh. So, there's a man.
279
00:12:03,003 --> 00:12:05,003
Yes. There is a man.
280
00:12:05,009 --> 00:12:07,009
Well, that's great.
You have a wildly
281
00:12:07,012 --> 00:12:09,012
successful career
and a relationship.
282
00:12:09,011 --> 00:12:12,011
I was worried, we,
you know, women,
283
00:12:12,014 --> 00:12:15,004
only get one or the other,
284
00:12:15,004 --> 00:12:17,024
but you have it all.
285
00:12:21,021 --> 00:12:23,011
Enid, you gotta
give me something here.
286
00:12:23,011 --> 00:12:25,011
I'm working my ass off.
287
00:12:26,005 --> 00:12:27,005
Alright.
288
00:12:27,016 --> 00:12:31,006
To speak in magazine copy,
yes, I have it all...
289
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,011
on the East Side.
290
00:12:33,014 --> 00:12:35,024
He has someone else
on the West Side.
291
00:12:35,018 --> 00:12:38,008
Luckily, the park
provides a buffer.
292
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000
So...
293
00:12:40,019 --> 00:12:41,999
You're okay with that?
294
00:12:42,002 --> 00:12:45,012
Yes. I don't have time
for a full-time man.
295
00:12:45,009 --> 00:12:46,019
I have a full-time job.
296
00:12:47,004 --> 00:12:49,004
That's the key to having it all.
297
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,012
Stop expecting it to look like
298
00:12:50,015 --> 00:12:52,005
what you thought
it was going to look like.
299
00:12:52,016 --> 00:12:57,006
That's true of the fall lines,
and it's true of relationships.
300
00:12:57,011 --> 00:13:01,011
Her little tip earned
Enid one invitation to my party.
301
00:13:01,013 --> 00:13:06,013
That night, Charlotte let her
perfect plus one have it all.
302
00:13:23,015 --> 00:13:24,995
She even let him stay the night
303
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:27,014
in her perfect
pre-war apartment.
304
00:13:29,006 --> 00:13:32,006
Oh, yeah, that's Mangia,
I ordered breakfast.
305
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:34,000
You're too good to be true.
306
00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:38,001
Aw.
307
00:13:39,012 --> 00:13:41,002
Unfortunately...
308
00:13:41,004 --> 00:13:43,024
Charlotte was about to get
much more than she ordered.
309
00:13:48,015 --> 00:13:50,005
Is anybody home?
310
00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:52,020
Yes. I am.
311
00:13:52,017 --> 00:13:54,007
Oh, well, hello, Charlotte.
312
00:13:54,010 --> 00:13:56,010
Bunny, what are you doing here?
313
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:58,009
The question is,
what are you doing here?
314
00:13:58,016 --> 00:14:00,996
I'm hearing things
from the co-op board.
315
00:14:01,005 --> 00:14:03,005
They're spying on me?
316
00:14:03,012 --> 00:14:07,002
Mrs. Collier saw you kissing
a male caller in the hall
317
00:14:07,003 --> 00:14:08,013
in the middle of the day.
318
00:14:08,007 --> 00:14:10,017
I believe that kissing
is allowed.
319
00:14:10,022 --> 00:14:13,012
And Mrs. Pierce said
a gentleman,
320
00:14:13,013 --> 00:14:16,013
we assume it was the same one,
but who knows,
321
00:14:16,012 --> 00:14:18,012
came home with you last night.
322
00:14:18,008 --> 00:14:23,008
And according to the doorman,
he hasn't left yet.
323
00:14:23,016 --> 00:14:26,006
What I do with my life,
in my apartment is--
324
00:14:26,014 --> 00:14:27,024
That's the thing, dear.
325
00:14:27,023 --> 00:14:29,013
It's not your apartment.
326
00:14:29,014 --> 00:14:31,014
Trey gave me this apartment.
327
00:14:31,011 --> 00:14:32,021
It's not Trey's to give.
328
00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:36,000
And this apartment
remains in the MacDougal name.
329
00:14:36,004 --> 00:14:40,014
Whereas you, Charlotte York...
do not.
330
00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:43,000
So, you see,
it's rather a sticky subject,
331
00:14:43,003 --> 00:14:46,013
made stickier by the fact
that you're still married.
332
00:14:46,008 --> 00:14:47,018
Ah...
333
00:14:47,022 --> 00:14:49,012
You're married?
334
00:14:49,020 --> 00:14:51,020
I'm not married. I'm separated.
335
00:14:51,017 --> 00:14:54,007
Aren't you missing
a pair of trousers?
336
00:14:55,018 --> 00:14:58,018
-You... You have to go.
-Don't you hustle me out,
337
00:14:58,019 --> 00:14:59,019
young lady.
338
00:14:59,021 --> 00:15:02,011
-This is Chanel.
339
00:15:02,016 --> 00:15:04,006
Charlotte discovered
that a plus one,
340
00:15:04,016 --> 00:15:08,006
plus one ex-mother-in-law
equals disaster.
341
00:15:09,023 --> 00:15:13,013
Meanwhile,
I was manning party central.
342
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:19,007
-Hello.
-Anthony is going to be
343
00:15:19,009 --> 00:15:20,019
my date to the party.
344
00:15:20,022 --> 00:15:23,012
What happened to this perfect
plus one we all had to meet?
345
00:15:23,013 --> 00:15:24,023
I don't wanna talk about it.
346
00:15:24,021 --> 00:15:26,001
-Well, sweetie, what ha--
347
00:15:26,006 --> 00:15:27,006
That's my call waiting,
can you hang on a sec?
348
00:15:27,011 --> 00:15:29,011
-No, I can't.
349
00:15:29,009 --> 00:15:32,009
That's the locksmith.
Bunny's back.
350
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:34,020
Ooh. Hello.
351
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,020
So, I'm definitely
on the list, correct?
352
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:38,022
Of course you're on the list.
353
00:15:38,021 --> 00:15:40,021
Good, 'cause I'm bringing
my boyfriend.
354
00:15:40,021 --> 00:15:42,011
Yes, I've heard.
355
00:15:42,010 --> 00:15:43,020
I don't want to
seem like a nobody,
356
00:15:43,023 --> 00:15:45,013
now that I have a somebody.
357
00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:48,002
Oh, so it's okay to be a nobody
when you have nobody?
358
00:15:48,004 --> 00:15:50,014
Apparently, "you're nobody
till somebody loves you."
359
00:15:50,014 --> 00:15:52,024
I can't believe I used to like
that song.
360
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,008
It's the co-dependent
national anthem.
361
00:15:54,016 --> 00:15:56,016
Oh, me thinks someone's
a little jelly.
362
00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:59,020
Well, I just miss having you
as my plus one.
363
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:02,021
You know, the gay guy
is the single gal's safety net.
364
00:16:02,018 --> 00:16:04,008
Even Charlotte has a gay
plus one.
365
00:16:04,015 --> 00:16:05,015
And this is my big night.
366
00:16:05,020 --> 00:16:07,020
Her little boy-bitch
Anthony is coming?
367
00:16:07,018 --> 00:16:10,018
Yes, he's coming.
He styled the event.
368
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,001
Well, good,
I'm glad he'll be there.
369
00:16:13,004 --> 00:16:15,014
Because he's bringing a woman
and I have it all.
370
00:16:15,014 --> 00:16:16,024
-Oh, and I have a call.
371
00:16:16,019 --> 00:16:17,019
See you tonight.
372
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,019
Okay, ciao.
373
00:16:19,023 --> 00:16:21,013
Hello!
374
00:16:21,009 --> 00:16:23,999
Honey, I've had
a little something done.
375
00:16:24,006 --> 00:16:27,016
And it's not as bad
as yesterday, but...
376
00:16:30,005 --> 00:16:31,015
I've looked better.
377
00:16:32,006 --> 00:16:36,016
Uh... I'm not sure I should
go to the party.
378
00:16:36,018 --> 00:16:37,998
You have to come.
379
00:16:38,004 --> 00:16:39,024
You're my publicist.
And thanks to you,
380
00:16:39,022 --> 00:16:41,012
there's going to be
8,000 people there.
381
00:16:41,010 --> 00:16:44,020
I would like to see
at least one familiar face.
382
00:16:45,001 --> 00:16:46,011
-Well...
Samantha,
383
00:16:46,010 --> 00:16:48,000
I need you, I can't talk
to the press.
384
00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:50,006
I can't keep everyone straight.
385
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:53,010
And... you said you would
by my plus one.
386
00:16:53,008 --> 00:16:55,018
Oh, alright.
387
00:16:55,018 --> 00:16:58,998
Don't worry about a thing.
I'll be there.
388
00:16:59,004 --> 00:17:01,014
Okay, thank you.
389
00:17:13,015 --> 00:17:15,005
Ah!
390
00:17:15,016 --> 00:17:18,006
The party was one of
those amazing events
391
00:17:18,008 --> 00:17:21,008
that would definitely
end up on page six.
392
00:17:21,007 --> 00:17:22,017
The fact that it was my party,
393
00:17:22,022 --> 00:17:25,022
was just icing on
the beautiful little cakes
394
00:17:25,023 --> 00:17:29,013
that were being passed around by
beautiful little waiters.
395
00:17:29,013 --> 00:17:32,023
Carrie Bradshaw,
right here! Carrie, one more!
396
00:17:32,017 --> 00:17:35,007
Oh, that's great!
Carrie, right here!
397
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:40,023
Alright, gentleman, thank you.
398
00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:43,008
-Oh, my God, Carrie!
399
00:17:43,016 --> 00:17:45,006
One more,
one more, Ms. Bradshaw!
400
00:17:47,001 --> 00:17:49,001
-Can you believe this?
-Is it a bad thing
401
00:17:49,005 --> 00:17:50,005
if the party
is better than the book?
402
00:17:50,013 --> 00:17:52,013
-I've been turning people away.
-Oh...
403
00:17:52,008 --> 00:17:53,998
Not the straight men, of course.
404
00:17:54,004 --> 00:17:55,014
Hey, have you seen Samantha?
405
00:17:55,012 --> 00:17:57,012
-Oh, no.
-Vanity Fair
doesn't have a table.
406
00:17:57,008 --> 00:17:59,998
-Oh!
-Not your problem. Enjoy.
407
00:18:00,004 --> 00:18:02,014
Ooh, cute guy.
408
00:18:03,003 --> 00:18:05,023
Thank you, Carrie.
-Hey.
409
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:08,017
-Hello, Carrie. I'm Harold
Keenan of The New Yorker.
-Oh...
410
00:18:08,023 --> 00:18:10,013
And I've been following
your career.
411
00:18:10,014 --> 00:18:12,014
-Oh.
-Let me just say
congratulations.
412
00:18:12,015 --> 00:18:14,005
-Thank you...
Carrie.
413
00:18:14,014 --> 00:18:16,004
I'm here!
414
00:18:16,002 --> 00:18:17,022
Oh, oh!
415
00:18:19,002 --> 00:18:20,012
You look amazing!
416
00:18:20,014 --> 00:18:22,014
Oh. Um...
417
00:18:22,009 --> 00:18:26,009
Harold Keenan from
The New Yorker ,
this is Samantha Jones.
418
00:18:26,008 --> 00:18:27,018
Bee keeper.
What are you doin' under there?
419
00:18:28,001 --> 00:18:30,011
Talk to the man.
Let him see your face.
420
00:18:30,013 --> 00:18:31,023
Carrie!
421
00:18:34,021 --> 00:18:36,021
There she was, my plus one.
422
00:18:36,023 --> 00:18:38,023
Minus one layer of skin.
423
00:18:38,017 --> 00:18:40,017
Hi, I've had a chemical peel.
424
00:18:40,017 --> 00:18:42,017
I'm Carrie's publicist.
425
00:18:47,010 --> 00:18:49,010
Could you at least separate
the two thoughts,
426
00:18:49,012 --> 00:18:51,012
chemical peel,
Carrie's publicist?
427
00:18:51,012 --> 00:18:52,022
Why did you do this?
428
00:18:52,021 --> 00:18:54,021
-It was an impulse purchase.
-No, no.
429
00:18:54,019 --> 00:18:58,009
Gum is an impulse purchase.
This is more than gum.
430
00:18:58,008 --> 00:19:00,008
I wanted to be super fresh
for the party.
431
00:19:00,009 --> 00:19:02,009
Well, you are.
You look like beef carpaccio.
432
00:19:02,015 --> 00:19:04,005
-Veil down, I think.
-No!
433
00:19:04,007 --> 00:19:05,007
-Yeah.
-If you knew
434
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:07,011
how many dinner parties
I've sat through
435
00:19:07,007 --> 00:19:07,997
across from one of these.
436
00:19:08,006 --> 00:19:09,006
And you were able to eat?
437
00:19:09,023 --> 00:19:13,013
Carrie, I'm entitled
to a chemical peel.
438
00:19:13,007 --> 00:19:15,017
Wait! Wait! No, no, no.
The hat was good.
439
00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:17,023
Women shouldn't have to
hide in the shadows
440
00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:19,012
because they've had
cosmetic surgery,
441
00:19:19,013 --> 00:19:21,013
which society nearly
demands of them.
442
00:19:21,013 --> 00:19:23,013
Wear a ribbon and make that
political statement elsewhere.
443
00:19:23,010 --> 00:19:25,020
This is my party
and you're scaring people.
444
00:19:25,018 --> 00:19:27,008
Carrie!
-Oh, hi.
445
00:19:27,016 --> 00:19:30,006
-I've had a chemical peel.
446
00:19:30,008 --> 00:19:31,998
And she's not afraid to say it.
447
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:36,014
When I had my nose job,
I stayed in for a month.
448
00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:39,010
Oh, excuse us.
449
00:19:39,008 --> 00:19:42,008
We have to go find Charlotte
and her tiny little friend.
450
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,020
We were just getting
to know each other.
451
00:19:44,023 --> 00:19:46,013
I was planning on telling him.
452
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:48,020
Char, you can wrap it up
in a Tiffany bow all you like.
453
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,020
The point is you wanted
to get laid first.
454
00:19:52,001 --> 00:19:54,021
-Charlotte, hello.
-Hi, Stanford.
455
00:19:54,019 --> 00:19:55,019
You remember Anthony?
456
00:19:55,023 --> 00:19:58,023
Anthony... Oh, oh, of course.
457
00:19:58,019 --> 00:20:00,019
You tried to fix us up
at the fashion show.
458
00:20:00,022 --> 00:20:02,002
I didn't know he'd be here.
459
00:20:02,003 --> 00:20:06,003
Um, this is, um, Marcus,
my boyfriend.
460
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:09,004
Really? How long you
two been going together?
461
00:20:09,004 --> 00:20:10,024
-Four months.
Hm...
462
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,020
Four whole months.
Good luck to you.
463
00:20:14,007 --> 00:20:16,017
We don't need luck.
We're in love.
464
00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:18,010
Uh-huh...
465
00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,018
Shrimp!
466
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:23,000
For some people,
having it all is not enough.
467
00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:25,024
They need someone who missed
out on it all to be jealous.
468
00:20:26,001 --> 00:20:27,021
We're getting a house
in the Hamptons.
469
00:20:28,001 --> 00:20:29,011
This friggin' coconut shrimp!
470
00:20:29,016 --> 00:20:30,996
What do you do with the tails?
471
00:20:31,006 --> 00:20:32,016
Mr. Shrimpy!
472
00:20:32,018 --> 00:20:34,018
And he has a large penis!
473
00:20:35,021 --> 00:20:37,001
Uh...
474
00:20:37,021 --> 00:20:40,011
Where in the Hamptons?
475
00:20:40,011 --> 00:20:44,011
From a pair of queens
to a hand still not shown...
476
00:20:49,010 --> 00:20:53,010
Maybe you and I should go
somewhere a little less crowded.
477
00:20:53,015 --> 00:20:54,015
Like, um...
478
00:20:54,022 --> 00:20:56,002
Anywhere in Manhattan?
479
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:59,022
Your apartment?
480
00:20:59,018 --> 00:21:01,008
Yes.
481
00:21:01,015 --> 00:21:05,995
But, um...first I have
to tell you something.
482
00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:07,013
Ah, there's someone else.
483
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:09,005
Huh, sort of.
484
00:21:10,014 --> 00:21:12,014
I had a baby.
485
00:21:15,010 --> 00:21:18,020
But I'm still allowed
to have sex.
486
00:21:20,004 --> 00:21:23,014
Is it, uh... mine?
487
00:21:23,016 --> 00:21:25,016
-No! No!
488
00:21:25,022 --> 00:21:29,022
The guy's a friend
who I accidentally slept with.
489
00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:31,011
-Whoo...
490
00:21:33,022 --> 00:21:35,012
I'm not good with kids.
491
00:21:35,007 --> 00:21:36,007
Neither am I.
492
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:41,006
Look, months from now,
if we're still together,
493
00:21:41,013 --> 00:21:44,013
we'll figure this out.
But for now,
494
00:21:44,008 --> 00:21:48,018
it's just us and, um,
I'm still the same person.
495
00:21:48,019 --> 00:21:52,019
So, let's go screw
our brains out.
496
00:21:55,002 --> 00:21:56,012
Huh?
497
00:22:04,012 --> 00:22:07,002
Oh, yeah, yeah.
498
00:22:07,006 --> 00:22:10,006
Oh, that feels amazing.
499
00:22:10,008 --> 00:22:12,008
-You sure we won't wake him?
-He's fine.
500
00:22:12,014 --> 00:22:15,014
He's fine.
Forget about him.
501
00:22:15,010 --> 00:22:18,010
Miranda was trying to
prove she could still do it all.
502
00:22:18,013 --> 00:22:19,023
Bring home the bacon,
503
00:22:20,001 --> 00:22:23,001
bring home the baby,
and bring home an orgasm.
504
00:22:23,004 --> 00:22:24,024
-Oh, yeah.
505
00:22:25,001 --> 00:22:27,011
Oh, Walker. Don't stop.
506
00:22:27,016 --> 00:22:30,006
Mm, yeah! Mm, yeah!
507
00:22:33,012 --> 00:22:38,002
Mommy's coming! Mommy's coming!
508
00:22:38,006 --> 00:22:39,016
I don't think I can do this.
509
00:22:40,018 --> 00:22:43,018
I told ya, I'm not a baby guy.
510
00:22:43,018 --> 00:22:45,998
Couldn't I just please
come first?
511
00:23:01,017 --> 00:23:04,007
Oh, so now you stop crying.
512
00:23:14,022 --> 00:23:18,022
So, here we are, huh?
513
00:23:18,017 --> 00:23:20,007
The night of my big party,
514
00:23:20,012 --> 00:23:23,002
Miranda finally gave in
to her little party,
515
00:23:24,008 --> 00:23:25,998
because she wasn't
the same person.
516
00:23:26,004 --> 00:23:27,024
She was plus one.
517
00:23:27,017 --> 00:23:28,017
Yeah.
518
00:23:29,012 --> 00:23:32,002
Yeah. It's okay.
519
00:23:35,012 --> 00:23:36,022
So, a book?
520
00:23:36,020 --> 00:23:38,020
A book. Does anybody
read books anymore?
521
00:23:38,020 --> 00:23:40,010
Well, actually, I think books
are coming back.
522
00:23:40,011 --> 00:23:42,011
You can quote me on
the side of a bus if you want.
523
00:23:42,016 --> 00:23:44,016
"Books are back." Isaac Mizrahi.
524
00:23:44,022 --> 00:23:46,022
-Okay, I'll remember that.
-Alright. Meet me.
525
00:23:46,020 --> 00:23:48,010
Bye.
-Perfect party, Carrie,
526
00:23:48,010 --> 00:23:49,010
congratulations.
527
00:23:49,013 --> 00:23:50,023
Worth coming downtown for?
528
00:23:50,023 --> 00:23:52,013
Mm.
529
00:23:53,018 --> 00:23:55,008
Was that a yes or a no?
530
00:23:55,008 --> 00:23:56,998
Oh, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa. Oh!
531
00:23:57,002 --> 00:23:58,012
Last one.
532
00:23:58,010 --> 00:24:00,010
Thank you.
533
00:24:02,013 --> 00:24:04,013
As I looked around I thought,
534
00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:05,020
who needs a date?
535
00:24:05,018 --> 00:24:08,008
I can have my cake
and eat it, too.
536
00:24:10,011 --> 00:24:12,021
Then suddenly...
537
00:24:12,021 --> 00:24:16,001
There he was,
looking cuter than I remembered.
538
00:24:16,003 --> 00:24:18,023
And minus one girlfriend.
539
00:24:19,019 --> 00:24:22,009
Hey, lady of the hour.
You're hard to
540
00:24:22,011 --> 00:24:23,021
get to.
541
00:24:23,017 --> 00:24:25,017
So is the dessert tray
when it's your party.
542
00:24:25,022 --> 00:24:27,022
Uh, just as
a point of reference,
543
00:24:27,021 --> 00:24:31,011
my book party could fit in
a coat check of your book party.
544
00:24:31,007 --> 00:24:33,007
400 of my closest acquaintances.
545
00:24:34,004 --> 00:24:35,014
You look great.
546
00:24:36,010 --> 00:24:38,020
So, I thought you
couldn't make it.
547
00:24:38,019 --> 00:24:41,009
Well, I had to come by,
say congratulations.
548
00:24:43,010 --> 00:24:44,020
Well...
549
00:24:45,020 --> 00:24:48,020
-Thanks for coming, Berger.
-Yeah.
550
00:24:50,022 --> 00:24:52,022
All right, uh...
551
00:24:52,018 --> 00:24:54,008
Good luck with the book and...
552
00:24:54,015 --> 00:24:56,005
and everything.
553
00:24:56,010 --> 00:24:58,000
You, too.
554
00:25:08,012 --> 00:25:10,002
-Excuse me.
-Hey!
555
00:25:10,013 --> 00:25:12,013
Was that the spark guy?
556
00:25:12,016 --> 00:25:13,996
-Yes it was.
-Mm.
557
00:25:14,004 --> 00:25:16,024
Jack Berger,
all by his lonesome.
558
00:25:16,019 --> 00:25:18,009
Well he is awfully cute.
559
00:25:18,011 --> 00:25:20,021
Is he? I forgot again.
560
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,000
He's obviously here
because he felt something, too.
561
00:25:24,004 --> 00:25:27,004
Can you call me
from a cab and tell me that?
562
00:25:27,009 --> 00:25:29,009
I love you but your face...
563
00:25:29,016 --> 00:25:30,016
Oh, I know.
564
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:32,020
The caterer just shooed me
away from the buffet.
565
00:25:32,019 --> 00:25:35,009
-Do you mind if I go home?
566
00:25:35,008 --> 00:25:37,008
I thought you'd never ask.
567
00:25:37,022 --> 00:25:39,022
Thank you for being here.
568
00:25:39,023 --> 00:25:43,003
Honey, I wouldn't have
gone out in public like this
569
00:25:43,006 --> 00:25:44,016
for anyone but you.
570
00:25:45,001 --> 00:25:48,001
I know
and I have to live with that.
571
00:25:49,017 --> 00:25:51,017
There, there, there.
572
00:25:51,017 --> 00:25:52,017
Bye.
573
00:25:52,019 --> 00:25:54,009
-Bye.
574
00:25:55,021 --> 00:25:58,021
I might go, too, my plus one
dumped me for a shrimp waiter.
575
00:25:58,022 --> 00:26:01,012
Mm, I'd love to leave,
but I have to stay.
576
00:26:01,010 --> 00:26:03,000
-Hm.
-I'm like the ice sculpture
577
00:26:03,006 --> 00:26:05,016
the party's
supposed to happen around.
578
00:26:09,020 --> 00:26:11,020
I had to let him go, correct?
579
00:26:13,003 --> 00:26:15,013
I just wish he told me
right up front.
580
00:26:16,017 --> 00:26:18,007
The thing is,
581
00:26:18,012 --> 00:26:20,002
there's some things
people don't admit
582
00:26:20,002 --> 00:26:23,022
because they just don't like
the way it sounds, like...
583
00:26:24,013 --> 00:26:26,013
"I'm getting divorced."
584
00:26:26,007 --> 00:26:27,017
I'm lonely.
585
00:26:29,010 --> 00:26:30,020
I am.
586
00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,010
The loneliness is palpable.
587
00:26:36,018 --> 00:26:38,018
Carrie, you didn't tell me
you invited Cliff?
588
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,010
-Cliff who?
-Cliff! Cliff!
589
00:26:40,016 --> 00:26:41,016
My Cliff.
590
00:26:41,022 --> 00:26:44,012
-And he's with her!
That's him?
591
00:26:44,010 --> 00:26:46,010
Cliff Bragin
from Prime Time Sports?
592
00:26:46,016 --> 00:26:48,006
Don't make a scene!
593
00:26:48,012 --> 00:26:50,002
This is her side of town?
594
00:26:50,005 --> 00:26:51,015
We're below Houston.
595
00:26:51,022 --> 00:26:54,022
East side, west side,
who the hell knows down here?
596
00:26:54,022 --> 00:26:58,002
I am so angry.
597
00:26:58,002 --> 00:27:01,012
As it turns out,
even the most together-woman
598
00:27:01,009 --> 00:27:03,019
can't keep it together
when it comes to love...
599
00:27:04,005 --> 00:27:06,015
-Who was that?
-My role model.
600
00:27:06,022 --> 00:27:10,022
Because just below the surface,
we're all raw and exposed.
601
00:27:11,001 --> 00:27:13,001
-
602
00:27:13,020 --> 00:27:15,010
Bye.
603
00:27:27,016 --> 00:27:30,996
Well, so, what was
the party for?
604
00:27:31,005 --> 00:27:35,015
Um, me.
I have a book coming out.
605
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,010
You wrote a book?
606
00:27:37,015 --> 00:27:40,995
Well, it's just a collection
of my--
607
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,020
Yes, I wrote a book.
608
00:27:43,022 --> 00:27:47,002
That's amazing! Congratulations!
609
00:27:47,006 --> 00:27:48,006
Thank you.
610
00:27:48,014 --> 00:27:50,014
It was kind of amazing.
611
00:27:50,011 --> 00:27:53,001
Why did I need a stranger
to remind me of that?
612
00:27:53,002 --> 00:27:54,022
So, where can I take you?
613
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,020
Oh, home. 73rd and...
614
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,000
Oh, no, no, no.
We have to celebrate this.
615
00:28:04,019 --> 00:28:07,009
Alright, coming right up.
I need those two
with mustard there.
616
00:28:07,011 --> 00:28:08,021
Come on, rapido, Papi.
617
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:10,010
Oh, can I tell him?
I wanna tell him.
618
00:28:10,008 --> 00:28:12,008
-Oh, no, I don't think--
-She wrote a book!
619
00:28:12,011 --> 00:28:14,021
Oh, no kiddin', congratulations.
Gonna be in the bookstores
620
00:28:14,019 --> 00:28:16,009
-and everything?
-Yep, yep.
621
00:28:16,011 --> 00:28:18,021
That's great.
Hey, well, if that's the case
then tonight...
622
00:28:18,018 --> 00:28:19,018
the hotdogs are on me.
623
00:28:19,021 --> 00:28:21,001
Oh, no, you don't have
to pay for--
624
00:28:21,003 --> 00:28:23,013
No. Dogs are on me. I insist.
625
00:28:23,014 --> 00:28:24,024
-Thank you.
-Thanks.
626
00:28:24,023 --> 00:28:26,023
Sure,
have a nice weekend.
-Thank you.
627
00:28:27,001 --> 00:28:30,001
All I could think was,
who needs a "Berger"
628
00:28:30,006 --> 00:28:33,006
when you can get a fabulous
hotdog for seventy-five cents,
629
00:28:33,015 --> 00:28:34,995
-or free?
630
00:28:35,005 --> 00:28:36,005
Thanks.
631
00:28:40,018 --> 00:28:41,998
Then again,
632
00:28:42,006 --> 00:28:44,016
maybe there is something
to knowing they're out there.